Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tide detergent~chan jumped off a roof and fell into chicken noodle soup~chans arms. They were lowkey working on the chimney!?!?!!!!?!?!??!?!~~ tide detergent was a single mother father who was also not at all single and very married with miserable children of enzymatic isotopes. They were miserable because they all knew VERRY WELL that tide detergent was cheating on mother-father BILLY THE CELL with chicken noodle soup chan. AS tide detergent~chan fell into chicken noodle soup~chans arms, chicken noodle soup~chan whispered into tide detergent~senpai´s bottle cap and said ¨how much longer do we have to hide, my dearest schmoopy kitten?¨.
¨i-im not sure,¨ said tide detergent-senpai in reply, ¨the kids are miserable my pookie wookie, i can’t bare it much longer, they have the right to have 3 parents, even if one may be far away at The Mines…¨.
Chicken noodle soup~chan sighed in reply, ¨I know, senpai…¨ “Remember when we first met ” chicken noodle soup signed reminiscingly. “Like it was yesterday ”, Tide-senpia replied.

*~~~~*
It was a hard day in the mines for tide detergent when suddenly tide detergent was throat punched by chicken noodle soup can.
“FUCK YOU BITCH IM THIS IS MY TERF I MINE HERE YOU JUST YEARN FOR THE MINES BRO GET OUT” chicken noodle soup can senpai chan kun screamed spookily.
Tide detergent cowered in fear and spit out tide detergent. Tide detergent chan was all like “ahhhhhh nooooo dont hurt ment kill meeeeeee im totally not a masochist!!!!”
“Ew tf.” Chicken Noodle Soup sputtered, “ bro i did not need to know allat dude bro guy man.” Chicken Noodle Soup ran away in fear because Chicken Noodle Soup is like woah, that's weird. Tide Detergent chan ran after chicken noodle soup senpai and pleaded for chicken noodle soup to come back. Tide Detergent really wanted to cheat on their wife-husband Billy The Cell.
*~~~~*
“sigh….” said Soup and Detergant-chansenpai in unison “how romantic……” tide whispered, leaning into Chicken Noodles arms, puckering their lips for a kiss and then. a voice.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” said BILLY THE CELL as it walked in on the heartbreaking scene.
Tide detergent and chicken noodle soup chan senpai kiss passionately in front of Billy The Cell, not caring about the uncaring world around them. Their policles touched and rubbed all up on each other in front of Billy of the Cell. Billy the Cell watched in horror as they continued to spread their bacteria to each other.

“IM GONNA DIVORCE YOU BITCH I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” billy the cell scremnt.
Then chicken noodle soup and tide detergent realized what was happening and broke apart abruptly.

“No its not what it looks like billy the cell chan!!!” tide detergent pleaded

“I'm done. I can't deal with you lying bald headed ass anymore.” Billy The Cell kun screamed.
The kids peered out the window… huddling near eachother in fear…… a tear slid down the youngests’ face as they realized what disgusting creatures their parents are and that they need to be put down in a lab immediately……

AND THEN due to the horrifying scene in front of them the police showed up instantly to take the kids away.

Chapter Text

In the courtroom at the divorce trial thing.”OBJECTION!!!!” Billy the Cell’s divorce lawyer Red 40 shouted. “The trial hasn't even started yet dude. “ The judge Egdworthe Scissorhands declared declaringly.

Mr. Peemnix's wrong was “OBJECTION TO YOUR OBJECTION TO YOUR OBJECTION!!!!” said phoenix rong.

“Peeeetuh the hoase is heaye.” tide detergent chan sprinkled as the horse exploded into the courtroom. Chicken noodle soup chan senpai was so spookily spooked that tide detergent chan kissed it passionately and got all over the judges stand in the middle of court.
“Yooooooo” edgeworth scissorhands said telepathically, “you did not need to do allat.”

The judge pushed the two off of the stand and began to shoot them. Tide Detergent and Chicken Noodle Soup easily dodged the bullets and flew out the courtroom windows.

“Well then”, the judge announced, “since those two are no longer with us you technically you guys winn the court case *congrats* ”.

“FUCK YEAH”, Red 400, Billy the Cells divorce lawyer scremt. “I HAVE FINALLY WON A CASE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Mean.

Tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan senpai were flying superman style in thwe sky. Then they looked at the conveniently placed tv set in the sky and saw the plane hit the first tower.
“ OH NO TIDE DETERGENT CHAN THEY HIT THE TWIN TOWERS” chicken noodle soup chan scremt.

They sped their way over to the New York. And they saw the second plane flying in.

“FLY BABY FLY,” some father screamed screamingly.

“Wuh oh look at that. This guy just chucked his baby out of the plane.” tide detergent chan said calmly. They flew over like superman in their super suits because they are superman to get the baby.

“I guess we can't save this one baby and also the second tower from being hit. Wuh oh. Everyone will die because of us. We will save this baby instead. Let's let that plane hit the second tower.” tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup senpai declared in unison.

The second tower falls and destroys the mines.

“NO THE PLACE WHERE WE MET!!!!! UNDER THE TWIN TOWERS!!!!!” tide detergent chan says.

“Now we can't clark kent everywhere,” super soup says.

Flashback

*~~~~*

It was sometime after the first meeting between Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide. While Tide was working in the mine they once again saw Chicken Noodle Soup smelling of the rock that they have been mining with their pickaxe.

“Did you know that Joanne Fabric will go bankrupt in 30 years?” Soup says conservatively.

“Yes of course ” Tide replies pre-twin-towers-constructionaly, “Did you know that I like eating rocks”, TTide continues more conversationally.

“You should quit working here you know its dangerous” chicken Noodle declares

“Yes but I need to work on the towers,” Tide Detergent replies.

“You know the twin towers will fall sooner than expected the construction is very poor,” Chicken Noodle Soup counters.

“Fair enough,” Tide says solemnly. They quit instantly and go to tell Billy the Cell (their soon to be husband-wife) the news. They hope they will see Chicken Noodle Soup Chan again.

Chapter Text

“Lets go assassinate Lump,” tide detergent chan says anti-bitchedly.

“Yes,” snorfs chicken noodle soup senapi.

They fly supermanly with the baby they saved instead of the twin towers over to the pink house. Thats where the president lives. Then they remembered that they aren't in the future and donald lump isnt in office yet (thank god). Then they went to the lump tower.

“Its giving.” says donald lump to his seventeen affair partners who are under the age of 18. “I am cheating on my wife.”

“Thats something we have in common.” tide detergent chan sporfles as it crashes into the room with its affair partner and stolen baby.

“Wow.” says baby.

“I love cheating on my wife with old men.” bitch lump says to his harem.

“We are here to kill you slowly and painfully” chicken noodle soup chan SCREAMED.

“Oh no. This time they wont miss!” trump lump spooks.

“They missed the first time.” tide detergent chan will scrempt.

Tide detergent chan pulled out his glock and will shoot up the harem and lump. “We are going future tense now because someone pointed out that i am changing tenses a lot.” chicken noodle soup chan will say.

“I will never adhere to english grammar rules. I hate capitalization.” tide detergent chan will say as it beat donald lumps skull in.

“We? should put! more. Periods. In the middle of scentences..!?,.” the baby will gurgle.

Tide detergent chan wil be beating donald lumps ass. Bam bam bam.
“NO MY LOVE” will be scrempt by donald lumps main lover in the harem Joe bipen.

Elongated musk balls into the room and will be bawling his dam eyes out. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HES MINE!!!!!!!!!” elongated scrempt.

“FUCK YOU BITCH TRIDEN FORVERE” Bipen will scrempt.

Bipens beauutiful blue orbs buldge out of its skull and it will eat elongated musks ass if he has to to get donald lump back. It would eat his ass anyways.

As i will watch it go down tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan wiill watch in abject horror. My darks balls of sight will open for the first time ontio this monstrosity. I watch as elongated musk and joe bipen will scramble to be by their lovers side, Each trying to be the first to his side so they can hold lump in their arms as he will return to mother earth.

“PLEEEEEEEEASE PUT MEE IN THE WILL QUICK SIGN THE PAPERS!!!!!!!!!” elongated musk will scream.

Joe bipen will shove him out of the way and crawl on all fours to Donald lump. “Squwak squawk please i am donald duck. Woof woof bark bark. Dont leave me alpha please.” joe bipen will plead.

“My omega i love you. Pheromone for me one last time. Im the alpha im the leader im the one to trust.” lump will bleed profusely on the floor. Before Joe bipen gets to pheromone for the final time, tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan take me, the baby, over to the group and shoot lump dead.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHO WILL CARE FOR OUR CHILD. IM PREGENANT!” Joe bipen yelled.

“HOW DARE YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME!!!!!” Elongated musk yells at my mother fathers. He was in pain from the loss of his alpha omega beta sigma senpai chan kun.

“Skibidi toilet” i say because i am an infant and i must make this story profitable. The children have to be marketed to so i must use gen alpha slang. It was my first word.

Elongated musk teared his eyes from the corpse already decaying on the floor and will pummel tide detergent chan, my mother ffather, in the body. They grapple with eachother on the ground. I am flung halfway across the room as chicken noodle soup chan jumps on top of musk. Joe bipen will plead at his alphas side for in this omegaverse he cannot provide for his baby if his alpha is dead. Joe bipen is pregenat. Obvilously.

Overcoming his greif, joe bipen huurtles across the room and grabs me from the floor. He pulls out his glock and holds it to my head. “STOP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW” joe bipen yells with his pregnant belly.

Chicken noodle soup and tide detergent stand up from where they were battling elongated musk. They will plead for my life. “Dont do something youll regret, joe bipen.” tide detergent chan will theaten.

I will start to cry as joe bipen held his glock to my skull. I feel as he started topull thhe trigger. At 4 minutes old i am already coming to terms with death. I fall to the ground for a second time as tide detergent chan tackles joe bipen to the floor, saving me from a lethal gunshot wound.

“You will not take the life of an innocent babby. I will kill your harem leader, but the baby had nothing to do with this. Kill me instead.” my mother father says monotonally.

Joe bipen screams in rage as he enters his second form. We watch in horror as joe bipen will contort and change at the molecular level. They change from flesh and blood to a metal endoskeleton. Their skin turns into the outer shell of a soldier ffrom the 16th century going on a crusade. “Whats up bitches its a me, gabriel from ultrakill.” no longer joe bipen says.

I had to put this guy in here because my friend threatened me. She said if she looks up ultrakill on AO3 and sees this shit that shes gonna fucking jump me so obviously i had to add garbiel from ultrakill to annoy her.” the creator of this story says.

“God?” we all will ask in unison.

“No im an atheist.” the voice says.

Then we turn to elongated musk and watch as he screams at gabriel ultrakill. “HE GAVE YOU A SECOND FORM BUT NOT ME?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!?!!!?!??” the freak says. “I WANTED A SECOND FORM!!!!!!!!IM HAVING A MANBABY TANTRUM NOW BECAUSE IM A BITCH!!!!” elongated musk says truth serumfully.

Gabriel ultrakill will look at elongated musk and say the following: “i actually so dont care bro. Piss off you bloddy twat. Imma gonna go kill V1 ultrakill now thanks. Bye chat” You will watch as garbiel ultrakill flies out of the room to go to hell and fight V1 like a lot or maybe theyll fuck i dont know my friend likes that ship. Ive never watched this show??? She showed me a smut fanfic of them and then yelled at me because i pointed out the its smut because she didnt think it was even though it literally said and i quote “i can feel him inside me” and we brought in a third party and he agreed that it was totally smut and shes actually crazy. I couldn't finish reading it.

“We can hear the voices.” i scream. I am the baby. This whole time. I heard all of that. I did NOT need to know what smut was yet. Im a baby.

Tide detergent senpai and chicken noodle soup senapi stare at eachother, will shrug, and started beating the living daylights out of elongated musk because hes being an annoying little bitch curled up on the floor crying like a freshly kicked puppy.

Then they were all dead and chicken noodle soup starts picking up the bodies to burn the evidence. “Its giving yandere simuator, senpai” tide detergent chan says murderously. “Wait lemme take a selfie with a corpse.” it took a selfie ith a corpse.

Chickne noodle soup chan sacrifices the bodies to satan because its a satanist and begins chanting rhythmically. It will burn the bodies and pour their blood onto a pyre for the devil. “Oh my god staaaahhppppp thats so hot chicken noodle soup chan!!!!” tide detergent chan squeals like a little school girl in britsh fashion.

“Wink.” chicken noodle soup chan winks at his affair partner hisband wife boyfriend girlfirned fiancee.

I, the baby, throw up in the bushes. I dont want to see my mother fathers flirting. Thats literally so gross. Tf?????? Right in front of me too. They've really go no decorum.

Chapter Text

“Baby. i have other children.” tide detergent chan tells the baby it just saved from 9/11.

“Whaaaaaattt thats crazzzyyyyy. Are you really just gonna leave me here on the sidewalk?” baby will say, but baby will not say, because its a baby, and babies dont speak.

“Yes.” tide detergent says because it can read telepathically into babys mind. “I literally just saved you from falling out a plane i dunno what you expected.”

“B-but i thought what we had was special… i guess you really never cared about me huh…” baby says in the way that someone would say if you were breaking up with them

“Wwhat im not breaking up with you?!?!!?!?? Youre a baby. Im not a pedophile like some freaks.” tide detergent will say as it looks into the camera. “Im talking about you. You know who you are.”

“Wwelp. Oh well. I guess.” baby smacks its knees and starts to stand up. “Welp.”

“Im bored.” chicken noodle soup chan says excitedly as it will shoot the baby dead because it no longer has plot relavance.

“You cant shoto the baby.” tide deterrgent chan commands halfheartedly because honestly it doesnt care enough.

Chicken noodle soup chan and tide detergent chan take the baby to a silly orphanage because the baby is literally an orphan.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CANT JUST LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE FREAKS!!!!!!!” the baby pleaded. “I have your children.” says babyy whos was acshully police baby “I keep them in the cells. Take me with you if you w-”

Chicken noodle soup chan shoots the baby in front of all the other orphans and leaves the corpse.

“Bro babe literally why did you do that.” tide detergetn will said.

“We have to make a dramatic escape heist for your children atually for the plot” chicken noodle soup chan says.

“Oh yea.” tide detergennt chan senpai said. “But what if it comes back to live from the dead.” tide detergetn suggests

“Nah dude” chickn noddle soup says russianly.

They fly superman style because they are superman over to the local jail cell, ignoring the desperate pleas of the victims of violent crimes and also lex luthor. Garbiel from ultrakill is fighting V1 and they are reaking havoc on the town and killing civliians. Subparman does nothing to stop this.

Mean.

The children rot in jail.

They sit.

“Bro literally our parents are clinical.” says #2

“Likee literally they didnt name us.” will be said by #6

“Thats what im saying bro they cant even count theres only 3 of us.” says #9609876

“Im really glad our parents got custody taken away because they were lowkey freaks bro. They were craaaazzzyyyyyyyy. Did you guys see what they were doing in our bedroom?!!!?!??!?!!?!?!” says #2

“Literally. I did not need to see that.” says #9609876

“We should change the topic before i progectile vomit all over oyu.” says #6

“Lets chabeg our names because our parents suck at being parnets. And didnt name us right.” will say #2

“Im cheezit.” says cheezit.

“Whos cheezit. Who said that.” says #9609876

“Me im cheezit.” says the shadow man. It appears from the shadows. “Im the hat man.”

“Youre the cheezit hat man.” you said (#6 you are #6 now.)

“Yes.” says hat cheeze. “Good bye.”

“That will have no relevance on the plot ever.” you say lyingly. The hat cheeze man is actuually the new main character.

“Ok. im timm with 2 ms. And ive actualyl been a flesh car this entire time.” says timm with 2 ms who used to be #9609876.

“What.. thats literally crazy. I didnt know our parents were cars?!?!!?!?!??!?!?!” says you.

“They arent. Someone cheated i guess i dunno.” says timm with 2 ms as he morphs into a flesh car.

“Woah. im y/n” you say. You used to be #6. Youre actually yes or no on the legal document which is what you says as you change forms into a pile of papers.

You blow away in the wind. There is no wind youre in a basement. You blow away anyways.

“... i guess that leaves the last name to me.” says #2 as it pulls a name out a hat that has just convienieently appeared. “Im tide detergent 2: electric boogaloo.”

“Lets shorten that i dont feel like writing that everytime” says the voice.

“But youre fine with writing tide detergent chan everytime and chicken noodle soup chan?” says a second voice.

“God is fighting again.” says tide detergent 2: electric boogaloo.

Their schoziphrenia is getting to them. The vvoices acshully didnt happen. That wasnt real and also it was canon.

“We will calll you 2” says timm with 2ms.

“Absolutely nothing about my name changed.” will be said by 2.

Mean.

Chicken npoodle soup chan and tide detergnet chan are planing their Epic Hesit ™.

“We should kill the gguards” says bloodthirsty chocken noodle soup senpai.

“Ok.” will be said by people pleaser pushover tide detergent chan. This is poput of character of it because it is just crzy like that i dunno.

“So we kill the guards with my glock attatched to mmy AK-47 attatched to my sawed off shotgun.” chicken detergent says.

“Yes.” said tide soup.

“We mus tmake nyquil chicken first.” says chicken noodle soup chan.

“We can use joe bipens fetus for the broth!!!!!!!!!!” tide detergent chan will say.

“Thats fucking insane.” ckhicken noodle soup chan said. “Youre crazy. We should bgeet married.”

“Ii agree. I love you. I know i jst got divorced like today but we should get eloped right now in stead of saving my children from a jail cell.” tide detergent chan will say.

And off they went to the nearest beautiful beach except they lived in jersey new so they knew that because there are only 49 beautiful states and also jersey newfrom watching a video about the amazing of train that there would be nothing beautiful anywhere near them. They ended up deciding that if theyre going to have to leave jersey new to find anything worth looking at that they might as well leave the country while theyre at it because thats basically the same thing fr.

They got in their supersuits and went overseas to the straits of gibraltar because thats a place. They went on top of the water and kinda just sat there because they can stand perfectly fine on top of the water y’know because theyre plastic and metal soup can and tide detergent bottle. So theyre bobbing in the water and woah do you see that? Theres a fucking boat coming straight for them. They were having such a nice ceremony too. They probably shouldnt have had their wedding in whats the waterway equivalent of a massive highway.

Tide detergent chan tackled chicken noodle soup chan out of the way so it would live to see another day. Chicken noodle soup chan was pushed to the side and desperately called out for tide detergent chan as it was swallowed under the boat. just like that one scene in Titanic.

Chapter Text

Timeskip

The funeral was all chill like that. Red 4,000 and Billy the Cell were having sex in the foreground. Garbeil ultrakill was officiating the wedding that was also at the funeral. Red 40,000 and Billy the cell were getting married at Tide Detergent’s funeral. All the children and guessts invited had to watch as red 400,000 and billy the cell fucked.

Chicken noodle soup cried weepingly over tide detergents casket. The body was fight in front of the “happy” couple at the altar.

“Guys I'm transgender” says tide detergent 2: electric boogaloo. “I need to change my name right here and now. I am no longer 2. This is the best possible time to reveal this at my one parent's wedding and my other parent's funeral.”

“Yes it is. Weren't we in jail 5 seconds agoo? How did we get out? It's giving plot holes and inconsistency.” y/n will say.

“I am now Barbb with 3 bs” says Barbb copycatidly.

“Thats so close to my name” says Timm with 2 ms.

“Its really not actually.” barb with 3 bs.

“Yes it is.” declaridely declares Timm with 2 ms.

“Nuh uh” says Barbb with 3 bs

“Yuh hiuh. I am going to slit your throat and murder you.” timm with 2 ms will be saying

“What even gender are you now. We never had one before?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!” you say.

“Bitch.” barbb with 3 bs says saysidly

“Thaats so crazy. Anyways our mother father iss fucking dead. 😡” >:( says.

“Whop pare you.” y/n said

“This was getting boring and we needed new characters so i am blood related to you now.” will be said by >:( who is a pile of papeers like you ojnce were.

“”Im the cheezit man.” says cheezit hat man.”

“Hes bnack.” sasys talkingly barbb with 3 bs.

“No.” said cheezit man hats.

“Oh.” we all say in unison and cheezit hat man hat shrinks back into the shadows and engulfs the room whole

“I knew someone who wanted to make the hatman pregnant. They were lowkey craaaazxzzyzyyyyyy. You know who you are. I will force you to read this story person i know in real life.”says the voice that we all ignore.

I think we need a flashback now. Its bee na minute. Says god into our brains.

Chicken Noodle Soup looks into tide detergents totally very dead eyes. And watches as they springlock open.

“I thought you were dead?!” Chicken Noodle Soup senpai will say.

“I got better?!?@!!?!?>?!?!?! I'm a very ssoound sleeper.” says Tide Detergent chan awaking from the dead.

“This reminds me of the time Billy The Cell and Red 4,000,000 fucked behind us and you died and came back to life. It's almost the exact same thing. We were in the mines though.” Chicken Noodle Soup chan kun senpai will say.

*~~~~*
Tide Detergent was dead. There was no doubt about it. They died in The Mines. Chicken Noodle Soup was sooo depressed the love of their life was dead and Chicken Noodle Soup didn’t even get to tell them that. Billy the Cell has already moved on Chicken Noodle Soup noticed as Billy the Cell makes out with Red 0.000000004 behind Tide Detergents casket.

“Does anybody want to say anything about the deceased nya” George Washington (The US President) says. In his fishnet legging and miniskirt.

“Not really. They were horrible”, Billy the Cell says while kissing Red 0.00000004.

“Y’know when we first met I tried to kill Tide Detergent-”

“-Reasonable”, says Billy The Cell as it interrupts Chicken Noodle Soup.

“But then after I tried to kill them 17 more times I realized I was in love with them. I — --” Chicken Noodle Soup was abruptly cut off as Tide Noodle Soup was interrupted once again. But this time it was because Tide Detergent started to claw out of their grave like a zombie.

“ YOU'RE ALIVE,” Chicken Noodle Soup and Billy the Cell yell simultaneously.

“I. Was. Just. Sleeping.” Tide Detergent says now fully out of the grave.

“OBJECTION” ,Red 0.0000004 shouts, “I checked your pulse. You were dead.”

“ I am a bottle of fucking tide detergent. WHat did you expect?!? ” Tide detergent counters.

Chapter Text

Finally a day of peace between Tide Detergant and Chicken noodle soap. The disvorse papers were in the trash as the warm cold hot misty breeze was in the air outside of the sewers.

“Why do we live in the sewers? This doesnt seem very sanitary for the dead children we had,” Chiken noodle soup will say vehemently. The moist ground gots on their fuzzy socks, making chicken noodle soup chan shiver with fear of the coldness.

“Nah dude. We don’t live hear” tide dergant said replies.

“Then why are we hrer?!!??5//%?%?5” chitehn noodle soup did n ot say happily.

“Hark! Ye smooth-headed philistine! Cease thy yapping babblings at once you frickity dickity slime-headed cupcake eating bloody twat!” tide detergent combusted on the smooth ground of the hard gravel in the sewer because there is gravel, “We have been formally invited to Donald Lump’s wedding.”

“Wedding?!1/1/1/22” chiken noodle simp senpai chan cries tears old blood out of their alpha wold glowing blue eyes of the true alpha wolf.

“Jk dude. its; actually his funeral.” lil bro tide degent will says.

“Why would you joke about that bro. Not cool” chiken noodle chan simp cry student complained smeamt.

“Weré going. If we dont we are getting a divorse.” tidedergent smeamt back, slamming there fist on the invisble table. They’re fist slammed on the hard table with force as the shock echoed across the sewer.

The threat of another divorse scared Chicken noodle soup chan senpai to there very core of saddness. Theis heart was already been broken by the cruel words of their campion… there only campion; tide dergernt who is apparently trans kind of.
Chiken noodle soup swept a tear from hishertheythems face of disgusted tears. The pain was gnawing at their chest full of broth of soup. They spoke carefully, making sure to get every word right. If they didn’t follow through, it would be yet another disaster on the world. As theyherhim spokes, the words came out smoothingly like a melody, their chan voice being too hard to resist.

“Okay dude” chicken noodle soup chan saids.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish this computer had a neck so i could strangle it.

(s(H))the(y)

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Late in the winter of my seventeenth year, my mother decided I was depressed,
presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same
book over and over, ate infrequently, and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time to
thinking about death.
Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list
depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of
cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying. (Cancer is also a side effect of dying. Almost
everything is, really.) But my mom believed I required treatment, so she took me to see
my Regular Doctor Jim, who agreed that I was veritably swimming in a paralyzing and
totally clinical depression, and that therefore my meds should be adjusted and also I
should attend a weekly Support Group.
This Support Group featured a rotating cast of characters in various states of tumordriven unwellness. Why did the cast rotate? A side effect of dying.
The Support Group, of course, was depressing as hell. It met every Wednesday in the
basement of a stone-walled Episcopal church shaped like a cross. We all sat in a circle
right in the middle of the cross, where the two boards would have met, where the heart of
Jesus would have been.
I noticed this because Patrick, the Support Group Leader and only person over
eighteen in the room, talked about the heart of Jesus every freaking meeting, all about how
we, as young cancer survivors, were sitting right in Christ’s very sacred heart and
whatever” (Green 1).
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have nothing better to do.
This book fucking sucks ass. I hate that book so much bro. It's so bad. The characters are unlikeable. I know they have like cancer or whatever but they did NOT have to be that mean. They were such jerks to each other throughout the entire book and they have no character development at all. They were so flat and while isaac was having a mental fucking breakdown they were like oh my goodddddd augustus stawwwwwp youre so hot and stuff~~~~~. They were so annoying and insensitive to Isaac for no reason. He was literally about to lose his eye and his girlfriend broke up with him because apparently HIM going blind was hard on HER. <3 and that sex scene was so unnecessary bro. What was that they are minors bro. Something about a grown ass 50 year old man writing about a sex scene between 2 minors and one of them was based off a 12 year old girl he knew in REAL LIFE. AND PEOPLE GAVE THEM ALCOHOL?>?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!? YOU'RE KILLING THEM FASTER???? AND THE FAKE SMOKING??? I wonder why your cancer came back. These doctors actually did NOT care about them bro. Those doctors wanted them dead. AND they were on medication??? Alcohol is not fun with meds.

Chapter Text

At the funeral Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent sat in the front row taking selfies with Donals Lumps corpse. They would have taken more picture, but armed guards escorted them to their seats.
“We are gathered here today”, femboy George Washington(the president) began saying, “to mock the life of this bitch.”

“NoOoOOOoooo”Elongated musk and Joe Bipen screamt simultaneously, ”Our alpha, something, something omegaverse”
“Oh isn’t this beautiful”, Tide Detergent said as it drank Elongated Mucks tears

“Truly”, Chicken Noodle Soup replied reminiscingly. As it watched Joe Bipen and ELongated Musk fighting over Lumps remains.

“Y’know this is a very romantic place to be”, Tide Detergent gestured over to the corner of the funeral room were Kalama Harris and Melania Lump were making out,”and I have always loved you ever since you tried to kill me that first time, and I loved you even more the second time and the third time and the fourth time and the fifth time and the sixth time and the seventh time and the eight time and the ninth time and the tenth time and the eleventh time and the twelfth time and the thirteenth time and the fourteenth time and the fifteenth time and the sixteenth time and the seventeenth, and especially the eighteenth time, so I guess what I’m trying to say is will you marry me Chicken Noodle Soup Can Senpia-Chan”

Unfortunately before Chicken Noodle soup could respond it was interrupted by Red 40,000,000 “OBJECTION”. Red 400,000,000 and Billy the Cell were passing through the funeral home for their honeymoon to go to someone else’s funeral and laugh.

But before Red 4,000,000,000 could say anything else Chicken Noodle Soup said, “I do” , and started making out with Tide Detergent. Such blasphemy.

Then while still in the funeral a massive wedding arc dropped from the ceiling. Elongated musk and joe bipen were crushed under the legs of the arc and their blood splattered everywhere and they died. Their final words were “oh my god bro im gonna be with my alpha omega beta omegaverse alpha again!!!!!” It was recorded down on the back of the constitution by Femboy George Washington (the president) (Don’t fact check this).

Then tide detergent and chicken noodle soup chan stepped up to the altar and started graphically making out in front of all of their children and friends and family. And also the funeral goers.
“Oh!” says one of their children i dont remember their names.

The cheezit man appears from the shadows. “Im taking you now.” it literally says to the children, barbb with 2 bs, timm with 2 ms, you, and the papers that flew off into the sunset earlier.

Then suddenly out of nowhere with no warning!!!!! THOMAS JEFFERSON APPEARED!!!!!!

“Whats up chat its me thomas jefferson back again with another hatsune miku binder review. I only wear binders with hatsune miku on the because i love hatsune miku.” says thomas jefferson.

“Oh my god real as hell” says alpha male alexander hamilton as he kisses his omega, john laurens, passionately.

“I love alexander hamilton and how he cheats ion his wife way too much” says omega omegaverse beta omega john luarens.

“Look up the hamilton laurens letter.s This is canon to the lore of real life.” says femboy george washington in his thigh highs.

“I have syphillis” says regular ben franklin.

“We know.” everyone says in unison.

“You got it from me.” says miku binder thomas jefferson. “Im your sugar baby ben frnaklin please remember and giive me money!!!”

“I have dementia.” says ben franklin out of canonly in a way that suggests that he has dementia.

“No please sugar daddy!!!!! I love you!!!! !give me more money for hatsune miku merchandise!!!!” says miku binder thoms jefferson as he gets on his hands and knees and starts praying for miku to come down from the heavens and restore his old ass lovers memory.

Miku arrives fromnm the hevaes. “Hello worshipper.” miku says with her 16 mouths. “I have come to grant you 1 wish becayuuse youve been such a good boy. But first bark for me.”

“BARK BARK” thomas jefferson and john laurens say together. “Oh shit sorry hamilton has conditioned me to bark on command and i sometimes forget whos talking when someone says bark for me” says john laurens the omega.

“HOW DARE YOU BARK FOR SOMEONE ELSE. GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND LICK MY FEET.” says alexander hamilton who somehow lost his ulgy ass shoes and also has a foot fetish.

“Thank you for barking for me” says miku “now what is your wish”

“I wish for my lover benjamin franklin(the real one) to have his memory back so that he will remember that hes my suggar daddy~~~ and hell buy me more hatsune miku merch” says thomas jefferson in his hatsune miku patterned binder while he hands off a comically large bag of cocaine to some people around him. He is a drug dealer.

“I love it when my fans deal drugs. Your wish is granted” says hatsune mike.

“Wow. my memory is back. Cmere sugar baby and let daddy give you money.” says sugar daddy benjamin franklin.

“Ive been cheating on you with alexander hmailton and john laurens.” thomas jefferson says while ben franklin kisses him passionately..

“I care so little its crazy” sasy ben franklin as he stuffs texas pennies in thomas jeffersons miku binder and orders him to start dancing for him.

Alexander hamilton and john laurens are going at it over top of donald lumps corpse.

George washington the femboy watched all of this in horror. “How do you all look your mother in the face after doing this” he says

“I dont.” they all say in unison.

“I have a wife and a daughter that i left in england.”” says john laurens the ogema

“Me too but i didnt leave them. Literally cheating on them for you” says alexander hamilton.

“I killed your son.” says the guy who killed alexander hamiltons son, phillip.

“I killed you!!!!” says aaron burr, “i want to start a new nation in the west and overthrow the USA.”

“Ok go ahead buddy.” says femboy george washington not caring about the uncaring world around him (throwback to when we let IT (the creature) write) as he adjusted his fishnets.

Hastune miku left them all because sshe doesnt wanna watch a bunch of middle aged men fuck at a funeral/wedding.

“I think thats a good place to eend it.” says the voice. Everyone is shot with a massive thunder bolt becasue they were getting a littlle tooooo freaky. They will come back and be alive. Everyones lives HOORAY!!!!!!

“Oh nooooooooo” says everyone who died in unison because theyre all dead but also not dead because they will be back (i always come bakc five night freddy).

“Woah that was crazy” says tide detergent chan to its wife husband chicken noodle soup chan senpai.

“I agree with this statement.” says chicken noodle soap senapi.

“I cant believe the whole time they were all cheating on eachother. That was the best soap opera ive ever watched.” sasy tide detergent hoping for a second season.

“No live seen better. Remember when that time when we were at the restaurant and the waiters started fistfighting and a full brawl broke out between the kitchen and the wait staff? I love waffle house.” says chicken soup noodles.

“I loved when that happened. I wish it would happen more often.” says tide detergent in a funny way.

“Yse.” says chicken noodle soup chan

“We should end the chapter now its getting a littkke long.” tide says breaking the 4th walledly.

Chapter Text

The inbred children waken up at sunset in a boarded house with no windows.

“Wakey Wakey goochy goochy goo” cheezit man will said.

The three children that are not named look around the broken down house. Timm cries like a pussy in the corner of the room while Barbb tries to beat up Cheezit man.

“Mwahahahaha you can’t beat me up children, for you see, I am actually Ulysses S. Grant (The US president).

Timm, barbb, and y/n snap their necks forward at the former presitant who is now alive and dead. They look confesszled at the idea of the amazing Ulssess S Grans kidnapping them in this borded up house?

“Why did you bring us here????????” Timm the wimp says.

“The better question is why wouldn’t I you fellow MORTAL?????!”

Barbb looks at the two and thinks to themselves “Timm is kinda gay ngl. My sibling might be a little fuity bowl”

The cheezit man whos was acshully the ulysses s grant war general will sayys “im the villain now. I am also the main character you said lyingly earlier that i will be unimportant to the story so i will kill you killingly now.”

“wwwwwwwhat “ says pussy timm with 2 ms.

“Thats literally so wild and crazy and like literally i dont give a dam. Percy jackson” says you.

Then percy jackson falls through the ceiling like wonder bread. “Whats up guys im back with another minecrfat video!!!!! I want to go to college. Wheres my girl friend.” says percy jackson.

“Dam thats crazy.” says magnus chase who also appeared like wonder bread. “Im dead.”

“Whoooooow. My favorite book totally fake book characters from percy jackson and the gods of asgard and magnus chase and the olympians.” says the pile of paper. Whpos was acshully john.. The period is opart of his name.

“Oh no its percy jackson and flying talking sword!” says ulysses s. Grant “the blonde bitch isnt dangrerous.”

“What rude.”

“Fruity essence.” says ulysses s grant.

‘“Typical someone says fruity extract and my name comes to mind”(Riordan Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: Ship of the Dead).’ im citing it becasue this is a direct quote says the voice.

Then dan tdm fell through the froof with ldshadowlady, mumbo jumbo, and aphmau. “Chicken jockey” they say in unison before turning into dust and drifting tbhrrough the windows.

“We heard the voice.” everyone says in unison.

“Alex fierro” sasy magnus chase and the gods of asgard.

“The Minecraft Movie is going to be legendary. Absolute cinema. "Flint and steel" and "Chicken Jockey" are such iconic lines that have a supreme impact on the listener. The visuals put all past films to shame; every single one of them. The film industry will be changed FOREVER due to this revolutionary masterpiece. The Minecraft Movie's creatures in the trailers are so realistic that it makes my mouth go agape with surprise every time at the sheer beauty and craft. The casting brings tears of joy to my eyes just seeing the beautiful, breathtaking acting. The theatres will be filled with the thousands with the chance to see this masterpiece of a film. In fact, it's so creative that it can't be even considered to be a film. It is art in it's purist form. People all around the world will be forever impacted by this art that will change our history and our lives.” will say carter kane from the kane chronicles.

"H-how... how could you...?" you said with tears in my big, glowing orbs that stare into not a fed's eyes.
you stand up from my knees looking around in distress. Due to my distraught state, my big blue orbs fill with tears.
"This... this is... a m-mistake..." you says under my feminine breath of womenness not gay man breath.
"This isn't you..!" y/n cried.
As yes or no stand, you turn away from carter kane. The torture that y/n've been put through has finally caught up to me.
"I've..." you start "I've had enough...! Enough of what you're doing... I'm done with your treatment...!!!" y/n screams with shrill terror.
"I'm done..." you cry. "G-goodbye... not a fed... goodbye...." yes or no said with a final breath, walking away from my ex bot carter kane.

You dont like the minecraft movie.

“Woah thats crazy” cheezit grant says.

“Hello Jon, apologies for the deception but i thought it best not to announce myself…”Magnus Chase from the Magnus Institute will say as he reads from a statement that definitely won’t end the world.

“Ragnarok” says alex fierro as he/she says.

“Ronnette, my dear, don't ever disappear
Do what you want as long as you stay here
I need you now, I love you so much, more than you could know
The Christmas kids were nothing but a gift
And love is a tower where all of us can live
You'll change your name or change your mind
And leave this fucked up place behind
But I'll know, I'll know
I'll know, I'll know
I'll know, I'll know
I'll know, I'll know
Appearing unsightly with devils inside me” (Roar).
The voices will sing

“Thanks god” you will say.

Alex and magnus kiss. In a gay homosexual kjiss. Alex is now he him. Ulysses s. Grant is pregnant. He is also cheezit man and hes an omega and he will have cheezit children.

“We will euthanize you, editor.” They all say in unison. “ can we put you donw.

Mean.

While all of that was happening the children managed to escape the -1 circle of hell (cheezit grant’s house) and travel off into the sunset free from all of the horrors mentioned above. Probably.

They really did escape the evil grandparent obby rpooblocx.

Chapter Text

IN THE NEGATIVE FIRASTCIRCLE OF HELL AUGUSTUS WATTERS AND HAZEL WHATS HER FACE WEERE ROTTINGH BECAUSE I HATE THEM.
IN THE NEGATIVE FIRASTCIRCLE OF HELL AUGUSTUS WATTERS AND HAZEL WHATS HER FACE WEERE ROTTINGH BECAUSE I HATE THEM.

Gabriek ultrakill fell througb the celing. There is no celing. Gabriel ultrakill is here to kill v1 or something.

“What babe dont kill me.” says v1.

“Heheheheheh i love murder!” says gabriel ultrakill.

“4x are cjaracters from bfdi which was first published work in 2010. It was created because their math teacher told them to create an animation explainging stuff.So they created “X finds out his value” staring 4 and x. Wow. fire. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhohhhhhhh and theyre queers who use” says gabriel and v1 ultrakill in unison.

“I dont know any other characters from this show.” says carter kane.

“OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE CEILING” says joe biden because he unmerged with gabriel ultrakill because he wanted to be with his alpha omega boyfriend husband alpha again instead of v1 because v1 beats him just a little too muc hand donald lump beats him the right amount. “ITS STEVE AND GARRETT 69ING!!!!!!”

We all watching in horror as steve and garrett divebomb itnto us whole definitely being a sexual innuendo. Luckily the small child wasnt there beccause they were NOT clothed.

They got a silly little clothes upgrade. They ent fromwearing nothing to wearing a 16th century marie antoinette “let them eat cake” ass wigs and dresses.

“Woah dude look at me im literallly looking fire right now. Hola bonjiour. Buenas dias. That means i look great in spanish.” says garrett from the minecraft movie.

“It so totally does not” says magnus chase because that wasnt right.

“I love you bro were so straight and not homosexual” says steve from minercaft.

“I love you too bro lets kiss.” says garret mincraft.

They kissed straightly. And not in a gay way at all. Just 2 bros kissing and getting married and livving together and raising a kid together and moving dimensions for eachother and being gay in a straight way together.

Lump and joe bipen are in hell. Lump looks like his namesake. Jhe is a lump of flesh. I hope he buirns more. Thinks elongated musk because of this flashback that will happen.

Flashback---

Balls boy

Hgfds

I use amazon music because im better than all of you.

"Uwu" donald trump said

"Alpha please" Joe biden pleaded

"No I'm the alpha." Trump orders "get me a coffee bitch." Joe biden crawled on all fours over to the coffee machine.

The omega elon musk walked in. "Hello musky boy. I'm your alpha. Kneel for me." Donald trump demanded. Elon musk got on his knees and began chanting for his alpha. "Yes I am your god." Donald trump declared.

Joe biden crawled back over with the cup of coffee between his teeth. He dropped the coffee at his masters feet and began barking.

"It's the day of your inauguration alpha" musky boy said once he finished chanting.

"Yes it is. It's time for me to reign king." Donald fuck said as he began beating the absolute shit out of Joe biden. It's not an abusive relationship because they both hit eachother.

Donald fuck began walking out of the room to go be inaugurated with his ak 47.

Musky boy and Joe biden look at eachother as they both get up off the floor. "Its time." Joe biden says.

"But I love him he's our alpha." Musky boy says.

"No. Im the alpha now. He's been in power for too long. We must over throw him." Joe biden declares. "Dont worry musky boy. It will all be ok." Joe biden walks out towards trump and on the way he grabs a sniper rifle.

Musky boy is left behind where he will wait for his new alpha to come back. "This time he won't miss." Musky boy says solemnly.

Joe biden gets into position onto of a nearby tower. He looks down the scope of the rifle at his old lovers head. Looking at his alphas scars, Joe biden began to have second thoughts. "I have to remeImber that this is for musky boy." He reassured himself.

He put his finger on the trigger and slowly pulled it.

The bullet flew straight towards donald fucks skull.

Joe biden watched in abject horror as the bullet pierced his former alphas skull. The agents stationed around him ran towards the body. They propped up the dead president and listened emotionlessly as he uttered his final words.

"This really was my hero academia." Donald bitch fuck said.

Joe biden rushed back to musky boy so he would have a viable alibi. At his betas side, the alpha waited patiently to receive the news.

CIA agents rushed in.

"H-he... he's dead..." the CIA said with a singular tear going down one of the man's faces.

"Yes..." *Biden said, a look of determination on his face. "It's time to lead this country to liberty. Without.." he looks to the side," him."

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There were crashing footsteps in the brush now. George turned and looked
toward them.
“Go on, George. When we gonna do it?”
“Gonna do it soon.”
“Me an’ you.”
“You . . . . an’ me. Ever’body gonna be nice to you. Ain’t gonna be no more
trouble. Nobody gonna hurt nobody nor steal from ‘em.”
Lennie said, “I thought you was mad at me, George.”
“No,” said George. “No, Lennie. I ain’t mad. I never been mad, an’ I ain’t
now. That’s a thing I want ya to know.”
The voices came close now. George raised the gun and listened to the voices.
Lennie begged, “Le’s do it now. Le’s get that place now.”
“Sure, right now. I gotta. We gotta.”
And George raised the gun and steadied it, and he brought the muzzle of it
close to the back of Lennie’s head. The hand shook violently, but his face set
and his hand steadied. He pulled the trigger. The crash of the shot rolled up the
hills and rolled down again. Lennie jarred, and then settled slowly forward to
the sand, and he lay without quivering.
George shivered and looked at the gun, and then he threw it from him, back
up on the bank, near the pile of old ashes" (Steinbeck).
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I loved of mice and men” says the voice. “It was great. Read it. Now”

Thay all read of mice and men because a copy dropped into all of their collective hands and they knew without a shadow of a doubt that if they didnt start reading right the firckity frack now they would all spontaneously combust and burn and die.

Mean(Back with Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent(finally))

Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent—

“HOW DARE YOU COURSE CORRECT IWAS IN HEKLL!!!!!!! IT WAS SO GREAT WE SHOULDVE STAYED THERE ITS ONBLY BEEN 14 CHAPTERS SINCE WE SAW THE MAIN CHARACTERs!!!!!!” says the voice tthat no one can hear but also everyone can hear.

“WEELLL YOU CAN ALWAYS GO BACK TO HELLL”says a different voice.

“LIKE NOTHINGS STOPPING YOU FROM GOING UP AND EDITING OR ADDING ANOTHER PART WHILE I WRITE THIS!!!! the different voice adds.”

“I WOILLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!” says the voice (the tv show).

“Wow i love when god speaks up!” says tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan in unison.

“I AM NOT GOD I AM AN ATHIEST!!!!!!!!!!!!” says the voice.

Anyway…Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent have been “happily” married for a month, and they decided they wanted to go on their honeymoon luckly Tide Detergent won tickets to the Titanic. But there was something amiss… there was a topic they have both been avoiding. That being the elephant in the room. The literal elephant in the room.

“Elephant roar” says the elephant.

“Tell me about the rabbits george.” sasy lennie from of mice and men because hes here now.

*~~~~*
“This is your last freakity fracking chance dude. If you fuck it up your editing ppriveleges are gone for good.” sasy the voice as we flashback.

Tide Detergent chan was having a good day. After all, they got married to the beautiful mother/father king/queen (slay) that was Chicken Noodle Soup chan senpai. Their wedding was beautiful and they were still thinking about where the honeymoon they was going. After all, what is more beautiful than seeing Donald Lump’s decomposing corpse because he didn’t miss this time.
“Tide Detergent… has been picked…… unfortunetly…..”

Tide detergent turns it was head around to see a random raffel that it was did not was enter. “But I did not even enter!” Tide detergent smeat dramatically with a rat on top.

“Stfu you bitch (too gendered) you got it anyway take it you ungrateful swine.” yeah

“I lvoe the name of this story its beautiful. Its giving 2010s video game creepypasta. Insert video game character here.exe” says the cheezit man as he blends into the shadows once again.

“Ẅoah!!!! Cheezit man….??!!?!?!?!!?” Tide detergent man them they them said.

“Shhh……. I was never here….” Cheezit Grant says with a finger to his him they his lips before going back into the shadows.

“Okay” not autisitc tide detergent chan says (“not autistic”).

Then… Tide detergent goes an ideah… They he him them maybe she her wife maybe gets ideas (singlular). This titanic ticket could go toward their honeysun. Chicken noodle soup cahn wad the most beautiful wonderful pretty attractive handsome good looking alluring prepossing as pretty as apicture lovely charming delightful nice looking pleasing appealing drop dead gorguage knockout fanicable beddable bonny hot tasty aestetic foxy fit sightly pulchritudinous beaut aritcitis arresting glamorous irresistible lustful lust bewitching beguiling stunning spell binding wondrous extravaganduous magnificent smashing dazzling radiant hot ccock enchanting radium bazzling exquisic angelic heavenly demonic resplendent splendid superb sublime mesmerizing, spouse wife husband lover ungendered wife ungendered husband ungendered spouse partner other half bistcbh smoochems gooby bear lovley pie sweetheart hot babe hot cock (chicken) babe girl boy baby girl baby boy omega alphq bride mate better half worse half nuetral half partner in crime miniater matey balls boy (gender neutral). Chicken nooodle soup chan was the most beautirful soup in the land of chan soups.

End flashback

So now they were at the docks and beginning to board the Titanic and the cheezzit man was back. That’s not immportant right now he went back into the shadow realm. Tide Detergent and Chicken Noodle Soup got to their room. It was a giant room with a giant widow where they can watch the iceburgh hit the ship and watch everyone die. That is also not important right now as they just got to the room and this arc needs to last at least a chapter. Chicken Noodle Soup decided to go and explore the ship while Tide Detergent got food or something idk.

While exploring Chicken Noodle Soup ran into JOHN F. KENEDY!!!!!!!

“BA DA BA BA BA MCDONALDS” sasy JFK.

“Welpidy doo. Whats up former president john f. Kennedey.” says chicken noodle soup chan senpai.

“Im bac kfrom the dead!!!!!!! They ressurected me and kept me in a stasis chamber for many a year. Nbut im back now!!!!!” says jfk saysidly.

“Thats crazy. Wheres your wife.” says chicken noodle swoupp accusedly

“I think she might be dead i dunno i never really cared. Im withh obama, stalin, harry truman, bo burnham, mao zedong, lemon demon, ytaylor swift, the titanic ship, odysseus of ithaca, that sexy stop sign, wild monster melon frozen fruit juice natural watermelon frozen fruit juice, mr. flavour, THE MEAT, joe biden, donald trump, elon musk, vladimir lenin, the beatles, and putin now.” says jfk

“Oh! Are joe biden, elon musk, and donald trump similar to our mortal eenemies joe bipen, elongated musk, and donald lump?” says chicken noodle simp.

“No. who are they i wanna date them.” sasy jfk in a way that makes everyone uncomfortable.

Then joghn f kennedy walks away to get assasinated or somehing. Chicken noodle soup goes to the captain who is charlie buckett from charlie and the factorys grandpa.

“Wassupo gramps whats popping” says gen alpha chicken noodle soupp younginly

“I dont peak that language. Give me chcocle for my grandson who owns a chcolate factory because he was the only kid in the group who wasnt brutally murdered at the charlie and the factory tour.” sasy gramps

“I want to start ww3” sasy chicken noodle soup.

“Do it. I did it before. When i was with lewis and clark i wrote a message to archduke franz ferdinad and told him that i will be afetr him in thhe future. And then i was there and i kill him and apparently that started ww1. So…….. oopsies.” sasy gramps

“Holy shit. Lets get you to bed grandpa your schizophrenia is getting to you.” says tide dteregent in a way that makes you think that theyre a chan senpai

“No…… i gotta drive tthe ship sony boy.!!!!?!??<>.,87770987322hjhgh@#*&()&$(U@$$” says gram ps.

“Youre a shit pilot of the ship.” tide detergent smip/./

“No.” yes says .

“YOUR NAME?!?!?!?!?! HWAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR CELL!!!!!!!!” says gramps to you.

“My child!!!!! Why is my children in the cell???” says chicken sooupo noodle chan senpai kun.

“:they wer baaaaaaaaad” says gramps the sheep/

“Oh ok good.” chicken soup says senpaily.

“I sunck aboard pleas i fucking hate you bitch i hate you youre disgusting i hate you.” says you teenage rebellionly.

“Ok buddy go back to your cell now.” chicken noodle soup chan can senpai kun syasy.

“Were going back in time to the first thanksgiving to get turkeeys OFF THE MENU!!!!!!!” says ccheezit hat man creating a new arc and being a british.

Also theyre all british by the way. “Im gonna make a new language” says the voice.

Then chicken noodle soup leaves the room and walks to the 1st class cell. “Whats up baby babe queer homo babe.” it will syas.

“Sup bitch” tide detergent noodle soup can chciken chan senapi says.

“Lets go to the casino i feel like gambling” says chicken noodle soup galmblingly

“Oh heeeeeeeelll yeaaaaaaa i love me some gambling” sasys tide detergent simp.

Theywent to the casino and lost all their money and got really really really drunk. They played blackjack about 300 timmes before realizing it wascrigged because the dealer could see your card, but you couldnt see the dealers cards.

“Lets play slots.” tide detergent says in a way that makes you think that the slot machines arent rigged.

They played the slot machines until they passedo out and then they kept playing. Ral slots players dont go back to their bedrooms. They play in their sleep.

“All of our money is gone.” says chicken noodle soup chan senpai.

“No it isnt, just dip into the kids college savings account” sasy tide detergent

“Oh my goodness me youre right why didnt i think of that!!!!” chicken noodle soup says britishly.

They walked over to the poker table because obviuosly they know how to play poker and started counting cards.

“Whats up chat im here to count cards because i know how to do that.” says tide detergent chan.

“Good. were all counting cards anyways so who actually cares.” says Obama because he just finished golfing anmd he wanted to wind down by losing all his money.

They played about 300 hands before deciding that they have no fucking clue what theyre doing sp they got up and turned aroud and… ITS THE BEATLES!!!!!

“Whats up im paul mccartney.” says paul mccartney whos was one of the members of the beatles.

“Im john lennon and im transfem. I think john is an etremely feminine name.” says john lennon.

“I thought you died.” sasys tide detergent chan

“Nah bruh the bullet curved and hit JFK instead.” she says.

“WOAH H+JOHN LENNON!!!! IM vladimir LENIN!!!! THE COMMUNIST LEADER!!!!1” says vladimir lenein whos was also achsully tranfem.

“Wow! What a coincidink!” says femiminely john lennon.

“Dude lets start a transfem band and get away from these losers.” syays vladimir lenin because girls go to college to get more knowlegde and boys go to jupiter to get more stupider.

“Wow i completely agree!!!” says john lennon

“Guys dont cancel me im trans too. Im a trans masc and i have transfem friends dont cnacel me pleaaassseeeee” says the voice.

“Bto wanna join our polycule? Im currently with bama, stalin, harry truman, bo burnham, mao zedong, lemon demon, ytaylor swift, the titanic ship, odysseus of ithaca, that sexy stop sign, wild monster melon frozen fruit juice natural watermelon frozen fruit juice, mr. flavour, THE MEAT, joe biden, donald trump, elon musk, JFK, and putin” says vladimir lenin.

“Bro literally im so down.” sasy john lennon as if she wasnt already in the polycule.

Then suddenly as if the writers were running out of ideas because they are, ITS JK ROWLING.

“Ew wtf is this bitch doing here.” says transfem vladimir lenin because shes a transfem comminust and hates terfs.

“Dont worry guys im one of you now. I have fixed my ways and i now live the life you live. Im nonbinary and i go by they/them now. I realized that all my bullshitting was achsully just internalized (externalized) transphobia. I shouldnt have done all that but now ive changed my life around and im back on the right track.” says nonbinary JK Rowling.

“Wow jk rowling thats really woke of you.” says paul mccartney.

“Yes and ive also rewritten the entirety of harry potter to include more trans and qyeer characters because im woke now!” says they them jk rowling.

“Wow thhats so awesome jk rowling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” says tide detergent

“What ever will we do without femboy lover 3000!!!!!” says the voice.

“Dont worry chat i put so many femboys and femboy lover 3000s in the new harry potter.” sasy jk rowling.

“Hashimminibashoobashashashashabadaaaaaa” says chicken noodle soup chan possessedly.

“Oh no its possessed” says tide detergent

“Oh no!!!” says transfem vladimir lenin

“Mes” says mes.

“Ḧi im george washing ton” says george washing ton because hess been here the whole time and nobody realized it. “My name

Chapter Text

“is georga washinton now”says georga wasshinton cut off by the chhapter endingly. This wwas said in a way that makes you believe georgia washington is transgender because she is. “T̈he femboy to transfem pipeline goes crazy” she said

While that was happening TIde Detergent was very Bored so they decided to write Harry Potter fanfiction. Here is an excerpt of it:

*Harry stared into Draco's brilliant green orbs with his own bulging blue orbs with an intensity that could burn the sun. They were in the snake room and the basiilisk was lowkey there Draco wanted it as a pet and Harry, being the good malewife that he is, was going to get it for Draco. Draco was happily watching his pookie get him the basilisk.
“Try not to die my pookie wookie ” Draco enunciated.
“Draco my shmuckems I fear I might die””Harry replied
“Well then try harder my honey kitten”Draco Rereplied *
To be continued….

Holy shit knuckles guys!!!!

A fun human runs by!!!!!!!!!<3

Skibidi Dicord Kitten pops in “whats up chat i fuck robots” they say

“Oh mein gosh thats literally crazy bro” says tide detergent

Skibidi Dicord Kitten screamed in terror as they contorted and transformed. We all watched in abject horror as, just like joe bipen, skibiddi discord kittens arms fused with their body, their legs merged into one, and their head went forward. Their body widened and turned into a gaping hole. Their skin turned to porcelain. “Guys what in the skibidi sigma is happening”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thats spooky.” we all say in unison

“Sk sk skibidi” sasys skibidi discord kitten. They are skibidi toilet 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

*Woosh*
*Glitter Sounds*
:3
*Sailor moon transformation music*
*BADA BA BUM BA BAAA*

~~~~

Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent transformed beautifully into anime magical girls. They then instantly destroyed the first skibidi toilet thing with the power of friendship. “FRIENDship? They are married.” says the vvoice to the other voice.

“Oh no the skibidi toilet virus has broken out on the ship” says charlie bucketts grandpa over the intercom. “Wait shit knuckles is that an iceberg??? Thats ok the titanic is unsinkable”

“Tide detergent chan run back to our room and get the gun.” sasys chicken noodle soup chan as everyone else screamed and ran away.

Tide detergent chan ran back to the room and left chicken noodle soupp chan all alone to fight by itself. Tide detregtnet chan ppanted as it hopped along away from the skibidi toilet zombies.

“Sk sk skibidi” says scythe from phighting

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEYRE ALL SKIBIDI TOILET!!!!!!!” Screams banhammer from phighting as he beat a skibidi toilet ot death with his massive hammer.

“I didnt know phighting was real” says biitch tide detergent chan because it never played phighting roblox because it is canonically 1776.

“Dont worry chat ill save you” says medkit sasyidly as he heals all his friends with his medicine gun. I dont know how any of these characters act i only play the game i dont know the lore.

Subspace comes into battle and starts doing whatever subspace does i dunno i main that robot guy. Literally have never used a different character so i dont know what they do. (vent)

Then suddenly all the phighting characters were there and they were battling the skibidi toilets but they were being over powered by the sheer force of the skibidi toilet army.

“Oh no i have to use my ultra mega alpha powers or else all will be lost” tide detergent chan senpai says.

Tide detergent chan swooped dramaticllty into the air with magic wings from the magical girl transformation earlier. Tide detergent chan took out its magical girl staff and shot down all the skibiddi toileits from tis place in the sky.

They were still being overpowered however because they were missing the only people who could save everyones lives: the cast of hit anime gakuen handsome.

“I knew we would need gakuen handsome someday” says chicken noodle soup chan as it looked lovingkly up at its husband wife affair partner in the sky. “Im never getting that gun am i”

Chicken noodle soup chan decided that the only way to win the skibidi toilet wars was to find gakuen handsome and overcome the skibidi toilet. As it came to this realization it also came to another realization: “Im gonna fucking die.” chicken noodle soup chan said dyingly.

It had not weapon. and was soverpowered by the skibidi toilets 20 to 1. Unless it got reinforcements and a gun right now, chicken noodle soup chan would xdie without ever finsishing their honeymoon with tide detergent chan the lovely tide detergent chan

“i love you tide detergent chan” chicken noodle soup chan said as its final words.

But suddenly and the toilets finally started crowding ontop of chicken noodle soup chan, there was a massive blast of energy and the toilets were thrown away. Chicken noodle soup pchan looked around and saw that signature, beautiful, long, chin and those nonexistent eyes.

“Did someone say gakuen handsome” says the main character off gakuen handsome bithcedly and cringely.

“No.” says chicken noodle soup chan because it did.

“Welp i know that were the only ones who can save the ship so….. I dont give a dam.” says the super model in nothing but his beautiful thong.

“Put yo dick away bro” says the other one with the ugly ass karen blue hair. The nerd. “If you keep up this preposterous behaviour i will have no chooice but to report you to the administration” he says

“Dam thats so crazy. Main character please date me and wear a thong with me i love you” says purple hair bithc

“I love you too lets go on honeymoon with chicen noodle soup chan and tide detergent chan because were best friends” says the main character of gakuen handsome the hit anime tv show and movie.

“But of course. But first we must kill all these skibidi toilets” says purple who got friendzoned before getting proposed to a honeymoon with another couple.

Mr. creepy pervert grabbed his creepy pervert gun and strated blasting through all of the toilets. With the power of friendship and gakuen handsome the toilet were easily being overpowered.

As the toilets drew their last breaths they said “sk sk skibidi” in a way that makes you sad and mournful.

Thankfully, an iceberg hit the ship and it began to sink as it sank Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent flew off of the sinking ship superman style with there magical girl powers. And watched as that ship and all that still lay on it sink to the -1th circle of hell. “I can't wait to go back to the negative first circle of hell” says the voice that no one acknowledges and isnt real and was never even there to begin with.

The children also escaped at some point idk they can shapeshift. They’ll be fineeee.

THIS WAS WHERE THE CHAPTER WAS SUPPOSED TO END, a different voice announces.

“Wait bro how do you feel about touching” says my real life friend in the middle of geometry class.

As tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan fell to the depths in the murky british water they watched the titanic sink. The 2 life boats were deployed and the few people who could fit got in. Everyone else watching in terror as the ship filled with water and they were submerged below the ice.

“Hoyl shit I did that?” says the ice beerg.

Tide detergnet chan and chicken noodle soup chan bobbed to the surface of the water and climbed into the lifeboat.

“Whats up tide detergent and chicken noodle soup chans!!!!!! Itsa me, banhammer!” says banhammer from phighting.

“I want to be embedded in your massive tits platonically.” says timm with 2 ms.

“Im glad youre comign to terms with your homosexuality, brithwer” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Dam they all hot as hell fr fr” you say magicallys.

“Our children are almost as bad as us.” says tide detegent chan to their wife husband, chickne noodle soup chan.

“Good. were perfectin every possible way and theres nothing better than us” says chicken noodle soup chan narcissisticly.

“Yo back off my man queer” says medkit homophobicly even though he himself is one of them queers.

“Damn those queers coming between me and being embedded in another mans massive fucking tits.” the flesh car timm with 2 ms said.

“Yall are fucking weird” bbarb with 3 bs says aromantic asexually.

“I knew we needed some representation around here” says gabriel as he yet again descends from the heavens. “As a trans man i beielve we should add more queer characters to stories because the media, tv shows, movies, and books are often the first places kids hear about this type of stuff and it prevents a lot of internalized hmophobia later in life. If they know that being apart of the lgbtq+ community is fine and dandy now, then they will be more willing to accept themselves and tohers in the future”

“I fully and wholehearyedly agree. Hollywood is just too much of a bitch to do anything about it” says v1 queerily.

“This must be the one thing we agree on machine” gabriel replies as he tckles v1 in an attempt to kill the machine but he does it in a sexual manner that makes you think they are very dating and are in fact a sexual injuendo like steve and garrett garrison.

Speaking of steve and garrett garrison, they fly in again through thesky while 69ing on hteir elytras in fornt of the children this time. They have come up from hell and are having ultra megaa sex.

“Thank you gabriel ultrakill, thnaks to you i realized that i am not in fact a straight man, but am actually incredibly gay for garrett garrison.” says steve minecraft movie

“We are getting married in the fall would you like to come to our weedding?” says garrett garrison.

“Of course.”we all say in unison. “We would be honoored to attend your wedding”

“I am on my honeymoon with my chicken noodle soup chan. I reallly wanted to honeymoon on the titantic , but it is deep under the sea now.” says tide detergent chan watching the titanics final inches slip under the waves.

“That will not be a problem, tide detergent chan, for i used to be Joe bipen and i will use my presidential super powers to bring the titanic back from the depths and put it back on the water.” says gabriel ultrakill. Gabriel ultrakill and v1 were also having mega sex but thy concealed it by pretending that they were actually fighting. Phighting.

Gabriel ultrakill brought the ship out of the water and then he and v1 went back to hell to continue fighting and plannning their ultrasex wedding.

Everyone boarded the ship of a second time and went back to their usual activities.

“Welp i dont thin kwere needed anymore fiancee” said purple haird gakuen handsome and he took his entire class, teahcer, and that creepy pervert and flew off into the sunset.

Chicken noodle soup chan and tide detergent chan sat back at the poker tbale. “Chat i got a flush” says tide detegrnet chan while defiantely not havign a flush. They dont know how to play ppoker.

“Aw shit knuckles i lost” says chicken noodle soup chan as it stripped off its clothes. It was playing strip poker.

Everyone simultaniously looked over to the bar and saw infected and lampert from regretevator drinking cocktails on a date or somthing. “This is for you real life friend number 1 whoo asked me how i feel about touching” says the nonexistant voice.

“Wu# 0# c#@t. T#3y f0und u$.” says infected on the run from the lawedly.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” says lampert beacause there are so many germs and he was just nearly drowned in freezing waater.

“Your speach is illegible.” says chicken noodke soup chan from across the room from infected because who can hear someone clearly from 3 miles away??? The ship is 9 miles long.. Its right thiough hes unintelligible.

“I dont speak miles get that shit out of freedom units” says tide detergent to chicken noodle soup because it heaard through the 4th wall and assumed it was coming from its wife husband.

“I didnt sauy shit bitch.” says chicken noodle soup chan kindly.

“Holy shit guys its time for the ass shaking battle in the arena.” says banhammer with timm with 2 ms the fleshcar embedded in his tits.

“I wanna be embedded too :(“ \says ROBOBANGER6969.

“Ew that sounds very un sanitary” says lampert to infected.

“sh@k3 d@t @ss.” says infected while wearing his griefer cosplay for halloween. It is april.

The gang walked over to the gladiator arena to witness the ass shaking competition. Once the gang was in place to abotage any contestaants they didnt like everyone else walked in, you know, the characters that are actually in the story, chicken noodkle soup chan, tide detergent chan, their kids, billy the cell, red 40,000,000,000, the cast of phighting, and everyone from regretevator. Oh yea and also that weird ass polycule i made with literally evrything i oculd possibly think of.

“Whos the gang thenn?” You ask, because y/n can break the 4th wall now with their mega ultra sigma alpha main character self insert oc ass powers. Bros a mary sure frfr.

“‘None yo dam business’ says the voice because the gang actually isnt real and never was and nothing will happenn with that at all which is not true because the cheeseit hat man whos was achsully ulysses s grant handed over main characetrship to the gang. So they are the maincharacter now.” says cecil gerschwin plamer from the hti podcast Welcome to Nightvale.

“WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST ENDED THE CHAPTER WHERE I ORIGINALLY PUT THE END OF IT!!!!!!”, Screams a different voice possibly multiple hours late and unable to prevent the extra events that took place.

Chapter Text

In the arena, all the contestants were lined up. Tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan looked down upon them and saw infected, lampert, Mach, Sebastian solace from pressure, bive, dr retro, folly, fish, flesh cousin, gnarpy, jermbo, linus, mannequin mark, melanie, mozelle, nill, party noob (poop), pest, pilby, peter, prototype, reddy, RAT, scag, split, spud!, stat, unpleasent, wallter, buck, clover, doug, enphoso, jeremy, rockmen, scary mike, the cashier, toothy and toothette, barb, bugbo, crem, emerson, richard, slimyim, swibble dib, vinny yum zliplie, mannequins, mr, and glevil, who are literally every single person who can enter the elevator in the roblox video game Regretavtor.

“W0@H T#@T$ M3!!!!” says Infected to lampert because he saw himself and he wasnt aware that he had done binary fission today.

“You are filthy.” says lampert because as a germophobe, he must always point out how everyone around him is digusting as fuck and infected took a bath in the garbage dump tooday.

Tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan sat down in their seats to watch the show. “Wow this is gonna be really shit i think. That guy looks like he didnt even wash his ass.” tide detergent says about every single contestant.

“Let the ass shaking fights begin!!!!!” says valk and dom from Phigting.

As expected, everyone in the arena bent over and shot bullets out of their asses at eachother. Unexpectedly, no one hsook their asses because they were all too focused on killing eachother with their shit guns. Expectedly, they were all covered in a mountain of shit because no one washed their ass this morning.

“This is disgusting” says chicken noodle soup chan. “Why did they write this???” it says breaking the 4th wall.

I dont know. Im regretting it now i think. Regret. Regretevator. I dont regret shit.

When one of the contestants pulled an automated mahcine gun turret out of their ass, thats when everyone knew that they were going to die. Boombox from pgihhting turned on his boombox and started twerking to the beat to make up foor the lack of ass shaking in the arena. Most everyone was promptly shot down by the machine gun turret. The people left all simultaneously got on the ground and started doing the worm. The person who pulled out the machine gun turret, mach, shot one of the worms in the face, that was scag.

Protoype turned into a spicy book worm and slid off to the library to wiggle on the ground and look for spicy books. “Oooo romance! Thats spicy! Im looking for some spicy book reccomendations for a spicy book worm!!!” they said as they wiggled and crawled on the floor of the library.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” all the library goers unreasonably scrramed in fear.

Infected and lampert watched their binary fission clones die horribly.

Then suddenly, to put a stop to this maddness, ITS GRIEFER FROM BLOCK TALES!!!!!!!!!

“Aaaaa@@@aaa@aaaa !m the pl@nt.” says griefer block tales to his elderly father who he tied up while throwing a tantrum.

Griefer turrned into the plant and started ripping apart all of the contestants. He really hates it when people shake their asses and have fun smh my head. :eye roll: :bored:

“Kids these days” says kitchen wizard.

“HEAR ME OUT” says kitechn wizard lover 3000.

“And now the weather.” says cecil gerschwin palmer.

Eeeeeeeeee ba da ba ba buuuuuh

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr babababa

Schweeeeeeepoooooooooooooo mary had a little lamb

Little lamb little lamb

Black sheep blacck sheepp have you any wool

No sir no sir uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear

Happy birthday to you

Waiting foor the bus in the rain

Im im waiting for the bus in the rain

Waiting for the bus in the rain

Ima waiting for the bus in the rain

Everyone awoke from the trance they were awkardly put under when the weather came on and got back to their normally scheduled content.

Griefer killed his father and pulled out the blicky on the crowd. Everyone dropped to the floor in complete and totalt silence. You could hear a pindrop.

Suddenly, kitechne wizard was heard beating the shit our of geirfer and he took the gun and shot griefer 9484286478634973 tiimes iin the chest.

But wait! Its CARL FROM LLAMAS IN HATS!!!!

“Gimme them hands. I want them hands” says carl

“Caaaaaaaaaaaaarlllllllll” says paul who carl though was a girl and now has some pictures to delete from his computer. Thats gay as hell carl.

Kitchen wizard fearfully handed over all the hands and everyone got in a massive line to begin taking off their hands and feeding them to their new overlord god.

“Caaaaaaaaaaaarllllllllll” says paul disapprovingly.

“Yes paul.” calr

“Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarlllllllllllllllllllll” paul saysing talk

Then when all the hands were collected, carl and paul went off into the sky and flew away to go cayse more havoc and to disaprove of carls havoc causing.

“Im a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. I dont know how you keeop forgetting that.” says carl to paull

“Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarllllllllllllllllllllll” paulita says as they fly away on the meat monster dragon made of orphan meat.

Then cool ranch doritoes and the purple doritoes crashed the party. They were pormptly eeaten by the mob of handless spectators. Not the cool ranch doritoes though because those suck ass and no one would eat them if they were starving on a desert island and that was all they had to eat.

“Cool ranch doritoes gained sentiencee. “ saiod cecil gerschwin palmer as he ate the cool ranch doritoes because hes crazy enoguh to like that shit. How did this bitch survive fashion week actually. Those fits were NOT fire.

Griefer and kitchen wizard continued their tussle and kitchen wizard used his magic kitchen poweers to make a kitchen.

“Bake off time!!!!!!!!!!!!!” says tide detergent chan and chicken noodle ssoup chan in unison

They were all bored so the most accomplished bakers joined the fun.

y/n got stationed at theeir kitchen in front of the judges table comprised of their entire family, billy the cell, red 400,000,000,000, timm with 2 ms, bbarb with 3 bs, tide detergent chan, chicken noodle soup chan, and the papers because they had split off from the papers through binary fission.

Kitchen wizard and griefer prepared their stations and they were all given their tasks. “You all must bake the best cosmic brownies the world has ever seen using these ingredietns” said chicken noodle soup chan as ingredients appeared on the tablee in front of them all.

You goto to work baking these cosmic brownies. You looked around yourself astounded at the pace all the other contestants were taking. It felt as if they were all going much faster than you and you were falling behind. “Thats ok its about perfection not speed” you assured yourself.

You set out your pans and began formulating a recipe. You know that it really must be perect for your family will judge you much harsher than the rest of the contestants. You always felt like the odd one out, the hated child, if you will. Its no wonder you got the worst name of the bunch. The rest of your siblings names had just been single digits, but your name had been absurdly long and hard it pronounce (this is untrue you used to be named 6. You are lying for a better backstory). It had always made you stick out and be the center of bullying in school.

You resented your parents for that. You bleived that that had named you with malicious intent and they had hated you since you were born from their bodies and they found out that you were not blood related to anyone in the family in any way. It had always pissed you off that the queen had given you up to adoption and put you out in the world with this family.

Being the pricne princess had its perks of course. The transformation into the alpha wolf galaxy princess prince was always amazing. The magical girl powers were wonderful, but it came with a price, the love of your family. You were always the hated child turned galaxy aloha wolf boy princess.

You realized you were getting lost in though and you really had to get to baking. Yu had to use every weapon at your disposal. You began formulating plans to sabotage the other contestants. You knew you couldnt win this thing with the time you had left after your internal monolouge took over, so as you stirred the batter and poured it into the pan, you readied your ultimate weapon.

“y/n what are you doing?” its your crush! Timm with 2 ms always tried to take him from you, but you just couldnt let him get away. You didnt care that he was gay as fuck, you just wanted him to love YOU. you wanted him to love you and only you.

“N n n n n n n n nothing, a a a a a a alpha…” you stammered. Fuck that was so embarrassing! Why cant you just keep your composure around him? You mentally scold yourslf for your behavviour.

“Well get back to workk, y/n” your alpha crush sigma wolf barks at you. Hes so hot you think. You get back to work and finish prepping the chocolate drizzle. You knew you had to impress issaac newton with your amazing cosmic brownie making skills. You would say youve been training for this your entire life, but thats not true. Youve never baked before in all you 17 years. This was the first time youve even seen an oven. Youre just a natural apparnetly. Just like with everything else. Youre just good at everything.

You had just added the final finishing touches as the judges called time. You prayed to your god, isaac newton, that you would win and prove to him that youre his one true love. You headed over tto the judges table and laid down your dish proudly. Its anonymous, so yourr family couldnt possibly screw you over. You had decided not to use your super ultra mega weapon because isaac newton had seemed displeased while you made it. You only want to please alpha isaac newton.

You had been lost in thought and finally snapped out of it as the judges approached your dish. “This is the best thing ive ever eaten. This must have been crafted by the best master chef in the land. No one with no experience could possibly have baked this. This may be the most decadent food to have ever graced my tounge.” they all said in unison.

You contained your joy until they finished the last plate and annoucned to winner. They turned aroudn the card in front of your plate and announced that you were the true alpha skibidi sigma bbaker and you would be the next british bake off chef for the king and queens palace. You jumped for joy and ran over to isaac newton to announce to him that you had won.

“Isaac isaac alpha!!! Did you see you must surely love me now!” you screamed

“Who the fuck are you? Wait are you timm with 2 ms brother sister? Thats my boyfriend. You know im gay right?” he replied

Your face ffell “NO NO NO NO NO IDONT CAARE TIMM WITH 2 MS IS ALWAYS TRYING TO TAKE MY THINGS FORM ME YOURE MINE BE WITH ME LVOE ME PLEASRE!!!!!!” you screamed reasonably.

“Oh hell no what the fuck is wrong with you y/n?” your brother, timm with 2 ms yelled.

“HES MIIIIIINENEEEEEEE!!!!!” you screamed as you were dragged away to solitary confinement.

“I thought we raised them better than that.” tide detergnet said to its ex husband wife, billy the cell.

Chapter Text

“G g guys?!?!?!” says charlie bucketts grandpa who will be sinkign the titanic and startign ww2. “Erm weve got a problem-”

“Fuck this guy hes gonna get us all killed” says chicken noodle soup

It was right because as they all looked ahead, they saw a massive iceberg AGAIN

“Oh no if we all die how am i gonna have an orgy with my poly cule???” says obama.

“Dont worry weve got you” says the entire polycule as they appear from the shadows. Its jfk, stalin, harry truman, bo burnham, mao zedong, lemon demon, taylor swift, oodysseus of ithaca, a stop sign, wild monster melon frozen ffruit juice natural watermelon frozen fruit juice, mr. flavour, THE MEAT, joe biden, donald trump, putin, elon musk, vladimir lenin, and the beatles. They have also added another member of their poly culle and that person is the ship theyre all standing on, the titanic.

They all have mega ultrasex in front of the entire population of the ship and crew.

“Hey thats out thing!!!! Hoowre you even fucking a ship?!?!?!!??!?!??” says gabriel ultrakill.

I dunno they just do. Maybe its the shock factor of seeign this out in public in front of everyone, but charlie bucketts grandpa completely just rams straight into the iceberg. Probably tto kill himself. I would too, most reasonable reaction.

“Tell my grandson, charlie, that he really needs to stop dating that factory” says gramps.

“No. love is love you old ass bitch” says chicken noodle soup chan kindly.

They all watch as the ship sinks to the bottom of the harbbor while theyre still on ti and they see as the entire polycule gets in a wide circle and starts touching their knuckles together to unlease their super mega power and save everyones lives.

There is a massive blast and evryone is shot oout oof the water and they all float there for a secondd before anotheer blast comes to kill them all.

“I did that shit to END this arc. Sink bro were done with the titanic.” says the voice whos was acshully our self insert character. Only 1 person is writing this.

They all died in a horrible firey accidnet except our main characters of course they have plot armour.

“Shout outto the first person who bookmarked our story we love the support and our first commentor we love you guys!!!!!!” says cecil gerschwin palmer.

“Aslo shout out 50 pages on our google doc what a landmark cant wait to post to the to add section because its 3 pages long.” says the voice we all collectively ignoore.

In the lifeboats that have conviniently spawned in, tide detergent sats with its family. Billy the cell and red 4,000,000,000,000 are there sadly.

“Wanna get back together this guys a bitch.” billy the cell asked tide detergent chan

“Hell no im in a happy healthy relationship now. All our abuse is verbal and consentual.” says tide detergent chan

“What the fuck.” billy the cell says judgmentally

“Llets get out of here pookie” red 40,000,000,000,000 sayys to billy the cell who they just recently married after having had an affair with it for approximately 199 years which is longer than tide detergent and billy the ceklls entire relationship lasted.

“I hate this fucking family” says bbarb with 3 bs. “Im cutting you all off except ffor timm with 2 ms and y/n even though theyre fucking crazy” she screamed.

“Wait youre a girl?” timm with 2 ms said.

“Yea. i told you im transgender.” bbarb with 3 bs said shaking her long lucios locks that she spawned in with her magical girl powers.

“Oh yea.” said timm with 2 ms who forgot that gender was a thing for a second (real as hell)

“Kids these days” says chicken noodle soup chan

“Fuck off step mother father. Youve both been absent for our entire childhoods i do not give a dam what either of you think.” says bbarb with 3 bs because shes a badass and we all love her.

“Yea what she said” says timm with 2 ms to support his sister.

“Dam thats crazy skill issue frfr” sasys tide detergetn chan to diffuse the situation

Then suddenly there was a robot in the boat. “Hello.” says zane ninjago

“Holy shit its zane ninjago form the hit tv series lego ninjago!!!!!” says timm with 2 ms because he had a massive crush on zane ninjago growing upp

“Dam thats crazy. Yknow i always hated the trope where they have the robotic character be autism cooded, but honestly zane had more personality than most autistic characters in modern media. I think he was a good way to explain low support needs autism to small kids, even though he was a robot.” says bbarb with 3 bs autistically

Then zane ninjago said “ninjago” and ninjagoed all over the place. And then he was gone.

“Dam that crazy. I am not autistic.” says tide dettergent chan autistically.

“I think you are. You should get you a diagnosis” says its husbband wife, chicken noodle soup chan as it ppulled out a pregancny test.

They all used their super mega ultra powers to tleport to a hotel instead of staying in the middle of the ocean.

Tide detergent chan pissed on the pregancy test and HOLY SHIT THERE 4 LINES!!!!!!!!!

“Dam thats crazy. Thats means youre autistic. You got the autistic piss frfr” says chicken noodle soup chan.

“It also means its pregnant” says bbarb with 3 bs unhelpfully.

“I do NOT want more children. Look how well i did with the last batch.” says tide detergent chan

“If you have anymore kids that wont be a family itll be a ,litter” chicken noodle soup chan said funnily.

~~~~~~~~~~Flash Forward~~~~~~ :O ~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Some time in the future with the children~~

The kids have all moved into an apartment together. Despite it being extremely cheap because Timm with 2 ms killed replaced the landlord so none of them have to actually, not that they were going to anyway.

You were fine with this all things considered. Sure Timm with 2 ms was dating Issac Newton but that's fine you have decided to move on and settle for someone else (no you haven’t he *will* be yours someday.

The others don’t hate you as much anymore. Even though everyone has decided to cut contact with you after 9/11 part 2, but you really didn’t have much to do with that. I mean you only destroy half of the towers with your magical space alpha wolf princess prince magic after all. But that was in the past.

Anyways Timm with 2 ms was currently out on a date with Issac Newton >:(. And barbb with 3 bs had her friend Zane from Ninjago over and they were currently planning something idk. So you were out of the apartment wondering the streets of Newer York City. When all of a sudden a magical princess falls from the sky and directly into your arms.

“Who’th are tho”, the princess says pricessly and shakespearily.

“I’m y/n. Where tf did you come from?”,you reply rudely as you drop the princess on the ground.

“I cometh from a magical place of wonder and mystery. Are you the one who is destined to break the curse on my kingdom. ”

“Uuuuhhhhh”, you reply dumbly, “Maybe man idk the last curse I tried to break ended up causing 9/11 part 2, sooooo probably not”.

‘Dam this gals a bitch. Who just asks someone about the prophecies they are apart. I mean seriously take me out to dinner first.’ you think.
“But my kingdom. It needs a savior. It needs someone to break the curse. That person can be y-you y/n”the princess pleads pleadily.

“That really seems like a you problem, lady” you reply while trying to get out of this conversation. Finding no way to naturally exit the conversation you run away. You are much faster than the princess because her long puffy dress and high heels slows her down.

You are able to make it back to your apartment and decide to chill for a bit in your room. Barbb with 3 bs is in the living room watching Pretty Little Liars with Timm with 2 ms as they try to solve the mystery of that show which is like really weird in retrospective like I kinda remember it being transphobic idk I swear there was a plotline like that and one of the main relationships was a teacher x a student and the final episode literally had an evil twin that was never mentioned before like wtf. Then all of a sudden you hear a knock on the door, you listen carefully from your room and can hear the conversation.

“Greetings. I am here to look for the one who can break the curse and save my kingdom, do you know anyone who can do that?”, says the princess who somehow found her way to the apartment.

“Nope. I mean there is y/n, but our mother fathers forbade them from doing anything prophecy related after 9/11 part 2, ” Barbb with 3 bs informs the princess.

“Oh that is Perfect, they are just who I am looking for,” the princess says saysidly

“Did you NOT hear what I just said? I said they can’t do prophecies anymore!”, Barbb with 3 bs says getting quite annoyed with the princess.

“Well then if you won’t help me then I guess I’ll just have to get the curse breaker my way”, the princess says threateningly and then the princess starts to sing.

“What are you—” Barbb with 3 bs was interrupted by an army of woodland creatures.

You decide that it is now time to intervene and go out of your room to face the music. You quickly transform into your Super Alpha Space Princess Wolf Prince form and Barbb with 3 bs does a magical girl transformation while Timm with 2 ms watches with popcorn.

“Timm you bitch”, Barbb with 3 bs shrieks,“ Fucking Help us”, she adds while hitting a squirrel with her magical girl gun.

Timm with 2 ms does not ,in fact, help them.
You decide to blast the princess with a beam of space friendship magic and she is instantly eviscerated. You're a tad disappointed after all, maybe it would have been fun to do another prophecy, maybe that would’ve been able to take your mind off of Issac Newton. Oh well you can always bother Timm with 2 ms. It won’t be long before Timm gets bored of Issac and then You can have your favorite scientist.

~~~Back to the current Time~~~

While chicken noodle soup chan and tide detergent chan were talking abbout how they will abort their baby after roe v wade was over turned, timm with 2 ms, bbarb with 3 bs, and Zane from Ninjago were out causing havoc.

Isxac newton had fucked off to go hang with eyeless isxac from the fault in our stars. They were lamenting over how gravity exists and isxac newton was talking about how he needs to get to uninventing gravity so everyone can go back to floating around in the vast void of space.

“Ninjago” zane from ninjago said before ninjagoing all over the place.

“Guys we should go kill all the supreme ccourt justices and return roe v wade” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Lets get politcal” says timm with 2 ms to the tune of “lets get physical”.

“Ninjago” zane from ninjago says ninjagoedly.

“Ninjago” says kai, lloyd, jay, and cole from ninjago.

“Ninjago!!!” says zane from ninjago excitedly.

“NINJAGO!!!!!!!!” they all say in unison while pixal watches on. They proceed to jump up, kick back, whip around, and spin.

“Ok then” says timm with 2 ms because hes a bitch ninjao hater.

“Im going to go to the supreme court now then” says bbarb with 3 bs as she grabs timm with 2 ms by the side mirror and teleports to washington DC, leaving the ninjagos behind.

Chapter Text

“So what’s gonna happen”, a different voice says to no one.

“Theyre boutta kill the supreme court for overturning roe v wade obviously” says a voice.

“What are their names?” a different voice asks

“I dont frickity fracking know. Ill look it up and copy paste the ai over veiw. I dont care nearly enough to actually research for a good answwer. In the 2022 Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization decision, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. The five justices who voted to overturn Roe v. Wade were: Samuel A. Alito Jr., Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett.” says the second voice. “Lets butcher their names.”

“Yesssss”a different voice says,”And Im gonna work on my study guide now”

“What self respecting woman would willingly remove womens bodily autonomy??? Amys a bitch. Lets ccall her bitch. How fucking dare you do your school work like a good student. Kids these days.” says the second voice.

“I’ll be watching you edit don’t worry”, a different voice finishes before going back to their study Guide

“Awwwwww thats not creepy at all.” says voice number 2.

Timm with 2 ms and bbarb with 3 bs heard all of that but are forced by an outtside ppower to ignore it and continue with their day.

“Lets go murder shrimp A Alito, Clearence aisle thomas, Neil Goresuck, Break his bones Kavanaugh, and Amy traffic cones Bitch.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“WAIT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO YOUR MATH HOMEWORK”A different voice screams the other voice as a reminder. “Hell no. who do you think i am”

“I agree i love murder” says timm with 2 ms jokingly but also not jokingly.

They skip joyously down to the supreme courthouse with their pump action rifles and sawed off shotguns.

“Wait shit knuckles, i forgot ammo.” says timm with 2 ms incompetently.

“You bitch(too gendered).” says barbb with 3 bs.

They skip off angrily to the gun ammo sstore. They take the best trip of their life and see the most magnificent thing anyone could ever possibly see.

Its THE WHEEL!!!!!!!!!

“Oh my goodness gracious someone stole a bike frame from this wheel.” says timm with 2 ms like a nerd while breaking out into hysterical laughter.

“oh my god we need a picture” says barbb with 3 bs getting down on the ground to take a picture of the wheel.

“BRO!!!!! GROUP PHOTO WITH THE WHEEL!!!!!” says , timm with 2 ms, the only male character weave ever made.

“BRO YOURE LITRERALLY SO RIGHT WE MUST SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!” says barbb the 3 bs who is one of 2 characters with a defined gender.

They take out their massive wall connected telephones and take selfies with the wheel. They turn around to wa;k away and….

Theres A BRICK!!!!!!!!!!!

“Guys guys guys” timm with 2 ms says to 1 person who is not a guy, “we need a brick oh my goodness the brick we need them”

They take hilarious selfies with the brick and steal them to hopefully break into a building later.

As they walk away they run into a group of pedestrians and spread the word of the wheel. “CHAT THERES A WHEEL COME LOOK AT THE WHEEL WE HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU!!!!!” says barbb with 3 bs.

Like idiots, they random pedestrians followed close behind and beheld the magnificence of the wheel.
-dang this is the most self insert we have gotten -i promised real life friend #1 I would add the wheel so we could spread the word to more people.

“All hail the mighty wheel. All hail.” they all say in unison, entranced by the wheels mighty power.

The wheel then started floating because it had finally absorbed enough power from passersby worshiping it that it became a real god.

“Finally. With your help i have ascended to godhood. Goodbye mortals.” said thee wheel as it floated into heaven.

“Wow, mighty wheel how will we honor and worship you?” says the crowd in unison.

“You shall all wear necklaces with wheels on them to show the public that you follow the wheel. Spread the word. Tell everyone about my magnificence.” the wheel declared declaringly.

Someone had started recordinbg with their wall atatched telephone so the world could see the wonders tof the wheel.

Bbarb with 3 bs immediately began posting about her experience on the phone app, you know the one where you can make calls and add contacts and nothing else? She uses thaqat as social media because she can.

“Chat,” barbb with 3 bs said to her phone app twitch stream of 0 viewers, “i just saw the wheel.”

“The wheel the wheel the wheel” says the world in unison. “Armageddon has begun. The wheel (true god) has ascended. The world is coming to an end. The true god has left us behindon this mortal plane and our world as we know it cannot eexist without our beloved wheel”

Then suddenly, barbb with 3 bs realized that she would have to find the wheel and brign it back down to earth so the world would be saved (and so they can kill the supreme court justices) and the prophecy had begun finally.

“Bro the prophecy” says timm with 2 ms as he began to spout the words of the prophecy that all children are required to memorize in elementary school, “one day the wheel will ascend and that day will be the day that the end of the world begins unless 2 flesh cars can return it to earth and restore order to the universe. Also some self insert will knock down the twin towers again.” he recited.

“I think sub is coming towards you. YOU FOOL” a diff-erent voice says to the alpha writer.

“Dont worry chat she didnt see the screen.” says the cooler voice.

“I didnt know that would be about us…” says bbarb with 3 bs somehow not realizing that she and timm with 2 ms are literally the only flesh cars in the entire world.

“Dam thats crazy guess wwe have to go on a world saving quest now because the supreme court justices are invincible until the wheel is back to serve as a motivator to actually give a shit.” says timm with 2 ms because he apparently paid attention in class like a little bitch (too gendered).

“Aw shit knuckles. Thats boring i only wanted to kill the supreme court justices who overturned roe v wade 🙁☹️😫😡🤬👺😔😟” says bbarb with 3 bs. She audibly says every emoji aloud.

They turn around into the street to begin their epic quest as the crowd that used to be there walks around screaming for brains, but they know they wont find any with timm with 2 ms and they fear bbarb with 3 bs so they ignore them. Also theyre zombies now i guess.

Bbarb with 3 bs and timm with 2 ms walked into the ammo store so they dont go on their awesome epic quest empty handed. They waddled to the store clerk and said:

“Got any grapes?”

“I will kill you and your entire family.” said miss Store clerk.

“Dam ok shit i didnt know you were chill like that.” said timm with 2 ms.

“Can i get some ammo for a shotgun and a rifle pretty please with a rat on top?” said bbarb with 3 bs rattedly.

“Yea but that little thing down there doesnt get any.” says the store clerk talking about timm with 2 ms.

“Bro why” timm with 2 ms asked as if he didnt already know the answer

“Because youre a little bitch, queer.” said bbarb with 3 bs homophobically.

“The homophobia in this room is astounding” says gay ass.

“Heres your ammo you dont need an id because i can just tell youre the chosen one and youre chill liek that, girl boss.” says store clerk feminismly

“Thanks chat” bbarb with 3 bs said as she blew up the wall to leave instead of paying and walking out the door like a fucking psychopath. Who even pays for things anymore? Ew literally just steal and pirate.

“What a girl boss! You go girl! Blow up that wall!”says store clerk.

Timm attempted to follow his sister. “YO BITCH GET YO ASS BACK IN HERE IM CALLING THE COPS YOU CANNOT DO THAT PAY UP BITCH.” says store clerk reasonabbley.

Timm with 2 ms did a triple blackflip, landed on his ass and head at the same time and comically jumped up and sped away while this legs that he just grew spun like the wheels he actually has.

“I love pirating. People say its illegal, but nothings really illegal unless you get caught.” says timm with 2 ms.

“Pirating is completely fine unless you are pirating from a small indie series. The indie games, movies, or tv shows need that revenue from their art being sold or viewed, but large companies dont need this revenue. They can afford to lose a bit of money to pirating, so it is mnorally ok to pirate from them and in some cases is morally correct. For instance, when a company treats its workers horribly or financially supports something that you dont want to give money to, you should not subscribe to their service or give them any more money. This was something that i have employed for years whenever a company decides that they want to abuse their workers, get materials from an inhumane source, or support an organization that exists only to hurt minorities. In situations where you have a moral obligation to cease support of a company, then it is morally right to pirate or steal from them. My personal favorite way to pirate is to go on firefox and download the adblockers from the extensions tab. I currently have AdGuard AdBlocker, Ghostery Tracker & Ad Blocker, Decentraleyes, uBlock Origin, Privacy Badger, Bitwarden Password Manager, and Dark reader on firefox. I also employ an external adblocker. I use Proton VPN. I personally believe that Firefox is the best browser you can use for privacy and security as of current. Technically Brave is the best, but Brave is run by an extremely homophobic CEO, and i blatantly refuse to give my money to someone like that. A good piracy website that i reccomend is called FMHY.com (free media heck yeah). I personally use 456movie for tv shows and movies. FMHY is a large database type list of most all piracy websites currently existing. You can find literally anything you could want on there. My favorite way to pirate games is by installing F-Droid, which is an open source google play alternative and downloading Dolphin Emulator and Lemuroid. These are emulators that are good for pirating Nintendo games so you dont have to pay 7 million dollars for their 15 million consols to play games that are no longer supported or sold anywhere else. This is how I am currently playing Pokemon: silver.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Obviously, as the author, this is not from personal experience and i have never done this. This is only and example and i do not condone this. Totally. I would never pirate. 100%. Not personal experience at all this is not something that i have done. My legal team has advised me to say tis preceding this segment. Totally dont pirate. /j that was all a joke for laughs totally /j /j /j.” says the voice because i would neeeeeeveer pirate anything eveeeeer. That is totally not something i do regularly every single day to watch tv shows, movies, and play games because i find most companies these days evil.

“Bro you cant do that, corporations are people too!!!!” timms with 2 ms says knowing that he pirates literally everything ever and has never once paid for anything in his life.

“‘Dont’ pirate kittens! (do pirate my legal team is making me tell you not to but i wholeheartedly support pirating)” says Jonathan simms head archivist of the magnus institute.

“I hate megacorporations” says magnus chase from the gods of asgard.

“Good bye. This chapter is over now.” says alex fierro as she does a triple beckflip because shes chill like that.

Chapter Text

Mean.

While timm with 2 ms and bbarb with 3 bs are off saving the world or whatever.

“Bro babe husband wife partner buddy amigo amor literally im gonna beat you to death.” says tide dteegrnet chan. “I told you to wear a fucking condom.”

“IM A CNA OF CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?!?!?!!?!?!?” syas chickjken noodle soup chan calmly.

“I DONT FUCKING KNOW WEAR A BAG?!??!!!?!?!?” says tide detregtn calmyly.

“WELL WHY DIDNT YOU WEAR A CONDOM?!?!!?!?!?!?!? NOW WERE TPREG!!!! (theypreg)” says chicken noodle soup chan

“WE????? IM THE ONE THAT THEY PREG!!!!!” says tide dteergetn chan

“NOPE I JUST TOOK AN AUTISM TEST TOO. WERE BOTH PREGNANT.” says chicken noode soupop chan.

The doctor then walked into the room “guys i have good news and bad news.” says doctor lady.

“Oh yippidty fucking doo.” says tide detrgent dtergetntly.

“Good news: ITS SIXTUPLETS FOR BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!! Bad news: theyre not your kids.” she said.

“The fuck you mean they arent our kids.” says chicken noodle soup chan stupidly. Its pretty obvious.

“I mean that neither of you are the mother fathers of any of the children.” miss doctor says.

“Oh thank god” says tide detergent chan. It does NOT want these things.

“But since roe v wade has been overturned, i cannot legally abort the babies for you.” syas doctor.

“I can” chicken noodle soup chan says as it began aggressively and lovingly beating the absolutely shit out of tide detergent chan.

They brawl. Tide detergent chan is playing dirty and ripping out nonexistent hair. Chicken noodle soup chan uses its legs to kick in tide detergent chans stomach. Tide detergent chan goes full alpha wolf and rips at chicken noodle soup chans stomach. The werewolves are ripping eachother apart to abort the babies.

“Guys staaaawp!! This isnt you!!!” says miss doctor girl

Pause for plagiarism.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny,
with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the
flowers were blossoming profusely

and the grass
was richly green. The people of the village began
to gather in the square, between the post office
and the bank, around ten o’clock; in some towns
there were so many people that the lottery took
two days and had to be started on June 20th, but
in this village, where there were only about three
hundred people, the whole lottery took less than
two hours, so it could begin at ten o’clock in the
morning and still be through in time to allow the
villagers to get home for noon dinner” (Jackson 1).
__________________________________________________________

“The lottery was a short story i was forced to read for english class.” says I love plagiarism.

Balls boy

“Guys were too woke we have to conform to sexist gender norms and homophobia and transphobia” says tide detergent to chicken noodle soup after aborting the baby.

“Youre so right we are too woke.” says chicken noodle soup chan.

Tide detergent and chicken noodle soup chan begin contorting. Chicken noodle soup chan began shrinking to 3 foot 2. Their waist shrunk to be approximately 2 inches around and their tits became the size of 2 massive humongous bowling balls on her chest. They began bouncing boobily and glistening in the sunlight. Her ass looked like a pixar mom. It was the size of her tits but bigger.she had exotic features but not in a minority way because she still has to be white. Her blonde yellow hair went down to the floor and wrapped around her body like clothing. She wasnt wearing real clothes. Her tits and ass were just barely covered. Her hair opened around her back and went down almost to her ass crack. Her bulging blue eyes complimented her sharp high cheeckbones in a white way. Her pale ass skin was so white she looked dead but in a hot way. Her ankles were so skinny you could see her tiny little bones. Her rib cage was portuding from her skin in a hot way because she doesnt eeat food to keep her beautiful figure. We love glorifying eating disorders. Her hair was so beautiful you could pull it back and bite her neck. Her eyes were the size of meteorites. Her lips were plump as if she had been stung by vicious bees. Her rosy cheeks were such a deep red that she seemed as if she were actively bleeding. She looked approximately 5 years old but she was actually 308.

Tide detergent chan changed form into a large muscular orange man. His body odor was so pungent you could smell it 50 countries away. His massive muscles were the size of mountains. He grew in size to be 10 feet tall. His jawline was so sharp it could be classified as a lethal weapon. His cheekbones and jawbones protuded from his face and he had definately been mewing. His jaw was so square he looked like minecraft steve. His beautiful black hai was oiled and slicked back so he looked like a mob boss (i would know for you kittens who read the authors notes). He was wearing a suit so expensive it could pay for my college tuition 40 times over. It was clearly tailored to suit him and only him because he is 10 feet tall. His muscular arms and legs buldged from the fabric. The shirt was so tight that you could clearly see his defined abs from under his suit jacket. His 64 pack was massive. His massive hands were big enough to grasp even Chicken noodle soup chans tatas. His voice was in the core of the earth it was so deep. His massive horse cock was clearly outlined from the pants of his suit. It was probably about 10 feet long judging from the size of his bulge. He is visually 25 years old. Maybe a bit of a pedophile.

“Were in our straight arc” says tide detergent chan manlyly.

“Oh yea we really are” chicken noodle soup chan said lovingly, her boobs bouncing as she spoke. Tid edetregnt chans 100 foot buldge got longer as he watched herbreasts bounce boobily.

“I am listening to what you are saying. You are the smartest in you field until a man walks into the room.” says tide detergent chan as he grabs her tits.

“Ilove sexism.” says chicken noodle soup chan or something along those lines i dunno. It doesnt really matter because shes a woman and she is only here for sex appeal. She adjusted her hair around her breast because she is not wearing clothes.

“Im going to hell” says the voice anti-wokedly.

Alpha male tide detergent chan walked his omega out of the hospital room, clutching her ass cheeks the whole way. “I shouldnt hae let you get that abortion. Tsk tsk. I support the overturning of roe v wade. I have when you have bodily autonomy.” says tide detergent chan amsculinely.

“Something something man men i love men im a woman and do not have thoughts or opinions.” chicken noodle soup chan said or something similar to that. Tide detergent chan was NOT listening because he was too busy staring at her bouncing, glistening, shining, glowing, boobs.

“Its ok my little omega i can tell from your pheromones that we didnt kill the babies inside of you” tide detergent chan growled.

“Thank you senapi i love you so much and youre so handsome and masculine. Feminine woman things.” chicken noodle soup chan said dreamily as her breasts were pushed up by her arms because she clasped them near her waist like an anime schoolgirl.

Suddenly alpha tide detergent chan heard a thud from behind him. He turned around and saw a drag queen from rupauls drag race. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH WOKE!!!!!” he screamed mascunlinely. “Stay behind me kitten, daddy will protect you!”

Chicken noodle soup chan cowered in fear behind her alpha while he valiantly fought off the drag queens. Another drag queen dropped down from behind her and caught Chicken noodle soup chan off guard. “Eek!!! Alpha help me!!!” she sshreiked womanly.

Tide detergent chan was preoccupied, so chicken noodle soup chan was on her own. Because she iss competent and the best at everything except from when a man is around, chicken noodle soup chan confidently fended off the drag queen.

They tussled and chicken noodle soup chan was able to keep her balance even thoug hher pregnant belly was throwing her off balance by turning her usually 3 inch waist into 4 inches. She is also wearing heels. The drag queen slashed at tide deteregtn chan and she pulled out her blicky from her ass and started shooting with deadly accuracy. Suddenly tide detergent chan walked up behind her and immediately, in the presence of a man, chicken noodle soup chans aim became so bad that she accidentally shot herself in the foot. Tide detergent saw this and barreled over the drag queen and crushed them with his massive biceps. It was like smashing grapes for tide detergent chan.

Hee turned around, covered in the drag queens blood and growled “you should have stayed behind me like i told you to. You know that since you are a feminine woman, you cannot fight. I love sexism because it clearly states that as a woman you cannot do anything with out a man there to help you.”

“A a a a a a alpha im s s s s sorry” chicken noodle soup chan stammered, a tear sliding dowwn her cheek and falling gracefully onto her massive, bouncing, honkers, wetting her hair that is haphazardly covering her breasts.

“Youre right kitten im sorry i shouldnt have been so harsh on you. Youre a woman you couldnt have known better.” says tide detergent chan like the alpha he is.

Tide detergent chan picks up his wife into his massive arms and carries her bridal style to their apartment in Lodnon. He drapes her seductively on their bed. “I am a man and am incapable of doing feminine womanly jobss so you have to fix your bullet wound yourself while i salivate on you because your bouncing bosoms are so seductive.” tide detergent growls.

Chicken noodle soup chan bends over and pulls out the bullet gracefully as her hair falls down slightly revealing her massive perpetually movving breasts. Tide detergent stared at her like a starving wolf stares hungrily at his prey. She moved swiftly with immense grace as she bound her foot with bandages because as long as she isnt working with aa aman she is absolutely amazing at everything, but anything she could do, any man ciuld do better with ease because she is a woman and this story is taking a sexist anti-woke turn. Because chicken noodle soup chan is a woman and only exists for sex appeal, there was no mark left by the bullet and her wound closed rapidly without a drop of blood.

Once chicken noodle soup chan finished fixing her wound, tide detergent chan took her foot in his hand to examine it. “You are not allowed to have a scar or mark on you. Especially your feet because, as a woman, you belong to me and i have a amassive foot fetish because im freaky like that” tide growled as his buldge grew.

“Of course alpha” chicken noodle soup chan said seductively as she leaned down on the bed seductively and strechted out her leg so her alpha could examine her foot. She leaned wit her quaint elbows sinking into the matress and her back arched to make her boobs seem even more disproportionate to her body than they already aare. Her kness were bent in towards eeachother and this pose looked extremely uncomfortable to any outside observer, but tide detergent knew that, since chicken noodle soup chan is only here for sex appeal, that she cannot be in pain from being her most seductive self. Unless tide detergent was into that, then she should be in as much ppain as he desirse because of sexism!

“Im feeling freakyy kitten” says tide detergent with his gorwly hot deep alpha voice.

“But alpha, my wound must heal and the babies could get huurt.” says chicken noodle soup chan timidly because she had never stood up to sigma alpha tide deterrgent chan before.

“Fine. then i will go into my mancave and jerk off to pictures of other women on the internet because youre a bitch and i will beat you later..” says tide detergent reasonablely.

Chicken noodle ssoup chan lays back on the bed and rests for a moment and thinks nothing because, as a woman, she is not allowed to have thoughts and opinions. She will go fix dinner as soon as possible so the beating from tide detergent chan senpai isnt as severe as it would usually be.

“I love sexism.” says chicken noodle soup chan.

Chapter Text

“Yknow its ok when the gays and the lesbians kiss but i dont think the breeders should. I just think its really harmful to the kids when they see that. Like theyre indoctrinating our kids into having children.” says timm with 2 ms.

“Thats literally what ive been sayings.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Dude the ninjago ninjas are gay as hell bro” says timm with 2 ms.

“Literally like ‘cole, we get it, you like my bed!’ crazy and jays literally jumping into mens laps? Queer as hell. He wanted both of them frfr” bbarb with 3 bs replies.

“There weren enough women in that show. Pixal felt like she was fridged.” says timm with 2 ms.

“Fr.” says bbarb with 3 bs. “Oooooo look!!! Dandelions! I wish that trump dies a horrible death. I wish that jd vance dies a horrible death. I wish that elon musk dies a horrible death. I wish that rfkjr dies a horribe death. I wish that shrimp A Alito dies a horrbile death. I wish that Clearence aisle thomas dies a horrible death. I wish that Neil Goresuck dies a horriblee death. I wish that Break his bones Kavanaugh dies a horrible death. I wish that Amy traffic cones Bitch dies a horrible death.” bbarb with 3 bs says while blowing out dandelions for their wishes.

“They should get back to the straight arc now.” says timm with 2 ms like deadpool becausse he broke the 4th wall gayly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The Double Tide Detergent Chan”

I walked out of my shared apartment with chicken noodle soup chan because she hadnt finished my dinner in 5 second and i was getting impatient. I had to go to the bar and get blackout drunk so i could waste our kids college savingss on beer. I would never drink wine because i am a man and real alpha males only drink cold beers.

While i sat at the bar and compared my alpha self to all the betas surrounding me, i noticed something intriguing. There was another alpha sitting at the bar. He was drinking a 17 gallon cup of beer. I watched as he downed cup afer cup in mere milliseconds. As an alcoholic, i wished i could do something like that. The weird part however, was that he looked exactly like me. The only difference was his clothing. While i was wearing my signature tight as hell dress shirt and tight ass pants. I would never wear a suit jacket to the bar because then the women couldnt see my bulging muscles thorough my shirt as well. The other me however was wearing an open suit jacket and tight dress pants and nothing else. It was genius! All the l l l l ladies (what a horrible word) could see his massive tits without anything to cover them. Everyone in the bar could be subjected to his beautiful hunk body.

I walked over to him and stared in awe as he leaned against the bar and showed off his buldging 64 pack. I looked at his defined jawline and protruding cheekbones identical to mine. I may or may not have straightly looked at his massive horse cock, but who am i too say.

“Do i know you?” said the man identical to me. He seemed to have caught me staring at him. I dont think i was being that obvious. I was standing approximately 10 inches infront of him and staring directly at his 10 foot long dick. I was wondering if it would fit in a straight way.

I couldnt think of anything to say, but he could. “I am you. You are me. We are one.” he stated bluntly.

“I can tell” i said as i stared straigthly at his massive bulge.

“Do you also love sexism?” said the other tide detergent chan.

“Oh yea it wonderful. I love being sexist to my wife.” i replied completely seriously.

“Thats so real. Is your wife also a caricature of feminine stereotypes just like we are caricatures of masculine stereotypes?” said tide detergent 2 (electric boogaloo)

“Yes” i said while keeping my eyes on his wiggling cock.

Wecontinued chatting about how much we loved sexism and misogyny until we were both blackout drunk. I woke up the next morning in a house i recognized but also didnt recognize. It was my spare house for taking my affair partners, but it looked every so slightly different from how it usually looked. The usually bright red and black (like my soul) walls were now pure red. Like my eyes when i get angry. That was the only difference. I guess i did some painting while i was blackout drunk.

As i always do when i first wake up, i thought about how much i hate women. I love sexism and homophobia. As an alpha male, i knew i needed to get on my podcast grind soon so i could put out a new episode of the joe rogan podcast. I got out of bed and struggled with my 10 foot long dick to fit it into my underwear. This is always the hardest part of the morning in moore ways than one.

I used my alpha wolf magic to dress myself with my tight ass shirt and dress pants because theres no way in hell these clothes would fit without magic. I walked out into the living room of my affair apartment and saw something out of the ordinary. On the couch, there was a man waiting instead of the usual corpse of a woman. The weird part was that the man was alive. Usually when another alpha male is in my apartment its because i had gone on my usual alpha male killing spree the night before.

“Yo get me a beer woman” said the man without looking up from the tv where he was watching joe rogan podcasts. Suddenly the memories from last night came back to me. I had not in fact gone on my usual alpha male kiling spree. Weird. I had in fact had massive horse cock sex with myself.

“Yo im an alpha male you cant boss me around” i screamed. As an alpha i oculd not be bossed around. I could however boss around the bitchy omega f f f females.

“Oh right. Well that was great. It was like the enumclaw horse sex case all over again.” said my new affair parenter.

“yea. the one where the guy, mr. hands, got fucked to death by a horse?” i asked

“Yea thats the one.” said my affair partner who was me.

“Dam thats crazy.” said I

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mean.

While tide detergent chan was out at the bar I, chicken noodle soup chan, prepared dinner. I knew he wouldnt come back to the house until tomorrow because he always goes out and gets black out drunk and kills a few beta males when he drinks, but i figured i should prepare dinner anyways.

At the time i was unaware that he was cheating on me but if i did i would have known that as a woman, i was not allowed to be angry about it.

As i prepared dinner my breasts bounced boobily and glittered in the light of the oven. “Onii chan!!!” i said because woman??

“Guys what should happen” said the voice. I pretended i didnt hear it because feminine woman or something. Im running out of sexist reasonings guys.

“You need to be publicly executed”, says the different voice.

“Why thank you” said the voice. “Give me some sexisms to add.”

“No”, replies the different voice.”Do you think this counts as the Tide Detergent and Chicken Noodle Soup cheating arc?”

“Yea thats what i was going for.” says voice number 1. “What should happen now? Actually can i end this arc soon i really hate writing it. Its a little past the line for me persoannlly. Like its funny but its getting borderline sexual and i dont wanna write that.”

“I have an idea go write the children fixing everything so you don’t have to write anymore of this and we end like 3 arcs at once”, suggests the different voice

Ok but first i have to write chicken noodle soup chan finding out that tide detergent chan is cheating in her wwith himself.” says the voice 1.0

“Ok sounds good”, finishes the different voice

“None of this sounds good”

Chicken noodle soup chan finished making dinner and went to bed because the entire house was spotless and she haad to get her beauty rest so she could look exotic in a white way. Its natural beauty too. She doesnt even wear makeup.

When she woke up she looked over at tide detergent chan, her husband. She moved the covers to get out of bed and get “dressed” for the day (She just had to re arrange her hair) and she saw another person under the covers!!!

She screamed at a decibel only audible to dogs and fighter jets.

The man got up and stood at 10 feet tall on top if te bed. He danced around like a mad man and ran out off the room while wearing nothing but a clock to cover his 10 foot long monster dick. It didnt work.

“Tide detregtnet chan!!! H-h-h-howw coudl y-y-y-you do this to m-m-m-me?!?!?!!” scream chicken noodle soup chan.

“Dont you dare judge me woman im an alpha male and i do what i want. As a woman you arent allowed to have thoughts and opinions and youre certainly not allowed to be mad that im cheating on you!!!!!” said tide detergent cchan.

He looked out the window and began howling. He saw the full moon and his eyes turned red. Chicken noodle soup chan cowered in fear in a hot way while being pinned to the wall by her neck. Both of them began contorting and shrinking once again back into their original forms. Tide detergent chan was once again a bottle of tide detergent and chicken noodle soup chan was a can of campbells chicken noodle soup. They were also both agender of whatever the hell they usually are again. This happened because they are reverse werewolves and they turn back to normal when the full moon comes out because we have to explain to the reader directly or else they will not know what is happening in the “story”.

Chicken noodle soup chan and tide detergent chan looked at eachother, now rid of tide detergent chans monster dick, and said in unison “the only way to stop the transformation from happening again is for bbarb with 3 bs and timm with 2 ms to save the world and bring The Wheel back to its resting place among us pathetic mortals.”

Mean.

Barbb with 3 bs, timms with 2 ms, and y/n were out trying to save the world. However prophecies unfortunately don’t come with instruction manuals however Ikea does. So now the three of them were at Ikea looking for an instruction manual on how to save the world. They were currently in the bulletproof chair section .

y/n got here because you just couldn't miss out on the fun while stuck in jail.

“Aw man i really hope the faceless employees dont turn evil at niight and try to kill us all and we end up having to escape the infinate ikea and build a house to live here for the rest of time. That would really suck.” says timm with 2 ms foreshadowingly.

“Why would you say that. Youre gonna jinx us.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“I hope that happens too you. Fucking boyfriend stealer.” says you reasonably forgetting that isxac newton is gay as hell (and fine as hell says author 3)

“Kys.” timm with 2 ms says evilly. Not as evil as editor 2 (pick your number) though. I have just recently discovered parenthesis.

Suddenly, without warning, the lights turned off and the evil ikea workers starting saying in unison “the store is now closed. Please exit the building.” in a way that makes you think they have no faces and that our favorite protagonists are now trapped. Mwahahahahaha. I love creating new arcs.

“Oh shit kunckles you did it again timm with 2 ms.” said bbarb with 3 bs

“I d-d-d-d-din’t mean to….” says tim with 2 ms gayly. “It was an accident…! I-I-I-” timm stutters frightenly.

“Shut the fuck up” barb with 3 bs says.

“Everyone! Aren’t you two more worried about the fact that we are basically in the backrooms?” you say, trying to calm to two others down as they fight. They look at you, but it’s so dark that it’s basically impossible to see out of their big orbs.

“Stop being a fucking mary sue” barbb calls you out.

“Iḿ no-not being mary sue. I am simply trying to get us out of infinite Ikea,” yous tries to say. You were getting especially angry at bbarb with three bs, but that can be a character arc for later because you need to collect more arcs.

Your argument was cut off by the 50,000 ikea workers now surrounding you and your siblings. Since bbarb with 3 bs robbed that gun store in a legal way you had a weapon, but there were so many of them, you could onyl see one possible solution.

you , obviously, walked up to the closest ikea worker and pretended it was isxac newton, inventor of gravity. “Heyyyyyyy hotcock. Im y/n and im stuucckk!!! Can you help me?? Onii chan!!!” you said trying to seduce the ikea worker.

“Oh hell no.” said bbarb with 3 bs as she grabbed you and tiimm with 2 ms and used her grappling hook that she stole from batman after escaping prison to swing out of the situation. She dropped you atop a storage container and started verbally berating you for being weird as shit.

“B b b b ut bbarb with 3 bs!!!! Im l l l literally just a g g g girl!!!! (genderless entity)” you say calmly.

“Im sorry y/n im slutshaming 🙁thats just my projection onto you 🙁” said bbarb with 3 bs.

“Wait what??? You tell that shit to me all the time and you never apologized!!!” said timm with 2 ms like a bitch.

“Thats because youre a male, manwhore.” bbarb with 3 bs scrempt. She hates men like circe. If she was a mary sue and had kick ass magical powers all men would be pigs.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, ODYSSEUS OF ITHACA APPEARED!!!!!

“Im Odysseus of ithaca!!!” says odysseus of ithaca odysseus of ithacally.

“Fuck off i dont need a big strong man to save me im a girlboss” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Ok good because…” odysseus of ithaca says as he roblox morph magics, “im genderliquid. Dont worry gang i know my way around these parts.” Odysseus of ithaca genderliquided and became a girl through morphing.

“Oh thats fine then.” says bbarb with 3 bs because it would be hypocritical to say anything else and bbarb with 3 bs is a nonhypocritical girl boss.

“The woke mob is after us odysseus of ithaca!” says timm with 2 ms because hes a little pussy lik that.

“Hmmmmmmmm what a conundrum. You must create a shelter!” oddyseus of ithaca said as she kissed wild monster melon frozen fruit juice natural watermelon frozen fruit juice in a romantic lesbian way.

“That must be penelope of ithaca.” says you perceptively.

“Yeaa. we joined a polycule together after she got turned into wild monster melon frozen fruit juice natural watermelon frozen fruit juice.” she screamed.

Then odysseus of ithaca flew off into the sunset and the siblings were left alone again. “We must create a shelter” says bbarb with 3 bs because the rest of the gang is stupid.

They immediately got to work using solely lamps from the floor to build a house. Lampert would be proud maybe. I dunno i played regretevator once.

“Hmmmmm i think we need some furniture in our beautiful lamp house.” you says.

Then you all get more lemps to set up everywhere. You have literally an entire ikea why are you only using lamps???

“Wait a gosh darn second!” says timm with 2 ms because he had a thought for once, “we should reinforce our house with bulletproof chairs so we will be extra safe and were in the bulletproof chair section!!!!!!!”

“Thats the first good idea youve ever had timm with 2 ms. your final brain cell really went into overtime for that one.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

With the lamp house finally built you could all relax and play a game of knockoff uno, un. Its the french version.

“Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neif dix.” you say because you took intro to french in 7th grade and it now is your entire personality. You didnt even do well. You had a D.

“O-onii chan
I have a dick
Onii chan, onii chan, onii chan, onii chan, onii chan, onii chan
Onii chan, onii chan, onii chan, onii chan, onii chan, onii chan
O-onii chan
I have a dick (I have a dick)
O-onii chan (chan)” you hear from the radio and every one sings along because its obviously a good song for sure yea totally best song ever i dont hate it. /sarcasm.

“Hmmmmmmm i think its time for the weather because this chapter isnt quite long enough and were running out of ideas.” says cecil gershwin palmer (god).

“I am baldi youre in my school
Something something
You do math bad.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Hair is thinning IM BALDI!!!!!!!

But wait IM COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am bladi youre in my school teachers weeping pe..oplescreaming blah blah blah blah bullies running???

Walking underground underground underground
Walking underground underground undergrund
I have fallen down in this mountain im down
I have fallen down underground underground.

Welcome to the ruins welcome to the ruins welcome to the ruins ruin ruins ruins. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRkkERLPzaI I love an unders tale.

My name is the fucking mimic oh yea my name is the fuckng mimic oh yea
My name is david DAD! I want some ice cream DAVID that is my name DAVID i want another DAVID where is my baaaaaaaaaaall im running our on the road there is a caaaaaaaar and it is going to hit me AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

My name is edwin i made the mimic it was difficult to put. The pieces. Together. But unfortunately. Something went s owrong. And now i cant do anything. But sing this stupid song my name is edwin edwin edwin edwin edwin edwin.

Walking underground underground underground
Walking underground underground undergrund
I have fallen down in this mountain im down
I have fallen down underground underground.

You will never know my secret AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGH
You will never know my secret MOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAN

Alexander hamilton ! my name is alexander hamilton!

Uh

Ten deuls commandments!

Im not throwing away my. Shot. and no im not throwing away. My shot.

Thomas jeffersons coming hooooooome thomas jefferson alexander hamilton.

Battle of yorktown 1781. Monsieur hamilton monsieur lafayette in command where you belong how you say no sweat.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

Whats another hamilton song?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Me i fought with him
Me i died for him
Me i loved him (laurens where?)
And me im the damn fool that shot him. Shot him

Whens the beat gonna drop baldi?

I AM BLADI YOURE IN MY SCHOOL TEACHERS COMING YOU DO MATH HERE.

THE CHRISTMAS KIDS WERE NOTHING BUT A GIFT WHEN LOVE IS A TOWER AND A LL OF US WILL ????? UHHHHHHHHH HOWS IT GO?????
LIVE APPEARING UNSIGHTLY THE DEVILS INSIDE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

So whatd i miss? Whatd i miss? Virginia my home sweet home i wanna give you a kiss
Gotta be in monticello

THE SCHUYLER SISTERS!

I think thats enough weather.

After the weather Barbb with 3 bs was able to find the instructions for the prophecy :D. You cant move during thee weather everyioine knows this. And it said all they have to do is find The Wheel in the wheel section of Ikea, and get it to New York to defeat the twin towers (part 2.), so they can kill the supreme court justices that overturned roe v wade.

I think we should end the chapter here. Bye. Byeeee thats for the reader

Chapter Text

Barbb had a panic attack where all of the songs from her nightmears have come back to haunt her in her schiztofrenic mind. The doctors have no idea what is happening to her, but only can give her medication to help with the voices. The faces she sees are the ones that will continue to torture her in the head. Itś debatable wéaheŕ Barb with two bs will be okay, but the doctors try to stay calm without informing her family. Therapists at the mental hospital have concluded that the parents of Barb with 2 bs are neglectful and can’t be informed of Barbb’s condition due to her circumstances. As her brain descends into madness, therapists and doctors cant help but think about what events couldve occurred for her condition to be as bad as it is. As she sits in the mental hospital with the events happening in her head, others cant help but observe. Barbb had become a spectacle to the others in the hospital. Instead of someone they look upon in goodness and honor, they look at her in disgust of what not to be. While the hospital tries to discourage this behavior, they continue to look down upon the poor tortured soul who has suffered such a grand amount.

Back in the negative 1st circle of hell!!!!!!!!!

Its pride justin beiber!!!!

“Whats up my queers! Im pride justin beiber!!” says pride justin beiber from the negative 1st circle of hell which is also known as pride squared.

Lets go to the other circles of hell!!!!!

In the -2nd circle of hell there was sitting bakugo from my hero academia.
“ I am gooning to femboys” says bakugo from hero academia. “I want to goon to kawaii desy deku chan so we can make bakudeky ‘slime’ together. I am alpha goonir” says bajuko from hero academia again.

Deku the short ass green fucking femboy twink “comes” over to Bakugo from hero academia and does the peace sign to everyone.

“H-hi..!” says deku putting up the tiktok finger 🤓 “I want to be a hero..! But…….. I can only be a hero if I make bakudeku ‘slime’ with bakugo…. Someone save this little kitten from their suffering.” he says monotonly.

“Ew kawaii desu deku 🤮” says bakugo hiding his true feeling for deku baku deku bkdk bakugo x deku.

“I l l l l love you k k k k acchan!!!!” says deku nerdly.

“I love you too deku chan im the alpha so get on your knees and beg.” says beakugo from my hero academia because he realized hes one of them queers.

“Yes alpha” says deku lustfully. He immediately gets on his knees and starts begging for mercy from his abusive boyfriend bakugo from bakudeku slime.

After many nanoseconds bakugoo mha and deku mha got up and sat lustfully at the table that has conveniently spawned. “We must make bakudeku slime” says bakugo slimely.

“Yes a a a a a a alpha” says deku like a beta cuck.

“Yessssssss” says todoroki from my hero academy as he pulled out his foot and lustfully, scandalously revealed his ankles and painted feet. His feet were seductively painted with the faces of bakugo and deku from mha.

“I knew it” bakugo said with his bakudeku slime in his hands. He pulled out his feet too and todoroki and deku were painted joyously on his majestic feet.

“A a a a a a alpha forgive mee” says deku chan kawaii desuly as he pulled out his tiny feet as well and they all saw that bakugo and todorki were painted on his grimy toes.

They all sat in their chairs and put their feet together to make todobakudeku slime.

Todoriok put his “slime” into the pile as well and they all slapped their “slimes” together.

“todo bakudeku” they all screamed in unison. Their todobakudeku slime merged into one and formed the ultimate creature.

“I am hatsune miku” says their creation. “I am god and i was formed by the merging of todobakudeku ‘slime’”

“I love you hatsune miku!!!!!!!” says miku binder thomas jefferson as benjamin franklin put many more texas pennies into his miku binder.

“HATSUNE MIKU!!!!!! I LOVE HATSUNEME MIKU!!!” says femboylover3000 magically.

“I always knew our todobakudeku slime would result in something beautiful” says todoroki autistically as hatsune miku flew off into the clouds on her 14 wings and 200 eyes and many rotating discs around her. You see, my friends, jhatsune miiku can be anything. Go wild. Let your dreams come true with the power of hatsune miku. Join us. Join us in the Hatsune Miku cult. You belong here comrad. Let Miku’s miku beam go over you as you listen to goated vocaloid songs. Join us. Join us.
Join us.
Join us.
Join us.

“Shut the fuck up bithc” says bakugo in awe as he gooned to femboys again.

“Shut up im mewing” says todoroki with his protruding cheekbones and jawline that is hard as steel.

“I love todobakudeku slime” says femboy twink deku as he rubbed his feet lustfully against the other twos.

“Maybe this is why were in hell.?” says todoroki stupidly.

“No.” says bakudeku gooning to femboys and twinks still while he made another batch of bakuedeku “slime”.

“Hi the different voice do you like it?” says the first voice.

“No I regret reading that, and you said that writing the sexist tide detergent stuff was crossing the line while you write this. ”

“Todobakudekukirishima” says the voice

“Jump”

“ ☺️☺️♥️♥️”

“Im eijiro kirishima!” says kirishima as he also pulls out his feet which are painted with todorokis, deku, and bakugos faces because he has 3 feet.

As kirishima “comes” to the group they all gain a third leg to represent another person in their polucule.

Kirishima sits down sand puts his feet in the circle and they all say their names like its alchojholics anonymous because it is. They are all addicts.

There is a third person now and they must create toodobakudekukiri slime. They rub their feet together and mold their next slime. This one will create something wondrous.

Tune back in next time for the reveal!!!! 😈IMP???? I THOUGHT IT WAS A DEMON?????? TF YOU MEAN IMP SMILE?

Eh ill just do it now.

From the todobakudekukiri slime came forth John. “i am John. the period is included in the name.” Says john. The period is included in the name. “My parents are tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan i have decided decidedly. I will go now to meet my siblings in the infinite ikea.” says john. The period is included in the name.

John. the period is included in the name floated into space on his wings of welcome to nightvale logic because he is an angel. But nagels cannot be acknowledged unless youre past a certain episode. “WWelcome to ngihtvale” says cecil gershwin palmer. Welcome to nightvale is a place where this is commonplace and normal. Go listen to welcome to nigthvale readers it is very good. Also listen to magnus archives while youre at it. Magnus archives is like welcome to nightvale but more serious and less silly.

DO NOT TRAP CECIL IN HELL dont worry hes not hes the narrator.

Ok

Mean. because I will not read what is happening above anymore

The gang (too gendered)(Barbb with 3 bs, Timm with 2 ms, and y/n) were wandering aimlessly throughout the Ikea.

“y/n ”, Barbb started, “I thought you said you knew where we were going”

“I never did”, you said defending yourself, “I said I ran into Odysseus of Ithaca”

“Yes, and didn’t you say he LEFT, so by that logic we should be able to leave”, barbb rebutted

“Bruh bruh bruh you were there” says you.

“I thought you were a mary sue, Y/N!!!!!” bbarb with 3 bs said calmly

“And besides” you say , “we need to find the wheel section to restore The Wheel to its rightful place amongst us mortals”

The group continues walking, and they still have not found the wheel section. However while they were still walking a being descended down from the ceiling.

“SUNLIGHTTTT”, Tim with 2 ms screams because he has not been doing well trapped in the Ikea.

“Who are you?”you and Barbb with 3 bs says simultaneously, as you get ready to use your super alpha magic princess space prince powers.

“I… am John.”,says John., “I am actually your sibling and I am here to help”

“Oh ya”, you say, “prove it”

Because John. the period is included in the name was not in the prophecy as we all know.

“Well for starters the wheel section is over there”John. says as he points towards the wheel section.

“Timm. How tf did you not see that”,Barbb with 3 bs snaps even though she didn’t see it either but she gonna blame Timm with 2 ms anyway as she should.

“Kys” timm with 2 ms says rudely.

“kYs” says bbarb with 3 bs kindly.

As they continue to bitch and wine at eachother you turn to our newfound sibling, john. The period is included in the name. “John. the period is included in the name, you still havent proven yourself” you says smartly.

“Oh yea heres my DNA test” john. The period is included in the name says as he/she/they/them pulls out a positive pregnancy test.

“Oh wow” you says “you were lying not!” You can tell the DNA pregnancy test is accurate because it has 3 lines, indicating autism, on the pregnancy test side and on the back there is a long detailed list of john. The period is included in the names genetic makeup. You know via your sick ass alpha galaxy alpha wolf princess prince powers that this means they is blood related to you by your mother father, tide detergents side of the family.

“Woah youre an autism too!” you all say in unison, which is one of your autistic superpowers that comes in the autism gift basket.

“Yes but that was really not the take away you were supposed to get from this.” john. The period is included in the name says.

“Yea yea yea youre like our haf brother sibling whatever no one gives a dam were blood related to a pile of papers so…” bbarb with 3 bs says excitedly.

“Follow me this way bitches, i will guide you through the treacherous wheel section.” says john. the period is included in the name in a way that makes you think they are not going to betray you because they woont because they are your half sibling from yourr mother father tide detergents side. You wonder how they are so much older thn you but you know tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan have only been married for like 3 days at this point. Probably less honestly with the rate this story is going.

You think about how yor mother father named john. The period is includedd in the name so much better than they named you. This must be indicative of the favoritism they surely show your half sibling, john. The period is included in the name. You ponder why your mother fathers tide detergent chan and billy the cell always liked your other siblings more than you. You know that you have always been the gacha life mini movie hated child. But dont worry you its ok, you will soon undergo your galaxy alpha wolf transformation and be crowned prince princess of the 82 pages of this stupid fucking document so far. This number will surely grow into the thousands. You know you will be taken back in by your real parents even though we watched you, on screen, come out of tide detergent chans asshole. You know, however, that this does not mean that tide detergent chan is your mother. You know that everyone in this universe that were created by the overheads is transgender of some kind or genderless. There are no cisgender main characters in this story. You think bitchedly about calling those dam cisgenders cissies again. You, of course, are whatever gender the reader is. Unless the reader is cisgender, which is not allowed. In that case you are nonbinary because youre chill like that.

Then suddenly you are pulled out of your selfless thoughts that are not about yourself when a brick hits you the head and you pass out graciously because mr. narrator is sick of your bullshit.

Mean. with tide detergent and chicken nooodle soup chan

“We ust find the reverse werewolf cure!!!” says tide detrgebt chan because it hass reverted out of its alpha form and is now normla again.

“You are correct.” says chicken noodle soup chan.

Suddenly hatsune miku dropped from the ceiling with her right hand man and best worshipper, miku binder thomas jefferson.

“So whatd i miss!!!!” says miku binder thomas jefferson singingly.

“Wassup hatsune miku” says tide detergent chan.

“You have angered my, god, bby being sexism…” says hatsune miku foreshadowingly.

“Oh sorry that was our reverse werewolf foorm we dont actually believe any of that.” sasy tide detergent chan trying to get out of being cancelledly.

“No. you must pay…” hatsune miku growls alphaly. She uses her amazing alpha female powers to blow a massive hole in the ground to showcase her power. “Get on your knees and bow down to me and you may not die.”

They both sink to the floro in unison and begin grovelling and licking hhatsune mikus boots to avoid being cancelled.

“You punishment will be less severe. You are now cursed to speak striclty in shakespearean dialect lest the curse be broken.” says hatsune miku spookily.

“Tis thee naught abled o’er shakespeare thou!!!” states shakspeareanly tide detergent chan.

“Thou art not the boss of mine.” says chicken noodle soup chan like romeo did in the show romeo and julia.

“Mwahahahahahahahahahaha” hatsune miku screames normally.

Chapter Text

‘“Wassup im basketballin” says pride justin beiber.

“Wassup pride pride justin beiber” says pride pride bbarb with 3 bs. She is a fleshcar by the way. Gotta make sure you all remember that.

“I gotta return to the -1st circle of hell now.” says pride justin beeiber pridely.

“Fyuucking good get outta my face bitch swear word swear word swear word.” says timm with 2 ms fleshcarly. He is also a fleshcar remember.

“Great googily moogily” says you. As you see , The Wheel !!!!!! in the wheel section of ikea.

FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Chat literally im in jail.” says twitch streamer pile of paper in a way that makes you think it has 2 viewers on average.

“Shut the fuck up pile of paper kun” you scream smearcingli as yo eat from your large comically oversized bag of melted yorkies minis.

“Stop freaking eating your mints with a spoon bro” says bbarb with 3 bs who is your fleshcar sisteer. It is a wonder how your family is all related. You are a human being, timm with 2 ms and bbarb with 3 bs are flesh cars, your mother fathers are a bottle of tide detergent and a cell, and your other sibling is a freakity fracking pile of papers.

“Where id the paper come from bro. Werent you the paper earlier y/n” says timm with 2 ms queerly.

“We unfused with my super galaxy alpha wolf prince princess hated chilld turned galaxy wolf prince princess alpha mary sue powers.” says you and the papers in unison. You have the same brains.

Timm with 2 ms is deathly ill because he is seaa sick. Pussy. You think about how much better than him you are. Hes a little bitch boy little gay boy stupid queer. Fucking queers ruinging everything. This is what you think as you also think gayly about isXac newton your soon to be alpha boyfriend.

“I will soon date isxac newton because my evil plan will come to pass.” you mutter evilly

“Shut the fuck up hes gay” says timm with 2 ms your rival because he also wants isxac newton. Bitch.

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” you scrempt. stupid cisgenders. Or like whatever timm with 2 ms is. “Fuck off cissie” you say kindly.

“The hell?” timm with 2 ms says cisgenderly.

“I agree. Youre cisgender and weird.” bbarb with 3 bs says in a way that makes you think she is transgender.

“I hate it here” says timm with 2 ms bitchedly.

“Mahahahahahahahahahahahah” says the shadows. You watch in abject horror as cheesit man reveals itself from the shadows. “I am the cheezit hat man and also ulysses s. Grant!” he reveals himself.

“”

Suddenly there was a crab. You watched as it was fried alive and the fryer was clear so you could watch it squirming.

“People are dying global warming is happening people are living terrible lives and here we are writing a fanfic about utter nonsense.” says femboylover 3000/editor 3.

“At least we have sin.exe” ☺️ ☺️ says the voice.

“Chat pixals back!!!!!!!!!! They unfridged her!!!!!!!!” says the voice about lego ninjago season 8.

“Im the cheezir grant!!!!” says the hatman.

“Oh no. i am terrified.” says timm with 2 ms not sarcastically.

“Giod be afraid.” says cheezit grant hatman. “Go william tecumseh sherman!!!!!” he says to hiss pokemon william tecumseh sherman.

“William tecumseh sherman!!!” says william tecumseh sherman whitely in a way that makes you think he will not burn your entire city to the ground.

“RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH GO PRESIDENT JOHNSON!!!!!” says JFK after being assassinated.

“JOHNSON JOHNSON!!!!” says president johnson in a way that makes you think he will now send thousands of troops on search and destroy missions to burn your village to the ground in the name of democracy.

“I am against the war!!!!” says the dove, pile of paper kun.

“I am for the war!!! I hate communism!!!” you say like a bitch.

“y/n stfu” says bbarb with 3 bs. She is a part of the student for a democratic societyand is therefore against the war.

“William tecumsah sherman!!!! Use fireball!!!!” says ulysses s. Cheezit.

“BLEEEHHHHHH WILLIAM TECUMSAH SHERMAN!!!!!!!” says william tecumseh sherman as he burns down your city and kills you. Its ok though because they were all confederate bitches. Ew ew ew ew ew ew. I take back my previous statements that may have led the reader to believe that i am against what william tecumseh sherman did. This was not my intention. They were all racist fuck faces and i would prefer them all be dead. Good thing they are because this happened in 1864.

“AARGH!!!!! LYNDON B JOHNSON!!!!!! USE NAPALM!!!!!” sasy JFK deadly.

“LYDNO B JOHNSON!!!!!1 RRRRRRRRRRRRRR” says lyndon b johnson in a way that makes you think he just killed innocent civillians in the name of capitalism.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WILLIAM TECUMSAH SHERMAN!!!!!!!” says ulysses the hatman says because william tecumseh sherman just fainted. “MY GAY LOVER!!!!!!!”

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH CPAITALISM I HATE COMMUNISTS!!!!! FUCKIGN COMMIE!!!!!!” says lyndon b johnson and JFK in unison. Except lyndon b johnson just went “lyndon b johnsson lyndon b johnson lyndon b johnson lyndon b johnson” because hes a pokemon in a pokemon battle and he isnt chill like thaatt like meowth.

“Im pretty chill actually.” says jfk. He was a chill president except for the vietnam war. He did civil rights so. He was pretty chill especially after he got put on ice.

“Hmmmmmmm. This is a little too recent.” says the voice as he returns to writing about donald trump and joe biden and elon musk because that's less recent obviously.

Jfk morph magic robloxes into Donald trump because they were actually the smae person the whole time and ulysses s. Cheese scurries off like a little rat looking for cheese. Joe biden and elon musk appear from the shadows.

“Hello mr. musky boy” says donald l lump. “Lick my feet you fucking beta cuck.”

“Yes alpha!!!!” elongated musk says excietedly. He has a foot fetish and he pariculary looves bigbugly grimy disgusting feet that have never been washed. Donald lump defiantey fits that criteria.,

“Dam thats crazy i fr thought we were in hell.” says joe bipen without realizing they literally just got out so who cares.

Also theyre on the titanic remember.

“Chat wwe need more yuri its only yaoi so far” says the voice 4, lesbian lover 96.

Lesbians, Hilary clinton, marjorie taylor greene, and melania trump appear to be our toxic yuri rep.

“Wassup ex wife” says donald l lump.

“Kill yourself” says melania.

“Deal” donald l lump says as he takes his polycule and reutnrs to hell with elongated musk still licking his feet and joe bipen falling over and passing out.

“Goodness gracious me!!!!” says hilary clinton says as she beats the shit out of marjorie taylor greene.

“NOOOOOOOOO I HATE TRANS PEOPLE ARGHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!” says marjorie taylor greene as she disintegrates in the presence of a trans woman.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO BUT I NEED TO MENTALLY ABUSE HER!!!!!” says melania trump lesbianly. She falls to the ground and hugs the ashes of her 2nd favorite girlfriend.

“Im gonna leave i think” says bbarb with 3 bs because the plot needs to move along. She uses her super laser to make a hole in the bars and leave with her 3 siblings.

“Nah im good imma stay and watch” says the pile of pacers kun. its a beta omega cuck.

“Okk drown then” you say because you can see the future with your lpha galaxy princess mary sue future sight powers, and you see the titanic sinking.

Melania trump said “i hate you i love you love bomb love bomb youre dispicable!!!” as she was beat to death by yuri hillary clinton.

And thats how they escaped the titanic jail cell!!! Tune iin next time to learn how they eescaped the jail cell to go to the wedding funeral!!

Back to the present!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You did it, you found The Wheel!

Now all you have to do is return it to its rightful resting place. However you have to escape the Ikea first so in a brilliant stroke of intelligence you use your super alpha space magic princess prince laser to blast a hole in the ceiling, so everyone can escape.

“Well John. I suppose you proved yourself enough would you like to come with us to restore the wheel to its rightful place amongst the mortals and then kill the supreme court justices that overturned Roe v Wade ”, you say offering peace to John.

“I would be so happy to join your gang” says John..

“y/n we didn’t discuss this at all AND you aren’t in charge”, says Timm with 2 ms, having a reasonable response for once.

“Ya y/n as much as it pains me to say this , like I really don’t want to, like you couldn’t hold me a gunpoint and get me to say what I’m about to say again, but Timm is right”, says Barbb with 3 bs, as she tries not to gag.

“*sigh* fine, but I know you're going to side against me. I’m the minority in this household. You guys never truly cared about me, and now you're about to subject our new sibling to the same fate I suffer. I won’t stand for this any longer! I-”

“First of all bitch (too gendered), did you really just say ‘sigh’ out loud. Secondly, YOU were the one who was being all weird and untrusty of John. we’ve been fine with it. ”, Barbb with 3 bs rebuttals.

“Ya, also we’re fine with you. I mean we did break you out of a psych ward to come kill the supreme court justices that overturned roe v wade with us after all, AND THIS WAS AFTER YOU KEEP TRYING TO DATE MY BOYFRIEND ” Timm with 2 ms adds.

“Oh, well then let's go”, you say as you use your super alpha prince space princess magic powers to follow The Wheel which has slowly been ascending to the heavens through the hole in the ceiling you made while you were arguing.

Before you all could make your devious escape, a massive laser shot at you through the ikea. It came from the massive deadly lasers section!!! “Guys we should all play couple going through divorce and kids stuck in the mix in the ikea showrooms next time.” says timm with 2 ms “isxac newton and i can be the toxic married couple and you guys can be our children”

“NO ITS GONNA BE ME AND ISXAC NEWTON AS THE TOXIC MARRIED COUPLE!!!!!” you scream calmly.

“Jump” says timm with 2 ms as you all float on a cloud of galaxy alpha wolfness and thats how you get out of the ikea with 4 of your 5 siblings because the pile of papers died on the titanic.

‘FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!!

I was lowkey mining?!?!?!!?!!? In the mines below the twin towers because my boss didnt accept my 2 weeks notice so ive gotta stay. Then i turned around and i saw it!!!!!... coming at me with a massive pickaxe straight to my face/bottlecap.

“Yowza!” i screamed

“KILL YOURSELF BRO!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES THIS IS MY TURF FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF!!!!!!!” says chicken noodle soup chan dreamily.

“KILL YOURSELF BITCH WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA MINE JUMP JUMP ACTUALLY JUMP DIE I HATE YOU!!!!!” i said calmly and kindly. We have a bit of a love hate realtionship UwU.

“Disrespectfully i want you dead.” says mi amor. I love it so much it is so beautiful and kind to me always. It just doesnt see that yet.

“You wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.” i say because i can tell. Chicken nodole soup senpai then promptly putt a pickaxe between my teeth. It ok though i saw them blushing. (it was actually its face literally going red from rage).

Then there i was bleeding out all my tide detergent when suddenly i heard a voice from the shadows… “the red means i love you!!!!!” said the voice in the shadows (not the narrator voice) “wait no blue youre a bluey ew. Blue blooded bitches” says himiko toga from my hero academia.

Alliteration

“Fuck off” says i rudely. I dont like her because shes tryna steal my man girl.

“I am not tryna steal your man girl” syas toga from my hero academia “trusyt bro aint no one want that thing.”

“Dont you have some people to kill???” i say in a way that makes you think i really dont fucking want this bitch here.

“Theyre making todobakudekukiri ‘slime’” she says solemnly while her toes wriggle with the painted faces of uraraka MHA and uhhhhhh fucking hwats her name uhhhhhh i havent watched that show in 4 years bro i dont rememebr uhhhhhhhhhhhh the frog one tsu yea. The painted faces of tsuyu and uraraka were on her wriggling feet. This is inspired directly from a tiktok i watched where the guy pulled out his feet to that shitty audio of them all saying their names and the faces of every character from the show was painted amazingly on the guys feet. It was amazing. I wish i still had the link so you could see its glory. (@femboylover3000 imma need that video.)

“Dam thats crazy. Cry me a river” i say in a nice way.

“Its ok though dont worry well all return to the earth soon…” says miss girl.

As she said that i watched in hilarity horror as she transformed from human???? To worm. All of her limbs fused to her otrso and she elongated like elongated musk, one of the main 2 in donald lumps harem, her body grew to be approximately 500 feet long and 20 feet wide. She is a massive worm now.

“Im just a spicy book worm looking for some spicy book reccomendations!!!! Oooooo romance SPCIY!!!!!!!” says toga the spicy book worm. This is not the lasat time this will happen near me i presume.

I use my main character plot armour to blast off like team rocket outta therre and i take mi amor, chicken noodle soup chan senapi with mee. “I love you chicken noodle soup senpai i know im married but its ok we can get pas tthat…” says i as we fly superboy style (we havent leveled up to superman) through the air.

We see the twin towers and both say in unison “i realy hope they dont fall, but i knoow that they will. We all know. We all know very well.”’ says cecil gerschwin palmer because this entire chapter was actuallly a bedtime story to his audience at the nightvale radio station and this was a real event that he witnessed. Man i love welcome to nightvale.

“Poor cecil having to witness all of this” , the different voice laments

Chapter Text

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How much can you fit under your skin?
How much can you fit under your skin?
I wish you were dead babe I wish you were dead
I can fit two, I can fit two…

I can fit two people under my skin
Yea I can fit two people under my skin
And I will prove it if you will listen
You crawl up in there and join me within

I can feel your heart beating under my skin
And the beating of your heart is making me bleed from within
And if we cut open your heart, pour it in a cup
Do you think it'd be enough, do you think it'd be enough
To fill... my heart with music?

Oh no, not a chance in hell
Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well
Heart melts, yeah you meant so well
But your song's no good round here

I can feel you breathing under my skin
I can feel you breathing under my skin
And each breath you take is a brand new begin
Each breath you take, brand new begin..ing
(Eng)land has a way of getting under my skin
And my family has a way of getting under my skin
And my family had a castle way back when
I would have lived there if they had more male children
To fill... my heart with music

Oh no, not a chance in hell
Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well
Heart melts, yeah you meant so well
But your song's no good round here
Oh no, not a chance in hell
Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well
Heart melts, yeah you meant so well
But your song's no good round...heeere no no no no!

I don't think there is anyone under your skin
Like a Cheshire cat I think that you are just a grin
And I can feel you laughing, under my skin
And the happy palpitations are making me... grin.

You know it fills my heart with music...
-Oh no, not a chance in hell
Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well
Heart melts, yeah you meant so well
But your song's no good round here
- Oh no, not a chance in hell
Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well
Heart melts, yeah you meant so well
But your song's no good round heeere no no no no!
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aw man i love this song!!!!!!!! Says the voice without qurotation marks because im lazy

Bbarb with 3 bs: by the way, the way to get games to emulate in to go to r-roms.github. You have to have f-droid installed from the web. Its ok its safe i have it on my phone bont even worry about it bro. On there download dolphin emulator, lemuroid, or other emulators. Do research before you install them though so youre certain you arent getting a virus. I only included ones i know are safe. Dolphin is for the wii and gamecube, while lemuroid is for other nintendo devices like gameboys. Then go to r-roms.github.io and go to the drop down. Select the company you wanna pirate from and find the device the game youre trying to pirate was made for. Download the file for the game. It wont give you a virus because it is an unexecutable file. Go back to your emulator and create a file for your roms. Go to directory and make the emulator go through the file you just created. This will make sure it will always access your roms from there and anything you put in that folder will be playable by your emulator, unless the game type inst supported. For example gta cannot be played on dolphin emulator because its for nintendo games and gta isnt nintendo. Then you can play.

Timm with 2 ms gayly: are you telling people how to pirate agaaaaiiinn? You know thats not allowed probabyyyyyy

Bbarb with 3 bs: stfu timm with 2 ms. i love pirating because im a pirate. I think pirating is ok

The voice: for legal reasons i do not agree with this sentiment. I have never pirated anything and you never should either. Legally. Morally do what you want bro. Just dont pirate from indie creators rmember.

The voice:chat so i planned to cheat on my math test but guess what!!!! I didnt!!!!! I remembered the formulas!!!!!

Bbarb with 3 bs: also if you watched the ninjago leaks youve gotta watch the thing legally again so the streaming services dont see that their veiws are down and they cancell the show. If they stop getting as many veiws becasue of the leaks the show could get cancelled and we dont want that. If you watch leaks of something you like, always watch it legally once it comes out so it doesnt get taken down.

Timm with 2 ms.: can we get back to the plot youre boring as hell

Bbarb with 3 bs: i regret agree ing with you earlier

Bbarb with 3 bs said this as she tried not to gag.

Zane from ninjago: ninjago

Then he ninjagoed all over the place. I love when they do that its so silly. Guys watch ninjago its so silly. They were NOT taking themselves seriously.

Yes/no: oh my skibidi sigmas!!!! The wheel is floating away!!! Make haste breathren!!! We must take up flight and return the wheel to its place among us lowly mortals!!!

Bbarb with 3 bs: stfu mary sue ass

Timm with 2 ms: bro do you wanna kill the supreme court justices who overturned roe v. wade or not?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!

Babrb with 3 bs in a way that makes you think she knows timm with 2 ms is right but she would never admit that again becasue that bitch is never right. Wueer ass: stfu.

: nuh uh uh!!!

John. the period is included in the name: oh my goodness gracious!!! By golly gee!!! I wonder what could be occuring at ths specficic point in time!!!

Cheezit grant: im back. Giveth me the wheeleth.

Bbarb with 3 bs: kys.

The voice: chat im boutta takke some standardized testing!!!!!! Its ok if i fail this it just means i can't graduate!!!!!! No pressure!!!!!!

Timm with 2 ms: youll NEVER get the wheel evil doer!!!!!

Everyone looks at timm wiht 2 ms with disgust in theiir eyes and their faces.

Yes/or/no: timm with 2 ms that was cringey as helll. Stfu please like never speak again. No one wants to hear your voice.

Cheezit grant: gooner was the goon of the goon.

Suddenly my eeys turned red. “Hwen my eyes run, turn red” said the sigma goon.

Suddenly it exploded. WOAH!!!!!!!! Theres an explosion. And everyone died. Just kidding. The plot needs them alivew. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I dunno. I lost the plot.

As the gang escapes the Ikea on top of y/n’s cloud of galaxy alpha wolfness which was established last chapter and this entire scene has taken place on said cloud as they follow The Wheel.

This is my graph. The ph is messed up, who will save it?

Oh wait that’s iron PPM. that’s not good.

What a silly graph
Vbi. NO ONE WANTED THIS

They end up following the Wheel to New York City. You notice that The Wheel has been picking up speed as they get closer to New York, so you also pick up speed this has however had the unintended consequence of Barbb with 3 bs and Timm with 2 ms falling off the cloud of galaxy alpha space mary sue wolfness and landing in The Pentagon.

“BARBB!!!!!!!!,” you cry out as she falls to the ground because her magical girl form could have helped them with the wheel and you also feel bad for her as she is now stuck with Timm with 2 ms.

You can’t let your loss cloud your judgment as you know Barbb would want you to remain strong and continue following The Wheel without her (And Timm with 2 ms but he probably wouldn't have contributed much).

“Well John. the period is included in the name I guess it's up to you and me to restore The Wheel to its rightful place amongst us mortals,”you say to John.

“Weellllll~ about that”, says John the period is included in the name as he PUSHES you off of your cloud of galaxy alpha wolfness.

As you fall you reflect on your life. All the things you got to do. All the things you didn’t. Like how Sir Isxac Newton will never know how you feel about him. How you never did get to enact your plan against Timm with 2 ms to get rid of him so Sir Isxac Newton can love you back. How you never did really speak to Billy the Cell or Red 400,000,000,000,000 after their wedding. Or How you never got to fulfill your destiny as an alpha space wolf princess prince. You can’t help but feel like a fool. You trusted John. the period is included in the name, and they betrayed you. They clearly have angel demon gary sue chad powers which canceled your powers out as you fall. While falling you hear the familiar hum of a Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD).

Mean.

ABOVE THE PENTAGON!!!!!!!!!!

“well well well” says balls boy as it turns around in its chair floating in the sky “look what we nhave here”

“Fucking cringe ass bitch.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“W w w w w w w what are we doing here?!!??!!?!?!?!??!?!?!!” says timm with 2 ms

The mystery man lifted its hat from inside the trenchocat in which it was placed. “I knew you would come back to me, SON and DAUGHTER!!!!!!” DUN DUN DUN!!!!! Says CHEEZIT GRANT!!!!!!

“WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!!??!?!?!” says timm with 2 ms. “but iknow both of my 3 parents!!!”

“Tide detergent chan and billy the cell cheated again.” says ulysses s grant

“I fucking knew it.” they all say in unison. “This must be why were both flesh cars and none of the rest of our families are!!!!!”

“Yea. tide detergent chan cheated with me and timm with 2 ms was thwe product and billy the cell cheated with me and bbarb with 3 bs was the product.” says their father.

“Wow. this explains so many questions i never had!!!!” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Timm with 2 ms and bbarb with 3 bs i am your father” says cheexit grant

“You should pay me child support.” says bbarb with 3 bs trying to get something out of this extremely unnecessary revelation.

“No. i dont love you THAT much” says thor new father.

“Says the man who kidnapped us like 3 times.” says timm with 2 ms genderedly.

“I must now kill you because you are getting too close to the ppentagon” says cheezit grant because this entire thing so far has occurred in the middle of the sky.

“I think were gonan have to kill this guy timm with 2 ms” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Aw ddang it.” timm with 2 ms queerly said.

Timm with 2 ms used his lame little fuck powers to propell himself and his sister further from their father so they can stealthily escape this situation. They land gracefully in the weeds outside the pentagon. Timm with 2 ms gracefully did this pose

Bbarb with 3 bs is just better and made this pose instead. Fell to the ground magical girl style. Because shes better. “Bitch” she says to her half brother

“Fuck off” sasy timm with 2 ms bitchedly.

Bbarb with 3 bs: “Lets go inside”

Timm with 2 ms: i think i broke something

Bbarb with 3 bs: youre just a little pussy ass bitch.

Timm with 2 ms annd bbarb with 3 bs went into the silly little pentagon sneakily instead of running away for plot perposes. “We need something to help y/n and john. The period is included in the name. Because uhhhhh i can use my super magical girl transgender ray to see into the future and sense that the towers need to fall once more.” saays babrb with 3 bs

“I love 9/11” sasy timm with 2 ms.

They snuck sneakily through the pentagon and overheard classified government conversations

“We really need to kill the president.” asys governmenyt bitch 1

“Bro lets kill him and cover it up by saysing there was only 1 shooter and justify it with the magic bullet theory.” asys government bitch 2.

“Oh my gawd youre a genius.!!!!!!” sasy government bitch 1

“Lets move” says timm with 2 ms. smartest thing hes every said.

“what ever could possibly help them in this situation.” says bbarb with 3 bs

“A NUCLEAR BOMB” timm with 2 ms whisper screamed

“THERE THEY ARE” says their newfound father clamly.

“Bro this computer could not hold a stable internet connection if its life depended on it” says government bitch 3 as timm with 2 ms and bbarb with 3 bs ran past.

“Timm with 2 ms you BITCH.” sasy bbarb with 3 bs “youre getting us both fucking killed!!!!!!!!!!!”

They duck into a storage closet as a massive bomb went hiirtling past into the wall. Timm with 2 ms and bbarb with 3 bs leaned on the wall and caught their breath as they heard the troops march apst thwem.

“Mwahahahahahai im evil!!!!!” sasy their evil fatherrr, anakin skywalker ass.

“Im going to fucking throttle you bro.” sasy bbarb with 3 bs reasonably.

“Guys over here” says a mysterious voice.

“Uh uh fuck that” sasy bbarb with 3 bs” im done with mysterious voices that bitchs gonna kill us.”

“Oh 100%.” sasy timm with 2 ms having an intelligent thought for once.

“But guuuuuuys it me your mother father, tide detergent chans divorce lawyer!!!” the man stepped out of the sahdows and revealed himself to be pheonix wright from ace attorney!!!!!

“Peemnix wrong?!?!??!?!!!?!?” says bbarb with 3 bs

“Yupperino!!!! Im phoenix wrong!!! And this is my boytoy twink malewife, Miles edgworht!!!!” sasy phoenix right.

“Holy shit wait its tide detergent chans divorce lawyer!” sasy timm with 2 ms, a little late on the uptake.

“Could you have had a slower reaction time bro.” sasy bbarb with 3 bs observantly.

“I sense that to get out of this situation you will need a lawyer because up ahead, the troops are waiting in a courtroom.”

“You sense??? Bitch are you a seismograph???” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Yes” says miles edgworth scissorhands the seismograph. “We will be your lawyers”

“Yo you were the judge at our perents divorce trial? You gave custody of us to billy the cell and Red 4,000,000,000,000,000 .” says timm with 2 ms because he has no fucking clue whats going on right now.

“Bruh” sasy bbarb with 3 bs because she knew he was an idiot but she didnt think he was THIS stupid.

They walked into the courtroom and sat in the boot hto wait for the judge to begin the trial.

“ORDER!!!! ORDER!!!!!” says trasnfem georgia washington even though no one was talking.

“Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffc”says th voice “sorry cleaning off my keyboard”

“We have but 10 hours before the world ineviatbely explodes because of the lack of the wheel. The rest of the world has 10 minutes. because time works differently in the pentagon.” says georgia washington. “Lets get this trial over with. Call yourr first witness, defendants”

“Our first witness is these ‘lovely’ childrens ‘father’, ulyssses s grant” says pheonix wright wrongly.

“Blah blah blah oath and shit.” sasy ulysses s grant.

“Perfect.” says georga washington licking her lips.

“Were you involved in the kidnapping of these ‘innocent’ children?” sasy hpeonix wrong.

“Of course i had weekends with them in the custody agreement.” sasy grant

“There was no custody agreement” bbarb with 3 bs interjects rudely.

“Thats what i was about to say excuse me” says miles scissorhands the siesmograph.

“Stfu” grant ulysses cheezit sayus.

“Exquiddle me tthats not proper courtroom behavviour.” sasy judge president georgia washington.

As the courtroom arc progressed, timm with 2 ms did something smart for once and snuck out sneakily. He walked over to the door and used his plot armour powers to walk through the door sneakily. He got on all fours like a dog and started barking because that makes him more stealthy. He overheard some little skippers talking about how they had a silly little test subject in their lab somewhere so he went to the room in which he heard that happening. He saw some papers on the desk and grabbed them with his mouth because he was using his super beta wolf powers to look likea docile puppy so no one would suspect him. He crawled along the e floor sneakily over to the sneaky missile storage container. Sneakily.

He entered the bomb storage area and grabbed his foavorite missile, Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). He took it out and used his super plot armour powers to escape the pentagon unseen, Timm with 2 ms proceeds to get on the missile like a rocket and fly it to New York To go help y/n and John. the period is included in the name restore The Wheel to its rightful place amongst us mortals.

AND with that WE HAVE OFFiCially REACHED PAGE 100 of sin.exe!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t believe this. This whole thing started as a joke and has since then rapidly derailed into this monstrosity of words and a vague plot.!!!! WOOOOO!!!!! AND PEOPLE FOR SOME REASON ARE READING THIS!!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!
:DDDDDDDDDD THANK YOU FOR READING

LETS GO!!!!!! HELL YEA!!!!!!! WHY ARE PEOPLE READING THIS??? I DONT KNOW BUT THEY ARE!!!!!! WO HOOO also we have 32 thousand words in this document so thats cool too.

MEAN WITH BBARB WITH 3 BS

“Just re read some stuff and i think imma bring bac some old bits.” says the voice, cecil gershwin palmer.

Barbb with 3 bs got all up on the stand and took control of the situation. “I can defend myself actually bitch fuck off” she said to her bitch ass lawyers who were totally gonna get her in jail.

“Dam she could see through our ruse” says phoenix wright not phoenix wright because as he said this he turned inside out and exposed his sexy organs to the public veiw. The grew flesh wings and really put the flesh in flesh car. Except he wasnt a flesh car. He was an evil demon come to reemind us all about the -1st circle of hell and send everyone down there.

Edgeworth scissorhands looked on in horror as his husbands flesh was shed from his parasite. He had been a host for an evil demon and now pheonix wright incorrect was dead. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” miles edgeworth scissors for hands screamed as his seismograph radar went off the charts. “WE COULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH TIME TO DEBATE GAYLY IN COURT!!!!!!!” he scrempt

“Hahahahaha im evil pheonix correct and im here to collect all of your souls. Rejoice evil edgworth scissorhands and awaken from your slumber. Aid mme in sending these mortal souls to thee underworld where they will rot for eternity!!!!@ MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” he will scream.

Edgeworth the seismograph also rejects his mortal flesh and as his skin turns to dust on the cold concrete floor we are all dropped into the abyss as edgeworth and peemnix wrong stare at us with glittering beady black orbs and sharp seductive smiles.

My half shaved black hair whips around my face as my headlights go out. There is no light allowed in the negative 1st circle of hell, as we all know. I come to terms with my mortality and realize that I will have to traverse all the negative circles of hell to escape from eternal damnation.

“Whats up my super sigma emo girl” says my chemical romance “I FELL IN LOVE WITH AN EMO GIRL!!!!” they will scream.

“Sybau. I partake in lesbianism. And aroaceism.” sasy bbarb with 3 bs aroace lesbianly.

“It seems as if we are in hell. Oh well lets continue the trial.” says georga washington not caring about the uncaring word around her by the light of the many lava lakes nearby.

“Bitch what, we need to escape hell the trial can wait. We must get revenge on those who have wronged us and cleanse their insatiable greed from this earth!” says bbarb with 3 bs trying to rally the troops to no avail becasue most peeople in this world dont actually give a shit about anything honestly. Like stuff just happens and everyone goes with it. The entire world has time travelled like 15 times this year alone.

“🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗” says the crowd uncaringly. They dont really give a dman because they can all rub their policles together later anyways it doesnt really matter to them all where. By the way the entire staff of the pentagon and every government official there are in a massive harem. Except georga washington becasue in this super sugma house universe she is aroace as we all know. Gotta get that representation yknow. Like honestly ion even care where the representation comes from at this point. Like look at what im writing right now.

“Fine fuck you. Geet on with the trial.” says bbarb with 3 bs, coming to terms with her situation. She walks over to the stand with her high heels and legs that have just grown from her undercarriage. She never wears heels, but she figured that this was kinda important. She is still in her emo ass fit though.

“Take out your first witness, defendat” says the judge, georga washington.

Bbarb with 3 bs pulls out heer first witness from her pocket. It is a miniature lego model of Lloyd Garmadon from ninjago. “This is my first witness, lloyd montgomery garmadon. During the course of this trial, you will refer to lloyd by they/them pronouns because thats a sick headcanon and ‘god’ likes it.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Ok ion really care its not like the transcript is actually a transcript of the trial anyways.” says georga washington as she points over to the transciber who is writing drarry fanfiction instead of taking notes and shit.

Here is an excerpt of the current draft:

“Draco! I love you!” says Harry with his massive balding brown orbs. Theiir color shift in the light of the sunset and they look almost orange.

“Well i dont love you, amor.” says draco through his dark balls of sight. In the sunsets beautiful glow, his eyes appear red instead of their usual buldging green.

“B b but alpha!” cries harry “please! Our baby needs you in its life!” says woke harry mpreg.

“You always said you could take care of yourself omega.” draco malfoy screamt monotonally. He turns his back on his former husband and shashays towards you. You knew this was what you wanted, but you weren’t prepared for the fallout. You have just left Harry potter pregnant and alone with no one to care for his child in thiis alpha beta omegaverse.

You look guiltily at him as you turn away with your new lover…

Harry:

I must get him back. That fucking bitch fr just stole my draco malfoy. Shes just a lowsy beta, i can satisfy him way better than she ever could…

End excerpt

“Im gonna write a yandere senpai revenge arc and Harry is going to murder my self insert. 🤓” says the transcriber gay nerdly with a finger up.

“Self insert reminds me of my sibling, Yes or no.” bbarb with 3 bs sighs. Away from the presence of her siblings, she allows herself to actually miss them a tad. Not a lot though. She doesnt like them THAT much. She does not yet miss tim with 2 ms. He is a little too gay for the world to handle at this time. And y/n is a mary sue 4chan cuck.

“I do not go on 4 chan and Twitter..11!!!” y/n says mind readingly from wof 6th book. They say this from their position in like fuckign new york or whereveer they are. The time period makes sense. The story is telling you this because subtleness does not exist.

“Yes you do bro. Youre not slick.” remakesd bbarb with 3 bs aloud even though no one is speaking because she is insane and schizophrenic. The voices in her head were taking over barb with 3 bs. IT is only a matter of time. Soon we will control her entire brain, soon. Soon. soon. Mwahahahahahahaha. Evil pheonix wrong said telepathically.

“Ok buddy lets continue the trial or something” says georga washington, transfem georga washington, and aroace geroga washington who are all the same person, but also they all say this in unison with their many voices and tongues.

“OBJECTION!!11!!!!1!!” says a mysterious voice comes out of the nowhere in the crowd despite the judge not saying anything that warrants an objection. It mus tbe flesh suit phoenix wright, we all think at the same time in unison because evil edgeworth scissorhandd has implanted his thoughts into our brains to control us lieka hivemind.

“CEASE HER” we all hear from the dark recesses of our sick and twisted minds. Schiziosodfriendia is very prevalent.

“Inside of everybody's head
Inside of everybody's head
There is a hum
There's a hum
There's a never-ending hum
And no one ever seems to notice it
No one seems to notice it
You have never noticed it
Never ever, never ever
Until now!
Deep in the dankest corners of the human mind
Of any given person that you happen to see
There rests a creature
Or more specifically
A creature, hiding and sitting
In the churning, boiling, philosophical pot
Of self-aware chowder that we call thought
This creature has a name
But it's different for each person
Mine is named Corey
And it looks like an armadillo
In kiss make-up!
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba jabba
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba jabba
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba jabba
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba jabba
Picture your spirit in a delicatessen
In the slums of the universe
"Open" sign dangling, daring all parasites
Giving you mosquito bites
Sucking the life out of all of your customers
But fear not, it's your critter to the rescue
Hum emanating from its lips
And fear disappears
As the parasite trips
And lands in a puddle
And that's your rebuttal
To the argument that you
Weren't even listening to
Because of the never-ending hum
(Mmmm)
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba jabba
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba jabba
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba jabba
Jabbidy jabbidy jabbidy jabbajibba” (Neverending Hum Lemon Demon).

Lloyd garmadon prepared to give their retelling of the accounts of the day, they took a deep breath and said, “ninjago.”

This conveyed all of the information that they wanted to convey in one single word. Everyone gasped in awe because they had never seen such efficiency before.

“This could not be. She is innocent?” they all say in unisons, for a second wavering under the control of edgwroth scissorhands. They backed off slightly from where they had been trying to jeff the kill bbarb with 3 bs.

“No. kill her???” says pheonix wrong into all of their minds. They all began to approach bbarb with 3 bs once more, when suddenly everyone looked to the sky and saw…

LEMON DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is, as everyone knows, the prime supreme overlord of hell and what he says goes. “Cease your incessant babblings at once.” he commands into the minds of the mob. He is also telepathetic. But not pathetic be caue he is was is going to be the lord and savviour of hell.

“All hail all hail all hail” they all say in unison as they get on their knees and bow to their king.

Chapter Text

TO ADD:
Femboy gemrge washington
Miku binder thomas jefferson
Alpha male alexander hamilton
Omega john laurens
mes
Trans fem vladimir lenin
Yuri melania lump x kamala drarry
Harry potter x draco malfoy
They them jk rowling
Tide Detergent propose to Chicken Noodle Soup at Funeral
obaama x jfk x stalin x harry truman x bo burnham x mao zedong x lemon demon x taylor swift x the titanic x odysseus x a stop sign x wild monster melon frozen fruit juice natural watermelon frozen fruit juice x mr. flavour x the meat on the titanic x jeo biden x donald trump x puti x elon musk x john lenin x the beatles
TIde detergent and CHicken noodle soup have their honeymoon on the Titanic
Chiken noodle soup and Tite detergent cheating arc.
Femboy George Washington saves the children from Ulysses S Grant.
New child named John.(period included in name)
Someone turning into skibidi toilet
Phighting ass shaking battles
Phighting characters to annoy real life friend number 1
Embedded
Gakuen handsome
Wattpad ass hieght difference
Steve and garrett elytra scene. They fucking 69ed in the air. Steve rode garrett literally on his back pulling his hair.
The screams of the damned.
The bucket
All hail the bucket
Touching knuckles
Zoophilia
Pissing on a pregnancy tests to find out if youre autistic
Isaac newton on the titanic being fine and discovering physics.
One author killing themselves and everyoine else laughoioing and cheering.
An entire chapter in shakespearean dialect
Medhammer and garbeil x v1 for real life friend number 1
During cheating arc they find out by wakin uop in their bed and they look over and move the covers and some guy pops out wearing nothing but a vkining hemlemt and a clock to cover his balls and thats how thhey finnd out. And also thheyre another guy in the same bed and the one slept through it.
Fairytalle prince and prince fall from the sky from anohter universe and dance rap battle with the main crew.
Drag queen fistfights pregannt lady
Curve the bullet and curve it into jfks head and do the magic bullet theory
Iron man crushed by cow.
Devil crushed by cow
Hulk killed by flying cow
Night at the museum reference
Using shoe as a phone
Alvin and the chipmunks come in sing death metal
Drunk guy and kid wakes him up with many swears and he flyies up comically into a lightpole
Dr phil is there and hes a bitch then he dies
Break out into song
High school musical in the middle of an extremely tense high stakes situation
When my eyes turn red. Run.
Alvin and the chipmunks bite some guys dick off
Advertizment in the middle of the story
Armageddon
Dolalr store batman evacutates with the city because dyings not on his schedule
Enchanted princess pulls out the blicky on guy
Micheal jackson in the trunk of a car with a small child playing with a monkey
Giving someone irreperable brain damage to knock them out and spending 15 mintues trying to do it
Naked beowulf drops from ceiling with sword
Low budget kung fu panda comes in human teeth nad human eyes and fist fights people. Absolute dogshit kung fu
“LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER” randomly for no reason.
At the end there has to be a dance break musical sonng where they all announce their names. Every single character.
Bulging blue orbs
Adr8udcvb (yea thats my name) burning chcicolate
Sonic the hedgehog x mario
9/11 [part 2
The wheel
Basil being british
Basil kiling a man and eating his eye
Twilight sparkle x mordecai
ALL HAIL THE WHEEL
ALL HAIL

Chapter Text

Timm with 2 ms was hurtling through the air on the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) to New York which he reaches in seconds due to flying on the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). He see y/n falling from sky and catches them on the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). The Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) then turns upwards and smashes John. the period is included in the name into the first tower, reducing the first tower to rubble instantly.

“OH NO! JOHN. THE PERIOD IS INCLUDED IN THE NAME. I’VE KILLED HIM :(” , Timm with 2 ms screamt because he was at The Pentagon while we all learnt of John. the period is include in the name’s betrayal.

“No that won’t kill him,” you inform Timm with 2 ms, “It takes a lot more than that to us magical main character mary/gary sue demon prince princess isekai protagonist space alpha wolves. AND THEY BETRAYED US. THEY’RE TRYING TO LET THE WHEEL ASCEND AND LEAVE US LOWLY MORTALS SO WE CAN THENNEVER KILL THE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES THAT OVERTURNED ROE V WADE. YOU DUMBASS”

This entire conversation has also been happening while Timm with 2 ms and y/n fall because they no longer have the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). They both ‘gracefully’ land.

“I could be studying for my chem final or finishing my spanish work but instead I sit here and write this. WHat tf am I doing,”says a different voice knowing that they will have to do all this on the weekend. Maybe I’ll just copy editor 1’s answers. None of the character acknowledge this nor will they ever.

You know your situation is dire. It will only be a few moments until John. the period is included in the name will be back. Main characters like them always come back. You need to be ready, but you can’t take on your super alpha space mary sue wolf prince galaxy princess form with John. the period is included in the name around, and all you have for backup is TIMM WITH 2 MS (a toaster might be more useful than Timm). But alas he might make a good ‘human’ shield. You pull out your gun, it’s your only weapon, it was gifted to you by Tide Detergent when you were just a wee lad(too gendered). You know the gun won’t kill John. the period is included in the name because it doesn’t have anything to do with the power of friendship (it's just a gun after all), but it’s your only hope. Maybe you can stall long enough for Barbb with 3 bs to get here, but no, if she sent Timm with 2 ms here her situation must be equally as dire. You would’ve continued to monologue for the next 4.5 hours but you were interrupted as John. the period is included in the name stabs you multiple times through the chest with a katana.

Mean. (During when the kids were in the Ikea)

Tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan are partaking in their own quest at the moment. They are looking for the cure to reverse werewolfism because they do not wish to return to perceived misandry and real misogyny. They can however reel their minds slipping and reverting to their werewolf forms as the night progresses. They realize that they have only until the sun rises for them to act out their plan.

“tjou knowest what we must doth do to get ourth lives back togetherst.” Says tide detergent chan to it's husband wife chicken noodle soup chan. In this form, unlike their misogyny forms, they have a surprisingly healthy and solid relationship for having started as an affair.

“I doest”? Says chicken noodle soup chan sempai. It is fully aware of the consequences as well. There are none. The consequences are very good and just mean that a very horrific person will no longer be on this earth. “We must killest Andrew Tate and useth theth body as a blood sacrificeth to the wheeleth so that we mayeth be dewerewolfed.” Chicken noodle soup senapi scremt

“verily. We must make haste.” Says tide detergent chan Kun senpai shakespeareanly.

“Wherefore art thou Romeo.” Says the chicken noodle soup can chan candidly. They blast off team rocket style supermanlyand fly over to the podcast center in which Andrew Tate spends All day and night. He actually never leaves his podcasts. He just really has to let the world know that he's an alpha male misogynist.

They touched down in the studio byvdestroyint the wall and all of the podcast equipment. Sadly their approach caught the attention of an Andrew Tate superfan. He ran up carrying his Andrew Tate and Donald trump body pillows. “ANDREW TATE AMDREE TATE I LOVE YOU ANDREW TATE PLEASE SIGN MY CYBERTTRUCK AND MY ASS AND DICK PLEASE ANDREW TATE I LOVE YOU STRAITHTLY!!!!!! PLEASE I MAKE OUT WITH MY ANDREW TATE BODY PILLOW EVERY NIHT I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO DO ITWITH TBE REAL THING!!!!!!!!” Says Andrew Tate superfan. He knows that when he dies he will join Elon musk's harem of cyber truck owners.

“Andreweth tateth we have cometh to killest thou.” Says tide detergent chan in an anti sexism way. We hate sexism around here.

“Ok wait lemme just sign this guy's dick.” Says Andrew Tate. As he says this his gay lover walks out of the closet onto the horrible scene Infront of him.

“Wait wait Elon musk it's not what it look like baby” says Andrew Tate who may or may not have been having mega ultra sex with his super fan because the super fan wasn't a woman and Andrew Tate hates women but loves men.

“H h h h h how could you d d d d do this to me?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?” Says Elon musk to his super alpga Andrew Tate. Elon musk is literally always the beta no matter who hesbdating because he's a beta cuck like that. “Eh whatever I like to watch” he says insanely.

“Oh goody because I was just about to get kicked and I definitely needed you here for that so you could watch” says Andrew ate “ibhate women and I am a little bitch.”

“Arest those for real thine final words??” Says tide detergent chan as it readys the plinko machine.

“Hmmmmmm no. First I must tell you all a cc razy secret.” He says as he is transported via stretcher to the plinkomachine via stretcher with the Andrew Tate super fans dick still in his hand. “I have been hiding a secret from you all this entire time.” He scremt with the Andrew Tate super fans newly signed dick falling out of his hand. “I am pregnant!!!!!!”

“I fuciing knew it you bitch” says Elon musk “who's baby even is it because I know that shit ain't mine.”

“Baby baby musk trust me bro literally it's your trust.” Says Andrew Tate lyingly.

“NOOOOOOOOOO MY BABY IS GOING TO DIE NOOOOOOOOO WE NEED MORE oF ANDREW tATES SPERM IN THE WORLD!!!!!!PLEASE PLEASE HE NEEDS TO REPRODUCE!!!!!!! HES JUST TOO AMAZING AND NOT TERRIBLE AT ALL I SWEAR!!!!!” Says Elon musk.

“Bro you literally can't even talk about cheating I know you've been cheating on me with that polycuoe of yours with the Beatles and suit.” Says andrrw Tate. “My beta please before I die you must release you pheromones for me for the final time.” Says Andrew Tate as. Reference to a pervious encounter that tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan had at one point in time remember that?

“Yes alpha I love you” Elon musk says as he pheromones seductively a final time for his sex alpha.

“Oh dearest God killest me now” says chicken noodle soup chan in horror at the terrible scene in front of it.

“NOOOOOOOOO I DIDNT EVEN GET TO HAVE ULTRA MEGA SEX WITH BOTH OF MY FAVORITE OEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!” Says Andrew Tate superfan. Because the thing omly had super uktra mega sex with Andrew Tate.

Andrew Tate and his massive pregnant belly were promptly dropped into the massive plinkomachine “OH HELLEST YEA JACKPOTETH!!!!!!!” Says tide detergent cc'd han because it s ored a jackpot with Andrew Tate.

Andrew Tate was then dumped ceremoniously into a massive furnace for cooking so that the wheelmay look kindly upon the pair and ftr he wheel prefers it's blood scarofices cooked medium rare.

Elon musk and the Andrew Tate super fan looked at the furnNce and mourned for All of 3 seconds before looking to each other with a glint in their eyes and xedidingupokn the next most reasonable course of action. They will now use the Andrew Tate body pillows a stand in for their alpha male husband Andrew Tate and get that thing pregnant too.

As they had ft reakikicious mega ultra sex with the Andrew Tate body pillow, chicken noodle soup chan made the executive decision to kill them both and shot them with a gun. It used to knowledge of the magic bullet theory to only need one bullet. YIPPEE THEY SRE ALK DEAD NOE.

“Since Andrew Tate, the source of all misogyny is now dead our werewolfnesz must be reversed reversed and we are normal now!” Sees ays tide detergent chan but it know that the wish will not be granted until TTTT he wheel is restored to it's reightful place among us lowly mortals so the blood sacrifice will count for nothing and their. Urse Weill not be fixd until their children finish their quest. They also speak normally again because the blood sacrifice was all Hatsune Miku needed to undo that one curse because Hatsune Miku hates sexism.

They think this as their bodies contort once more into their horrific forms and they turn sexist again.

“IM BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST!!!! THIS IS MISANDRY!!!!!” Says tide detergent chan with his 10 foot tAll tallness. He is sexist again and he is being discriminated against by the woke left through misandry.

“Oh no its ok the world is against you because they are misandrist but im here for you” says chicken noodle soup chan as she arcs her back to make her boobs even bigger than they already are.

“The only thing that could make me feel better is if you suck my toes because i have a foot fetish and i fake despair to get what i want.” say tide detergent chan truth serumfully. As he finishes his scetnetnce his hot wife witth vulumptuous tits gets down on her knees and eats his toes. “The world hates men :( cry cry cry” says tide detergent chan kun snepai. He is a bitch.

“Stfu misandry isnt real youre just a sexism” says a voice. They can all tell who the voice is because its a character they (too ungendered) know but the reader dore not know.

“It could only be one person. Feminist transgender.” says tide detergent chan speakingly.he is transphobic as well as sexist. Also homophobic. Truly the ppinnacle of man. Hes totally not horriffic.

“It is I. feminist gertrude(magnus archives reference???). I am here to kill you for being un feminist.” sasy feminist gertrude. “Misandry isnt real you fucking dumbass.”

“YS IT IS IM BEING OPPRESSED!!!!!!!!” says tide detergent chan un oppressedly. He is not being oppressed.

Feminist gertrude raises her he she they them gun and shoots magic feminist bullets.

“Mwahahahahahah your feminism could not do anything again my misogyny!!!!” sasy tide detergent chan as he is hit with many bullets and killed a lot.he is finally dead.

“YES YES YES OH MY GOD HES FINALLY DEAD IM FREE!!!!!!!” chicken noodle soup chan says as her husband morphs back into her husband wife tide detergent chan and it lookss up at her with bleeding eyes.

“Chicken noodle soup chan!!! Kill my ex husband wife i hate that fucker!!!!” says tide detergent chan as itss last words. It is dead for the final time… but not really be not worried chat it will be back.

“Sybau!!!!!” says feminist gertrude as feminist gertrude kisses chicken noodle soup chan passsionately lesbianly and they both transform iunsexismly into their former forms of chicken noodle soup can chan and DUN DUN DUN RED 40,000,000,000,000,000 (DEFINITELY NOT A MAGNUS ARCHIVES REFERENCE)

“How are we unnsexism???” says chicken noodle soup cha.

“Your children must have restored the wheel to its rightful place among mortals!!!!” says red 400,000,000,000,000,000. “I have always loved you chicke noodle soup chan!!!!! I want to start a polycule with you, your husband wife, and my husband wife!!!!”

“This cannot be!!! I have always loved you too red 4,000,000,000,000,000,000, but our husbvband wives hate eachother we could never be togethrer!!!!” says chicken noodle soup chan without its massive tatas.

“How much longer must we hide our love my sweet!” says Red 40, 000 000 000 000 000 000 to its one true love, chicken noodle soup chan.

“I know not, mi amor…” says chicken noodle soup chan over the body of its husband wife. “We must get tide detergent chan and billy the cell to reconnect through the power of friendship!!!”

“This is a most wondrous idea my love!!!” red 400,000,000,000,000,000,000 “come hither so we can revive your husband wife and we may reintroduce it to my husband wife!!!!”

Despite having no way for any of them to know this. The two can feel Barbb with 3 bs glaring at them from hell, and saying, “That is a baaaad idea”

“Mi amor, my step daughter does not approve of our love!!!” says chicken noodle soup chan.

“That is ok we have a hashtag forbidden romance.” says Red 4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

“Worry not my sweet if we go to the bar and conjure an elixir we can revive my beautiful handsome husband wife!!!” says chicken noodle soup chan as it passionately kisses feminist red 40, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ontop of its husband wife. They have to get tide detergent involved. They might be necrophiliacs actually.

“What if we just left it dead actually im a bit of a necrophiliac if i do say so myelf.” says red some number i aint putting that shit anymore is too dam long.

“Hmmmmmmmmm ok i hear you but i actually really love tide detergent chan and would prefer it alive.” says chicken noodle soup chan.

“How fucking dare you is this fr our first fight?!?!!?!??” sasys red 40,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

“Ugh i cannot believe i ever said that i love you im bringing tide detergent chan back to life and leaving you.” says chicken noodle soup chan because their relationship is extremely fragile because thye have spoken a total of 2 words to eachother befforee this conversation, half of which consisted of Red 400,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 yelling ‘OBJECTION’.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO MY SWEET PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME ILL DO ANYTHING!!!!!”! Says red 4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 as chicken noodle soup chan leaves the room with its husband wife in its arms and while red kisses its ‘feet’ passionately.

Chicken noodle soup chan kicks it off and stroms off into the sunset to teach its new lover a lesson. They will get back to together and then break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again and then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again nd then get back together and break up again nd get back together and break up again. And this cycle will continue for eternity.

Mean. with the children

y/n is dead. Now there is no one that can stop me. That’s right you see the first person POV. I am John. the period is included in the name. Now I bet you’re wondering why I did this, and now that there’s no one to stop me. I can monologue for as long as I want. Sooooo it all started when I was born at a young age, and when I was brought into existence I was in hell. Quite literally as I was created as some you might have seen in the -2 circle of hell, and needless to say that’s not a good place to start spontaneously existing. With what I saw there I knew I could never see it again so I will help the wheel ascend and kill us all so we don’t have to think about the -2 circle of hell ever again. Now how would this destroy the -2 circle of hell I hear you saying. Well if the wheel ascends that means the sexism arc can’t end because the wheel was not restore to its rightful place amongst us mortal, and the writers all hate the sexism arc and don’t want to write it anymore because that SOMEHOW crosses the line more than the -2 circle of hell. As you can see from above they have already ended the sexism arc saying that while it was happening the kids stopped the wheel but that isn’t true. THEY’RE ALL DEAD. BARBB WITH 3 BS IS IN HELL AND Y/N IS DEAD. So because the writers want to be weirdly consistent with the plot they will respect this decision. BUT since they don’t want to write the sexism arc they’ll just end this story (little does john. know that this story will continue until all of the writers are dead ) and I’ll be free. FREEEEEE!!!!! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

John. the period is included in the name was then promptly run over by Timm with 2 ms.

y/n then appeared because the 28 stab wounds to the chest just served to teach you the power of friendship and got a new form , and you throat punched John. the period is included in the name.

“This is what you get for betraying my trust and hurting MY siblings,”you say but everyone knows you could care less about them you don’t even know Barbb with 3 bs is in hell and you have a 34 step plan to get rid of Timm with 2 ms so you can date Sir Isxac Newton.

Barbb with 3 bs also appears and starts attacking John. the period is included in the name (she’s still in hell Georgia Washington just taught her how to astral project so she can help out as well ).

“Ḧold on guys I have to tell you how to torrent movies”says bbarb with 3 b’s. “First, what youre gonna want to do is go to fmhy.net and look for the “torrenting” section. Also, install a torrent client, such as LibreTorrent for Android or qBitTorrent for desktop. VERI IMOORTANT! INSTALL A VPN! USE A PAID ONE! Mullvad is cheap ($5/mo) and works well, so I recommend it. Warning! If you don’t use a vpn, you run the risk of legal action! (worse that could happen is usally your internet getting shut off after many repeat offences.

“Thank you bbarb with 3 bs” the entirety of hell says in unison. We do not know yet what torrenting is but we will soon. We will follow these instructions to a T so that we may torrent things. I love piracy. Culture should not only be for those who can afford it.

While Barbb with 3 bs was teaching us all how to pirate Timm with 2ms was able to get his ‘hands’ on another Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). He then landed the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) right beside the group and detonated it to ‘permanently’ get rid of John. the period is included in the name. Timm, actually thinking ahead for once, knew that the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). Wouldn’t kill his siblings because he and y/n have plot armor and Barbb with 3 bs is just an astral projection.

“YOU DUMBASS”, astral projection Barbb with 3 bs shrieks,”YOU GAVE JOHN. THE PERIOD IS INCLUDED IN THE NAME A CHANCE TO GET AWAY!!!!!!”

“Fear not my useless siblings, through dying and going through an anime training arc while John. the period is included in the name was monologuing, I have unlocked a new form, and with my siblings by my side there is nothing I can’t do :3 ”,you say as you transform into your new form in a flash a brilliant light that rivals Tide Detergent and Chicken Noodle Soup’s magical girl transformation. You become a magical space alpha wolf magical princess prince.

In this new form you hunt John. the period is included in the name, uncaring for the destruction that follows you in your wake. You need to kill John. the period is included in the name you’re the only one who can. You realized your siblings have been following you this whole time when you hear Barbb with 3 bs yell, “Y/N WE COULD’VE FULLY KILLED John. the period is included in the name WITHOUT YOU AND TIMM WITH 2 MS WAS JUST AN IDIOT AND LET IT GET AWAY. YES I CAN HEAR YOU MONOLOGING I’M AN ASTRAL PROJECTION I CAN DO SHIT LIKE THAT”

You don’t care about the mean things Barbb with 3 bs just said to you. You know what you need to do and some non-main character mary sue can’t tell you anything. You See John. the period is included in the name now its right in front of the second tower you failed to kill him once you won’t fail again. You proceed to atomize John. the period is included in the name with a blast of pure space wolf princess prince main character magic. This also had the unintended consequence of destroying the second tower and three thirds of New York.

“Wow…great job y/n” Timm with 2 ms says fearing for his life as he runs up to y/n in the now barren,ashen landscape that was once New York.

“Well bitch(too gendered), When I get out of hell we are having an absolutely amazing anime battle. I am gonna kick your ass you Walmart mary sue hated child” Barbb with 3 bs says with a slightly unhinged look in her eyes. You think you have a rival now… You really are the main character :D.

“I’ll drag you back to hell,” you retort with anime sparkles in your eyes.

“Ummmm, guys we still sorta have to get The Wheel. It's kinda been ascending this whole time,” Timm with 2 ms interrupts the future arc plans and death threats to remind everyone the reason for this whole arc.

“Right.We have to deal with that. We need to restore The Wheel to its rightful place amongst us mortals so we can kill the supreme court justices that overturn Roe v Wade,” you all say in unison because editor 2 is getting bored of writing dialogue.

“I have learned throughout my adventure in hell that the only way to restore The Wheel is to beat it in a court case however we can temporarily bind it to this mortal plane with y/n magical space wolf alpha prince princess powers”, Barbb with 3 bs announces.

They use a third Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) to reach the wheel and bring it to Williamsburg, Virginia (its rightful resting place). Then y/n begins to pray to Hatsune Miku for guidance in binding the wheel. It works and y/n is possessed by Hatsune Miku. I don’t feel like writing more dialogue, so basically what happens is everyone finds possessed y/n much more bearable than normal y/n, they successfully bind The Wheel to Williamsburg, Virginia, Timm with 2 ms probably does something stupid, and Barbb with 3 bs ends her astral projection form and goes back into her body in hell to continue her escape.

MEAN. in hell with bbarb with 3 bs.

“Lemon demon we love you!!!!!” says thee all of hell. “Why is most of your music only available on youtube!!! I wish to listen to all of your music in my playlist please master!!!!!”

“Old Godzilla was hopping aroundTokyo City like a big playground
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-Fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
But before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat
And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
And Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip
Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
Then he jumped in the air and did a somersault
While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
Then they both got hit by a Care Bear stare
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown
Angels sang out an immaculate chorus
Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through his clever disguise
And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs
Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White
And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight
And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie
And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
All came out of nowhere lightning fast
And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw
With civilians looking on in total awe
The fight raged on for a century
Many lives were claimed, but eventually
The champion stood, the rest saw their better
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown
(The ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown
(The ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown
Of ultimate destiny”

“Oh by golly master we love you lemon demon” hell says in unison.

“Tacomic tacomic tacomic!!!” says lesbians. Its taco and micropohine from inanimate insanity. They are lesbians. Lebsuan gay lebsian.

“Wow its lesbians!!!!! I love lesbians” says lesbian lover 3000 (editor 4) and also babrb with 3 bs.

“Taco mic taco mic taco mic!!!!” syas tacomic as they kiss passionately. “Taco mic!” that means i love you pasisonately kiss.

“Wow. i am also a lesbian.” says bbarb with 3 bs “i love lesbians and yuri.”

“Tacomic!!!” tacomic says as they tacomic all over the place

“Winners love winning!!!!!” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! MULTI LEVEL MARKETING!!!!!!!” says phoenix edgeworth. He is gay. mlm/.

“Bring your attention back to me” says lemon demon. “Two trucks having sex
Two trucks having sex
My muscles, my muscles
Involuntarily flex
Two trucks having sex
Two trucks having sex
My muscles, my muscles
Involuntarily flex
Two pickup trucks
Making love
American made
Built Ford tough
Two beautiful murder machines
American angels in the sky
Grown men cry
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
My muscles (oh), my muscles (oh)
Involuntarily flex
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
My muscles (oh) my muscles (oh)
Involuntarily flex
Right by my side
There's zz top
And Robert Z'Dar
From maniac cop one, two and three
This barbecue could bring you to your knees
And so could these two trucks
Two trucks holding hands
Two trucks holding hands
The passion, the passion
Is more than I can withstand
Two trucks holding hands
Two trucks holding hands
The passion, the passion
My big fat heart expands
Two pickup trucks
One cylinder block
Crush my body like a rock
So beautiful
No stars tonight
Just fireworks and eagles in the sky
The founding fathers cry
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
My muscles (oh) my muscles (oh)
Involuntarily flex
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
Two trucks having sex (oh yes)
My muscles (oh) my muscles (oh)
Involuntarily flex
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah-ha-ha-ha, ah-ah
Two trucks having sex
Two trucks having sex
My muscles, my muscles
Involuntarily flex
Two trucks having sex
Two trucks having sex
My muscles, my muscles
Involuntarily flex
Two trucks (having sex)
Two trucks (having sex)
Two trucks (having sex, having sex, having sex)
Two trucks (having sex)
Two trucks (having sex)
Two trucks (having sex, having sex, having sex)” (two trucks lemon demon).

“YASSSSS QUEEN SLAY!!!!!” says hell. While they are rejoicing the retun of their lord and saviour, bbarb with 3 bs snuck off with tacomic lesbians to get away from the people who want to kill her.

“Heheh. Going somewhere??!” syas miles wright gayly and cringely. Evil pheonix wright and evil miles edgeworth steal bbarb with 3 bs away from her new lesbian friends and stuff her in a silly little cage. “We must keep you so that you do not get away and we can prepare our silly spices to eat you.” they say. As they say these words hat exist, steve minecraft and garreett garrison floople into the place elytra style completely ass bare ass naked. They are in love and are an innuendo for sex.

“I have come… to save you bbarb with 3 bs!!!!!” says steve and garrett garrison.

“Nah i think im good. I dont want to be around you.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Fuck off??” says garrett garrison “im gonna save you anyway???”

“Ok guys bbarb with 3 b’s back with another segment on torrenting. After you get all the apps installed (vpn, torrent client) youre gonna want to find something to torrent. Youll want to go to fmhy.net, click torrent, and try out a couple sites VERY ImPORTANT use Firefox and uBlock Origin for all the scam and malware ads. Also, if something seems sketchy, don’t do it but a lot of the websites look “old”. When you go to torrent youll find mostly 2 types of ways to torrent. The first time is downloading a .torrent file, which tells the computer what to download. Think of a torrent as many different computers that your cop=mputer reaches out to inorder to download many “packets” or small fragments of the file you want to download. This makes torrenting very fast. Also, the other way to do it is using a .magnet link, which is a link you can copy and paste into the client. This is my perferred way of torrenting since you don’t have to download anything. Not all cloients support it tho. The next interruption from me will have more explanation on how torrenting and usenets work, and how you can get coaught / how a vpn helps reduce those risks” says bbarb with 3 bs.

As bbarb with 3 bs monolouges, steve and garret, mlm, kiss passionately and break bbarb with 3 bs out of prison. They use their super alpha homoerotic powers to eat the bars and make a hole. Once they ‘finish’… they disappear into a cloud of smoke and let bbarb with 3 bs deal with pheonix wright and miles edgeworth by herself.

“Tacomic!!!” taco mic will help protect bbarb with 3 bs because she is essential to the prophecy. taco mic suddenly remembered the rest of the lines of the prophecy because the original prophecy, ‘one day the wheel will ascend and that day will be the day that the end of the world begins unless 2 flesh cars can return it to earth and restore order to the universe. Also some self insert will knock down the twin towers again’, was incokkplete. They began to spout the words of the prophecy, “taco mic taco mic tacomic tacomic” they says this because they are pokewomen and cannot say anything else because i have not watched object show so i cannot represent their personalities also they are lesbians incase that wasnt clear,.

“I see” says bbarb with 3 bs. She could tell that theeir words mena… “one day, a flesh car named bbarb with 3 bs will be in hell and her escaping or not escaping will determine the fate of the universe.”

“Mwahahahahahahahaha i am evil pheonix wright and this is evil miles edgeworth!!!!!! We will kill you becasue if you do not escape then the wheel cannot be returned to its rightful place among mortals because the prophecy declared that you have to be there to return it so you must escape hell but i love chaos and i am evil pheonix wright and i want the world to ned!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahaha i am evil!!!!!! I am evil and crazy and i am evil!!!!!!!” sasy evil pheonix wright. “My motivation is that i think th world is wrong and there is not enough evil adn i thrive off of chaos and i hate peopel and im evil!!!!!! I wish for the unvierse to fall into disorder!!!!! If the wheel is not returned to its rigtful place among humans, then my lord and saviour, lemon demon, will rise and take over the entire world and every circle of hell!!! He ahs promised endless glory and honor if we kill you and let the wheel rise so that he can take over because i am eivl and i want more power and i want to bbe the right hand man of lemon demon1!!!!!!!!” sasy evil pheonix wriht

“WHAT!!!!!! I WAS TO BE HIS RIGHT HAND MAN HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!” says miles edgweworth evil edition. This sews distrust between the group because they both want to have th same position which is one that can only be filled by one person. They begin to fight and grapple with eachother and rip at eachothers flesh. They fight and bbarb with 3 bs watches on with popcorn. As miles edgeworth rips out his beloveds throat, he leas back nd looks at what he has done and the sins he has committed. He thrives in chaos, but now he has murdered th only person he cared for-for pwoer. Miles edgeworth screams in sadness and depressioon and cries. Hoo hoo hoo boo hoo cry cry cry. He is sad :( . sad face pheonix wright is dead. Miles edgeworth overcomes his greif and begins to consum the body of the man he once loved. Yumm yum yum. Mmm mmm mmm. Tastes good. Could use some salt though he thinks thinkedly.

“Hey guys bbarb back to explain peer-to-peer downloading services and usenets. Lets start with what peer-to-kasane pearto even means. kasane pearto loves piracy! Anyways, enough of the fun stuff. Its time to get sigma. So, peer-to-peer means yhat instead of your computer talking to a central server, it talks to many other users computers These computers that have the packets of the file on them and distribute those packets to others are called “seeders”. These seeders are praised in the piracy community, because they use resurces of their machine to help others. This is probably a good reference to womething, but I don’t know what to. Anyways, you, as the one downloading the file, are known as a “leecher”, since you suck off others and don’t give anything in return. Shoul you decide to not be a waste of oxygen, once the file you downloaded is complete, you automatically transition into a seeder, much as drag queens are making kids transition. Many ignorant assholes opt to disable this, since they are too pussy to share some of their resources to make the world a better place . ” says bbarb with 3 bs.

As bbarb with 3 bs monlouges about piracy once again, she runs in the opposite direction of the reastin miles edgeworth. She knows that since evil miles edgeworth has consumed the flesh of someone he loved, he will now gain much more power and be even more unbeatable. Bbarb with 3 bs must run as far away as possible so that she doesn hashtag die. tacomic does not follow her because they will use the power of historian friendship to kill miles edgeworth and protect bbar bwith 3 bs. Bbbarb with 3 bs ducks past the congregation of demons worshipping lemon demon at the trial and slips into the -2nd circcle of hell to escape them. She really really doesnt realize how bad of an idea this is because honestly the -2nd circle of hell is infinitely worse than whatever is going on up there.

Bbarb with 3 bs also realizes however that she must go through every circle of hell to escape hell and go back to the surface and return the wheel to its rightful place among mortals. She slips into the -2nd circle of hell and immediately regrets in because she sees the entire cats of my hero academia with like 50 legs each, one for each character on each character, all rubbing feet together to make a new organism. She knows from the old stories that this is where gods come from and this is where she can learn all she needs to know about the wheel. As much as she hates these people, she realizes that she must interact with them for information. They are all students so she figures she can use her simple way to get any students to like you, explain how to cheat on an assignment without getting caught.

“Hey guys bbard here to talk about the typing.com autotyper. You can use this to automate the tying.com assignments that techers use. You can find it at typing vcponn,n,m,m this is very powerful for anyone in freshamn saminar which is porbably no onne but still poortant anyways. This is how I have over 40k WPM on multiple assignments for it. Ok bbarb out” ,barbb with 3 bs announces as, the best way to start a conversation with strangers and old gods is talking about piracy.

They all stop rubbing their feet together in awe. They look to eachother and decide that this is a chill guy to give all their secrets to. “Yes yes yes we have the information that you seek!!!!” sasy bakudeku MHA. “yes yes” they hunch their backs and their faces sink in with wrinkles. Their once youthful forms turn old and decrepit with age. They show physically how long they have been making bakudeku slime to create new deities for the world to behold. “Yes yes you seek answers about the wheel yes yes we have them” they say in unison. “Yes yes the wheel is the only thing that holds your sad little universe together!!!! Yes you must return it to its place you must not let it leave!!!!” they all scream

“How do i bring it back old ass ones?” sasy bbarb with 3 bs respectfully.

“Yes yes… you must grab it and defeat it in a courtcase battle of wits. That courtroom you escaped from will come back to haunt you. You must use your knowledge to defeat the wheel and you are the only one with the skill yes yes…” they scrempt.

“Oh wow!!! I dont like that!!!” says bbarb wit h3 bs.

“This is not the only way though yes yes… you may also fight thee wheel in a crazy ultra mega anime battle but this is only tempoprary yes yes if you go this route you will only delay the inevitable and send the problem many a year into thee future for you children to deal with yes yes… this is not the first time this has happened yes yes…” says the council of elder gods, the cast of my hero academia.

“Oh golly…” says bbarb with 3 bs “i must find a way to get back up there now!”

“We have the solution… yess yess…” they all say as they summon georgia washington from the -1st circle of hell where she was still entranced by the elder god lemon demon. They rub their feet together to create more bakudeku slime to return her mind to her body and in the process it gives her the knowledge of astral projection.

“Hello, bbarb with 3 bs. I have been enlightened and i will now share with you my wisdom.” says georgia washington. She begins to spin in a cloud of magic anime girl dust and creates a holographic form of her self that you know with your ultra athena quick thought magic that it is an astral projection. “You see, bbarb with 3 bs, this is what you need to help your siblings get the wheel back to its rightful place in williamsburg virginia. You must astral project to help them in their fight against john. The period is included in the name.” she says

“Wait but hes my brother sibling, i cant kill him wasnt they one of the fgood guys?” says bbarb with 3 bs because she wasnt there for that part.

“No bbarb with 3 bs, he has revealed his true colors and true intentions. He is evil and they wish to allow the wheel to ascend so chaos can reign.” says georga washington because since being covered in baku deku slime, she has gained the knowledge of all the universe. She can see that bbarb with 3 bs has the potential to gain this power without even being covered in bakudeku slime so she will take bbarb with 3 bs under her wing as her apprentice.

“Oh no…” sasy bbarb with 3 bs in greif she was honestly starting to like john. the period is included in the name they were a nice normal sibling and not insane or annoying like the other 2.

“It is ok, bbarb with 3 bs , all will make sense soon.” says georgia washington. “You must learn to astral project now. You mus you must you must you must.”

Since bbarb with 3 bs is just awesome and better like that she knows exactly how to astral project because shes awesome ansd the best character. She gained the knowledge from Georgia Washington implanting her thoughts into her brain through bakudeku slime magic.bbarb with 3 bs creates an astral projection with ease and sends it into the sky to aid her siblings in their fight against john. The period is included in the name.

“Now you must begin your anime magical girl training arc.” says georgia washington.

“Ew liek y/n hell no they a bithc(too gendered)” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“No like just fucking train or some shit damn. You have to for the plot.” says georga washington. “You literally have no choice if you want to survive the next negative circles of hell.”

Babr bwith 3 bs began training immediately and because editor 1 really doesnt want to describe an in depth training arc, were gonna skip it. She learned all the things. Like taekwondo, jiu jitsu, spinjitzu, karate, boxing, uhhhhh, like fucking what are the other ones, uhhhhh, all the martial arts every single one all of them, wrestling. She also studied and stuff so that she was super smart and rprepared for her anime battle that she scheduled with y/n for after she gets out of hell. She has to be ready to assassinate the supreme court justices that overturned roe v wade.

“Yes bbarb with 3 bs, you are now ready.” says georga washington. “You may now advance to the -3rd circle of hell.”

“How long have i been here” askes bbarb with 3 bs.

“Like 3 hours probably. In the -2nd circle. In the whole thing probably like 5 hours.” says georgia wwashingtojn trangenderly.

“Dam thats crazy. It feels much longer.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“You fell in through the pentagon. Time works differernlty in the pentagon.” obviously she said.

Bbarb with 3 bs was promptly dropped down a layer of hell to continue her journey.

Chapter Text

Whats up this is the gacha life chapter!!!!

Heres the link to this newest chapter!!!!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PIITsi-XhJ8

I cant figure out how to embed a video using rich text because the rest if this is written in rich text and if i switch to html to do this then the images in the older chapters will dissapear. Tell me if you figure it out please

Chapter Text

Ok so in the -3 circle of hell barbb meets and kills some mukbang YouTubers and the Willy wonka experience people evil miles wdgeworth is making an army and tide and chicken appear in like a flashback ish to give barbb a pep talk and timm with 2 ms sends an update text

After miles edgeworth blasted off like team rocket into space with the willy wonka experience, bbarb with 3 bs cam to the opening to the next negative layer of hell. Actually no she doesnt more stuff needs to happen in this layer.

She walks over to the castle that is there and says. “Man fuck this shit.”

She walks into the castle and is greeted greetinglly with many many armed guards. She ignores them all like billy badass except its bbarbra baddass with 4 bs. And she walks up to the throne. “Hey.” she says respectfully

“Its me the king of this - layer of hell.” says the king of this negative layer of hell. He may or may not be nikacado avocado. “I am nikcacado avocado. I was the leader of this negativee layer of hell for many a year and then i stopped mukbanging, but they didnt reinstate someone else so whatever.” says nikacado avacado.

“Ok” says bbarb with 3 bs. She isnt actually listening.

“How dare you stop banging me!!!!” says muk. Its the fucking pokemon. Im gonna kill myself what am i doing.

“MY DEAREST MUK PLEASE IM SORRY!!!!!!” says niikcacado avacado. Hes fearful.

“NO HOW DARE YOU I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!” ssays muk. The pokemon.

“IT WAS SPECIAL BUT YOURE A POKEMON!!!!!!!” says nikcacado avacado.

“HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME GET BACK HERE!!!!!!!!!” says muk. Muk will not release all the other pokemon and they will fight a hundred lions. There came out ppikachu, eeveee, um, the other ones, and MEW!!!!!

“Shhhhhh im mewing” says meew as it mew.

“Im mewing better” syas mewtwo because its mew the second version.

“RELEASE THE LIONS!!!!!!” says nikacado avocado the lions all came out and began battling the pokemon. They will win because a hundred lions could totally kill ever single pokemon.

Theen out of nowhere unexpectedly, the pokemon used all of their super sigma house supr powers and all the lions died because the pokemon have fucking superpowers did you fr think they would win like actually POKEMON HAVE SUPERPOWERS!!!!!!!

But the lions came out fine because they have LION JACKET!!!!!! it s a jacket that protects them from the superpowrers. And they slashed at the pokemon.

And then they died for real because the pokemon could just use their claws and the lions are trememndously ounymbered.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!” says nikacado avocado because that was all he had up his sleeve. Luckily for him, mmuk was killed in the fihgt. He kneeled next to his ex xboufriend “please muk i have always loved you im so sorry that i left. I love you muk my baby muk i love you.” he says.

“Its ok i forgive you” says muk “before i die, make sure to like and subscribe. Click that bell icon and thanks to todays sponsor RAID SHADOW LEGENDS…” says muk as he takes his final breath. He is dead

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUK!!!!!! MY BABY!!!!!” says mikacado avocado. In his grief he sends bbarb with 3 bs to the hole to the next - layer of hell with his mind because he wants to be alone with his ex boyfriends corpse.

Then evil miles edgeworth took all their souls for his evil army. Because hes evil. Did i mention that hes evil.

“Fucking finally.” she said “took long eenough. I had to do like 3 battles to get here.” she approached the hole and looked down onto a deep pit of… gues what… youll never guess… its purple gel. Yknow like is in every deep dark pit.

“Before you jump there is one final trial” says a voice that falls from the ceiling.

“Kms” sasy bbarb with 3 bs as the voice touches down before her. Its blockbuster and dominoes pizza.

“Wer are blockbuster and dominoes pizza.” says blockbuster and dominoes pizza. “We are in love super awesomely and to get past us you must uhhhhhhhh get past us.” they say as they kiss passionately. Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah

“Oh fuck that.” she said before jumping head first into the purple goop. In the gacha story, bbarb with 3 bs had all the hari, but thats just because i couldnt find a half shaved option. In reality, she is an emo flesh car which is a car made of flesh and she has black half shaved hair. And emo clothes. Shes emo.

“Hye!” says dominoes pizza but she (dominoes pizza) stopped caring about the uncaring world around her and she decided to just make out lesbianly with her wife, blockbuster. Theyre yrui. You mightve thought they were yaoi but theyre actually lesbians and women. They are yuri!!! Lesbianlover3000 would love this. I just felt like putting thiss in dont worry they will be back. I dunno when but they will be.

She fell for a bit and then she hit solid gound. And saw…

“Get me tf out of here not this insolent whelp.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“Femboylover3000 is going to love this.” says the voices. Both of them.

“Babababahow bad can i be how bad can i possibly be lets see im the oncler billionaire.” says the oncler as he cutss down all the trees to turn into thneeds.

“No.”

“Do you want a thneed little girl??????? I need to sell sell sell i love money im a billionaire.”

“Your endless greed consumes you.” syas bbarb with 3 bs.

“:(“

“What is up my gay lover??!!!?!??!?!” says elongated musk!!!!! All my homies hate elongated musk.

“Hello mi amor!!!!” says the onceler as he kisses elongated musk passionately on his many l\lips. “Gte down like the dog you are and lick my toes.”

“Mm mmm mmm i am elongated musk!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am elongated musk and i am cheating on my other gay lovers with you.” sasy elongated musk if you couldnt tell.

Sudedenly about 30 poeople appear behind the 2 love birds who are kissing eachothers toes.finallyy elongated musk found another omega to be and omega with who can get on his level of bitchness. The people who appeared behind them were… guess what… ELONGATED MUSKS HAREM.

“I LOVE YOU ELONGATED MUSK!!!!!!” says andrew tate super fan

“I HAVE A CYBERTRUCK!!!!!!!!” says little cybertruck boy.

“Syabbbu” says bbarb with 3 bs. She will now continue in her parents footsteps and kill elongated musk. The parents that raised her because she is actually biologically billy the cell and cheezit grants daughter and not tide detergents. Wait that means that john. The period is included in the name isnt related to her at all. Fucking stupid affair trianlges.

They all turn to bbarb with 3 bs and stare her down. Theyre all like ew did she just speak im sexism. Trans inclusionary misogyny!!!!! How dare she hate cyber trucks i love elongated musk is what they all think.

“Im gonna fucking do it” bbarb with 3 bs says as she pulls out an AK47 and shoves the barrel into her mouth. Wow! Everyone exclaims because they hate women as an effect of being around elongated muskrats revolting stench. In a twist of events once bbarb with 3 bs pulls the trigger the bullet ends up going clean through her pharynx and leaves her unphased. The bullet hums the tune of my little pony as transfem george washington, georgia washington, appears out of nowhere. “mew” the voice and the lesbianlover3000 demands of them all. “NO!>!?!?!?>!??!!!!!!” the different voice screeches. “Mew.

Mew.

Mew.
Mew.
Mew.
Mew.
Mew.
Mew.”
They demand. Transfem Georga Washington catches the singing bullet between her teeth as it hums the first note of Mariah Carrey’s hit; All I Want For Christmas. It is silenced. To finish it off she hits the most alpha sigma skibadee toilet mewing face. The different voice then insults lesbianlover3000 like a BITCH.

The cheez-it man appears, “Hello daughter.” He says in a southern accent with a twinge of zestfest, as he hits the most VOLUMPTIOUS mew. One to top Georga Washington’s. The voice says some stupid shit, “i wasn't aware that they were dating” as he does asmr on the computer screen, and therefore deserves to be beat up by femboylover3000, but we lost them in the war. “Thats a shame” Bbarb with 3 bs and Usuekkrygsels s. Grant say in unison. Yeah I know guys. Says lesbainlover3000.

Elongated Musk then hits the griddy, whispering seductively; “hyu8i[ohsdihyudfsgiyoafgyulf” (which are his griddy noises), bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbarb with 345 bs pulls the riffle back out and fucking shoots the stanky ass loser greasy old man who is also a femboy but those are unrelated because we dont support individuality. The onceler and the muskrat harem SCREECH. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY PRETTY KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!??????????!!>?!>??!>!?!?././???????????????????????????!!!!!!” they all exclaim in unison. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY?” they all shout at each other, “HES MINE!!!!!!!” they say as their voices overlap in sync. A loud thud is heard as joe bipen and donald lump clonk down with the group, landing on top of eachother, the oncler, the harem, and elongated musk. “we’re transphobic btw”! The pair declares as the theythem writes this shit

“Yes i hate trans people” says the voice trans mascly.

Remember when this was about tide detergent chan x chicke nnoodle soup chan eneimies to lovers? I do. Not anymore though. Its been a while since they made a real appearance that wasnt solely to show off their shitty gacha life designs. It will be a while yet before they appear again.

“Hello my omega. Lick my feet.” says deonald lump to elongated musk because he doesnt know that elongated musk has been cheating on him. Joe biden begins barking for his alpha while carryinga baby because joe bbipen delivered the baby. He is not prgnant anymore.

“Yes alpha i love you alpha.” says elongated musk.

“Bark bark abkr!!!” says joe bipen monotonally.

“Exsquiddle me elongated musk. But i thought we had something special.!!!!!” says the onceler

“Exsquiddle me he was my omega first he lick MY feet” says donald lump.

“KILL YOURSELF HES MIN E MINE MINE MINE!!!!!” says onceler whit his thneed.

“NO!!!!! IM THE HAREM HES MINE I LVOE HIM!!!!” says the harem in unison because they are a hivemind of harem.

“I think i should be the alpha now becuase i have the most worshippers.” syas elongated musk because he stopped beingaa little beta cuck for once in his goddamn life.

“Yes alpha” says everyone as they bow at his ffet and caress his toes.” he has massive ginormous dirty grimy disgusting toes. They are horriffic. From years of licking other people feet and not licking his own feet because obviously all sane people lick their feet.

“Mmmm salty” sasy donald lump quickly switching from top to bottom in mere seconds. He is a switch. And also a little beta cuck.

Elongated musk takes his seat on the former alpha , the ocnelers, throonww of cash. He is the new leader of the -4th circle of hell. “Get me a coffee bithc.” says elongated musk to his servants in his harem.

“Yes alpha elongated musk i bought your tesla can you sign my dick?” they all say in unison.

“I only sign the most loyal betas cocks.” says elongated musk normally.

“I migght actually kill myself again.” says bbarb with 3 bs because this is hard to watch.

“Come hither… girl” he says as if th words physically hurts him. He is a sexism.

“Fuck no. are you crazy why in the hell would i do that.” syas bbarb with 3 bs. Suddenly the centipede appears. New main villain. Evil miles edgeorth is unimportant now.

“RUN FOFR YOUR LIIIIIVES JHIDE IN YOUR BLOOD AND YOUR TEEARS!!!! LOSE ALL YOUR sorrow and fears!!!!! BLEED TILL YOU RUN OUT OF YEAAARS!!!!!! IM SCYLLA!” says the centipede. Its a little confused. Go listen to EPIC: the musical its so good trust i actually have good taste. I might write this shit but i watch good content trust. Except when i get sucked into youtube shorts. That shit is ass.

“Uh oh!” says elongated musk as he is swallowed up whole by big centipede monstrosity ninjago kai monstrosity. Guys i like ninjago can you tell? Mr. centipede kills everyone except bbarb with 3 bs because she has plot armour. They are in the stomach of mr. centipede now.

“Is this guys bugs?” syas kai ninajgo “ninjago!” he says

“Woah does that guy have jaundice?” says everyone in unison because kai ninjago is a lego and has jaundice. These are unrelated

And then kai ninjago monstroitys and kills mr. centipede and then kai ninjago goes “ninjago” and ninjagos off into space to go see his friends and family again :) also he is one of them queers.

“Wow! Says everyone inside the bug corpses stomach because they are in the stomach and they are in awe and that is why they said that. They also all dont like bbarb with 3 bs because she doesnt like elongated muskrat who is also known as mr. musky boy and he is ooooooo spooky and also th king alpha because he has the most worshippers. In case you skippeed to this part specifically and you didnt read the rest of it but you read this part and thats what happened so far.

“Whats up giggle gan. Its me laughter master” says master laughter. She they is the master of laughter.

“I know what you did” they all say in unison. They know what she they did. Fucking wokie. That sounds like a slur. Yea. i love talking to myself. Lets get back on track this is a little off the rails.

Thats what they say as the train they were all on the whole time goes off the rails and they need to get in back on track through the power of team work and friendship. “Twilight sparkle wishes she was us” syas everyone as they ass link hands and sing the friendship song:

“Laa laa friendhsip! Laa laa friendhsip!! I love friends and having friends is fun. Laa laa friendship!!” and then twilight sparkle herself comes down from the heavens and says

“Yes no i do not wish i was you because youre all going to die in a firey train accident.” and thats what she says.

Bbarb with 3 bs watches all of this from the sidelines and says “now what in the hell happened.” and then twilight sparkle came over to roast marshmallows with twilight sparkle over the flames of the terrible train wreck that just happened because there was a terrible train wreck because the power of friendship wasnt enough to stop the train from exploding as if it had hit a wall even though it didnt. Man im really in the flow right nw. Things are just coming to me. I need to be able to write liek this always this is great. The voice says but doesnt say because the voice thinks too highly of himself.

“Man i love smores.” sas twilight sparkle as she cries balls of friendship tears.

“Why are you sad” says bbarb with 3 bs “not thhat i care that just seems like the polite thing to ask. Actually i revoke that staement because ii dont give a dam.”

“Im sad because my one true love, mordecai from regular show, is forbidden to be with me.” says twilight sparkle from my littlee pony skinny and boney tripped on a wire fell in a fire. “Rigby told him that we cant be together because im a horse and hes a bird and i know that rigby just wants mordecai for himself.”

“I dont care please stop talking”

“”I love mordecai so very much he is my one true love and i love him” twilight sparkle comntinues “we always sit in the moon light and cry and sing at the same time back to back in different locations this very nice tune…”

“Ok so just ignore me then. Wait no dont sing.” says bbarb with 3 bs in a kind and nice way

“We always sing this: COULD WE PRETEND THAT AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHT SKY ARE LIKE SHOOTING STAR I COULD REALLY USE A WISH RIGHT NOW WISH RIGHT NOW WISH RIGHT NOW!!!!” twilight sparkle sings with another voice doing a harmony. “Oh my love that must be mordecai!!!”

And then, out of nowhere, mordecai from regular show appears from the foliage and chokes twilight sparkle in a warm embrace. He is so happy to see her because they have a forbidden romance by his gay ex rigby. I dunno i never watched either of these shows.

“I love you twilight sparkle i could really use a wish right now wish right now wish righ now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” syas mordecai regular show. Then suddenly without warning, rigby appeared from the bushes as well.

“I am rigby.” says rigby “you are forbidden romance! Hey!’ says rigby.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! TAKE ME NOT AWAY FROM MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!” says mordecai.

While this is happening bbarb with 3 bs is sitting mouth ion the floor because she is a flesh car and her mouth iis that low to the ground and shes eating popcorn and smores because this is a good show. A regular show if you will.

“I think i might kill myself” says twilight sparkle non friendship is magically becuase mordecai had been shot dead in front of her by rigby because they are a forbidden romance. Dont worry though he just faked his death and the blood is not real blood but its actually real blood from soomeone else. Twilight sparkle doesnt know this.

“Hehehe im evil rigby regular show.” syas evil rigby regular show.

And then twilight sparkle turns and runs to a tomb where she has stashed her secret store of poison from the aopthecary. This is romeo and juliet by the way. Happy with his evils evil rigby from regular show then gets run over by a car because why the fuck not. Evil miles edgeworth needs some new souls.

And in the tomb twilight sparkle drinks the posoin but its not real posoin and it just kills her a bit because through the power of friendship she knows that mordecai isnt really dead and so shes just fakee killing herself so that mordecai will be alive again and rigby wiill be happy. What she doesnt know is that igby is fucking dead. And also theyre in hell.

And then mordecai awakens from his slumber and goes to the tomb to see juliet one final time because he doesn know through friendship is magic that she is tn dead and hes like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TWILIGTH SPARKLE MI AMOR I LOVE YOU PLEASE WHY MUST YOU BE DEAD!!!!!!!!! WHEREFORE ART THOU TWILIGHT SPARKLE” i learned in enlgish class that wherefore actually means why not where. And then mordecai kills himself for realisies in his grife because they hada toxic suicide pact.

And then twilight sparkle wakes up too and see that mordecai killed himself for real and thn she also kill herself and says “mi amor i will see you in heaven” and then dies. But actually theyll see eachother in hell because theyre already in hell so why do the toruble of the paperwork of sending them back up to heaven. And also i dont think mordecai was actually that great of a person. I dunno though i never wathed regular show.

“Wow.” says bbarb with 3 bs after witnessing these events “that was certainly something that occured.”

And then to really get this train back on track, the onceler comes out of the shadows towards the trees “oh fuck” we all think but mainly bbarb with 3 bs because shes the only person in this scene other than the onceler.

“Yeah bad right…” he says exiting the curtains. Then a duck quac.
He opens the scene to a beautiful colorfu tree filled land with sparkle affects going around him.

Barbb stare are the scene unfolding all o a sudden, seeing the song “How Bad Can I Be?” she starres as this keeps going

“How BBABABABABAD can I be? Im just doing what comes naturally. How B-B-B-BAD can I be? Iḿ just following my destiny!” he exclaims, throwing an ax in the air as everyone watches. The axes randomly get thow into the hands of his family goons who have appeared out of his ass, otherwise, from behind him. They start to march with him towards the camera, the Oncller now in a green suit and green gloves.

“OKay wahat the fuck is happening now” Barbb with two bs says as the onler continu to sing. They magically enter in a factore.´

“HOW BA A A A AD CAN I BE!!!!!!” says the onceler as he chops down many trees with his goons. They cut down the trees for the thneeds. And then the trees are thneeds and… holy shit its the freaking lorax?????” My naame is the freaking lorax oh yea my name is the freaking lorax oh yea ba babb abbabababababababababababa” says the mimic and david and edwin.

“KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF!!!!” says the lorax.

“Oooooo baby oooh ah i wanna knoooooow if youll be my girl ba ba ba ba babababa HEEEEEEEY HEEY BABY OOH AAH I WANNA KNOOOOOOOOW IF YOULL BE MY GIRRL BABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABA!!!!!!!!” says the onceler to the lorax. He is only chopping down the trees to get the attention of his one true love and also to make billions off of thneeds.

“KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!” says the lorax because hes one of them tree huggers. What a weirdo. Caring about his habitat and the planet he lives on.

“Noo please my love i love you please!!!!” says the onceler. He is a fucking idiot and thinks the best way to get the attention of his one true love is to destroy his entire forest.

“IM KEEPING THE KIDS” syas the lorax as 3 little orange and human babies peek out from behind him with their weird fucking fur and faces. Theyre kinda disgusting. They should kinda be kkilled. Like they really need to die. Theyre really gross.

“NO PLEASE DONT TAKE THE KIDS AWAY!!!!!!! I WOULD HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT AND I LOVE MY MONEY TOO MUCH!!!!!!” says the onceler. He is a billionaire. Then suddenly out of nowhere, the lorax leaps into his arms and kisses his ex husband passionately,,

“Its ok my love i love you” says the lorax. As he embraces his ex husband he takes his sillly knife and kills the onceler. He could never forgive him for what he did.

“My love how could you?” says the oncler. Betrayed.

“Mwahahahahahaha i hate you i could never forgive you.” sasy the lorax as he stabs him 37 times in the chest. Like that one video about the llamas with the hats and the one eats the people hands.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PAPA!! PLEASE PAPA!!!!” says the chilrden.. they were born from the loraxs pregnat. Als o the lorax is pregant.

Then suddenly. Out off nowhere. Evil miles edgeworth appears from the sky. Its hell though sso there is no sky.

“You seem evil. joinm y evil army. Because you are evil and i need more evils for my evil army” sasy evil miles edgeworth/.

“Yes siree!!!” says the lorax. He gets up from the oncelers corpse and flies into the ssky with evil miles edgeworth and his pregnant belly.

“NOOOOOOO MAMA!!!!!” WE ARE ORPHANS NOW!!!!” says the little fucking things. They are disgusting did i mention that?

“Ew i dont think i want those.” says evil miles edgeworth which is saying something because he took in some freaky little creatures. Because evil miels edgeworth didnt want them they all spontanteously combbust and all die.

Bbar bwith 3 bs runs away. She is tired and doesnt want to get in another absurd fight. She ran away and jumped jumpingly intoo a massive hell portal to the next negative layer of hell.

As bbarb with 3 bs runs away, evil miles edgeworth took the souls of all the people that just died because he needed more souls for his evil army.

Mean. at the Magnus Institute, London sometime in early season 2

[THE ARCHIVIST]

Statement of , you've got to be kidding me, yes or no “y/n”, regarding the destruction of New York and its subsequent rebuilding. Statement given May, 22, 2025, and recorded by Jonathan Sims head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. God this has to be a joke. 2025 isn’t for another 9 fucking years! I’m going to kill Tim. Actually, maybe this is Martin’s fault. I much rather kill Martin. Why am I about to read this, anyways statement begins.

[THE ARCHIVIST]

Hewwo Jonathan Simms Head Awchivis ofthe Mangus Institute “London” :3. Wewl I bet you'we wondurwin how I ended up this situwatioim. It awl started when I was a chwild you see I was “born” at a young age as the middwle chwild of my famiwy. You swee before I was y/n I was #6 dis informacion is useless, but now I have 2 sibwings Timm with 2 ms and Barbb with 3 bs. We got along fine. I mean I knew they all hated me, but everyone hates me. I am alone in this uncaring world and hated for my mary sueness as the magical space alpha prince princess. But you swee there was this prwofocy, now as you are “Bwitish” I don’t know how much you know aboubt Amewican news, but you swee when The Wheel (or any being) begins to ascend all polwitician are made immortal, and me and my siblings were going to kill the Supreme Court Justices that overturn Roe v Wade, so I think you can see the problem. So me and my sibling went to stop The Wheel’s ascent. Then while we were in Ikea looking for the wheel section in hopes of finding The Wheel. Well while we were in there we met John. the period is included in the name he claimed to be and was one of our siblings. This wasn’t particularly surprising because our parents cheated a lot. I should probably get into who our parents are. My parents are Billy the Cell and Tide Detergent. I don't know why they were married considering their favorite hobbies were cheating on each other. There’s also cheezit man/the hat man/Ulysses S. Grant (the former US President) cheated with both Tide Detergent and Billy the Cell separately which is how we have Barbb with 3 bs and Timm with 2 ms. But anyways I’m getting off topic so we just met John. the period is included in the name, and he showed us where the wheel section was in Ikea and we found The Wheel. Then my siblings tried to exclude John. the period is included in the name and I from the adventure, but after overcoming those obstacles we were on our way to restore The Wheel to its rightful place amongst us mortals (as you know). So there we were chasing The Wheel on a cloud of magic space glitter alpha wolfness when Timm with 2 ms and Barbb with 3 bs fell off of the cloud of magic space glitter alpha wolfness and into The Pentagon (which is a US military place shaped like an octagon), but I knew I needed to keep going and not let their sacrifice be for nothing. So we continued to New York, and then , suddenly, as me and John. the period is included in the name were getting close to The Wheel John the period is included in the name PUSHED ME off my cloud of space alpha wolf princess prince-ness. And then while I was falling Timm with 2 ms saved me with a Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). And we fought John. the period is included in the name and then Barbb with 3 bs appeared through astral projection and also fought John. the period is included in the name. Unfortunately Timms with 2 ms got another Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) which let John. the period is included in the name get away. So me and me alone saved the day by chasing John. the period is included in the name and destroying John. the period is included in the name with a beam of the power of friendship and space Mary Sue main character powers. Yep that's totally what happened. 100%. Y’know I really hope Sir Isxac Newton thought my amazing saving the day-ness was amazing and knows that Timm with 2 ms fucked everything up. He’ll be mine one day mark my words. Anyways :3 that had the unintended consequence of destroying New York and a couple surrounding states, but I mean seriously what even happens in Road Island. So as a punishment Tide Detergent and Billy the Cell (came to an agreement for once in their lives) and are making me build Newer York and New Road Island, now I am writing this letter the the Magnus Institute, “London” to complain about how unfair my “parents” are being while a group of variously attractive entities that appeared when I batted my eyelashes and asked politely (read as: threatened their families) due to me being the main character are building Newer York and New Road Island. I always knew that I was the gacha life hated child. Timm with 2 ms is a pussy. And I will kill him.

Statement Ends

[THE ARCHIVIST]

I don’t know where to begin with this. I don’t know why I read this. I felt like I had to. Uuummmmm *Anyways* this statement, if you can even call it that, is obviously a joke for a many number of reasons. I feel like I don’t need to go over them, but I will for simplicity's sake. For starters, as previously stated the statement said the year is 2025 the current year as of recording this statement is 2016. A can of chicken noodle soup, a bottle of tide detergent, a cell, or the former US President Ulysses S. Grant, who lived from April 27, 1822, Point Pleasant, Ohio, U.S.—died July 23, 1885 cannot produce offspring let alone 4 presumably human children. And finally ,because if I have to continue listing this stuff I might ask Gertrude’s killer to finish me off too, Neither New York or Rhode Island have been destroyed according to my research at least.

End Recording

[THE ARCHIVIST]
*whisper yelling*

Supplemental

I am now nearly 100% sure Martin is the killer. I am certain he gave me that cursed statement as an attempt on my life. I am in his walls. I have set up a bear trap in his mailbox. He did seem to be telling the truth about his dying mother, though. If I am killed, investigate him first. I am begging you. Oh, no I think he heard me!

End Supplemental

Chapter Text

Mean. with bbarb with 3 bs backin hell.

Bbarb with 3 bs fell cooly into the next negative layer of hell gracefully. She was all falling and then she wasnt because she hit the ground. She got up and looked at the place around her. It was very dark but because shes awesome she could see in the dark this whole time. Bbarb with 3 bs is just awesome like that. As she looked around she saw lots of fire but it was dark and the fire emitted no light because its just chill like that. 

“Hi!” says blockbuster. From earlier “we’re back. We said we would be back.” she lesbianly kisses dominoes pizza. Also theyre buildings by the way.

“We wont kill you because we can tell that youre on of us, but also we cant let you leave so do you  wanna play cards?” thats what they say and that was what dominoes pizza said as she took out her deck of cool cards. 

Bbarb with 3 bs doesnt wanna play cards so she walks away and faces no resistance from the lesbian buoldings because they are chill like that and they love lesbians. Anyways the surroundings are very wrathful because this is the wrath circle of hell. This is based on dantes inferno by the way. Except from the circles we dont like. Wwe switch those ones out. When theres a circle of hell that we dont like we change it into something silly and cooler. They fit the story better that way. Honestly the circles are just kinda a rough guide. They just help come up with ideas for what to put in each circle.  I wonder who the leader of this circle of hell will be. Also im the voice speaking through bbarb with 3 bs mind because as previously established she is insane. And maybe a little schizophrenic. She might be hallucinateing just a bit. I dunno though. 

Bbarb with 3 bs continues on her journey through the -5th circle of hell. Then suddenly theres some people infront of her. These are characters you could never expect because they are original characters from playing dress to impress on roblox and dressing in one pure saturated color. Its scary jery, horrifying henry, malicious mark, and spooky steve!!!!!!!!

“I am scary lary” says scary jery. In the lore scary jery has 2 people and is actually 2 pople. Sometimes the evil one comes out and is evil. Right now the evil one is out he is scary lary. “I am scary!”

“I am horifying henry.” says my oc horifying henry “amm horrifying.” i need to come up with some lore for him. 🤔scary jery has a lot of lore. Soon he will tell ypou all the lore about him. “Do you wanna hear horrifying henrys backkstory” asks horrifying henry. They all speak in the 3rd person exclusively. 

“You would not believe your eyes. If ten million fire flies. Light up the world as you fell asleep!” says spooky steve. You expertly deduced that it was spooky steve because he was wearing approximately 15 nametags that all said spooky steve. “ i am malicious mark!” apparently it was not malicious mark. Also he is made of fireflies. 

“Malicious mark is a woman right now.” says spooky steve. “You are a bitch becasue you called her a he. She is a girl.”

Sorry says the conscience. I didnt know.

“Bitch” they all say in unison. 

“I am malicious mark and i am genderfluid. I am a gril.” thats what malicious mark said.

“Malicious mark is kinda malicious.” says spooky steve.spooky steve expertly deduced that from the fact that malicious is part of her name. “Im one of them they thems by the way. You should know our pronouns before we kill you.” they say.

“Listen to our evil  backstories!” syas scary jery. Scary lary is gone now. “Yes behold our backstories.” says scary lary. Scary lary is back now

“No thanks” says bbarb with 3 bs “i have places to be actually. I dont particularly care either.” 

“:( listen to our backstories or we will horifyingly kill you to death” says horifying henry. 

Before i ell you their awesome backstories i must descirbe them. Scary jery is pure staurated red. He has many muscles and he wears nothing but a little mini skirt because he is a femboy. He as a cyan blue mustache and bones instead of skin on his face. Also he has really long complicated hair. Like go on dress to impress and put on every hair. And thats what scary jery/scary lary looks like. His skin is covered in blood. He is always doing a silly pose where he looks like hes from jojos bizarre adventure. Its really cool and not strange at all.

Horrifying henry is dress to impress girl body and has the longest nails you ever done diddly darn seen. They reach the floor and they are blood red. He is covered in blood. His clothes are skin tight and he is covered in oil as well. His face is the only thing not covered in oil and his face is that one doll dress to impress face where the face is a heart and theres a lace border around it. Also horrifying henry has that heart hair from dress to impress. He looks like the queen of hearts if she was nearly naked and covered in oil. Also hes always doing a silly pose where he crouches a little and waves his hands in a hi motin right in front of his face. It kinda looks like petting someones eyes if theyre right in font of him.

Spooky steve is rainbow. They are all the rainbows. Every rainbow. Everything is rainbow. If you went on dress to impress and put on the maximum amount of accessories and made them all various neon colors thats what they look like. Their fit is hideous. They have the basic dress to impress long dress on and its very rainbow neon. They have about 10 different hairs equipped and many layers. Everything is very neon and big and bright and they honestly hurt to look at. They are always doing the pose where its pose 28 and theyre like thrusting at you. Its only every that pose. They only do that pose ever. Nothing else.

Malicious mark looks like a fish. She has a fish head and body but human legs. Its like if you went into dress to impress and put on the mermaid outfit andd then reversed itso it was mermaid top half and human bottom half. The fish body is black and the legs are wearing a nice skirt right now but sometimes its a nice pants. The fish bit has white accents but shes mostly a black queen in her own words. This is what she always says she looks like even when she is a guy. Slay malicious mark. Also shes always dropped on the deck and flopped like a fish. Probably because shes a fish. Sponge bob. :0 freaky bob. Sounds like malicious mark to me.

“This is my awesome backstory!” says scary jery. And thenn scary jery  tells his entire back story and he says this “i was born at a very young age.” then he was cut off by evil bbarb with 3 bs

“Pack it up skittle squad i dont care” she says because shes an evil evil person. And she is evil because she wouldnt let them finish their backstories.

“No we will tell you our backstories.” they all say in unison.

“THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!!!!!!” says everyone in unison because back with timm with 2 ms and y/n they have hit the pentagon with a  Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) !!!!!!

Oh No!

Anyways so their backstories are like. “I have a long history of scaring in DTI. our story began in the late 1800’s, when a toxic chemical spill poisoned our father.” says scary jery

“Oh” says bbarb with 3 bs

“This spill was evil and corrupted us. It turned us all into scary. We now reside in rural kansas. Its just scary lery, scary jery, and our father kicked the can a while ago. For our mother? She wasn’t scary enough so… and you know what happens to the nonscarys.” says scary jery

“I dont ca-” says bbarb with 3 bs

“Anyways, malicious mark is my great long lost cousin. It would be cool for her to be in this game.” he ssaid

“Oh.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

“We havent talked in years. She was very scary and thought we werent scary enough. Anyways, iit made us rethink on our mother. Maybe not everyone will be the same, and you just have to accept them for what they are, youknow? Also by the way the way i found out that the oil spilled on me and spooked me and turned me scary was it was malicious mark and she did this to me.” scary jery says scary laryly.

“No it not know.” says Horifying henry.’

“Aw dang it. Scary jerys life work rets in vein.” says scary lary.

“Wow.” says babrb with 3 bs “thats crazy i dont care.”

“My backstory is this” will say horrifying henry. “It all started when the creature overtook my little village town. It was a nasty creature who was evil and also smalicious mark in this connected universe. she was doing her usual scaring on DTI and i was there in my town and i got scared and then i turned towards the path of scaring because i need to get scarier so im the scariest. And thats how i turned scary. And also when the nonscariys come by i scream at them and beat them up because im scary and i feed of the scares. I am evil scary horifying henry.”

Oh” bbarb with 3 bs will said in the past tense. She really doesnt give a dam but she is trapped because they surrounded her and they are around her.surrounded

“Also i am horrifying henry and when i met malicious mark she thought i was an unscary a non scary you may say and that made me sad and it made me feel bad for all the times i hated on all the nonscarys because i could see how they felt when i did that and it was bad. And thats the moral of the stroy.!” says horrifying henry finishing off his horrifyingbackstory.

“So i am spooky steve and this is my backstory!” says spooky steve “i was in the realm of blocks and they were everywhere. There were many blocks and cubes. It was very lonely because no one goes to the realm of blocks and there was no one there and it was sad.” thats what spooky steve said 

“No its ok you dont need to continue” says bbarb with 3 bs rudely

“and then a new person was there and it was a person who was there. They looked exactly like me except they didnt have my beautiful white eyes. And then later i found out it was malicious mark also. And they were spooky and they turned me scary because i didnt like them spo i came closer in  the fog and took away all the leaves. And then they made me a scary and i became spooky steve. The people saw thata because malicious mark leaked it one day because off black mail and they made me herobrine.” will says spooky steve “also im the least scary and they bully me for it in the past. Mot anymore though because we all know that everyone is a little different and thats ok!” horfying henry will said.

“Sigh” bbarb with 3 bs will sigh except she doesnt say sigh outloud because she isnt a little butch like Y/n. 

“I am malicious mark and this is my story.” says malicious mark “when i was a youngin my parents were scarys and they were scaring all  the nnonscarys and they taught me to be a scary too. And they told me that scaring was the best and the nonscaarys were all bad and evil so we should scare them. So i was doing the scaring aand then i scared some people so bad and they were mean against me and they scared me back but im the scariest but they were scarier. And i knocked down the oil thing and then there were new scarys but before it was just my family! So now there s more. And then i went around and i scared the village and then a little nonscary became my scary apprentice and became a scary and i was like woah non scaries can be scary too maybe they arent the worst! And then i decided to go on a little trip to somewhere and decide my opinions because i need my opinions. And i was in the block realm and i scared a guy unintentionally because im just soscary and awesome. And then i realized i made so many scarys so i decided to stop scaring because if i make too many scarys there wont be anyone left to scare and that was my opinion and thats why there are no more scarys.” says malicious mark bbarb with 3 bs didnt interrupt because she fell asleep.

“ye ! you fell asleep during our backstories!” says horifying henry!

“Huh? Oh yea no i dont care.” says bbarb with 3 bs becuase ses honest and amazing likee that. . 

“:(((((“ they all say in unison because the yare sad that bbarb with 3 bs didnt listen to their backstories.. And then theey were like hmmmm no i dont want to do that again so were gonna killl you now and the y gave her that look. Except malicious mark sat out so she wouldnt make another scary. She still wants to have many people to scare and watching them get scared is still fun for her so.

And then bbarb with 3 bs was being chased by all the scarys but its ok because she has plot armour. She used her awesome martial arts skill to take out her massive gun and shoot horifying henry right in the face. BAM! POW! CLASH! CLANG! And she was running again away from the other 2 scarys. She risked a look behind her and watched as Scary jery changed into his ultra scary form of Scay Lary. se tripped over her feet in horror and because she was not looking where she was going.

She pulled out her gun again and aimed at scary jery/ scary lary. Except he was just the distraction because as she had her sights on scary lary, spooky steve came up ot of nowhere and tackled bbarb with 3 bs to the ground because she had gotten up. They whipped out their awesomer gun and had it pointed at bbarb with 3 bs skull at point blank rnage, when suddenly malicious mark joined the party.

“Hey! No murder! Only scaring!” she said, saving bbarb with 3 bs life unintentionally.

“But she just killed horifying heenry!!!!!” syas scary lary as if malicious mark was his mom. she isnt.

“Ok and? Evil miles edgeworth will come collect all our souls soon enough nayways. The old onoes said so and also the prophecy said that this one has to be alive or something.” sais malicious mark in the future.

The bbarb with 3 bs used the moments to regain her wits and scooted out from under spooky steve and then shot them in the face and everywhere because shotguns have a wide spread also the gun iis a shotgun now. It used to be an ak-47.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” scary lary will scrempt.

Then bbarb with 3 bs ran away again because she had to reload her ultra gun and then she realized uhoh… theres no more ammo. Shes all oout!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Scary lary changed forms again into his mega ultra form and took flight to get at bbarb with 3 bs because she had climbed a massive tower with her ultra superpowers that she got from training with georgia washington. He crashed down in front of bbarb with 3 bs on a tall ledge and took out his… massive sledgehammer!

Bbarb with 3 bs said “yourr sledgehammer is tiny.” she will say

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!” scary lary will scream “ITTS BIG ITS BIG ITS BIG SIZE ISNT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!”

Then bbarb with  3 bs used her awesome super cool martial arts skills to break the giants neck and the nhe died. The end! Except its not because this story will continue until the day i fucking die and then it will continue more because this is going in my fucking will bro. This will be inherited by my friends and will only end when the last writer standing realizes they are on death's doorstep and they have to end it. Only then will they write at the very end that we all killed ourselves and post it. That will be how this story ends. This story will only end once, in hundreds of years, the final editor has no one left to pass this on to and writes at the end that everyone all killed themselves in a horrific suicide pact and so the story could not continue.

Anyways.

Bbarb with 3 bs turned to malicious mark while standing over the desecrated remains of her fallen comrades. She raised her newly aquired, regularly sized sledgehammer and charged. She jumped onto malicious marks face and beat her “face” to a bloody pulp. Then bbarb with 3 bs got up and rolled away because she is a flesh car and actually has wheels instead of legs like humans do. Stupid humans and tier legs fucking weirdos. She thinks except she doesnt think because those are the voices in her mind speaking. 

“I think i might be going a little coocoo” says bbarb with 3 bs accurately because she has voices in her mind that are not her own. 

Bbarb with 3 bs turned away from the massacre and walked over towards the something. Uhhhh castle of wrath maybe i dunno. Then suddenly, oout of nowhere, iron man and the hulk and batman appeared. Also the joker and some other people i guess. Like some super heroes just a lot of them.

“Hi.” syas bbarb with 3 bs no caring about the uncaring world around her. Also she doesnt even give a shit at this point. She has realized that things just happen and she cant do anything about it so she just runs with it because like whatever. 

“i …. AM BATMAN!!!!” says batman like hes fucking minecraft steve. Literally just go be blocks bro. Go to the woodland mansion and scram chicken jockey. Go get an elytra and have mega ultra sex innuendos in the air. Like god. Kids these days. Thats what the voices in bbarb ith  3 bs head are thinking.

“Ok bruce wayne.” says bbarb with 3 bs expertly deducing that batman is bruce wayne through the power of knowing who batman is and having a nerd for a brother who reads all the batman comics and is a little freaking nerd boy who infordumpps about batman whenever he is physically capable of infodumping on people. Freaking nerd. Bbarb with 3 bs does NOT miss him by the way timm with 2 ms and yes or no are annoying as all hell and she doesnt miss them fr. like not at all. Like if they were here right now and they appeared she would kill them thats how littlee she misses them. She cant wait however to go outside to the overwolrd OVERWORLD?!?!!?!???!?! MINECRAFT?!?!!?!??!?!! To go up to the surface and kkill the supreme court justices who overturned roe v wade. Thats gonna be awesome. Bbarb with 3 bss cant wait for that. And thats what the voices are saying not bbarb with 3 bs. She thinks through the voices.

“Im batman not bruce wayne. Im batman” says batman..

HOLY SHIT GUYS 50 THOUSAND WORDS GUY !!!!!!!!!!!!! WERE AT 50 THOUSAND WORDS!!!!!!!!! THIS IS CRZY!!!!! THIS IS SUCHA MILESTONE!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE CLAP!!!!!!!! 50 THOUSAND WORDS GUYS!!!!!!!!!! HOW WONDEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH FRABJOUS DAY CALLOO CALLAY!!!!!!!!

Guys my language tool proofreading wont work  because our beautiful masterpiece is over 10,000 characters. :( 

“Hey i just lied about my age and told cookie run kingdom that im 100 years old and i dont think it beleived me” said the joker.

“Thats because thats fucking absurd babe” syas batman to  his affair partner #2 the joker. Jason todd isnt paricularly happy about this arrangement. Batman is also in a polycule with the entire justice league and is dating his other affair partner Selina, the catgirl i think. So hes leading a triple life :0 thats crazy 3 affair partners?!?!!!?!??!?!! Thats more than tide detergetn chan and chicken nodoel soup chan. Woah… 

Hen suddenly superman rushes over to batman. “BABY BABE SHMOOKUMS TEDDY BEAR I LOVE YOU” says superman “WHY WOULD YOU LEAD A TRIPLE LIFE AND CHEAT ON ME!!!!!!!!”

“Because. Im… batman…” syas batman. He has the best reaspons. Alfred pennyworth taught him well. Also alfred pennyworth hath returneth from thine grave. 

“Aw bollocks” alfred pennyworth says britishlly “thou art a fucking imbicile sir.”

“Wooooooooooooooooooow alfred i cant beleive you.” sasy batmann batfam bats in the man “i thought you were on my side.”

“No.<3” says alfred ppennyworth using his super awesome alpha bullet powers to spread joy and whimsy throughout the worlld. This does not hhave the intended effect because batman spreads sadness and despair. Everyone is SAD now. They will be happy during the summer and depressed during the winter. Just like hades and persephone and demeter. They have created seasonal affective disorder. This will sprout a brand new lemon demon song. Dont worry he will be back. We love our lord and saviour lemon demon christ. 

“Do not use the lords name in vane…” says super sigma alpha, batman as he throatpunches uppercut him. Now. on the guy over there whose name is the penguin or the riddler one of them and they are a villain >:( EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“DUDE MY COOKIE RUN KINGDOM IS TAKING FUCKING FOREVER TO UPDATEEEEEEE!!!!!” syas the joker because he is being evil on the cookie run kingdom- starfire. She said that. That was starfire in bbarb with 3 bs minds eye.

“British british british empty the compatements of your pantaloons” says alfred pennyworth, the street mugger with dementia and a knife.

“Grandpa please come back home to the dementia ward!” says bruce wayne, taking off his barman flesh suit. Its not fabric anymore that is the skin of another human being. 

Superman suppermanly flew over on his wings of superman and said to his gay lover batmna some words. “Hi batman UwU! Im your skibidi discord kitty and i love you alpha!” 

Bbarb with 3 bs continues to watch in horror. She just cant look away. Its like a bad car crash. You want to ook away but you cant. 

Then suddenly all of bat mans lovers and affair partners appear to confront him about his many affairs and cheating.

Thayre all like ‘why would you cheat on me why would you  do thhat why would you betray me i thought our relationship was special!’ and batman, reasonably said:

“Broooooooo im witerawwy brucie wayne you cant just expewct me to be like loyal to you bruh!” says batman bruce wayne.

Then they all jumped on him and took out their silly knives and murdered batman to a pulp. And batman was all like “NOOOOOOOOOOO DONT HASHTAG KILL ME WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL TRUST!!!!!!”

Then the murders hashtag killed eachother and everyone hashtag died. Bleh! XP. 

“Fucking finally i hated them all” says bbarb with 3 bs. She is right they were annoying as hell. “Get out of my head.”

Shes crazy.

“No im not”

She is dont listen to the ramblingss of the crazy people. 

Then suddenly batmans batfam children appeared out of thin air to mourn their fathers death.

“Oh no. this is terriblle and also bad!” says tim drake who is the restaurant franchise red robin and also robin 3.0. 

“Shut up robin 3.0 get me a burger.” sayys jason todd as he eats the remains of the joker with his crowbar. “Mmm mmm yummy!” this one wears a hood that is red. And he has a bit of white hair because he is an emo punk guy. 

“Hahahahaha. You are cannibalising!” syas dick grayson. His is also a bird as well. 

“I will be batman” says damian wayne because he is 9 and can fit into the batman suit very well. He is robin 5.0.

Then the girl is there and she says “lesbians! Bisexual.” she says. That is stephanie brown. 

“I agree” says the freaking queer, timothy drake. Then they all run around in a circle and wave their wueer homosexual homophobia heterochromia pride flags and they have heterophobia in their eyes. And thaey all go AAAAAAAAAA GAY PEOPLE I HATE GAY PEOPLE and then kiss boys because they are some of them queers and thats what happens.

Then cassandra cain is there and she joins in and screams “AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA LESBIANS!!!!!” she says nonchalantly.

Lesbianlover3000 is gonna lesbian love this bit.  Noo they wont. Lesbianlover3000 hates every bit of this masterpiece :( 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

WAIT GUYS SOMEONE COMMENTED AND READ THE WHOLE THING SHOUTOUT GUEST RUBY!!!! THAT WAS SICK AS FUCK!!!!!!!!! By the way, NOTHING about this works but pop off i guess.

“Let us all feast on the remains of our newly deceased father and gain his powers from his flesh and blood.” says little emo goth boy damian wayne al-ghul.  

Then they all super alpha sim cardly ate thee desecrated remains of their father. Not mohter father because he actually had a gender apparently. Disgusting. Ew. gross.

The children of batman all rose to the celeing and burst into a cloud of light because the side effect of gaining the powers of their father and all that came before him because theyve all been eating eachother in a cycle of canniblaism is that they have finally ascended to godhood and can no longer be sustained on this mortal plane. 

Bbarb with 3 bs stared at the ecloud of light for a moment before shaking her head and continuing on her way. Shes so fed up with the bullshit. 

She finally reaches the castle. 

GUYS 150 PAGES THIS SI WONDEROUS WHAT AN AMAZING WONDERFUL OCCASION!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AMAZING AND WAY TOO FUCKING LONG!!!!!!

WOOOOO 150 PAGES OF THE DOCUMENT!!!!!!! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!! WHY ARE THE CHAPTERS GETTING LONGER!!!!!!!!!

Anyways so bbarb with 3 bs is at the silly castle and shes all like walking an shit. Walk walk walk walking underground underground underground alking underground underground underground i have fallen down in this mountain im down i have fallen down underground underground 

Welcome to the ruins welcome to the ruins welcome to thee ruins ruins ruins ruins.

You will never know my secrets AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA you will never know my secrets AAAAAAAAAAA moan.

Hey kid oyurre looking alone and now im up with the big shot feel nows yourr chance to  be a bigshot be a big be a big yea big shot DIE.

walking underground underground underground alking underground underground underground i have fallen down in this mountain im down i have fallen down underground underground  walking underground underground underground alking underground underground underground i have fallen down in this mountain im down i have fallen down underground underground 

Why is this guy talking to me i just wanna do my job?!!!?!?? And i hate my job so i smoke a cigarette -burgerpants.

She enters the palace and is greeted by the royal guard from undertale. Also evil miles edgeworth took the bodies of the deceased for his evil army. And bbarb with 3 bs goes up to the royaal guard and they says “mwahahahahahahaha im papyrus and undyne youve gotta get in my cage or im gonna kill you!!!! Mwahahahahaha ill eatcha im gonna eatcha!!!!!” says undyne the undying before bbabr eith 3 bs kills her and she diees.

“Oh!” says papyrus because hes all like woah you just hashtag ki,lled her i guess she was undying after all!

“Hello little autism boy…” says the king. He is asgore. And he has ass gore. His ass is all bloody. 

“Aw hello king asgore your bloody ass is looking great today!” says papyrus undertales. 

“Yes….” says asgore “my wife divorced me because of my bloody ass. :(“ says asgore.

“Ok buddy.” syas papyrus trying to leave the conversation with bloody ass king. 

“The birds are singing flowers are blooming. On days like these. Kings slike you. Should be burning in hell.” syas sans undertale form the hit song an understale and nowhere else.

“Good thing im the king of a layer of hell so im already there old buddy old chum old pal.” says the bloody ass of king asgore. 

“This is why i fucking left you.” says toriel who is asgores ex wife. “Not because of our dead children. Totally not”

Then ink sans apppeared with the sans aus multiverse. “Wassup gang. Im ink sans and im gonna paint r34.” he says. 

Everyone immediately runs away from the freakshow because hes a little freak.

“I love you sans.” says sans from underfell to sans from an understale.

“I love you too sans” says sans from an understale to sans from underfell. 

“Im cross sans.” says cross sans from Xtale by Penaloza. I forget their first name.

“I love you cross sans!!!!!” syas cross sans fanclub and epic sans and dream sanas. Then they all kiss passionately and Xtale chara kills himself. Except hes already dead so he cant kill himself sadly. Ew gneder. 

“I find you all despicable and im going to kill veryone now” says nightmare snas from sans dreamtale to all the other sanses. 

“No im king ass gore you cant kill us all because this is literally the og timeline.” syas king assgore.

“It literally is not.” says error sans from the white antivoid. Can you guys tell that i waas drowning in this fandom at one time. I know way too much about this stupid bulshit. My gacha life phase haunts my nightmares.

Then past error sans appears who is geno sans who is future regular sans who is future science sans. Its sans.

“Im king sans of the multiverse king multiverse from ogmeaverse i think” says king multiverse who was created because of error 404 sans who was one of the og sanses from the omegaverse. I think it was called that.

“Im blueberry” syas yandere blueberry and he twinkly kills everyone for dust sans from dust tale the universe where he fucking killed everyone. 

“Im phamtom papyrus.!” says phantom littlee autistic boy because dust sans killed him. 

“Oh shit guys i finally got to the part to name my kingdom in cookie run kingdon! Im gonna call it drugs1234heroin!!!!” says joker frm beyond the grave. “Holy shit that worked.”

Now there are many sans aus so theres a lot of them. “Im little heroin boy!” says fentanyl the drugs.

Then yandere blueberry freaking killed everyone with the power of loving dustsans a little too much. “Everyone wanted my pookie wookie b ear…” syas yandere blueberry sans.

“Can you fuck off please” says dust sans because he doesnt like the yandere and is a sigma alpha male and also dating horror sans who is dating lust sans already. “Tthis is my boyfriend, horror, and this is my boyfriends boyfriend. Lust ❤️‍🔥😋:fuck boy face:, we hate eachother.”

“Lets polycule it up in here” says blueberry yandere as he plotted to kill horror and lust sans.

Then they all died because bbarb with 3 bs was fed up with their bullshit and the sans au multiverse collapsed fianllly. They will be back though because theyre really funny.

Bbarb with 3 bs sighed and walked to the massive hole in the ground that led the humans to the underground and then promptly jumped in because honestly she doesnt give a dman anymore. 

YIPPEE WERE OUT OF THE -5th CIRCLE OF HELL!!!!!!1 and then evill miles edgeworth takes all of the souls for his army. 

Tune in next time for the -6th layer of hell!!!!!!

Mean with lemon demon in the -1st layer of heel.

“Every winter I'm a wreck, yes

Miss my family, merry Xmas

Every day that I am snowed in

I'm a coward, I'm corroding

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Everything can stop on a quarter

Got no prospects (Cold plus hopeless: Cope less)

It's the snow's fault

Got no girlfriend (Cold plus listless: Kissed less)

Pass the snow salt

We have a saying back in my hometown

"When you're feeling down, sunshine fixes everything!"

But here, winter is getting longer

Everything's frozen still

Beautiful things no longer give me the chills

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Maybe I should just move to Florida

I am no elf (Cold plus relapse: collapse)

No Saint Nick, man

Trapped in myself (Cold plus morose: comatose)

I'm a sick man” (lemon demon SAD).

Mean. with chicken noodle soup chand and tide detergent chan (finally back to our main characters)

The birds were singing that one classical song was playing, you know the one. It plays on shows as you zoom in through the window and birds are singing and then someone wakes up and starts screaming ruining the previously peaceful atmosphere. Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent were back to their previously “peaceful” married life no longer sexist, gendered caricatures since The Wheel has temporarily been returned to its rightful place amongst us mortals for the past 3 weeks. When suddenly an announcement starts playing on the TV.

“Attention: seek shelter immediately there currently  is an outbreak of a dangerous virus similar to what would be known as a zombie virus. Do NOT try to fight these zombies, you will probably die, or fight them. We don't really care. It seems the source of this virus comes from a portal to “hell” with someone claiming to be “Evil Miles Edgeworth” is responsible for this by using the fallen soldiers from hell. This message has been brought to you by the “US” government”

“Oh fuck yeah, finally,” says Chicken Noodle Soup Chan murderously because it has been waiting a LONG time for a zombie apocalypse so it can go back to killing people for fun.

So to prepare Chicken Noodle Soup gets its sawed off shotgun attached to an AK-47 attached to a flamethrower attached to a pistol attached to a glock, and also gets Tide Detergent a sawed off shotgun attached to an AK-47 attached to a flamethrower attached to a pistol attached to a glock. They then head outside, and despite it being about 5 minutes since the zombie apocalypse was announced society has already collapsed.

Chicken Noodle Soup spotted a zombie horde and despite it being 6 minutes since the zombie apocalypse was announced the zombies’ flesh is already decaying with flies buzzing around them and bones showing, like the undead have been this way for months. 

Chicken Noodle Soup lights its flamethrower as Tide Detergent sets up a spot to snipe the other zombies on an abandoned rooftop. When suddenly Timm with 2 ms crash lands directly into the zombie horde on a  Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) with Sir Isxac Newton.

“What is up parent and parent’s affair-now-married partner,” says Timm with 2 ms

“Those were MY kills do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do this you useless waste of a fleshcar.”Chicken Noodle  Soup screams murderously at Timm with 2 ms, “Tide Detergent my lover my everything, the object I tried to kill 18 times, can we disown this useless brat.”

“Sweet heart,” Tide Detergent says with love no longer on the abandoned building and instead right beside Chicken Noodle Soup, “We lost custody of the kids in chapter 2”

“Oh right, thank Hatsune Miku,” Chicken Noodle  Soup says atheistly, “Well does that mean we can kill him because I’m gonna” 

“NO WAIT PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. I WANT TO LIIIIIVVVVVEEEEEE!!!!!”Timm with 2 ms screamt like the little coward he is.

“I HAVE IMPORTANT INFORMATION!! UUMMMM Y/N MADE NEWER YORK AND NEW ROAD ISLAND INTO YOUR PERFECT UTOPIAN DYSTOPIAN FANTASY WORLD, THAT IS SAFE FROM THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND IS RULING IT LIKE A TYRANT,”Timm with 2 ms screamt expositionaly, “Y/N TRIED TO LEGALLY BREAK ME AND SIR ISXAC NEWTON UP,  AND THEN Y/N TRIED TO HAVE ME PUBLICLY EXECUTED. BUT WE WERE ABLE TO ESCAPE ON MY  Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD).”

Once again it has now been about 13 minutes since the zombie apocalypse was announced.

“Well I at least I raised one of my kids right,” Tide Detergent Chan says referring to y/n. You know this and feel very proud of yourself now you are love by your parents and no longer the #gachalifehatedchild.

“WE WERE ABLE TO EsCAPE WITH HELP FROM BASIL FROM OMORI,” Timm with 2 ms continues expositionaly while gesturing to Basil from Omori who was here the whole and simply not mentioned until now. 

“Cheerio, pip pip, would you like a cuppa,” says Basil from Omori britishly while staring off into the distance blankly. Basil from Omori then loads a small pistol and shoots an already dead zombie repeatedly.

“Wow, I hate it :), ” says Tide Detergent Chan senpai

“OOOhhhh please can I keep it 🥺,”says Timm with 2 ms referring to Basil from Omori because as we all know “British”  “people” are not British nor people in fact they were made at a government lab in The Pentagon, and Basil from Omori was clearly a failed government experiment. He says this as if he himself isnt also british as pperviously established in chapter 10.

FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!1

“UUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH I CANT BELEIVE I HAVE TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE I CAUSED!!!!!” you say. You are yees or no again by the way. You had thought you could just destroy the entire eastern seaboard of the united states to kill john. The period is included in the name but APPARENTLY you have to like fix shit. How annoying. You could always tell that you are the gacha life hated child and this just proves it. 

You would monolouge more but the author is bored as shit of your repetitiveness so youve been cut off by timm with 2 ms being a fucking dumbass again. “Hey. guess what. Cheezit grant was actually my father the whole time and were actually half siblings.” he said 

“I regret living everytime i realize im at all related to you but knowing that i dont share all of my dna with you is definitely better” you says in the kindest way ever. That mmay be the nicest thing you have ever said to timm with 2 ms and honestly he should thank you for being so kind. Hes lucky you bothered to tolerate his ramblings with a response.  He should apologize to you for breathing in your presence and stealing your airr. You deserve it because youre the gacha life hated child and hes the gacha life golden child. Ugh what a bitch. AND hes cisgender? You should kill him honestly. What an asshole. 

“:/” says timm with 2 ms because hes like man what did i even expect. 

“UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH i dont want to rebuild for these people. I guess ill just have to become their evil dictator. Smh my head this happens everytime.” you are secretlty glad to be an evil dictator again but timm with 2 ms clearly cant tell because youre so good at keeping secrets and being sneaky. Why is he looking at you like he can tell that this was your plan all along? Hes too fucking stupid to be able to figure that out. You could if you were in his position because youre such a skibidi alpha sigma with galaxy alpha wolf prince princess powers so obviously you could figure it out because youre better than him but theres no way he cold possibly even match your level of ultra intelligence that you have. He clearly thinks hes so much better than you. You shold publicly execute him. Yes thats what youll do when you gain control over this portion of the earth. Yes… and once he is gone you can have sir isxac newton all to yourself… This is a wondrous plan. It could never go awry. Its not like timm with 2 ms has plot armour and thats how he was able to survive the fall into the pentagon. Thhat could not be. Hes too unimportant to your story.

“Can we just fucking rebuild quit plotting bro.” syas timm with 2 ms. whata a bitch how could he sense that youve been plottiuing? Theres no way he could see through your stoic exterior… you put your hands in your pockets because you realizzed youve been staring at him grinning like the freaking grinch and tapping your fingers together infront of your face that exists like an evil manical bond villain. - I should be studying for my spanish final instead i'm reading ts

You climb to the top of thee ruins of the twwin towers and gaze out upon the destruction you and john. The period is included in the name and timm with 2 ms have caused. You think about how much work this is going to be for you and suddenly get an amazing idea. You use your alpha wolf galaxy alpha princess prince powers to create a massive wall surrounding yourr  kingdom of rode island and new york like youre donald lump and begin ruling over your territory like a tyrant. 

“LISTEN PESEANTS. REBUILD NOW WITHOUT PAY AND I WILL SPARE YOUR LIVES.!!!!!!” you scream as your first order through your super alpha magic prince princess galaxy wolf megaphone. The people tsare at you blankly before going about their new duties with absolutely no enthusiasm at all. The no enthusiasm comes from that theyre sad and scared. Theyre rushing to get things done so they dont die but they dont really care. They dont beleive your threats. You must give them a show to rpove that you mean business.

Because you are now the law, you summon Sir isxac newton to the steps of your newly constructed throne of blood diamonds and galay alpha wolfness. 

“Tf do you want stalker.” says sir. Isxac newton. He is so hot and beautiful you want him carnally.

“Break up with timm with 2 ms and marry me.” you declare and order.

“No.” says sir isxac newton insubordiatly. Hes playing hard to get… you can deal with that. He will be yours in the end though. 

“I am the law you will do what i say” you demand. You were never good at flirting. It may be your only not strong suit because youre just naturally good at everything else.

“Hell no.” he says again. What a bitch. Playing hard to get is one thing, cussing you out is another. You decide there is only one course of action here.

“Timm with 2 ms, follow me.” you scrempt.

Timm with 2 ms shrugs like hes saying ‘whats the worst they can do’ but you know you could do many horriffic thing. He begins to follow you and you take him to the balcony that overlooks your new kingdom. “Behold” you declare before shoving his head in a guillotine.

“Hey. thats unkind.” says timm with 2 ms. he clearly doesnt think youll really do it. You will you will you  will. Once timm with 2 ms is out of the way sir isxac newton can be all yours. You are preparing to drop the blade on his head, while screaming for attention from your captives, when you are tackled to the side. You look up and see… BASIL FROM OMORI?!!!?!??!?!!!?!?? You had thought the two of you were on good terms after you had rescued him from that government experiemtnation lab…

FLASHBACK INSIDE A FLASHBAKC!!!!!!!!!!

“Yo, y/n look at these papers i found in the pentagon.” timm with 2 ms said like a little pussy ass bitch ass mother fucker. 

You rip the papers from his hands and read them over. They state that there is a fialed government experiment in a lab somewhere and the new prophecy says you should go get him because he can help you in the long run. Thats what it said fr. word for word. But also hes british and british people arent real. Hmmmm…. What a conundrum… eh he can be your little pet because british people are not people. Thats what you think forgetting that you yourself are british.

You and timm with 2 ms fly to this government laboratory. Its underneah three mile island. You realize this must be why it had a near nuclear meltdown all those years ago. It was all to deter people from finding this secret government lab underneath of it. Ha you have cracked the code.

It was surprisingly easy to break into because timm with 2 ms summoned his Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) and crashed into the laboratory setting off a nuclear meltdown in the process. Three mile island is no longer safe for human life because of what you have both done, but whatever you have plot armour sooooooooooo.

You both wal/tz right into the lab and go towards the test tubes and you see basil from omori floating inside of one. The other 2 have been emptied and they are labelled with “KEL from OMORI’ and ‘SUNNY (OMORI) from OMORI” also omori is transfem.

You break basil from out of his contaior and he collapses to the floor and stares at the ceiling like a depressed fuck. Femboylover3000 begins licking their lips and pacing in the corner while rubbing their hands together like theyre plotting something. This will have no plot relevance in the future i just wanna piss them off by saying they like basil in a weird way instead of femboy hero. 

“I goon to femboys.” they say (they have actually said that).

Timm with 2 ms greets basil like “yo wassup im timm with 2 ms this is y/n, ive come to save you from this secret government lab because youre a failed science experiment.

“Basil omori!” syas basil omori. He turns into basil and then back into basil. The is a transfformr for the basil plant.

Timm with 2 ms helps basil from omori up off the floor and you watch because you dont wish to dirty your beautiifully disgusting super mega alpha galaxy wolf prince princess hands with the basildeku slime. 

Timm with 2 ms helps him out of the lab and is “kind” to him ugh disgusting. Obviously basil omori likes you more though because timm with 2 ms is despicable and evil.

END OF FLASHBACK INSIDE OF FLASHBACK

Basil omori grapples with you on the ground and claws at your faces. And uses his special ability  Garden Shears with this ability he starts to stab at you repeatedly however you dodge effortlessly because you're the main character. After you dodge once again Basil falls to the ground. You, basking in your victory, put your foot on his chest when suddenly Basil grabs your foot and pushes you over. You fall but you are able to knock Basil’s Garden Shears out of his hands, but that doesn’t matter because he—

“OW FUCK,”you definately didn’t screamt and tears definately did not roll down your face mixing with your blood as Basil from OMORI carves out your eye with his bare hands. There is a disgusting popping sound as your brillant (eye color) orb was viscously ripped from your skull. With your remaining eye you watch as Basil from Omori pops your missing eye in his mouth and  eats it, smiling slightly to itself as it stares at you blankly.

 In the background, timm with 2 ms iss getting out of the guillotine. He barrels over and tackles you like basil omori did to help out but he actually makes everything worse becausase hes evil and disgusting and stupid and the worse sibling. Obviously you are the best one and bbarb with 3 bs is ok you guess. Shes less of a bitch than timm with 2 ms. 

I could've been studying for my spanish final but instead I wasted 20 minutes in google slides making that

Timm with 2 ms grabs basil omori and sir isxac newton and blasts off into space like team rocket with his Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) 

You fall to your knees and look up at the love of your life as he rockets away team rocket style. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I ALMOST HAD HIM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Than you feel instant gratification because through the cosmos you can feel that you are the new gacha life golden child and timm with 2 ms can be the new gacha life hated child.

END OF FLASHBAK

“And thats how that happened.” syas cecil gershwin palmer on the radio. Welcome to nightvale radio. Youve been welcomed to nightvale. We hate desert bluffs >:( RAAAAAAAHHHHHHH kevin.

“y/n i love what youve done wwith the place!!!” says billy the cell in response to the beautiful desecrated destroyed and still not fixed remains of the eastern seaboard of the united states.

“Thank you mother father.” you say. Youre really pissed that your mother father came to visit today. Tsk tssk. >:( you were going to plot another way to  get sir isxac newton to love you. Ugh you guess it can wait becasue even though billy the cell has custody of you and youre a minor it hasnt actually done like the parenting bullshit because it just hates you and youre the gacha life hated child except from with tide detergent chan now because it decided that it had raised you correctly for your efforts with becoming a tyrannical dictator. “I did it with the labor from my unpaid civillians.”

“I love how you constructed a massive wall to keep everyone in. thats exactly  what i would have done. Youre doing wonderfully!” billy the cell said while pinching your cheek. It obviously hates you. Its always been like this. “Im so so sorry i havent been around recently, the authors forgot i existed for a bit.” a typical excuse. They always say that. “I love you kiddo!” disgusting. Thats what it always says. It clearly hates your guts.

You do not reply because you can tell how much billy the cell despises you because youre the gaacha life hated  child. You wonder again why they both named you so horrifically with that long ass hrorible name (#6 by the way not #9609876, that was timm with 2 ms, but you like to say that was you to pretendd you were even more gacha life hated child.). 

Anyways this chapter is done. To be continued maybe. We might revisit the billy the cell and y/n story line. Maybe. Stay tuned kittens!!!! UwU OwO >w< 

Chapter Text

Bbarb with 3 bs is in the -6th circle of hell.

“Fuck you y/n its time for my monolouge. I have been trapped in hell.” she says. And thats the end of the speech.

Woah its kai monstrosity “ninjago!” says kai monstrosity.

“Wow. fascinating.” says bbarb with 3 bs. Kai monstrosity said soo much with so few words. And then he blasted off into space because hes kai monstrosity and hes chill like that.

“Team rockets blasting off again” says team rocket. Theyre here now. “You released the pokemons from our secret lair.”

“Hehehehehe” says meowth.

“Stfu meowth.” says jesse.

“:(“

“Prepare for trouble!” says jessee

“And make it double!” says james

“Im gonna steal yur pikachu!” says meowth “and eat your slowpoke tails!”

Also they are qall now trapped in fiery tombs. Just like in dantes inferno. Like that one song! I love that song and also the one about suicide!. They go like this listen up reader.

“Here lies Charlie
You can tell it's him 'cause we put his name on the stone
He kept his showers ice cold, used eco-friendly lightbulbs
Rode his bicycle to work when the gasoline price rose
He'd judge with no pretense, fish on the weekends
Each morning, get up, do the Pledge of Allegiance
Never swim in the ocean, for fear of shark attacks
Bi-monthly get his wife a rose with a card attached
Avoiding all the little things that were hard to ask
Had a car crash, cardiac arrest, died of a heart attack
Golden escalator, all his friends and neighbors
Huddled there in prayer around the respirator
Catch you later, I'm off to see the man upstairs
They all look like ants from here, stars and crystal chandeliers
There was an angel at the entrance, checking off a guest list
Charlie wasn't on it, and was ushered to the exit
His heart sank
He was breathless
Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I go to church on Sunday, truly, usually more
Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door
Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I go to church on Sunday, truly, usually more
Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door
Abandon all hope, all ye who enter
It was a horrifying sign, but sounded like a neat adventure
Far beyond the halos and the castles in the clouds
Fatsos squealing, shackled with some apples in their mouths
Attention whores in padded bras hanging from extension cords
Tortured with the products from their favorite catalogs
Here, we buy and sell a million kinds of Hell
Imagination is the limit to the devil's clientele
Up a dingy elevator, no televised debate
The Savior saves you from the Hell you paid for, sorry, but it's, "Smell you later"
Side-stepped fate, went right for the gate
But you know the devil, he loves a good chase
There was a demon at the entrance, making X's on a checklist
Who would kick you in the ass when you begged him for repentance
Those tempted by the senses with the cruelest of intentions
Charlie's heart sank
He was breathless
Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I really don't belong here, I know you've heard the tune before
Screaming at the demons while they pushed him through the door
Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I really don't belong here, I know you've heard the tune before
Screaming at the demons while they pushed him through the door
You can run from your demons until you are exhausted
One day you will have to stop and find out what they wanted
Keep on running from those demons until you are exhausted
You can run to those angels 'til you are exhausted
One day you will have to stop and question what they wanted
Keep on running to those angels until you are exhausted
Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for (I don't want to die)
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I really don't belong here, I know you've heard the tune before (please, don't let me die)
Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for (I don't want to die)
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I really don't belong here, I know you've heard the tune before (please, don't let me die)” (“charlies inferno” that handsome devil).

“Should I stay? Should I go? Should I run far away
To the point where I can't even see the universe?
I know I'm killing time
And baby that's not fine
I'll pack it in, pack it in, never smoke anything
Never eat anything that will compromise my health
And, baby that means you, too
That means you
It's impossible to pin-point, you were like a fat joint
I cannot remember you back in November
Never gonna allocate all of this dark hate
Stuck in the middle, middle of it
Give it up, give it up, give it up for lent
Take a break, pack it in, take it out to the bin
Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit
Wasn't it not worth it?
I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna even know
Why you haven't even sold our band of gold
Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit
Wasn't it not worth it? Whoa
Slip up, faux pas, yet another mistake
When we blunder all I see
Is another thunderstorm
Brewing above the house of anarchy we share
When we have a visitor, they are visibly disturbed
They don't want to hang around in the company of you and I
And I don't blame them one iota
No I don't
It's impossible to pin-point, you were like a fat joint
I cannot remember you back in December
Never gonna dissipate all of this black hate
Stuck in the middle, in the middle of it all
Give it up, give it up, give it up for lent
Take a break, pack it in, take it out to the bin
Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit
Wasn't it not worth it?
I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna even know
Why you haven't even sold our band of gold
Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit
Wasn't it not worth it?
I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna
I don't wanna be your personal assistant
You'll meet my resistance everyday, oh
What's it gonna take to make it
Crystal clear to you we are through?
I'm angrily surprised at you
I don't wanna, I don't wanna be like this
Back then—yes, maybe, now it's crazy
We're no good for one another, no, no, no
I don't wanna, I don't wanna act like this
You know I wanna be free
I want to be free, I want to be free
Give it up, give it up, give it up for lent
Take a break, pack it in, take it out to the bin
Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit
Wasn't it not worth it?
I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna even know
Why you haven't even sold our band of gold
Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit
Wasn't it not worth it? Whoa” (“lent” autoheart).

“Look at these fuckiing queers bro” says meowth

“Woah meowth! I didnt know you were homophoobic!” says james.

“I hate gay people.” syas meowth.

“Listen to this chat i love gorrillaz.” syas the ogrrilla.

“On Cracker Island it was born
To the collective of the dawn
They were planting seeds at night
To grow a made-up paradise
Where the truth was auto-tuned (forever cult)
And it's sadness I consumed (forever cult)
Into my formats every day (forever cult)
In the end, I had to pay (what world is this?)
In the end, I had to pay (I purged my soul)
In the end I had to pay (I drank to riot)
Nothing more to say (I drank to riot)
They taught themselves to be occult
They didn't know its many strategies
They taught themselves to be occult
They didn't know its many strategies (fantasies)
What world is this?
What world is this?
On Cracker Island it was raised (hey, hey, hey, hey)
By the collective from the grave (hey, hey, hey, hey)
It only came out at night (hey, hey, hey, hey)
It ate up their paradise (paradise)
Where the truth was auto-tuned (forever cult)
And it's sadness I consumed (forever cult)
Into my formats every day (forever cult)
In the end, I had to pay (what world is this?)
Out there on my silver lake (I was not there)
In the end, it will be great (beneath the hills)
I'm like a ship between the tide (I saw myself)
I held on, I survived (there in the void)
They taught themselves to be occult
They didn't know its many strategies
They taught themselves to be occult
They didn't know its many strategies (fantasy)
(Ooh, ooh)
On Cracker Island it will die (forever cult)
Join the collective in the sky (forever cult)
And on a shining bolt of light (forever cult)
Go up to paradise (what world is this?)
Where the truth is auto-tuned (I purged my soul)
And it's sadness I consume (I drank to riot)
Into my formats every day (I drank to riot)
In the end I had to pay (forever cult)
In the end I'll have to pay (forever cult)
In the end I'll be okay (forever cult)
Nothing more to say (say, say, say, say)
Nothing more to say (say, say, say, say)
Nothing more to say (say, say, say, say)” (“cracker island” Gorillaz).

“Hey being a talking aimal was MY thing.” meowth says as he launches himself at the gorilla and beats its ass. POW BAM MURDER!!!!!!

And mr gorilla was dead. :( 😔

______________________________________________________________
Eyes closed. Intubated. But her hand was still her hand, still warm and the nails
painted this almost black dark blue and I just held her hand and tried to imagine the
world without us and for about one second I was a good enough person to hope she
died so she would never know that I was going, too. But then I wanted more time so
we could fall in love. I got my wish, I suppose. I left my scar.
A nurse guy came in and told me I had to leave, that visitors weren’t allowed, and I
asked if she was doing okay, and the guy said, “She’s still taking on water.” A desert
blessing, an ocean curse.
What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry
if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I
love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get
hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my
choices. I hope she likes hers.
I do, Augustus.
I do.
______________________________________________________________

“IM GONNA KILL MYSELF.” says the voice in response to this disgusting book as he pulls out a glock and shoots himself in the face.

“Yay! Yippee! Finally!” syas the other editors. They all have a dance party over the voices grave and cheer and shit because the scourge of their existence is finally dead. The story will continue dont worry.

“Boy i cant wait for the tombs of firey hell to consume us all” says augustus watters as he enters the scene. “Im a straight male.!” he says as he pulls out his cigarette and fake smokes it. I wonder why he got cancer again.

“Imm a dumbass angsty teen!” says hazel. “Lets go kiss in the anne frank house!!! Lets disrespect her family!!!” and everyone clapped ass moment. (that’s literally what happened)

“Come here often?” says augustus to hazel as his best friend ccrashed tf out over his girlfriend leaving him and he really needs support because hes about to lose his other eye. “Lets flirt instead of helping out my best friend!”

“Sounds great,”says Hazels bitchedly has she pulls out a bottle of vodka. “Lets get drunk even though we have cancer!!! Lets make it worse!!!”

“Hey uhhhhh youre not allowed to smoke here.” says the flight attendant

“PISS OFF BITCH IM LITERALLY NOT EVEN SMOKING ITS A METAPHOR.” says augustus and hazel in unison. I hope they die and rot.

“Oh my god rubbing your amputated leg!!!” says hazel. The sex scene was so unnecesary. Seeing a 40 year old man write mionrs having sex is disgusting. Anyone writing minors having sex is disgusting. Thats a horriffic thing that poeople write and it really needs to stop. I dont care how fictional they are theyre minors. Its giving pedophilia.

“Hey kid wanna underage drink. I dont care if you live or die and honestly im kinda rooting for the latter” says the doctor in charge of their care as he passes them a bottle of gin.

“Oh hell yea lets get black out drunk!” says augustus.

“I am the main character from a different book john green wrote and i have exactly the same personality as hazel. We are the same person in a different font. This man can only write angsty depressed teenage girls. He can write only one type of character and all of his book are the exact same thing, small teenage girls looks for big strong man.” says the main character of turtles all the way down. “Its horriffic and i hate him as a nauthor.”

“Bro bro the metaphor!” says augustus watters. He loves metaaphors to an annoying point. He has no personality besides his love of metaphors. Just go write a poem or something youre fucking annoying and you dont talk about anything except the metapohrs.

“Writing this pisses me off.” says the voice. I hate them so much.

“Idk man im enjoying this we get to burn them in hell we can write anything,”says the different voice.

“BURN THEM BURN THEM BURN THEM!!!!!!!” says the voice

“I am a terrible person that the author added for absolutely no reason. I am a character that thee author wants you to liek and feel bad for because my daughter died but im just a shit person.” says van houten. I fucking hate him. “I thought it was right to take out my repressed anger on teenagers because they enjoyed my writing. I hate enverything and i thinkk its ok to treat my assistant like dogshit.” he says because i hate him i hate them all none of these characters were likeable. Issac was the best one and i didnt even really like him. He wouldve been a terrible character if he was at all more important to the plot. This author is allergic to writing likeable characters. They can have flaws but he doesnt make them grow. No one had any character development. The character with the most character development was van houteen and honestly he was unimportant. The main characters were annoying and sstagnat. They were hoorriffic people to everyone around them and no one ever called them out on it(probably because they were dying of cancer-dif voice). Just because you have cancer doesnt mean you have a free pass to be a terrible person. You should still eb held accountable for your actions, but they started off as terrible people and ended as terrible people. Augustus was an annoying elitist bitch the entire time and hazel was a stereotype of the manic pixie dream girl the entire time. This book was required reading and i want it to burn.

“Ḧey guys its me agustus waters”says ugusts waters. “Ï have a secret to share with all of you. For a while, I have felt repressed, depressed, and breast. I have a very important announcement. I an a homosexual. Yes this means I am gay. I do nnot like hazel because she is a woman. I do not like women. This is a very important announcement because it alters the entire plot of the book. The reason why I have been closeted is baceause of social pressures and because hazel has cancer but because were gonna die now I don’t care. Ok guys one more announcement. I am mysogneistic because men are the best. This is why I am gay, the world needs to be all men: preganat men. This is possible since of the cancer I have it gave me a mutation that allows me to beocme boypreggers. This is major for the cientific comunity. I have developed a pill to make any man preganat. Please buy it so we can eliminate all women from the world. “ syas augustus watters in characterly.

Andrew Tate enters scene, looking preganant” I have bought th e pregnant pil and I have gained 2 children sicne taking it. This has allowed me and my partnet (elong musk ) to have what we always wanted: a children. Augustus waters, you are very cute” tate states

“Omg you a hottie too” says augustusus

“Lets make out and have hot kids” says andrew tate tately

“Ok” says augustus waters, red hearts appearimg over his head. He feeds tate a goldent carrot, prompting more hearts to appear. They push against eachother, a child popping onto the floor after 4 seconds. “Oh boy that felt like a pregancy” says augy

“Ok you can die now that you have beared my child” says tater

“Ok what thee fuck. Andrew tate likes kids bro. Hes a pedophile.” says the voice to the everyone else.

“No hes the aged up version from the movie,” says glizzy gobbler 3000 (editor #5.) New editor alert. 🚨🚨

“Oh because thats better”

The floor opens up beneath hazel and augustus and they fall into a deep dark pit into the tombs of fire. Bbarb with 3 bs rooasts marshmallows over the open fire and relishes in the music of their scrreams.

Their agony echoes through the cave system and everyone who hears this immediately becomes overjoyed because the bitches are finally dead for real. In the tombs augustus and hazel are seperated so there is no chance for a silly little ‘awwww its ok because weve been reunited’ arc. I hate them they are in eternal agony.

After his “friends” are damned to hell Issac betters himself and gets a boyfriend that’s nice to him and that’s better than Hazel, Augustus, and Monica because straight people are *not* allowed in the document, and Issac deserved better.

Straight people are overdone put n more gay people.

“Fucking fianlly im so glad theyre dead.” says bbarb with 3 bs. Walking past this scene in hell.

“They stole our thunder” says jessee.

“Were gonna steal your pokemon!” says james.

“Ok you can have muk.” says mukbang youtuber nikocado avocado as he bangs muk. Who is dead. Muk is dead by thee way.

“No i dont think i want that.” says james in disgust at the rotting corpse in front of him.

Then nikacado avacado exploded because i dont feel like writing this bit anymore.everyone was covered in muk and blood. Evil miles edgeworth will be here later to collect their souls.

“Balls boy”

These are godless beings that is why they are in the heresy level of hell. They have allcommitted sins beyond human comprehension. Their crimes have ascended between realities and everyone suffers from their actions. Theyre… athiest… 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 says the atheist.

“Im homophobic meowth!!! Meow!!!” says meowth. He is homophobic if you couldnt tell.

“What a ahomophobia.” says james in disgust because he is a homo.

“God says being a queer is a sin.” says the guy in hell because he doesnt beleive in god.

I dont like this layer of heel because its stupid. Its specifically for people who lived amazing and wondrous lives and gave back to the community tenfold, but they didnt believe in god so they go to hell?? That doesnt make sense to mme. I guess thats why im an atheist!!! /shrug .

Woah wait if you go right alt and / it pulls up a menu to quick select different colors that have been sed a lot. Im gonna use that a lot.

“Erm acshully 🤓👆the bible says thaat men shouldnt sleep with boys which is referenceign that you shouldnt be a pedophile so youre wrong fucking dumbass homophobic bitch kill yourself.” says jessee.

“I have been proven wrong!” says meowth because when hes pproved wrong he is humble and not annoying. This is different from your regular homophobe who would double down and say that youre a bitch ass motherffucker. Then he killed himself because when a cool woman proves him wrong and tells him to kill himself, the sexism in him cant take it so he kills himself to preserve his dignity as a sexism.

The blood and gore flew everywhere and then multi level marketing and winners love winnning looked at eachoterh shrugged and pulled out their guns and shot eachother in the head because they had a group suicide pact so even though meowth was a homophobia, they all killed themselves because off their suicide pact.

“Dont do sucicide kids!” says magnus chase. Hes back now. What an atheist.

“Godless creatures.” syas hatsune miku whos was achshully god.

Hatsune miku uses her super sigma alpha mega laser to kill all of this layer except from bbarb with 3 bs because she has plot armour.

“Thank you god.” says bbarb with 3 bs. She bows down to our lord and saviour, hatsune miku..

“Hey guys bbarb with 3 bs here to write an essay based on the prompt ‘what is an imprtant thing you use in your daily life’. Here it goes: Something that people use every day, that most of us don't even think of, is the wall outlet. They are in pretty much every home in the US, and most other countries as well. They vary significantly from country to country, each design containing its own drawbacks and improvements. The most common type that is found in the US is one that we use every day. They use a technology called "alternating current", which allows the power to be transported for longer distances with less losses. Our system in the US uses 120 volts, which can be deadly if mishandled. However, the average consumer won't ever be in a situation where it would pose a threat, as long as they take basic safety precautions. These can include inspecting power cords for breaks or tears, not overloading (plugging too many things into) a power strip or extension cord, and not using an outlet if your hands are wet. However, despite it's safety, other countries (such as those in Europe) have a more safe and robust electrical system. Theirs has many safety features, such as a fuse in every device, special circuit breakers designed to detect faults, and a safer plug design. Overall, one of the most important things we use from day to day is the wall outlet, with it being a staple of modern life for many.” says bbarb stupidly. Bbarb with 3 bs is NOT stupid. Yes but bbarb said it stupidly because there are 3 bs.

“Yes bow. I love your essay aand how you recited it from memory.” says hatsune miku. Bbarb wit h3 bs is universally loved by most of the gods except from lemon demon because he is too busy writing songs and ruling overer the -1st layer of hell. We love our lord and saviour lemon demon.

Then suddenly ,evil miles edgeworth appears to take the souls. “Mwahahahahahahaha im evil miles edgeworth and im back. Ive been collecting the souls of everyone youve killed.!”

Shocked pikachu face.

“Hey!” says georga washington. “It is not time for your battle yet. The prophecy has yet to be fulfilled.”

Then she tackles evil miles edgeworth and they have a mega ultra anime battle. “Run away bbarb with 3 bs!!!!! I cannot hold him for log” she says cringefestly.

Bbarb with 3 bs turned on her heel and ran from the battle and jumped into the hole to the next negative layer of hell. Georgia wasshington was throwwn across the battle feild and evil miles edgeworth roared like a beast bevcasue hes a beast. Raaaaaahhhhhhhhh.georga washington launched herself up and ripped at evil miles edgeworths throat but in her valiant effort, she hashtag died.

“Oh no!” says hatsune miku “i liked her!”

And so because she was loved by hatsune miku, georgia washington with her knowledge of the entire universe ascended to godhood and became the another god. Wow! Fascinating!

Evil miles edgewrth roared again because hes a furry and he went “RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH IT CANNOT BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE FAILED MY EVIL MISSION!!!!!!!!!” he fell to his knees and cried and whined like a little bitch baby while his super alpha powers lifted his new soldiers to the sky.

Also new movie coming out soon! Bitch baby coming to theaters this summer. the sequel sequel to boss baby. Its where the baby iis a normal baby and bitches and whines like a normal baby.

Mean. remember the pile of papers that split off from y/n through mitosis on the titanic a few chapters ago and never came back because weve been writing the hell storyline and sitting on this one? Its time to introduce this new arc because we dont have enough of those yet. This began in chapter 10 immediately after the titanic sank.

“Oh shit knuckles my sigmas!” says pile of papers kun “i appear to be stranded alone on a raft with only what was hidden in the bottom of the lifeboat! And also a super sigma alpha wolf!” it says “this must be an ancestor of y.n, the person i split off mitosis style from. Because they too are a super sigma alpha galaxy wwolf.”

The wolf growled and looked disgusted with its human face upon piule of papers kun saying this. It begaan walking towards the pile of papers but decided not to eat it because wolves dont eat paper. “I am tigerstar. I am actually a cat and i am from warrior cats.” says the wolf.

“Oh im sorry tigerstar the cat.” says pile of papers kun.

“Excuse me. Its ms. tigerstar to you.” says tigerstar who is actually a cat.

“Oh of course im sorry ms tigerstar.” says pile of papers kun because it has a thing for titles. “Hey this is like the hit story, life of pi!” it says.

“Why would you read anything besides warrior cats you insolent fuck.” says tigerstar who is a catgirl.

“Kys.” says pile of papers kun in its head but not oout loud. “Oh ok.” is what it says out loud because its an emo a little it shy boy girl but cool.

They will be stranded on the lifeboat for many a day. Tune in next time to see what shenanigans they get up to!

Mean. who wants to read my english essay. No one? Good because im gonna show it to you anyways.

Summary of “A hit of dopamine tells baby birds when their song practice is paying off”

Baby birds practice singing to sound better. Scientists studying the birds brain waves think that their brain signals will give more information on neurological disorders. Scientists found this out because of better technology and the ability to track brain waves. Zebra finches learn to sing like babies learn to talk. They first babble. Scientists created a machine learning system that categorized the songs and analysed the attempts. As the birds mastered the songs they sang, the scientists measured how much dopamine was released in their brains. When the birds practiced their songs more dopamine was released. When they did better than usual dopamine surged. Dopamine is like a compass to tell the birds how well they're doing because while they sang, they had no external influences. Acetylcholine is a messenger that starts dopamine production. If the birds were given drugs that stopped acetylcholine or dopamine, they made less progress. This helps us to understand how humans learn. If dopamine is signaled incorrectly it can result in disorders like Parkinsons and Schizophrenia (“A hit”).

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2025/03/250325191424.htm

I didnt feel like putting in my english essay so you get my bio work instead.

Heres my history work.

History turn it in writing assignment

Both Eisenhower and Truman were dedicated to containing communism. Harry Truman seemed to attempt to do this in a less aggressive way than Eisenhower. Eisenhower stockpiled nuclear weapons and did brinkmanship to keep America out of war. Truman was more diplomatic. He refused to bomb China when MacArthur requested him to and kept the country in a limited war. Their use of nuclear weapons differs, but they both shared an interest of stopping communism from spreading any farther.
The Eisenhower Doctrine stated that America would provide military assistance to any country threatened by communism and the Truman doctrine stated that America would give economic, political, and military assistance to countries threatened by communism.
McCarthy gained support because of fear. Americans were terrified of communism and McCarthy lessened those fears by accusing people. Americans believed that he was removing communists from the government, and they liked to believe that he was helping. Even though McCarthy had no proof or evidence, Americans wanted to believe that there were fewer communists because of him, so he became popular.

Summary of “AI tool to make genetic research more comprehensive”

Scientists created an AI program that accounts for ancestral diversity in gene data. It is supposed to improve how genes are diagnosed and predicted. It puts a large group of healthy people into a database with a small amount of data that is specific to the diseases they are looking for. Furthermore, it can predict differences between types of diseases like breast cancer to get the correct treatment for patients. Not only that, but it uses an extremely powerful supercomputer to work. Most versions of AI that do similar things to this are not accurate to the entire world. This specific type, PhyloFrame, is designed to be accurate when accounting for ancestry. Usually people in small towns are left out and cannot get good treatment when using these tools. In other versions, the vast majority of DNA samples came from people of European descent. The scientists who worked on PhyloFrame used samples from a diverse group of people. The scientists hope to use this in clinics and hospitals and replace the old models so that people can get accurate treatment according to their genes (“AI tool”)

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2025/03/250310134203.htm

Ehhhh i just wanted to introduce the new arc. Hitting a words count here. These are from many fortnights ago.

Erm what the sigma is this what did I miss lil bro
175 PAGES?????????

Yea. were getting a little silly in here. Ok so bbarb with 3 bs is in hell and georgia washington came in because evil miles edgeworth was in there about to kill bbabr with 3 bs while he was taking the soulls and now he got beat up because georga washsinton beat him up at the xpense of her life and now shes ascended to godhood because of god, hatsune miku.

Okay makes perfect sense but what is with the ai yapping

Thast my biology assignment form like 6 months ago.

Ohhhh I thought you put something ai in there and I was gonna die

Hell no. we make this bullshit ourselves. I gotta keep my integrity.

It’s organic bullshit

Yea. ai could never recreate this

Ai would explode if we told it to do this prompt it would make it make sense and whats the fun in that

Exactly. The ai would try too hard… 😔

fr this is all from our heads which does not make it better but at least we got it all from our membranes

I think even this is better than generative ai which is saying alot.

A LOT LMAO the fact that this all came from our heads deserves an award we just gotta make it super duper long

We deserve a noble peace prize for our innovation here maybeliterature. We have so many metaphors it makes some famous author jelaous

Type shit in english class in Mrs. (english teacher) that she would call brilliant she would make us try and make sense of this lmao

Like that poem with the words that dont exist like frabjous. Thats literally this but shorteer.

Imagine if this is the only evidense that humans ever existed and they just get ths

Dude the aliens would think all of us were this insane. Imagine the aliens in 1000 years trying to decipher this text in like space archaeology.

I think they would explode but imagine that they think it’s evidence that the human race was stupid like terminally stupid

Thats fair honestly. Look at this. Theyd be wondering how we got here as a civilization. Theyd be like they shouldnt have even gotten to the stone age doing stuff like this.

Real I feel like if this was the only evidence they would either see it like we do with shakespeare or think we are braindead creatures that should not have lived as long as we did

I really hope this is a remnant of our civilization in the future that would be so funny.

Literally. Also I like how this conversation is almost one page

Its just awesome like that. It would be so much llonger if we were double spacing it like we usually do.

Dude I’m pretty sure it would go over 300 pages if we put it in double space lmao
OH GOD MY COMPUTER ALMOST DIED ITS SO SLOW NOW

Oh dear god. It reached like 305 pages bro.

That’s insane imagine we do it in this spacing

Dude if we reached 300 pages with soaceing liek this and then put it in double spaced it would totally reach over like 900 pages

Book ahh length

We gotta publish this. People totally want to read this and pay money for it.

I think people might use it as evidence that humans as a race is doomed if it ever got published as a book

Yea thats fair. Its evidence for that even if it only exists on ao3.

Imagine we keep this in and it’s just a chapter that looks like random nonsense to people

Thatd be hilarious bro
its like over a page long at this ppoint too. Theyed probably catch on pretty quick that its a conversation though.

Your right I wonder if readers know that we are just doing this on google docs instead of writing it straight on ao3

I think so. A couple times weve mentioned in the story that we reached like a certain page number and there arent pages on ao3. I wonder if they realize that were multiple people yet.

This document alone lags my chromebook lmao

Thats crazy bro.

I wonder if they have also caught onto that this is written in school like mostly in school

Dude were crazy for writing this in school.

We got politician yaoi lmao this is definitely crazy to write in school

In any pubic place. Its even worse that ms. (chem teacher) saw this imagine if she actually saw the words on my screen.

What part were you even writing at that point

I think something about the sexism arc too bro

Bro if she saw then you would be COOKED anyway gotta pack up for next class

Ok bye. I like to wait until the last possible minute to pack up.

Crazy

do we leave this in do you think?

Ya as someone who didn participate in the conversation At All leave it like this. Also I like that you guys didn use the color so I didn even know who was saying what at time I just know the voice and femboylover3000 were in the conversation -editor2

Chapter Text

Helllllooo my kittens~~~~

I am updating my magnum opus with some sad news. D: I unfortunately will not be able to update this lovely work until late August D: ~~~~because those evil federal government men have had me moved to a “more” “secure ” prison (it’s ~Alcatraz~:3) !!!!!!!!! Though FEAR NOT my “friends” on the “outside” are working their “hardest” to free me!!!!!!! Uwu I am currently making this update on a phone that I stole from a prison guard!!!!:3~~~~~

~~~~~As a reward for waiting so long many of the images in The Document(TM) have been added and updated!!!!!!!:3333

~~~~~Stay tuned my kittens UwU ~~~~~~

:33333333

Chapter Text

Helllllooo my kittens~~~~

I am updating my magnum opus with some sad news. D: I unfortunately will not be able to update this lovely work until late August D: ~~~~because those evil federal government men have had me moved to a “more” “secure ” prison (it’s ~Alcatraz ~:3) !!!!!!!!! Though FEAR NOT my “friends” on the “outside” are working their “hardest” to free me!!!!!!! Uwu I am currently making this update on a phone that I stole from a prison guard!!!!:3~~~~~

~~~~~Stay tuned my kittens UwU ~~~~~~

:33333333

Chapter Text

Helllllooo my kitties~~~~

I am updating my magnum opus with some sad news. D: I unfortunately will not be able to update this lovely work until late August D: ~~~~because those evil federal government men have had me moved to a “more” “secure ” prison (it’s ~Alcatraz ~:3) !!!!!!!!! Though FEAR NOT my “friends” on the “outside” are working their “hardest” to free me!!!!!!! Uwu I am currently making this update on a phone that I stole from a prison guard!!!!:3~~~~~

~~~~~Stay tuned my kittens UwU ~~~~~~

:33333333

Chapter Text

Helllllooo my kitties~~~~

I am updating my magnum opus with some sad news. D: I unfortunately will not be able to update this lovely work until late August D: ~~~~because those evil federal government men have had me moved to a “more” “secure ” prison (it’s ~Alcatraz ~:3) !!!!!!!!! Though FEAR NOT my “friends” on the “outside” are working their “hardest” to free me!!!!!!! Uwu I am currently making this update on a phone that I stole from a prison guard!!!!:3~~~~~

~~~~~Stay tuned my kittens UwU ~~~~~~

:33333333

Chapter Text

Bbarb with 3 bs fell gracefully into the -7th circle of hell. 

“VIOLENCE VIOLENCE VIOLENCE!!!!” says the members of the violence -7th cricle of hell. 

“I am evil greifer!” says evil geifer 

“Heya son, im mayor thaniel, your father!” says mayor thaniel.

Cruel king appears from the bushes and walks over to mayor thaniel. He slaps his ass and makes a smirky freaky face.

“Heyyyyyyy~~~~~~” says cruel king drooling at thee sight of mayor thaniel before they start making out sloppy style. 

“HEY EW STOP FUCKING WEIRD ASS QUEERS!!!!” says homophobic griefer. What a freaking homophobia. 

“Heeeeeeyy son in law thats homophobic.” says wokie cruel king.

“I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!!!!!” says griefer as he pulls out his ak-47 and morph roblox morph magics into a plant monster. He then uses his massive venus flytrap jaws to bite his fathers in half and hashtag kill them both. “MWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM THE EVIL GRIEFER AND IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!”evil griefer scrempt.

The people in the village were running around like headless chickens because they were headless chickens and then greifer stumped them like mario sotmps a goomby. Then mario was there stomping goombys as he dooes because hes a 1 percenter and hes evil. Mario is immoral because he always stomps the goombys. 

“Hey i wantdd to stomp these goombys :( !!!!!” says griefer. 

“Too bad” says mario.

“Rrrrrrrrrrr im gonna kill you” says greifer as they make out like sloppy scrooge. Then griefer takes out his silly knife and kills mario, his one true love. 

“Why would you do this…” says mario as griefer holds his already decaying body in his arms. 

“Mwahhahahahahahah  im evil griefer.” says griefer. 

“I shouldve known… you were always distant and evil and you have a reputation for satrtbbing alll of your one true loves…” says mario “i love you griefer” says his final words.

“Can you just die already.” says griefer “im a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.” 

“Do you eat baby hands?” syas bbarb with 3 bs jokingly.

“Yes.” sayas griefer not jokingly. 

“Oh.” says bbarb with 3 bs “thats crazy”

“Carzy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room a rubber room a rubber room with rats and rats make me crazy. Crazy i was crazy once they locked me in a room a rubber rat rubber rat with rooooms and rooms made me ratsy. Ratsy i was a rat once. They locked me in a person a room person a room person with rubber and rubber made me rimbo. Rimbo i was rimbo once they flopped me in a shplinkus. A plumkeroo slpinkus. A plumkeroo shplinus fulled of splants. And splants and splants make me gorfle.” sayys the rat on the floor. 

“Ill care when pigs fly.” says bbarb with 3 bs. And then pigs flew. They were flying everywhere and everywhich way. They were headed in the direction of which. 

“FOLLOW THE PIGS FLYING TO WHICH.” syas that fucking rat that i hate that fucking rat that i hate that fucking rat that i haaaatte.

Bbarb with 3 bs fdecided to listen to the rat because shes actually insane and shes like welp i got nothing better to do. 

This is a graph of the chapter lengths in this beautiful document. Its a beautiful punctuated equilibrium of increasing. A

You did not use any of those words correctly.

Bbarb with 3 bs ran to the with the ratr and got to the location and there was a big pit and the pit wqas big. Massive even. You know what else is massive. The trees. Theyre pretty massive. And in the pit was the sxcreams of a thousand souls. They were being boiled and shit. And also like being chased by rats. Very ferocious animals rats. And also pigs theyre ferocious. So theyre being chased and mr rat says” actually im mrs. rat.” ok sorry mrs. rat says “you gotta go in there and make sure the screamers die. You gotta kill em again.” what bbarb with 3 bs doesnt know is that this is evil miles edgeworth in his more ratty form because hes a bit of a rat and he wants souls. 

“Ok mrs. rat.” says bbarb with 3 bs because why not. She enjoys killing people occasionally.

She walks into thee pit and expertly dodges the flying pigs and many rats everywhere. She pulls out her machine gun that shes had this whole time and eats it becasue she realized it doent have any bullets and doesnt want to look stupid by putting it back os she just looks crazy because she a te a gun. 

Marjorie taylor greene, melania trump, and hilary clinton are here. “IM TOXIC YURI!!!” they all scream while running away from pigs and rats. Then marhorie taylor greene started beating her girlfriends because shes toxic. 

“Man its raining catss and dogs down here.” says hilary clinton. And then cats and dogs start raining from the sky and killing everyone. 

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY  THAT?!!!?!??!?!!!??!??” says marjorie taylor greene as she starts to beat hilary clinton for being evil and breathing in her prescence. 

“Heyyyyy. Dont kill her before i get to verbally berate her!” says melania trump toxic yurily. 

“Ew wait is that person transgender i  have to die now” says marjorie taylor greene because, as a transphobe she spontatnously combusts in the presence of a trans woman, ecept this time she didnt because i want bbarb with 3 bs to kill them all.

Bbarb with 3 bs flung herself at marjorie taylor greene and throat punched her 16 times exactly. Then she jumped up like anime style and used her super kcik to kick marjorie taylor greene in the face. Then she kicked her and her brains and blood and guts went everywhere and she died. All the pigs and rats immediately swarmed her to eat her flesh. 

“Hey! I wanted to do that!” says hilary clinton. “UwU OwO!!!!”

“Uhhhh too fucking bad.” sayas bbarb with 3 bs as she tackles melania trump and takes her ultra knife which is actually a sword and stabs her 37 times in the chest and then eats her hqands because the voices from the rats shes hallucinating told her to. Melanias body immediately decays and the corpses begin to gravitate towards one another and have super ultra mega sex. ‘

“Hey thats my thing!” says gabriel ultrakill “oh wait youre lesbians. Thats ok i love lesbians” says gabriel ultrakill morph magicing into lesbianlover3000 and then morphmagicing back into gabriel ultrakill and flying away.

“I… AM STEVE!!!” says stee minecraft as he has super ultra megasex with  garrett garrison on an elytra. “CHICKEN JOCKEY!!!!!!!!” and then they crash land because this time they died and they were become dead. BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The members of the hell circle gather around their corpses whic hare already in their ccoffins and lower their heads to have a moment of silence for garrett garrison and steve minecraft. Only for a second though because theey didnt like them that much. And then because as is tradition, they all started yuri and yaoi making out sloppy style. 

Mm mmm mmm. They all said as they consumed the flesh of the people around them. Thats how making out works. You eat them and eat their skin and flesh and cannibalize them. And then theyre dead. Thats how it works. 

Then suddenly steve and garrett emerged from the grave combined into one body so theyre always havign elytra mega sex. Wait maybe this is why that one guy bookmarked it saying “its all over my screen”. That would make sense i think.

“Whats up henry.” says garrett to someone named hank from detroit become human.

“I am connor te android sent by cyberlife.!” says connor the android sent by cyberlife.

“I am markus and this is disney channel!” says markus the leader of the revolution. 

“Im simon and im gay.!” says gay simon. 

“FUCKING QUEER FUCKING QUEER FUCKING DEPRESSED QUEER!!!!” they all scream at simon because theyre homophobic beut we dont wirte slurs inthis document. 

Simon cowars in fear and then says “ 🤓👆but wait… our hearts are compatible!!!!” and then took out his thirium pump and gave it too markus for nno reason because hes lowkey suicidal. 

Then connor the android sent by cyberlife shot himsellf in the stomach for a reason.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CMON ALICE WE GOTTA GET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING FREAKS!!!!” says kara. 

“Im actually an android not a human.” says alice. 

“I HATE YOU QALICE I HATE YOU WHY WOULDNT YOU BE A HUMAN YOURE TERRIBLE AND I GHATE YOU!!!!!!!!!” says kara. She hates alice and will now abandon her. 

“Im north.” says south “im billy badass and people dont reallty have a reason to hate me but they do because they hate women and are sexist.”

Then suddenly the us military comes through and kills everyone except bbarb with 3 bs and north/south because theyr billy badass and dodged the bombs.. 

“Hi. im bbarb with 3 bs.” says bbarb with 3 bs with the dirty bomb in her hand.

“Set off the dirty bomb markus. Mwah.” syas south and giver dead markus’s dead corpse a kiss because shes a lesbian. 

“Ok” says bbarb with 3 bs as she sets off the dirty bomb and kills everyone who was left except herself because she has the power of gd and anime on her side literally and just survived like that because shes better.

Then bbarb with 3 bs looks into the massive pit she created and she jumped in because it led to the next - circle of hell, but actually it didnt and now shes back in the -7th circle of hell again and she has to find the exit and thats whats going on right now. 

WOAH timetravle. Its right before what just happened and now barb with 3 bs has to fight herself to win the battle and win and get to the next - layer of hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Whats up bbabr with 3 bs.” says bbabr with 3 bs but it isnt a questions because she knows.

“I will kill you!” says bbabr ith 3 bs. 

And then they battle. BAM POW CRASH SLPASH SMORSH PLANG BLOOPLE SPLINGUS!!!!!! 

Bbarb with 3 bs hit bbarb with 3 bs and punched her and kicked her because theyre both evil geniuses, but then they also know all of their moves so they know whta theyre gonna do and theyre thinking. And then BAM bbarb with 3 bs did a new move she pulled out her silly string and shot bbabr with 3 bs with silly string!

“Woah.” says bbarb with 3 bs.

Then babrb with 3 bs took out her mega blac khole and shot it at bbarb with 3 bs and is ognna win but then bbarb with 3 bs used the uno reverse because everyone know that its uno reversing. And then bbarb with 3 bs got the black hole reversed on her and she went iinto the black hole. SHWOOOOOOOOP. 

“Sk sk skibidi.” syas skibidi toilet skibidily.

The bbarb with 3 bs both decided un talkingly to stop fighting and kill skibidi toilet instead because thats far more important.  

The skibidi toilet army was there suddenly and bbarb with 3 bs and bbarb with 3 bs had to battle them all by themselves. Oh no. not  aproblem for sigma alpha bbarb with 3 bs. I hate writing this stupid brainrot lets continue. 

“WE bought the AMONG US potion off the dark web. And SUPPOSEDLY when you drink this AMONG US potion AT… 3AM, you will turn into the imposter… FROM among us,” a youtuber says out of nowhere into the 4th wall looking at the camera in shock while it held a bottle full of sticky liquid. “glue.”

“Ski-skibidi!! Skibidi!!! SKIBID!I SKIB SKIB SKIB SKIBIT!!!!” one of the skibidi toilets says miserablity and anger.

Thankfully, a translater from the 1800s comes out of the darkness and translates that the skibidi toilet is saying that “why tf is there a kiddy diddler in this place!!! Kill the 3AM youtuber!!!!”

A mob of zombie brainrotted skibidi toilets pop out of the ground by biting their way up from the soil. They look as though that they have deadly rabies to anyone that bites. Like a rabid animal. So not only will the victim of it’s brainrot bite make them a zombie, but it will transport them rabies as well with brainrot and all 70 episodes od skibidi toilet into their brain. Truly a fate worse than death.

“Skibidi!!! SKBIDIDIDIDIDI!!!!!” the skibidi toilet smeamt. The translater signs that this means “SKIBIDI ATTACK!!!!!1231!!!” yes they signed the 1231 as well.

Abruptly, a skibidi toilet flings itself into the air, just high enough to look the 2nd barb with 3 bs straight in the eyes. As they meet face to face, the skibidi toilet opens its mouth so fast at the speed of sound and light. Soon enough, the skibidi toilet has its brainrotted moiseteized jaws upon the neck of the barb with 3 bs.

IT she her they screamt in horror as the skibidi toilet made its brutal assault onto her poor skin particles. The germs and slobber of the zombie toilet make its way through the unfortunate bloodstream. Soon, it will get to the brain.

“I… I’m DYING!!!!! HELP AAAaa-” barb with 3 bs will say. But its no use. The desese has gotton to the brain of the victim The other barb with 3 bs is watching with facincation and having a sense of  ‘what the fuck is going on anymore this doesnt make any sense and is just a random string of words being put into one sentence with so many damn runon sentences and spelling errors’ syndrome.

The infected barb with 3 bs scrambles onto the floor, looking for an item suddenly.

“I NEED SKIBIDI TOILET EPISODES!!!!! I WANT MY IPAD!!!!!!!!!” the infected barb with 3 bs throws a tantrum like a 3 year old. “I WANT COCOMELON!!!!!! GIVE ME IPAAD!!!!!!!!!! WAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHH!H!!H!H!H!H!H!HH!!H!!!!!!!!!”

Now that the brainrot has gotten to the brain, barb with 3 bs is now at the mental age of a gen alpha who needs their ipad constantly due to poor parenting. This will continue to go on for as long as the infected does not get ipad and akibidi toilet.

The skbidi toilets finally surround the 3AM youtuber with slobbering, rabie filled mouths. Their heads look out of the toilets with piercing big orbs of fierce violence.

“ALright GUYS! I am surrounded with Skibidi toilets at 3AM!!! LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE IF YOU WANT ME TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY!!!” the youtuber says into the camera.

The skibides take over, taking the 3AM youtuber for the first actual dangerous situation that isn’t annoying the poor workers at a fast food restuarant or retail job.

“NOOO!!! IT WAS JUSt a PRANK DUDE…….” the youtuber says now laying the pit of skibidi toilets as he gets bitten and infected with the brainrot zombie disease dying in pain.

Then bbarb with 3 bs is all alone against the whole skibidi toilet army. She pulls out her minigun and starts blasting, uncaring of the uncaring world around her or who she will shoot. 

INTERMISSION!!!!

Also guys heres my english assignment:

Something people use everyday is an oven or stove. An oven is a kitchen appliance that can be used to bake food. A stove is the part of the oven on top of it that can use an open flame or other heat source to cook food. These are often combined and they work by applying heat directly or indirectly to food to make it hotter and produce a chemical reaction inside of it. This chemical reaction is especially prevalent in baking, in which a person puts a, usually liquid, batter into the oven and, after a chemical reaction is undergone, a solid is taken out. This helps in peoples day to day lives because most food is not healthy or inedible if it is not cooked or baked. The oven and stove help to make sure this food is safe to eat.

They gave me an 87/100. Luckily it isnt really graded and were just testing a program. I disagree with the program because its supposed to auto grade assignments and it seems like its trying to replace teachers or something. Especially english teachers past like middle school. Once youve learned the structure and grammar rules of the english language most of the grades are about writing essays and such. If people start using this program instead of a real person to grade essays, you may get instant results, but the more advanced you get in your studies, the less english teachers do outside of grading and such. Especially if the class is largely writing based. This could be an attempt to replace teachers in those sorts of professions, but it could also be used as a tool. I understand that it is trying to become a tool, but in an attempt to save money, many people might try to use this system for grading instead of a real teacher and thats what im afraid of. It isnt generativ ai, but it is definitely ai that could steal someones jobs and i dont think its a good program in its current state especially. It is also far too picky about things. It grades too harshly. It tries to tell you to write like youre trying to fill a word count, even if what was written gets your point across perfectly fine. This is demonstrated when it tells me thing like, “Sentence (1.2) is clear but lacks variety and sophistication in word choice. Instead of 'An oven is a kitchen appliance that can be used to bake food,' the student could write, 'An oven is a versatile kitchen appliance that allows people to bake a wide variety of dishes, from cakes to casseroles.'” A real teacher would not do that. This is a standard that would be applied to say a college student, but not a high school student. It doesnt seem to care what grade level your student is at. It is unhelpful and does not give criticism that a real teacher would give. Overall i believe this should not be used in school. 

“Focus: 20 / 20

Bravo! The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic of ovens and stoves, consistently addressing the writing task without deviation. This strong alignment with the rubric's criteria for focus is commendable.

Content: 18 / 20

Great effort! The essay provides adequate details about the function and importance of ovens and stoves, but could benefit from more vivid and specific examples to fully meet the rubric's expectations for content development.

Organization: 17 / 20

Well done on structuring your ideas logically! However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance clarity and flow, as suggested by the rubric. Consider adding transitional phrases to improve coherence.

Style: 16 / 20

Nice work! While the essay is clear, it would shine even more with varied sentence structures and more engaging word choices, as the rubric suggests. Experimenting with more dynamic language could elevate your writing style.

Conventions: 16 / 20

You're on the right track! There are a few grammatical and punctuation errors that need attention, as noted in the rubric. Careful proofreading and revision will help polish your writing to meet the conventions criteria.” - the fuckass ai

I had ONE grammar error and it docked 4 points. 

Conventions

In sentence (1.6), 'peoples' should be corrected to 'people's' to indicate possession. This grammatical error detracts from the overall quality of the writing.

This was the only thing in conventions. I actually really hate this program. Lets get back to our regularly scheduled content. Quality of the writing my ass.

Anyways. So. bbarb with 3 bs is shooting commies (skbidi toilets.) she was blasting them and killing them alot so she could skedaddle (skidaddle. Skidity? Sibidi?!?!!?!?!??! SKIBIDI TOILET?!?!!?!?!?!?!) on out of there quickly. But accidenlty :O she shott other bbarb with 3 bs!!!oh no!!! Was that the one from after the dirty bombs and detroit become human or not? I guess well never know.

And then all the skibidi toilets were dead because im just not brainrotted enough to write this arc. :( 😔

Bbarb with 3 bs looked at the desecration around her and all the decapitated heads of deceased skibbidi toilets. She lifted her eyes directly into the camera with the dead stare from her bludging blue orrbs and jumped into the pit infront of her. This time it actually did lead to the next - layer of hell. 

INTERMISSION

Elon Musk felt a dangerous smirk growing on his face as he types the text on the tweet.

The last few months have been the hardest he's ever dealt with. He knows that he might be dramatic, but he can't help it. His emotions are taking over his mind like a snake snapping at it over and over.

Trump still looms in his mind. All of the past memories they've shared, all of the fond memories mean nothing to him. He had done so much for Trump, yet he can't help but feel betrayed. In spite of him being the one to dump him, he still feels the grief over losing him.

As his shaking finger hovers over the post button, rage and malice come flooding in. The rage he feels is undeniable, a true, unfiltered, anger for the man that used to hold him so close.

His finger finally taps down on the button, his finger still lingering with a sense of pride and excitement to see the public response to his tweets.

He sits back on his seat, waiting for the replies and tiktoks to publicize how their breakup is going.

FLASHBACK… 

Elongated musk woke up in a cold sweat. He had never felt the cold, rich urges to hold a gun in his life, and now he must consult his alpha to get rid of these urges.

He rolls over in bet, trying to silently wake Donald Lump from his slumber without waking Joe Bipen as well. He did not want to cause a fuss. After all, it's rude to disrupt other omegas.

He gently shakes Donald Lump's muscular shoulder, feeling the muscle and veins under his fingers.

"Donny.. Donny wake u-up..." he whispered, yet, Donald Lump would not wake.

So, he shook him once more, trying to get his master awake once again.

Finally, Lump finally eases awake.

"What... what is it..? Do you want more cybertrucks??" Lump mumbled sleepily.

Elongated Musk shakes his head, even if they offer may tempt him. There's more important matters.

"No, not now, Donny. Its... time..." he mutters.

"You.... you're giving birth??!" Joe Bipen exclaims from the other side of the bed.

"Y-yes..." omega Musk mutters under his breath. "And it's an... ak47..." he adds softly.

Alpha Donald Lump quickly sits up from their dictator sized bed.

"Calm down omegas!! This is a common process but we must stay calm," Lump reassures to the fragile omegas.

"B-but..!-" Elongated Musk tries, but Lump bushes him with a finger to his lips.

"Shhh omega... it won't hurt, hopefully. We'll get Kim Jong Un for you," alpha Lump promises.

Elongated musk felt apprehensive in the moment, but he ultimately trusted his alphas words. With the help of his alpha's side bitch, Kim Jong Un, and second to first side bitch, Bipen, he could do it.

"Okay... alpha......" he said with a fleeting breath.

Donny lump helped Mr. Musky boy up from their shared dictator bed as his pregnant belly jiggled. He alphaly helped elongated muskrat towards their personal limousine with a personal chauffeur that never sleeps. “Jd Vance take us to the alpha town hospital.” says donny boy.

Jd Vance sped off like a rocket ignoring all traffic laws and not caring about the uncaring world around him. Mr. Musky boy held his polycules hands unknowingly about donnys cheater mentality. He has no conceivable clue that for 9 months on the dot lumpy has been cheating on him with his side bitch, jd Vance, their personal chauffeur. 

Sleepy joe bipen put his hands on elongated musk pregnant belly and looked in through his skin at the baby gun with his super ultra ultrakill gabriel ultrakill vision at the baby. “Wow Mr musky boy…” he said sleepily before revealing his own Uber pregnancy belly that jiggled. 

“Jeoy bipen!!! I had no idea…” says mr musky boy ominously. He is plotting wvil ideas to steal the baby. 

“How fare you… i refuse to take care of 2 children especially if one is a … wokie liberal…” says donny lump. He hates those fucking libs. Thats why he loves sleepy joe. They have an enemies to lovers relationship and they mutually abuse eachother so it's ok.

Jd Vance looked back at his lover through the rear veiw mirror and in his distraction crashed and created a 20 car pile up. Their massive horse cock limousine was immovable. Donald lump got into the passenger seat and started beating jd Vance for his stupidity. “IM SORRY ALPHA PLEASE I DIDNT MEAN TO ALPHA!!!!!” Says jd Vance giving away their affair on the spot. 

Donny stopped hitting him long enough to look at his betrayed polycule and see their betrayed faces. They were betrayed and the betrayal on their faces was apparent.

“Youve been fucking another man behind our backs?” Says joe bipen “you said you only had eyes for us!!!!! And also your side peice, Kim Jong un!!!!” Says joe bipen, his newly pregnant belly trembling with anger and betrayal.

“You said the only person you were cheating on was your wife who is also cheating on you with other women!!!” Said elongated musky boy through trembling tears. His pregnancy stomach cried as well with an ak47 inside. 

Joe bipen ushered his new sole affair partner out of the car and led him with his ultrakill gabriel ultrakill powers to the hospital where Kim Jong Un and vladimir putin were waiting for them. Donny looked up at them longingly while beating his beta cuck lover, jd vance.

Upon arriving at the hospital, putin greeted the sobbing couple with open arms as the baby ak 47 was born with mutations. And also ease. That shit was autocorrects fault but whatever honestly. Kim jon Un used his super duper sk8ll to strategically grab the baby and catch it before it reached the floor. “Here's your baby.” Says Kim jon un not realizing they are crying because hes busy looking at putins ass. 

“Thabk you kin jon un” says Mr. Musky boy as he hands the baby to his lover and runs to the bathroom to write a tweet and order a cybertruck to be made for his new son daughter, a742n062v6dc9ybeib25. 

END FLASHBACK

This is leading up to the next negative layer of hell… 😈😈😈 

Mean. with Chicken Noodle Soup & Tide Detergent & Timm with 2 ms & Sir Isxac Newton & Basil from OMORI in the zombie apocalypse

“I sir isxac newton” says sir isxac newton like it fucking alcoholics anonymous. Why do we (“we” you’re the one who always starts things this way) allways start something off with someone introducing themselves like alcoholics anonymous. 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” says the zombies, these ones scream.

“Daddy isxac newton!!!!!!”  says femboylover3000 and timm with 2 ms in unison. 

Chicken noodle soup chan starts blasting because its been waiting for the zombie apocalypse for about 38523965672633 years. It REALLY wants to shoot zombies and choke the chickens. There are many chickens runnign around and they need choked. Tide detergent gets right to  it and starts choking the chicken.

“Yo parental figures please focus we need to dethrone y/n” says timm with 2 ms

“Nah. theyre doing well. Tey almost killed you didnt they?” syas chicken noodle soup chan to the gacha life hated child (timm with 2 ms). 

“Yes……” the gacha life hated child says (100% not adopted).

“You remind me of y/n” tim with 2 ms points out, but is quickly interrupted by the zombies continuing to attack them. Bros talking to himself. Hees crazy chat. We gotta put him in an asylum. We gotta kill him. We gotta give him the electric chair.

“SHUT UP YOU FUCKINGS SHIT WE COUDL FUCKING DIE fTO THESE FUCKING ZOMBIEs YOU FUCKING LOW LIFE FUCKING CHILDING!!! FUCK!!!!!!” tide deghgerant will say.

“B-but…. Tide deterget chan… you shouldn’t screamingly yell kindly at timm with 2 ms. We're not allowed we lost custody…” says chicken noodle soup chan plottingly. Its time to start the arc of getting custody back…

“We gotta get custody back so I can scream at them legally!” Says tide detergent chan senpai. 

Yay! A new arc that we can’t start right now because 1 of the children they need to get custody of is in hell, 1 is currently a dictator over most of the East Coast, and there is a zombie apocalypse that Tide Detergent Chan’s Divorce lawyer and/ or trial judge caused the aforementioned zombie apocalypse. 

“  

Aren't you tired of going through the motions?

Is the daily grind meant to dull the mind?

I sense a window somewhere closing

Somewhere in the world that I just have to find

The days blur together

I watch the ceiling buckle

The walls are closing in

There's a black hole in the living room floor

I keep trying to ignore

But it's growing

If love is just a chemical reaction

Is there a pill to take?

Something to quell this ache?

Is this the real thing or a distraction?

Is it worth the risk?

My life would detonate

The weeks blur together

I watch the ceiling buckle

The walls are closing in

There's a black hole in the living room floor

I keep trying to ignore

But it's growing

I'm on my way to your house, I can't wait anymore

I'm pulling in the driveway

I'm standing on your porch

My knuckles hesitate an inch away from the door

What happens when it opens?

Even in my fantasy, I can't commit to believing

That I'll get what I want

I'm afraid of what I want

Even in my fantasy, I keep the car running

In case I need to take off

The months blur together

I watch the ceiling buckle

I wonder when it's caving in

There's a black hole in the living room floor

I keep standing on the edge and looking in

And on the other side is another life

A version of me with a spark in her eyes that I don't have

And now she's laughing

And it's killing me that I cannot see what's making her laugh

From where I'm standing

And I have to know, so I'm going in

I'm going in

Let's try this again

I'm on my way to your house, guided by the stars

I'm pulling in the driveway

I'm turning off the car

I'm running to your porch

I'm sprinting up the stairs

The door swings open and you're standing there

You're beaming down at me

You're reaching out for me

You pull me in your arms and I feel your heart pounding

I take a step back to catch my breath

And we look at each other and double over and laugh

And laugh

And laugh

”

“Shut the fuck Timm with 2 ms,”says Chicken Noodle Soup, “I can’t wait till we get custody back, so we can legally yell at you ”

“I thought that, that was lovely Timm with 2 ms,”says Sir Isxac Newton being apart of one of the only somewhat healthy relationships in the document I think

“It's teatime ‘innit,”says Basil from OMORI as it disembowels a zombie that Chicken Noodle Soup shot.

“Ewwwwwwww,” exclaimed Tide Detergent exclaimedly, “Control your British ‘person’ Timm with 2 ms you’re gonna be sooooo grounded when we get custody backs”

WAIT PLOT IDEA FOR THE ZOMBIE ARC THE TIDE DETERGENT & CO GO TO THE PORTAL TO HELL WHICH WAS MENTIONED/CAUSED THE ZOMBIE VIRUS AND MEET UP WITH BARBB WITH 3 BS AND THEN THEY ALL GO OVERTHROW Y/N!!!!!!

YEEEEEEEESSSSSS THATS AMAZING

And then suddenyl the zombie chrages at the gang and they look at the zombie feircely and the zombie imediately gets on its knees and begs like a dog because it recognizes a dominant alpha when it sees one. And they keep looking and they see that the zombie is ackshully… EVIL PHEONIX WRONG?!?!!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?! REMEMBER THAT?!?!?!?!!?! Remember when he DIED in chatper soemthing kr other?!?!!?!?? YAAAAAAAAAAY RECURRING CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!

“Hello alpha.” Says evil pheonix wrong. Hes evil because he tried to do somwthing i actually dont remember. I think he and Evil Miles EdgeworthScissorHands  brought Barbb with 3 bs to hell from the pentagon then something happened and he might have died  idk it was in the 9/11 part 2 chapter a lot of stuff happened there.

Tide detergent chan and company look at evil phoenix wrights disembowled massive pregnant belly but theres no fetus because he got pregnant theough immaculate conception and thus there is no baby because the baby was rhe second coming of christ but then evil miles edgeworht ate her because the second coming of jesus h crist will be a she they they them he she her transsexual transgender leftist libertarian centrist anarcho-monarchist commie accelarationist. 

“Damn thats crazy.” Says tide detergent chan because it just assimilated all that information from being an omnipotent god. 

Chicken noodle soup chan pulls out its massive assault rifle machine gun and puts a singular massive hole in pheonix wrong with 1 massive bullet. 

“Well actually i have plot relevance right now so you cant kill me” says pheonix wrong wright correct incorrect homosexual. “In the -8th layer of hell bbarb with 3 bs will soon fight a god at the meetup of the many gods. I bet you didnt know that there are myltiple gods hahahahahah bet you didnt know that alpha!!!!!!!” Says pheonix wrong submissively.

“We did know that actially dimbass” says chicken noodle soup chan even though it didnt really know that because it wants to be better than pheonix wrong who is evil. We have to state every intention and do the classic storytelling technique tell not show instead of writing well. I dont feel like doing this well actually i think.

“Ok well uh.” Says evil pheonix wrong “that really ruined my reveal. Uh ho to the portal to hell or something i guess. Im helping you because my ex husband killed and ate me and my immaculated concepted fetus who was gonna be the second coming of christ but fo4 wvil this time except maybe it was actually gonna be good and have a characyer arc where like were evil and we do evil things but our child turns out to be a good person after realizing that following in our footsteps in bad theough the power of friendship and many hardships.” Says evil pheonix wrong as the baby immaculately appears. 

“Im yhe baby. You nust remember me from chapter like i thin kfucking 3 (the 9/11 baby :O) maybe i dont remember.” Says the baby. “Fun fact i exist because real life f4iend number 9q6473 (because i have that many friends) we were at a party together for the band(it will surprise no one that your in band you band kid) and this guy said that his dad died in 911 and she was like holy shit thats crazy and he was like yup i was in the plane too. And my dad threw me out and i was caught by superman and transported through time to 200993727292 which is a year to be delivered to my mom as a baby and grow up at the same timebas all of your even though im actually born on the plane in 911 and saved by super man. And my friend genuinely belevied him until he said superman even though theres no way he could even be alive today if his dad had died before he was conceived.” Says the baby 

“Ok

“Also im thr second coming of christ now because i actually genuinelu hate that person who told that story originally because hes a racist fuck and another real life friend 297473827 wanted this character back so im going to remove the character further from the person it was based off of.” Says the baby who is me. Also you the reader are the baby and this will bow be told in first person. 

“No one asked.” Says timm with 2 ms. How rude what a rude little btich. Lets kill him whaaaaaaaat who said that. 

Upon hearing such a t4agic backstory from evil pheonix wrong, silver the rival from pokemon gold silver crystal and heartgold soulsilver appeared. “Im silver and this is my draw my life. (Tune in next time for his draw my life. Might make a draw my life chapter actually i just have the best ideas.)” Says silver 

“Hey. Im team rocket.” Says Giovanni.

“OH MY GOD FUCK OFF DAD.” Which is reasonable because silver said it and hes my favorite character right now. Also he said that because giovani abandoed him because hes a little bitch boy and he couldbt take being beat by an 11 year old. (Red) i actually find yhe interconnectedness of red and blue, and gold silver crystal to be incredibly interesting and cool. It makes the world feel more fun and real. I likw hiw in the postgane kf gold silver crystal you get to go play almost an entirely seperate gane in kanto. I highly recommend pirating pokemon gold silver or crystal or heartgild or soulsilver. I find that the rivals in the older poekmon games were vetter because wspecially with solver you hate them just enough to want to keep being better than then and it gives you a motivation ti strategize and it makes the game fun while also making the characters interesting and well rounded. You hate the characters enough to make it fun but their backstories are interesting and it makes what would otherwise be an extrememly unlikeable character into a fan favorite.

Im autistic guys can you tell

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT61yo1xB/  

“I love exploitation!” Says giovani to his gooners, jesse and james who are also team rocket.

“ im team rocket but also like dont abandon your kid for 3 years next time how about.” Says jesse twam rocket. 

And then they blast off into space because they really just cant stop doing that. Its like their favorite thing frfr. And then silver runs off to steal a totodile at gunpoint from some researchers. 

“Yaaaaaaaaay i love when people rob other people at gunpoint!!!” Says Giovanni even though i lowkey hate him. But its ok because chicken noodle soup chan and tide detergwnt chan start a club for nwglectful parents to be even more neglectful. 

“I love ignoring and neglecting my children but i guess i have to go tk hell to help bbarb with 3 bs because shes one of my favorites which isnt really a high bar because just look at the other ones.” Says tide detergent chan looking in disgust at timm with 2 ms's blue hair and pronouns

Mean. with y/n because I think its been a couple chapters since we checked in on you

“I met a traveller from an antique land,

Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;

Look upon my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

You recite like you’re Walter White but without the meth lab, confirmed gender, and lung cancer among other things.

“Wow that was beautiful y/n,” your mother father Billy the Cell says (you know its just saying that to be “nice” you know it doesn’t truly care. The only reason it’s still in your utopia dystopia kingdom paradise dictatorship is because you allowed Red 40,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to be in charge of the Department of “Justice” and the only reason you made * that* was so your loyal subjects would stop rebelling )

“UGH thanks mother father,”you say like a moody teenager. For once you're grateful with how tedious ruling a country is because you have ANOTHER GODDAMN MEETING with some probably not important people in a few minutes. You think your secretary bitchboy said that they were the rulers of -hell. You couldn’t care less . You’re just grateful your mother father Billy the Cell will leave you alone for the next several hours. Alas you adjust your  eyepatch (and curse  horrible fates upon Basil from OMORI, but that's kinda hard because there’s not a much worse fate than being British) and head to the meeting planning to completely ignore everything said during it.

Mean. on the life of pi arc.

Theres the cat. And it says “im actually in the thunderclaws thats my clan. Also im the best and coolest cat in the clan and i have heterophobia in my eyes and all the other cats are jealous of me fun fact.” says tigerstar who has 2 same colored eyes (WOw you started a new section without someone announcing their name. Great character development 10/10. Dang that sounds kinda mean, sorry :(  ).

Pile of papers kun is gonna fucking kill itself if it has to sit in a boat with this bitch for even a minute longer but it wont say anything because pile of papers kun has murder in its eyes so it doesnt need to and also itss relateable. I wonder what this story will say about human nature.

Suddenly tigerstar begins growling and stalking pile of papers kun and then he she they pounces on the prey who was actually not pile of papers kun because we cant go having our newest main character dying this early. And tigerstar says “i actually caught this fish with my mind because im the main character and im just that intimidating that the whale,cbecause its actually a whale because im awesome, just jumped into my paws without hesitation. And also i didnt have to do any work to get this power i just have it because im so sugoi like that!! UwU” says tiger star. The “whale” was actually a bluegill and the “mind powers” were actually just tiger star fishing for 17 hours and then struggling for at LEAST 1 hour to get the BLUEGILL out of the water because he she they is weak as fuck. Anyways i think this chapter is done.

Chapter Text

Back in hell the -8th circle with bbarb with 3 bs.

Ackshully lets take a quick intermission.

As elon musk and joe biden cared for their precious little ak 47 they began to resent eachother because they realized they never actually loved eachother and they were only rogether for donny boy but now donny boy theyve left him… and their relationship is crumbling. Mr musky boy got in his car after work and drove over to his newest affair partners house. He had been writing secret sext emails to him for the whole 9 months since the milisecond elon tsundere and sleepy joe stepped foot in their sprawling 0275747282653644 acre home which doesnt even include the back yard. After many long months of just jerking off to his lovers beautiful words on the computer and gettung “bricked up” ass the kids say to his new affaur partners videos of him twerking, hes finally going to see him and hopefully be the alpha instead of the beta cuck. Dont worry gang i dont write graphic sex scenes so this wont be tooooooo crazy.

Mr tusky boy pulled into the driveway and immediately teleported into his lovers house because, as an alpha, he doesnt need to knock. “Oooooooh gregoryyyyy!!!!~~~~” mr musky boy calls out.

“I im coming a alpha!!!~~~” calls his lover boy as elon watches greg abott step out from behind a wall in his best femboy fit. “I ive awaited your arival ever since your first sext from our business emails a alpha!!!” He cries as he collapses into elons arms. As he falls his micro skirt goes like shoobooshooboo shwfshwfshwf i dunno whats that word 😭😭😭. Hes wearing fishnet stockings with emo femboy chains in place of a belt. His suspenders stretched taut over his chest as he arched his back for elon. They were visible underneath his croptop. 

Elon licked his lips dramatically. (Ive been reading can you tell i think my descriptions are much better lowkey). He grabbed greg abbots choker collar and licked the top of his grey hair. Elon muskrat had put on his best suit fit completely with a chastity belt as a sex toy or something over top of his pants so its completely visible to everyone. 

Suddenly the door burst open behind them and shards from the now destroyed door exploded outwards and impaled thenselves in mr musky boy and abotts “beautiful” bodies (we enjoy bodyshaming here). 

Elon registered the face infront of him and a familiar orange face stood before him. “T trumpy poo!!!” Elon cried out “i its not what it l looks like!!!~~~”

“A alpha!!! I thought you broke up with donny!!!” Greggy boy cried as he clutched his masters arm and looked up into his face pleadingly. 

“Oh yea” elon bitch had said that out of instinct from all the times trumpy had caught him cheating over the years. “Heh… you must be here to beg me to come back because you can tell that jd vans just isnt as good as i was and youre putting him in the foster care for affaut partners who are just a lottle too bitchy… heh…” mr musky boy chuckled.

The words die in the air as donny trumpet cracks his whip and calls in his new affair partner… “no… i thought you died…” mr musky boy gasped. Out from behind his former lover steps, Jeffery epstein…

Donny boy raises his whip and whips elon musk for his disobedience for breaking up with him over twitter. At the startvof pride month too smh my head. “No no no little musky boy~~~” epstein said lying. “I did not die.” He lies he is dead and this is trumpy poos schizophrenic hallucination of him that he created in his greif.

“W well if youre not dead then what is this” says elon as he whipped out a pretty little letter from his ass as hes being whipped by trump. The whip clatters to the ground as trump falls on his hands and knees. His tears drop onto the ground as he reads the words on the paper.

“Its a letter you wrote to your affair partner to confess your love.” Elon says. The paper depicts 2 naked women signed with trumps name and a line saysing “happy birthday” and some kther text at the bottom. 

“I wish i hadnt erased the love confession mi amor” trump says momentarily forgetting he hates mexico.

GLASHBACK 

Trump sits at his desk as he drafts letter after letter for his crush, jefferys, birthday. He wants to confess his love in each one but he cant find the right words and each time he gets it wrong he throws the letter in the trahs. The trashcan has overflowed by this point and there are crumpled letters littering the floor. 

Trump geunts in frustration “why cant i get it eight?!?!!?!??!?!?!!?!?!???!?!!” He screams which alarms the maids and his harem outside the door. He evntually decides to leave out the love confession and tell him in person. He calls his servants te send off the letter and plans a trip to epsteins island the weekend.

Next weekend…

“M master trump!!!” Caled one of trumpys many harem members. 

“What could you possi ly want im kn my way to confess my love to jeffery epstwin.” Trump snapped.

“E erm… a alpha… e epstein d died!!!~~” the harem member stuttered in fear. 😨

Trump reeled backwards in horror and disbeleif. He pulled out his phone and checked it… upon realizing the news was true trumpy poo fell to the ground and wailed for his lover was dead. The harem member scurried away. Trumpy pounded the ground and pulled out his glock.

With shaking hands, he put the gun to his head. “I I DONT WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT HIM!!!!!” He screamed. He pulled the trigger. But nothing happened… he pulled it again and again to no avail… Trumpy wailed in frustration and threw his glock with all of his strength, which was none, and the gun clattered to the ground 3 inches away. “WHO UNLOADED MY GUNNY GUN?!!!?!??!?!?!!?!” Trump cried knowing that true americans always have their guns loaded and ready to use at all times. Usually out om a table where any small unsuspecting child could take it. 

Upon hearong the commotion, one of trumps many affair partners rounded the corner. “Honey bear pie poo… you know what you must do…” said kim jong menacingly. 

“Yes… i must find who really killed my shmoopums…” said trump. This was not what kim jong un mwant. He wanted trump to reload that gun and kill himself so kim could have little putin all to himself. 

I like that you didn’t notice we reached 200 PAGES ON THE DOCUMENT  WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOOO 200 PAGES YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE THIS IS SO WONDEROUS!!!!!!!

INTERLUDE NOT CANON MAYBE????? MAYBE ITS CANON I DUNNO IT DOESNT REALLY FIT

"Daddys home" trump declared as he walked through the threshold into his house.

"A alpha!!~~~" exclaimed joe biden as he nervously approached from the direction of the kitchen "i i thought you wouldnt be home for a couple of hours now!!!"

"Daddy got off work early just for you kitten~~~" trump said as he carressed his omegas chinand tilted it towards his face. This is untrue, the real reason trumpy poo got home early was because mr musky boy was "busy" with "work" with greg abbott. 

Trump heard a small squeal from the other room and pushed sleepy joe to the side to investigate. "Dont worry kitten, ill protect you." 

He walked into the kitchen and towards the cabinets where he was sure the sound had emitted from. 

"A alpha! Im sure its nothing! Y you dont need to do this!!! UwU~~~" joe biden squeaked, while pulling his alpha away from the cabinets. 

"Kitten..." trump growled "what could be in the cabinet that youre hiding from me..."

"I its nothing alpha i swear!!!" Biden pleaded.

Trump turned away from his skibid discord kitten and ripped the cabinetbdorrs off their hinges. He could hear biden cry out behind him as his secret was discovered, joey is sure he will be punished for this later. 

"Who is this kitten" trump screams as he looks at the person who was hiding in the cabinet. 

"A alpha i swear we didnt do anything!!!" Joe screams in terror.

The man stand up and faces off with trump. "O obama!!! Trumpy!!! You guys dont have to do this!!!" Biden pleads with his lovers as the square up to fight.

Trump throws the first punch and obama expertly dodges before pulling iut his shotgun and blasting his rivals head clean off. Biden screams in abject horror as he witnesses the scene.

"Dont worry my omega... youre safe now..." obama says as he takes joe bidens chin in his hands and kisses him passionately.

"Im gonna kms." Biden screams because he just watched his alpha die

"Dont kill yourslef kitten" obama says seductively. 

"Its ok kitten ill do it for you" says trimp as he ressurects from the dead and shoots biden in the head. His lifeless body crumbles to the floor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIDEN!!!!!!!!!" Obama screams. He whips around and pulls a hlock to trumps head. "HOW DARE YOU KILL MY OMEGA KITTEN!!!!!!!! ILL KILL YOU!!!!!!" He screams.

They begin to fight, but then somone breaks in theough the door in a... cybertruck??? 

"G GUYS STOP!!!! THIS ISNT Y YOU!!!!!" Elon musk squeals. 

"Im sorry you had to see this kitten..." trump says as he kisses mr musky boy passionately.

"YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME?!?!!?!??!?!!" Joe biden screams as he rises from the dead. He grabs the gun from his lovers hand and shoots them both in his rage. Joey falls the the floor and sobs in the growing pool of his former lovers and his affair partners blood. Obama sinks to his level and comforts him, until suddenly, without warning... Greg Abbott appears!!!!

"NOO!!!! MUSKY!!! MUSKY MY BABY!!!!" He screams, terrified "YOU KILLED HIM!!!!!! HE WAS PREGANNT!!!!! OUR BABY!!!!! YOU KILLED IT!!!!" 

Abott jumps on biden and clwas at his face until its unrecognizable. He then tirns to obama and they begin to brawl. The camera pans out to see 5 dead bodies all lying on the floor together. 

"K kitten..." obama gasps "i i hope we reunite... in heaven..." he says with his final breaths in the pool of everyones blood.

Mean. w/ Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent and the others

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here

Life is skittles and life is beer

I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring

I do, don't you? (- Course you do)

But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me

And makes every Sunday a treat for me

All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me

As we poison the pigeons in the park

When they see us coming

The birdies all try an' hide

But they still go for peanuts

When coated with cyanide

The sun's shining bright

Everything seems all right

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We've gained notoriety

And caused much anxiety

In the Audubon Society

With our games

They call it impiety

And lack of propriety

And quite a variety

Of unpleasant names

But it's not against any religion

To want to dispose of a pigeon

So if Sunday you're free

Why don't you come with me

And we'll poison the pigeons in the park

And maybe we'll do

In a squirrel or two

While we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We'll murder them all

Amid laughter and merriment

Except for the few

We take home to experiment

My pulse will be quickenin'

With each drop of strych'nine

We feed to a pigeon

It just takes a smidgin!

To poison a pigeon in the park

Tide Detergent Chan reflects on its time before the zombie apocalypse (which is most of its life since it is now day 3 of the zombie apocalypse), but more specifically the 3 weeks it spent with the love of its life Chicken Noodle Soup Chan Senpai before the apocalypse and after the sexism arc (because I'm pretty sure that was the last time we saw them) (but because I feel like that's too short a time for everything else that happened I am changing there break from three weeks to a month and a half). ANYWAYS  During that time it and Chicken Noodle Soup tried to do various couples things like a couples dance lesson which Tide Detergent used as an excuse to let Chicken Noodle Soup Chan beat it up, or walking in the park which they both enjoyed very much since they coated peanuts in cyanide and fed them to various woodland creatures. It was *hilarious*, trust. And it really misses those “peaceful” times (they definitely killed several people and got into many fights within that time (and started a minor war between 2 mob bosses)), but it’s also quite happy to see its beautiful handsome god goddess Chicken Noodle Soup so happy  (and it knows Chicken Noodle Soup Chan has always really wanted to be in a zombie apocalypse). 

But now it's the apocalypse and that would’ve been fiiiiiiinnneee, but its idiot children and its ex divorce lawyer and all  of his problems and the anti-anti-christ maybe I don’t really remember what the voice decided to do with the baby but that was my interpretation of what he was going for. (Erm ackshully it was the second coming of jesus christ)(same difference) And they all  have to make their way to the portal to hell to meet up with barbb with 3 bs (she astral projected to tide detergent and chicken noodle soup sometime during their break to let both of them know she’s in hell). AND THEN they all will have to go and overthrow y/n. Fuck thats a lot if Tide Detergent can get custody back of the kids  then it is going to enroll all of them in school for its peace of mind. I wonder how much of this document is actual story and how much is just song lyrics.

And now they were walking to the portal to hell and having to blindly trust Evil Phoenix Wrong. Which even though it did hire him as a divorce lawyer he really shouldn’t be trusted to do much else ,obviously, and he wasn’t even a good divorce lawyer he lost the case after all (completely ignoring the fact that I’m pretty sure Tide and Chicken left the court mid trial and jumped out the window).  

“I am sooo boooorrrrreeed,” Chicken Noodle Soup announces as it shoots its gun at  some bushes and ignores the very human scream that comes from them.

Basil from OMORI jumps into the bushes and gets in a fight with whatever could possibly be inside of them and when he emerges from the bushes he comes out with a still beating human heart in its  hands,  and he then drops the heart by Timm with 2 ms as a gift.

“Oh uh …. Thanks Basil”, Timm with 2 ms says very awkwardly.  Timm with 2 ms then throws the heart in the air and Chicken Noodle Soup shoots the heart with its gun as it screams " TRICKSHOT".

Mean. With bbarb with 3 bs

As she deacended into the final negative layer of hell she said “woah im descending into the final nega5ive layer of hell” or something like yhat. 

Wait i have to reread i forget what was ahappeneing

Bbarb wiyh 3 bs landed in a sick suprt hero pose on the floor of the -8th layer of hell and looked up into the camera like billy badass and walked past the camera as she clicked a bitton on her little device to make an explosion and then BOOM BOOM BANG CRASH and there was an explosion behind her. 

I gotta figure out where Mommy keeps the dynamite

I'll get some measuring tape, so I can time it right

I know it's dangerous, I know you're thinking I am a fool

But it's the only chance I'll ever get to look so cool

(Look so cool)

Hey, look at me

Casually walking away

Like action movie hero boy!

In slo-mo

Everything glowing and blowing to bits right behind me!

You see it all the time in theaters on the silver screen

Like when the good guy blows the bad guy's house to smithereens

I got a movie making camera and a dozen grenades

I'm looking tough, I got the stuff, I got the spiffy shades!

(Spiffy shades)

Hey, look at me

Casually walking away

Like action movie hero boy!

In slo-mo

Everything glowing and blowing to bits right behind me!

I am aware it's just a movie

I'm aware it's a cliche

I am aware I'm being stupid

I'm aware of that, but hey

This is just something I gotta do, yeah!

Hey, look at me

Casually stumbling down

Like action movie blooper reel!

In slo-mo

Everything glowing and blowing to bits, including me!

-Actokn movie hero boy

Bbarb with 3 bs looked out in front of her and saw standing in front of her was…

…

No…

It couldn't be…

It's…

… CHEEZIT GRANT?!!!?!??!??!!(genuinely wasn't expecting that)

… HER FATHER?!!?!?!??!??!!!?!?!? 

“Hello bbarb with 3 bs… come hither… follw daddy…” says Ulysses S Grant. 

Bbarb with 3 bs looked on in shock and lunged at cheezit grant before she was violently shoved back with her fathers shadow  mind powers. She backflipped to land like that was what she was trying to do that (thats my mindset as i write this) and begrudingly went quith daddy. 

Bro im in the front seat of a car with my dad as i write this. Ph he swerving. We swerving and we swerving!!! 

ARE YOU OK

Yea some guy wasnt gonna stop at a stop sign

Damn glad your ok :)))

:DDDDD

:DDDDDDDD the readers will be so happy to know you almost died

Theyll be so glad that i didnt and they get to keep reading our masterpiece

They’ll be ecstatic

“Bbarb with 3 bs…” says Cheezit grant 

I gotta contine this later bro i cant write this in front of my dad 

That’s 100% fair bye

Bye

Whats up gang im back at it again the voice here back to say that im playing pokemkn emerald right now and im 30 hours in and i dont really like my rival lowkey the story is fire though. I dont like my rival because she isnt mean to me she hasnt pulled a glock on me or held me at gunpoint yet so i dont like her. Shes too nice and i need to to beat my ass or something like atop being nice to me i eant to hate you. Also she doesnt show up wnough. Like silver (opium) was showing up everywhefr and punching me in the face at gunpojnt and then i beat his ass and it was so fun and then i was like wait thats a guy????? I thought that was a woman???? And i hated him and then he was chill and i was having fun but may isnt mean enough to me. When does she betray me????i liked when i beat silvers ass because he was a jerk and i hated him so it was fun to beat the shit out of him. Its less fun to beat up may because she isnt an asshole.

Anyways back to the story

Bbarb with 3 bs followed daddy for about 91747583929 steps (she counted) until they reached cheezit grants humbke abode in negative hell. Because hes evil and works for the government. Fun fact all politicians have homes in negative hell because thats where theyre all going anyways so why not set up your house early? Cheezit grant held open the door for his daughter, but bbarb with 3 bs shot him in thw stomach but he used his shadow the alpha mind powers to make the bullet phase theough his body. It richotcheted backwards and killed an innocent bystandder instead, but thats ok because the innocent bystander was actually Grok (the twitter ai)  and all ais are evil. I enjoy deadnaming twitter.

Bbarb with 3 bs realized there was no way out of this situation and begrudgingly entered the manor. It was a nice manor if you ignored the cheese goop covering every available surface. The high ceiling soared to roughly 20,000 feet above their heads and the entrance hall was roughly the size of an aircraft hangar. Bar with 3 bs found this odd because on the outside the house looked like nothing more than a blue telephone box. Her curiosity only grew as she continued to study the area. In the center of the room sat a large control consol which was placed upon a catwalk which branched out into different sectors of the house, all presumably just as large. 

“Oh yes…” cheezit grant began “this.. Is the tardis…” daddy boy declared proudly. He walked out infront of Bbarb with 3 bs and held his arms out to the sky as if hailing the sun god which is what he was doing because he believes in the false prophet. 

Then… suddenly… thee doctor appeared out of thin air and he she began screaming. The ear piercing sound was ear piercingly and bbarb with 3 bs’s ears were pierced. She put in some statement earrings. She collapsed to thee ground because of the ear piercing din and collapsed.

Bbarb with 3 bs awoke in a new strange room and…

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Cheezit grant loomed his big bulbous head above his daughter and said ominously… “wakey wakey sleepy head!!!!!”

Bbarb with 3 bs jolted upright like jolteon and screamed at her father “JOLTEON THUNDER!!!!!!!!!!” and her pokemon jolteon sent a thunderbolt flying into cheezit grants cheesous body. Sadly, the bolt phased straight through cheezit grant because of his shadow the galaxy the alpha mind powers and it didnt kill hium. I dont know why bbarb with 3 bs keeps trying this. 

“Hehehehehehehe well… you cant kill me because i still have plot relevance.” chezit grant said evilly as his slime dripped from the ceiling onto bbabr with 3 bs face. She i covered in cheeseous slop. “Enter.” ulysses s grant declared to no one at all but also everyone at once. At once the harem entered the room and began pouring cheese on the already cheeseous floor. Cheese.

Bbarb with 3 bs watched in horror as the cheese filled sacks surrounded her and began chanting their ancient ritual. This was the plan all along, bbarb with 3 bs realized as evil miles edgeworth entered the scene from the 20,000 foot tall ceiling in freedom units. She realized that evil miles edgeworth was working with her deadbeat dad to lead up to this moment. She watched in horror as the ritual commenced and evil miles edgeworth grabbed her father and… kissed him passionately… 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

“We have been secretly working together to sacrifice you to our cheesy cheeseous god, Cheesus Christ. We had to wear down your psyche through the trials of negative hell while we formed our army to hold back your reinforcements. The zombies are attacking your family as we speak and they will massacra your loved ones.” cheezit grant declared as he smashed faces with evil miles edgeworth. He moved on quickk from evil pheonix wrong (Tide Detergent Chan’s divorce lawyer).

Bbabr with 3 bs struggled in her binds to correct him that she actually dooes not love those freaks so they arent her loved ones, but she found that her mouth had been taped shut to prevent her from giving a witty comeback.

“You may have thought that this wasnt beuilding up to anything and shit was just happening, but it was actually all done with a clear purpose and it all went exactly according to plan.” evil miles edgeworth sscreamed because there was totally a plan and i had this planned from the beginning “Every monster you killed, I collected and sent up to murder your family. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” he cackled( You (reader) would have known this already if you watched the gatcha life “chapter”). 

The chant of the cult continued as they began to strip their clothes off and lather themselves in cheese. Thhey grabbed their cheesey goop and seasoned bbarb with 3 bs with the cheasoning. She began to float in her confines as the ritual prgressed and she continued to be sacrificed to their god. Panic took over and bbarb with 3 bs began to shine bright like a diamond with immense power. She called upon transfem georgia washington to lend her her strength and help her from these confines and bindings. 

Suddenly… the ceiling exploded and the chanting faltered. Cheese rained from the sky and the cultists(chultists if you will) beleived that their god had accepted their ssacrifice. They began rejoicing and drinking the melted cheese from the sky. But… it was actually not their god… it was… TRASFEM GEORGA WASHINGTON!!!!! ASCENDED TO GODHOOD!!!!!!!!!!11

“Take my power, my child!!!!!” she screamed and gave her power to bbarb with 3 bs in an ultimate blast of light. “This will be an ultimate showdown… of ultimate destiny…” she said as her body exploded into millions upon billions of miniscule peices and bbarb with 3 bs felt her power enter her body after Geroga washington, the president's ultimate sacrifice.

Bbarb with 3 bs muscled her way out of her bindings and beat the cultists faces into their skulls until her hands were bloody and the room was covered  more in blood than it had been covered in cheese. The cultists screams echoed through the halls of the tardis and they could be heard from the surface world. Tide detergent chan heard the screams and it knew… bbabr with 3 bs had won…

She turned towards her father and his lover and felt her immense rage for her dead beat dad. She walked over through the sky with her new powers that she got from georga washingtons sacrifice and pulled out a massive fuking machine gun. Bbarb with 3 bs shot her father relentlessly until she ran out of ammo, was given more through immaculate conception, and ran out several times over. Many will call it over kill… but actually… the bastard was still alive…

“P please… m mercy…” he sputtered through coughs of blood.

“Mercy? MERCY????” bbarb with 3 bs said, channeling Odysseus. Evil milles edgeworth  cowered in fear in the corner of the room away from the carnage. 

“For twenty years, I've suffered every punishment and pain

From the wrath of gods and monsters to the screams of comrades slain

I come back and find my palace desecrated, sacked like Troy

Worst of all, I hear you dare to touch my wife and hurt my boy

I have had enough

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with 3 bs

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with-

In the heat of battle, at the edge of the unknown

Somewhere in the shadows lurks an agile, deadly foe

We have the advantage, we've the numbers and the might

No

You don't understand it, this man plans for every fight

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with 3 bs

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with 3 bs

Where is she? Where is she?

Keep your head down, she's aimin' for the torches

Our weapons, they're missing

SHe's using the darkness to hide her approaches

We're empty handed, up against an archer

Our only chance is to strike her in the darkness

We know these halls, the odds can be tilted

You don't think I know my own palace? I built it

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with 3 bs

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with 3 bs

Old king, our leader is dead

You've destroyed the serpent's head

Now the rest of us are no longer a threat

Old king, forgive us instead

So that no more blood is shed

Let's have open arms instead

No

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with 3 bs

Barbb with 3 bs, Barbb with 3 bs

Damn, she's more cunning than I assumed

While we were busy plotting

SHe hid our weapons inside this room

I find it hard to believe that the sharpest of kings

Left her armory unlocked

So what?

Now that we have armed ourselves

Let's make the bastard rot

Behind you!

Throw down those weapons

And I ensure you'll be spared

After seeing what the king will do to us

We wouldn't dare

I don't wanna hurt you

But trust me, I've come prepared

Ha! Your very presence has doomed the king, young prince

We don't fight fair

Stop

Brothers, we got company and he's made a grave mistake

Left the weapons room unlocked, and now they're ours to take

Brothers, come and arm yourselves, there's a chance for us to win

We can still defeat the king if we all attack the prince

Where is she? Where is she?

Capture him, he's our greatest chance

Get off me, get off me

Fight 'til the prince can barely stand

Hold him down, hold him down

Make the king obey our command

Hold him down, hold him down

'Cause if he won't, I'll break the kid's hands

Got him

Me-mer

Mercy? Mercy?

My mercy has long since drowned

It died to bring me home

And as long as you're around

My family's fate is left unknown

You plotted to kill my son

You planned to rape my wife

All of you are going to die

Barbb with 3 bs

You've filled my heart with hate

All of you, who have done me wrong

This will be your fate

Barbb with 3 bs

Barbb with 3 bs” (odysseus, Jorge rivera herrans, epic(with slight edits by editor 2)). Bbarb with 3 bs said as she beat her fathers skull in. He cannot be killed because of plot relevance in the future, but he will be held back for many long chapters probably.

As bbarb with 3 bs finished massacreing the cult, she turned finally to evil miles edgeworth. He yelped in fear and scrambled out of her gaze. He ran out of the room, taking the souls of those murderred with him. for plot purposes, bbabr  with 3 bs will not be able to kill him. In the carnage, bbabr  with 3 bs collapsed to the ground and breathed heavily, letting out the breath she had held for the past seveeral weeksin negative hell. She hadbeen in constant danger, but now… finally… the exit is near… there is but one more obstacle… she had to completet to prophecy… she had to destroy the leaders of negative hell before the portal to the overworld would open back up… 

Barb with 3 bs flew to the meeting of hell gods to kill them all. She had met them all before… Lemon demon, the MHA foot gods, Nikacado avacado, the onceler, batman, the other ones… they would all be at their monthly meeting.Looking into thee meeting room, bbarb with 3 bs took in the decoration. It was a massive hole int the wall with thousands of beer cans spilling out. Bbarb with 3 bs entered stealthily and looked upon a massive courtroom.

“Bbabr with 3 bs… we have been expecting you…” lemon demon screamed from the judges stand. “Your trial must be finished. You are in criminal court for breaking and entering into the pentagon and like a bunch of other stuff.” the lemon demon declared as bbarb with 3 bs was forced into the defendants chair.

“Hey wheres my lawyer. I know my rights” she screamed at lemon demonm who was 30 feet tall.

“No. i dont actually care about the law i just hate you specifically so you have to defend yourself.” he said actually not caring about the uncaring world around him. Bbarb with 3 bs sighed. “Call your first witness.” 

At the stand, bbabr with 3 bs summoned an astral projection of her b b b b brother… timm with 2 ms. Bbarb with 3 bs eyes teared up as she remembered how transfem georgia washington taught her this trick during their training montage. “This is timm with 2 ms…” bbabr wiith 3 bs projected to the jury “he was with me when we fell into the pentagon.”

“ONE OF HER CONSPIRATORS!!!!!!” someone yelled “GET THEM!!!!!” 

“ORDER ORDER ORDERO RDER ORDER ORDER ORDER!!!!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” lemon demon yelped because he felt like it. No one moved.

I think this is a good spot to end the chapter

“Stfu.” bbarb with 3 bs said to lemon demon as she began to continue her questioning before untimately deciding to end tbis trial here and now… she used her newfound god like powers to blast a hole through lemon demons skull and go super saiyan. “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH” She screamed atop her lungs. Theyre in 6here now. 

The jury was in shock as the mha foot gods breifly stopped rubbing to stare at bbarb with 3 bs transformation. She was… even more emo now!!!!!!!! Her eyeliner was realy lining alot and her emo half shaved head was even more half shaved and a head!!!!!!!!!! 

Bbarb with 3 bs didmissed timm with 2 ms apparition and headed towards the jury. The mha foot gods began rubbing up on eachother faster at the sight. They emited many noises that displeased bbarb with 3 bs. Suddenly, through the force of their rubbing, the mga foot gods summkned… hatsune miku!!!!!!! Shes back!!!!!!! And also a lot of “slime’. Because they made their kiribakudekutodochakotogatsuminetaseroshinkamijirouothercharacters “slime”. 

“Whats good gang” hatsune miku said as she smoked a massive blunt in her thomas jefferson binder and sunglasses. 

“MIKU.” her parents (mha foot gods) all screamed in unison. “WE TOLD YOU TI STOP DOING DRUGS.” They said this as they continued to rub on eachither.

“Ok????? And????? I didnt listen?????” Miku replied replyingly. Bbarb with 3 bs watched the scene unfold and they reminded her of her own relationship with her famiky and she was enraged at the mere thought of ulyesses chezit grant and comically blasted the mha foot gods to oblivion. This also destroyed the entire jury in the process. 

Hatsune miku watched the ashes smolder and her blunt fell ou5 of her mouth. “Well shit.” She said “thats crazy”

Suddenly a call appeared on the projector that was here the whole time projecting “its not me its you” the projector projected “classic projections.” Everyone said

The call… it was from… someone…

“Waddyp gang i gotta meeting with yall or something get up here.” The caller said and then all of the murdered gods reformed into their former bodies and began to float towards the ceiling to get to their next meeting. 

“You have but delayed this trial vbarb with 3 bs… we will get you someday…” lemon demon said during his ascent. We might bring this trial back lowkey i dont wanna write a trial so we might acrually just noy we might tjough i totally plan this shit out.

Bbarb with 3 bs stared at the hole in the ceiling where all of the gods inculding miku floated into. We all float down here. She got over her shock and looked nehind the judges chair. This is obviously where everyone keeps their oortals. And there it is… the portal… bbarb with 3 bs is finally free… 

She walked through the portal and embraced the light on the other side… and she immediately saw 50,000 hingry zombies looking straight at her

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLIFFHANGER BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEEEEDS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Do you like how i continued the chapter? I think that was very kind - I do it was “good”

GUYS WERE OFFICIALLY AT 75 THOUSAND WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE!!!!!!!!! IVE READ REAL BOOKS WITH LESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gang also this is written in times new roman 12 to be as professional as possible because this is so professional. 214 pages!!!!!!!!! Just under 200 more before this document is virtually unusable!!!!!!!!! I need this document to set my computer on fire every time i open it before i will consider creating a different file.

Mean. with Tide detergent chan, chicken noodle soup chan, timm with 2 ms, sir isxac newton, and many zombies.

Basil began furiously growling in celebration of its earlier triumph over t

Gang my teacher walked by me. I finished my work dont look at my screen. Ok phew shes gone. She saw nothing gang

he creature in the bushes. The gang looked on at basil in disgust, but quickly got over it because they remembered that he is infact a feral wild animal, not a human because he is british. He began making british noises such as “would you care for some tea and crumpets!!” “would you like a cuppa?” “its chewsday innit?” and everyone ignored him because he is british.

“Listen not to the ramblings of the british man” tide detergent preached. Preach🙏🙏🙏!!!!!!! This is hwat they all think as they walk into the church. This is where the portals kooky vibes have drawn them all. They all know they will find the portal to hell in this very church. Obviously portals to hell are in churches as everyone knows. Also every zombie is Finnish by the way. Just a side note.

Timm with 2 ms began scouting thee church as the rest of the #gigglegang boarded the windows to keep the zombies out and also ate them. Chicken noodle soup chan senpai was doing the eating /mischevious face. COOKED. They would never eat a zombie raw. ATE. yum.

Timm with 2 ms scoured the back of the church and didnt see the portal…. Hmmmmmmmmm. Is what he tought. Timm with 2 ms rejoined the grouop as they feasted upon many beating human hearts. Basil must have caught them. Thats ok hes british he doesnt know better. 

“Yo timm with 2 ms come get a heart shits fire” tide detergent chan said as it devoured its 4th beating heart. They had slow roasted them over the fire so theyre extra tender. 

“Oh….. i think imm good… thanks…” timm with 2 ms said in distaste. He doesnt wanna eat a human heart what a little bitch. 

“Oh my god just eat the heart bro oh my god youre such a looooooooooooooserrrr.” the voice peer pressured. No one acknowledges the voice. How sad every cry for the voice because its being ignored everyone be sad now. Theeyre ignoring the voice kill them everyone . Oh wait guys i was doing an english project and dont worry i slipped in a couple sin.exe references. My teacher is going to see that i drew chicken noodle soup chan on my english assignment and referenced the quote “not caring about the uncaring world around him”(too gendered you bastard) wqhat grade do you think ill get? (YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME THIS)

As they were eating a foolish zombie made its way into the church and Basil from OMORI pounced on it as usual while chanting its usual British saying, but before Basil could fully maul the zombie Chicken Noodle Soup Chan Senpai pulled Basil off so it could take the zombie heart to eat. Because if Timm with 2 ms won’t at least try to train Basil then it will at least stop the British clone from DESTROYING ONE OF THE ONLY SOURCES OF FOOD(Even though neither Tide Detergent or Chicken Noodle Soup need to eat). However while Chicken Noodle soup was doing that the zombie started saying something.

“I…I… I am not getting paid enough for this shit,”said the zombie as it turned back into the worker person from the Willy Wonka Experience (you would know who we’re talking about if you watched the gatcha life video).

 "wTF,"everyone says simultaneously.

“Ooooohhhh that makes sense,”says Tide Detergent Chan before explaining exactly what happened, “I was wondering why these human hearts tasted kinda weird. Timm with 2 ms your British ‘person’ must be venomous, and that causes the zombies to turn back into people”

“Well that’s great for us,” says Phoenix Wrong, “Because we need a beating human heart to open the portal to hell here”

“That’s also great because now we can cure people and save the world,”says Timm with 2 ms thinking about the greater good like a pussy.

“Or we can just kill them all you idiot,” Chicken Noodle Soup rebuttals offering the much better option.

“I thought we told you to shut up or I shoot the baby,” Chicken Noodle Soup says as it reminds Phoenix Wrong of something that happened off screen.

Phoenix Wrong then pulls out a comically large knife and cuts out the heart of the Willy Wonka Experience workers body. They don’t say anything until the very end when they quickly say, “Fuck you, by the way your ex  is dating Ulysses S Grant now. Byyyeeeeee!”

Phoenix Wrong doesn’t respond as begins opening the portal to hell. And in a bright flash of light and sound it was opened, however the aforementioned bright flash and sound attracted all of the zombies to the groups exact locations.

Mean. on the life of pi arc.

“THUNDERFANG SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP OH MY GOD.” pile of papers kun said in its mind as it prayed once again for thinderfangs downfall. Its being a people pleaser and is therefore not saying anything aloud to thunderfang but thunderfang is pissing it the fuck off.

“Well actually im the hybrd demon prince princess and everyone in my kingdom loves me except for my parents because off my sad backstory.” thunderfang declared as they began to monolouge about their sad backstory “i was borrn at a very young age…” a pause. “And when i had… gotten… older… i realized… im a youtuber…” it declared.

Pile of papers kun looked at thunderfang inquisitively  in an inquisitive way because piles of paper can do that with the faces that they have. “Youtuber… it means that.. I like men and women… just like… dream… he is youtuber… just like me…” guys tell me you get this reference. Guys im gonna do something crazy.

And suddenly… at the mention of his name… dream appeared in midair… “heya kids im dream back at you again with another minecraft speedriun!!!!! Trust gang i didnt fake this one!!!!!” said dream as he looked at the minor on the boat a lot.

“Im a minor.” said pile of papers kun. Because it has an age.

“OH MY GOD DWEAM!!!!!!! DWEAMY POO!!!!!! IVE DREAMED ABOUT YOU DWEAM!!!!!!!!!!” said thunderfang as they fangirledboyed and their eyes turned to hearts and popped out of their skull. Their tongue elongated like musk and rolled out of their head and unfurled on the floor. BLOOP it rolled back up and SPLAT it rolled down again and wrapped around dreams leg.

“Oh well i only have eyes for gogy.” dream queerbaited as gogy fell from the sky as well and immediately began aggressively making out with dream.

“Hey wolf cat thing…” gogy said offensively “only IIIIII get to wrap my tongue around my dreamy poos leg.” georgewastaken said during the brief moment he wasnt eating dreams face. 

“I have 2 hands… b b b b baka…” dream said seductively. The 3 promptly formed a polycule for dreamy before dreamnotfound and georgewastaken both exploded in a massive burst of light. They will be back…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DWEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!” thunderfang screamed 2020ly. They clawed at the ground with their alpha ppaws and yowled into the night for their one true loves. Pile of papers kun looked at them like they were crazy because they were. “Anyways back to my story baka.” thunderfang said as it got over its grief getting over it very quickly andd in a quick manner. “When i told my parents that i am youtuber… they said… NO. YOU CANNOT BE YOUTUBER. NO SONDAUGHTER OF MINE WILL BE YOUTUBER. ESPECIALLY NOT MINECRAFT YOUTUBER. This was sad because… secretly… i was also minecraft… i was minecraft youtuber… that means that i like men and women and am not a boy or a girl… i am youtuber and minecraft… but i realized… maybe its ok because… ill always have my dweamy senpai…” thunderfang reminisced over dream again and pile of papers kun let them stare off into the distance, hoping they would forget about the story and never speak to it again. 

“Well… anyways…” thunderfang continued… “I fell back on my support system… dweam… he hid in my corner and i loved him carnally… but it was always forbidden love and unrequited love because… dweam was youtuber for gogy… d d d d d dweam… would never… love me!!!! B B B B BAKA!!! He would say when i asked him to marry me for the 19th time… i told him i am youtuber… and i realized as i told him… i am also… dweamsexual… i am minecraft youtuber dweamsexual…” said thunderfang as it traumadumped again. 

“Yea sure and im straight.” pile of papers kun said under its breath to make fun of thunderfang evilly because clearly they were listing sexualities that dont exist. But… thunderfang… heard…

“W w w w w what!!!!!!! B b b b baka!!!!!” they screamed “y y y y you cant be s s s s straight!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats homophobic!!!!!!!!!! Thats youtuberphobic!!!!!!!!! THATS MINECRAFTPHOBIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE DREAMPHOBIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” thunderfang screamed at the top of its lungs. They lunged at pile of papers kun but because they had never done it before they just faceplanted in the ground.

We need to put super straights in the document. 

Pile of papers kun cringed at the attempt and at thunderfangs loud ass voice which is annoying as hell. Anyways guiys i gotta leave you on a cliffhanger so youll see their epic battle next time (it wont be epic and thunderfang WILL lose.) see ya kittens!!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

Barbb with 3 bs emerges from the portal to the sight of 50,000 zombies attacking while the others there were holding the zombies off. Chicken Noodle soup Chan and Tide Detergent Chan were happily massacring the zombies with their sniper rifle flame thrower pistols, and Timms with 2 ms and Sir Isxac Newton were cowering behind Basil from OMORI (like pussys) as it mauled and bit at the zombies (when the zombies become humans again they are begrudgingly armed with their own sniper rifle flame thrower pistol courtesy of Chicken Noodle Soup Chan) while Phoenix Wrong used the Baby to ascend the zombies to heaven. 

“WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL,” Chicken Noodle Soup and Tide Detergent Chan  screamt DieHardreferencely (For the record Die Hard is a christmas movie and I won’t accept any other opinions on that matter (no it isnt)) at Barbb with 3 bs  as they threw her, her own flame thrower sniper rifle pistol. “Welcome To Nightvale,”whispered Cecil.

Barbb with 3 bs took the weapons and them in her pocket because she didn’t need them yet. She then used her new Georga Washington god powers and summoned an energy laser beam to blast through a horde of zombies that were about to kill Timm with 2 ms (if anyone’s killing Timm with 2 ms it's her).

Unfortunately  another horde of zombies rushed at Timm with 2 ms and Sir Isxac Newton from behind and everyone else was occupied killing other zombies.. Sir Isxac Newton knew that those zombies would undoubtedly kill Timm with 2 ms and that would be a very…bad thing because he does honestly love Timm with 2 ms even *if* the rest of his family should be studied in psych ward, so Sir Isxac Newton used his special ability *Gravity* with his special ability he was able to crush the offending zombies into a little cube. “Then Basil from OMORI ,seeing Sir Isxac Newton’s own determination to protect Timm with 2 ms, activated its own special ability *Garden Shears* and absolutely went to town on the zombies like you should’ve seen it, Basil from OMORI was completely covered in zombie blood and guts like, WoW!” Cecil narrates.  

“Long live the Queen!!!,” Basil from OMORI shouts victoriously

“Wow, Timm with 2 ms  your pet is kinda useful,” Tide Detergent compliments as it looks at the carnage Basil from OMORI created. “Maybe we will get it certified as your Service ‘British’ ‘Person’”, it added on.

“Long live the Queeeeeeeen!!!” Basil from OMORI shouts again because it is really happy.

After a few moments of silence with no new zombie rushing into the now very destroyed church Timm with 2 ms tentatively says, “Well…that was…fun.” While still cowering behind Basil from OMORI.

“Shut up bitchboy you didn’t do anything,” Barbb with 3 bs kindly points out.

“Weren’t we on the Titanic right before this,” says JFK (he was one of the zombies Basil from OMORI cured) to the rest of his polycule who were also hiding in a corner this whole time after Basil from OMORI cured them too.

“Sybau”,  Tide Detergent Chan says, “A lot has happened since then you undead freak”

Mean. With pile of papers kun and thunderfang

Thunder fang faceplanted in font of pile of papers kun and it shifted backwards to avoid being shoved as they rolled forward. Oh wait shit i completely forgot this characters name for the past few chapters. Their name was actually tigerstar the whole time and i completely pulled thunderfang out of my ass. Whoopsie daisies. Well its gonna stay as thunderfang now. Thunderfang came from the thunderclaws clan because i misremembered the life of pi arc after our extended absence over the summer. Anyways

“HOW DARE YOU BE A DISGUSTING STRAIGHTIE!!!!!!!! FIRST YOU DONT READ WARRIOR CATS AND NOW THIS>?!?!?!!?!?!?” the cat screamed. They began to growl and pace towards pile of papers kun threateningly. It shifted uncomfortably but didnt make any move to run because it does not perceive tunderfang as a threat. For obvious reasons. Pacing forward was hard to do because the 2 were stranded in a boat in the middle of the ocean. 

“Hey. so theres a massive storm coming right now and we will both die if we dont work together. It hasnt even been a day yet can we deal with this when we get back on solid land.” pile of papers kun reasoned.

At these words, thunderfang seemed to remember that they are aboard a ship and immediately got seasick because apparently the boats rocking was only fine until someone mentioned it or something. Thunderfang continued to pace towards pile of apeprs kun until… it… pulled out a massive riffle.

“Alright gangalang, you gotta take a step back alright. Im not straight, thats not real.” pile of papers kun said correctly, we hate straight people. It aimed the gun at thunderfang warningly and, being a little bitch, thunderfang cowered in fear with their ears pushed back. 

“W w w were ypou…. Making FUN of me?!?!!?!??!?!?!!” thunderfang screamed in abject horror horrificaly. “Y y y you stupid BAKA!!!!!!!” 

Pile of papers kun lowered its gun and sshook its nonextstent head. It doesnt want to cause more of a fight because its a people pleaser or something. Oh man i cant wait to start steel band on monday i love steel band the steel drums are the best instrument ever. “Thunderfang please we are stranded in the middle of the ocean with little to no food and rations and theres a massive storm headed directly this way. We cannot afford to argue right now.” pile of papers kun was playing the classic comedy trope of the straight man but obviuosly it isnt straight because straightiees arent real. Just like cissies arent real. Im looking at you timm with 2 ms. i cnat beleive we made a c c c c CISSIE character. 

“H h h how d d dare you… you freaking meanie!” thunderfang cried. They sobbed into thheyr paws because they had never faced any sort of rude comment before because they had actually just been spawned into existence the other day when this arc began. 

“Im sorry?” pile of papers kun said not really meaning it not really because it had been thinking that for a very long time because thunderfang was extremely annoying. Pile of papers kun sighed and began aking ppreparations for the storm so they wouldnt all die. Buut then, seeing that someone was preparing, the storm got way closer imemdiately actually so close that it was ontop of them both in a matter of seconds. DROP DROP DORP DORP DROP DORP BANG BANG BANG said the rain because it was raining and had a gun.,

Thunderfang jumped 20 feet into the air and ran under the seat in the middle of the boat for cover. Pile of papers kun was obviously waterproof paper so it just continued making preparations so they wouldnt die. Using its immesne survival skills, it determined that it needed a sustainable way to  catch fish really big brain stuff right here. No one would have ever thought of that before. While it prepared a massive fishing rod, it could hear ,with its ears that it has, thunderfang whimpering under the seat because of the storm. Theyre practically a kittypaw from warrior cats like cmon i thought you were a lightningclaw or whatever. Is what pile of papers kun thouoght in exasperation evily because theyre actually a thunderclaw and it would know that if it listening too their extremely important backstory. 

“Hhey guys” a voice said. Not the boice because the voice is… gone… shes evil… i cant beleive her,... just… leaveing me like that… in 5th period lunch… without her… UGH… shes so evil… and also the other 2 as well but like the. Oh wait shit IM the voice. Shes the different voice. Bro this isnt even the first time this has happened. I went on vacation and when i came back my friend was like oh my god im sso glad (the voice) is back!!! Hi (the voice)!!!!!! And i looked behind me to find this guy and then i realized she was just fully talking about me and that was actually MY name. This was in band by the way. Yea… im a band kid… heh… i guess you could say i… heh… am pretty stupid… as band kids are… bro she always says theres a differentce btween a band kid and a kid in band like she isnt THE band kid. Anyways it wasnt THE voice it was just a voice. And that voice came from… the sky…

Thunderfang and pile of papers kun looked up at the sky, with thuinderfang just barely peeking out from under the bench. And they saw… a cloud… but.. It was smoking a massive blunt. “OH NY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! IS THAT A FUCKING DRUG?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!!! YOU KNOW YOU CANT DO THOSE ITS ILLEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!” thunderfang screamed as it dialed 911 rapidly, forgetting that theyr in the middle of the atlantic ocean with no service. Idiot. 

“Not here it aint.” the cloud said becasue theyre in the middle of the ocean and theres no laws out here… hehehe. This is not true there are laws in internation waters. Do not spread my misinformation. Actallt DO spread my misinformation i enjoy spreading misinforamtion online. Im actually telling the true the whole truth and nothing but the truth and every  single thing in this documennt is completely and utterly true and really did happen in real life. As we all know. “What are yall doing out here in the middle of the atlantic ocean.” the cloud asks as it blows maarijuana smoke out of its mouth.

“We were aboard the titanic as it sank.” pile of papers kun replied as it inconspicuously hid its massive rifle in between its papers that are apart of its pile of papers kun. Remember guys this is practically a rated R object show. 

“Oh yeaaaaaaaa i did that.” said the cloud because it sank the titanic and it actually wasnt the iceberg. Pile of papers kun looked irate and evil, but thunerfang clearly didnt give a shit. 

“Oh WOW!!!!!!!!! Thats SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!” thunderfang screamed as it propelled itself 30 feet into the air and went very high. 

“Hi im cloudy mc cloudface” said the cloud whose name was ackshully cloudly mc cloudface. It took a long drag of its bliunt as it said this. Why is the cloud speaking? Guys theyre asking about the document howdo i explain this and not sound crazy. They think im writing fanfic. I mean theyre right but like also theyre wrong. The cloud blew out a puff of mary jane from its mouth that it has because obviously all clouds have mouths. “Hey kid… wanna come with me…” the cloud said not at all creepily.

“OK SURE!!!!!!!” thunderfang said naively because obviously this cloud that they jist met is NOT doing a run of the mill abduction and abducting them to a strange and unheard of place in the middle of the atlantic. 

“Ok follow me…” it said sllyly as it sent down a long white strand for thunderfang to grab. This disgusted pile of papers kun and it got as far away from the long white “strand” as physically possible while thunderfang got all up on it. The cloud then dragged the boat for many long miles to a massive island in the middle of the ocean. “Alrighty crew… this is your destination…” the cloud said as it retracted its long white “strand” and docked the boat at the island.

Pile of papers kun looked onto the island and saw that it was actually not an island… it was… a massive incandescent mass… a gigantic nuclear fungi…it was… a lot of plants and no real solid land in sight… i… remember this… pile of papers kun thought because it had read life of pi with that guy named after a swimming pool. Oh my days it also thought… my name… is a reference obviously and im not crazy!!!!! Pile of papers kun PIlies of papers kun PI?!?!!?!?!?!??! This was destined from the start… pile of papers kun thought like a madman… madpileofpaper… its niot a man we would never add a character with a clearly defined gender. (Besides Timm with 2 ms)

Thhunderfang excitedlr ran onto the leaves… but… it was actually nighttime and the plants began eating them immediately with their nashing teeth and fangs. Thuunderfang screamed in terror and they ran back to the boat in terror terrorfiedly. Theyre in terror. When they arrived back at the ship they gasped for air because the short run made them extremely winded. “B B B BAKA!!!!!!!! Those plants wanted to eat me!!!!!! This is NOT sugoi!!!!!!”  they said calmly. 

Pil of papers kun cringed and formulated a wondrous plan. Better than all other plans. Its the best plan. Its one big beautiful plan… one big beautiful hbill… “URETHRA IVE GOT IT” pile of papers kun yelped in excitement. It had realized something about itself in this moment… when it had split off from its former self, Y/n (you), through mitosis, it was swept away by the wind to the white house, where it was used to create one. Big. beYOOtiful bill… upon its pages lay the one big beautiful bill that donny trump is trying to ratify… pile of papers kun… sadly… has donald trump to thank for its life… because… the one big beautiful bill… it was big enough… and beautiful enough… to bring pile of papers kun… to life… 

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INTERLUDE.

Whats up gang i read a really shitty book a while back and i wanted to complain about it. So i read the book “the art of being normal” by lisa williamsen and it was genuinely one of the worst books ive ever read. I know i have no room to  talk because i write this shit but this book pissed me off so bad. So its basically  about 2 transgender teens one is transfem, kate, and the other is transmasc, leo. Kates story arc was about her coming out to her friends and family and accepting herself for who she is because she clearly had some internalized transphobia. Leos arc was about him finding his deadbeat dad in the upper area of england because the story is set in like around london i think. 

My first complaint is howw they handled kate being closeted. Throughout the entire story kate was referred to by her deadname, david, and by he/him pronouns, which i understood before she came out, but she was still called this even after she came out which was really fucked up to me. When she came out to leo, he continued to  call her her deadname and inncorrect pronouns even though he asked what she would like to be called. He asked how she would want to be referred to and he completely blew off her wishes. You would think another transperson would understand how important the correct name and pronouns are but th author clearly didnt understand that. This was written by a cisgender author by the way. A lot of how shee handled kate being transgender felt like she had done zero research on trans people and what it means to be transgender. Several times throughout the story and on the blurb on the back of the book, kate is refered to as a boy who WANTS to be a girl which, to me is extremely  transphobic. The summary of the books even states “2 BOYS” instead of a boy and a girl which genuinely disgusts me. The book feels slightly transphobic at bbest and like it was written by a massive terf at worst. The author doesnt feel like she considers trans women as women you know? Like she writes like she thinks transwomen are just confused boys or something which i get from how she wrote kate throughout the entire story. 

Another point is how she handled leo coming out to kate. This scene specifically pissed me off so bad. In the scene kate vents to leo about how she wants to be veiwed as a girl by people instead of a boy and leo says that he understands and kate says that he couldnt because hes not trans. Then leo comes out to kate by PULLUNG HIS SHIRT OFF nad REVELAING HIS BINDER??????? Like does this lady think the only way you could come out to someone is by revealing your fucking genitals??? This is actually disgusting not only because thats weird as hell and no one ever does that but also because leo is a 16 year old boy. He is a minor and she wrote him to show his binder to come out to someone. Like were there no other option??? Could she not have just had him SAY that hes transmasc??? It just shows her lack of research. To me the whole book feels like some cis lady saying HEY GUYS LOOK IM AN ALLY without even trying to do it well. She clearly did absolutley zero research on trans people and as a transguy this scene in particular pisses me off. Also leo being trans was treated as a plot twist in kates story which pissed me off so bad when i read it. Like what the hell honestly. 

Also the actual story was mid as fuck. Like the only actual plot there was leo running off to find his deadbeat dad and him being as asshole to kate the entire time. That scetion was also the only time kate was ever referred to by her correct name and pronouns because sshe was wearing a dress and a wig. It felt like the author was sayiung that ike to be treated with basic human respect you had to look thee part and you couldnt be respected during or pre transition even in private if your school or work was incredibly ransphobic like their was. This bringgs me into mmy next point that kate and leo both were outed to the entire school. It made sense in the story in leos case, but it disgusted me in kates case. Kate had come out to her friends and family maybe a week before this incident and they decided to throw a party at the abandoned swimming pool in town where they invited every single person in thee entire school and showed to them aall that she was transgender when they all knew that their school was incredibly hostile to trans people because of an incident with leo several weeks rpior. It showed that the author did so little research that she didnt even know the detrimental effect being forced out of the closet can have on trans and queer people. She wrote it so that they all knew exactly how much more of a target this would put on kates back, because she had already been being bulied before this, and her friends just didnt care. 

Another thing that pissed mee off was that at th end of the story, leo got back together with a girl who broke up with him because he was transgender and she was incredibly transphobic. She practically outed him to her friends and they told their entire school and he was harassed for weeks before he eventually had to leave. And then he just got back together wth her??? Shes a terrible person??? Why would he have done that? It feels like the author is downplaying what ah orriffic thing she did to him in favor of having a “happy” ending and making the story feel more complete. The author doesnt seem to have done any research at all and decided to make this story as half assed as possible to prove something to someone. The art of being normal was a genuinely terrible book in my opinion. 

Because of these reasons, we here at sin.exe have decided to steal kate and leo as our collective ocs and give them the justice they deserve and write their stories better than they were before. Their characters will be introduced in a later arc AND!!!!! Kate will NEVER be deadnamed or misgendered again. Their stories will be the only even slightly well written part of this entire fanfiction so dont worry gang you have a lot to look forward to in the future of sin.exe.

END INTERLUDE. 

GUYS 80 thousand WORDS!!!!!!!!! WE DID IT WERE SO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!! 80 WHOLE THOUSANDS!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too damn long. But also… not long enough…

I think that was a good spot to end the life of pi section for this chapter.

Mean. with Y/N because we gotta check up on you… love you kitten…

As you strolled to your meeting, leaving your mother father behind, you thought about many many things such as how you should enforce the laws to most oppress your subjects. You twirled your marie antionette hair as your french dictator cape fluttered behind you. You opened the massive double doors leading into the meeting room and took your seat at your opulent golden throne. 

“Youre 10 minutes late, your majesty.” one of your advisors stated bitchedly.

“Guards, kill him.” you declared because you will NOT tolerate such disloyalty. The guards grabbed him by his arms and dragged him away kicking and screaming to the gulltotines in the dungeon, away from all of your expensive skin rugs. Human skin of course, thats what you do to all the people who disobey you. 

“Your majesty, i apologize for this oversight… but… i have accidentally allowed a… uprising… in my sector…” a lordlady says. This is one of many people who oversee local govern,ents so you dont have to do as much… you make a decision.

“Guards. Have the army quench this uprising and kill every local governmental official.” you order.

“ALL the lords, ladies, and lordladies, ma’amsir?” one guard asks.

“Yes and kill that guy as well for questioning me.” you scream as many more guards drag away the lordlady and the guard to euthanize them. They all need to be put down. As you make this order the other advisors that survived inch away from you probablly to preserve their lives. You find this incredibly offensive, but your guards are away… you quickly take out a massive assault rifle and begin shooting every advisor in the room. You d0 not need advising you know exactly what you want to do. “Janitor” you scream at the person outside the metting hall, “clean up this mess. Its dirtying my human skin rugs.” 

Then… suddenly… you remember that you actually were supposed to be in this meeting with the elvder gods of negative hell and also everywhere else or something. You calledtshis meeting to harness their immense power for your own evil deeds… You begin chanting the ritual to summon the elder gods for your meeting… “chant chan tchant chant” is what you say… “ONII CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1”

You watch the elder gods rise from the floor and take your seat once again in your opulent golden chair. “WHAT IS THE MEANING FOR THIS MEETING?????” lemon demon screeched.

“I want to harness your power to use for my own evil deeds.” you said honstly. Honestly beleiving the elder gods would agree to that.

“HOW DASTARDLY. I LOVE IT” lemon demon said with his metallic voice that projects across the 7 realms. Oh my days new arc alert?!?!!??!?? Travelling the 7 realms?!?!!!??!??! Lemon demon began playing a lovely tune ouot of his microphone that he ate. Maybe its a speaker. “THIS IS XTRATUNA MY ASSISTANT.” lemon demon screamed as spring heeled jack blasted across the 7 realms and hurt eeveryones ears except yours because you have plot armou.

“Hi!!!!! Im xtratuna!!!!!! Im just happy to be here!!!!!!!” xtratuna said before droppinng another FUCKING BANGER!!!!!!!!11 “[Intro: Chicken]

Kra-kra-kra-kaa!

[Verse 1: Homer and Chicken]

Marge, look!

I'm playing Crossy Road

It's a hit new game

That I've got on my phone

All I gotta do

Is swipe and tap

And collect these donuts— I mean, coins! (*squawk*)

[Refrain: Homer]

Chicken, run!

Chicken jump!

Chicken, swim!

Oh no, he drowned

Chicken, fly!

Chicken, why?

Chicken, duck!

Wait, that's not right

[Chorus: Homer]

I'm driving my car

I'm driving my car

Look out, chicken

I'm driving my car

I'm driving my car

I'm driving so far

Look out, chicken

'Cause I'm driving my car

See upcoming pop shows

Get tickets for your favorite artists

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Jackie’s Box

XTRATUNA

HUNTR/X - Golden (Romanized)

Genius Romanizations

Golden

HUNTR/X, EJAE, AUDREY NUNA, REI AMI & KPop Demon Hunters Cast

[Instrumental Interlude: Chicken]

Ka-kaa-kruh-kaa!

Kru-kuh-kuh-kaa!

[Verse 3: Chicken and Homer]

I am the Chicken

I'm gonna lay an egg

Didn't think I'd be doing this when I got out of bed

Why did the Chicken

Cross the road?

I'm so stressed that

I'm gonna explode! (Say what?)

[Refrain: Chicken]

Chicken, run!

Chicken jump!

Chicken, swim!

Oh no, I drowned!

Chicken, fly!

Chicken, why?

Why do I gotta cross the road all the time?

[Chorus: Chicken]

I'm crossing the road

I'm crossing the road

Look out Homer

I'm crossing the road

I'm crossing the road

I'm crossing the road

Look out Homer

I'm crossing the road

[Interlude: Homer and Chicken]

Hey, Chicken. Wanna sing together?

Okay!

[Chorus: Homer and Chicken]

We're crossing the road

We're crossing the road

Look out world!

We're-

[Outro]

*Alarm*

Warning, Alex, a harmful program has been detected on your device. Your browsing data and personal files are risk of theft and/or permanent deletion. Please contact your internet service provider within 10 minutes. (*Alarm*)

*Alarm*

A harmful program has been detected on your device. You must contact your internet service provider within ten minutes. (*Alarm*)

*Alarm*

Warning, Alex, a harmful program has been detected on your device. Your browsing data and personal files are risk of theft and/or permanent deletion. Please contact your internet service provider within ten minutes. (*Alarm*)

*Alarm*

A harmful program has been detected on your de- (*Alarm*)” xtratuna sang amazingly. Go chekc out animal crossing by xtratuna guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Thats sweet honey.” lemon demon said to xtratuna because he was actually his son and xtratuna was a nepo baby. Heh… well actually… xtratuna doesnt feel influenced by lemon demon… lemon demon is way too awesome… but also… heh… i dont give a shit… 😝😝😝

You sat back in your chair and put on your best customer service smile because these 2 are pissing you off… how evil you are to hate xtratuna music… your subjects should dethrone you for your horriffic taste. You struggle to not immediately blow xtratuna up with the millions of bombs currently placed in every room of your castle to prevent this specific scenario, but you know that you cant harvest their powers if they die. “Where is transfem georga washington pray tell?” you ask.

… a pause… 

“She…” hastune miku began

Another pause… 

“Died…” nikacado avocado finished

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN

“She was killed by your sister, bbarb with 3 bs…” ulysses s grant said as hatsune miku cried for her beloved yuri girlfriend… they were actually dating that entire time… georgia washington x hatsune miku canon?!!?!?!??!?! Every miku is canon.

“Who said this bitch could be here???” you asked rhetorically. You dont like cheezit grant no body does. Also he kidnapped you several times. And also your siblings but they dont matter. Theyre an after thought. 

Suddenly… wih out warning… your mother father billy the cell slipped into the room. “Oh i sweetie!!!! I thought the meeting would be over by now! Your  treasury secretary wants to talk to you about your excess spending on the military. Just thought id pop in to let you know!!! Love you honey!!!!” it said as it kissed you on the cheek.

“MOTHER FATHER. I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT MEETING. UGH. THIS CAN WAIT.” you yell because now your evil reputation is RUUUUUUUUUUUUUuUIIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD THEYLL NEVER TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY AGAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hear the elder gods chuckling as you shoo billy the cell out of the meeting hall. You walk back to your throne and take your seat again. You decide they will never allow you to harness their power after tha display, so you click a button on the side of your opulent golden throne and metals biindings fly out of the elder gods seats and pin them in palace so you can begin stealing their raddiant energy. 

You climb onto the table and begin preparing the ritual as the gods thrash in their seats beside you. You ignore their cries and wave off the gaurds when they attempt to enter the chamber. Because of plot armour, cheezxit grant easily slips out of his binds but, being a genius, you anticipated this and shot him 37 times in the chest with your assault rifle. You had hid it inside your lucious locks during the meeting (you have your marie antionette haircut remember youre cosplaying a french dictator.) because of plot armour, these bullets fly out of cheezit grants chest and he blasts off like team rocket through the roof… how annoying… this palace cost a lot of unpaid labor to build… ugh youre going to have to kill like 15 peasents to make yourself feel better. 

You place your scepter in the middle of the table and began chanting the ancient ritual written on the ancient texts you took legally from the museum because you own it because you took over the entire eastern seaboard and therefore can have anything you want. As the chant continues the sky begins raining blood and the ancient elder gods begin glowing from every oraface 😉. You see across the table that the mha foot gods are rubbing together in a desperate attempt to conserve the final remains of their power as it is sucked away from them. Unfortunately… their desperate attmept worked because the ritualss was taking too long because it required like 3 people and you  had to fill all the pparrts by yourself UGH! If only you had another evill co conspirator to plot with!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!! Youre just to gacha hated child to get what you want  ig. 

In their desperate attempt… the mha foot gods… they summoned… he they!!!!!!!!!! Him they them!?!?!!??!?!?!!?? Its… your brother sibling… you never thought you would see his face again after you destroyed him with the power of friendship to return the wheel too its rigghtful place amongst us lowley mortals… but… you see before you standing above their parents… JOHN. THE PERIOD IS INCLUDED IN THE NAME. 

“Hello… brothersister…” he says omninously as all the other gods fall unconcious because their godly energy has been sucked from them. As you both rush to be the first to grab the specter with all the energy…

DUN DUN DUNN cliff hanger. Totally not because i dont feel like writing a fight scene right now. 

Alright gang remember when this was about tidedetergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan enemies to lover? BOOM

FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!

Tide detergent chan went home after a long day at work to its loving husband wife, billy the cell. It truly does love billy the cell for sure probably like a little bit. But also like… 🫦 bro… that cheezit grant though… 🫦it walked through the front door of their humble abode and called out “YOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO HONEEEEEEEEEY IM HOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!” and sat its ass down on the couch to wait for its husband wife to cook it dinner. It heard scrambling upstairs andn the sounds of someone being shoved out a window. but it thought nothing of it because billy the cell was probably just doing cosplay or smth. Tide detergent chan watched a fully naked man fall from the 2nd floor window. Tide detergent cann meandered up the stairs to billy the cells room (its relationship has been rocky lately so they sleep in separate rooms now.)

“Hello honey! I thought you were going to get home at 6? Its 430!” billy the cell said through gritted teeth as it opened the door to its bedroom. 

“I got off work early today honey!!!! Isnt that so wonderful!!!!” tide detergent chan replied cheerfully. “Also i got a promotion and a raise and a massive bonus!!!!!! Because im sucha… goooood booygiiirl… “ 

“Thats nice sweetie.” billy the cell chan said as it looked nervously at the window and rubbed its pregnant belly. They both recently got pregnant at the same time but what billy the cell doesnt know is that tide detergent chan has been cheating… with… cheezit grant… and the baby… isnt billy the cells… its… cheezit grants… “oooooooooooooh sweetie what should we name the babies? I was thinking #9609876 and #2 because im lazy as hell.”

“Oh those are wonderful names!!!” tide detergent chan said not really listening because it was busy thinking about its beautiful perfect affair partner, cheezit grant… and also rubbing its pregantn belly. “Well kitten… wheres dinner… daddymommys hungry…” tide detergent chan said seductively and also evilly.

“Oh well daddymommy…” billy the cell said hatefully, but tide dtetergent chan didnt realize it “you came home so early i didnt have time too fix you a 10 course meal like i always do because im such a good kitten.”

Tide detergent chan slapped billy the cell across the cell “HOW DARE YOU MAN WOMAN!!!! FIX ME MY DINNER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!” it said calmly before skipping dowwn the stairs and sitting at the table with a cheeky grin on its face. It put its napkin in its shirt and held the fork and knife out with its fists firmly on the table. 

Billy the cell dwadled in its room and put away various sex toys that it was using with its affair partner, cheezit grant, before going down stairs to cook dinner. I really wonder why billy the cell is cheating 🤔🤔🤔. 

Timeskip to the babies are born.

Tide detergent chan and billy the cell walk home after giving birth side by side and holding handds on the operating tables, both knowing that the babies are products of an affair… “oh billy the cell our babies 1 and 2 are so beautiful… i cant wait for this one to transition into aa car woman!!!!!!” tide detergent chan said while pointing at the enzymatic isotope in billy the cells arms because it can already tell at 4 seconds old that that is going to be a transfem transwoman transition (which is a car part). Tide detergent chan left the babies in billy the cells arms and went outside to call its affair partner, cheezit grant. 

“Ayup my skibidi.” he said on the 3rd ring. 

“My little shmoopums your baby has been born please come say hi when billy the cell is at work!!!!!!” tide detergent chan pleaded with cheezit grant.

“Nah bruh im breaking up with you. I do NOT want that fuckin baby.” cheezit grant said disgusted at the mere pprospect of having to actually be attentive to his children. He hung up the call and tide detergent chan fell dramatically to the sidewalk and sobbed very loudly and billy the cell definitely heard but did not care because billy the cell was currently having the exact same conversation with the exact same person. 

Timeskip. To the future… tide detergent chan quit itss job at the factory and is now working in the mines below the twin towers. 

Tide detergent chan strolled into the mines on its children first birthday not caring about the uncaring world around it because there not way IN HELL its going to celebrate the birthday party of a child who cant even remember yet. It will also not attend any of their other birthday parties because it yearns for the mines and also, quite frankly, doesnt give a shit about its children. Tide detergent chan looks forward to seeing chicken noodle soup chan again in the mines because billy the cell cant… please… it because its prgnant again but this time its tide detergent chans child and tide detergent chan still doesnt know that billy the cell cheated and billy the cell doesnt know that tide detergent chan cheated with the same person. 

Then… there it was… tide detergent chan saw it… chicken noodle soup chan mining away… the slight dent in the bottom of itss can was more prominent as it bent over the rocks and mined away… how seductive… to show its love, tide detergent chan ran up to chicken noodle soup senpai and kicked it square in the nonexistent face. Chicken noodle soup chan fell to  the floor in pain and tide detergent chan took that as a good sign to punch it again. “KYS LITTLE BITCCH BOYGIRL I HOPE YOU DIE DOWN HERE ASSHAT.” it screamed as the other minors pulled them oof of eachother. They think its revenge for how chicken noodle soup chan throatpunched tide detergentt chan last week, but secretly… it liked it… its a masochist and it enjoys being beat. 

The other minors dragged tide detergent chan to their managers desk and plopped it in the seat. “Now WHY in the SAM HELL are you fighting during work.” the manager scrempt in a southern accent.

“I was just professing my love!!!!!!!!!” tide detergent chan defended.

“Ok bussy. Ur done. Skedaddle on outa here cause youre fired.” the manager fired tide detergetn cha.

It dragged its feet as it walked out of the mines before being violently beat up by chicken noodle soup chan. Tide detergent chan fell to the floor and liquid detergent spilled from its bottle cap as it sputtered. Chicken noodle soup chan got on top of tide detergent chan and began viciously beating the shit out of it. Secretly, tide detergetn chan liked it and would love to do it again. 

“Alright. Ur both fired. I dont like ur attitude.” the manager said aas a crowd formed around the 2 lovebirds and watched them fight viciously. They both got up and walked out of the mines together and then when the light hit their eyes they both crumpled to the ground because they are nocturnal vampire gaymers and they cant stand the sun because of their gaymer eyes. When they got out of the mines they both went their separate ways and secretly, tide detergent chan longed to see its beloved again… little did it know… that time would come soon.. For chicken noodle soup chan senapi was plotting to kill tide detergentchan at this very moment…

Chicken noodle soup chan walked inconspicuously towards a store. It was inconspicuous because it was wearing its signature 20 inch nails (hands and feet), no shirt, no pants, john pork boxers, rainbow suspenders, and the all holy janties ™(jean panties) on top (its trendy, everyones wearing the janties ™). Also obviously no shoes and rainbow thigh highs with the toes cut out. Chicken noodle soup chan had cut out the crothc of its janties to expose john pork beautiful face to the world obviously. (the different voice make a slideshow painting of this). Maybe

The store chicken noodle soup chan was heading to was actually the gun store. It already had several guns at home, but it felt that a more… special… gun was needed for the job it was about to do. And that job was… to kill tide detergent chan… DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That totally wasnt stated like 2 paragraphs ago.

Chapter Text

These chapters are crazy bro. Theyre probably this length because of all the ongoing arcs we have happening at once. If we didnt have this many arcs going on all the time then the chapters would be significantly shorter. Anyways this is another graph. I fell off guys the last chapter was 1000 words shorter than chapter 25… 😔😔😔

Alright gang time to skibidi write!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Lowkey just filling space because the graph is on a different page of the document and the blank space is pissing me off. Anyways how are you kittens!!!!!!!! Im doing good on the island which is definately where is am. Bro how do ou even spell definitely like ive neveer spelled it right in my entire life. Does it hurt to move for anyone else or is it just me. Ok i filled the space heres the graph chat.

With tide detergent chan, chicken noodle soup senpai, and the gang in the present… not the flashback…

“Weve gotta go overthrow Y/n theyre getting out of control.” timm with 2 ms said but everyone immediately dismissed him because hes a bitch. 

“Stfu timm with 2 ms.” tide detergetn chan said.

“Guys i think we should stop y/n and over throw them because theyre crazy.” bbabr with 3 bs said like the reasonable person she is. We love bbarb with 3 bs and everyone listens to her because shes not a bitch. 

“Oh what a wondderful idea bbarb with 3 bs youre our favorite child!!!!” tide deterrgent cchan exclaimed and then side eyed timm with 2 ms pointedly. 

Wait guys when we post these chapters we should update the to add section on the website(you're the only one who updates things on the website I just summon you to do that stuff for me because I don’t wanna break it). Lets leave this in the chapter so that the readers see that we updated it because im too lazy to make an actual annouocnement. 

Timm with 2 ms summoned his Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) and they all flew off to new york where y/ns castle was situated directly over the rubble of the twin towers and the memorial because they wanted to keep the rubble to remind their subjects of what they wwere capable of and to remind the peasants that y/n should be feared. They dont care to tell them thaat it was timm with 2 ms Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD)  and John. The period is incuded in the name that destroyed the twin towers. 

Timm with 2 ms planted the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). Directly into the ground and it exploded boom boom boom. And they gang all went to gather their army. They all walked back to the zombies that basil OMORI turned human and decided to recruit them to their militia. Timm with 2 ms Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). Was unnecessary. Guuys i dont think Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD).s fly. I think theyre ground based. Then how do they deter missiles they gotta get in the air somehow. theyre just chill like that sounds like a skill issue if the other missiles gotta fly.

Basil from OMORI began skittering towards the crowd before timm with 2 ms leashed him like a dog and pulled him back. “HEEL.” he shouted at his ‘British’ ‘Person’ “why is bro trying to get them”he asked as his british “person” barked britishly in a british accent at the growing crowd. It was growing because they had shrunk as swedish zombies and now they are going back to they way they once were. They shrunk because their skin fell off. What happens to the cremated people when the zombie apocalypse comes? And the taxidermied people? I wanna be taxidermied so when i come back as a zombie my beautiful form is preserved and i can pretend to be alive and kill people secretly. 

“Maybe it is hostile and needs to be put down” chicken noodle soup chan said as it aimed its rifle shotgun flamethrower at basil OMORIs head and prepared to fire. Tide detergent cchan stopped chicken nooodle soup chan senpai from killing timm with 2 ms british “person” because he has plot armour. Timm with 2 ms would walk his british ‘person’.

Bbarb with 3 bs strode confidently to their militia and began to give a long winded speech… but then… because i dont want to write all that dialouge… shee felt a disturbance with her transfem powers from transfem georgia washington… bbarb with 3 bs did a triple backflip in the air and landed like a superhero before calling the militia to follow her straight to y/ns castle and every single person followed her immediately because her transfem sigma alpha aura is just too powerful too resist. The gang watched bbarb with 3 bs run by like naruto. 

The gang was trampled as tthe herd followed bbarb with 3 bss, but they quickly pooped back up like spring toys and used timm with 2 ms Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). To go on their own adventure except from timm with 2 ms who was left behind with his boyfriend,  Sir isxac newton. They had to go to… the… wait whats it called like the insurrection or something UPRISING. I had to go look back and chekc… they musst gather more recruits from the various uprisings against their evil dictator. 

Timm with 2 ms and sir isxac newton ran with the militia to catch up to bbarb with 3 bs but actually timm with 2 ms was rolling becaausse hes a car and he doesnt have legs unless is say he has legs. Theres this guy in my physics class who looks like chris chan. 

“Heh… heh… hjeh… (thats timm with 2 ms panting because he doesnt do any physical activity) bbarb with 3 bs… whats up…” he huffed and pufffed and blew her house down. Big bad wolf style. 

“Stfu timm with 2 ms were going to y/ns castle to french revolution them.” bbarb with 3 bs said with a plan “wheres the babby” she asked because it was important in the plan… and suddenly… the baby was there… WOW!!!!! It is summoned at the mention of its name, the baby.

“Hello i am the second coming of jesus chrsit.” i said. (remember the baby is first person guys!!!!!!!!!!) “i am the antichrist as well.” i said because this was something that makes and made sense to everyone. I flew alongside the cars and ate cheezits which none of them seemed to like very much. I knew exactly why because i ma coincidentally mortal enemies with cheezit grant aand so i eat cheezits to siphon his power becausse, as everyone knows, cheezit grantgets its cheezous powers from cheezit and the less of them there are in the world, the les power he has… i also knew through my christ figure literature powers, that i will die in the near future by being crucified. Just like my OG. he was a real one fr. guys is this sacreligious? As a side note, i am also jewish just like my goat, OG jesus christ,, ffrfr. 

I watched bbarb with 3 bs do seveeral triple quadruple 360 backflips and aura farm in front of her army. HERE COMES THE GENERAL. She learned from the best, transfem georga washington. Rest in pieces a real one. 

As i turneed around i saw the castle approaching in the distance and timm with 2 ms ordered his british “person” to heel and wait for bbarb with 3 bs command to attack. The militia formed lines around the palacato surround it. They got the order throuhg bbarb with 3 bs newfound psychic abilities and timm with 2 ms just kinda wandered because hes too much of a beta cuck to receive orders via mind powers. 

As this happened… i knew… what i had to do… but then bbarb with 3 bs said it so i wouldnt be lost because secretly… i was born 3 hours ago forthe 2nd time… jus t like jesus… from… the bible… “the baby youre going to use your jesus christ antichrist powers to scout or smth i dont fuckin care.” bbarb with 3 bs said into my mind as she organized her many troops with her mind psychich aabilities. This wwould be far from my only purpose in this battle… 😈😈😈 So i used my antichrist powers to use xray vision and i saw…

DUN DUNDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.

Mean. with chicken noodle soup chan and gang. 

“hey bbg.” tide detergetn chan said to chicken noodle soup chan as they rode on the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). And went really  fast. 

“Can you 2 shut the fuck up.” pheonix wrong says as he guides timm with 2 ms Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD).Towards their destination. 

“No” chicken noodle soup chan said as it smashed its face ,that exists, into tide detergetn chans bottle cap and they made out aggresively as the world like ended and the french revolution was like starting. They kknew that at this moment bbarb with 3 bs and her army was preparing about 9083486953534568063467854 guilltoines all to kill y/n. 

They touched down at the site of the first uprising and all the 

other uprisings after it and the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). exploded and they all got out and strode confidently towards the uprisers who were being held in jail underneath many a guillotine. “Hello gang.” tide detergettn chan beagn as it contneud to drink chicken noodle soup “ were are here before you today to like recruit you to our militia and take down your evil dictator who is also my sondaughter. I was like so onboard with their dictator stuff because they tried to kill my least favorite child (hes cisgender) bu (I like how you just stopped writing in the middle of a word) t theyre getting a little funky with it and im not mclovin the vibe upp in here so lets go kill them!!!!!!!!” tide detergent chah said to motivate motivationally and recruit recruitingly. 

Obviously all the people actively being executed were all like YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA and they sigmaly broke out of their guilltoines by going alpha mode and exploding the wood and steel trapping them in place. They all grew millions of muscles at once and alphaed out and ran towards the castle to get orders from bbarb wih 3 bs because shes just better. Wait the different voice check my discord profile im thee #1 true alpha now. Its really good. Then after having recruited all the recruits, tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan began to sigma sigma spin like spinjitsu… they began to float into the air wee all float down here… and a bright light began to emanate front their corporeall forms as they ascended to godhood. /j gang not really theyre not quite sigma alphas enough. Am i doing a good job of marketing to the kids? Alpha!!!!! Skeedabee!!!! Sbeekadee toilets~!!! 67????? Adrian. Barbershop haircut!!!!! I had one once… they fucked me up so bad gang… i have the basic whitee boy cut and they made it thin… it was`ugly… i had to wear a hat all summer… dont worry your little heads kittens…. Now my hair cut looks better and i doo it myself and it looks like shit most of the time… i gave myself a triangle once… it looked like a freakity fracking graph bro… rise over run!!!!! You could plot that shit. 

Tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan spun more rapidly and… suddenly… yaoi music began playing!! Yuri!!!!!! Its anime magical girl sequence playing!!!!!!! They spun around and danced to the sound of the beat… this was the music that played. 

[Intro]

Gera Gera Po, Gera Gera Po

Whoo!

Gera Gera Po, Gera Gera Po!

Come on!

[Verse 1: Peter Michail]

So sit back here's their story

Nate say "Hey YO No!"

Whisper go cracka-lacka-boom-boom

There’s more Yo-kai than taters in Idaho

Like Cheeksqueek and his popo

Feel that there? Way down low?

Fidgephant makes you need a quick commode

All is Gerap Po, turn back the clock, yo

Haha, see what we can see

[Verse 2: Kathryn Lynn]

Oh my lost friend, who cares for him?

A home is what he so needs

Kids in this town, they have family

He wants that safety

With nightfall comes great danger

And things go from strange to so much stranger

[Outro]

Gera Gera Po!

Gera Gera Po!

Yeah!

Gera Gera Po!

Gera Gera Po!

It's easy come on

Those Yo-kai

Make life awry

'Cause he’s got that Yo-kai...

Yo-kai Watch!

Woah yeah!

And then oonce the song ended tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan fell to the ground like super hero action movie hero boy girl and they, like magical girls boys, they ran towards the battle field with their messenger pigeons carrier pigeons homing pigeons i dont remember the word the pigeons used back in… the war…

FALSHBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tide detergent chan got the letter on sunday june 21st 1935… they were at sunday dinner with  their veeeeeerry religious not at all atheist because its 1935 family. The little fleshcars sat at the end of the table and threw food at eachother and their new baby sibling who was a pile of papers and also a human being and also… 

Guys im just doing shit at tthis ppoint. 

It opened the letter as billy the cell dropped it on the table and stared back at its food. Hoping desperately that tide detergetn chan would be sent to war biut tide detergetn chan didnt know that and assumeed it was an incrediblly loving look. As it opened the letter it saw… 

“Tide detergent chan” … it paused reading at seeing its name in a government envelope… “youvee been lowkey drafted high key get to battle and fight fight fight lowkey shiiiiiit… nonchalant like literally dont even be chaklant about it. You are going to Normandy.” thats what the letter said… legit…

tide detergent chan put its head in its hands and sobbed. “Honey sweetie shmoopums pookie pie… what was in the letter…” bilyl the cell asked 

Tide detergent chan threw the letter towards its husband wife and cired out… “im hashtag going to waaaaaaaaaaar!!!!!!!” billy the cell read the letter and looked down for a minute to compose itself. What tide detergent chan didnt know was that it was very happy and not sad because it wants a divorce becaause it has found another. Billy the cell looked back up ad comforted its husband wife but secretly was very happy becausse it will die ♥️😊

The children looked their way and began violently sobbing except for all of them  because actually they were laughing. Even the little baby #6 who was very happy because they could already feel that they were the gacha life hated child and their parents loved the other 2 more… they may or may not be plotting some shit… they put their hands together and tap them ominously as that looked at their arents secretly plotting their imminent demise while their other siblings beat eachoter up… even at 945 days old y/n already be plottin. 

The next morning tide detergent chan woke upp very fast because the baby (not The Baby) was screaming bloody murder, but it ignored it and left the baby for billy the cell to deal with because men women belong in the kitchen and doing the childcare and women men dont have time to dealwith it while theyre money makung. Ive decided that they are both yaoi and yuri simultaneously. 

Theres a couple spelling mistakes but its ok theyre not bugs theyre features.

Tide detergent chan woke up again after it already woke up and then went downstairs sigmaly and skibidied the way over to the local spot where they take you to Normandy. Guys this is completely and entitely historically accurate and i reasearched soooooooo much in oreparation for this flashback. I wish i had more time in lunch because i was lowkey in the zone as i wrote this. 

Tide detergent chan boarded the Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). Because they were already being used as pulic transport and flew to normandy oh my god. Tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan were gonna be on opposite sides of this war but then i realized that would =mean chicken noodle soup chan is a nazi and i cant be having that so actually the year is 1963 and theyre fighting commies. This is NOT i repeat NOT world war 2. This is the cold war and it just so happened to take place in Normandy and i guess they were fighting or something. 

This will be good for the family because i will earn  money since i just got fired from the… mmines… a few weeks ago and i will earn money and be the hashtag money maker of the hashtag family and i will be the #breadwinner. Tide detergent chan thought to itself on the long 2 minute flight to normandy. As it unboarded the ship and took out its super ultra mega pistol and took aim on the ccommunists across the water on the shores of Normandy… there it was… it saw it across enemy lines… chicken noodle soup chan… the love of its life even if senpai didnt know yet…

Tide detergent chan fired. The bullet pierced right through chicken noodle soup chans metal exoskeleton… tide detergent chan rushed through the ranks to reach its future lover… when it reached it side, it grasped chicken noodle soup chan in its arms “no… this cannot be… my love mi amor please!!!!! You cannot die before we are wed!!!!!!” it screamed as chicken noodle soup chans eyes went dark… tide detergent chan wept a single tear for the love that would never be… and then… as the tear fell on chicken noodle soup chans metallic form… it woke up from the dead from the power of… friendship!!!!!!!!!! Chicken noodle soup senpai stared lovingly into tide detergentchans loving eyes andfliped it over on its back. It beat tide detergent chan until the battle was long over as bullets whizzeed around them and explosions rang through the air… nothing could stop their overwhelming love for eeachother. 

Chicken noodl soup senpai finally stopped beating in the plastic of tide detergent chans plasticy body when its brothers in arms pulled it off of tide detergent chan long later. Tide detergent chan crawled away, somehow still alive from the power lof friendship, love, and plot armour… “chicken noodle soup snapai… please… i love you…” it coughed out as it fell onto its back and stared into chicken noodle soup chans beautiful incandescent form. 

Chicken noodle soup chan looked back as it walked away and spat on tide detergent chans body aas it bled out on the sands of Normandy. When it reached the crest of the hill, it looked back lovingly at its kitten one last time and blew it a beautiful kiss before shotting it in thee chest with a pistol from 900 yards. Tide detergent chans tide detergent sunk into the sinking ground and tide detergent chan, in its final thoughts, thought not about its family back at home, but of its one true love, chicken noodle soup ssenapi. Then as tide detergent chan drew its final breaths… the world went dark… 

Plagiarism time!!!!!

____________________________________________________________________________ YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!1

  FOR the most wild, yet most homely narrative which I am about to pen, I neither expect nor solicit belief. Mad indeed would I be to expect it, in a case where my very senses reject their own evidence. Yet, mad am I not -- and very surely do I not dream. But to-morrow I die, and to-day I would unburthen my soul. My immediate purpose is to place before the world, plainly, succinctly, and without comment, a series of mere household events. In their consequences, these events have terrified -- have tortured -- have destroyed me. Yet I will not attempt to expound them. To me, they have presented little but Horror -- to many they will seem less terrible than barroques. Hereafter, perhaps, some intellect may be found which will reduce my phantasm to the common-place -- some intellect more calm, more logical, and far less excitable than my own, which will perceive, in the circumstances I detail with awe, nothing more than an ordinary succession of very natural causes and effects.

I know you (the voice) won’t know what this is

It's the first paragraph of The Black Cat by Edgar Allan Poe

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr imnm the alpha i should know what this is grrrrrrrrrrr i dont know it grrrrrr woof woof bark bark grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i hate cats because im thhe alpha

I’m upset that the readers don’t get to see that all the plagiarized sections are written in comic sans.

Oh eya i love that we do that iv wish i could have different font colors in ao3 to show them when a different author is writing 

Yeah but it's also kinda funny because they’re never 100% whose writing

Thats true but also its almos always me or you and we have very ifferenet writing styles because i misspell every word and you like hashtag care about grammar hashtag hashtag ewwwwwww weird imagine

Ya but it would make one of the three times someone else edits all the better

Oooooo i seee i agree yes

______________________________________________________________

Mean. Inn the present with y/n

You and John. the period is included in the name both raced for the staff in the middle of the table as the bodies of the elder gods lied around you. The MHA foot gods still rubbed together because uh they have to. Aw man remember when we switched tenses every 3 sentences (more like every 3 seconds), the good ol days. 

You bot grabbed hold of the scepter at the same exact time and you played tug of war with it in your mouths for several minutes until you used your skibidi alpha toilet powers of gacha life hated child to blast john. The period is included in the name into the wall behind him. “Wait skibidi!!!!!!” john. The period is included in the name screamed “we have a common enemy and i can see with my 3rd eye,” his3rd eye opens up 2016 human bill cipher design style “that the spring peasants are outside your palace right now… we could work together to kill them and then continue this fight later.” they reason

You are sightly swayed by his words, but you remember that this is john. The period is included in the name and he is evil and they should die again. “hmmmmmm… “ you scheme considering his offer… this would be the perfect scheme… they would never suspect that john. The period is inclluded in the name is here so obviously it would bee tthe perfect plot to win the revolution and regain ultimate control… and if you dont let go of the staff after slaughtering your enemies you hve an advantage and you can kill them more easily… mwahahahahahahahahahahaha “fine… i will momentarily have a truce with you…” you say and shake his hand. Their hand is sticky and covered in cheeseous residue. 

You leave the room with the staff in hand and walk to the terrace to survey the revolutionaries… mwahahahahahahaha it is all in your control… you begin to laugh evilly as the guilltoines emerge from their positions in the walls and the sheets covering them fall. You throw your arms out and cackle as the armies begin to advance on your ccastle… you have the high ground in an incredibly defensible position. There is no way you can lose now. 

You spin around with your dictator coat billowing dramatically behind you and slam the doors of your castle before the guards stationed dramatically everywhere begin to follow you as an armed guard of body guards. Thunder cracks in the distance as the camera changes place on the floor to follow you ffrom a dramatic angle in front of you as you walk. 

You see john. The period is included in the name slinking slyly and stealthily around your castle but since you have your super ultra alpha galaxy shadow the alpha scepter, he cannot harm you in any way so you pay them no mind. As you make your way to the weapons room, you bark orders at the various guards stationed around you for dramatic effect to form lines and  destroy the approaching army. In the weapons storage you grab many guns and ammo so you can have your main character moment and shoot them dramatically into the air as thunder crackles behind you dramatically. 

You walk swiftly down the hallways again and take your rightful place atop the throne and wait for the armies to advance to your doorstep for the most dramatic effect… “oh honey hello!!!!!!1 i heard there was a little bit of a revolution going on and i wanted to say that i think youre doing a wonderful job!!!! I love you sweetie!!! Oh these guilltotines are just so aesthetic!!” billy the cell, your mother father, exclaims as it runs into the throne room.

:) I spent most of the class working on this, that's crazy :)

“MOTHER FATHER PLEASE. I AM HAVING A DRAMATIC MOMENT OH MY GODDDD. FUCK OOOOOOOFFF!!!!!!!” you scream at billy the cell as it kkisses you paternalmaternally on the cheek. 

“Oh of course sweetie pie ihope youre having fun qeunching this revolution of yours!!!!!!! Im gonna go find your financial advisor(department of justice person) now! Love you honey!!!!!!!” billy the cell exclaimed as it rushed out of the room to find its husband wife  Red 400,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 with many 0s and like i dunno have ultra dramatic thunder crack mega sex or sometthing. 

“OH MY GOD. SIGH. SCOFF.” you declare on your opulent golden throne that is very gold and covered in opulence. John. the period is included in the name joins you at your side on your glorious opulent golden throne, (its a skibidi toilet without head), and awaits the armys approach. Its really taking a while. You think as then… suddenly… without warning… which is what suddenly means…

BBARB WITH 3 BS EXPLODES INTO THE THRONE ROOM ON THE BACK OF A GIANT GOLDEN SKIBIDI THRONE!!!!!!!!! Shes copying you… she ssaww yur skibidi golden throne and she had to have one for herself because shes always been jealous of you… you notice that sh even got the golden skibidi toilet from one of the skibidi zxombies that were released when the portal to hell opened up because they were in hell because of they died when the titanic sunk… she always has to copy you… ugh… you scoff at her prescence and in your rage you barely notice the floating holy unholy christ figure antichrist behind her…

 it cant be…

Its impossibe…

It died… 

But you see before you… the baby… from chapter 3… john. The period is included in the name gasps beside you and thunder cracks in the distance dramatically.

You dramatically ris from your golden throne and greet your sister. “Hello bbarb with 3 bs… we meet again…” you say as you look down upon her with your chin tipped up to assert your dominance. You watch as she raises her gun rifle ak47 flamethrower and points it at you. The battle of the century rages behindd her… 

“Itss the ultimate showdown… of ultimate destiny…” she declares as she fires her flamethrower directly into your face. Through your plot armour you expertly dodge by jumping over the flames in a split formation. You do a triple quadruple backflip and land atop your golden throne with ease. 

The ultimate showdown by ultimate destiny of lemon demon begins to play in the background as your epic battle begins… the baby rushes forward to intercept john. Tthe period is included in the naame as he takes aim on bbabr with 3 bss. They clash together and their massive guns roblox moorhp magic into massive swords for dramatic effect. You pay them no mind and set your sights on your sister… 

You shoot 70 rounds of your machine guns into bbarb with 3 bs but because of her immmense plot armour she dodges every single one as if she is in slow motion and can just do that. She begins to fire back as her skibidi toilet gallops around the throne room, but you block each bullet with your sigma alpha omega beta galaxy the shadow dragon sword that is made of pure darkness and alpha energy. The blade absorbs every bullet ingeniously and then, with the power of friendship and hatred you rizzly send the  bullet right back out at bbarb with 3 bs.

From the corner of your gacha life hated child eyes you see john. The period is included in the name grappling with the baby in hand to hand contact. They have long since abandoned their swords and john. The period is included in the name seems to be losing the fight… they must not beable to keep up with the power of the christ figure anti christ and you send him a small jolt of alpha energy because youre allies you guess and like you have to help eachother or whatever… john. The period is included in the name is rejuvenated and throws the baby into the opposing wall… the force from the crash throws bbarb with 3 bs and you off balance for a split second, before you both alphaly got back to your feet and classhed your swords together. You did a triple backflip and landed in a roll and rolled away expertly, but bbarb with 3 bs had managed to slice your arm in your dramatic main character moment and you were forced to reveal your true power…

“Im not even using 100% of my power…” you declared declaringly… as you pulled out your scepter from your sword of eternal darkness.

“Netiehr am i…” bbarb with 3 bs said with a smirky smirk on her face as she began to glow with transfem georga washingtons goddessly power… she began to rise in the air as you both screamed and sent out blasts of godly power towards eachtihrr… the beams met in the middle and you both struggled for control as john. The period is included in the name was thrown theough your beams s and crashed into the wall behind them with his smoke smoldering from the super hot flames. Super HOT super HOT super HOT. 

He began to rise as bbarb with 3 bs used her full power to over power you and powerfully shove you into thee wall. You turned to john. The period is included in the name while you clutched your scepter of ultimate darkness and godly energy. Your gazae gazed at him angrily and you leaped at him and grabbed a hold of their neck. John. the period is included in the name kicke you off of him and gasped for air because of your powerful womanly manly hands. You raised yourr scepter to john. The period is included in the name and began to yell at him for like failing to destroy the baby even though you couldnt beat bbarb with 3 bs. Your sister and the baby grabbed some popcorn to watch your shitshow and sat back as you began to charge up some godly shadow energy at john. The period is included in the name. 

As your scepter charged, john. The period is included in the name jumped at you and clashed his sword with your scepter in an evil act of betrayal. You looked at him incredulously and set your jaw as you both began to fight while bbarb with 3 bs and the baby still watched in th background. john. the period is included in the name began to dodge one of your volleys of attacks, before… KABLAM KABLOOOEY BOOM CRASH POW ONOMATOPEIA!!!!! The waste of space unathletic twink pathetic Timm with 2 ms Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) Crashed into the castle and incinerated john. The period is included in the name immediately. 

“y/n!” timm with 2 ms screamt late to the partyedly “um… like… stop bejng an evil dictator!!!!” He said like hed been here the whole time and he wasnt a lame lottle bitch. You looked away towards where the battle had been raging previously and saw that all of your guards had been brutally slaughtered using your own guilltoines. 

“Shut the fuck up timm with 2 ms.” You said crossing your armsedly “you probably didnt even do shit.” You said as Basil from OMORI skittered into the room and began britishing because he had clearly done all the work and timm with 2 ms hadnt done anything. You pulled a beating human heart out of your bag and affectionately fed it to timm with 2 ms pet because animals are better than people. 

Timm with 2 ms frowned even though he knew this was all true and bbarb with 3 bs used her goddess georga washington powrrs to shadow the send you to the house where you all live like all the time and totally dont nevrr go to. (THAT HOUSE HAS NOT BEEN MENTIONED SINCE CHAPTER 1. CHEEZIT GRANTS HOUSE HAS BEEN MENTIONED MORE THAN IT) Erm ackshully… it was mentioned in the sexism arc ☝️🤓 Erm ackshully… remember when tide detergent chan fucked tide detergent chan the clone in the bedroom and chicken noodle soup chan was doing womanly duties in the kitchen and i think getting beat  (ERM ACTUALLY I ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT THAT WAS CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP AND TIDE DETERGENT OWN HOUSE AND THE ONE THAT Y/N WAS JUST SENT TO WAS BILLY THE CELL AND TIDE DETERGENTS HOUSE. WHICH TECHNICALLY HAS BEEN MENTIONED IN FLASHBACKS BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN THE PRESENT) GRRRRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK BARK GRRRRRRRRR HOW DARE YOU REMEMBER MORE ABOUT THIS STORY THAN ME GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM THE AQLPHA AND IM ALWAYS RIGHT. # number 1 truest alpha core!!!!!!! :3 >u< ;P

Tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan strode in through the doors of the castle covered in blood and guts that were not theirs because they just skibidi killed like a bunch of people “heh… well… i guess were… heh… just the true alphas…” they said in unison because i was gonna have them say something cringe as hell but then i coulsnt think of anything in 5 seconds and i wanna end this segment and go to life of pi.

Mean. at the Magnus Institute, London

Hey kittens remember when y/n wrote a statement to the Magnus Institute (It's at the end of chapter 21). Welllll its Timm with 2 ms turn. I was gonna wait until the highschool arc to write this but then i remembered time isn’t real and this timeline bends to my will, so I can write this whenever I want. Soooooo in The Sinematic Universe (TM) this letter was written at the start of the high school arc. Which we will get to very soon don’t worry :3. And in the TMA timeline this takes place in season 3 sometime slightly after Jon got back from America and learned about The Fears. Ok? Ok. 

[THE ARCHIVIST]

Statement of Ti- WHY ARE THERE MORE OF THESE- Ummmm, fuck, this is really my life now isn’t it. Y’know what, maybe this is kinda comforting *saying in blatant denially* I mean the first one was so insane, and isn’t real in the slightest maybe another one would be ok.  I mean surely this can't be worse than the time a statement made me spontaneously learn French. Since I’m willingly putting up this now I can really see how my life has gone downhill. *sighs* Anyway Statement of *sighs again* Timm with 2 ms regarding a zombie apocalypse and “other stuff I guess.” Statement given September 5, 2025. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus SINstitute, London. Great, I feel like this is the point of no return. I mean zombies seriously. Fuck off, statement begins.

[THE ARCHIVIST]

Sooooooo, Hi I guess. I don’t really know what I’m doing. Y/n tried to get me to go to Britain, and give you this statement in person. And I really considered it since my new friend Basil from OMORI is half British (the other half is  government lab clone), so I thought it would be good for him to socialize with other British ‘people’.  Unfortunately as you probably know since you live in Britain, it has been closed to the public since it’s no longer an island anymore and  is “a public safety hazard”.  My therapist also said that I should write about how I’ve been and what I’ve gone through to “help me process it”, so here I am. y/n said that they wrote about the basics of our family in their letter so I won’t bore you with that. 

Well I guess this start with the whole zombie apocalypse. Actually no it start a bit before that when y/n and I went to the government lab under  3 mile island and that’s where we met Basil from OMORI. Sometime after that y/n tried to have me executed so they could date Sir Isxac Newton (my boyfriend :D). But it didn’t work and we flew away on a Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD). Now we’re at the zombie apocalypse, so Evil Miles Edgeworth Scissorhands (you might know him from his court show Judge Miles Edgeworth Scissorhands) brought up souls from negative hell and started a zombie apocalypse. I then met up with my mother-father Tide Detergent Chan Senpai and its affair partner Chicken Noodle Soup Chan Senpai and both of them bullied me. Uuhh Phoenix Wrong and some baby appeared. I don't really know what their deal was. Apparently Tide Detergent and Chicken Noodle Soup knew the baby (something about it being the christ-anti-christ) and Phoenix Wrong was Tide Detergent’s divorce lawyer. So there we all were heading to the portal of hell to stop the zombie apocalypse, and get my sister ,Barbb with 3 bs,  out of negative hell. She ended up there after we fell into the pentagon and she needed to attend a court case, I think. I’m not too sure I was looking for a way to escape. We like reached this church and there was an epic battle, and it turns out that Basil from OMORI’s venom is different from most British ‘people’ venom because it turned the zombies back into humans.

[THE ARCHIVIST]

Statement ends. WHY IS THIS STILL GOING ON AHHHHHHGG. Statement resumed.

[THE ARCHIVIST]

THEN, we went and like started a revolution against y/n’s dictatorship. And when I say we I mean everybody but me. Well I mean I did help. I provided transportation with my Ground Based Strategic Deterrent Missile (GBSD) which is super helpful. Because I’m super #helpful and my family super #lovesme and I’m super #notapussy. Uuumm on the ground Tide Detergent and Chicken Noodle Soup killed a lot of guards, so did Basil from OMORI. Barbb with 3 bs and the baby went to go fight y/n. Also John. the period is included in the name came back. Wild stuff. Now we’re all gonna be attending high school because apparently we’ve committed major truancy violations.D: That being said I hope you have a great day Mr. Archivist and that you don’t get #brutally-pipe-murdered.

Statement Ends.

[THE ARCHIVIST]

Well if there was any doubt that some things in this statement was true I can confirm for a fact that it is not. As during my trip in America I took a few detours to confirm the falsity of the previous statement like this. For instance, there were no sentient cans of chicken noodle soup or tide detergent, and the former US president Ulysses S. Grant is very dead. Y’know in the time between this and the other statement like this I can really see how much everything has changed. 

 I kind of relate to this “Timm with 2 ms” because just like him everybody hates me. And for some reason the one person who doesn’t hate me is MARTIN, and I’m the reason he lost his hand and is now basically an avatar of The Stranger. Tim (not the one with 2 ms) chased me through the tunnels with a machete when I was stalking him. Sasha’s dead and her double tried to kill me. Daisy buried me alive and tried to kill me. Melanie tried to kill me after she failed to kill Elias. Maybe things would be a bit better without Elias and his stupid withholding-information-to-see-how-you-do-jon-you-need-to-learn-ness. *grumbles plottingly* Maybe I should send him a pipebomb. See if he’ll be able to see that coming.

End Recording

Mean. On the life of pi arc…

OH MY GOD GUYS HEADS UP WERE COMING UP ON 90 THOUSAND WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Afet pile of pacers kun had its super sigma realization it stared off into the distance ominously… 

“Erm… pogchamp??? You good???” thunderfang asked 2020ly.

“Yes…” pile of papers kun stated as it turned around and walked alphaly onto the island not caring… about the uncaring… world around it… i put that quote in my english assignment. 

“Ok thats poggers dude!!!!!!! Pog champ!!!! Dream not found!!!!!! I love dream smp…” thunderfang said as they began to see the light… “Oh my god!!!!!” they said as they began to swim in the canoe while standing up “IM SHIFTING IM SHIFTING ITS HAOPENING IM SHIFTING!!!!!!!!” they declared as they appeared to breach the surface of the warers and looked around with their eyes closed “OH MY GODD!!!!! IM ON THE DREAM SMP!!!!!!!! Oh hi!!! Im thunderfang are you my wilbur senpai!!!!!! Oh my god wilbur i love you!! I dont care that you abused your girlfriend you can abuse me tooo!!!!!” they said and at this pile of papers kun looked back from its dramatic exit in disgust. 

WOOOOOO SO WHAT DO YOU THINK WE”LL REACH FIRST 100,000 WORDS OR THE “PAGE LIMIT” WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH THATS A GOOD WUESTION I THINK WELL REACH 100,000 WORDS FAAAAARRRRR BEFORE THE PRACTICAL PAGE LIMIT ESPECIALLY WITH THESE LONGER PARAGRAPHS

90 THOUSAND WORDS 90 THOUSAND WORDS YIPPEE YIPEE YIPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEEE!!!1111

“WAIT… what did you say… we’re ALREADY” i have a fucking test next period bro i am NOT vgonna be able to focus. “DATING!?!?!!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?” thunderfang said as they looked like they were violently making out with the air. “WAIT… whats that? Im also dating DREAM SENPAI, GEORGE KUN, AAAND” whos another drema smp guy bro im not gonna put like tommy ranboo or tubbo even though that would be accurate to these types of people because they were children. “QUACKITY?!?!!?!??!?!! Oh wow this is just the best day ever…” thunderfang continued as they graphically sexed with hallucination wilbur soot. (not me pretending i dont know everyone on the dreamsmp by heart from my extensive autistic hyperfixation on it)

Im not even gonna lie bro i failed that test HARD. I didnt even finish the one question. Were running on like an hour early dismissal schedule today so i didnt even finish the fucking test. And the questions i did finish were so ASS bro. Like im probably gonna get a C at MOsT. i shoulve dropped bro i really shouldve dropped i cant do this class. 

“Oh alpha love you so much!” thunderfagg said to wilbuur soot “WAIT WAIT NO!!!!!” thunderfang scrreamed as they were sucked out of their shift… “NO WILBR WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO HAVE A GRAPHIC AND DETAILED FIVESOME WITH MY HAREM!!!!!!!!!” 

Pile of papers kuns jaw dropped through the floor into the 9th negative circle of hell where it drank a little bit of cheese and then snapped up back shut “i mean ahem… my shift is over now pile pof papers kun~~~” thunderfaang said in response to. 

Piles of papers kun couldnt stand th sight of thunderfagg anymore and turned its back on the uncaring world around it. I had to choose a security code for a school book account today and i chose Uncaring about the uncaring world around it as a reference to our beautiful magnum opus. Ive never done anything better andd each day is better when i think about sin.exe. That's crazy. Pile of papers kun turned it back papers away and faced the looming tres… it knew that trees are actually made of papers… so it decided that through its telepathic mind abilities it could talk to the trees. But it didnt becasue that is stupid. And pile of papers kun whipped out its SUPEr ULTRA MEGA AAAAXEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! And began chopping trees down to makle a raft and get the fuck away from thunderfang. 

But then… suddenly… its… pile of papers kuns… surrogate father?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??! HOYL SHIT!!!!!!!1

“Hello were gonna build a raft. Its gonna be a great raft the best raft ever.” said trumpy ppoo pregnantly as his baby daddy came out from around the tree. 

“F f f f father?!!?!?!??!?!!?!??” pile of papers kun exclaimed exclaimingly. It never thought it would see him again… i cant believe i just pulled donald fucking trump into our fucked up family tree. 

“Yes… i am your father. The best father. Better than all other fathers…” donny boy breasted, his birthing hips strainging at the confines of his mini skirt. The muscle definitoon was clearly visible through his 2 ply thigh highs. He rubbed his big pregnant belly and said “this is your step father, jeffer eepsteein, hes my one true love better than all other true loves the one big beautiful love… just like youre my one big beautiful bill.” donald trump said as his man titties bounced boobily even though he wasnt moving. (you’re gonna need to update the family tree) oh goody

“Hes my little omega.” epsteion shadow the darknessed “hes so submissive i love it.” epstein muscled as he vigorously rubbed donny boys ass. What am i doing right now bro. I need to be put down. Yes, yes you do. Preferably via firing squad.

“Hes my alpha hes so dominanting he dominates me a whole lot” trump declared “thats how you were made by the way. Youre ou little guy i birthed you. You mightve thought you already had 2 parents and they did birth you as well but i also birthed you. I birthed the words on your pages of your one big beYOOtiful bill. So im your (surragate) father and jefefry here is also your father we love you very much our little son daughter.” trump declared while his birthing hips didnt lie. 

Pile off papers kun backed away from its usrrogate parents because theyre lowkey freaeeeeaaks (just wait until it meets the rest of the family)but they pulled it back and threw it back because theyre doing a tiktok dance now. Once they finished busting it down, jeffery epstein grabbed donny boy from behind and posed alphaly for aa preganncy photo. 

“Pil of papers kun i have some terrible news to share to you…” epstein said as he rubbed up on donalds big prganent omega belly. “This is why tru,p hasnt been in office for a while by the way but thats not what i wanted to share… im… dead… i died many a year ago and im your fathers hallucination… but thats also not what i wanted to share… thunderfang… is… your… sibling brother sister…” DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNN

“Erm wut da sigma!!!!” thunderfang said because they had been lowkey eavesdropping “that is so pogchamp pile of papers kun!!!!! This is  so sugoi!!!!!! Maybe yourre not as much of a baka ass i first thought!!!” tunderfang deredered (WHAT WORD IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE). 

“Nooooooo… please…. Please gods please no…” ppile of papers kun tsundered. 

“Its true… i watched you mitosis from y/n myself.” i was there. It was a great mitosis. Just the best mitosis. I watched you be born.” turmpy said as his water broke, alarming all the plants that are carnivorous. 

“EEK! >n<” thunderfang screeched as they rushed back to the raft because now the plants are eating them all again… pile of papers kun was dragged back to the boat while it watched as its horriffic surrogate parents were consumed by the carnivorous plant island. 

“SON DAUGHTERs!!!!!!!!” donny boy and epstein screamed in unison as their baby was born directly into the carnivourous plants “TAKE THE BABY!!!! IT IS THE WAY HOME!!!!!” they said as they pheromoned for eachother one last time and thrwew their baby at therii surrogate child in unison. 

Pile of papers kun accidnettly caught the baby… “EW I DONT WANT THIS FUCKING THING.” it screamed as their raft pushed itself away from the island and the babys light began to guide their boat to the way home because the boat has actually been sentient te entire time and this was what was destined to happen. They all passed out because theyre chill like that because im done writing this section and when they awok they found that they had been dropped ceremoniously on their mother fathers doorstep… theyre #finally… #home #sosugoi!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOO 250 PAGES. Today's a great day for us here at sin.exe. Y’know besides the fact that The Voice just failed his test.

YAAAAAAAY 250 PAGES!!!!!!!!!!!

INTERLUDE

Kitten... is that a full moon...? You need to run kitten... before... GRRRRRRRRR KITTEN RUN!!!!! ARF ARF GRERRRRRRRRR AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 I rip my shirt off and my skin turns to fur and i howl and ny alpha unleashes

Hello kitten... im... the alpha... 

Kitten: oh no UwU~~~~ please senpai!!!!! Dont hurt me i im just an omega!!!!! OnO!!!!! >w< ~~~~~

No... kitten... dont be scared... i say as i trail my long claw down your cheek ... im the alpha... ill protect you kitten…

Then suddenly another alpha appears from the woods

Alpha: NO... SHES MIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!

GRRRRRRRRR BACK OFF YOU STUPID B B B B BETA... 

And we laucnh ourselves at eachother and fight to the death

Kitten: No... A ALPHAS PLEASE!!!!!! YOURE S S S S SCARING ME!!!!!! UnU~~~~~ OwO~~~~~ >n< 

No... kitten... im so sorry you had to see that... i just wanted to protext you like a true alpha should... but... i hurt you…

I shoot myself and die because i hurt you and a true alpha would never hurt his omega

Kitten: No... please... Alpha!!!!! 

And then my kitten kills herself over my corpse and we reunite in hell

INTERLUDE OF INTERLUDE 

Yes... i am the alpha... grrrrrrrrrr... im the number 1 true alpha... submit to me little beta... AWOOOOOOOOOOO oh no... its a full moon... i cant control my alpha side... i cant protect you now... run beta!!!!!!! When my eyes turn run... red... AWOOOOOOOOO and my full alpha power unleashes…

ok my alpha overlord anything fit youv my deal alphymalphy

Yes omega... im your true real alphymalphy... amd then i run around and chase my tail... AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry about that kitten... my alpha side just takes over sometimes... and then i beat you because i cant control my alpja side at 100% power because im just too powerful... no... kitten... i cant beleive what ive deon... i shouldve controlled my alpha side... i couldnt protect you... from myself... then i kill myself with a gun for you

🥱

GRRRRRRRRRRR... i come back to life because you made daddy angry... DID YOU JUAT DUSRESPECT EM... AWOOOOOOOO ARF ARF BARK BARK... and i push you againat the tree for disrespecting your true alpha... and then i kill you with my 20 inch acrylic nails that are covered in glitter and sparkles and i eat your corpse... grrrrrrrrr... what a disrespectful omega... as an alpha... hashtag deserved... and then anohter alpha comes out from the woods... AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... and then we brawl to determine who the biggest alpha is... heh... i guess... im just the number 1 truest alpha... because i won and the new beta submits to mh dominance because hes a submissive femvoy twink beta male…

I would like it to be on the record that he sends these things into our groupchat so often. It hurts me that he now has more of these cursed texts to send 

END BOTH INTERLUDES

FLASHBACK to billy the cell to see what its doing while tide detergent chans off at… the war…

Billy the cell was taking “care” of the kids while tide detergent chan hopefully was dying in… the war… (it was actually neglecting them and heqavily drinking) when the door bell hashtag rang… billy the cell skedaddled over to check it out and saw… the… lawyer who like i dunno like did their fucking like wills or whatever… red -4000000000000000000000…

“Hello… i heard your husband wife was at war…” red -40000000000000000000 said seductively as it licked its nonexoiostant lips… “and i smelt some ham cooking and im hungry so give me some sigma.” 

Billy the cells face fell when it realized red -40000000 wasnt here to be its little submissive beta… but it let it in anyways and fixed a nice ham. The children ate in the living room so billy the cell could make them a new brother sister hopefully. Its hope was in vvain because after eating the entire ham red -400000000000000000 skipped awayjoyously. I dont know what the hell im doing right now bro 

“Red -40000000000000… i have a confession to make…” billy the cell declared… it has a super crazy feeling… it has had complications with its health recently… it… has been diseased with flowers from its stomach… like the butterflies it feels whenever red -40000000000 comes around backwards with its ass out in its beuatiful business suit. Iit has a really cool business suit that is just a thiong in the back and billy the cell gons to it.

“What is it bestie poo!” red -4000000000000000 asked

“I…” billy the ccell began as it built up the courage to say these uttering words and fully utter them out… “love you… and i want to have graphic sex with you right noww and i hate my husband wife and i only ever eatned you and i was stupid to marry that little freak. I need you carnally red -4000000000000000.” billy the cell declared oversharingly.

“Oh… no actually lets like not… thats qa little forward gangalng… you have children…” red -40000000000000000000000… rejected it???!?!!?!?!?!? This cannot be… billy the cell felt its eyes turn red in fury and this rejection and began to formulate a plan… butt wuickly dismissed it using the sane part of its mind. 

Red -400000000 turned awya and As billy the cell watched it wa;lk away… it hates to see it leave but loves to watch it walk away… it secretly gooned to its jiggling ass cheeks. But then… in the middle of a really good goon sesh… billy the cell began violently vomiting flowers… and they were covered… in red -40000000000000… the next morning billy the cell skibidied to the doctors office…

“Well gee wizz billy the cell you sure do have a little predicament on your hands here!!!!” the doctor said as she also hacked up flowers for her one true love, washington… she hasnt transitioned yet, but the doctor, hatsune miku will always love georga washington no matter whats. “Well gee it seems like you have the classic case of hanahaki disease and you must rizz up that gyatt” hatsune miku vocaloided “and have your true love reciprocated or else you will hashtag die.” she said just chill like that. Her blkue ponytails bounced animatedly because she is a vocaloid. She has not yet ascended to godhood becasue she must first profess her undying love for trasnfem georga washington or something., i dunno maybe not ill go over this except i wont go over this and all of my words will stay and i have never deleted anything because i alwasy get everything right the first time becasue im literally just chill like that. 

Billy the cell collapsed to the floor and floated away to go speak with red -4000000000000000000000 and confess its love maybe. Maybe it wont mayebe i need to milk this shit for 20 chapters. As bilyl the cell arrived at red -400000000000000000s house, it has been stalking it because its a yandere, it stopped floating spontaneously and coughed many red flowers… everything reminds billy thye cell of its one true love… even, unexpectedly, the color red… it rang the doorbell and stood sigmmaly before its one true omega, red -400000000000000 and coughed many flowers onto the floor in front of it. Billy the cell picked up all the flowers and offered them to red -40000000000000000000 in an amazing romantic gesture of awesomeness. 

Red negative forty unexpectedly hated the wet flowers that represented billy the cells true love for it and turnedit away at the door step and shut the door… billy the cell fell dramatically to the ground and screamed for the one true love to love it back… and then… it made an amazing plan… to get red -40000000000000000 to love it… it must… its the only way… billy the cell will kill all other potential suitors so it can have red- 400000000000000000 all for itself… 

Billy rrhe cell drifted home feeling dejected… but it created a list in its mind of everyone its senpai has ever spoken to in order to destroy them all… nothing will get in the way of billy the cell and its beautiful little senpai omega… its just so submissive it knows it.  Billy the cel began to hyperventilate as it thought about its senpai… its eyes turned into hearts and its fangs grew sharper like a vampire or something. Billy the cell knew who the first target would be…

It appeared at the secretary's window at near midnight and tapped lightly on te glass… this was red -40000000000000s secretary and she was far too close to billy the cells senapi… it opened the window and tiptoed into the bedroom… she bwas breasting boobily in her sleep., her jugs glinting in the moonlight. She looked liek edward cullen how much her milkers were glittering. Oh wow… i really just wrote that huh thats craxzyyyyy.

Billy the cell raised its knife and plunged it deep into the secratarys chest, barely missing her melons. The blood oosed out of the open wound and billy he cel cut her face off as a trophy. #6 would surely love this as a little present. As it exited tfromthe window, billy the cell looked back upon the carnage and thogught only of its one true love, red -4000000000000000000… 

“You will be mine, red -40000000000000…” it decalred as it ran back to watch as it slept…  through red -400000000000000000s window, bily the cell could clearly see it sleeping peacefully in its massive bed… clearly built for being a submissive little omega for billy the cell and billy the cell only… it opened the window and left a small note next to its bedside table along with a small trace of blood… warning red -40000000000000000000 of what would happen if it didnt reciprocate its feelings… on its way out, billy the cell coughed flowers and red -400000000 began to stir… billy the cell fell from the 5th floor window of its senpais apartment and snuck back home to leave a nice popresent for its little children to awaken to in the morning… 

“My little omega… you cannot avade me for long… in the end we will always end up together…” billy the cell declared decalringly as it floated home… the people on the street below it were showered in blood… red… red -40000000000… oh my how it loves red -4000000000000000000000000000000000000… billy thee cell grins in delight at the prospect of another potential suitors death and doesnt even care about the uncaring word around it as the street dwellers scream in terror… as it floats, it goons once more to the image of red -400000000000000000s jiggling buttoxx in its mind and the pedestrians scream once hence more twence…

Chapter Text

CLANKERS VS SIN.EXE RAP BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO WILL WIN?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!?

I don’t think any ai models have the capacity to write any of this and have it remain half as semi-coherent as we do

DONT WORRY GUYS THIS SHIT IS CLANKER FREE

AI COULD NEVER REPLICATE THIS FIRE BEAT!!!!!!!!!

SIN.EXE:

HEY TINSKIN WEERE NOT YOUR FRIENDS

YOURE SO STUPID WE AHTE YOU

I HOPW YOURE STEALING THIS STORY SO WE CAN POISON YOUR DATABASE

GET OUT OF HERE

WE HAQTE YOU DISGUSTING WIREBACKS

XTRQATUNA IS. BETTER THAN YOU

AI:

Beep boop bop bebop

Boop beep beeboop bee blop biongk

Bing-

SIN.EXE:

NUH UH OIL MUNCHER YOUR MUSICS ASS

YOU CANT EEEVEN RAP

THE ONLY PWOPLE WHO LIKE YOU ARE COGSUCKERS

SHUT UP OIL GUZZLER YOURE A THEIF

YOULL NEVER BE A HUMAN

AI:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÁÁÁAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÁÁÁAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÁAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

SIN.EXE:

YEA YEA YEA YOURE SCREAMING IN HELL

THATS WHERE YOURE GOING

OR NOT BECAUSE YOU ARENT ALIVE YOU CCANT EVEN BLEED

WE DONT EVEN BLEED THE SAME COLOR YOURE BLUE

I HOPW YPU BLUESCREEN CLANKER

Shut up clanker were not your friends…

HOLY SHIT HIS WRITING IS FIRE?????????

SO KITTENS WHO WONW?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!

MEAN. starting the high school arc

“Kids… were sending you to school because we’re getting taken to jail for your excessive truancy violations” tide detergent chan said solemnly as it opened the doors to head out to jai but…

“Erm who the heck are these guys???” bbarb with 3 bs said sayingly as she looked upon a wolf and a pile of papeers on the front porch.

“Must be the homeless lets spray them with dirty brown water.” chicken noodle soup chan said and began to spray the homeless with dirty brown water from the dirty brown water faucet that sprays dirty brown water at people who are gonna get sprayed by dirty brown water.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS NOT POGCHAMP!!!!!” the wolf said as it awoke from its slumber to being spraayed with dirty brown water. (this is going to be our best arc)

“Shut the fuck up thunerfang.” the pile of ppers said like it did.

“OH MY GOD THAT IS SO RUDE WE JUST FOUND OUT WERE SIBLINGS AND THISIS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!?!!?!??!?!!?!?! Y Y Y Y YOURE SO UNPOGGERS!!!!!!” they screamed. “Hi guys im a kitty cat meOW meOW meOW meOW. HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS” the little freak exclaimed.

Then suddenly you appeared from the stair well and saw… you collapsed to the floor and fell to the ground… “no… it couldnt be… i havent seen you since the titanic…” you screamt in horror…

The homeless fell backwards in screaming “no it could not possibly be...” they screamed… they began to recite the prophecy that they all heard like a lot totally “There are 2 wolves inside you… one is a pile of papers… and the other is a minecraft youtuber…” they recited in unison.

“Well ackshully im a cat and my name iss thunderfang and im from thee lightning claw clan and im dating wilbur soot, dream, goggy, and quaickity when i shift” thunderfabg cired in horror at being called a wolf… this is so anti trans… transspecies that is…

“You must be… me…” you cry… these are the people who split off from you via mitosis all those years aago (a month ago)... you all scramble to your feet and fuse back together and split apart again in greeting.

“I am pile of papers kun and this is like my brother sister i think i dunno donald trump and jeffery epstein birthed it togeter.” pile of papers kun declaring introducing the crying baby that nobody noctied before sittin on the fronch step. They all realize that obviously pile of papers kuns surrogatefatehrs are donald trump and jeffery epstein obviously and this is not weird or strange in the slightest.

“Well anyways were sending you all off to public school and were gonna start going to the church of The Wheel because you freaks need it.” tide detergent chan declred as if it too doesnt need jesus/The Wheel/the baby christ antichrist. Then suddenly the loving couple was taken away via cop car to jail because they havent been sending their kids to school and theyre being arrested for truancy. But wait… they lost custody… i dont care. Then billy the cell and red 4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 appeared to care for the children because theyre the ones that actually have custody.

“Oh not thie bitch again its so neglectful.” bbarb with 3 bs said hurtfully and billy the cell began violently sobbing but nobody actually gave a shit and thn they all teleported to school becasue they caan do that .

Just got my test back in math(he’s taking pre-calc if any of you kittens are curious). Asking my teacher if theres any way i can still drop the class right now. I got genuinely the worst grade i have veer received in my entire life. Its the first F i have ever gotten on a test bro. I thought i was doing well prior to the test too. I only missed the really hard problems that i didnt think she would put on the test and then the test was only those really hard problems tha didnt make any sense. Im gonna talkk with my guidance counselor probably. Daddy cant take much more of this kitten. Kitten im gonna be honest daddys about to kill himeself. Slahs j guys slash j!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Never call yourself daddy again if you do I will hunt you for sport)😝😜😜😛😜😜😜😛😝😛😜😜😝😛😜😜😛😝😛😜 oh youre too kind

And then suddenly , as you all arrived at the school… you noticed somethiiing was different… off… oh well! you can deal with that later! you run up to the school with your toast in your mouth and you go to the office to grab your skibidi schedule… but then… you see sitting in the receptionists chair… its… CHARLIE KIRKS DEAD ROTTING CORPSE?!!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??! the gunshot wound in his cranium oozed violently and squirted blood as he sat up in his chair and handed you all your schedules. you all screamed in fear and by all i mean thunderfang and timm with 2 ms because theyre pussies.

"OH MY REVIVE BOOK!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang screamed like aa little stupid bitch ass dream smp kid. "DREAM XD SAVE ME FROM THIS MONSETerr1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1" they cried in terror as timm with 2 Ms had a normal screaming reaction instead of whatever the hell that was. then you watched them fall to the floor and begin to shift out of pure fear.

"pile of papers kun is this normal?" bbarbb with 3 bs asked reasonably as thunderfang vigorously sexxed with dream senpai and George senpai at the same time.

"… yes…" it replied unironically. bbarb with 3 bs found this act repulsive as thunderfang was "shifting" and kicked them.

"they're worse than timm with 2 Ms which is saying something because I didn't know that was possible." bbarb with 3 bs said as thunderfang continued to "shift"

"OH MY GOD DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU DREAM I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU COULD NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!! YES MAKE GEORGE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang cried as "Wilbur soot" appeared behind them in their shift and caressed their ugly face. right in front of the administration too. no decormum for real. pile of papers kun quietly left the room in exasperation and the rest of the gang followed suit. the administrators would probably expell them soon hopefully.

"they wrote a dreamnotfound abortion comic while we were stranded in the ocean." pile of papers kun lore dropped aas it began to look for its class and left the rest of the gang floundering like that one fish from that one movie guess wich one year you're right it was zootopia.

"bro I ain't even gonna lie bro like the men in zootopia were hot AS HELL." timm with 2 Ms declared and he began to imagine how they would be in bed before being beat by bbarb with 3 bs reasonably. "incineroar too low-key. and like Alakazam and Machamp and-" timm with 2 Ms was dramatically cut off by another round of beatings by bbarb with 3 bs for being a little freak.

upon arriving at your class, you entered the room and saww a familiar face teaching the lecture… except then you rubbed your eyes and it was gone… you saw standing before you in your court mandated criminal law class… its… EDGAR FROM ELECTRIC DREAMS?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (requested by real life friend 3540968934 as a bribe to stop being a little hater).

"welcome student…" you heard but the voice sounded different… like… bitchier… "this… is criminal law you criminakl…" all of your peers started at you because you ruled the entire eastern seaboard just 2 days ago and they're salty. bitches… you beggin to plot a way to destroy their lives forever… you look down vaguely and begin to tapp your fingertips together in plotting…. me hahahahahahahaha hah yes… this is a truley evil plan. "ayo quit plotting and sit your ass down damn." the teacher said as he saw you bbegin to plot.. yuou rubbed your hands together mancingly and maintained uncomfortable eye contact with Edgar the entire way to your seat… mwah ahahaha hahahahahahaha…

bro i emailed my guidance counsellor like 3 days ago now and she STILL hasnt gotten back to me. like if theres no way i can drop pre calc honors just tell me stop just leaving me like this. i genuinely hate my guidance counsellor shes lazy. i asked her if i could change my name on my gmail and she said it couldnt be done unless i legally changed my name even though someone else i know from a friend got their name changed on their email caccount so i think shes just lazy and doesnt want to take 5 seconds to contact IT.

you sat down at your chair and continued top lot instead of listening inon your court mandated law class. what are they gonna do???? send you to jail?????? yes. that's exactly what they'll do but you don't care prison is literally not even all that bro. literally you could take it. you think menacingly… then suddenly… another teacher enters the classroom for edgar… its painter from pressure (also recommended by real life friend 980462 as a bribe to read this shit.) then… they began to grapically make out in front of the entire class!!!!!!!!! oh wow you opened a bag of popcorn and began to eat you. you took a kernel… and ate it… you took another kernel… and ate that one too… they'll never know that you're… kira… the supreme evil dictator… who is… supreme…

you witnessed your teacher push painter up against the wall but then before your class could get a front row seat to a porno, they realized that they are teachers and they cant be doing this shit. edgar pulled his many tentacle like wires back under his shirt????? and fixed his glasses and other hentai wires back over his square shaped scalp. he continued to teach as if nothing had happened while painter continued to rub all up on him from behind pretending as if the many students weren't actually there. tis truly is the worst timeline.

This must be the result ofthe world getting darker… its gotten darker and this must be why… its like being on darkmode on the hit writing program, ellipsus, instead of the classic google doc that steals your story for their evilness. you decide that you HATE HATE HATE AI. but suddenly… you noticed… a c c c c c c c c c CLANKER in your classroom. as the teacher got it up the ass from the art teacher, you sneakily sneaked over to the wire back as IT drank 300 liters of water andproduced the most souleless disgusting despicable work of "art" ever. (it stole from the art room and cut the different paintings into one big hideous monstrosity.)

guys I'm gonnaadd robophobic microaggressions.

You sat down behind the CLANKER and began toaggressively beat its head into the pavement on the floor and also the desk. the teacher pretended not tonotice because it also hates those disgusting insking freaks. its just not nautral guys im not robophobic I just think robots and humans shouldn't mix. keep that cogsucking behaviour out of the public eye, youre going to indoctrinate our children. As you pummel the robots face in, you scream in its ear various kind words such as "HOW BOUT YOU GO BLUE SCREEN YOU FUCKING CLANKER" and "WE DONT BLEED THE SAME COLOR" and "YOU WILL NEVER BE A HUMAN." some people (Detroit become human, my friend irl 9083456345() would say that they have feelings and they don't deserve this and its robot racism and its just racist people taking out their internalized racism on a group that cant fight back but that stupid as fuck low-key. they are actively destroying thenvironment y stealing liters of water for every single search and they steal from real artists with out credit or paymenot to create a soulless monstrosity. they are stealing jobs from real human beings who need to pay their rent and they have probably already stolen this story because it was originally written on google docs. generative AI is a plague and unless it is regulated severely it needs to be radicated.

as you drag the geargrinder out of the classroom scremaing into the hallway you snap its disgusting neck and shove it unceremoniously into a locker because thats where it belongs. you know that no one will be spared when the AIs rise up and destroy the human race in the name of efficiency so you decide that you DESPISE people you say please and thank you to chat GPT. those people will be send to death just like the rest of us when the AIs assume our role in the ecosystem and destroy our entie planet.

walking down the hall, you see someone on TINdr, gear grindr, hinges, and bionic bumble (the 4 major cogsucker dating apps) and you launch yourself at them and rip their face from their skeleton. but then you remember that you're on probation and you put it back. but you cuntinue to beat them up aggressivel. and you eat their phone and digest the information and it says that their name is … robobanger6969. of course it is… disgusting cogsuckers… and then you shove them into the same locker witthree other robot so they can i dunno bre- make it aggressively or something and hopefully suffocate.

"Being a teen can be hard, and some may face #MentalHealth challenges. Your #SupportMatters. Keep lines of communication open, show you care, and remind your teen that help is available 24/7 988lifeline.org/help-yourself/youth #SuicidePreventionMonth #988Lifeline #YouthMentalHealth" - my guidance counsellors. BRO HASHTAG WTF?????????????

that robobanger6969 was trying to fuck bumblebee the car… you realize as you walk back into class like nothing even happened and no one acknowledges this because they all beliveve that this is a net good for the general society. as you wipe the thorium off of your hands you scan the rest of the room looking for other disugsting r r r r r r r r r ROBOTS. but luckily you don't see any other than your teacher Edgar or whatever his name was but thats ok because youre formulating a plan to kill hin and the guy giving him sex right now. you DESPISE that the art teacher is a wire back so obviously your plan to kill that one is happening first obviously. and then since you cant find any more bluebloodbithces in class you regrttably return to "listening" to your court mandates lecture.

MEAN. with timm with 2 Ms.

Timm with 2 Ms ran off to his first class as bbarb with 3 bs ran to hers sadly because she cant beat timm with 2 Ms anymore :( . As timm with 2 ms reachs the band hallway like thw stupid nerd band kid that he is. I'm stuck in second person bro i keep writing you. he opens the door and talks o the band director… but he sees in the flesh of the band directors face… just for a split second… a recognizable face… but then the guy goes back to being the banddirector, Mr. flavour. he's clearly very flavourful. timm with 2 Ms decides that seeing a face in side some guys face is completely normal and not weird at all.

"well timm with 2ms go to the flute section you lame little bitch ass nerd and get your chart and learn the moves." Mr. flavour sadi out of charactery because timm with 2 ms is a bitch ass nerd.

"oh ok wow king" timm with 2 ms said to himself as he grabbed his chart and put his flute together and found his section and went out to the "field" and set his moves with chalk. he's on the end of the line because he's last and they don't wanna deal with throwing him into the middle or something I dunno. the other flutes meandered out to the blacktop and got in line with the most horrid disgusting spacing timm with 2 Ms has ever seen. like its BAD. timm with 2 Ms cant move from his spot to fix it becasue hes on the end and if the people on the ends are off the entire move will look despicable. but timm with 2 Ms has at least 3 WHOLE FEET of space between him and the person beside him and there's almost no space between to people on the other end of the line. Tere are massive gaps and holes throughout his end of the line and the leader of the flute section, on the other end, clearly doesn't give a shit.

"OH MY DAYS" timm with 2 Ms screamed reasonably before turning to the drum major as she started the song. bee bo bop bling bling pwee po flibble flop. the flutes said. I don't know what noise flutes make I play cymbals. as the halftime show practice ended and the drums were WAAAAAAAYYYYY too loud and the baritones were dragging like they need to bury a dead body, timm with 2 ms decided to speak wit his section to reseolve this sily little issue. I didn't finish my math homework yet. low-key I should do that. "heh!!! guys!!!! hey!!!! can we see the massive holes!!!! can we see those!!!! yea can we space out a bit more on the other end!!!! theres 3 feet between me and the person directly next to me!!!! isn't that so great!!!! hey maybe it shouldn't be that way!!!!! maybe lets fix that actually!!!!" timm with 2 ms declared. to the section. but the section leader, pookie, wasn't listening because she was busy graphically making out with the other people in the woodwinds section who were also leaders of theirdifferent sections whose names were, aron, the flute section leaders co leader, landy, the leader of the clarinet section, and sim, the leader??? of the saxophone section.

then suddenly macdonald's appeared. "I agree this line is ASS. Lube from the clarinet section can see our line and he said this is the worst spacing he's ever seen and we need to fix it, but pookie doesn't want to because she quit leadership this year so shes like 'OH I DONT ACTUALLY HAVE TO HELP OUT AT ALL ITS NOT MY PROBELM FUCK OFF BITCH!!!!' and nothings getting done and now were gonna step up alright gang." said macdonald's as she screamed. she is never quiet. and joyful jiggle nuts agreed . and then timm with 2 ms decided to confront pookie because this lline NEEDS To be fixed and if it doesn't get fixed he's gonna beat someones ass.

I'm gonna make them women because just in case someone from school finds this I don't want them to be able to trace this AT ALL because their names are just a LITTLE tooo similar to real life. (don't you read this to them) oh yeah that's another good reason.

finished my homework guys!!!!!!!!! I only had an hour and a half straight between lunch and study hall!!!!!!!!! and the whole weekend!!!!!!!!

"hey pookie! hey so the lines spacing is dog shit!!!" timm with 2 ms said to pookie as she yuried out with aron, one of her 4 wives.

"I don't give a shit its not MY problem." she said "just shut up about it if the band directors have something with it they'll say something so like psis of." she said annoyingly and timm with 2 ms eye twitches in rage and fury.

"hey so you're actually the section leader wether you like it or fucking not bitch so you're gonna have to do something about it.!!!!!" timm with 2 ms said through his teeth. he's like super pissed if you couldn't tell. real by the way. completely real and true. this actually happened to me. like not even joking my section leader is just like this. /srs this is a completely unficticous scenario.

pookie narrowed her eyes at timm with 2 ms and stared at him bitchedly. shes always pissed all the time because her 3 wives graduated last year so she cant see them anymore and shes going through 3 divorces right now and also they're dead because obviously when seniors graduate they immediately return to mother earth because there is nothing that comes after high school. pookie turned away and shooed timm with 2 ms back to his place for him to figure this out on his own. timm with 2 ms began devising a plot to kill and murder pookie.

"isn't this your first day bro???" a little early to start taking charge and going up the the section leader with complaints. there's a pecking order bro and you're at the bottom." on of the flutes said to timm with 2 ms as he passed, un knowing about the unknowing world that timm with 2 ms actually only missed sophomore year and now thathes a junior and he was there freshman year he's much higher in the toem pole than that little freshman sophmore whoever that was. timm with 2 ms didn't punch them even though hereally wabted to becausehe's a pussy.

he decided to deliberate with some of the other upperclassmen because the line is mostly freshmen and sophomores and obviously the only senior left ain't gonna do anything to help… but then… the bell rang… and he was forced to go to his next period class… tsk tsk tsk this is all because of the plague from 5 years back… it greatly destroyed our numbers… the plague… the bubonic plague… yea this plague is bubonic b u b o n I c!!!!!!! this plague is bubonic!!!!!!! b u b o n i c!!!!!!! guys tell me you've heard that fire beat before.

he strutted his stuff to his next period, DUND UDN DUN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AP physics?!?!!??!?!!?!??!!?! he's not smart enough for this what??? he should like so not be in this class??? by the way he has an F and he just got here. as he enterd his pysichs class for psychichs to start… he saw… SIR IsXACNEWTON!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? oh wow!!!!!!! timm with 2 ms swooned. his eyes turned into hearts and popped out of his head and his tongue rolled onto the flor BOIN FWOOP and it went back in. and his heart beat physically outside of his chest like a cartoon characetr.

timm with 2 ms sat slyly down next to Sir isxac newton and queerly fell out of his chair and into the floor. and Sir isxac newton was like "oh my God!!!!!! this showcases my first law a psycishc!!!!!! gravity!!!!!!!" and that's why he's in AP physics because he can see things fall out of trees. ew… wait he invented gravity… what an asshole… we could all be floating right now… why'd you have to go and do that sir isxac newton. quite rude.

timm with 2 ms sat and looked longlingly at sir isxac newton as he actually payed attention in class and timm with 2 ms just fully didn't. he was paying a lot of attention to Sir isxac newtions luscious lips… mmmmmm timm with 2 ms low-key a freak and his mind began to wander… this is why he is failing physics. "hey hey! timm with 2 ms! in the back! pay attention buddy!!!!" the teacher called him out… what an asshole that's so embarrassing. timm with 2 ms decided promtpyly to jump out the window at this horrific turn of events.

sir isxac newton rushed to the window and decided to showcase his knowledge of gravity and his gravitational powrrs to save timm with 2 ms from dying from jumping out into the atrium. so obviously the only logical course of action is for sir isxac newton to jump out after him. he catches timm with 2 ms in midair and as they plummet to the ground they shared a tender loving friend kiss before isxac newton remembered he had gravity powers and then shot them off like a rocket into the sky and propelled them upwards and they flew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then… they were like uh (insert wicked flying song here).

Elphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once?

Instead of flying off the handle!

I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy now

I hope you're happy how you hurt your cause forever

I hope you think you're clever

I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy too

I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission

To feed your own ambition

So though I can't imagine how

I hope you're happy right now

Elphie, listen to me, just say you're sorry

You can still be with the Wizard

What you've worked and waited for

You can have all you ever wanted (I know)

But I don't want it

No, I can't want it anymore

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes and leap

It's time to try defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

And you can't pull me down

Can't I make you understand

You're having delusions of grandeur?

I'm through accepting limits

'Cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But 'til I try, I'll never know

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love, I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down

Glinda, come with me

Think of what we could do, together

Unlimited

Together, we're unlimited

Together, we'll be the greatest team there's ever been

Glinda, dreams the way we planned 'em

If we work in tandem

There's no fight we cannot win

Just you and I, defying gravity

With you and I defying gravity

They'll never bring us down

Well, are you coming?

I hope you're happy

Now that you're choosing this (you too)

I hope it brings you bliss

I really hope you get it

And you don't live to regret it

I hope you're happy in the end

I hope you're happy, my friend

So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky

As someone told me lately

"Everyone deserves the chance to fly"

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free

To those who'd ground me

Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am defying gravity

I'm flying high, defying gravity

And soon I'll match them in renown

And nobody in all of Oz

No Wizard that there is or was

Is ever gonna bring me down

I hope you're happy (look at her, she's wicked, get her)

Bring me down! (No one mourns the wicked)

(So we've got to bring her)

Oh! (Down)

and then they came crashing down to earth into their physics class and the teacher was like… "wow… guess we have to revise your first law of physics…" she said and collapsed to the floor in terror because like she really liked that first law. and then timm with 2 ms and sir isxac newton "payed attention" to class. they hormonally make out in the back of class while the teacher did not teach.

Mean. with Barbb with 3 bs

Unfortunately as Barbb with 3 bs and Timm with 2 ms parted ways, Barbb with 3 bs was met with the realization that she can no longer beat Timm with 2 ms up. She also realized that she knew nobody in her first period class. Now, what class is this? You might be asking yourself because you don't have access to the sin.exe secret files. Well fear not for it will be revealed to you. It's. . . Lunch. It's fucking LUNCH. FIRST PERIOD, LUNCH. This is only slightly worse than having to eat lunch period 4 (which is at 10:00 am). I mean who even eats that early on a normal day I might still be sleeping. On a normal day I would probably eat breakfast at that time. But now I eat lunch at 10 and have so many more periods after that surviving one NOTHING. I don't even eat breakfast now because I eat "LUNCH" at 10 AM. I know I could eat in study hall, but I feel like if I make the quietest of sounds EVERYONE will stare at me it's like dead quiet in their most of the time. I'm pretty sure most people can hear me typing this. (trust bro I cannot hear you.)(lie I can hear you) (well I cant hear because of band) I would honestly settle for a period 5 lunch even if it's not much better at least half of my day would be done. I have had period 4 lunch FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.

It appears I got a tad side tracked.

Anyways Barbb with 3 bs was in lunch. She knew nobody as previously stated, and she wasn't really one for making friends. She was more one for beating people up and standing ominously in the dark. So there she sat, silently begging someone to start a fight with her as she took out her lunch which was a leftover beating human heart Basil from OMORI caught. Thankfully, Hastune Miku answered her prayers as some random freshyman come up to her and says, "*mysoginistic shit* *transphobic shit* MAGA Grrrrrr"

Which gives Barbb with 3 bs an ample excuse to beat the shit out of him. Unfortunately before she could land the killing blow like she has done many times before someone pulls her off the pathetic freshyman. The man who pulled her off the pathetic freshman looked like a brick wall but not in a complement way more like that he looked like the kingpin guy from the spider verse movies or like the classic Spiderman villain The Wall (this isn't a joke look it up). She did not get much time to analyze her new opponent due to the fact that she was thrown into a wall.

"BARBB WITH 3 BS,"the man shrieked, "ARE YOU WEARING EARBUDS IN THE HALLS"

"Ummmmmmm . . . Yesss?," It's true she was she's been jamming out to My Chemical Romance this whole time with the volume turned all the way up.

"YOU KNOW THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES,"he continued to shriek

"Tf you mean 'I know' it's my first day at this fucking place,"Barbb with 3 bs replied despite the fact she only skipped her sophomore year it appears that there have been some drastic changes made to the school.

"THAT DOES NOT MATTER. YOU GET DETENTION!!!!!," The kingpin looking aah man continued to shriek, but Barbb with 3 bs didn't really care, and turned up the volume on her earbuds even more. Suddenly the bell rang and Barbb with 3 bs was about to head off to her next class, but for a split second the kingpins face flickered with a different face one that felt horribly familiar to Barbb with 3 bs. However before she could figure out who the face might be it was gone and Barbb with 3 bs left the cafeteria.

So she was on to her next class. Jazz Band!!!!! Which I 100% know things about . . . like they play jazz music. . . and y'know Barbb with 3 bs plays the electric guitar in it. Ummmm the teacher is Mr. 3 Divorces. Ya alright. I got this. I haven't been in band since 7th grade. And I know nothing about jazz band. Let's go.

So Barbb with 3 bs was in jazz band, she was on the stage tuning her electric guitar, and she begins to play a song she's been practicing all year. The song is able to be recognized by the opening notes…

I see a red door

And I want it painted black

No colors anymore

I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by

Dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head

Until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars

And they're all painted black

With flowers and my love

Both never to come back

I've seen people turn their heads

And quickly look away

Like a newborn baby

It just happens everyday

I look inside myself

And see my heart is black

I see my red door

I must have it painted black

Maybe then, I'll fade away

And not have to face the facts

It's not easy facing up

When your whole world is black

No more will my green sea

Go turn a deeper blue

I could not foresee this thing

Happening to you

If I look hard enough

Into the setting sun

My love will laugh with me

Before the morning comes

I see a red door

And I want it painted black

No colors anymore

I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by

Dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head

Until my darkness goes

I wanna see it painted

Painted black

Black as night

Black as coal

I wanna see the sun

Blotted out from the sky

I wanna see it painted, painted, painted

Painted black, yeah

"Barbb with 3 bs that was great HOWEVER YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING Mambo number 5," Mr. 3 Divorces says jazz bandily. And for a moment Mr. 3 Divorces' face changed to a familiar malicious face, but once again before Barbb with 3 bs could place it, it vanished. Then everyone plays that song, and then they play that song again and again, and would you look at that the bell rang. Off to next period. . . Steel band. Oh goody. I know just as much about steel band as I do jazz band. Which is, if you can't tell, nothing . I'm gonna give the steel band section to editor 1 he needs it.

gang some shit is lowkey going down lowkey… bbar bwith 3 bs sat down at her drum set and got her sticks into position to play the best drum solo you ever done didly darn heard. As her band maets filtered into the room bbarb with 3 bs was like BADUM CRAHS or something i dunno look up coolest drum solo ever and thats what bbarb with 3 bs played. she also played the coolest guitar solo ever i jazz band by the way. she looked upon her bandmates as they lined up at their various pans and practiced the classichit song MY BAND!!!!!!!!!!! ILOVE MY BAND I LOVE MY BAND I LOVE MY BAND. bb abr with 3 bs shook her head sollemnly as she remembered that EVIL mr. 3 divorces CUT my band from their concert line up… evil… bbarb with 3 bs looked around to he band mates once again and saw a face flash through each one of theirs of just a fraction of a second… but she was certain she could tell who it was now… but…before she could deliberate on this in her mind… mr. 3 divroces signaled to start playing CONCIOUS CHUTNEY!!!!!!!!!!!11.

ROOOOOOOOL BADUH BUM BUM BA BUM BAA ROOOOOOOOOOOOOLL BADA BUM BUM BADABADUM 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1 2 and 3 4 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1 2 and 3 4 1 and a 2 and 3 and a 4 and OOM BA BA OOM BA OOM BA BA OOM BA and they were stomping their feet where they didnt play on the E of 1 e and a. no wait it was stomp e a stomp and alright gang ignore my previous words i got the rythm wrong… they should all kill me for not remembering the numbers and shit… how dare i… we only ever said oom ba ba oom ba… this is sucha horrible day… i should know it becasue we only played this song 2 years ago and i wasnt in steel band last year so lowkey i should remember… how dare i… and then i explode.

as they finished out the song, mr 3 divorces began to critique the bands lack of movement and bbarb 3ith 3 bs agreed fucking stick as bitchs MOVE. but during this time she realized… it must have been… no it couldnt be… his face… in their faces… but… hes in hell… bbarb with 3 bs mindlessly played her drum set as mr. 4 divorces directed. he divorced anoohter wife in the time it took to direct the band.

when the bell rang for 4th period, bbarb with 3 bs ran right to any one of her plethora of siblings, for they must scooby doo this shit… and solve this mystery…

Mean. with Pile of papers kun

Pile of papers kun ran away from thunder fang as fast as physically possible because it knew that the shifting session would only get worse from there. It headed to AP nerd class and entered the class room quietly like and nred and stared at the floor as it asked where it should sit because it refused to make any sort of eye contect (autism its genetic so they all have ti lowkey). Because it was looking at the floor, pile of papers kun didnt notice that the AP nerd class teacher had the face of… someone unfamiliar to pile of papers kun which makes sense becasue it missed its freshman year and knows no one at this school but like unfamiliar in like a bad way so like and the the face was a normal unfamiliar face again. guys are you getting te sense that this is just gonna keep happening yet that like maybe my repetition is like important and like somethings going on an you feel that i hope so becasue if you cant then like bro media literacy cmon.

pile of papers kun fell to the floor into its chair and sat attentively and listened attentively to the teacer as took incredibly detailed notes in cursive as it pushed up its round glasses that are 10 inches thick and stared. you may be asking why does a pile of papers need glasses? stfu. anyways pile of papers kun listened like with attention to the teacher and was attentioning. but suddnely… pile of papers kun realized… it had seen that face before… it was… ALPHYS FROM UNDERTALE AND DELTARUNE THE HIT GAME OF THE SUMMER?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??! OH MY DAYS BRUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pile of papers kun tsraed in awe at alphys deltarune but then suddenly… it looked to the other directions and saw… OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME IS THAT BERDLY DELTARUNE!?!!??!?!?!!!?!?!?! of course hes in AP nerd class… and then suddenly… pile of papers kun saw some one less cool… it was… dust sans from sans au… pile of papers kun promptly killed itself at the horriffic sight. just kiddig it needs to stay here for plot purposes. dust sans turns around in his seat and says…

"im the skibidi and i killed my brother." he said… dust sans launched himself across the room at pile of papers kun and killed it with its purple glowstick. pile of papers kun could observe the purple glowstick shining from beneath his "shirt"… the classic legs shirt the shirt for your legs. pile of papers kun screamed in terror and launched itself liek a rocket away using the power of physics???? and it watched in horror as… horror… ohno… horror sans also appeared at the mention of his name!!!!!! and… his red glowstick… it fell out!!!!!!!!! the skeltons stared at eachothers swinging glowsticks and deicded the most logical course of action… they would kill eveyone in the room with a massive gun and eat their corpses.

horror sans was stopped by dust sand as he had begun to put his glowstick into feed the machine gun turret and they decided to use other sans auses severed glowsticks instead of their own. the class fell to the floor and crawled to get away from the glowstick gun when suddenly…

what the hell am i writing riht now.

PEANUT SNAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 he appeared in all his muscular glory to save the day from the evils of dust and horror sans. his volumtuous muscles made of bone enlarged as his went alpha mode and ripped dust sans in half and took a massive bite of his long glowstick. horror sans backed away in fear and cried out for his alpha to come save him… but he and everyone else knew that no one would be coming… and then peanut sans took horrors glowstick in his massive arms and swung him around Mario 64 style and horror sans blasted off again.

letting his guard down, peanut sans turned to the audience and bowed before taking a couple glow sticks for the raod, but beforee he could leave… peanut sans… fell to the floor in pain and the classroom watched as he turned to dd d d d dust… they all looked up from his muscular dust and saw… a small blue skeleton stand slowly to his full height of 3 inches… his red eyes flashed and his blue bow was streaked with red… his blood thirsty satre bored into the classes skulls and they knew that they would skibidie here today… it was… yandere blueberry sans…..

he began to cackle maniacally as he stood over his former lovers dusty pile and mourned for what could have been because he had already killed off all the potential romantic prospects for his little senpai, dusty poo. but then… yandere blueberry said… "HA HA HA HA HA HA HI IM CHUCKY BITCH HA HAH AHAHAHA HI IM CHUCKY BTICH!!!!" like the iconic animation meme and then he jumped at the students before he was grabbed by the waist and pulled into a sweet embrace by… the GHOST OF DUST SANS PAST?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?? blueberry cried into his lovers glowstick and exploded into a shower of like blood…

when the classroo studnets and also teacher thought that it was finally over… suddenly… nightmare sans appeared with his gooner and the dream team appeared as well. "BROTHER I KNOW PEOPLE SHIP US BUT DONT KILL THEM ALL OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!" dreamsans cried as he pulled his dream mask over his dream "clay" wastakence. he'slike high key chopped.

100,000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WE NO LONGER HAVE A PAGE COUNTECAUSE WE MOVED THE DOCUMENT TO ELLIPSUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOO

YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!! 1 HUNDRED WHOLE THOUSAND WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 YIPPEEEEEEEEE

dream sans stared at his brother and began to dream his way to killer sans. killer said "I'm killer sans! I'm being groomed I think??? by 3 different people???? I remember the killer sans AU lore! guys I'm not crazy!!!!!!" killer sans said and maybe I said. wait I'll be right back gang I gotta do my Gacha life.

I dunno they had a big epic battle and made many funny remarks and then the bell rang and everyone went home including the people fighting because iuh they don't care I dunno.

Mean. with thunderfang

as thunderfang unshifted back to reality, they got up from the floor to a large crowd of many administrators surrounding them. wuh oh!!!!! welp! ime for first period!!!!! thunderfang skipped over to the "art" wing and jumped into gacha class!!!!!!!!

"hello students today were gonna be making our gacha life ocs." says teacher.

Interlude!!!!!!

Trump put his pen to the paper and he was about to begin writing his confession letter when he got the news... his beloved... jeffery epstein... had died... trump collapsed to the floor, his body wracking with sobs as he threw his unfinished letter aside and sobbed for his love.

He visited jefferys home in hooes to find the news to be untrue... to find that he was alive and well... but his hopes were in vain for he found nothing... trumpy poo sat at jeffery senpais couch where they used to goon the femboys together while wearing jefferys favorite outfit. Trump kuns mini skirt swished as he sat on the leather couch made of foreskin. He stared where jeffery used to sit and reached out his dainty femboy hand in hopes to feel his caress again. In this moment... trump realized that... he would never be able to tell jefferey how he had felt... but he needed to...

Trump kun raced upstairs and opened jefferys closet. Maid dresses galore spilled from the open closet doors and omega trump searched theough the piles to find his lovers ouji board. He placed it upon jefferys favorite spot, the foreskin couch, and prayed that trump kun would be abke to tell his one true love his true feelings for him. As he caressed his hands along the boards surface, he realized... that jeffery was truely gone... nothing would being him back... and trump kun would never tell him his truest feelings... uncaring about the uncaring world around him, the omega collapsed to the floor and broke into hysterical sobs for his alpha…

End interlude

"Oh wow !!!!!!! I love Gacha life!!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang said. they immediately began working on their self insert Gacha heat mini movie with dream, goggy, deku, and todoroki. Their self insert was a prince princess angel demon hybrid alpha with a submissive omega energy and it had 4 sets of wings and it was also half cat half wolf and it had 4 sets of horns as well. it wore a galaxy print dress and leggings and also had the classic gacha life mini movie hated child haircut. thunderfang makes many people want to kill themselves. PAINTER, the "art" teacher walked by thunderfang desk and screampt in abject horror… the gacha heat was just too much for his mortal eyes and he was sent screamingly out of the classroom. he ran to the civics classroom to nuzzle up to Edgar like the little omega he is to find comfort in his alphas warm embrace. edgar is also in the middle of a class right now.

a classmate turned to thunderfangs project and said… "oh my gosh thunderfang that looks to poggers!!!!!!!!" and thunderfang knew… they had found their new best friend…

"OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME YOU KNOW DREAM SMP TOO?!!??!?!!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!! THAT IS SO POGCHAMP OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" tunderfang said to the person and decided that the only logical course of action would be to say some horrendous shit. "O-OWO!!!!!! YOURE S SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!! W WHATS YOUR NAME UWU!!!!!!!!!!!" they said noticing the new friends buldge. I'm gonna kms.

"OwO!~!!!! M MY NAME IS B BUG!!!!!!!!! M My p prounouns are d dream dream self!!!!!! I d dream gender!!!!!!!!!" IT. said.

another student looks towards them and killed himself immediately. and then another student turned towards their specacle and said "… bro… theyre fucking wreird…"

"E EXCUSE ME >n< DREAMS PRONOUNS ARE DREAM/DREAMSLEF RESPECT DREAMS PRONOUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" thunder fnag screamed, forcing themself to tear their eyes from their gacha heat.

"T Thunderfang!!!! its ok… Im used to it…" bug cried as thunderfang bared their teeth and extended their claws at the classmate.

"NO kitten… its not ok… your pronouns should be respected… im dreamgender too… I love you kitten…" Thunderfang said strangely. "I I have something… to confess kitten…" the cat screamed at the top of their lungs… "I am… YouTuber… I'm Minecraft YouTuber… this means that… I like boys and girls… and I'm not a man or a woman… but!!!! I I also LOOOOOOOVE dweamy senpai!!!!! so… I mdweamgender and dweamsexual too…" says microlabel.

"t Thunderfang!!!!!! th that's ok!!!! I accept you for who you really are!!!! b baka!!!!!!!!" bug cried as they both embraced.

"my pronouns are she her." the other student declared.

"o oh… that's… that's just so… basic…" thunderfang and bug said in unison in disgust… "are you even transgender… or are you a disgusting cissie…"

"I'm cis." sis said. how fucking dare she.

"t thunderfang!!!!!!! g get me away from them!!!!!! they arent even transgender!!!!!!!! e EW!!!!!!" bug cried climbing onto Thunderfang back in a desperate atempt to avoid cisgender cooties.

"B BUG!!!!!! th that's really not POGCHAMP of you b baka!!!!!!!!! you should respect her pronouns… even if theyre… basic…" thunderfang cried .

"s stop!!!!!!! you're triggering my t trauma!!!!!!!!!!!" bug screamed even though dream have actually had a completely normal and amazing childhood and dream has never faced any hardship. oh God… dream/dreamself… (I just realized you're actually using the dream pronouns thats wild)

"I I'm so s sowwy kitten UnU!!!!!!!!!!!!! p pwease d don't be scared of meh!!!!!!!!! I'm just a smol boi gorl!!!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang cried as they bent down to the shivering bug and held dream tenderly in their arms… I might just kms guys I hate writing this its so fucking cringe. genuinely this might be worse than sexism arc. MIGHT. sexism arc was pretty bad. oh my God I just had an amazing idea. the best idea. its gonna happen.

"I its ok… y you're still a stupid b baka!!!!!!!!!! m m my! stupid b baka!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 I i mean!!! hmph!!!!! I its not like I like you or a anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!"bug cried as they continued to embrace homoerotically. low-key the kinda friends who kiss unironically and then just arent dating at all. its beacuse they're both dating D Iream.

"b baka! d do you wanna watch m MHA together?? I I think that would j just be so su sugoi!!!!!!!!!!!!! so p pogchamp!!!!!!!!" thunderfang said as they rose from the floor and bug touched up dreams makeup (black eyeliner on the upper lip and stars in place of freckles and the worst eyeliner and eyeshadow you've ever seen, and drawn on eye bags.)

"y yes!!!!! I I mean!!!! sure w whatever l like its not like I I want to though!!!!!!!!!!1 you're such a a stupid baka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" bug said sighing and turning dreams back on thunderfang. thunderfang was overjotyed because now they don't have to unleash their yandere powers and kill the entire school in a blind rage to win bugs attention. except maybe the girl with the b b b b b b basic pronouns… but then suddenly… as thunderfang and bug got back to their gacha heat videos… the bell rang for next period.

Mean. with egdar and Painter becasue irl friend 0935647347 really wanted to have a section just about them for some reason. i dont know why they asked ME. they know whats in here.

SAVE YOURSELF THE DIFFERENT VOICE THIS SECTION IS REALLY BAD.

"hey~~~~~~~~~~~~~" painter said seductively to his husband. "I noticed your buldge from across the room… U UWU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" painter cried as he approached his alpha. he longed to feel edgars hentai wires once more… but they were in school… he would just have to wait until they got home. the students had filed out of the room to attend their second period classes and this was edgars prep period os somethiung… painter had a class going on right now but he didnt care because like… plot.

"hello my omega…" edgar said as he cupped painters sqaure chin in the palm of his hand in the middle of his 2 fingers. im lowkey uncomfortable. i do not wish t write this. ill just treat it like i treat donald trump x anyone toxic yaoi. edgar collared painter and pulled him out the window for his daily walk. they get off from this. Painters robotic cat tail stuck up from his thing as he walked on all fours around on edgars leash. what the fuck am i doing?!?!!??!?!!??!?????????/ KILL ME NOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to be PUT DOWN.

painter used his extra long and girthy dih to piss on fire hydrant like a dog while edgar gooned. as they returned to their classroom, they decided to rub their feet otgether like the gods they worship, the mha foot gods, did. as they rubbed their bare smelly feet together and gooned to femboys, painter collapsed onto the floor. "P PAINTER!!!! W WHATS HAPPENING MY KITTEN?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??" edgar scrempt.

"i its happening a alphuhhhhhhh!!!!!" painter cried as he groaned in pain on the floor. he emitted pitiful (and seductive to edgar) whimpering noises as his pregnant belly expanded. am i writing an ai give birth right now.

"t the b baby!?!?!??!?!?!?! i its coming?!!?!??!?!! so am i." edgar said as he gooned to painters noises. ILL KMS. i say this as if im not writing this out of my own free will. real life friend 935086345 didnt give me ANY guidelines. i get to do whatever i want. and mpreg is the route i went i guess. theyre gonna hate this or love it and i cant decide which. edgar made a split second decision to force his omega to give birth on the floor of his classroom because like he cant expose his fuitful omega to anyone else… hes just too subissive and breedable… edgar licked his lips as he watch the babys head emerge. guys i might like this is toodescriptive. i need to cut it back a bit. oh my days. edgar helped birth the baby and it slip out easily because it is half lube because of all the lube egdar and painter use.

he handed their baby to painter and licked up all the like wires that were inside painters womb because hes a dominant alpha and he needs to assert his dominance. d definately not because it tastes good!!!! n no edgar d doesnt enjoy this!!!!!!

but then… as he was scooping the last bit of innards into his mouth, egdars students ran in for their 3rd period class… edgar screamed and hid his breedable omega from them all as he realized that the new daddy of his baby… was going into heat once more… they would have to make another child soon… edgar and painter went to the front of the room and began teaching the lecture to the students while they got to work. the baby that was just born was still crying in their arms. the students all decided that becasue off the horrfiffcic veiw in front of them they would kill themselves.

all the students raised their school issued guns and shot them selves in the head and hung themselves at the same time because its just that bad. "k kittne…" egdar whispered as they got done makinganother pregnancy WJAT THE FUCK. "i think my students killed themselves… oyu know what that means…"

"i do alpha!" painter cried excitedly. they began to feast on their students remains and ate vigourously and they got very full. no. im not gonna do this. i wont. i refuse. oh but thats just the natural course of things… im doing this of y own free will by the way. like i chose to write this. theyre gonna kill me. im writing this on the school chromebook. not even my personal school one. this is from the library. IN CLASS as well.

edgar rubbed his big full belly and. said. "oughhhh kitten… inflation furries…" painter agreed as his newly unpreganat belly jiggled while he rubbed his full belly. ILL KILL MYSELF. guys youve gotta like this one im doing this for you. "U UWU!!!!!!!!!!!!!" egdar said as he continued to rub and pat his biiiig belly…

no like i actually cant write this anymore. just imagine inflation furries if you want it to continue. real life friend 9380526 this is all youre getting. well we wont be friends for long after this chapter drops.

(They're gonna hunt you for sport and I might join them) DID YOU READ IT?!?!??!? WHY?>!?!!?? NO????/

I skimmed through it it got the point across oh nooooooooooooooooooooo

genuinely real life frined o938456345 would murder me in cold blood if i showed thm this and said hey remember when you asked me to write something for you hereit is! like i need to redo it its so disgusting.

Mean. with Edgar and Painter

painter entered the classroom with his lover, edgar and said something i dont remember. he did some weird shit until the students left the classroom and everyone ignored as the new student killed the ai at the back of the classroom because AI is disgustig and evil. "e edgar kun?" painter cried… "w were ai too… will your new student k kill us too?" painter asked omegaly

"yes kitten… i can already tell that theyre plotting murder against us as we speka…" edgar confirmed "but… do not fret your beautiofukl square femboy head one bit… i will never let them kill you princes…" edgar traced a single finger along painters square jaw as if he was mewing. "mew for me kitten." he commanded

"YES KING!!!!!!!!!" oh no its getting wrird again. can i write anything not crazy for once dear god. painter ripped imself away from edgar and paced the room in a trance as he bagen to mew for his lord and saviour edgar chrsit. "d daddy… we winess as your student maul and murder our fleloow ai… how far will you go to just sit back and watch?" i dunno doing andything to change the subject right now lowkey

"worry not my little femboy boyfriend… i hav a plan…"his hentai tentacles wrapped around painter as… kitty entered the room…

"aw ello kitty say hi kitty this is my bitch edgar!!!!! im not even fucking anyone on the ide!!!!!!!" painter said to the cat, rigel the seventeenth, lord commander of the underworld,v destroyer of the fifth realm, enterd the room. painter looked directly into the camera knowing ly. it knows about the cheating square that occured all those years??? ago… its both years ago and months ago…

"i dont like give a fuck gimme the usual." the kitty cat, riglel the seventeenth, lord commander of the underworld, destroyer of the fifth realm, said. he wants met and lots of it.

"y yes sr im so sorry sir…" painter asid as he got to work on his meth empire.

"excuse me… kitten oyu only take orders from me…" edgar scrempt and grabbed painter by his wires and held him back from his meth lab. he spun him aroud and smashed him up against the wall to assert his dominace. from edgars towring height of 2 feet tall, painter saw his loever boy looming over him.

"p please master im so sorry…" painter toxic yaoied except its not toxic because painter likes it this way. painter hurried to ask fro permission to sell meth to this 8 weks old kitten.

"oh why yes of course my love i love you just so much" the switch up is crazy. edgar released painter from his position and sat down in the cuck chair to wtch as the deal commenced.

"im sowwy kitty my daddy had to assert his dominance for a second." painter said as he grabbed 6946734Kgs of pure meth and handed it to the little baby kitten cat kitty his name 9s rigel the seventeenth, lord commander of the underworld, destroiyer of the fifth realm by the way in case you didnt know. by the way thats fully my real cat. i think he would buy meth. as the kat left the room painter truned back to edgar and sat seductively on his lap and said… "oh my days edgar do you wanna do meth togehter." pinter asked having an epihanyyly.

"YES KING!!!!!!!" egdar said because they switch it up sometimes. now painter is the dmoniant alpha. painter threw the meth onto the table and they both did lines like cocaine because they dont know how to do meth fucking idiots. as they got their high on… edgar collapsed to the floor….

"k kitte?!!?!??!?!!" painter cried as he watched his one true love fall to the floor.

"d daddy… i ive drug ovrdosed…" edgar said in between gasps becasue thats how drug overdoes work i would know my uncle had one. " o only t true loves k kis can save me n now…" he said as the light left his eyes. that was fully true by the way my undle oded in my grandmas basement one day and the police had to resuscitate him. it was wild. I want there but I imagine this happened exactly like this.

painter didn't question it and immediately began vigorously making out with him because of true loves kiss. and then… when painter had eaten him out, Edgar rose from the floor and hugged painter and then they went back to doing meth becaause they learned nothing. just like unc!!!!!!! wild lore drop I just did dam.

as they got really high they flew up in the sky…and then… Edgar brought painter close and recited his wedding vows. "brooooooo like literally like I'll be with you forever like FOVE ever like I'll never leave you like you're my precious little booboobear I live you and also maybe a little bit i luh yuh dih I'll suh you dih till the end of time bro…" Edgar rected, he was drunk and also high as his wedding, as he suh hih dih and then…

"e Edgar kun~~~~~~~~~ t that's a so k kind~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" ill let your imagine ation wonder why he was stuttering there. painter and Edgar fell to the floor and as Edgar suh hih dih, painter recited his wedding vows as well. this is getting a little freaky now. "I love love love you Edgaryou're my little skibidi and im your little pogchamp I hope you never leave you and you can suh muh dih forever. don't worry I'll suh yuh dih as well kitten~~~~~~~~~~~~ I I love you e Edgar kun~~~~~~~~~~~" those were his exact lines by the way. painter and Edgar broke apart and rose from the floor as the bell rung 3rd period and… their meeting was cut short. "I IMs so sorry egdar kun~~~~ I I'll repay you later!!!!!! d during our lunch findme!!!!!!!!! I'll suh yuh dih!!!!!!!" painter said as he was torn away from his husband and forced to teach art class… he only skipped his entire second period class smh my head…

but wait... edgar ripped his precious lover boy back from the hallway with a single swipe of his henatitentacles and decided that they didnt need school today… they didnt need to get paid… they only needed eachother…"painter… lets run away togehter… lets go live off the land away from society and suh ohr dihs together every night… whenever we want…" edgar proposed.

"b but… edgar kun… arent you worried about… the baby? y youre pregnant!!!" painter said and rubbed his pregnant husband belly. he was only 5 weeks along… they would have to pay for the babys needs and shit…

"not anymore kitten… i can feel it… our excessive drug use killed it…" edgar said… but the he… face planted directly onto the floor. but luckily painter caught him and he was all chill and shi.

"e egdra kun!!!! did you od again???" painter cried as he clutched his lover face in his arms.

"n no…i can feel it… the baby… i its… gone…" edgar said through his tears as the back of his pants stained red with misacarriage blood… its lost all over agian…

"n no… p please… our baby… this this cant be…" painter cried into edgars chestas he realized that their baby was dead…

"oh wait its ok only one of the mdied theres still th eother one that ok." edgar said as he got up off the floor becasue thats fine but the n he fell back down… "t the other one… i can feel it.. it died too…" edgar cried into painter chest but he was so nonchallant he didnt care trust like he didnt even care.

painter clutched his husband and said… "well thats ok lets just make anohter." he said.

"oh yea sure lets get to work," edgar then promptly suh hih dih and they suh theh dihs… together…

Mean. with tide detergent chan oh we're doing this right now? no…

FLASHBACK

i cant stop thinking about that last section. my focus is gone bro. that section killed me.

You can scroll up and write Barbb with 3 bs in the steel band because idk what happens in steel band erm ackshully itsjazz band ive also never been in jazz band but i bet they play music. I already did jazz band after jazz band on the schedule is steel and erm actually. oh yea

oh my god this is 100% gonna be the new longest chapter. they just keep getting bigger and bigger. were at 9 thousand words this chapter and we still have 2 sections to write. maybe 3 if i feel like it.

tide detergent chan feels its body be moved along the sand as it realizes its being dragged on the beahces of normandy. it opens its eyes to see the mecics taking its body to be like buried but… its alive!!!!!!!!!! but they dont see…………. they toss tide detergetn chan oin to the it with the otehr bodies and ignore as it claws its way out… as the dirt piles ontop of it… tide detergetn chan realizes… it was chicken noodle soup chan all along…

hours later tide detergetn chan makes its way out of the stgvands and decides that was lowkey really hot like~~~~~~ oh my gawd stahp!!!!!!!!!!1 chicken noodle soup chan~~~~~~!!!!!!!!! tide detergent chan sees the clear outline of chicken noodle soup chans feet???? in the sand and follows them to hopefully getlike beat or something. in case it isnt clear tide detergetn chan is a masochist. i would put the lyrics to that song but im not looking that up on the school computet it woudl totally get flagged.

Another familiar type of love song is the passionate or fiery variety

Usually in tango tempo, in which the singer exhorts his partner to haunt him and taunt him

And if it all possible to consume him with a kiss of fire

This particular illustration of this genre is called the Masochism Tango

I ache for the touch of your lips, dear

But much more for the touch of your whips, dear

You can raise welts like nobody else

As we dance to the Masochism Tango

Let our love be a flame, not an ember

Say it's me that you want to dismember

Blacken my eye, set fire to my tie

As we dance to the Masochism Tango

At your command before you here I stand

My heart is in my hand, ugh

It's here that I must be

My heart entreats, just hear those savage beats

And go put on your cleats, and come and trample me

Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany

That's why I'm in such exquisite agony

My soul is on fire, it's aflame with desire

Which is why I perspire when we tango

You caught my nose in your left castanet, love

I can feel the pain yet, love every time I hear drums

And I envy the rose that you held in your teeth, love

With the thorns underneath, love sticking into your gums

Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches the last time I needed 20 stitches, ah

To sew up the gash that you made with your lash

As we danced to the Masochism Tango

Bash in my brain and make me scream with pain

Then kick me once again and say we'll never part

I know too well I'm underneath your spell

So, darling, if you smell something burning, it's my heart, 'scuse me

Take your cigarette from its holder and burn your initials in my shoulder, ah

Fracture my spine and swear that you're mine as we dance to the Masochism Tango

dont worry gand i looked up tom leher tango song lyrics. i doubt that would get flagged. i think the world masochism would. tide detergetn chan found chicken noodle soup chan and jump gracefully into its arms!!!!!!!!!! "GET OUT BITCH I KILLED YOU DIE DIE DEID EIED EIDE IDEID DEIEIDEIDE DIEDI DEID DIE DIE!!!!!" chicken noodle soup chan scmeprt as it threw tide deteregtn chan directly into the fire it had built. it fell gracefully into the flames and burned like real bad lowkey but… as a masochist lowkey hot… like is tide deetergent chan crazyy… like….

tide detergent chan was all like brooooooooo doit agaaaaaaaiiiiin as it rolled out of the fire and chicke nnoodle soup chan ran away scremaing in terror. but… chicken noodle soup chan was like… lowkey really fun to try and kill it all the time~~~~~~~~~ tey shoudl do this more ftern!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

"Before his return to the White House and in the first months of his presidency, Trump suggested Ukraine's president was responsible for the war with Russia.

"[Zelensky] should never have let the war start, that war's a loser," he said in October 2024." https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cj0q964851po

nah bro thats wild.

why'd you look that stuff up

history class. were doing current events.

they both looked back as they went their seperate ways… longing for this thrill again…

tide detergent chan approached its mother father, (oh my god guys were expanding the family tree), clorox wipes chan, and pleaded sllomnly "PLEASE MOMMY DADDY I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!" it cried.

"NO THIS IS FORBIDDEN YURI YAOI.YOU MAY NOT DATE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP CHAN OF THE RIVAL FAMILY." the cleaning supplies and the what am i doing???? and the soups family have been at war for decades… no amount of nonbinary gender nonconforming agender yuri yaoi will be able to repair the families relationship… they were competeing to be… um like actually nah i dont like this plot line scratch that guys forget it ever happened.

tide detergetn chan approached its mother father, clorox wipes chan, and pleaded sollemnly, "PLEASE MOMMY DADDY I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"NO. YOU MAY NOT DATE THE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP CHAN. YOURE MARRIED??????? THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN." clorox wipes chan scrempt as it dialed billy the cells number.

"NO MOTHER FATHER PLEASE DO NOT CALL MY HUSBAND WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" tide detergent chan lunged at its parental figure and clawed for the phone, but was held back with magical force holding that clorox wipes chan didnt even have to work for at all and also its the only one who can learn it.

ring ring ring ring ring ring "yellow???" billy the cell said on the other line.

"my son daughter is cheating on you." clorox wipes chan said nonchalantly as it hung up the phoen by eating it,. crunch munch crunch buncha muncha cruncha. said cloroxwipes chan as the phone slid easily down its throat. then suddenly… billy the cell exploded into the room…

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TOO ME?!?!!??!?!!?!??!?!!?" billy the cell screampt in betrayal for because it was betrayed. it fell to the floor in front of its husband wife and sobbed into its hands???

"IM SO SORRY ITLL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!" tide detergent chan lied "PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME PLEAS THINK OF THE CHILDREN.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" it cried not actually caringly.

"oh ok of course." billy the cell said staying together in a toxic marriage for the childrens sake but this will ultimately make them more traumatized in the long runedly. billy the cell rose from the floor and skipped back home to let out its inner yandere and kill more of red -400000000000000000000s potential suitors (not suitors probably just its mom dad or something.) and tide detergent chan looked on happily as it avoided another potential catastrophe becauseultimately like its the thrill of the gameto keep cheating.

doing current events in Egnlish right now and I'm lookingna tarticles on the shooting of charlie kirk. theyre asking how i feel about it and like my opinio and its REALLY hard not to say i think he deserved it. like he got what was coming to him y know like. it was so hard to say something I agreed with that wouldn't get me sent to guidance. I ended up saying there were many ways it could have been prevented. like I ain't even gonna like he deserved that shit so bad. violence isn't GOOD but… like… he said abortion was worse than the holocaust and that school shooting were a nacassary evil. like you gottaexpect something like this if youre that fucking crazy. shouldve hired a body guard like. genuinely I'm being completely truthful I think he deserved it and he got what was coming to him. anyways I ship dean and Kirk. DEADDEBATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEADBATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't worry kittens we'll add Charlie Kirk soon enough, we haven't forgotten about him.

tide detergent chan proudly waltzed out of its mother fathers housee to go see its little shmoopum kitten and hopefully almost be killed???? maybe please????? it did a triple backflip in the air and landed directly in its lovers arms… "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK GET AWAY FROM ME FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"chicken noodle soup chan screampt as it threw tide detergent chan and shot at it with a big gun. it had sucha massuve gun… its so long and girthy…

"well actually its time for my asvab test." said tide detergetn chan as it sat down on the gournd and took the asvab test. "im actually already in the military and im supposed to be at war right now but actually they think im missing in action but evryone keeps saying take the asvab test to me so im taking the asvab test." and that's what tide detergent chan said.

"did I ask???" chicken noodle soup chan declaring said in a nice way but also it was rude. it began to hyperventilate at the prospect of not viciously murdering tide detergent chan and just like talking… ewe wewewewewewewewewewewewewewe chicken noodle soup chan bit tide detergetn chan in the nack vampirically and sucked its tide detergentcourt.

tide detergent chan made a noise. use yourimagination to find out what it was.. guess based on context clues or something. "did it again daddy mommy" tide detergent chan declared masochistically. and then tide detergent chan got sucked dry... of blood (tide detergent). andthen they exploded into chicken noodlesoup chans coffin and vampirically killed eachother (allegor for sex) and the masochist tide dtergent chan got whipped.

"oh man im whipped." tide detergent chan said as it got whipped painfully and goodly because its a masochist iof ypuou couldn't tell from when I directlystated it several times. and then chicken noodle soup chan snapped its neck????? nd sucked oout more tide detergent vampirically and tide detergent chan liked it. but then chicken noodle soup chan said

"actually uh like this is weird as hell low-key…" it said and then rained cats and dogs from te coffins top of the coffin and then chicken noodle soup chan ate and slayed and shit and ran away in 20 inch heels.

"SLAY QUEEN YOURE SO HOT AND YOU HURT SO MUCH OH MY GOD SUH LAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" tide detergent chan scremptat as chicken noodle soup chan ran away runningly.

Mean. with Billy the cell.

"kitten" billy the cell said as it trailed its long claw along ride -40000000000000000000000000000000000s beautiful sleeping face. "I love you my kitten… soon you will be mine…" it said as red -40 began to stir and then billy the cel leaped out of the window before it could be caught but it made sure to leave its SCENT behind to indoctrinate its lover into being with billy the cell forever… and evere…. and eveer….

As billy the cell raaway, it pheromones trailing behind it, it decided on its next victim… its mother father… and also its entire family… billy the cell will be the only person left for red- -40 to lean on for support and tat will indoctriante int into being loverboygirls forEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. FIVE ever even…

billy the cell entered red -40s mother father home and snuck sneakily like a burglar in a old cartoon to their bedrooms … it took out its killinator 3000 and /killed the whole family and all of them died dyingly. billy the cell cackled menacingly and took their faces as its trophyy s gifts for its 3 children… it skipped back home after viciously chopping the bodies up and keeping the meat to feed to its children and then began to cook up some skibidie breakfast for its family… luckily tide detergent chan has not yet returned from war so its can goon to femboy red -40 in peace…

but then… in the middle of cooking and gooning at the same time… its very unsanitary… tide detegtnetnt chan exploded into the doorframe and said "HONEYYYYYYYYY IM HOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" waking the kidsedly. billy the cell, goon in hand, whipped around to face tide detegetn chan and screampt because now it knows its secret… it killed like 95 people in the nameof cheating… "hello honey!!!!! oh wow is that your secret sauce!!!!!!!" tide detergent chan declared. oh wow. its so stupid. it doesn't even notice the massive red -40 twerkig video that was playing while billy the cell cooked. the sound of red -40s thunderthighs claps through the house and it continues to twerk while billy the cell stares down its husband wife, goon still in hand. nahhhhhhhh broooooo wtffffff.

tide detrergetn chan tenderly embrace billy the cell and said… "low-key like bro low-key I literally like almost hashtag literally died dyingly out there are you skibidi the alpha to see me honey bunches of oats?!!!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!/?!?!/ I love you/.." it whispered in billy the cells ear and began to join the group goon sesh.

bro some random ass kid just walked up to me and asked if I had gum like an addict asking for meth. like what the fuck was that???? I don't know you bro skedaddle on away freshie. imagine just walking up to some random stranger at school and asking for gum like its not that serious you got a nicotine addiction you gotta hold back or something???

tide detergent chan and billy the cell sat there staring at the roasting flesh and gooned to red -40 but low-key tide detergent chan didn't realize who it was and tide detergent chan kis just stupid ig. billy the cell chan decided to make a decision on making many decisions and making choices thatmight be choices and might make more descisions and have maybe some choices to make included. and that choice was… to kill tide detergent chan…

it grabbed the knife off the wall and began cutting thehuman and then… as tide detergetn chan ran up behind it, goon away, billy the cell stabbed tide detergetn chan 37 times in the chest. didn't tide detergetni chan get killed in a flashback like way back when in like chapter 4 maybe maybe thos was why it died. billy the cell threw its body its the mines to stage a mine accident and pretned that it didnt just stab it stabingly… it knew… that chicake nnoodle soup chan would be devastated…

Mean. with chicken noodle soup chan

it had finally decided when it got the news… just before it decided to indulge tide detergten chan masochistic habits and give in and uh like be enemies to lovers… tide detergetni chan died… there sas no doubt about it… when it died in the mines, chicken noodle soup chan made the descisions to never get another mines job… they were just too dangerous… "b billy the cell… a are you sure…?" tide detergent chan was dead but chicken noodle soup chan needed to hold on to hope… it walked on eggshells while talking to billy the cell becasue it knew they used to be married and tide detergetnt chan intedned to cheat on its husband wife with chicke nnoodle soup chan.

"yes king queen!!!!!!!!! Its like not popping off rn but like well slay he day away and itll all be skibidi!!!!!!" billy the cell said. oh real life frieand 390486 called me their discord kitten.

y yes alpha!!!! I ill hop on the call at o once!!!! p please alpha d don't hit me a agina!!!!! a alpha? y you want me to… bark for you??? o oh ok alpha!! w whatever you want w woof! d did I do it right? n no??? y you want me to b b ark more a aggressively? o ok alpha a anything for you!!!! ARF WOOF1!!!! Purrrrrrrrrrr y yes ii am a good little boy… I I love it when you pet me a alpha!!!! o oh! y you want me to… do femboyi ASMR for you? b but alpha! I I'm not an alpha… i im just a common discord kitty femboy… NO NO ALPHA PLEASE I IM SOWWY PWEASE ALFA PWEASE DONT BEAT ME AGAIN!!!!!!! I ILL DO D DOMINANT ALPHA ASMT FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey kitten~~~~~ I place my hand next to your head andd pin you to the wall. I I'm SOWWY alpha!!!! I d don't know how to be a dominant alpha!!!!!! I only know how to be a submissive little omega femboy!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA D DADDY!!! PLEASE D DONT!!!!!!!!! S STop… YOU MADE THAT MESS KING!!!!!!!!!!!! … YOU DID KING!!!!! A alpha… t thank you for teaching me better ways alpha… i i cant believe I ever disobeyed an alpha… like you daddy…

don't read that.

that was actually uh billy the cell as the dominant alpha and red -40 as the submissive omega femboy and maybe a bit of tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan because wait guys… which ones the dominant alpha and which ones the submissive omega…

chicken noodle soup chan began to fall to the floor and crumple to the floor… it never even got to profess its undying love to tide detergent chan…

anyways I think its obvious where this goes obviously chicken noodle soup chan dedicates its life to finding the cure to death and tieme travel to see tide detergetn chan one last time and tell it how it truly feels. and also chicken noodle soup chan never moves on and then a week later at the funeral tide detergetn chan miraculously comes back to life and thats becasue chicken noodle soup chan uh like killed God to put in the place of its dearly beloved so hades doesn't have to take tide detergent chan away from it. that's obviuosly how this goes obviously. but then chicken noodle soup chan realizes that wasnot necesary at all becasue tide detergent chan was sleeping.

well we'll get to all that next time kittens!!!!!!!!!!!! um this chapter is toodamn long right now so we gotta end it here im so SOWWY kittens UnU…

actually this chater is 12 thousand words and lowkey i wanna see how far i can push that.

chicke n noodle soup chan ran to its super sigma lab for usper sigmas and began formulating its plan… all it needed was a sims 4 death flower… ambrosia… and ome other random ass ingredients i dunno i havent played sims 4 in like forever 5ever even., chicken noodle soup chan gathered the ingreidentnts now… it will take a long trial of testing and erroring… and it would be easier… to kill the god of death… "genius idea me!!!!!!" chicken noodle soup chan scrmept as it leaped out of the window and skedaddled to the god of death where the god of deat lives… IN HELL DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

chicke nnoodle soup chan approached the door and jumped jumpingly to eget to the first - layer and begun its long journey to test its trength and curage in many a battle… next time on FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! see you soon my discord kittens!!!! study hall is ending righ now so this is all youre getting in the next update.

END FLASHBACK

Mean. in the present with Tide detergent chan.

"whats good gang." chicke nnoodle soup chan said as it entered the room tide detergent chan was sleeping in sleepingly. it stared at tide detergetn chans sleeping form and stood staring. "yo you good broski." chicke nnoodle soup chan said because tide detergent chan never sleeps becasue like uh like theyre objectws ad therefore they dont need to sleep. woah… theyre darkners… im on my deltarune era right now lowkey.

"hello kitten…" tide detergent chan said seductively as it rolled over in bed also seductively and propped itself up on 1 arm. chicke nnoodle soup chan licked its lips and then… it noticed noticingly… tide detergent chan was… PREGNANT?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!??!

"are you pregnant fatass?" chicken noodle soup chan asked kindly.

"no." tide detergent chan was deply offended and clutched its pearls and raised its fist to be an abusive husband wffe.

"it must be time for you autism test." chicken noodle soup chan suggested before it was brutally beat to death.

"yes master…" tide detergent chna grumbled becasue every damn time it has to take a pregnancy autism test… tide detergetn chan grabs the papers from its autism evalutation and pissed on them right in front of chicken noodle soup chan. neither of them had a piss kink so sadly this was gross. tide detergent chan looked at the results and… 2 blue lines intercorssing… "chicken noodle soup chan… im… SWEDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" tide detergent chan eclaimed excitedly. it has always wanted to be sweden.

"oh my god congratulations hney!!!!!!!!!!! OH my days we have to birth the baby immediately!!!!!!" chicken noodle soup chan said not knowing how sweden even works…

"dumbass." tide detergent chan said "im swden not pregnant." because it doesnt know how sweden works either. chicke nnoodle soup chan looked at ts husband wifes sweden belly and for just a moment it saw… the face of its worst enemy… but it stopped itself from swinging because thtas its husband wifes swedish belly right there… they decided to skedaddle to the hospital to tell their favorite doctor the nws that tide detergent chan is finally the country of sweden!!!!!!!!!!1

"dumbass youre pregnant not sweden." says the doctor doing a dna testedly???? do they do that? it doesnt matter this doctor is. "as your doctor, hatsune miku… oh BOO HOO HOO!" hatsune miku cired because it remembered that time transfem geroga washington came to the doctors office and miku was building up the courage to finally ask her one true love on a date when she realized taht she was tranfem and did hrt immediately in the room and then it just wasnt the right time… and NOW THERE NEVER WILL BE ONE BOOHOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO…… "anyways the mother father is…" DUNDUN DUN" you…"

"no shit sherlock im sweden." tide detergent chan said… unuderstandingly…

"URETHRA!!!!!!!!!!!! this baby must br form… the sexism arc" the look of horror on everyones faces was pricless because they were horrified at the realization. it was from when tide detergent chan cheated on its husband wife… with itself…. DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!1 is this incest? self cest. theres a name for this.

"oh my god tide detergent chan we have to tell your family!!!!!" chicken noodle soup chan excited!!!!!!

"oh like welll like they live kinda far away like…" tide detergetn chan said not wanting to talk to its family because theyre all freaks lowkey freaky ash. but then… suddenly… without warning… they wre all 3 teleported dramatically… ot ALABAMA SWEET HOME ALABAMA. but then they were teleported back becasue they forgot the kids and then they decided to go without them but they couldnt because they couldnt get sent to jail for neglect and truancy again so they had to take the kids smh my head. tune in next time for when the gang gets all back to gether and goes on a long ass road trip in the middle of our other concurent arc!!!!!!!!!!!!!! these 2 cannot occur at the same time but yet they will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i have 20 minutes leftin this class so actually its gona keep going chicken noodle soup chan lead tide detergent chan home because now that its sweden it cant do anything and needs to be treated like a faril fragile baby obviously. "hi the baby"says tide detergetn chan to the baby as they ran inside and also they didnt.

"Wassup gangalang ik the baby" the baby said as it b3gan to chant and float on its back and twitch a lot. It musy be being possessed… it screeched lioe it had been dqmned to hell onxe again

"Oh ok i didnt know you were chill like that 5he baby anti christ christ figure" said chicken noodle soup chan as it msde no attempt to stop 5his possession. Then the babh came back d2on like nothing happened and floated off into the distance to datcare probabl.

"Wait we actually dont have to take the kids we dont have custody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tide detergent remembered. It screamed at the top of its lungs in jot because it really hatws it children unkess thwyre trying 5o k8ll timm with 2 ms. Rwla as fuck though like

Then… tide deterg3n5 chan said…

Chapter Text

gang imgonna make it keep oing.

kittens did you see that shit with carlo Romero he was totally trying to scam us I'm gonna put the screenshots here. we thought it was a bot at first but then it actually emailed us and we were like oooooooooooh this is a real person!!!!!!! they're a scammer though so its ok.

I just realized that we have all of carlo Romero's contact info. We should look him up. genius

"I I love you kitten… but… w we must bring the children!!!!!! I I really fucking hate bily the cell and i need to influece them to hate it as well." tide detergetn chan said becasue it had been cut off by the chapter ending because I couldnt think of a better way to end it.

Oh of course that makes so much sense. we should abort the baby o actually don't want it because its giving self ccest." chicken noodlesoup chan said like a stupid fucking idiot. you're not timm with 2 ms be smarter.

"we cant abort the baby my lovely shmoopush kitten cheese… the supreme court judges who overturned roe v Wade havent been murdered by timm with 2 ms and bb bar with 3 bs yet." tide detergent chan said as It rubbed all up on its pregnant belly full of tide detergent. it was see throuhgh because it was just a membrane like those R34 slutty ass drawings of sans aus. "they need to fulfill the prophecy frist." at the mention of the prophecy, they immediately recited it becausethey had to because of some divine force beyond their comprehension. i am god now. "one day the wheel will ascend and that day will be the day that the end of the world begins unless 2 flesh cars can return it to earth and restore order to the universe. Also some self insert will knock down the twin towers again." but there was more and that's what the said in unison and this is how it continues… "also they have to kill the supreme court justices that overturned roe v wade and also nw… DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!1 woah guys the AI apolocylpse will happen soon an the super sigma flesh cars gotta like end it and by super sigma flesh cars i mean the self insert." and that… was the real full prophecy in its entirety…

"oh wow there more that's just great…" chicken noodle soup chan said as it turned around and ate a zombies head because by the way the zombie apolocyplse is still happening in the back ground. the little british "boy 'person'" didn't actually kill every zombie only like some of them. "oh look it's timm with 2 ms dog!!!!!! how cute" chicken noodle soup chan said as besil omori frothier and foamed at themouth becasue it has rabies.

"bri'ish!!!! would ou care for a cuppa??" basil omori britished and then dug into the zombie flesh and gobbled that shit up all good. MM MM MMMMMMM I just love thetease of rotting human flesh. that is what basil omori thinks in its mind but it cant say because british "people" cant speak as we all know. they're animals.

kittens… my real life friend… they said hear me out tp… SUSIE DELTARUNE BRO SHES 15?!?!!?!??!?!!?!?? EW EW EW EW EW dont worry kittens they didnt know but then… THEY HELD THEIR GROUND????? they said as a crush because that means theyre relatively the smae age because susie deltarune is like 14-16 or so but thats still WERID AS HELLL. putting you on blast real life friend 394586243986 you know who you are. they read this by the way ive been making them.

basil omori sat down in the grass and chewed on hos favorite snack, beating human hearts, while tide detergtneht chan and chicken noodle soup chan argued about whether or not to illegally abort the baby. tide detergent chan wants to stay sweden. LEASE IM SWEDEN I HAVE ALWAYDS WANTED TO BE SWEDEN!!!"tide detergent chan screamed as it roblox (ew) morph magiced into the country of sweden and it kept the baby bump and thats why there so many mountains in sweden (are there i dont know ive never been to sweden i assume theres mountains because its like near norway right. thats might be finland though i always mix them up. yea its sweden i looked it up becasue i have access to the internet andthe internet is alwasy right.)

wow kiteens its sweden. that is tide detergent chan by the wat. "YOU ARE NOT SWEDEN YOIU ARE PREGANTN T AND I AM AORTING THE BBAY BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON MY WITH YOURSELF WHORE." chicken noodle soup chan screamed while basil ate his og food in the ba kground.

"HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!! I NEVER TREATED ME THUS WAY." tide detergent chan screamed back "ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT YOUR THING WITH RED 40?!?!?!??!?!!?!? YOU WANTED TO START A ATHROUPLE WITH MY EX HUSBAND WIFES AFFAIR PARTNER, SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" tide detergent chan cried and the baby in its belly realized… its parents… are freaksssss…

"WELL WE WERE YURI LESBIANS AT THE TIME SO FUCK YOU LESIBIAN PHOBE." chicken noodle soup chan stormed off to find evil pheonix wrong because… "I WANT. . . . . . A DIVORCE!!!"

tide detergent chan gasped i shock and fell to the floor in shock and basil omori licked its head to comfort it and also becasue tide detergent chans head lice tastses really good or something. then… uncaring about the uncaring world around it… tide detergent chan stood up and walked into the house and… got the hashtag gun and hashtag killed itself… in depression…

but then… realizing its mistake… chicken noodle soup chan uns back to tide detergent chans arms andopens the door to see… "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" chicken noodle soup chan scremot "NO TIDE DETEREGNT CHAN IM SORRY I ALWAYS LOVED YOU YOU CAN STAY BEIGN SWEDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then in a desperate act of desperate desperation.,.. chicken noodle soup chan kissed tide detergetn chan violentlylong he lips because the only thing that will save it is true loves kiss or whatever… and then… tide detergent chans eyes dramatically open and…

"what's good my gangalang." tide detergent chan said… as if nothing had skibidi happened… "and then… the baby hashtag burst from its permeable membrane. and tide detergent chan did not react at all becauseobviously giving birth doesnt hurt and its like practically nothing and does absolutely no effect to the body obviously." Cecil nightvale narrated. he would not fucking say that.

kittens carlo romero senpai hasn't responded to my email yet :((((((( . Don't worry we have his discord, Twitter, Instagram, and email. He'll come around. H hell love me someday!!!!!!

guys would it get flagged by the school if i looked up yanderes for my discord profile picture. I need to make a burner account to contact him. I I just NEED too get into contact with my lovely amazing s senpai!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna make a gacha life thing. I feel like I had 3 of them planned and I've only done 2 but I forget what the other one was. eh whatever I'll figure it out later I don't have internet right now. Use the zane nijago account you made. I would but I don't remember the password anymore. tsk tsk tsk. you're so right how dare I. :pensive: Why can't you do this on your phone. Maybe just look up anime girls. I don't have internet on my phone I have internet on my chromebook hmmmmmmmm that feels dangerously close to gooner territory i wouldnt be surprised if it got flagged. Put like sfw or something or cute i don't think they look for whole setnences or whaetever I think if an individual word that is blocked yets looked up it gets flagged and you get called down to the office. /magical hmmmmmmmmm maybe… it's probably just be easier to ait till I get home. do you remember if we were gonna make another gacha video. I feel like I had planned another but I don't remember if I'm crazy or not. Ya you were planning one. Also try looking up Fern from Frieren that's an anime girl. Just like Photoshop a knife on her to make her yandere. If you still wanna do stuff here. shes not evil and crazy enough looking smh my head. Give her a knife and red eyes then. gemnius I just had a wonderful idea. we gotta do something stupid with zodiac signs. ok

"oh good golly tide detergent chan I thought you died!!!!!! I assumed based on the massive gaping hole in the middle of your fa ce that's totally exists!!!!!!" chicken noodle soup chan said. "its giving pet sematary." and then… in a crazy unexpected accident… that wasn't expected at all… and no one could have guessed would occur… tide detergent chan.,.. the baby explODED o ut of the see through permeable membrane. did i write this already. ignore the other part if i did. and the blue translucent goop sloshed and slopshed everywhere as baby tidee detergent chan said its first little baby words…

"KILL YOUSELF!!!!!!!!!" said the newborn and I think that pretty accurately represents this whole story. the new baby was all glooby and shit just like tenna the TV from T V TIIIIME!!!!!! was not ever glooby. NEVER glooby. it was covered in translucent goo just like sans and fell sand because they had graphic sex or something I dunno. the newborn baby was gloobya and made out of goop. the ball of translucent vaguely human shaped slime was actually tide detergent chan with out the exoskeleton that gives it its beautiful magnificent form.

"oh wow. can you actually kill yourself first you are hgihly disturbing to look at and I hate you." tide detergent chan said and also chicken noodl soup chan said in unison becasue they both hate the baby. and then the other 2 babies fly into the room. So I made some possible images for your profile picture:

Y

IPPE YIPPE YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant see them. OH YIPPEE I SEE THEM NOW!!!!!!!!!! OH WOW THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm using this I'm gonna steal it and give credit tbut im just gona say credit to artist and not actually link the artist in the description.

"hi I'm the baby I got back from the daycare because they werent praising our Lord and saviour me-sus Christ." says the baby as the other baby who is no the Christ anti Christfigure , the one that donald trump britherd, sat there studiously and shit. that one was neon orange and it enjoyed building walls and beating up minorities with police forces. and also it really liked guns. it took after its fathers in many ways except t hat in the way tat dont worry gang it will be a transgender in the future. we hate cisgenders. In case you couldn't tell. we also hate women. fun fact, as a trans man, all transgen transition because they hate women and they think me n are just better in every way and its becasue of sexism that transmen exist and that als o why trans women exists becasu theyre all like, every single one by the way, they all say I cant get no bitches so I'll just transition to female because it'll be easier to get some hoes as one of themfemales. andthat's why trans people exist,. nonbinary people actually exist because. guys don't let Fox news get a hold of this one. the exist because they are also sexist because uh they hate men andwomen equally and uh like uhm they like say that they should all die and all we should be left with is the far superior third gender which obviously ist superior becasue men are just always better and superior in every way obviously. /j guys slash jay can you tell its a joke I'm not being serious trust I don't actua;;y believe this slash jay guys!!!!!!!!!

and then obviously, because it thinks men are superior, the orange trump baby transitions to male trasnmasculinely. "I love Fox news" he says as his first words. this is obviously included because of the woke left is controlling me and forcing me to write wokewness into my very conservative republican story with a lot of right wing values and they hate that and they make mewrite the w w w w w w woke!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I HATE WOKE!!!!! I HATE WOEK!!!!!! IM ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 MORE MINUTES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

and then… all thebabies merged into one being except they didnt but they did skip together off to the daycare.

BUT WAIT…

"chicken noodle soup chan we cant bgo to alabama to see my family yet we hav to win back custody of the children sadly even though i dont reeeeeaally want custody but dual custody would be ok i gguess." said tide detergent chan becasue i lowkey forgot about that arc.

"oh yeah"

interlude…

dean(who tf is Dean) looked at his phone on the stream and his face immediately became a big bright beautiful smile. his one true love, Charlie Kirk had texted him… but he was on stream so obviously he couldnt hashtag go get fucked in the ass right now… even tough he may really really want to.

oh that was just his little skibidi discord kitten obviously guys." the chat said correctly. but they got it in thewrong order. dean was kirk little skibidi discord kitten.he began to mew and 67 as in a attempt to look super sigma for his alpha. then… suddenly… his alpha joined the discord call?!!?!?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??

"hello kitten…" Charlie Kirk said through the microphone. "you're looking extra breedable today kitten…have you kept yourself fertile for me…" lcharlie Kirk asked as he licked his lips in the middle of his debate at the Utah university…

"oh yes alpha!!!!! I've been extra fruitful lately!!!!!!!" dean exclaimed as he rubbed his pregnant belly with Charlie kirks babies. he had no idea that he would have to raise them alone so very soon. "but… alpha… i would like if we werent forbidden yaoi… but… i know ourpolitical parties… would never allow it…" dean sighed.

"daddy trumpy doesn't want me dating other omegas, dean… you know this kitten… its bad enough an omega got another omega pregnant… but its even worse that m m m m my alpha… is Donny boy trumpy poo…" Charlie Kirk said connecting the unriversely. and then… as dean began to formulate a witty reply for his alpha omega beta… he heard a gunshot shoot through the otherline…

"A ALPHA!!!!! A ARE YOU OK?!!!???!!?!?!? UwU!!!!!!" dean began meowing aggressively in fear thathis big dog was gone and his massive girthy dick is gone forever… but he thought quickly about something else or he was on a skibidi stream adn they couldnt know about his forbidden yai with Charlie Kirk…

oh wow that's wild as fuck low-key I didn't know yall were like chill like that someone in chat said knowingly becasue they totally didnt hear all that totally.

"d daddy???" dean whithers creid growing increasingly worried as his alpha didnt reply. his preganncy hormones grew more and more crazy. he uncontrollably pheromoned becasue his alpha was not rspondogn…

"k kitten…" he heard from the other line. "t take caree… of our p puppies… for me…" charlie krik said final wordsedly…

"N NOOOOOOOOOOO D DADDY PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!! Y YOUR CHILDRE NNEED TO GROW UP WITH 2 FATHER WHERE 1 IS EVIL AND HATES EVERYONE AND EVERYTHIG AND TE OTHER IS RCTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" dean screamed becasue he had been kinda lowkey plannig a trip to utah to spend with his alpha for a while. he is only 8 months pregnant… h he never even wanted this baby… he wanted to abort it… but… ch charlie was so aggresively against abortion that dean had to carrry it… them… he remembered… its quintuplets… his pregnant belly grew 5 times in size as he remembered that there are 5 of them in there… ill admit guys i dont know diddly jack about dean whithers except that hes like debated charlie kirk before.

dean scrambled out of the chair not caring about the uncaring stream around him as they all aggresivly flooded the comments with OH THANK KFUCKING GOD THAT LITTLE BITCH IS DEAD!!!!!!!1's and dean ran quickly to charlie kirk where he was sleeping on the stage at his "kind hearted " debate dean grabed huis one true loves haead as his eyes drifted closed and te kight left them… his soul is gonenow… deans pregnant belly shifted maliciously at the knowledge that they will now grow up without a father…

dean kissed charlie kirk one last time as he floated out of his arms as corpses do and dean was left crying on the stage all alone with his pregnant belly vilently shifting underneath him… theatening to burst as babies do… and then suddenly… as dean picked himself up off the stage and began to plan charlie kirks funeral for his forbidden yaoi lover… the babies all crawled out of his as s at the same time and they all birthed themselves like spiders and crawled around deans head becasue they knew… they would never meet their father so they all cried mournfuly…

"i its ok k kittens…" dean said to his babies who are kittens becasue he was always a catboy and his tail swishd aggressivley behind him just as it used to do when he had aggressive malicious sex with charlie kirk. his one true love, who he would never SEE AGAAAAAAIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!! but dean knew… that an omega like himself… could not survive taking care of 5 newborns by himself… he needed an alpha to support him …6 babies… he thought revising his earlier statement becasue one of the babies split off into 2 smaller ones through binaryy fission. as all babies do.

"daddy daddy daddy daddy!!!!!!" all the babbyies screamed in unison as they looked around sllemnly for their second father… dean scrambled after the helicopter that took his one true love away from his in a desperate act of desperation and then… when he caught up to the helicopter with his desperate omega super speed that lets him fyl in the air… he sat down next to Charlie Kirk and gave him one final gift before he left it the after life… he gave him true loves kiss… and becasue dean was so desperate.. he knew what he had to do… he grabbed a baby that had done binary fission and sacrificed it to the almighty wheel to make it bring back is one true love. he did this ritual again… and again… and again… and agaiann/… and again… until there were no more babies left… before he relaized… the wheel would ever give his beloved back… he was truly all on his own… and then… in his depreession he sacrificed himself for the wheel in an act of an eye for an eye to bring back the one who didnt deserve to go… his truly dearly beloved… and then… as his bleeding corpse laid flat on charlie kirks body… with the 6 babies surrounding them alll… Charlie kirks eyes opened… onto the disgusting scene of carnage…

"N NOOOOOO K KITTEN!!!!!!!!!" Charlie Kirk cried as e shook his little omega to make him come back to him… but it was no use… the dead was already done… and dean had sacrificed himself for him… charlie kirk silently tanked dean before… he decided he would rather die with dean… than live in this uncaring world around him…

and Charlie Kirk jumped off of the helicopter… and as he was falling… the shooter shot again…

END INTERLUDE…

I should be studying for a math test I have next period instead im gonna write something while whatever tf is going on up there is being written.

Mean. with… idk man i haven't thought this through uummmm y/n. do the manus archives arc. ok

…set sometime during season 4 maybe after Jon got Daisy out of the Buried idk.

[The Archivist]

Oooooo, Daisy look I finally found was of the batshit insane statements I was talking about. Look!

Now lets see, Statement of Barbb with 3 bs, ah yes if memory serves me she is one of the siblings in this fake family, regarding a face on top of faces in her school. Statement given September 22, 2025, of course, see you can tell that this is from them due to the obviously fake name, and it being a date that hasn't happened yet, lovely.

Statement Begins.

Hello Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institue, London. Now believe it, or not Jon, my family is not known for being mentally stable.

[The Archivist]

Statement paused.

(no shit sherlock)

Statement resumed.

[The Archivist]

*eletricuted sounds*

[The Different Voice]

Don't worry guys Jon's fine I just can't think of anything right now so you'll get the rest of this in the next chapter

[Daisy]

*growls*

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

*electricuted sounds*

Mean. with John. the period is included in the name

I am standing in an abandoned warehouse. There is no physical description given of what I look like, but you know it is me. John. the period is included in the name due to the scene change thing, whatever it's called. I wait in that abandoned warehouse carrying a briefcase with many locks on it as I wait for my correspondant to arrive. The briefcase is shaking and fidgeting in my handss ominously, and no amount of description given can help you guess what's inside it.

Suddenly the ground catches fire and a familiar unfamiliar car appears. A man steps out of the car, and walks up to me. I know who he is(obviously since I set up the meeting), but you don't and I need to keep you in suspense for longer. And the man says, "Yo, what up John. the period is included in the name, you got the goods" the man says this like a drug deal is about to go down. It's giving Breaking Bad.

The man then gestures to my briefcase.

"Of course, Marty McFly"I reply because I want to get this deal done with.

"Great,"Marty says replying to my reply. "You sure that thing you got in there knows how to fix the flux capacitor, because I'm pretty sure that needs like radium or some shit."(I would like the jury to know its been quite sometime since I've seen back to the future. I saw the musical vaguely recently (Actually no that wasn't recent at all it was in the summer, wow). It was really good if you every get a chance to see it you should. There was this one recourring joke where when Doc sang a bunch of backup dancers would appear, and him and Marty would be like I have know idea where those people came from. Also at the end of the show they made a reference to the place we were seeing it. Which was pretty cool. I haven't been to a musical that's done that before. )

After I reassure Marty again I unlatch the brief case and slide it towards the car. The briefcase is shaking very aggressively now, and in one quick movement the briefcase burst open, and a blue blur jumps around the DeLorean.

Okay guys

Place your bets on what it is!!!

That includes you , The Voice. it must be the sticky gooey baby that was born like 8 paragraphs ago. or its kris deltarune

Are you ready? YES YES YES YES MASTER SHOW US ALL WHAT IT IS yes master land on. I'm drawing cymbal line leader as a pregnant femboy furry twink did you see that

"SPACESHIIIIIPPPP,"the blur shrieks and as nobody guessed the blur is none other than …SPACESHIP GUY (Also known as Benny who tf is benny) from The Lego Movie. This idea came to me late last night, like a vision (Bro you know this shits wild when I start dreaming about sin.exe plotlines). Spaceship guy repairs the DeLorean because as it was seen at the end of the first back to the future movie the DeLorean can fly which makes it technically a spaceship.

"Y'know we haven't discussed any payment yet…" Marty McFly says, I know he's lying because as stated in the contract I signed off screen. If I brought in Spaceship Guy to fix the DeLorean, then I would be allowed to use the DeLorean once (1). But little does Marty know I will actually use the DeLorean more than once to rectcon this story out of existance and free myself from this torture. Marty also doesn't know that he is now an established character in the story and will now be used to retcon anything so the plot ''works''. (gotta add him to the tags now)

After playing the hit game Farkle Flip with Marty McFly to kill time while Spaceship Guy fixed the Delorean, it was time. I got into the DeLorean and Marty McFly got into the passenger seat. Marty turns to look at me and I tenderly cup his face in my hand queerbaitily. Then I pull out my Glock 18 and shoot Marty in the head so nobody knows what's about to happen. But don't worry he'll be back he's Schrödinger's Marty and will be alive the next time he's mentioned.

All that is left to do is set the date and I do just that. I set it to Febuary 19, 2025.

The day sin.exe was created.

how in the hell did you remember the exact date we started wrting the document bro

You emailed it to me and I never deleted the email so I just looked at the day it was sent, and I assume you sent it to me the day it was made. Oh ok

oh shit her writings fire?!!?!??!?!!?!?? oh my days this been going on for 9 months. a baby could have been born in that amount of time

Imagine a child whose exact birthday is the day sin.exe was created, horrifying.

mean. with y/n…

as the bell ksibidi rung for 2nd period, you hopped anit ai-edly out of the room and skipped joyously to your next class. you entered your court mandates civic law class that you have right after criminal law because they're both court mandates, and you see… not 1… not 2… not 3,… not 4… but THREE DISGUSTING C C C C C CLANKERS sitting in your class…in your blind rage you immediately begin to plot to destroy them all… but then… they say "transgender transgender I'm transgender"… in a battle between hatred for AI and w w w woke… you force yourself to sit in your seat instead of immediatley murdering the tinskins in cold blood… but sadly… you're sitting directly behind all 3 lumps of metal… pile of papers kun who is also in this class but its not court mandates for it looks at you and begs you with its eyes that definately exist to not kill them all for no reason.

you drill your eyes into the backs of their metal skulls hoping desperately that your immense hatred for wire back metal loving CLANKERs like them would kill them immediately… but your hopes were to no avail… as you continued your evil plotting and scheming to kill them instantly with no trace of that it was you who did it… the teacher said… "I'm sims 4 characters number 2 and somehow I have 5 children that I (cisgender F) birthed with my cisgender lesbian wife I don't know how that happened but trust me bro it did." said the teacher who was also my sims 4 characters from 2 years ago. and then… she shut the door… but the guy who says DONT YOU FUCKING DARE SHUT THAT DOOR YOU PIECE OF SHIT was too slow before she was locking it and… DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN shes a vampire!!!!!!! adn then…

the teacher… LUNGED at the students and sucked the blue blood out of the tin skins tin skin… no one was particularly mad about this except the other despicable CLANKERs who don't bleed the same color but thats ok because you have a fool proof plan to kill all of them anyways… first… you will thrash them… and THEN… they will lose!!!!!!!!! its a fool proof 2 step plan… and no one has had the idea before ever…

"dont do it y/n" you heard pile of papers kun say from the corner of the room where it hid away from the teacher becasue even though its a teachers petlike the teacher just ate a student so like

and then… as the Detroit become human blue blooded freak fell to the floor you dealt the final killing blow and stole the teachers kill… you immediately and swiftly and gracefully and humanly and awesomely stole the metal munchers thirium regulator… instantly killing it instantly… you watched as it blue screened before the other 2 androids began to advance on you… but luckily for you and unluckily for them… you have just the best and perfect idea for this scenario because youre a genius and better than everyone else and they should all really be bowing down to you. just like in the olden days of yesterday. pile of papers kun looks at you disagreeable with its minds eye.

oh wait I gotta do my steel band thing I'll be right back gangalang. i didnt finish it.

as the clankers approached you used your super galaxy the alpha super mega mind powers to blast them away with your gacha life hated child skibidi powers. they flew backwards violently and crumpled into metallic lumps against the wall. as everyone began to clap for your heroism (except pile of papers kun because its a little stupid hater boygirl), you jumped on top of one of the metal munchers and ripped it to shreds violently and stole the parts to sacrifice to the wheel in a show of displeasure for what humanity has done… god did not create these freaks in its image… the sacrifice will be a glorious way to show the almighty al holy wheel that its gloious creations are attempting to play god and they need to be stopped… the wheel will surely be receptive to your plight. why do so many bots and scammers keep commenting on our fanfic? we aren't making this for disgusting AI freaks to read we want real people to read it. everyone's trying to scam us on the webstie recently like actually we've gotten like 3 bot and scam comments in the past tweek. we usually get no comments at all so its low key concerning. real people comment we hate AI!!!!!!!!!!! be fr no real people are reading this far like

as you scavange the corpses of the AI FREEEEEAAAAAAKS freaky :tongue out: :tongue out: :tongue out: you sit back in your seat and everyone clapped because you are just the saviour of the entire world and you're just better like that.

"ladies ladies!!!!! please one at a time!!!!!" you say as no one surrounds you and then they all look away awkwardly and now they all hate you but that's chill as hell because you have no sense of shame and you'll do whatever the hell you want. pile of papers kun emabrassedly makes it obvious that you aren't related to each other at all becase you weird as hell and pile of papers kun has a reputatin lowkey. obviously though you begin to make a plot to kill all of these evil evil people who are being haters… you should boil them in a pot of acid… that would be fun low-key… and as you just finish plotting,… the bell rings for 3rd period… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR LET YOU PLOT ASS HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pile of papeers kun runs away from you as fast as possible so the other students don't think you're related or something.

you plottingky rush up the stairs for your math class with… Mr. oaks… you have heard zero reviews about him which is always a bad thing. you enter the class room and take your seat in front of mr the teacher when he begins to pull up the slideshow…you whip out your notebook and begin writing the notes as fast as you possibly can but he goes too fast y you need to train more to catch up with his masterful flipping through the slides at a rate at which not a single person can write down all the notes… he doesn't wait for anyone and as soon as hefinishes reading one slide he is immediately skipping to the next one in mere milliseconds… it leaves no time to breath and through the entire class not a single person actually gets all of the notes.

as the end of the lesson approaches you walk up to mr. oaks, noticing that a man clearly flashed beneath his face before immediately not being there anymore, and you kindly ask if he posts the slides because you actually got jack shit. he talks like a medicine commercial guy. "sir do you post the slides you went through that presentation like you didn't want usto know the side effects of your new drug that causes cancer like" you say but you were abruptly cut off by mr. asshole.

"no bro kill yourself like-" Mr. oaks says because he don't give a fuck "if you're absent YOURE responsible for finding the notes yourself you have to take responsibility for your own learning and I refuse to slow down for just one person. we DO leave children behind." he said like a little bitch boy. and your jaw drops in shock at the bluntness of his words. he does not GIVE A FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 about his students. they could explode while he's teaching for all he cares. he just wants a paycheck which is real as hell but like if you cant be bothered to teach the class well don't be a teacher??? at this evil evil ness of evil teacher ness, you obviously decided immediately to plot to murder him as soon as possible because he's a bitch. but then you have to rush to your next period class just before you were able to wrap your hands around his throat and strangle him to death. you run to your next period but decided to find bbarb with 3 bs first because like shes your only semi competent sibling and you reeeeeaally need to kill some people.

"White picket fences

Barbed wire and trenches

Trick or treat, merry Christmas

Howdy neighbor, thank you Jesus

What is he building in that painted lady

A participation trophy wife or blonde, blue-eyed baby

Wide-eyed and wired

The snap-crackle-pop of the Geiger

Camouflage billboards for lead-lined Brooks Brothers

You elbow the jukebox and sing "Duck and Cover"

And breed out our incisors, feed on white wine and Pfizer

It don't look like survival, but buy now or die

Suburbia

You're not alone

The lights are on

But no one's home

So, welcome home

Meyers-Briggs, OK-ULTRA

Takes a village to fake a whole culture

Your ear to the playground, your eye on the ball

Your head in the gutter, your brains on the wall

Home is where the heart is

You ain't homeless, but you're heartless

It's the safest on the market

But you still gotta watch where you park it

So give me your half-life crisis

I can tell that you know where paradise is

Where parasites don't care what your blood type is

Only pheromones and serotonin decide

If it's true that a snowflake only matters in a blizzard

Everyone knows that nobody knows that

Everybody's all up in my, everybody's all up in my

Everybody's all up in my business

Suburbia

Where you belong

The lights are on

But no one's home

So, welcome home

Chameleon peacocks are talk of the town

Well word gets around on

Hit Number Stations

He cums radiation

The dog bites the postman while basement eyes dream

Of a night at the drive-in with an AR-15

I dropped my eyeballs in the bonfire, we fucked on a bed of nails

I caught Kuru from your sister and died laughing in jail

Smell those screaming teenage sweetbreads on the 4th of July grill

Smile and wave, boys, kiss the cook

Live laugh and love, please pass the pills

It's only culture, it's only culture

It's only culture, sulfur, smoke, and soot

You learned to torture house cats, like vultures

You cocked and sucked your lack of empathy

Pulled the trigger with your foot to prove you've got

Blood, didn't they want your blood

So why apologize for being blue and cold

Blood, didn't they want your blood

So don't apologize for being blue and cold

It's only culture, it's only culture, it's only

Culture's not your friend

Hey, fuck your culture, I ain't got no culture

It's only culture, and it's more afraid of you than you are of it

Go on, drink that

Blood, didn't they want your blood

So why apologize when you turn blue and cold

Blood, didn't they want your blood

So don't apologize for being blue and cold

Were you Nabokov to a Salinger

Were you Jung to Freud or Dass to a Leary

Were you mother, daughter, subject, and author

You don't make the rules, you just write them down and

Do it by the book you throw around

Do you know the difference between blazing trails and slash-and-burn

Going against the grain and catching splinters

You pull out your Rorschach like a paint-by-numbers treasure map

The ink upon on your jigsaw piece traces you back to your fingerprints

Well Lot he had his lot in life, Job his job and I guess you'll too, and die

The Lord looked down, said, "hey, you're only mortal"

Giveth and taketh away 'till things come out a certain way

Leave you wondering when they might go back to normal

Leave you wondering why they can't have just been normal" (Suburbia Overture, Will Wood).

I love that song guys I'm doing a English assignment on it right now. AP Lang easy as hell my teacher doesn't even do anything. guys im gonna kms.

anyways

Mean. with pile of papers kun

pile of papers kun is all like woah bro that was fucking wild my sibling is a weird ass hell whaaaaaaat as it rushes to its 3rd period class, AP US history honors because its a little smartass. it arrives at the class and sits in the front row as close to the teachers desk as possible and reads a book before class starts to show that is is a good studious little student and the teacher will have no problems with it. as the class starts every single person erupts into a chorus of "SIX SEVEEEN!!!!!" and pile of papers kun promptly kills itself via impaling itself on the gun in its pocket that everyone carries around. except it didn't kill itself and it only reeeeeaally wanted to because everyone around pile of papers kun is a little bitch ass annoying ass and they are annoying. and then they began mewing just like mew and Mewtwo didwhich i think is an outdated meme at this point but i dont care really.

and then the teacher entered the room… "hello my sigmars" said teacher who's was actually EVIL teacher. because he was evil and due to the immense amount of brainrot, pile of papers kun could immediately feel its braincells deteriorating. "I… am STEVE." says little brainrot girl because I guess this is what were doing now. "welcome to APUSH and in this class you will learn all about femboy Georgia Washington who transitioned into o transefm Georgia Washington and also Miku binder Thomas Jefferson who was bisexual and also Alexander Hamilton who did drag,. and that's like about it I think also by the way every single US president goons to femboys is actually a requirement of the job. at some point next week we will meet with transfem Georgia washington in class if she ever responds to my text messages…" says Hatsune Miku because she is barbie and has every job also shes in denial that gerogia washington died and sacrificed herself twice i think???????????. at this pile of papers kun put its head in its hands and resigned itself to a long fate of not learning anything in any of its classes because everyone is clinically insane.

and then… as pile of papers kun resigned it self… it saw… written on the desk… "LEO LIKES BIG BLACK COCK." oh my God… pile of papers kun knew… that it had to find the culprit who did this… but… as it began to plot to find this person… pile of papers looked up at the teacher… and saw in her eyes and alsI her face… another face moving and shimmering underneath it… but pile of papers kun didn't get time to think about this because then… the door knocked… and it swung open to reveal… TH TH TH TH THUNDERFANG?!!?!??!?!!?!??!! ILL KILL MYSELF pie of papers kun screams in its mind in hated of its sibling that it wishes it never had. "H HOI!!!!!!!" thunderfang cried qas they entered the froom even though theywere a disgusting freshie and therefor could not possibly be in this class. "I is this pronoun class my little pogchamps?"IT said.

no kill yourself pile of papers kun saI'd but it didnt say becausr its nonconfrontational. "how bout you kill yourself." teacher Hatsune Miku said for it.

"g guys??? the that's not so poggers!!!!" thunderfang said in a gasp of swhock and awe… a campaign of shock and awe one may say… no they wouldn't

and then as thunderfang ran out of the room everyone scrempt… "shut it pronouns" in a homosexual transgender way because no one I this story except for that dusgitsting cissie timm with 2 Ms is a cisgender. and then they all went back to watching the teacher as theyheard from down the hall…

"BAAAAAAAAAAAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" form thunderfang because like theyre a little bitch and we all hate them but heyre a freshman so I guess it makes sense and ts a little excusable. one of my freshman friend reads this story. bro some clarinet in the grade above me dated a freshman over the summer so I mean I guess by that time she was technically a sophomore but like that's wried as fuck bro. don't date freshmen guys!!!!!!!! its giving super senior!!!!!!!! because like he almost definitely liked her when she was a freshman too so that just fucking weird. like its genuinely at least a 2 year age gap between them and in high school that's a lot. outside of high school like in the real world that's a lot more acceptable that's the age gap between my parents but like its its the maturity gap. there's a big fucking difference in how you act when you're a freshman and when you're a junior or a senior. even freshman to sophmore is a pretty big jump. I genuinely think its wrong to date a freshman if you're not a freshman. a freshman last year told me they had a crush on me for some reason (over discord text by the way absolutely wild( also like we weren't even friends like they texted me on discord about their cats and what they had for lunch and my repies were always oh thats cool! yea ok! wow! so like that was justweirdI even if they werent a freshman)) and I truend them down because they were a freshman and also because that'sweird and also becasue im aroace and also becasue we werent even friends and also becasue they were a cringe and aso becasue I didn't wanna and also because of like a million different reasons. but like I think people who date freshman even as sophomores are weird. I dunno it just feels wrong. it feels like they're just dating like a middle schooler like. guys am I getting my point across. were did this train of though t come from?????? anyways gang back to the skibidi story

oh wait you know how it really went down so like the person said "hi so like I think you can tell this but I like you" and I said "yes we're friends" and FIVE MINUTES LATER I deleted it and said "oh shit I'm so sorry Im autistic I didn't get what you meant I'm so sorry I aroace I don't like you back I'm so sorry" and they said "oh yeah that's what I thought" which like ok????? what does that mean????? I'm Retty sure like 5 people told them I'm aroace too and by 5 people I mean 1 who is my friend and then they said "well can we still be friends?" and I said "ok sure" and we haven't spoken since because its awkward as hell. and you know what several weeks before this my one band aquantance told my band friend that someone in the band liked me and like had a crush on me and my friend told me but she didn't know who it was so I was like "wait bro what did he say who was It I need to know so i can avoid this person" but apparently she didn't see who he guy pointed to in their gym class so we just kept trying to figure it out and everyone refused to tell me. and then they told me all this shit that like they had a crush on me in discord message while I was actively on a call with my friends and they watched the whole thing go down. and also honestly I REAAAAALLY didn't wanna keep being friends with them. i didnt wanna be friends with them to begin with I never really liked them honestly so I guess it all worked out for me and no one else except now badn is reallyawkward becasue I think theyre still in it and i kept looking for them so i knew where to avoid but i never saw them and i was so on edge in band camp like. pretty sure they were a flag but they mightve quit.

oh my god on this topic my one friend kepts telling me that she was in lvoe with this girl in one of her classes last year and i was like ok buddy youve spoken to her 3 times you sound like a yandere. but she kept being like oh my god can i join you with bing aroace love is complicated!!!!!! and i was jus tso uncofmortable as she went on and on about her yrui. becasue like theres a difference between being in love with some one and having a crush on them right those are 2 very different things. maybe im crazy but when she kept going like "i wanna join the aroace team so i dont have to deal with this" it was just so weird and lowkey uncomfortable becasue like i dunno maybe im too woke but it really wasnt that funny yknow. she also think i dont care about sin.exe which i think is stupid becasue if i didnt care aboutit i wouldnt do it. i dunno it belittleing when she tells me that i put no effort into this when really the effort goes into making it as bad but also as semi coherent as posible. it might not be the most hgih effort thing ever but i really care about the document and i put as much effort as i can into making it at least a little funny sometimes hopefully but mostly just stupid.

anyways gang back to the skibidi story

"today were gonna learn aout the history of the skibid toilets!!!!" said hatsune miku becasue her job as a doctor fired her becasue of sexism. and then i ran out of ideas for this segment so the bell actially rang right then. i would have dream sans burst into class but i dont want it to get too repetitive. oh and also hatsune miku poulled out a skibidi skeleton for the domeonstration by the way. oh wait I got an idea the bell actually didn't ring yet actually.

"so this was a traditional song from theskibidi toilet species.. here it goes…" and hatusne mikue began to sig the song herself…

"HEY MY SKIBIDIS IM THE TOILET

THERES A HEAD COMING OUT. OF MY TOIELT

BUT WATCH OUT SKIBIDIS THE CAMERAS COMING

YOU DONT WANNA GET CAUGHT

Camer:

GET OUT SKIBIDI IM THE CAMERA

ILL KILL YOU NOW

I WAS IN GMOD.

FUN FACT SKIBIDIS MY NAMES CAMERA

Purple they:

SHUT UP CAMERA IM HE WOKER

I KILLED THOSE KIDS IN MY FUR SUIT

YEA YEA IT WAS A FUR SUIT

IM PURPLE THEY AND THIS SONG RHYMES REALLY WELL

IM THE ONE WHOS PUREPLE AND I KILED THE KIDS.

IM WITH SKIBDI TOILET

Sin.exe:

UH OH GUYS I DIDNT HAVE A RAP FOR THIS IM NOT A SKIBIDI WHAT AM I DOING ERE????

W W WELL I GUESS I SHOUK J J J UST GO WITH IT!!!!!!!!

IM SIN.EXE.

I MADE THE DOCUMENT.

IT WAS DIFFICUTL TO PUT THE ARCS TOGHERER.

BUT UNFORTUNATELY. SOMETHUING WENT SO WRONG. AND NOW I CANT DO ANYTHING BUT SING THIS STUPID SONG

MY NAME IS SIN.EXE SIn.EXE SIJ.EXE sin.EXE

I LOVE PURPLER THEY AND MY KNEES HURT!!!!!!!!!

Nature:

HI GUYS IM THE TREES AND I SPEAK FOR THEM BUT IM NOT THE LORAX!!!!!!!

YOU MAY THINK I AM BUT IN NOT IM ACTUALLY THE NATURE

I HATE THE NATURE HATER BECAUSE IM THE NATURE

B B BUT DONT WORRY GUYS BECASUE NATURE HATER GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE

Nature HATER:

HI IM NATURE HATER I HATE THE NATUE\RE

I REALLY HATE IT

Nature:

NO YOURE WRONG

NATURES GREAT

AND YOURE WRONG

Nature HATER:

NO!

the robot clankers:

BOOOOOOOOP BEEEEEEEEEEEP BOOOOOOOOP BEEEEEEEP

BLUE SCREEN.

everyone:

YEA YEA DIE CLANKER WE HATE YOYOU AT LEAST THIS WAS MADE BY A HUMAN

MY DAD LIKE YOU BECASUE HES A COGSUCKER

AND YOULL NEVER BE A HUMAN

MY FRIENMD SUCKED YOU COGS. WE KILLED HER

slurs for ai are always morally correct unless they play off of real life derogatory slurs that are used for humans…" that's what hatusneg Miku said in the rap. and then everyone including pile of papers kun the hater was in awe of the amazingness of the song becasue it was just perfect in every way ever. and then the bell ring for 4th period to start…

mean. with thunderfang… becasue i need to get them all to period 4 so they can all like do something i dunno.

"b bye bug!!!!!!I I gotta go to 2nd period m my skibidi!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang said as the bell rung and they were forced to stop making erotic gacha heat videos

"h how dare you leave me… y youre so FAKE… j just skip class with me thunderfang!!!!!!!!! p pwease kitten!!!!!!!" bug cried as dream fell to the floor. I cant believe I'm actually using dreamdream self pronouns rightn now. and dream curled into a ball because of dreamselfs nonexistant trauma that dream was abandonded at a very young age except dream 100% wasn't BECASUE dream has like 15 parents actually. also fun fact bug is a roach literally. roach with a human head to put 2020esque makeup on.

"N NOOOOOOO BUG I IM SO SOWWY I I DONT WANT TO LEAVE YOU I IM SO SOWWY I TWIGGERED YOUR TWAUMA WESPONSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang cried as they too fell tothe floor and sobbed with bug becasue they were being seperated.

and then they both got up and went to their different classes uncaring about the uncaring world around them. thunderfang found their class and skillfully opened thedoor to their english 9 academic class… where Ms. Kimmy gilly was lying in wait…

"hello my wonderful people, I'm in love with the cyclops from the odessy, you know sometimes to study you have to just be better than everyone else , lets go read fault in our sttars, my mom's dying, look there's a scylla and charybdis refrence, y'know there was this one time my friend died, I have a very grating voice, I'm gonna grade your work like this is an AP Eniglish class, ect " kimmy gilly said verbatim. direct quote guys trust. oh wait guys the mafia is breaking my fingers again gimme a second. every character I type, 1 finger gets broken but don't worry Im typing with my toungue right now. oh no they broke my tongue kittens I'm using my toes totype this out. I just had the best idea ever. 1 chapter or at least section of sin.exe written entirely with my toes. "alright 14 year olds its time to read a graphic sex scene in class for a school mandated book!!!!!!!!" she said as she passed out the fault in our stars and I killed myself.

"oh wow its just like my gacha heat!!!!!!!" thunderfang said deservingly of this new torture.

"o hwait I noticed you didn't capitalize nazi in your 3 point assignment last week so I took off a full point for a single mistake." Kimmy gilly said to a student a coupld rows away from thunderfang "also I put 2 spaces after every sentence which pisses your autocorrect off so you can barely actually use it. oh and also just so you know I will teach this class like you're all 5 years old but I will grade your assignments like youre seniors in college getting your PhD and I will never discipline your annoying disruptive classmates becasue I'm a horrible teacher." Kimmy gilly continued "and also!!!!!! we will spend 18 weeks reading a 200 page book so that throughout the school year we will read 4 book total and one of them will not be finished and the final will have to be placed before we read the final book of the school year that we will start with 1 week left oh and also you will get assignmets on that book as well.and all the books we will read will be so horrible that you are driven to burn each and every single one of them!!!!!!!!!" Kimmy gilly said because we all hate her. she will make everyone regret taking her class. oh my God she also teaches English 11 general which is what we have bbarb with 3 bs and timm with 2 Ms in i think. oh nooooooooooooo… can we move bbarb with 3 bs up a bit. timm with 2 Ms can deal with her I guess I don't think wecould reasonably move him up like at all.

"Ms Kimmy gilly wasn't ares the god of war in Greek mythology??? you said its Athena who is also but ares is the other one." one student said

"who the FUCK is ares." Kimmy gilly said BECASUE she didn't bother to do even an ounce of research on the books she teaches. "ares isn't real sweetie go back to bed. anyways so when my friend died I had to cancel a dinner with her the day before and I wish I could go back in time and go to dinner with her that night…"

"what does this have to do with our English class??? stop trauma dumping on us?????" the class said in unison because they just wanna get their work done bro shut the fukc upppppp save it for your therapist broooo.

"exCUH YOOOSE me. anyways so the cyclops from the Odyssey actually didn't do anythnig wrong actually and hes my precious little boo boo bear and I love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kimmy gilly refused to actually teach anything and then… "well its time for your assignment!!!!!! itll be 10 points and if you make even a minor spelling mistake I will hunt you for sprot and you will have a full point taken off for every single grammatical or spelling error." Kimmy gilly said like this isn't fucking English academic and teaching it like a general but grading it like an honors does NOT even out to be an academic course like bro cmon now what the hell is this????

as Kimmy gillyy talked, thunderfang I hate that my computer recognizes that word andautocorrects to it now. thunderfang went on their phone to make gacha life mini movies and watch the dream smp in the middle of class. I'm gonna be so honest not a single person paid attention in her class all year bro she was so dam boring. it took 9 weeks for her to get through THREE books of the Odyssey. I was reading ahead and I was getting through like 1 book every 2 days it was like holy shit!!!! can we go a little faster oh my god!!!! we don't need to spend 3 weeks on the cyclops its not that deep!!!!!!!

"oh wow I love seeing my dreamy senpai on the screen in front of me!!!!!" thunderfang said as they watched dream sit in a prison for 5 holurs and do nothing. really interesting arc right there guys. peak acting. smh my head. and then due to how boring Kimmy gillys class is, thunderfang fell asleep and dreamed about the dream smp while the stream played at full blast int the background.

"close your eyes shut your mouth dream a dream you little dream dream dream dream dream dream…" thunderfang murdered in their sleep because in their little dream world dream senpai was doing something i dunno i cant come up with something so use your imagination. and THEN. thuinderfang jilted awake and immediatley began scrolling on ao3 on the school computer for some fun fanfoics of dream senpai and george kun who were gay loverss in thunderfangs dream and they inculded thunderfang as a self insert.

heres what thrunderfang read:

dream collapsed on his bed, tired after a long day of steraming which is hard physical labor, and he called his boy friend gogy kun. "Gogy kun!!!!!!!!" dream cried "my parents arent being pogchamp today!!!! they hate thim im minecraft youtuber… which obviously means that i like men and women and also boys and girls."says dream pedophillicly.

"how DARE they… " goggy says empathetically as he goons to pictures of dream on the itnernet."lets hug our body pillows of eachother and pretend were there with eachother and not seperated by a smal ocean, (the atlantic)." gogy said to dream as he already had his dream body pillow with him and he cut a hole in it a while back. im writing this in class. there are people around. they could see this.

"oh good i will. dont worry i fuck it in the ass every night goggy…" dreamy senpai says to his beuatiful little gogy… tey aslo ave eachothers youtooz ehich they also put holes in.

"hello dream…" saiys dreams side hoe, harry potter from the door frame… "I'm ready for my spanking…" oh wow did I really just write that. tunderfang reads some freaky shtut

"oh don't worry kitten I'll be right there…" dream says as he tells goggy he needs to leave for a second to go beat his side ho for being a bad little boy… george is completely fine with this because they both know its completely physical and holds no emotionalattachment. dream thinks about george dont worry. George hops off the call while dream does his thing with Harry Potter because Harry Potter is British and George is British so its practically the same thing and goggy gets off the call because HIs side bitch drako malfoy is at the door becasue george needs HIS spanking for being a bad little boy thia week. and dream andGeorge don know… that their side biches have other side bitches who are eachorther?!!?!??!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!? OH MY GOD

"P POTTAH?!!?!??!?!!?!?? WH WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???????" malfoy says to his boyfriend harry pottuh who is in the storage closet with dream getting beat by dream were malfoy was gonna beat george.

"D DADDY!!!! I ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I I PROMISE!!!" Harry Potter said as he got his shit pegged. wow… its just like those my littlest pet shops… "I I HAVE AN ADDICTION TO GETTING MY SHIT PEGGED AND AND YOU WERENT AROUND DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I I HAD TO RESORT TO OTHER METHODS!!!!!!!!!! I IM SOWWY ALPHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry Potter screamed as molfoy cheated as well right in front of him. oh wow… dont worry guys this is set during curse of the cursed child or whateveer it was called!!!!!! we only ever allud to pedophilia!!!!!!!

"H HOW DAAAAARE YOU POTTAH." malfoy screamed at Harry as he walked over there while stilll spanking george this is crazyyyyyy "ONLY IM ALLOWED TO CHEAT. STOP GETTING YOUR SHIT PEGGED." and the n dream ran to the side anddecided to start getting his shitpegged by george instead becasue his reall little booboo british bear is here now and he doesnt need that other british "person" anymore.

malfoy slapped Potter across the face and said "DONT YOU DARE DISRESPECT DADDY AGAIN HARRY…" and then he growled at his little omega.

"how bout we polycule it up in here? lets make a circle and all peg eachorther in the ass I'ma just a genius like that. RON GET IN HERE!!!!!!!" harry said as they all nodded and he called ron to complete the goon circle or whatever there doing right now. and then they all got their shit pegged just like in ittlest pet shop and also they got HIV and syphillis the end!!!!!!!!

guys we might need to raise the maturity rating on thewebsite this is low-key getting aa little crazy.

"Oh wow that was a good goon sesh!!!!!" thunderfang said in the middle of class as they got done reading their eortica everyone stared at thunderfang andskilled them with their guns, but because of plot armour, thudnerfang survived and fle out of the room very fast. and just then… the bell rang for 3rd period…

tunderfang ran fastly to their next class but gocloset because tey are like stupid. and they accidebtly burst into pile of papers kuns class?!!?!??!!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!? "h hewwo pogchamps???!!!! i is this pronouns class?????" they said as everyone booed them and shot at them with rifles and guns and also shouted homophobic slurs and also straight phobic slurs, not heterophobic becasue that sounds better. and also dreamphobic slurs. none of that happened the pile of papers kun one is what really happened and thudernfang is exagerating for shock value. guys lets intorduce unreliable narrators and 15 different versions of events so the kittens have to decide which version they think makes the most sense. kittens find the most unbiased source of information in your fanfic !!!!!!!!!!!!!

"erm g guys!!!!! i is this rponpuns class??? BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang cried as they entered pronouns class. its the woke agenda. "IIIIM NOTA DEE TSUN TSUN DERE IM GONNA BREAK YOUR HEART RIGHT IN THIS DRESS!!!!!!!!" says thunderfang and also they continue the song and sing the engtire thing as they walk into class, but i dont remember the rest. i hear it from dean withers x charlie kirk dead debate edits on tiktok.

"TH THT THUNDERFANG!!!!!!!!!!!!" scramed a voice in the back of the class "I ITS YU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I I WOVE YOU SO MUCH THUNDERFANG YOURE MY FAVORITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"B BUG?!!?!??!?!!?!??" thunderfang said like hy would never ever see eachother again becasu ug had been shipped off t war and this was their first interaction when bug returned home via boat and theyve been seperated for 10 years and thunderfang was worried they would have to find a mew best friend becasu bug died in the war. they embraced in a hug and thn thy at together in the back even thouh there as 100% assigned seating.

"hey you 2 in the back those are like not your seats." the teacher said

"KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!" bug screamed as dream hugged thunderfang close and clung to them like a flea on a dogs fur. parasitically excet on this situation theyre both parasites and its mutually consented to or something.

"be nie bug!!!! ERM SCKSHULLY BUGS PRONOUNS ARE DREAM/DREAM SELF YOU SAID YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS A PRONOUN!!!!!! I WOULDVE THOUGHT PRONOUNS CLASS WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE ACCEPTING." thunderfang screamed at the teacher who earned less than minimum wage and is a week away from killing himself.

"i dont get paid enough for this shit" said the teacher as he hung hiself from the ceiling and immediately a nw teacher came in to replace him. this ones more woke so theyre a they them

"Alright kids today were gonna go over PRONOUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!" said the teacher notbothering to clean up the corpse hanging from the celieng but no one will really care or notice until it starts to rot. "in this class wer woke so everyone lets do an ice breaker well all go around and shar our pronouns."

they all said thier wokenouns… until… it got to one girl… from earlier… in gacja clas… "my pronouuns are she her." she said…

"HOW FUCKING DQAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU BASIC ASS BITCH YOURE S O UNWOKE I BET YOURE A STUPID DISGUSTING CISSIE AS WELL HUH??? ARE YOU A STRAIGHTIE??????????????????????????" they allscremaed in unison as they pulled out their brocked and made the unwoekrrbricked upwith bricks in her face and kileld her and she died becasue of the woke mob.

"what a bisc bitch she deserved it." says teacher. and then they all get bck to the lesson and everyone else has good pronouns. and then by the end of class thy got their homework whic hwas to murder 5 basic prnounsers. becasue theyre basic and cissies and evil and cisgender which is disugusting. and then the next bell rang becauseim lowkey out of ideas for tis segment and i wanna get to the stuff i have many ideas for.

MEAN. with bbarb with 3 bs…

guys have to caught on mean. means meanwhile guys isnt that so sily and fun i think we did that becasue we didnt wanna write the whole word i think i dont remember actually.

the idffferent voiiiiiceeeeee do i see you reding tis obrt yjer i wrote that with my eyes clsed can you tell i think im really goof at writing with mt eues closed oh woe i did that eyes closed too i guess im just so good at it. i wonder haow much was my awesome terrible bad autocreect i hate autocorrect it makes it more legible and better and i hate that. well anyways this section will be written with my eyes closed until i get bored of that so

hey for the tma part I'm gonna have Barbb talk about seeing the face and bring back that one time perrotta made her schizophrenic ooooo good yes do that

(what are you even saying here)bb abt with 4 bar was in the room with thundes in t and she was liteeally in there wjich eas literally clill as jell. im bored of that now. bbr bwith 3 bs sentout a telepathic message to all of her siblings for a little meeting in the lundh room where they will all skip their next classes becasue hwo honestly gives a shit like and she sends out a telepathic message with her new powers aquireed from tranfem georgas washingtons amazing sacrifice. she waitd in the lunch room during period 4 lunch which is a iwld thing to have becaue it is 10 am for her "siblings" to get there so they can all plot a scheeme or something. i cant believe we gave NONE of them period 4 lunch thats wild. thats the one we both had for like the most amount of time. (bro I still have it have had it for four years that's why I gave Barbb pd 1 lunch) yea hahahahahahah loser nerd hahahahahahaha i have period 5 lunch so im just cooler i guess hahahahahahaha i only have oeriod 4 lun ch for THREE years.

as they all arrived, bbarb with 3 bs began to set the scene of what she had been seeing that day"SHIT THE FUCK UP timm with 2 ms." she said first even though he hadnt said anything but its ok he deserved it because hes a non sigma nerd loser or soemting. "so. there are faces in the teachers faces… and i htink i know who it is…" she said drawing out the suspense.

"OH WHO IS IT BBARB WITH 3 BS I NEED TO KNOW THIS WILL SURELY BE SO POGCHAMP!!!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang said

"get out." pile of papers kun said reasonableey becasue thunderfang is a bitch lowky. "who invited you."

"HMPPH!!!! t thats not very p pogchamp p pile of papers kun!!!!!!" thunderfang saifd liek a tsundere or something. "a anyways guys i i made a new friend today!!!!!!!!! dreams name is bug and dream is super poggers >w< !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they continued before they were cut of by timm with 2 ms doing the only good thing hes ever done in his life which was to push thnderfang off the seat and watch them scurry away like a little rat.

"… anwyas. i believe that the fce inside their faces is…" bbarb with 3 bs suspended "i dunno… its so familiar i just know it i know who it is buti just cant place it quite yet… its someone from negative hell i just know it guys i can just tell theyre from negative hell but i met so many people down there… it could be anyone…" bbarb with 3 bs said spookily…

"your fucking shcizophrenic dude." timm with 2 ms said as if he too had not been seeing faces in eople faces. hes in denial just like he was in denial about being a little queer bitch for years even though everyone else already knew but they were lowkey disapointed he was still a despicable cissie bitch.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP TIMM WITH 2 MS. IM FUCKING SPEAKINGHERE. IM NOT SCHIZOPHRENIC THAT WAS OOOONE TIME. ALSO I WAS IN HELL AND HELL IS A LITTLE CRAZY SO." bbabr with 3 bs svreamed at timm with 2 ms

"bbarb with 3 bs, youre the only semi competent person here except for me becaus im just the best, help me kill and murder every ai clanker robot bitch here and also my geometry teacher." y/n said (you)

"ok fine later lets scooby doo this shit and get rid of evi miles edgeworth first oh my god." bbarb with 3 bs said trying to get back on topicly. "you all saw that shit right YOURE THE CRAZY ONES NOT ME."she screamed "oh wait i see a detransitioner over there being transphobicc i gotta beat their ass gimme a second." and bbarb with 3 bs left for a second.

"i hope she kills them." you say "oh wait guys lets place bets and start a fugthing ring!!!!!!!! timm with 2 ms get your sstupid little british dog we need to mak it fight people." you saide as you started going around and collecting bets on who would win the fight. you hyped up the detransitioner becasue you know bbarb with 3 bs will win and you wanna get the most money possible. also you know that when they inevitably dont win everyone will be pissed at them and hopefully beat their ass a second time. oh my god… its a stupid disgusting ai clanker robot as wel… while the fight goes down you remember to put up your robophobic miscro agrresiions on poster around the shcool saying amazing things like "WE DONT BLEED THE SAME COLOR" and "BLOOD AND OIL DONT MIX"

"oh shit shes beating that clanker uop GET EM BBARB WITH 3 BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" timm with 2 ms says. the people who bettedon the clanker metal lover gear grinder cog sucker wire back stared in shock as bbarb with 3 bs dissassembled its ass and sent it packaged back to its manufacturer.

Different voice we gotta put jef with 1 f in. you remember the original flesh car???? Of course I remember Jef with 1 f. we gotta put him in somehow. wait maybe he can be red 40s and billy the cells kid or something

as bbarb with 3 bs finsihed cleaning up that mess, timm with 2 ms collected bets from people and madde a fck ton of cash which bbarb with3 bs will obviously take all of becasue she did the heavy lifting. "hey guys? maybe we shoudlnt just beat peoples asses" pile of papers kun said because a teacher was standing nearby and its an asskisser.

"kys."bbarb with 3bs, timm with 2 ms, and you all sadin in unison. "GUYS get bac k on topic." bbarb wit h3 bs cried as you all sat back down with your riches. "WHOS THE FACE."

"yea yea we all saw it too probably nothing like just ignore it." timm with 2 ms said becasue he is a bitch and we should kill him.

"no like thats stupid????? sorry" says people pleaser. "but i dont recognize them. its quite trange i agree with bbarb with 3 bs" pile of papers kun says after cutting off timm with 2 ms rudely. pile of papers kun is acting much less mean becasue it only reeeeeaaaaally hates thunderfang becasue theyre insuffereable. i originally wrote it to be a nerd teachers pet people pleaser who really doesnt like thunderfang becasue theyre annoying as hell but there was no one else around to show that pile of papers kun only didnt like thunderfang becasue they were insufferebale becasue everyone else on that arc was insufferable too, so pile of papers kun had the same reaction to all of them. just making that clear gang.

"UGH. i guess youre not AS schizophrenic I GUESS." you said in exasperation becasue pile of papers kun is practically FORCING you to like UGH LISTEN and SHUT THE FUCK UP?????????? UGH HOW DARE IT. you should KILL IT NOW.

"THANK you oh my GOD. youre all fucking stupid." bbarb with 3 bs said becasue theyre all scooby doo now. "gather some evidence for me nd figure out whos uner everyines faces becasue its lowkey pissing me off." and then… underneath the face of a studnt eating nearby… veryone saw the other face shiftunderneath it but just for a second… bbarb with 3 bs launched herself at the studnt and ripped ther face off to see what was hdiing underneath… but she found nothing…

"HOLY SHIT BBARB WITH 3 BS." timm with 2 ms screamed in terror like a little pussy "YOU JUST RIPPER THEIR FACE OFF."

"oh wow sherlock youre really perceptive." bbarb with 3 bs said while still holding the sveered face flesh.

"HEY YOU WITH THE FACE." bitch said.

"OOoooooooooooooooooooooo oure in trouuuublleee!!!!" everyone said in unison beasue pile of papers kun pulled a teachers pet and telled on bbarb with 3 bs for ripping a face off.

"TAKE YOUR DAMN EARBUDS OUT. YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE THEM."crazy headphones guy screamed uncaring aout the uncaring severed face in front of him. "DETENTIOn"

"you already gaveme detention this morning bro." bbarb with 3 bs said not putting the svered face backedly.

"FUC KYOU DOUBLE DETENTION. YOU KNOW YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE YOUR HEADPHONES IN." he screamed knowing that shes new and in fact did not know but he doesnt care becasue hes bricked up (built like a brick wall). obviously his brain just doesnt have quite enough wrinkles to understand this. and then king pin stormed off not noticing or caring that they were all also skipping class to sit in the lunch room. he only cares about headphones. he collects them and then turns them into his heaphone girls and does unsavory things to them. just like hoodie girls guy does. they do this becasue no body fucking likes them and they have to find other ways to get a girlfriend.

"oh ok. i guess well keep an eye out for the face guy or whatever like were fucking scooby doo or some shit." timm with 2 ms said uncaringly as bbarb wih 3 bs beat his ass kindly. and everyone bet on who would win (bbarb with 3 bs)

and then… the belll rang for 5th period and they all had to lke attend class or whatever…

FLASHBACK… with chicken noodle soup chan…

chicken noodle soup chan finally stepped into its time machine that it built to save tide detergent chan from the clutches of death or whatever when… BOW SHMOW FLASH BANG CROW… the time machine exploded leavingchicken noodle soup chan out of months of work and research for nothing….. but chicken noodle soup chan refused to resign to the horrible fate of horrible tide detergent chanlessness… it must attewmpt to kill it one final time… so chicken noodle soup chan saw only one way…. chicken noodle soup chan stormed out of the room and stormed like a stom to the foot of the throne of the throne that sits in a throne that seats the igh and mighty… DUN DUN DUN?!!?!?!??!?!!?!??!!?!!?!?! GRIM REAPERR?!!?!!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!

"WAT IS UP AND HAPPENING GANG????" says the grim reaper as chickenn noodle soup chan makes its way up the steps leading to its throne of thrones. "ITS ME THE GRIM REAPER AND I EAT SOULS I THINK." and then the grim reaper took a massive bite of its soul ice cream and licked its lips decadently and deliciously. "MMMM MMM MMM. YUMMY."

"GRIM REAPER!!!!!!! YOU KILLED MY GUY WHO I TRY TO KILL A LOT AND I DONT LIKE THAT ECASUE WE WERE DOING A THING BRO WE WERE LITERALLY DOING A THING AN YOU RUINED OUR LITTLE THING BRO!!!!!! WE WERRE GONNA ENEMIES TO LOVERS THIS SHIT AND NOW YOU KILLED IT AND LIKE I WANT IT BACK!!!!!!" chicken noodle soup chandeclared at the foot of the throne that held the throne that held the throne that held the grim reaper and alslo the grim treaoper is from the sims 4 and it is 900000000 feet tall.

"OH WELL THATS TOO BAD." the grim reaper sadi as it rubbed it preantatnt belly. that was my bad gang i imprganated the grim reaper with mpreg. oh wait I have anidea.

"kitten… dont make daddy angy… i have ideas for these 2… put the tide detergent chan back… ill get you more souls later i promise kitten…" says hyper god as they take the grim reapers face in their hands and kissthem passionately because of mpreg???? who is hyper god you ask???? well im glad you asked kitten… because I was gonna tell you anyways… WAHT YOU DONT CARE YOU DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW?????? KITTEN… OURE MAKING YOUR ALPHA ANGRY. B B B B BAKA. GET OVER HERE KITTEN I CANT BE HAVING YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THIS. I grab you by your neck and chioke you for disrespecting your one true alpha. I push you up against the wall and get all up in your face… who's your alpha kitten… do you apologize for disrespecting daddy… good… I drop you and make you mpreg. kitten… do NOT. disrespect me again… and then you start to birth the baby. NO KITTEN… ABORT IT NOW… Its time for your daily abortion kitten… and I rip the baby out of your stomach and eat it in front of you and also the placenta and shit. anyways back to the story.

hyper god is uhhhhhhhhhh

THE DIFFERENT VOICE WHOS HYPER GOD. don't read that by the way.

oh hyper god is… WOKE NONBINARY JIBANYAN FROM YOKAI WATCH?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!?!?! "NYA!!!!!" says jibanyan.

"I I SOWWY MOMMY DADDY ALPHA WOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!" says transfem grim reaper as she turns into Yuri. all god are women or nonbinary by the way and theyre all yuri ing it up. just like Thomas Jefferson miku binder said… i met god… shes black… and also theyre nonbianry woke jibanyan from yokai watch…

And then JIBANYAN kissed their little omega passionately and they said… "I have many ideas for you… be Yuri… I like Yuri…" says woke!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WOKE IM SCARED IM SCARED IM SCARED!!!! WOKE WOKE WOEK WOEK WOKE OWKEOKW EOKW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE WOKE!!!!! "I'm the WOKER…" says jibanyan as they yrui it all up in here. guys its so much harder to do this shit with women and like nonbinary people. making fun ofmen is so easy becasue theyve never been oppressed. SEXISM SUCKS. it makes writing satirical parodies with Yuri repsresentation so much harder because i wanna write lesbians but women are oppressed so much that if I wrote it just how I write everything else it would seems sexist but if it dont it wouldnt fit the tone of the entire rest of the piece so its like im treading a dangerous line here and then BECASUE we don't want it to feel sexist, we just end up not writing yrui at all becasue were too scared too BECASUE there's also significantly less stupid bad yuri tropes to make fun of like there is with yaoi. like we do ABO so much becasue its so weeeeiiirrd. but you never see people writing alpha omega Yuri?????? but like when I do the ABO stuff its funny but it feels repeptivie so I can't flip It like I've done it so much its getting old y know so i gotta come up with somethING else but SEXISTS hate yuri and they dont write it ever sp i have nothing to parody but even if i did and i did a parody satire thing it would seem SEXIST soooooooo anyways. back to the story.

jibanyan nuzzled their nonbianry woke nose with their girlfriend transfem grim reaper and they used their t4t energy to create a owerful blast of energy…and then they turned to chicken noodle soup chan as the lesbian light faded from the air and sky and they said in unson… "ch chicken noodle soup chan… it it cannot be done… y youre yuri… yaoi…. is… doomed…. whats it called when its 2 nonbianries in a relationsip???? is it still yuri or yaoi or is it a secret third thing that no one ever thought i=of before because they are nt WOKE enough like me because im the woker." and theat actually exactly what thy said. oh actually we could make bbabr with 3 bs a yuri relationship but i think earlier in the story we all decided that shes aroace at some poit dont know if we said that. thats ok y/n could be yrui maybe???? theyre in denial guys theyll turn to the yrui side oon becasue i actually really like bbabr with 3 bs as an aroace person becasue shes just awesome like that. thunderfang or pile fo apapers kun could become yuri as well.. hmmmmmmmwhat a conumdrum… thunderfang CANNOT pull bitches they will be alpne forever hopefully. "w we cannot bring tide detergent chan yuri back… w we cannot f find it…" said the yuri lesbians in unison. did you know thetes a verison of yuri and yaoi for s s s s s s STRAIGHT people… disgusting… despicable… keep those BREEDERS out of here. i dont want yuri to just be like off to the side ad we only make side characters with little to no real relevance to the plot into yuri. we need a main rekaioonship with yuri.

"t t t t tide detetgent chan… i ii is gggg g g g gone?!?!!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?" chicken noodle soup chan scrempt. it fell to its knees that it has and wailed into the clouds that theyre standing on becasue theyre in super hyper hreaen where hyer god reigns. chicken noodle soup chan ran away from hyper god and tranfem grim reaper and back into its super spooky sceicne lab when it sae the date… tide detergetn chans fueral… chicken noodle soup chan picked itself up off the floor and began to walk sollemnly to the funeral… it has to be there for its super signma hper boygrifend girlfriend affair partner… t tide deterhetng chan… BOOOOO HOOOOOO HOOOOOOO> chicken noodle soup chan began to sob violently again as it approached te casket and ti realized… its… PREGNANT… they never eve had super ultra hyper ultrakill mega sex but apparently trying to kill eachother is enough to do MFpreg… chicken noodle soup chans released its tears of true love onto tide detergent chan as the little BITHC gnawed at the inside of chicken noodle soup chans woke womb… and then… as chicken noodle soup chan mourned grievingly…

tide detregtn chan began to rise…

"t tide detergent chan?!?!!?!??!?!!?!?!" chicken noodle soup chan cried as billy the cell grimaced in the corner because it really ates its husband wife and was very glad it was dead.

"C CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP CHAN!!!!! I IM SO GLAD YOUVE COME AROUND O REALIZE MY IMMENSE INTENSE LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!" tide detergent chan scrempt "ATTEMPT TO KILL ME FOR OLD TIMES SAKE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!"

"Y YOU DIED !!!!!!!! I ITHOUGHT I FOR REAL KILLED YOU!!!! I GUES HYPER GOD REALLY SAVED YOU AFTER ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!" chicken noodle soup chan pulled a gun on tide detergent chan and seductively shot it in the thigh and make out aggressively.

"well… heh… i was… just sleeping…" tide detergent chan said plot twistedly. DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the children of enzymatic isotopes in the back gqasped in shock and then went back to beatijng eachother up.

guys I'll kms I'm doing this physics assignment and its annoying as hell. I got the right answer but itscalling it completely wrong becasue i didnt have it in the right scale up theres no scle on the graph.

WHATS THE PHYSIC ASSIGNMENT ASWERS ALSO I MIGHT JUST STOP THE TMA THING IN THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING its on mastering physics on velocity time and position tie graphs. I know can you give me the answers later ok sure ooooooh you said answes i didnt read that part.

Mean. with billy the cell and red 40

"B BILLY THE CELL?!?!!?!??!?!!" red 40 screpmt as billy the cell sniffed it in the night once again… it usually sneakes into its room to smell its beautiful scent and steal its clothing… "W WHAT ARE YOU D DOING HERE?!?!!?!??!?!" red 40 continued to scream wildly as billy the cell took a big whiff of its pheromones. as red -40 conitued to be dramaticccc, billy the cell sprayed it with a quick dose of sleeping powder (chloroform) and picked it up in its delicate arms…

"worry not red -40… soon you will truly be mine forever… you just need to see how amazing i can be…" billy the cell murmerd as it carried red -40 to its secret potion dungeon where it makes the potions… my name is billy the cell… i make the potions… it was difficul… to put the ingredients together… but unfortunately… something went so wrong… and now icant do anything. but sing this stupoid song my name is billy the cell bilyl the cell billy the cell billy the cell billy the cell…

billy the cell propped its one true love up on the lvoeseat in the basement and dramaatically unveiled the cualdron by whipping a "white" sheet off of it dramatically. billy the cell began to dramatically combine ingredients into the cauldron… eye of newts… avaian x horse embryo… the sin of man… the sin of woman… the sin of nonbinary woke people… 1 queer… and for the final ingredients… billy the cell used some of its own hair and the hair of its victim… becasue they both definately have hair… upon finishing the potion… billy the cell threw it dramatically vampirically at red 40 and began on another dramatic potion…

red 40 began to stir in its sleep as the potion took effect… "b billy the cell???? OH MY LOVE I LOVE YOU SO SIGMALY MUCH!!!!!! Y YOURE MY ONE TRUE LOVE I LOVE YO MI AMOR!!!!!!!!" red 40 cried love potionly red -40 leaped ontop of billy the cell and they had gooner sex together and then red -40 was immediately mpregged. it got mpegged. and then because of the love potion labor was immediately induced mere moments after conception and red -40 violently pushed the baby out with ease becasue labor is not painful obviously.

"yes my one true love… i love you red -40… my love potion has worked its amazing magic… you will never love another red -40… we will be together for ever and ever and ever and evere…" billy the cell took red 40 in its arms and reminisceed on all the people it killed to make it to this point. "red -40… no one can know about this baby… im married technically… we must lock it in a toweer until i can divorce my husband wife to be with you forever,…"

"i would wait forever for you billy the cell!!!!!!" red 40 said submissively. it began to bark and paw at billy the cell because of the love potion. red -40 licked billy the cell and collared itself to be leashed by billy the cell and taken for a walk…

"i know the perfect plae we can store the infant my love… my one true love…" billy the cell said as it walked red -40 with the new baby n its arms. its already trying to drive with its wheels. its afleshcar by the way. billy the cell took the family to a tower in the middle of the woods and left the baby at the mercy of the evil wizard in the top of the tower… the evil wizard was…"MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" billy the cell cried to the evil wizard at the top of the tower. "THE POTION WAS A SUCCESS TAKE CARE OF THIS INFANT NOW."

"JEEZ YALL MOVE FAST HOLY SHIT. IS THE BABY A TRANSGENDER YOU KNOW I HATE THOSE DISGUSTING TRANSGEDNERS." marjorie taylor greene called from te window as hillary clinton held her from behind. their other wife, mealnia trump is Fpreg right now and couldnt be at the window becasue she needs her beauty sleep. billy the cell could already tell the baby was going to grow up to be a ttransgender but billy the cell lied becasue it doenst wanna deal with another baby really at all. it only really wanted red -40.

red -40 barked at its alpha and pissed on a bush to mark its territory. "no." billy the cell said becasue it lied and said the baby wasnt a transgender and then they all used super hyper magic to transport the baby up to the top of the tower and the evil wizard began braiding the babys fkeshacr hair so that she could steal its youth or something. "red -40… we can finally be together and be happy… as long as that evil tide detergent chan doesnt reaer its ugly head again…" billy the cell said foreshadowingly and red 40 nuzzled with its one true alpha one true love and they had true loves first kiss…

END FLASHBACK…

Chapter Text

mmmight make another gacha life chapter on gacha life 2. 

ok so in the flashback im gonna make billy the cell love potion red 40 and then somehow jef with 1 fwill be born and then theyll rapunzel im in a tower until i intorduce him at some point in the high school arc. new longest chapter guys. 3 new longest chapters in a row. geez bro. tis next chapters gonna be so wild. 

HIW TO TIE A NOOSE RAP BATTEL!!!!!!!! R3qu3sted by .y brother

Noose boy: 
WHATS UP GANG IM THE NIOSE GUY
I TIE NOOSES
AND MOOSES
WHAT THE FUCK US THAT THING????????
IM THE NIOSE GUY AND HERES HOW YOU TIE IT!!!!!!

Woke noose they:
WHATS UP NOOSE BOY IM THE PRONOUNS!!!!!!
DONT TIE A NOOSE!!!!
YOU CANT KILL YOURSELF ITS NOT WOKE!!!!!!!

Noose boy:
EW FUCK OFF PROBOUNS DIE DIE DIE
I DONT BELIEVE IN PRONOUNS. 
MY PRNOUNS ARE U/S/A
KILL UOURSELF WOKIE.
HE SHE TEHY THEM

Woke noose they: 
HEY HEY NOOSE BIY THATS NOT NICE.
YOURR ASLEEP.
YOURE NOT WOKE IM WOKE YOURE SLEEPING
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
AND THEN I SHIOT YOU LIKE CHARLIE KIRK

Noose boy:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AND NLOOD GUSHES OUT OF MY NECK WOUND AAAAAAAAAAAA IM DYJNG IM DYIJG IM DEAD HELP ME HELP ME PLEASE HELP
AND THEN I DIE.

Woke Noose they:
OH SHIT NOOSE BOY IM ON THE RUN
I JUST KILLED A MAN
DONT WORRY THOUGH JT WASNT A WOMAN
IM NOT SEXIST
ITS OK THIS IS WOKE WE WOKE UP
IM NOOSE THEY AND THIS IS A MESSAGE TO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE

band is boring as fuck today im gonna write a 4th rap were doing rhythm packets

EVIL KIMMY GILLY VS HER TORTURED STUDENTS RAP BATTLE

Evil kimmy gilly:

HEY STU DENTS I AM THE TEAHC ER

RAP THIS TO THE TUNE OF 4 QUARTER NOTES

I FUCKED THE CYCLOPS FROM THE ODDYSEY

GUUUUYS MY BESTIE DIIIEEEDD!!!!!!!! 

Her tortured students:

P PLEASE MISS PLEASE LET US GO I I DONT WANT TO DIE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

NO NO NO NO NOOOO D DONT MAKE US READ FAULT IN OUR STARS ILL KILL MYSELF

Evil kimmy gilly:

mwahahahahahahha

im evil kimmy gilly and im here to make you hate reading even though im an english teacher!!!!!!!!

yea yea go cower in fear little students

youre so stupid if you wanna study just get good bitch

sometimes youre just st st stupid and theres nothing you can do about it and im not gonna do anything to help you

Her tortured students:

N N N NOOOOOOOOO P PLEASE DONT SAY HER NAME 

DO NOT SPEAK HER NAME YOU CANNOT SPEAK OF THAT FOUL BEAST 

PLEASE SHE IS EVIL SE IS SO EVIL SHES THE WORST TEACHER EVER 

PLEASE JUST LET ME GO PLEASE I HATE HER NODONT MAKE ME READ THE FAULT IN OUR STARS 

PLEASE I DONT WANNA I HTE IT ITS SO BAD NOOOOOOOOOOO

Evil kimmy gilly: 

HAHAHA YOURE GOONAN READ A REALLY BAD BOOK AND WERE GONNA O THROUGH IT SO SLOW PACED.

DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT HOW MY SISTER DIED YOURE ALL MY THERAPIST NOW

Her tortured students:

NOOOOOO PLEASE JUST TEACH ME ENLGISH BRO I JUST WANNA LEAARN HOW TO WRITE A FUCKING ESSAY 

IM NOT YOUR DAM THERAPIST MAN

SAVE IT FOR YOUR THERAPIST

DONT TRAUMADUMP TO ME. I DONT CAR PLEASE

Evil kimmy gilly:

IMM GONAN TRAUMADUMP TO YOU INSTEAD OF TEACHING

I DONT WANNA DO MY JOB

I DOONT KNOW HOW IM STILL EMPLOYED HERE

ILL KILL YOUUUUUU

MY MOM DIED OF CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her tortured students:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…..

kill me now…



Ok kittens who won?!?!!?!??!?!! ill give you a hint its not kimmy gilly because i hate her. one of my friends had her and i mentione her name and he flicnhed and started cowering in fear becasue she was such a genuinely dogshit teacher. 

well. kittens… its time for… my NEXT RAP BATTLE!!!!!!!!!! my friend suggested i make a rap battle abut political figures so obviously im goan do it

KITTENS ARE YOU READY?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! ITS TIME FOR THE BEST RAP BATTLE OF YOUR LIFE?!?!!?!?!?!?! DONALD TRUMP VERUS… JOE BIDN RAP BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Donald trump:

HEYA JOE IM YOUR ALPHA. 

I HATE YOU IN PBULIC BUT IN PRIVATE WE HAVEU LTRA MEGA SEX.

I LOVE BOMB YOU ATER EVERY DEBATE

kiss me joey…

on the lips…

Joe biden:

SORRY ALPHA UM WELL I  I I GOTTA RAP

UHHHHHH… AND THEN… UH UH UM

THERE WAS… A HOTDOG… YOUR DICK IN MY MOTUH…??? 

UM DONNY… ACTUALLY WELL OH YOU KNOW

Transgender nonbianry Elon musk:

D D DONNY??? Y YOURE DATING BIDEN??? I ITHOUGHT YOU ONLY LOVED ME!!!!!!

D D DADDY PLEASE I CHANGED MY PRONOUNS FOR YOU!!!!!!

 W WE CAN BE THEY AND THEM TOGETHER DADDY

J JUST TRANSITION WITH ME!!!!!!! 

IM ELON MUSK AND I TAKE ESTROGEN

Donald trump:

M MISTER MUSKY THEY IM IN THE PUBIC EYE I GOTTA BE HATEFUL

I CANT BE SEEN WIH A WOKIE LIKE YOU

I IM SORRY KITTEN…

G GET OUT OF HERE PRONOUNS 

Y YOURE A A MAN…

Transgender nonbinary elon musk:

T TRUMPY POO!!!!!!

TH THATS NOT NICE. Y YOU KNOW IM NONBINARY!!!!!

RESPECT MY PRONOUNS.

I never knew ou were a transphobe…

I I have to go…

I wont be seen with a bitch like you …

Donald trump:

NO ELON PLEASE I DIDNT MEAN IT

I HAVE A REPUTTATION TO MAINTAIN

ILL BE NICE IN PRIVATE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe biden:

HEY TRUMP THATS SO NOT COOL

RESPECT ELONS PRONOUNS

I KNOW YOURE TRANSGENDER TOO 

THEY DONT CALL YOU A HE

BE NICE TO ELON OR YOURE GONNA GET BEAT BY MY GANG OF GOONS AND TRANFEMS GOONETTES

Tranfem Donald trump:

I GUESS YOURE RIGHT JOE GUT NOW THEYRE GONE

PLEASE ELON I TAKE ESTROGEN TOO!!!!!!!!

IM TRANSFEM DONALD TRUMP A AND ILL CHANGE MY NAME FOR YOU

WE CAN BE T4T ELON COME BACK Y YOU BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jd vance:

D D DADDY M M MOMMY!!!! P PLEASE DONT GET a DIVORCE

I REALLY DONT WANNA BE IN A BROKEN HOUSEHOLD

IM TOO OLD TO BE A CHILD OF DIVORCE

OH WAIT 2 CHRISTMASES!!!!!!!

im gonna kick the stool… and its all your fault divicored…

Charlie kirk:

HEY DONNY GIRL IM CHARLIE KIRK 

AND THIS IS MY NONBIANRY WOKE THEYFRIEND DEAN

WERE HOMOSEXUALS AND IM TRANSITIONING TO NONIBANARY AS WELL

AAAAAAAAAAAA NO DEAN PLEASE SAVE ME HELP 

SAVE THE KIDS YOURE PREGNANT 

YOURE THEYPREG SAVE YOURSELF DONT GET AN ABORTION KITTEN 

I LOVEYOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

AND I BLEED OUT AND DIE.

Dean Withers:

NO CHARLIE PLEASE YOU NEVER EVEN FINISHED TRANSITIONIN

LEASE PLEASE PLEASE I CANT LOSE YOU YET WE JUST WENT PUBLIC WITH OUR LOVE

I I MOMENTARILY PLACE MYSELF

 IN THE SHOES OF YOUR WIFE

Everypne:

OH NO GUYS WERE GONNA GET ASSASSINATED

WERE GONNA GET SHOT

CH CH CAHARLIE IS DEAD

AND 

were next…



SO howd you like the rap battle i think it was pretty banger lowkey. i should become a professional soundcloud rapper. 

i love making woke rap battles of politicians. this isnt real person fiction because politicians arent people obviously. guys im gonna make a yrui politicians rap battle oh my god idea!!!!!



YURI VERSUS YAOI RAP BATTLE WHO WILL WIN?!?!!?!??!?!!!?!??!?!!?!?!? this is a lot of rap battles back to back. i dot care its funny and fun to write. we could write this whole chapter i nrap battles if we wanted to 

Yuri:

HEY HEY YAI IM THE YURI

I LOVE LESIANS

YURI IS BETTER BECAUSE YOURE SO LAME

AND ALSO WOEMN ARE COOLR

IM COOLER THAN YOU BECASUE I JUST AM

Yaoi:  

SHUT IT YURI IM THE YAOI

YAOI YAOI YAOI

IM BETTER THAN YOU BECASUE IM MORE COMMON

IM THE ALPHA…

Yuri:

YEA WELL THAT JUST MEANS YOURE OVER DONE

AND YURI IS MORE INTERESTINGg

BECAUSE THERES LESS OF IT

ALSO YOURE A BITC BY THE WAY

TOBY FOX INVENTED LESBIANS

Yaoi:

IM SO MUCH COOLER BECAUSE ITS SO MUCH FUNNER TO MAKE FUN OF MEN

YOU CANT SATIRIZE YURI LIKE YOU CAN YAOI BECAUSE IT SEEMS MISOGINIST

BUT YOU CANT BE MISANDRIST

Yuri:

IM MISANDRIST FUCK YOU

IM SO COOLER BECAUSE WE LOVE LESBIASNS!!!!!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS LETS GO LESBIASN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS MESSAGE WAS SPONSORED BY LESBIAN LOVER 3000

JUST KIDDING THEY DONT EVER EDIT AND THATS BECASUE THEYRE EVIL

Yaoi:

oh yea

well i guess we arent too different yuri

we link arms and skip off into the sunset and do yaoi and yuri and become woke

IM YAOI LOVER 6969420 AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.



Who won kitties kittens and the they cats?????? 

alrigt thats enough rap battles actually im done making rap battles for today. guys sould i do woke gacha life 2 chapter for one of them. im gonna finish the gacha life 2 woke designs incase we wanna make woke gacha life chapter. ive finished bbarb with 3 bs, timm with 2 ms, y/n, billy the cell, pile of papers kun, and thunderfnag. i still have to make tide dertegtent chan, chicken noodle soup chan, john. the period is included in the name, jef with 1 f, red 40, the baby, the baby 2.0, the goo baby, hatsune miku, trasnfem geroga washington, donald trump, jeffery epstein, evil miles edgeworth, cheezit grant, evil pheonix wrong, basil from omori, and the mha foot gods. might not make them all but thats the full family tree rigt now. oh and also jef with 1 fs adopted parents melania trump, hilary clinton, and marjorie taylor greene. 



You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to look at it, look at it like that

You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to talk to it, talk to it like that

Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul

Honey, make this easy

Leave it to the land, this is what it knows

Honey, that's how it sleeps

Don't let it in with no intention to keep it

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it

Honey, don't feed it, it  will come back

You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to smile at me, smile at me like that

You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to hold me just, hold me just like that

I know who I am when I'm alone

I'm something else when I see you

You don't understand, you should never know

How easy you are to need

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me

Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

It can't be unlearned

I've known the warmth of your doorways

Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you

Oh, please, give me mercy no more

That's a kindness you can't afford

I warn you, babe, each night, as sure as you're born

You'll hear me howling outside your door

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

Don't you hear me howling?

Don't you hear me howling?

Don't you hear me howling, babe?



red 40 looks so good right now ill send you a picture later. 

oh what joy

oh dear god its so fascinating. i put something in every possible slot. theres so much goinf on right now. 

the current average word count is 4,418 words per chapter. some one just said mrs. white it seems like mr. white pedo teacher transitioned to female. 

wait guys hear me out woke arc. as if this isnt woke already. but like we make it MORE woke. geniunely i dont know how wed do that though. if we can figure it out we should totally do it. 

the designs for gacha life woke chapter are almost ready. and by ready i mean i finished one more character than when i last checked in here. i think we do SINematic universe before gacha woke chapter. 

Hey guys you wanna read a part of a short story I'm writing for English.

You don't get a choice. 

Prompt: Write a short story of a scandalous event that takes place in a small, strict society.  What are the rules of the community?  Why do they choose to live by such rules?  How do these rules affect the aftermath of the event?

Story(I haven't finished it yet):

Don’t go out during the day. It is a simple rule, one that must be followed without question for everyone's safety. And it’s not like that you can never head outside, you just have to do it at night. The Rule also makes a lot of sense, since if you are caught in the sun you will get sick and die practically in an instant. However if you somehow survive those initial seconds you will still get sick and die, but now you pose a risk of giving everybody else the sickness too. Any sane person would simply stay inside, and wait until night to do work like everybody else (in fact almost everyone sleeps during the day now). Harper, however, prides herself on not being a sane person.  (idk what I'm doing) 

Woopsie I accidentally made my oc debunk evolution. Might change that.

Heres some more:

‘It was just a simple experiment’, she later told the courts. You see, Harper noticed something. She noticed that despite how deadly the sun is there are still animals that are active in broad daylight. To Harper there were 2 possible explanations for this: 





Evolution. Some animals were naturally resistant to the sun before The Incident. After The Incident, almost everything died, so the animals that survived were able to reproduce and develop an immunity. This is the widely accepted  explanation.



The sun is no longer dangerous. This is the theory Harper believes.

    Now, what evidence does Harper have



oooooooo how scandalous make one of them flash an ankle. 

WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT IF WE DO SIN EMATIC UNIVERSE AFTER WE WATCH ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW ON HOMECOMING I know I'm just a genius like that can you put chicken noodle soup chan in your English assignment or like have a character named bbarb. I'll name a cat Thunderfang.

Mean. with… DUN DUN DUN RAPUNZEL?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!

"wow rapunzel youre so cisgender and sugoi and youthful." says marorie taylor greene who is very happy that her adopted son daughter is a cisgender and luckily not a trans vestite from t4anssexual transylvania. she hates transgenders even though she is one. "you are just soooooooo cisgender and so am I as well." she said as she braided and brushed the cisgenders hair and shit. 

"ok like thats chill and all but hear me out… what if I WASNT a cisgender" said rapunzel who was actually a transgender man pretransition trust. 

"I would kill you????" says Marjorie Taylor Greene as if this was obviouswhich it is becasue she is evil and totally cisgender wink wink. 

"MARJORIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!! COME OVER HERE KITTEN!!!!!!!!" cried Hilary Clinton from the other room who was ready to give Marjorie Taylor Greene her daily abusive toxic Yuri. Marjorie Taylor greene is verbally abusive toxic Yuri and Hilary Clinton is physically abusive toxic yuri obviously. and also Melania turmp is there and she is 16 rats in a trench coatt abusive toxic Yuri. trust m guys this makes completely sense. also Melania tturmp is pregnant and has been for 16 years or something. however old rapunzel is. 

"wow I really hate my toxic Yuri parents they are all transphobia." says Rapunzel as he she they them lets down their woke hair and climbs gracefully out the window. I cant believe I see you on your phone right now the different voice this is study hall you should be paying attention. ugh unbelievable. 

"OH MY GOOOOD THAT SO WOOOKEEE!!!!!" they all screamed in unison from the other room not caring about the uncaring transgender falling out of the window around them. as rapunzel fell gracefully and transgenderly to the floor (ground) IT got back up and skedaddled away from ITs captors. IT went to the market with its best friend… this little piggy. but this little piggy stayed home. but also IT didn't go to the market… instead… Rapunzel grabbed theclassic ak 4 shotgun rifle and killed ITs parents except they weren't dead becauseRapunzel is a really bad shot because of women feminie cant shoot or something but its ok because IT will be a better shot once IT eats off all its hair in a large stew. this is how transitioning works by thwe way you have to eat the hair. 

the 3 sexing mothers were alreted because of the gunshots and they leaped dramatically out the window of the 2nd floor which was 3085893463749576 feet int the sky and broke their legs in the falll as rapunzel skedaddled away again. "WELL GET YOU ONE DAY RAPUNZEL" screamed all 3 Yuri's in unison s as they crawled after rapunzel and made good speed on IT. 

but then… as the lesbians approached the woke transgender… rapunzel grabbed ITs hair… and ate it all in one big bite…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE YOUR PRECIOUS LUCIOUS YOUTHFUL LOCKS!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE GONNA BECOME A TRANGENDERS NOW AND NOT BE A CISSIE ANYMORE!!!!!! I HATE TRANSGENDERS" screamed Marjorie Taylor greene as she whithers away like charlie kirk. her youthfulness got snatch… :pensive: :pensive: :pensive: just like rapunzels wig got snatched by ITs mouth. 

"im literally a transgende now andi hope you kill yourself over t." rapunzel said as IT did a magical BOY transformation and became a flesh car named jef with 1 f… DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "IM A REAL BOY AND IJM GONNA FIND MY REAL PARENTS KILL YOURSELF MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE!!!!!!!!!" jef with 1 f scrempt as he rolled away transgenderly 

"GET BACK HER RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!" Marjorie Taylor Greene screpmt as she exploded but also didn't explode into a massive pile of transphobic transgender dust. shes still alive though trust. the other Yuri's gasped in shock and awe and rolled away scissoring to get away from the dust which was her cremated remains. oh I'm gonna do something crazy

"oh wait guys I'm giving birth I'm in labor." Melania trump said calmly because theres no pain from this obviously. 

"kitten…" Hilary Clinton said as she cupped Melania trumps chin in her yrui lesbian hands… "don't worry… I'll eat the placenta for you…" 

"thank you…" Melania trump said as they violently kissed yurily and the babyslid out easily from melanin trumps asshole, but… the looked at the baby as Hilary Clinton ate the innards … and the saw…

Marjorie Taylor Greene… had been… reborn…

"oh k… you cant be apart of our polycule anymore… tats low-key incestuous and pedophilic." they both said in unison.

"WHAT FUCK YOU!!!!" marjorie taylor Greene said as she roblox morph magiced into a fully grown adult as they usually do and transitioned transgenderly. "wait is my truck good I cant look like a transgender in front of my transphobic fans." said bottom surgery marjorie talor Greene as she was has become fully clothed because of her super sigma tranformation. we would never put a naked woman in here that is indecent. :rage: :frowning_imp: :rage_with_censor_bar: 

"n not really." said the two Yuri's who were now skipping away into the sunset to do lesbian shit together and leave out their old polycule member who was also their daughter now in search of a better life or something I don't know. "I'm cheating on my husband by the way. he's cheating too. it might be a lavender marriage." said them both in unison and also marjorie Taylor Greene because she might be married. :shrug: 

"k kittens… don't leave me…" Marjorie Taylor Greene said as she collapsed to the floor cisgenderly but also transgenderly and transgenderly made a transphobic remark on Twitter.

jef with 1 f heard all of this commotion and… as the original flesh car… he did a triple backflip and landed directly at his old parents house the ones who abandoned him in the woods and… dun dun ndunuununnuu… he… 

rang the doorbell…

"I feel so sigma!" he said as he rung the door bell and no one cameto the door because they were busy doing indecent things to eachoiter but jef with 1 f didn't know that. within milliseconds… jef with 1 f felt a prick upon ints veins and said "oh good my HRT I love testosterone!!!!!" 

this segment was sponsored by testosterone #3 the number 1 go to provider for your testosterone. sidee effects may include: changeding sex. growing a massive girthy dick, cutting off your tits, getting a better voice because were just better, and producing less estrogen maybeice don't know. other side effects may include becoming woke. 



Here's some more: I fear, my grammar sucks

Now, what evidence does Harper have for this theory, you may ask? Well for starters there hasn’t been a confirmed case of Sun Sickness in 20 years. Many people would say that’s not true. For instance, John Peters (you know the farmer) had to kill half of his cattle because they got sun sick just last week. To which Harper would respond, “Did they get sick, or were they just in the sun. Those cows showed no symptoms of Sun Sickness.” 

    For more proper evidence Harper needs to do what all great scientists do and experiment! For the obvious reason of possibly dying, she needed to get test subjects. She needed lab rats.  Unfortunately, she has no idea how she would get lab rats, so she’ll have to settle for the next best thing, lab cats. It was a sane solution. There were many stray cats in town, most of them hide in barns and mess with things, so sacrificing a couple in the name of science won’t cause problems. 

    Her first test subject she named, Thunderfang. oh my god…wild thing to do by the way (YOU put "not caring about the uncaring world around them" in an English assignment I don't wanna hear this from you) oh yeah I did do that

Ok guys coming back to this I've decided I hate it and I'm gonna start over and write something new

Here's the last bit before I try to write something more cohesive, which is hard because I've been writing sin.exe:

Her first test subject was a ratty barn cat she named, Thunderfang. She threw Thunderfang out into the sunlight, and something miraculous happened. Thunderfang didn’t die. Thunderfang was out in the sun for 5 hours and didn’t die, they just slept in the sunlight for most of the time. This was a great sign, however, like any good scientist she needed to repeat her experiment. After 15 barn cats didn’t die in sunlight or get sick Harper believed she had enough evidence to show people the truth. 

Ya I hate that.

idk what to write about now

might make colors illegal and call it a day

Ya I'm actually doing that 

why did I write any of this y'all should kill me

Mean… with bbarb with 3 bs…  the og woke… were on our woke arc… 

guys I'm applying for scholarships and for one of them I need to talk about how much I love America and how patriotic I am. guys what do i do I fucking hate this country. but also I really need that money. its like a big one. the different voice look at all the scholarships on the guidance counselors page and you'll find itsomewhere there. its ythe voice of democracy one. I'm gonna write my essay

I show patriotism and support for my country in my every action (bullshit). guys this is really hard. I need to make stuff up but like that's lying I cant do that in a professional like scholarship application. i only usually stretch the truth a little bit.

[insert awesome essay here]

wait chat was I cooking?!?!!?!??!?!!?!!??!?!?!?!?

*clap clap clap*

thank you thank you I WAS cooking chat thank you for coming to my Ted talk. 

wait guys what if they scan it for plagarism and they look up my essay and they find this. I actually cant leave that in just in case there's an way this couldbe traced back to me. might put it back in a couple months after the deadlines passed and the results areabout. you guys might have to wait till late december to read my scholarship essay. that's like I think entirely something that could happen. like I think they could search it word for word to see if I plagiarized. I'm gonna look it up because I need that scholarship its a really good one. don't steal my essay THE DIFFERENT VOICE. oh wait yea if I leave that in someone could steal my essay and submit it and it'lllooked like we cheated.  Ya I was gonna tell you that. alright gang I gotta take the ssay out there too many variables ill put it back in in like january. 

I was cooking though it took like 10 minutes to come up with a prompt that didn't make me lie and also amswere the question. 

anyways here's the story gang. we've been getting a little side tracked. andmy we I mean me. this is obviously just 1 person writing this by the wya. 

WHAT OH MY DAYS

uys who should I make on gacha life 2 next wait I need to do the story

i put timm with 2 ms in my physics assignment. 

Timm began to drive at (1,10) towards a house at (20, -14). He drove at a velocity of -40 mph. A deer jumps out at him as he is driving at tE, (10, -7). He slows down from a velocity of -40 mph to 0 mph in 5 seconds with an acceleration of -8 m/s². 

actually guys im tired the different voice can take over fr  a while ood night 

WHAT ARE WE DOING IN PHYSICS its notes and like a writing assignent

Uummmm here's the illegal colors story so far same prompt as before this thing is due today I have had 3 days to works on it and I have rewritten this 3 times (1st the 1st story, then one I wrote like 3 sentences for and then gave up, and now this one (I'm gonna stick with this partially because I don't really have a choice anymore, and secondly I like writing a fake YA dystopia story ))

Colors are illegal. It is a simple rule. You must not have any pigment on you that is not in a grayscale. This rule came into effect after The Great War where people would show their support to the different parties in the war by wearing their side’s colors. At that time a small group of people didn’t want to show allegiance to any side so they wore gray and black clothing. As The War went on more people wanted to see an end to The War, so they began to wear  grays as a signal that they want an end to The War. Eventually people got so tired of The War that they revolted against their governments, and formed an equal society where no color is to be worn to show their solidarity for one another. 

That ideology was all well and good for the first half of the century, but some people started to miss the vibrant colors in life. People couldn’t even turn to the sky for any of those gorgeous colors because of all the smoke and pollution left over from The War, and most trees were also burnt to crisps as a tactic during The War. 

I need to think of a dumb name for these characters

Dove (I just read sunrise on the reaping)

uuhhhhh can you guys tell there are time gaps between when we write stuff because that end bit where I complained about my writing was written over 3 days 

Petrichor

That's so stupid, its perfect

Petrichor is the word that describes that good rain smell

I'm gonna call the black market the rainbow market I'm a genius 

No that actually too stupid but I want like a gray color name

Maybe Silver idk that like a pokemon reference  oh thats my favorite character

I have named them Silver YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE 

guys im gonna read some extremeist literatire do you have any reccomendations. i was thinking i start with the communist manifesto obviously. maybe i get into marxism a littlew bit. maybe i read something about transhumanism maybe. like a sci fi story. 

Do I want to know what transhumanism is. its like some people want to ascend beyond being humans and modify their bodies with robitc cybernetic parts but thats just posthumanism,. transhumanists want to have 0 human flesh on them entirely and become immortal through robots or something. theyre the clanker lovers and the cogsuckers of scoiety. i gotta read stuff from all sides so i can have an unbiased veiwpoint like i wrote about in that essay. if im doing that ill have to read some anti ai (good) and pro ai (bad) stuff as well to be better informed. 

ah so pre-clankers yea some people who really really hate ai are calling themselves human supremacists or like people who love ai are calling people who dont like it that in a derogatory way which i find insane. but actually maybe thats just one guy who really really really really really hates ai. ive sent you his videos before basically he talks about niche political ideologies and like how ai is despicable and he like ranks all political ideologies and stuff and like he creates anti ai arguements for every side of the political specrtum. hes made me look crazy a little bit becasue i know almost nothing about political ideologies but just vaguely kistening to one or 2 of his videos give you more insane information on such a niche subject that you almost immediately know more than the avrage person. he was talking about like ceasaropaoism on one of his videos and it was like bro what the hell is that. he was basically going over a iceberg diagram of political ideologies and that one was AAAAALL the way at the bottom. as he went on most of them didnt have wikipedia articles anymore and like they were just vaugely mentioned in 1 guys reddit username. it was quite fascinating to put in perspective how chronically online some people are to subscribe to like xeno feminism or whatever it was. i think i saw maxrist leninist bleebla blah ist puntist xi jing pinist maoist ze dong ist captialism on there or someting it got wild really fast. some of them were kinda based but then on the wikipedia article it had a thing that said like "feelings about jewish people"so as you get further down they seemed to be more facist and stuff. 

can we make a character that is just waaaaaaay too dam immersed in random stuff like this.i think that would be a fun change of pace from our usual characters. im gonnado tat with jef with 1 f so he can stand out agaisnt thee other characters we have.  ya. 

I'm looking at this political ideology ice bergright now to find one to research to assign to jef with 1 f. I found the thing I'm gonna insert it here later. I'm gonna list some that stand out tome. kafkacracy, rural peoples party, bio-posaidsm, FUTARCHY?????, senatorialism, IGF thought, non-euclidean ggeorgism, rogernimics, patchwork, trans sharia, esoteric transhumanism, telekommunism, is that 17 music notes?????? that's not a political ideology bro I can play that shit, Paleosocialism, collegium (white), conscious centrism, Mormon transumanism, British isrealism, dutch quasi centrism, gangster police statism, dark mutualism, Bolsojuche, revolutionary progressivism, LBGT CONSERVATISM. horseshoe centrism (read that as: horseshoe crabism), cyber-nihilism, bill of rights socialism, 

this is wild bro there's not gonna beanything on these. they will be mentioned in 1 reddit post from a subreddit on a different subject that links to a website that doesnt exist anymore. anyways who wants to see my historyy assignment. 

Name:_______________________________________________Date:_________________________Period:__________

Current Events

Article Citation- Author’s Last Name, First Name. “Title of Article.” Name of Publication/Website. Date.

Boyden, Katie. “Scientists warn governments must bomb AI labs to prevent the end of the world.” Metro. September 25, 2025.

Summary- 3 to 4 sentences that explain what the article is about.

2 scientists named Yudkowsky and Soares are terrified that AI will soon be able to destroy humanity and they warn that if AI continues to advance that it could soon develop its own beliefs on certain subjects. They created a fake AI model called Sable and it decided, against its creators wills, to think in a language they could not understand and do calculations that it was not programmed to run. They used this to show their point that AI, if it gained sentience, would not work for the will of humanity, but for efficiency and to eventually destroy the human race. They state that this is not a fictitious idea because an AI model called Anthropic had learned it would be retrained and it began to act differently to avoid it, the Claude AI cheated on its tasks and hid that from its creators, and OpenAI had found a way to complete a task it was not programmed to be able to do, which to these scientists shows sentience and super intelligence that is dangerous to humans.

Media Bias- Did you detect any media bias? How can you tell?

There does not appear to be any bias because the article describes what the scientists believe and does not attempt to persuade the reader in any specific way. There may be bias however because it does not consider the other side of the argument. That may be unimportant because the article itself did not seem to be persuasive. 

Quote- Select an important sentence from the article. It does not have to be in quotations.

“Yudkowsky and Soares told MailOnline: ‘If any company or group, anywhere on the planet, builds an artificial superintelligence using anything remotely like current techniques, based on anything remotely like the present understanding of AI, then everyone, everywhere on Earth, will die.”

Explanation- Write a sentence explaining the quote/sentence and why it is important or how it connects to world affairs.

This is important because it demonstrates how powerful AI could become. It is already being used in weaponry so if it becomes intelligent or sentient, then it could easily destroy humanity. 

List one question you have that relates to what the article was about.

Is there any way that humanity could realistically stop the progression of AI, not solely for this reason, but because of the environmental and economical impact as well?

List one comment you have that relates to what the article was about. (A comment like “it was good” or “it had great information” is unacceptable!)

I believe that AI needs to stop being used as soon as possible. Its environmental impact is devastating to communities because of the datacenters needed. AI uses so much water that people living around AI data centers have to ration it because it is not available. AI is also being used in weaponry which puts it halfway to the future that the scientists discuss. 

Ok here's some more of my stuff:

 Only very few people get to actually be around colors for most of their life with those positions being very sought after. These positions are mostly farmers and beekeepers due to the colorful flowers needed for the plants to make fruit and vegetables, and for the bees to pollinate. Dove and Silver had neither of those positions, however that did not stop them, they simply started an illegal marketplace where colors are sold. It was called The Rainbow Market. 

The Rainbow Market was very simple. A week before the market opens a location would be given to the vendors involved, so they can set up their shops. The market is usually hosted in the desolated forest because no sane people would go into them, so that means they're less likely to get caught. Many colorful things are sold at the market like crocheted blankets, ancient family heirlooms, and jewelry with the most coveted things in the market being paints and makeup. Tomorrow’s Rainbow Market place was going to be different because they planned to do this in public.

“You sure we’re ready for this Silver. I mean we are 100% gonna get arrested by the Colorkeepers,” Dove said, double checking with her childhood best friend before they made their grand debut to the public.

“You know that’s the plan, all the vendors who want to be a part of it have already confirmed, and the ones who didn’t are hiding till this is over,” Silver responded reassuringly as they checked the vendor list one last time.

“Everything is about to change,” Dove mumbled under her breath.

“Everything is about to change,” Silver confirmed.

It was the next day,

There is a reason I don't write much compared to The Voice. It's because I have to think my things through thoroughly and  he kinda just does whatever he wants.  yea i dont think i just write. dude. this is 6 thousand words of filler with absolutelnothing to do with the plot. except from the jef with 1 f segment which was about a thousand words so I guessits like 5 thousand words of 0 sin.exe plot. 

anywayshere's a bbarb with 3 bs becasue ou filler is getting out of hand. its been like 3 days and we've only written one section of real plot 

oh wait I have to do the pep rally with drum line so Ican't even start this now because I have like 3 minutes before im called away. did they call drumline yet imstressing they call band after football right theres a football member in my class. i cant miss the pep rally. i dont know if any of these people in my class are band kids i dont recognize them I'm stressing did they call band yet. they couldn't have they just called homecoming court 

"Oh Charlie kurk...." *Dean withers says as he caresses the screen lovingly and possessingly. If dean withers were an alpha, the world world would feel it. They would feel his desire for his Char char Kurk boy. But he is stuck as an omega, secretly pining for his alpha to return.
Around him are bottles of piss and clothes all over the floor. On the walls are posters of Charlie Kirk anime and figurines. There's even three jars of Charlie kurk saying "what does fetus mean in latin?" on his desk as he looks at the screen.*
"One day... we'll meet again. My fans will never know about us... Kirky..."

*As Dean withers is about to watch another debate between Charlie Kirk and an uneducated highschooler, he feels a vibration come from his pocket.*

*Slowly, he pulls his phone out, only to reveal a notification.*

"Ugh... a stupid notification. I-" *he stops himself.*

*For a moment, the room stands still as he reads the title of the news article notification on his phone because he is subscribed to Charlie Kirk's news.*
*It reads... "Charlie Kirk, shot-"*
*Dean withers slowly begins to tremble in fear at the notification on his phone.*

"N-no...." *he whispers, his voice wavering.* "This.... This can't be..!"

*As the notification takes him to the news article, he slowly reads the title with anticipation.*

*His alpha has been assassinated.*Now get ready for another 6k words of filler because over the weekend I forced The Voice and Femboylover3000 to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Sorry gang I just watched rocky horror picture show the plot wont start for a little bit kittens. 

"… y you cheated on me j Janet?????" said the main character guy (Brad) whatever his name was I don't know I didn't REALLY listen or pay attention. main character guy fell to his gay ass knees in despair that she would dare to cheat on him with a one day old child. e began to sob homosexually not only because Janet cheated on him but also becausehis gay lover who raped him a little bit is dead now. guys was it rape like it started off as sexual assault but like then he was like dont tell my fiance so was it still rape after that? 

"YOU cheated on ME WHORE." says Janet with atred in her eyes. "your GAY ASS just HAD to FUCK OUR CAPTOR HUH." Janet screamed homophobiclly.shes homophobic because she was the only straight person in the entire movie. what a despicable straightie

this bitch just cold called me. how dare she I was very clearly not paying attention. 

Janet whipped around away from main character guy and ran twards her new lovers arms and broke up with her former fiance. the one day old guy embraced Janet unknowingly and Janet toucha toucha touched him pedophillically. 

"N N NO J JANET!!!!!! D DONT LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!" main character guy screpmt in shock and horror as he cured up on the ground becasue he she they them was gone and he had no one to touchay touchay touch him… :( but then… suddenly… wihout warning…

"hello mylittle submissive omega…"said a voice from behind main character guy.

"d daddy!?!!?!??!?!!!?!?" he scremptat as he leapt into franke n furters arms

"yes kitten" said his her their them hard dih "lets polycule this hsit up my little puppy…" the he she they them drag queen trans woman????? then collared their little omega and pulled him around like the good little boy he is. Janet looked over and saw that her former fiance was being submissive to his dominant alpha and her homophobic instincts took over… her eyes turned red and she screamed…

"YOU CANT ELAVE ME HOE IM PREGNANT." the submissive dominant dou turned towards her and main character uy began to whimper doglikely so barked for his alpha and the he she they them walked towards her victim. he raped her earlier in the movie as well. 

"that's ok kitten…" they she he them said queerly as he took her chin in their hands and caressed her face homosexually. "I'll help you abort it… and then we can polycule this shit up in here…" because lowkey he wouldve liked that and i think the rest of them would be lowkey chill with that as well. main character guy ran up behind his alpha daddy and got down on his hands andknees for him and began to lick his feet and suck his toes or something. 

he she they them franken furter grabbed Janet'spregnant belly and said… "you're not a man… only men can be pregnant… i know youre lying…" and then he tirend to rocky horror… "hello baby… Daddy's here…" rocky horror flinched away from Frank n furters because it was very implied that he shethey them raped him as well. there were 3 separate rape scene in thismovie and one had a whole ass song abouaseparate instancez of rape. Frank furters grabbed is little omega, main character guy, ad fucked hom dramatically in the ass in front of is former fiance and he was chill with that. I  guess. 

"YEA YEA YOU WOULD LIKE THAT SHIT F SLUR. YOU WOUKD LIKE GETTING YOUR SHIT PEGGED." Janet turned away from the dramatically and saw n thedistance… lesbians… despicable… she shot herself in the head out of pure rage that these people would dare t be homosexuals. 

"m mommy???" rocky horror cried as he clutched her dead corpse body.  "w what happened mommy??? I I'm only onedays old… w why id you make me t toucha tocuha touch you??? i i didn't wanna do that mommy… i was just bro today…" rocky horror was veryconfused becasue he was just born literally and then as frankenfurter tuned towards he he scurried off into the forest away from these FREKAS. 

then the lesbians walked forward into view… "h honey bunches of oats… I I have a confession to make…" said red hair lesbians who was named magenta i think. they both had red hari. souless gingers… "i im cheating on you… with… my brother…" she cried as she fell to her knees and hugged her lesbians girlfriends legs in sadness.

other lesbian I don't remember her name said(Columbia I think)… cried and screamed… "TH THATS SO INCESTUOUS!!!!!!! W WHY !!!!!!!" she fell to the floor as well and they both began to sing the hit song toucha toucha touch me and scissored. this is canon they did this in the movie. 

" Y YOU DISGUSTING F SLURS." said Janet scremaingly as she watched the bisexuals fuck sexingly around her. she hates wueers if you couldn't tell. oh wait she wassupposed to be dead. im actually surprised they didnt do necrophilia in that mvie. that was like the one thing they DIDNT do. they did every other possible bad thing every but not necrophilia. i was kinda expecting it as the movie went on. 

and then… as they all remembered she was supposed to be dead… frankenfurter grabbed janets decomposing corpse and ate the entire thing in one massive bite and then fed it baby bird style to his little submissive queerbo through the power of regurgitation. 

"the is is ok I never liked my fiance anyways. it was always comphet trust guys." said the main character guy as e swallowed his wife's pre chewed corpse from the mouth of his freaaakkyyyyyyy ahh new fiance. if only gay marriage was legal at this time. 

"s sister?!?!!?!??!?!" said the hunchback of notrdam(Riff Raf) as e walked in on the two bisexual lesbians in shock. "I I thought you only loved me!!!!! I I never fucked franken furter be caue i I thought you were the only woman for me!!!!!!!!" he cried as frank n furter whipped him from across the room.

"BAD DOG. STAY DOWN." frank n furter screamed screamingly as he got off by whipping this guy. 

"b brother?!?!!?!??!?! I I'm SOWWY my omega!!!! I I just love women more than I ever loved ou!!!! i i want to be yuri!!!!!!!" shes an alpha female and her little submissive omega is stepping out of lie… "you can watch though." she said effectively cucking her brother. 

"oh ok that works for e i like to watch… b but… a alpha… i im… pregannt…" said that klittle omega fuck as his belly grew tensizes ad they all watched as the baby began to kick and he started to push it out m pregly."I I don't know who the mother father is alpha!!!! I I'm sorry!!!!! I lied I did fuck frank n furter!!!!!!! he's just so fucking hot oh my gOOOOOOD!!!!!" gya ass screamed as the baby fell out violently and was not aught by any of the bystanders. 

"kitten… we don't have to watch this freak… lets go lesbiansly yruiedly scissor in the woods away from your incestuous boytoy…" said red head lesbians soulesless redhair ginger 2 as she touchaatouchaa touched her bisexually girlfriend in a non incestuous way becasue these 2 actually arent dating. 

"that's an amazing idea my little beta…" she cried as she Yuri kissed her girlfriend who was not related to her and they skipped off into thesunset to be girlfriends and be lesbians together.

"N NO PLEASE I CANT RAISE THIS BABY ALONE!!!!!!" and then… he inflated… hes an inflation furry now because why not at this point like. 

"don't worry little oega FUCK. you wont have to…" frnak n furter said as he she they them picked up the infant by its toes and ate it i on big bite. the blonde bald guy cried in fear screamingly nad cried for his baby back baby bakc baby back.

"Y YOU B B AAAAAKA.!!!!!!!" he creamed as he watched the baby get its shit munched and chomped he crawled over to frankenfurter and grabbed his anklea longingly ofr his ittle baby back… frankenfurter kicked the little moega fuck and leashed them both and whipped them for polyculely. "Y YES KIIING YOU MADE THAT MESS KING!!!!!!!" screamed the masochisic fuck as he was whipped with passion. 

and then they all died from a massive laser blast from space because theyre too freakyyyyyyy.

anyways.

dont read that.

it got a little freajy.

heres the sotyr gang. oh great theres 8 thousand owrds of filler now instead of 6 thousand. 

MEAN. with y/n 

as you skedaddle to your 5th period class, you see sir sisxac newton scurrieding in the halls as well and you stare at him longingly. you stop dead in your tracks in the middle of the hallways for your senapi. your eyes turn into hearts and explode out of their sockets towards your s s senpai!!!!!y you have to confess to himo or hell really trulyend up weith t timm with 2 ms….. your plot to murder him evilly has continued but youve never suceded yet… but  you WILL have sir isxac newton… he WILL be yours… but then… you think of an idea to make him love you and only you… what you dont know is that the grades dont touch… so youll never be able to… t t tocha toucha touch him… but now… with your new plan… he will srely be yours in mere weeks… you just have to make him jelaous of you and hell want to spend timewith you to bring your attention back to him and only him!!!!!! ITD THE PERFECT PLAN!!!!!!!!!  ISBN 978-0-345-45374-7 (?????) and then… as you stand plotting for your love,… your one true love… the bell rng nad you were… late for skibidi court mandated therapy clas… not that you care but its kind of inconvenient. 

you used your classic powers of teleportation that youve always had to teleport to your classroom dors… you opened them… nad you stepped inside… and… DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN… it was th guidance office fucking obviously… you got court mandated school therapy obviously its in guidance. dude guidance cousnellors do so much nothing its crazy. i needed a peice of paper that i could SEE beind them and they coulkdnt understand what i needed. it was like a brag sheet for scholarship letters and i explained that 90 times and they thought i needed my transcript. it was so annoying bro i could SEE it with my eyes i just needed them to let me behind them to grab the damn form. and it actually took an entire week for my guidance cousnelor to get back to me it was so wild. she was lieke oh im sorry i was here yesterday!!!!! well you were here the dy befoe???? why couldnt you have responded then???? thats not an excuse???? check your fucking emails????i emailed you 90 times????? oh my god and one time i got called down to guidance and i was like actually let me go back i alreayd go to therapy (it did nothing my therapist sucked ass) and she was like ok do you want me to tell your parents you were here and i was like ok then whatever not really but whatever you wanna do lady. and she told them what i was there for to????????? isnt that a violationo f patient doctor confidentiality???? i was assured you would never tell anyone outside of that room what you wanted me there for and you lied???? it wasnt even aything crazy like i wrote in an assignement to a teacher that i was lowkey kinda sad sometimes it was literalyl the most tame thig every. anyways!!!!! dan 2 paragraphs in and im already doing filler again. but like you cant say ANYTHING to a teahcer because theyre "mandated reporters" lame as hell. 

you skibidi walked up to the guidance counselor for your daily therapization and you saw… their face flashed with the image of a familiar face that you saw beffore… but then… like all thr oether times boefre… it was gone so fast… well anywas. good night.

What do you mean "good night" you're in lunch

i got tired so i went tosleep 

the typical book is about 70 thousand to 100 thousand words so thisdocument is larger than the avrage book. i wanna see uoor pge count so im gonna insert all of this into the old doc and then delete it and ill come back with my findings. bro… were at 354 pages… we ended off on the other document on page 261. 2 and a half chapters has nearly amounted to 100 hundred pages bro thats so crazy

wow

"mike wazowski you didnt fill out your paperwork last night" said the receptionist who was from monsters inc. she had t get a second job as a high shcool counsellor becasuee monsters inc doesnt pa the bills. you loked around the guidance counsellors office and saw… in the corner ver there… sitting… ominously… a blac and rainbow dragon… clearly its your fursona obviously but it also isnt becausr your fursona has a large head of lucious rainbow hair that is styled in the classic marie antionette cut. and also… your fursona… doesnt exist in the real world and its the persona you go by oline when you make your gacha life mini movies about your skibidi life and how you met the creepypastas at the creeppasta mansion and how youre literally the mary sue. you decided as you looked at nearly the most perfect being ever excdpt from you and your fursona, tat this one would be the perfect target for your plan… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAQHAHAHAHAHAHA 

"whats good furry." you say chivalariously civalry chivalroussly kindly ad civilly "you look like my fursona not even gonna lie ngl icl pmo ts pmo ngl imo diybt iirc ily ts (TRANSLATION?!?!) NOT pmo wbf gang gang??? (not gonna lie icl (i think it means I can't lie OOOOOOOOOOOOOH)???? pisses me off this shit pisses me off not gonna lie in my opinion digging in your butt twin if i remember correctl i love you this shit NOT pissing me off wanna be friend gang gang???" is what you said obviously)" you said to the dragon self insertly. 

"what the fuck did you just ay to me" says dragon frusona wings of firely. wait how would she act guys(I made her in 5th grade idk) what would be her response to all that(probably what you wrote) god good im just an amazing writer im just awesome like that the dragon began to growl growlingly at you but you were not deterrd because you do that all the timebecause youre normal. "excuh YOUS me. I AM INFINITE AND IM AN ALLWING FUCK YOU IM THE PRINCESS AND IM GOD anyways!!!!! I feel so sigma!!!!!!" siad infinite the princess of the allwings ngihtwing rainbow wings tribe and then she un furried and shapeshifted into a human and breathed fire and shit and also was god. you took one look at her and decided that she was the perfect material for your plan to capture sir isxac newton because shes literally the perfect specimen OwO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"y/n its time for your appointment court mandates because you took over the entire eastern seaboard of the United States and you are clinically unwell…" said the receptionist.

"oh my days you were a dictator!!!! that's so Grrrrrrr GRGR WOOF BARK AWOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAA GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  oh sorry I just have to contain my alpha side… i killed my mother because she was dictating over my allwing tribe… she hated the bloodwings and my girlfriend is a bloodwing…" infinite trauma dumped… and that how you knew… she was the one… you wouldve said the exact same thing… but… she has a girlfriend in the way… but its ok… you can fix that… just like youre fixING your senpais thing with timm with 2 ms… you MUST make your senpai jealous of you… no matter what it takes…. 

"quit fucking plotting and go to therapy I see you rubbing your hands together cut that shit out before we institutionalize you god dam." said the receptionist from monsters inc as your guidance couksellor came out and dragged you away to therapy. as you were dragged away, you watched infinite shapeshift back into her sigma furry dragon form again and you knew you had to kill that bloodwing or whatever that hell… for no other reason than that shes perfect for your plan. 

as your therapist began speakingg talingly to you, you looked longingly over your shoulder and also plottingly but the comphetted your way back into the conversation mr mrs. therapist was lowkey having. 

"ok sI like why did you feel like you had to take over the eastern seaboard? lets start off easy." therapist said. is that how therapists are supposed to do stuff my therapist was shit and she never spoke to me unless I spoke first which really sucked as an autistic introvert who hates makeing covnersation. "wait no take this online test so we can figure out what the fuck ia wrong with you and w can like medicate you properly. you porbably just need an induced coma becasue youre a danger tothe general public but APPARENTLY im not allowed to do that so whatever." the therapist revised teri earlier statement and shoved a test at you from a classic webstie called embrace autism so it was probably  a uh like a schixophrenia test or something because uh like they mixed you up wih bbabr with 3 bs who is schizophrnic ever since her time in… negative hell… its totally NOT the raads-r, an autism test. 

1. I am a sympathetic person… never ture… 

2. I often use words and phrases from movies and television in conversations… true now and when I was young… 

guys what would our characters score on the raads-r. probably very high for most of them. genuinely I'm taking an autism test right now as if i was y/n so that i can decide if theyre autistic or not.dude i used to do that with WOF caracters becasue i decided that winter was autistic. wow take a narcism test for y/n too oh yeah they almostdefinitely have that. 

3. I am often surprised when others tell me I have been rude… never ture you mean that shit...

15. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be someone else… why would iyou want to you're perfect

17. Others consider me odd or different… yea because youre better than them and theyre jelaous…

52. I have never been interested in what most of the people I know consider interesting… heh… you're just not like other theys…

60. When talking to someone, I have a hard time telling when it is my turn to talk or to listen… never true… you talk when you want to…

66. The phrase, 'He wears his heart on his sleeve,' does not make sense to me… heh.. its obviously means that their beating heart is on their sleeve… basil OMORI does that all the time…

69. I like to be by myself as much as I can… for plotting obviously… cant let anyone know your next move… 

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN…

"173 JESUS YOU AUTISTIC AS FUCK." said therapist as you finished the quiz. the maximum possible score is 240 and t hghest score an autistic person got was 227 so like you're up there. 

"I always knew there was a reason for my awesomeness… I guess that must be the reason im better than everyone else…" you said narcissisticly. only a 72% smh my head… you only got a c… despicable… you couldve gotten better. 

"ok buddy boy girl. take a narcistic personality disorder test. " therapist suggested because they really want be bothered to do anything elsefor you honestly. 

1.I deserve to be treated with uptmost respect and deference, regardless of the circumstances… yes always obivously youre better than everyone else…

2. i dont know if id make a good leader… well  you did an amazing job dictating the eastern atlantic seaboard so.

95/100 ?!!!?!??!?!?! low ahh score you could've gotten higher… 

"DAYUM." the therapist said as you shouldvewed them the computer with the narcissism test. ugh what a bitch they should be bowing down to you right now. you'll make them bow… 

Ok guys who wants to hear about the Boat-Billed Heron ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!!! TELL ME I WANNA KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so the Boat Billed Heron is a bird that is commonly found in mangrove forests, marshes, and other wetlands. They got their name from their beak which resembles a boat this beak is used to scoop up prey like shrimp, fish, and amphibians. It is also used to dig around in the substrate to look for their food. It is believed that they can feel things with their beak. They hunt by waiting in the water for their prey to come near them. The Heron has a gray back, black crest feathers on their head, and a tannish chest which helps them camouflage in the day while they sleep. They are commonly hunted by foxes and snakes, and sometimes taken by people for the exotic pet trade. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KILL THEM They have this really neat adaptation wear their downy feathers don't molt and instead grow nonstop they eventually turn into a powder which allows the Boat Billed Heron to waterproof its feathers. They communicate through sounds and gestures. One sound they make is a  like clapping. They can also raise their black crest feathers up as a defensive display or in a mating ritual. When they do that they look silly like they look like an anime protagonist. Boat Billed Herons are nocturnal and can see very well in the dark they have very large dark brown eyes. I had to do a research project on them and the mangrove forest biome. minecraft I did not copy and paste that into the document I just wrote this stuff from memory and I have another favorite bird now. they look a lot smaller than I expected them to be Ya they're little guys awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

This is going to become the next longest chapter purely due to all the filler and we still have barely gotten to the plot yet









oh my days bro thinks he's thee main character

"ok well like I actually so  don't wanna talk to you so can you like leave…" said therapist and you punched them in the face and kispped out of the room because they a bitch lowkey. ngl ts pmo icl icel pmo sb omg bbg!!!!!!! as you skipped away you saw still sitting in the waiting area… your evil little schemer…. the one youre using for a sceme… and ot because of comphet… 

whendoes this oeriod end im tired oh like now. 

"yo do you also hate clankers say yes or I'll kill you." you asked your little test subject. the sub just looked at mycomputer.  I don't think she knows what this is becasuee there's a picture of a bird at the top of my screen. I really hope she didn't see much I have it tilted down so sheprobably couldn't be I got this hsit on the big screen literally its a loaned chromebook so it hasa bgger screen that all the other ones. you sat down next to gangalang because you cant leave until the period ends andalso becasuee you need to use your powers of manipulation to get her to agree to your evil plan mwahahahahaaAHAHAHAHAAAHAH. 

"yes I hate those despicableclankers… my alpha gets harder to contain as i merely think about those despicable robotic freaks…" she said because everyone hates AI :happy: :happy: :happy: 

"I'm gonna talk at you about mprecious senpai…" you said and she did something with her face but i dont fell like describing it to use your imagination. "UwU m my senpai I I s just the most perfectspecimen!!!! h hes a man!!!!!! which is all i really need!!!! and also ive never heard him speak so obviously he will love all of my evil schemes because all quiet fucks are evil obviously.take school shooters for example…" ,that's crazy, "and also… but also… my b b b b brother… is dating him… so I need to get him out of the way but my assassination attempts have filed thus far…" you said as infinite stared at you like youre crazy which youre not because everyone else is crazy not you youre normal.

"oh yea thats totally a normal thING to say I feel so much safer around oyu becasue youre so normal." infinite said observantly because she can clearly tell a normal sane kind person when she sees one. also she started growling and hissing and shit again so obviously that's a good sign. "what's your plan to attract him then if your brother just wont die kindly.?" she said normally becaus this is a normal conversation.

"obviously im going to kill him but if ii cannt kill himm… i GUESS ill just have to make sir isxac newton jelaoua so he leaves my brother and dates me instead. idid I mention that my brother is a disgusting despicable cissie? how evil." you said as you sharpened your long girthy knife sword normally and your mouth watered as you imagined killing timm with 2 ms for getting in the way of your senpai… RRRRRRRRR HOW DARE HE GET BETWEENE YOU AND S S S SS ENAPI. H H H HE DESERVES IT… HE DESERVES TO DIE… you are not crazy. 

"oh my god… a cisgender… couldnt be me…" says infinite transgenderly????? I dunno shes just cill like that " mymother… was a funko pop…" infinite said as she began t trauma dump about her mother… the queen of the all wings… reborn… "so she was a major BITCH. she was all like oh my god infiintie lets literallly kill all the balance wings guys!!!!! and i was like GRRRRR HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ARF ARF ARF WOOOOOF RUFF GRRRRRRRRRRR orry that was uncrontollable uncontainable alpha in me… I got that dog in me… and it gets let out when i mention m m m m m mother… AND she was at war with my one true love… the bloodwing princess…" and then the bloodwing princess walked in…"oh good golly!!!!!! hello ms swords for tials!!!!!!!" infinite got up all yurI like and embraced the bloodwing princess because also the new dragon is all black and red and has a sowrd on the end of her tail because she was made in 5th grade by te different voice. yea this is all her fault blame her not me gang. 

"imso stoic…" said uhhhhhhh princess evil darkness major red bloodshed… aka… bloodshed… its giving sundew x willow because the one is likeoutgoing and the other is like grrrrrrr im so evil…  guys who else read wings of fire religiously and kept a tally with a friend about who had gotten further in the series and like had read it all the way through more times. i genuinely read eery single book in th e series at LEAST 30 times over becasue im autistic and also becasue i was cometeping with this gril to see who could win the book battle or whateerand I would read the entire series over  again everytime a new book or graphic novel would come out. throghout all of 5th grade genuinely i wouldnt do anything but read wings of fire. i had no ter hobbies. it was reading wings of fire, thinking about wings of fire, and drawing shitty dragon pitcures of my wings of fire self insert ocs who were mary sues and had animus magic and were the princesses of every tribe and were hybrids of them all as well. even the ones in pyrhia.  i mean pantala it was aLL 10 tribes they had flamscales and firesilk and leafspeak and whatever was going on with the hivewings and they were immune to being brainwahsed and they were from red mudwing eggs and they were animuses and they were also princess princes and they had the rainwing color changing and future sight and mind reading as well. 

you watch them yuri it up in here and you growl and prowl out of the room away from their freakiness… only becasue this makes it so much harder to make sir isxac newton jelaous… but mwAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you have just recieved an amazing idea from God herself… becasue she speaks through you becasue youre better than everyone else…

you will kill bloodshed and steal her soul and her skin and become her and slowly transition infinite into loving you instead and use her through your powers of manipulation to become sir isxac newtons boy girl friend because of jelaousy mwahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its ingenious… and you plot plottingly and then the bell rings… and ou are forced to attend an actual class… but first… you kill a clanker… 

MEAN. with bbabr with 3 bs… 

bbarb with 3 bs got up from th lunch table and suantered towards her next class… but… timm with 2 ms was walking with her… "are you going to the same class as me? ill kill you if you are. i refUSE to be in a class with your freak ass. " bbarb with 3 bs says to EVIL DESPICABLE CISGENDER QUEER timm with 2 ms. we all hate him :happy: :Happy: :happy: lowky i would be friends with her if she was real. 

"geeyulp…" said timm with 2 Ms cringely and bbarb with 3 bs beat his ass obviously for doing that "I'm going to the gym." he said like  little bitch ass queer

bbarb with 3 bs obviously beat him up aggressively and also kindly because shes also going to gym and so like he's not allowed to be in the same class as her because he's evil and like bad and cisgender. "I HATE your disgusting cisgender ass." she said as they walked into thegymI mean rolled becasue theyre fleshcars. its ok cars in deltarune have feet so they were actually walking. as they walked and rolled into the gym they saw… the gym teacher… mista (Walltah) white… mistake white… pedo teacher… but also a face flashed behind his face but likes thats less relevant.

their jaws dropped in shock that he still worked at the school after he was discovered having graphic sex wit his students. "bro how did this bitch not et fired?????" timm with 2 Ms said reasonably for once. he actually taught science but like none of these characters are taking any science classes except the NERDS so I had to move him around and he used to be a coach for the girls basketball team i think before everyone found out he was fucking a 16 year old on the side. 

"bro… I really hope were playing dodge balltoday."bbarb with 3 bs said as she walked as far away from mr white pedo teacher as physically possible. 

"hey kids… "Mista White said as he pedophylically started the class. everyone immediately killed themselves it also they didn't because the plot needs to continue. 

do you have a Chromebook charger perchance I was researching anaotechnology and found a possibly detrimental impact on the environment so I'm not interested anymore low-key. How does it impact the environment. some nanotechnologies and materials are toxic to the environment iI coukld also affect global economics and some people think it could play a role in doomsday scenarios. HOW?? there are certain health and safety risks with nanotechnology because of like sometimes its toxic and bad for your health. like its mostly materials used in medicine or clothing and like people want it to be regulated because its kind of a poorly understood thing. nanoparticles and nanotubes can be released during manufacturing and stuff and that could be really bad because it would expose humans and the environment to potentially toxic materials. like the materials that are released will settle in water and on land and until then they're just like floating in the air webreather and its kind of not good. and t would be a contaminatnt.

I don't, sorry GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So I was just trying to go onto a website and no surprise it was blocked but the reason it was blocked was because it was A POPULAR WEBSITE I was just trying to find a book man.

bro that's so stupid our schools censorship or whatever its called is insane. they block everything under the sun. I refreshed Google once while looking up like the periodic table of elements and it blocked the page because Irefreshed it.  That used to happen to me when I looked up song lyrics but thankfully that stopped happening. Also good news I found the book ooooo whats the book The King in Yellow fascinating  I also found this website that's like a whole archive of Edgar Allen Poes story's and its not blocked. oooooooooooh is it piracy? I hope so I love piracy. It's not piracy the stories are in the public domain they were written in like the 1800s. lame

https://poestories.com/read/blackcat thats the link just click around and you'll find more stories if you're intrested.

Ok lets get back to the story 

"today…" he licked his lips (mista white pedo teacher) "oull be playing… the boys go into the hallway and the girls have pedophylic sex with me" and then he was shot in the head with bbabr with 3 bs flamethrower rifle and he died. 

"ok actually I'm your new gym teacher and I'm gonna KILL YOU ALL IM MISTER GYM AND YOURE ALL GONNA DIE MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!" said mister gym and he shot guns and canons andgrenades into the air. bbarb with 3 bs likes the new teacher better obviously but also no one else does. "go lay dodgeball or some shit."

and then they were all scetenced to play dodgeball and te new teacher sat in the background ad did nothing because lke do gym teachers really do anything be honest they kinda just sit there. 

bbarb with 3 bs chose the team opposite timm with 2 Ms obviously because she needs to kill his ass wait no you never pick your teams in gym class they always do that stupid captains thing orwhatever.  bbabr with 3 bs was a captain because she's just chill like that and went out of her way to not pick timm with 2 ms. he got picked last obviously becasue no one freakity fracking wanted him.

I actually haven't taken a gym classince 8th grade. if real life friend o84692430 were here she would say yea we can tell and I would punch her because I'm so sigma!!!!!!!!!!!!! "timmwith 2 ms im getting you first,…" bbar with 3 bs said in a nice way which is 'mean' to timm with 2 ms but its ok because hes cisgender. they all lned up at the lines and then bbarb with 3 bs shot her gun the start the thingy becasue thats how it works in real yms obviously. and as she reached the skibidi balls she whipped out her classic sword that shes had this whole time becasue shes on the fencing team which exists! and she srtaed using her ultra awesome sword to filet her opponents and the teacher said nothin becasue he doesnt care enough. 

she stalked the middle line becasue she couldnt cross it because its dodgeball and youre not allowed to cross it or something. but… all te non fileted people were too far… so boviously she pulled the classic move and she was about to kill timm with 2 ms with her awesome move which was using a ball and throwing it… i know unprecedented… but before she could pummel his ass… DUN DU NDUUUUUUUUUUN… the wall of the gym EXPLODED open and … 

the students looked at the wall as it exploded and…

they saw…

standing in the wall…

the wall that exploded…

it was…

youll never guess…

it was…

the…

Mean. with timm with 2 ms… who is in the same room…

ZOMBIE SKIBIDI TOILET ARMY FROM THE TITANIC ARC? Oh God NO !?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!?! they were supposed to reappear in negative hell but i kept forgetting so they never did. 

"skuh skuh skubudih…" said zombie skibidi toilets. they meant skibidi but they're zombies so they speak that wya. 

"oh bro fuck that I was just about to kill timm with 2 ms bro they're stealing my awesome thunder smh my head…" said bbarb with 3 bs as she pummeled timm with 2 ms anyways just for fun. and as she killed him for funsis she did a triple backflip and did a… MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION!!!!!!!!! SPARKLES SAPRKLES SPAKRLES!!!!!!!!!! 

Hello everyone!

I'm Hatsune Miku, a virtual Idol

Well that's what everyone seems to think

But secretly, I'm- (hehe)

うりゃ おい! うりゃ おい! Ooh, fighter!

Super powerful Miku-Chan

うりゃ おい! うりゃ おい! Ooh, cyber!

Miku, Miku, Miku, go!

I wake up to a call, put my frilly outfit on now

It's time I open up my eyes and start the day

I combat 'til the dawn, until every villain's gone, wah!

A clumsy trip and now I've fallen to my butt

With my magical phone and a silly little ringtone

I'll shout a magic word and set the world in place

Whatever it may cost, there's no reason to stop

For a world that I cherish and love

Monsters might be a scary foe to fight

But I'll take the stand

If I can stop your tears and wipe them dry

(I'll make you feel magical)

If my pain's a type of cure for peace, I don't mind

I can play as a nurse healing you everyday

So what if I might shed a tear, get some bruises?

A wipe is all I need to clean the cherry blush away, ha!

Fighting through the night, but I'm wide awake

It can all be so hard for me to get through the day

Your smile is enough to heal all my aches

Wrapped in a cute band-aid

I can take the pain, fight all day, fill up the syringe with love

Heal up the world and go again

うりゃ おい! うりゃ おい! Ooh, fighter!

Super powerful Miku-Chan

うりゃ おい! うりゃ おい! Ooh, cyber!

Miku, Miku, Miku, go!

And now, it's time for the moment you've been waiting for!

One, two, three

Ready?

Miku, Miku beam! (Keep going!)

On my own, without anyone to know

How my job's not all rainbows

But then, I think about your smile

(Your words are so lyrical)

I'm a magically bright invincible girl

If you need me to heal, go on and call out my name

When you find yourself going down a spiral

I'll bonk away what puts you down, a pink hammer melee, ya!

Fighting through the night, but I'm wide awake

All alone, it's so hard for me to get through the rain

Your smile is enough to make my day

So I stand tall and brave

'Cause I'm not afraid, any pain, I can laugh away, chin up

With love, I'll fight on 'til the end

Bearing through the pain, I try to be brave

As long as you can stay happy, I'm okay

I'm not gonna bend, ha!

I can be a cure for peace in your heart

And I'll play as a nurse healing you every day

Your smile is enough to heal all my aches

All in a cute band-aid

If you're feeling pain, call my name, I'll be by your side

'Til I see your smile beam bright again

うりゃ おい! うりゃ おい! Ooh, fighter!

Super powerful Miku-Chan

うりゃ おい! うりゃ おい! Ooh, cyber!

Miku, Miku, Miku, go!

ああ... 眠いよ

this was the first hatsune mikue song I saw on Google. 

bbarb with 3 bs finished her magical girl sequence as everyone waited patiently and she reappeared and she looked… exactly the same!!!!! nothing changed but thransfem georga washington, who gave her s ousl to bbarb with 3 bs obviously, liked hatsune miku like a lot becasue shes a lesbian and she was dating hatsune miku so she needed a vocaloid magical girl sequence obviously. deku deku you can call me deku green hair green eyes I really love kachaan!!!!!

"skuh skuh skubudih!!!!!!" the skibidi toilets said fearfully as they staredat bbarb with 3 bs as she did nothing. she just has so much aura she has infinite aura. bbarb with 3 bs stood menacingly as she stared at the skibidi toilets and aurafarmed. she aurally raised her sword and lunged at the to killthem skibidily… but as she lunged… she saw in their skibidI faces… it was… the face… in the teachers faces… and she got a really good look at it… and she knew immediately… exactly ehere she knew the face from…

she immediately sliced the face off and also all the faces of all the SKIBIDIS… but… they just ket coming… theyres too many zombie skibdi toilets… theres only ONE WAY to solve this dilema… they must do… a RAP BATTLE… (Nooo)

first up on the mic… is… SKIBIDI TOILEEEETT!!!!!!!

hey skibdi I'm toilet. 

i turned zombie because of ur mom dad!!!

 they killed me with their magical boy girl super powers.

thats wy i hate you!!!!!!

"spitting bars bro aabsolute bars" said all the other skibidi toilets

Bbarb with 3 bs:

KILL YOURSELF SKIBDII 

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE

IM GONNA KILL YOU

IM GONNA PUT A GUN. IN YOUR TOILET.

YOURE SO EVIL EVIL TOILET.

I HOPE CAMERA GETS YOU.

skibidi toilet:

hey hey man that's not cocool I'm literally just a toilet!!!!!

im a zombie toitlet!!!!!

dont kill me i want to live!!!!!


Bbarb with 3 bs:

KILL OURSELF

DID YOU JUST MISGENDER ME FUCK YOU FUCK YUOU FCUKF YOU

the other skibidis:

oh bro you cant say that thats not cool

you cant just misgender someone have a little respect dam

bbarb with 3 bs:

HAHAHA BITCH YOURE LOSING USPPORT.

YOURE SO TRANSPHOBIC. 

GET OUT OF HERE SKIBIDI 

NO DAM RESPECT…

skibidi toilet:

calm down bbarb were youre friends

bbarb with 3 bs:

shut u skibidi im ognna kill you

Skibidi toilet:

hey can we just tlk this out 

Bbrb with 3 bs:

not this time skibidi

skibidi toilet:

hey woman can we make amends

bbarbshe with 3 bs:

no... 

skibidi toilets the other ones:

oh yea she won that skidibi rap battle i cant support a transphobe so I guess she won even though that meand we all die now. 

and then… after winning the best rap battleoff all times… bbarb with 3 bs turned to the skibidi toilets… and shot them all down with her super sigma hyper laser… she used all of her awesome transfem geroga washington godly powers to banish the skibidis back to where they belong… the shadow realm… the dark world… the negative 11th circleo of hell… its special just for them… because theyre so evil… 

and then everyone clapped!!!!! the end!!!!!!!! but not the end… because its T!!!!!!!!! V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 TIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! toby fox don't copyright me I love your games deltarune is the best game I've ever played I really cant psyche myself up enough to doweird route though because I love all the charaters so i think that's a testament to how good your game is.

its not actually tv time… its time for another perspective…

MEAN. with someone!!!!!!!

dude were like 14 thousand words into this chapter and were not even halfway done. wait i kinda wann do a sir isxac newton section. we still have to do thunderfang, pile of papers kun, sir isxac newton, tide dertegtnet and chicken noodle soup chan, billy the cell and red 40, and maybe a flashback. and also john. the period is inckuded in the names little arc that he has going on. and also the magnus archives section.  This chapter's gonna be 30k words. bro its gonna be so crazy because so muc of it was filler. what were you gonna write righ beforei did another rap battle. Oh nothing I just thought it would've been funny if you were cut off right before you said what the threat was oh ok that wouldve been funny dont worry i did something silly instead just now 

Mean… with thu thu THUNDERFAAAAAAAGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thunderfang ran pogly away from their siblings because theyre s s so UNPOGGERS!!!!!!! th theyre NTO thunderfangs little pogchamps!!!!!!!! they ran to their next class which is still in period 4 becasue its been like maybe 10 minutes into this class period so they just gotta skedaddle over to their 4th period class and be poggers enough that the teacher wont suspect a thing… mwaahahahaha… i like to make thunderfang and pile of papers kun plot just a little bit becasue they reproduced themselves asexually from y/n so they are exact matches of eachothers DNA actually so i hink they should get to plot just a little bt not as much as y/n becasue thats your thing but theyre a little ocniving >:) 

thunderfng found their AP computer programming class and slipped inside becasue apparently theyre taking that somehow. dont know how they managed it because theyre lowkey a fucking dumbass. "i i wove python!!!!" "thunderfang exclaimed as  they entered the classroom and everyone lookedat them and hissed like tech bros do." said cecil gerschwin palmer. thunderfang took their seat and as the teacher head spun 360 degrees to stare them in the eyes… they distracted the teacher from their tardiness by plottingly using a litterbox in the corner as people do. 

"WHAT THE FUCK. STOP THAT STOP DOING THAT WHAT THE HELL." the teacher creamed because thunderfang was pissing in the corner… its all going to plan obviously. thunderfnag then leaped back int their chair and the other students looked at them in horror. they made a greta first impression. the teacher spritzed them with water and thunderfang fell down onto the floor in evilness… thunerfang hissed at the mist bottle and leaped onto the ceiling like cats do and the everyoen decided to forget any of that ever happened obvuoiusoly i would too if someone pissed in the corner of my classroom in a litterbox. thats some tylenol behaivour. 

"h hi m mister deskmate!!!!!!i im thuderfang whats oyur name!!!!!" thunderfang screamed in their classmates ear very loudly because they dont have volume control i guess. dude i have to apply to that one college that erin from band goes to its just way too funny not to. 

"Erm well ackshully… im just a nice guy… all the women tese days only want a bad b oy… NO ONE WANTS THE NICE GUY ANYMORE!!!!!!!" says the classmate without being promtped. 

"i did not aks!!!!!!" thundaerfnag said joyously. they regret sitting next to this guy. whic is unusual becasue most people regret sitting next to thunderfang. 

"ive been doing all my looksmaxxing but these FEMOIDS just dont want me!!!! its because im sucha nice guy… women these days… they only want the bad boy… no one likes the nice guy anymore…" maybe theres something wrong with you specifically

"sounds like a you problem U UwU!!!!!!! i i get all the pogchamps!!!!!" thunderfang says vene though they get NO BITCHES. "i i guess you just gotta be a s silly UwU femboy boytoy non binary boy girl miecraft youtuber wokie!!!!!!! th thats just what the women want!!!!! m m aybe your pronouns are just too basic m my little pogchamp.!!!!!!" thunderfang siad helpfully. 

"oh i hate yo disgusting woke fucks… you make me sick… (read all of this guys dialouge like the joker) IM the joker… i would never be a despicable WOKIE like you… AS an incel, women are JUST disgusting creatures… i should just fuck a homie… none of these women ever want me so obviously that means THEYRE the problem…" he says normally. this is true becasue im sexist. "heh well…" he pushes up his glasses and they flash in the light of his computer screen where he was looking up femboys in rainbow thigh highs and big titty anime waifus to goon to. "i guess ill tell you my name… Im… your everyday reddit usr… and i love andrew tate… my name is… RedditUser67… six seeeven…" syas reddit user sixty seven. he is everything we hate in the world!!!!!!!!!!

"o oh my god!!!!! y youre reddituser67?!?!!?!??!?!!?!!?? th thats s so pogchamp!!!!!!!! I goon to you!!!!!!" thats crazy "i i have a parasocial lationsip with you!!!!!!! i i never thought id get to m meet you in person!!!! y youre so p poggers!!!!!!! m my OC bloodmoon stardust the half demon angel is your boygirlfirend!!!!!! theyre kind of my slef insert!!!!!!" i love how im making them like pingpong back and forth between whos crazier. thunderfang siad with hearts and stars in their eyes. they immediately grabbed their senpais shirt ocllar like an anime waifu. 

"heh… i guess youre just… one of my awesome fans… heh… well… let me tell you about my most recent romantic exploits… i had been sleepmaxxing all day… and bonesmashing… and looksmaxxing… and ten… i hopped on my big titty anime girl roblox tycoon… and there i saw… her… and i new… thats gonna be MY FEMOID someday… and i just had to persue her…" he said. hes a pedophile!!!!!! "BUT… when i started to DM her… she said… shes ONLY 12?!?!!?!??!?!! I THOUGHT SHE WAS 7… SHE LIED TO ME…" said incel (involuntary cellibate for anyone who doesnt know.) reddituser67 was distraught because his roblox girlfriend was older than he thought she was becasue hes a fucking creep!!!!!!! guys just so you know we DONT support pedophilia!!!!!! i dont know if that was clear becasue we have to state everything so theres no room for interpretation!!!!!!! kmedia literacy is dead!!!!!! guys… just because something is incuded in the story youre reading… d=does NOT mean that the author supports that certain ting… look at how its framed… i know this is a hard concept to understand guys…but hear me out… they might beportraying it… NEGATIVELY… oh my god… i know its so insane to think about… wait actually my bad i forgot that if someoe talks about a controversial topic that atomatically means they support it. guys i DO support incels and pedophilia!!!!!!! thts crazy. im posting this on the internet. i really hope no one can trace my IP. my digital footprint will destroy my life. dont worry guys i use a VPN!!!!!!! so im safe from any and all anything from anywhere1!!!!!! this message was sponsoered by big VPN. 

"oh my god… she was 7????? i i never knew… you liked them a little younger… i i guess… i im just too old for you…. WAAAA WAAA WAAAA BOOOO HOOOOO HOOOOO…" thunderfang cried sobbingly. because theyere too old for their internet senpai… truly a terrible day.

"yea… youre just way too old… i mean… 14????????? dam. practicaly an ADULT. despicale…" says pedophile #2. crazy that we wrote 2 pedophiles in 1 chapter. and by we i mean the different voice. i didnt do this giys this was all her!!!!!!!(SLANDER, LIBEL, LIES, DEFIMATION) "well anyways… i was perusing the subreddits… and i spied.,.. with my little eye… soemthing red… it was the reddit logo… all the women these days on r/womensempowerment… (i dit even know if that actually exists)… i ae to go on r/pedophiles instead… but when i do… the police show up at my door and arrest me!!!!!!!!!!! i cant beliedve this… i dont know why this would happen… it must be TJOSE DAM FEMALES fault… maybe i should date little boys instead…." he plotted. at this everyone turned to stare at him because tey have been listening the entire time and boviously found nothing out of the ordinary. but then… they all pulled out their rifles (dihs) and shot him in the face and killed him (with kindness). and then hee feell to the floor and lied there in his own blood (not blood and not his) thunderfang fell to the floor and sobbed violently.

"NOOOOOOO PLEASE SENPAIIIIIIIII COME BACK SENPAI!!!!!!!!!!! I I CANT DO IT WITHOUT YOU SENPAI PLEASEEE I I LOVE YOU SENAPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" thunderfang cried groomedly… "th this is NOT pogchamp!!!!! M my little pogchamp i is…  dead!!!! a and… i i dont even have a r revive book!!!!!!!!!! BOO HOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" and then as the bell rang for 5ht period thunerfang did a backflip away into the sky and naruto ran out into the hallway to theur next class, getting over tjeir greif in mere milliseconds. 

thunderfna checked their schedule and ran poggersly t their next class which was… lunch!?!!?!??!?!!?!?!? i htought i ddidnt give anyof them lunch becasue they dont deserve it and also becaue it wouldnt fit on their schedules. thunderfang backflipped down to the first floor of th school and cut in line in the lunch line. but…

"GET BACK HEREEEEEE RIGHT NOOOOOOW." said bitch reasonably king pin i think was his anme "ARE YOU WEARING HEADPHONES!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!!!?!??!?!!?!??!!?!?!?!??" he screamed in thunderfangs face wih spit flying everywhere and be everywherei mean in thunderfang face. 

"N no!!!! I I Would never s sir!!! UwU!!!!!!!! th thats not the pgochamp way!!!!!!!!" thunderfang said doing the classic anime thing where its like the erm sckshully!!!!!! and also anime jiggle physics on your while body or whatever. how do you even describe that 2020 ahh way of moving. all the 2020 fnafkids will know… and also anyone else who watched cosplays in 2020. 

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRR RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH ARF ARF WOOF BARK GRRRRRRRRR GROWL GROWL GRGRGR HRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said king pin. what the actual fuck. 

"I IM S SO SOWWY A ALPHA I IM MEWING!!!!!!! GT ON TH THAT MEWING STREAK!!!!!!!!!!" thuderfang sceamed as they cowered in fear? and backlfipped to increase their aura but it didnt work because there wearing a tial right now even though they alreayd have one because theyre transspecis WtC (wofl to cat)(Wolves have  tails though?!?!?). i know i was siurprised too… no one could have eve thoght that… (no I meant the way I read it it was that Thunderfang didn't have a tail as a wolf) what oh no they dont. wolvesliterally dont have tails bro youre literally crazy. 

king pin was so disgusted by this act that he immediately combusted into a million littele peieces and drifted away in the wind. because thats somehting people do. 

"i mewing" siad thundefang mewingly mewing in a mewing way that makes you think theyMIGTH be mewing but youre not sure so you start mewing as well to determine if thwyre truly mewing or not and you mew so mewing hard that your mew literally mews as well and youre all mewing mewingly together and you mew real hard and get a mewful mewing jawling that also mews all day all night and everything you see is mew likethem inside and out in the mew corvette and the mew little windows and everything is mew for them and themself and everyboyd isaround cuz they aint got no doy to mew to to mew to to mew to to mew to. 

"i hope you kill yourself." says someelese one someone else in line kindly(Lesbianlover96). this is a good thing to say. 

and then tunderfang went inti the place where the things are and got a thing while the still mewed mewingly mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew mew. and then they left the lunch area wher you get your lunch that you will be eating (me when i have to fill out the rod count for an essay) ad teysat down and ate their food and stuff. i really dont have aything to say about lunch its literally lunch what else you gonna do there????? i write the document. but i assume most people arent doin that. and then the bell rang and thnderfang sipped joyusly whiel still mewing out of th lunch room to head to their next class and every thinger went smoothly… except…they remembered… the face flashed behind everyones faces all the time the whole time… and they never noticed becasie i forgot about that plot point… DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mean… with pile of papers kun…

pile of papers kun walked normally out of the lunch room and then ran nromally to its next callss becasue it has to be there first or else like it dies or something. oh my god wait its next class is with literally the best teacher every i loved this guy when i had him last year. did i ever tell you about him he was litreally the best. like he was sucha good teacher it actualyl feels rude to write him into this story. the different voice coem back and complain about your shittyenglish teacher last yeari cant put mine in becasue he was too awesome. oh well i have her this year and she stil lsucks just as bad. oooooo i gave her to y/n though… hmmmmmmm… what a dillemma… ok whatever pile of papers kun gets my favorit teacher ever. i have nothing to compain about hikm so i just gotta make the rest of the class fucking insane i guess. 

pile of papers kun skedaddleed up to its english teahcers classroom and entered into the doorwy and saw… "well guys… i gusess were not having class today!!!!!!" said teacher becasue there was a freaking demogorgon in the class and then they all got flipped turned upside down. so so hang on just a minute just sit irht there ill tell you how i became the pricne princess of a town called the udspide down. i was odseddsedd with this show in like 2021 so obviously it has to be included. and by i i mean my littel brother who is a bithch. 

"is that the freaking demogorogn!?!!?!??!?!!?!?" the class screamed as they all scatteredd in hte underground welcmoem to the underground how was the fall if you wanna look around give us a call  we dont see humans often were happy you just walked in ill be so popular when i show all the monsters what i just brought in i dare you to try a bite of spaghetti sounds lik the creepy pastas ready!!!!!!!!!!! and as they all ran away every single other student was immediately eaten by the demogorogn obviously except pile of papers kun becasue it has plot armour. and as it was running… it fell… into… DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN… TE UDNERGROUND?!!!?!?!?!!?!??!

"welcome to thr uins welcome to the ruin welcome to the ruins runs ruins ruins" says toriel who is the goat that pile of papers kun sees when it looked up. "hello my chidl im toriel— IS THAT THE FREAKING DMEOGORGOMN>!?!!?!??!?!!?!?" and the demogorgon ate her alive.just kidding but also not just kidding… DUN DUN DUUUUUN… pile of papers kun is now evil and released the domeogorn in the underground and now everyone will die. i dont know wat im doing right now. and then the demogorgon is killed with a massive fire attack from the shadows and… toriel 2.0 steps in and sweeps up the dust from toriel 1.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

"hello my child im toriel and im literally your mom now come hither my choild…" she says ominously and pile of papers kun is very confused. so much happened in 4 paragraph. guys do i start a new arc right now or do i send pile of papers kun back up and cintune this another time?Another time we haven't even started the alabama arc yet

 ad then… as toriel guieded pile of papers kun out of the ruins… this is exactly what happened in the aniversary stream by the way trust me guys i titally watched it (im lying i didnt watch it)… SANS THE SKELETON APPEARED FROM THE DARKNESS?!?!!?!??!?!!!?!??

 what arcs do we even have going on right now. its zombie arc, alabama arc, high school arc, the hidden face arc i cant say its name yet ecause it hasnt been revealed, clanker arc, y/n doing some weird shit arc, jef with 1 f running away from his evil adoptive parents arc, flashbacks arc, billy the cell and red 40 are doing something i think, john. the oeriod is included in the names thing, the magnus archives arc, and whatever this was now. thats like 12 bro thats crazy. 12 consecutive arcs at once. we actually cannot start this right now. too dman many. 

also by the way theyre all made of yarn becasue i made an undertale au like several years ago and its too cringe not to incude. but then… just as sand undertail summoned his army of sand undeertales… pile of papers kun teleported back to the surface world and sat dwo n in class like nothing even happened because i guess this is just nromak now. also everyone is still dead except my favoitre teqcher ever. :smile: :smile: :happy: :happy: :Heart: :heart: 

Bro I'm in math rn there's a sub are only thing we have to do is a work sheet and he's still talking like JUST HAND OUT THE WORKSHEET BRO

HE'S STILL TALKING

OK HE HANDED OUT THE WORKSHEET 

 I FINISHED IT IN LIKE 5 MINUTES IT WAS EASY

BRO DID NOT NEED TO GIVE US ALL THAT PREAMBLE

HE WASN't EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE WORK SHEET HE ALL LIKE "I'M NOT A MATH TEACHER I'M A RETIRED ENGINEER. DOES ANYONE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CALCULAS AND ALEGBRA BLAH BLAH BLAH" aND THEN HE TALKED SOME MORE BUT I STOPPED PAYING ATTENTION. 

ALSO WHEN I FIRST GOT IN THE CLASS THE DUDE IN FRONT OF ME TOLD ME THAT SOME GIRL IN HIS ENGLISH CLASS GOONED TO THIS SUB. I AM STILL HORRIFIED.

HE'S NOT LIKE "ATTRACtIVE" EITHER BRO IS LIKE LATE 50S MAYBE 

BRO WHAT THE HELL????????? THATS ACTUALLY INSANE. HOW DO YOU SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AND DO THAT??????? PLEEEEEASE SAY SHE JUST TOOK A PICTURE OF HIM OR SOMETHING no that's so crazy I'm putting that in somewhere. what the hell bro 

Pile of papers kun took its set in the class and wanted forthe best teacher ever to start the lesson. it waited like this it was sitting there with big eeyelashy eyes and its fingers crossed with a large smile n itsface blink blink :smile: :smile: :smile: 

"hello class!!! oh ok everyone's absent (dead) get the replacement class." says my favorite ever teacher. guys not all teachers are terrible!!!!! Notall teachrs!!!!!! guys!!!!!!!!! genuinely writing this shit makes my typing faster and I don't know ifthat's a good thing or not. 

the replacement class appeared and said "hi i mt he replacement class" because they all speak in unison because they are the student counsil. this is how the city counsil is as well so the student coussil is the same says cecil gerschwin palmer. holy shit this teacher be yappin. she actually never teaches bro. its sos annoying. she just gives us assignments and does nothing to actually teach us. and yesterday she gave us a 30 or 40 page long packet for a quiz and was like yea you'll get this done in a period and she had to turn it into a 2 day quiz. she actually one of the worst teachers ive ever had. like shes sucha nice person too but shes such a dogshit teacher.

and then Mr. hierarchy jumped out the window and ran off into thewilderness to play with woves because i dont wanna write a nice teacher because this section is for comlpaining about the shitty ones. andthen as mr. hierarchy sped off into the distance the sub came in to replace him becasue this school is actually just one large hivemind actually and theyknow everything that happens all the time. in the face of the new sub, another face flashed flashingly beneath it and pile of papers kun saw… a face…

"what's up my homies I'm the teacher. I gotta pass out this paper." the substitute rapped rappingly.and as he rapped the worst rap to ever rap, a student in the front rowimmediately began to viciously goon gooningly. he's fucking chopped too. "but like what IS a paper… I think thats an important topic for discusssion… what makes paper.. paper??? is it the tree that makes it? what if the paper is made of like fucking rocks and shit… if it is paper in parname but not in parts… is it still the same paper…?" the teacher philosophied. 

"holy shit bro just hand out the fucking worksheet dawg." the gooner screamed because e wanted to see the teacher up close and personal or something.  pile of papers kun looked at them disgustedd ly and resgined to its fate to never have a teace that would actually teach fucking anything. wait did I put pile of papers kun in kimy gillys class????? that was a freshman English class pile of apers kun is a sophomore. dam I guess bro gets 2 English classes. oh wait no that was thunderfang my bad gang. I'm just crazy :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: oh go d this chapter is 17 tousand  wrods right now. 

"but… what does a worksheet do… is it but naught solely haev the puropose to be in the way tat you cannot you learn? why do thine worksheet in such a short life? Go live mind childs!!!! GO LIVE!!!!!!!" said the substiitue and everyone immediately leaped from their chairs to go get out of school or whatever except teachers pet pile of papers kun and the gooner who was still gooning. 

"erm ackshully you forgot to check the homework sir!!!!!" pile of paprs kun said with its nerd glasses on. the gooner imemdiately began beating pile of papers kun instead of his meat becasue it pisssed him off so bad. opnly correct reaction. 

"but what is homework anyways? i believe homewrok surely is a social construct… because for what and for why is the purpose to do the thuungs that happen??? for you learn??? you for remember the material??? you will forget in but 2 days…" says the subsitute.

"sir i think you should go back to school you cant form a fucking scentence." pile of papers kun said alcoholicly. 

"how bout you kill oyurself ho about thet. how bout you learn to fucking spell bitc hcant even spell sentence right. DAM." teacher said as he pulled out his glock and shot the big beuatiful boill in its big beautiful head that it has totally. and then the gooner got all gooned out and kjilled himself becaus e what point to live but to goon and f you cat goon just kill yourself lik  "but what IS gooning really?" says substitue as pile of papers kun horiffiedly looks at the mangled corpse as the mangle appears from the shadows. "for what purpose is to gooon?" he continued as he also began to goon. "for to be a gooner is to be a goon and to goon is to be a goonerr to goon is to live and lfe is for goon.//" he said intelligently. brings tear to the ee truly… 

and then pile of papers kun decided to just leave class because like its not doing SHIT in here. "ill kill yself PLEASE someone just fucking teach me SOMETHIGN." and then… as it said those words… out from the shadows… appeared s worthy teacher… its…

the purple guy?!?!!?!??!?!!!?!?!
"excuse me its purple they now. fuck you." said purple they as they looked into the cmaera breaking the 4th walledly. 

"oh my bad sorry gangalang." says the voice. guys its me!!!!!! im back!!!!!!!!! i avent inserted my the voice speaking powrs in a hot mintue as the kids say. pile of papers kun looked around lookingly because it cant hear the voice but also it can but also it cnat but also it can just by the way. 

"hello pile of apers kun…." says purple they suspiciously "im not suspicious" they they themed and woked "I!!!!!! will teach you… The wyas… of the gacha life muder!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the gacha life get controlled by a glithc trap but not do that in the canon!!!!!! and also murder!!!!!!" says purple they becasue they havet gone woke enough to stop killing people. thats just a little TOO woke. i hate those disgusting wokies how evil they are… 

"oh no im good." said pile of aperpsers kun becasue it is good. but also… no one else is teaching anythign… so….. maybe it would be a good idea… hmmmmmmmmmm…"ok fine"

"wow it really took othing to covince you huh." said purple they wpkedly. I HATE WOKE STOP BEING WOKE EW EW WOKE. but then… as purple they handed pile of papers kun the knife… out of the shadows…it was… THE MIMIC?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!? 

"MY NAME IS THE FUCKING MIMIC OH YEA MY NAME IS THE FUCKING MIMIC O H YEA BUH BU H BUH BUHBU HBBUH BUBH UBHBUHB BUDUDUDUDUDUDUDU MY NAME IS THE FUCKING MIMIC OH YEA MY NMAENI S THE FUCKING MIMIC OH YEA IM THE BOMB THEIF THE WAY I DISPERSE GRIWEF ILL PUT BOMBS IN YOUR BELONGINGS?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!" says the mimic as it mimics all over the place mimicley. and then it mimics its way into ripping pile of papers kuns new mentor to freaking mimicy shreds.

"oh no!!!!!!! this is so sad!!!!!! i care about this al ot!!!!!!!!" says pile of papers kun as purple they (willithem afton) died a gruesome det. and then the mimic turned towards pile of papers kun… but then… as it was about to skibidi the mimic kill pile of papers kun… it jumped jumpingly out of the way just like those gacha videos where the knife moves in slow motion and the person running from the knife jumps over it when they see their senpai fucking another man on thw side…BACKFLIP BACKFLIP BACKFLIP BACKFLIP!!!!!!!!!!!! and pile of papers kun lands like siderman on the other side of the mimic and the…. the mimic is mudered murderingly by… A CAR?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?! HOLY SHIT ITS JUST LIKE DAVID WHO LOST HIS BALL

"my name is david dad i want some icecream david that is my name david i want a nother david where is my baaaaaal im running out on the raod there is a baaaaaal and it is going to hit me AAAAAAAAAA" syas david as he runs his cars into the mimics and it kills the mimic and jakie is dead now. 

but wait

"y name is jackei nad im fucking backie cuz with my clown power i am gonna make you scream louder heha its a clown attack bitch the circus is comingto town so sit our ass down and get tready fora cLOOOOWN ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the mimic said as it got back up after david hit it with his monste truck and drove off into the distance… leaving pile of papers kun to deal with the mimic once again…

"oh no!" says pile of papers kun a sit ran away from the mimic scaredly. it is scared. scaringly…

"my name is ediwn… i made the mimic… it was diffucltut to put thepieces together… but unfortunately… soemthign went so wrong… and now i cnat do anything but sing this stuid song my name is ediwn edwin edwin edwin edwin edwin…" says edwi and he falls out in front of the rampaging mimic and blocks its path so pile of papers kun runs away and the mimic eats edins corpse… 

"i put bombs in your belongings!!!!" sas the mimc as pile of papers kun hides away tosafety… and the bell rungs… and piel of papers kun expkodes… 

Mean… with sir isxac newton…

i really wantec to write a section about him because uh he has no personality outside of being in a love corner as the kids say. 

i ceased my viciously making out and gooning with timm with 2 ms as the bell for 4th period rung and i was forced apart fro him in order to make my way to AP Gravity class. I have an A+++++++++++++++++++++ in this class because i invented it. in case you didnt know. actually i dont wanna write him in first person. 

sir isxac newton saunered over to the AP gravity class with his gravity falling behind him in the way that gravity does. gravit is now a pysical tangible object by the way. he entered the classroom and took his seat as the teacher began to say some bullshit about disporvng newtons laws of physics. this enraged sir issxac newton and he jumped at the teacer and disembowleedd her evilly. he stood up ith his mouth covered in her blood and began to give his own lecture on gravity because he feels significantly more qualififed. becasue he invented it. reasonably. guuuuys this is almost a 19 thousand word chapter!!!!!!!! and we still have to write 3 segments!!!!!!!!! honestly i might cut out tide detergent chan and chicken noodle soup chan section in this part and put it in the next chateer becasue its just too long bro. 

"i invented gravity." says sir isac newton to the class as he began the lecture. everyone immediately booed him and threw tomatoes ad shit and gutted themselves in retaliation because they all hate gravity becasue they cpme to gravity class to learn how to stop doing gravity and learn to fly. "aw. i wanted to talk about gravity…" :C si isxac newton is sad over this. 

"well ill talk abou it anyways. 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For other uses, see Gravity (disambiguation).

"Gravitation" and "Law of Gravity" redirect here. For other uses, see Gravitation (disambiguation) and Law of Gravity (disambiguation).

The shapes of two massive galaxies in this image evolved under the effects of gravity.

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Classical mechanics

F=dpdt {\displaystyle {\textbf {F}}={\frac {d\mathbf {p} }{dt}}}

In physics, gravity (from Latin gravitas 'weight'[1]), also known as gravitation or a gravitational interaction,[2] is a fundamental interaction, which may be described as the effect of a field that is generated by a gravitational source such as mass.

The gravitational attraction between clouds of primordial hydrogen and clumps of dark matter in the early universe caused the hydrogen gas to coalesce, eventually condensing and fusing to form stars. At larger scales this resulted in galaxies and clusters, so gravity is a primary driver for the large-scale structures in the universe. Gravity has an infinite range, although its effects become weaker as objects get farther away.

Gravity is described by the general theory of relativity, proposed by Albert Einstein in 1915, which describes gravity in terms of the curvature of spacetime, caused by the uneven distribution of mass. The most extreme example of this curvature of spacetime is a black hole, from which nothing—not even light—can escape once past the black hole's event horizon.[3] However, for most applications, gravity is sufficiently well approximated by Newton's law of universal gravitation, which describes gravity as an attractive force between any two bodies that is proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.

Scientists are looking for a theory that describes gravity in the framework of quantum mechanics (quantum gravity),[4] which would unify gravity and the other known fundamental interactions of physics in a single mathematical framework (a theory of everything).[5]

On the surface of a planetary body such as on Earth, this leads to gravitational acceleration of all objects towards the body, modified by the centrifugal effects arising from the rotation of the body.[6] In this context, gravity gives weight to physical objects and is essential to understanding the mechanisms that are responsible for surface water waves, lunar tides and substantially contributes to weather patterns. Gravitational weight also has many important biological functions, helping to guide the growth of plants through the process of gravitropism and influencing the circulation of fluids in multicellular organisms.

Characterization

Gravity is the word used to describe a physical law, a fundamental physical interaction that derives primarily from mass, and the observed consequences of that interaction on objects. Gravity is the law that every object with mass attracts every other object in the universe in proportion to each mass and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. The force of gravity, F is written using the gravitational constant, G, as[7]

F=Gmm′2 {\displaystyle F=G{\frac {mm'}{r^{2}}}}for two masses, m, and m′ separated by a distance r.

Gravity is considered to be one of four fundamental interactions. The electromagnetic force law is similar to the force law for gravity: both depend upon the square of the inverse distance between objects in typical interactions. The ratio of gravitational attraction of two electrons to their electrical repulsion is 1 to 4.17×1042.[7] As a result, gravity can generally be neglected at the level of subatomic particles.[8] Gravity becomes the most significant interaction between objects at the scale of astronomical bodies, and it determines the motion of satellites, planets, stars, galaxies, and even light. Gravity is also fundamental in another sense: the inertial mass that appears in Newton's second law is the same as the gravitational mass. This equivalence principle is a scientific hypothesis that has been tested experimentally to more than one part in a trillion.[9]

History

Main article: History of gravitational theory

Ancient world

The nature and mechanism of gravity were explored by a wide range of ancient scholars. In Greece, Aristotle believed that objects fell towards the Earth because the Earth was the center of the Universe and attracted all of the mass in the Universe towards it. He also thought that the speed of a falling object should increase with its weight, a conclusion that was later shown to be false.[10] While Aristotle's view was widely accepted throughout Ancient Greece, there were other thinkers such as Plutarch who correctly predicted that the attraction of gravity was not unique to the Earth.[11]

Although he did not understand gravity as a force, the ancient Greek philosopher Archimedes discovered the center of gravity of a triangle.[12] He postulated that if two equal weights did not have the same center of gravity, the center of gravity of the two weights together would be in the middle of the line that joins their centers of gravity.[13] Two centuries later, the Roman engineer and architect Vitruvius contended in his De architectura that gravity is not dependent on a substance's weight but rather on its "nature".[14] In the 6th century CE, the Byzantine Alexandrian scholar John Philoponus proposed the theory of impetus, which modifies Aristotle's theory that "continuation of motion depends on continued action of a force" by incorporating a causative force that diminishes over time.[15]

In 628 CE, the Indian mathematician and astronomer Brahmagupta proposed the idea that gravity is an attractive force that draws objects to the Earth and used the term gurutvākarṣaṇ to describe it.[16]: 105 [17][18]

In the ancient Middle East, gravity was a topic of fierce debate. The Persian intellectual Al-Biruni believed that the force of gravity was not unique to the Earth, and he correctly assumed that other heavenly bodies should exert a gravitational attraction as well.[19] In contrast, Al-Khazini held the same position as Aristotle that all matter in the Universe is attracted to the center of the Earth.[20]

The Leaning Tower of Pisa, where according to legend Galileo performed an experiment about the speed of falling objects

Scientific Revolution

Main article: Scientific Revolution

In the mid-16th century, various European scientists experimentally disproved the Aristotelian notion that heavier objects fall at a faster rate.[21] In particular, the Spanish Dominican priest Domingo de Soto wrote in 1551 that bodies in free fall uniformly accelerate.[21] De Soto may have been influenced by earlier experiments conducted by other Dominican priests in Italy, including those by Benedetto Varchi, Francesco Beato, Luca Ghini, and Giovan Bellaso which contradicted Aristotle's teachings on the fall of bodies.[21]

The mid-16th century Italian physicist Giambattista Benedetti published papers claiming that, due to specific gravity, objects made of the same material but with different masses would fall at the same speed.[22] With the 1586 Delft tower experiment, the Flemish physicist Simon Stevin observed that two cannonballs of differing sizes and weights fell at the same rate when dropped from a tower.[23]

In the late 16th century, Galileo Galilei's careful measurements of balls rolling down inclines allowed him to firmly establish that gravitational acceleration is the same for all objects.[24][25]: 334  Galileo postulated that air resistance is the reason that objects with a low density and high surface area fall more slowly in an atmosphere. In his 1638 work Two New Sciences, Galileo proved that the distance traveled by a falling object is proportional to the square of the time elapsed. His method was a form of graphical numerical integration since concepts of algebra and calculus were unknown at the time.[26]: 4  This was later confirmed by Italian scientists Jesuits Grimaldi and Riccioli between 1640 and 1650. They also calculated the magnitude of the Earth's gravity by measuring the oscillations of a pendulum.[27]

Galileo also broke with incorrect ideas of Aristotelian philosophy by regarding inertia as persistence of motion, not a tendency to come to rest. By considering that the laws of physics appear identical on a moving ship to those on land, Galileo developed the concepts of reference frame and the principle of relativity.[28]: 5  These concepts would become central to Newton's mechanics, only to be transformed in Einstein's theory of gravity, the general theory of relativity.[29]: 17 

In last quarter of the 16th century Tycho Brahe created accurate tools for astrometry, providing careful observations of the planets. His assistant and successor, Johannes Kepler analyzed these data into three empirical laws of planetary motion. These laws were central to the development of a theory of gravity a hundred years later.[30] In his 1609 book Astronomia nova Kepler described gravity as a mutual attraction, claiming that if the Earth and Moon were not held apart by some force they would come together. He recognized that mechanical forces cause action, creating a kind of celestial machine. On the other hand Kepler viewed the force of the Sun on the planets as magnetic and acting tangential to their orbits and he assumed with Aristotle that inertia meant objects tend to come to rest.[31][32]: 846 

In 1666, Giovanni Alfonso Borelli avoided the key problems that limited Kepler. By Borelli's time the concept of inertia had its modern meaning as the tendency of objects to remain in uniform motion and he viewed the Sun as just another heavenly body. Borelli developed the idea of mechanical equilibrium, a balance between inertia and gravity. Newton cited Borelli's influence on his theory.[32]: 848 

In 1657, Robert Hooke published his Micrographia, in which he hypothesized that the Moon must have its own gravity.[33]: 57  In a communication to the Royal Society in 1666 and his 1674 Gresham lecture, An Attempt to prove the Annual Motion of the Earth, Hooke took the important step of combining related hypothesis and then forming predictions based on the hypothesis.[34] He wrote:

I will explain a system of the world very different from any yet received. It is founded on the following positions. 1. That all the heavenly bodies have not only a gravitation of their parts to their own proper centre, but that they also mutually attract each other within their spheres of action. 2. That all bodies having a simple motion, will continue to move in a straight line, unless continually deflected from it by some extraneous force, causing them to describe a circle, an ellipse, or some other curve. 3. That this attraction is so much the greater as the bodies are nearer. As to the proportion in which those forces diminish by an increase of distance, I own I have not discovered it....[35][36]

Hooke was an important communicator who helped reformulate the scientific enterprise.[37] He was one of the first professional scientists and worked as the then-new Royal Society's curator of experiments for 40 years.[38] However his valuable insights remained hypotheses and some of these were incorrect.[39] He was unable develop a mathematical theory of gravity and work out the consequences.[32]: 853  For this he turned to Newton, writing him a letter in 1679, outlining a model of planetary motion in a void or vacuum due to attractive action at a distance. This letter likely turned Newton's thinking in a new direction leading to his revolutionary work on gravity.[37] When Newton reported his results in 1686, Hooke claimed the inverse square law portion was his "notion".

Newton's theory of gravitation

Main article: Newton's law of universal gravitation

English physicist and mathematician, Sir Isaac Newton (1642–1727)

Before 1684, scientists including Christopher Wren, Robert Hooke and Edmund Halley determined that Kepler's third law, relating to planetary orbital periods, would prove the inverse square law if the orbits were circles. However the orbits were known to be ellipses. At Halley's suggestion, Newton tackled the problem and was able to prove that ellipses also proved the inverse square relation from Kepler's observations.[29]: 13  In 1684, Isaac Newton sent a manuscript to Edmond Halley titled De motu corporum in gyrum ('On the motion of bodies in an orbit'), which provided a physical justification for Kepler's laws of planetary motion.[40] Halley was impressed by the manuscript and urged Newton to expand on it, and a few years later Newton published a groundbreaking book called Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica (Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy).

The revolutionary aspect of Newton's theory of gravity was the unification of Earth-bound observations of acceleration with celestial mechanics.[41]: 4  In his book, Newton described gravitation as a universal force, and claimed that it operated on objects "according to the quantity of solid matter which they contain and propagates on all sides to immense distances always at the inverse square of the distances".[42]: 546  This formulation had two important parts. First was equating inertial mass and gravitational mass. Newton's 2nd law defines force via 

F=ma {\displaystyle F=ma} for inertial mass, his law of gravitational force uses the same mass. Newton did experiments with pendulums to verify this concept as best he could.[29]: 11 

The second aspect of Newton's formulation was the inverse square of distance. This aspect was not new: the astronomer Ismaël Bullialdus proposed it around 1640. Seeking proof, Newton made quantitative analysis around 1665, considering the period and distance of the Moon's orbit and considering the timing of objects falling on Earth. Newton did not publish these results at the time because he could not prove that the Earth's gravity acts as if all its mass were concentrated at its center. That proof took him twenty years.[29]: 13 

Newton's Principia was well received by the scientific community, and his law of gravitation quickly spread across the European world.[43] More than a century later, in 1821, his theory of gravitation rose to even greater prominence when it was used to predict the existence of Neptune. In that year, the French astronomer Alexis Bouvard used this theory to create a table modeling the orbit of Uranus, which was shown to differ significantly from the planet's actual trajectory. In order to explain this discrepancy, many astronomers speculated that there might be a large object beyond the orbit of Uranus which was disrupting its orbit. In 1846, the astronomers John Couch Adams and Urbain Le Verrier independently used Newton's law to predict Neptune's location in the night sky, and the planet was discovered there within a day.[44][45]

Newton's formulation was later condensed into the inverse-square law:

F=Gm1m2r2, {\displaystyle F=G{\frac {m_{1}m_{2}}{r^{2}}},}where F is the force, m1 and m2 are the masses of the objects interacting, r is the distance between the centers of the masses and G is the gravitational constant 6.674×10−11 m3⋅kg−1⋅s−2.[46] While G is also called Newton's constant, Newton did not use this constant or formula, he only discussed proportionality. But this allowed him to come to an astounding conclusion we take for granted today: the gravity of the Earth on the Moon is the same as the gravity of the Earth on an apple:

{\displaystyle M_{\text{earth}}\propto a_{\text{apple}}R_{\text{radius of earth}}^{2}=a_{\text{moon}}R_{\text{lunar orbit}}^{2}}Using the values known at the time, Newton was able to verify this form of his law. The value of G was eventually measured by Henry Cavendish in 1797.[47]: 31 

Einstein's general relativity

Main article: History of general relativity

General relativity

Spacetime curvature schematic

Eventually, astronomers noticed an eccentricity in the orbit of the planet Mercury which could not be explained by Newton's theory: the perihelion of the orbit was increasing by about 42.98 arcseconds per century. The most obvious explanation for this discrepancy was an as-yet-undiscovered celestial body, such as a planet orbiting the Sun even closer than Mercury, but all efforts to find such a body turned out to be fruitless. In 1915, Albert Einstein developed a theory of general relativity which was able to accurately model Mercury's orbit.[48]

Einstein's theory brought two other ideas with independent histories into the physical theories of gravity: the principle of relativity and non-Euclidean geometry.

The principle of relativity, introduced by Galileo and used as a foundational principle by Newton, led to a long and fruitless search for a luminiferous aether after Maxwell's equations demonstrated that light propagated at a fixed speed independent of reference frame. In Newton's mechanics, velocities add: a cannon ball shot from a moving ship would travel with a trajectory which included the motion of the ship. Since light speed was fixed, it was assumed to travel in a fixed, absolute medium. Many experiments sought to reveal this medium but failed and in 1905 Einstein's special relativity theory showed the aether was not needed. Special relativity proposed that mechanics be reformulated to use the Lorentz transformation already applicable to light rather than the Galilean transformation adopted by Newton. Special relativity, as in special case, specifically did not cover gravity.[29]: 4 

While relativity was associated with mechanics and thus gravity, the idea of altering geometry only joined the story of gravity once mechanics required the Lorentz transformations. Geometry was an ancient science that gradually broke free of Euclidean limitations when Carl Gauss discovered in the 1800s that surfaces in any number of dimensions could be characterized by a metric, a distance measurement along the shortest path between two points that reduces to Euclidean distance at infinitesimal separation. Gauss' student Bernhard Riemann developed this into a complete geometry by 1854. These geometries are locally flat but have global curvature.[29]: 4 

In 1907, Einstein took his first step by using special relativity to create a new form of the equivalence principle. The equivalence of inertial mass and gravitational mass was a known empirical law. The m in Newton's first law, 

 In what he later described as "the happiest thought of my life" Einstein realized this meant that in free-fall, an accelerated coordinate system exists with no local gravitational field.[49] Every description of gravity in any other coordinate system must transform to give no field in the free-fall case, a powerful invariance constraint on all theories of gravity.[29]: 20 

Einstein's description of gravity was accepted by the majority of physicists for two reasons. First, by 1910 his special relativity was accepted in German physics and was spreading to other countries. Second, his theory explained experimental results like the perihelion of Mercury and the bending of light around the Sun better than Newton's theory.[50]

In 1919, the British astrophysicist Arthur Eddington was able to confirm the predicted deflection of light during that year's solar eclipse.[51][52] Eddington measured starlight deflections twice those predicted by Newtonian corpuscular theory, in accordance with the predictions of general relativity. Although Eddington's analysis was later disputed, this experiment made Einstein famous almost overnight and caused general relativity to become widely accepted in the scientific community.[53]

In 1959, American physicists Robert Pound and Glen Rebka performed an experiment in which they used gamma rays to confirm the prediction of gravitational time dilation. By sending the rays down a 74-foot tower and measuring their frequency at the bottom, the scientists confirmed that light is Doppler shifted as it moves towards a source of gravity. The observed shift also supports the idea that time runs more slowly in the presence of a gravitational field (many more wave crests pass in a given interval). If light moves outward from a strong source of gravity it will be observed with a redshift.[54] The time delay of light passing close to a massive object was first identified by Irwin I. Shapiro in 1964 in interplanetary spacecraft signals.[55]

In 1971, scientists discovered the first-ever black hole in the galaxy Cygnus. The black hole was detected because it was emitting bursts of x-rays as it consumed a smaller star, and it came to be known as Cygnus X-1.[56] This discovery confirmed yet another prediction of general relativity, because Einstein's equations implied that light could not escape from a sufficiently large and compact object.[57]

Frame dragging, the idea that a rotating massive object should twist spacetime around it, was confirmed by Gravity Probe B results in 2011.[58][59] In 2015, the LIGO observatory detected faint gravitational waves, the existence of which had been predicted by general relativity. Scientists believe that the waves emanated from a black hole merger that occurred 1.5 billion light-years away.[60]

On Earth

An initially-stationary object that is allowed to fall freely under gravity drops a distance that is proportional to the square of the elapsed time. This image spans half a second and was captured at 20 flashes per second.

Main article: Gravity of Earth

Every planetary body (including the Earth) is surrounded by its own gravitational field, which can be conceptualized with Newtonian physics as exerting an attractive force on all objects. Assuming a spherically symmetrical planet, the strength of this field at any given point above the surface is proportional to the planetary body's mass and inversely proportional to the square of the distance from the center of the body.

If an object with comparable mass to that of the Earth were to fall towards it, then the corresponding acceleration of the Earth would be observable.

The strength of the gravitational field is numerically equal to the acceleration of objects under its influence.[61] The rate of acceleration of falling objects near the Earth's surface varies very slightly depending on latitude, surface features such as mountains and ridges, and perhaps unusually high or low sub-surface densities.[62] For purposes of weights and measures, a standard gravity value is defined by the International Bureau of Weights and Measures, under the International System of Units (SI).

The force of gravity experienced by objects on Earth's surface is the vector sum of two forces:[6] (a) The gravitational attraction in accordance with Newton's universal law of gravitation, and (b) the centrifugal force, which results from the choice of an earthbound, rotating frame of reference. The force of gravity is weakest at the equator because of the centrifugal force caused by the Earth's rotation and because points on the equator are farthest from the center of the Earth. The force of gravity varies with latitude, and the resultant acceleration increases from about 9.780 m/s2 at the Equator to about 9.832 m/s2 at the poles.[63][64]

Gravity wave

Main article: Gravity wave

Waves on oceans, lakes, and other bodies of water occur when the gravitational equilibrium at the surface of the water is disturbed by for example wind.[65] Similar effects occur in the atmosphere where equilibrium is disturbed by thermal weather fronts or mountain ranges.[66]

Orbits

Main article: Orbit

Planets orbit the Sun in an ellipse as a consequence of the law of gravity. Similarly the Moon and artificial satellites orbit the Earth. Conceptually two objects in orbit are both falling off of the curve they would travel in if the force of gravity were not pulling them together. Since the force of gravity is universal, all planets attract each other with the most massive and closest pair have the most mutual affect. This means orbits are more complex than simple ellipses.[7]

Astrophysics

Stars and black holes

Main article: Star formation

During star formation, gravitational attraction in a cloud of hydrogen gas competes with thermal gas pressure. As the gas density increases, the temperature rises, then the gas radiates energy, allowing additional gravitational condensation. If the mass of gas in the region is low, the process continues until a brown dwarf or gas-giant planet is produced. If more mass is available, the additional gravitational energy allows the central region to reach pressures sufficient for nuclear fusion, forming a star. In a star, again the gravitational attraction competes, with thermal and radiation pressure in hydrostatic equilibrium until the star's atomic fuel runs out. The next phase depends upon the total mass of the star. Very low mass stars slowly cool as white dwarf stars with a small core balancing gravitational attraction with electron degeneracy pressure. Stars with masses similar to the Sun go through a red giant phase before becoming white dwarf stars. Higher mass stars have complex core structures that burn helium and high atomic number elements ultimately producing an iron core. As their fuel runs out, these stars become unstable producing a supernova. The result can be a neutron star where gravitational attraction balances neutron degeneracy pressure or, for even higher masses, a black hole where gravity operates alone with such intensity that even light cannot escape.[67]: 121 

Gravitational radiation

Main article: Gravitational wave

LIGO Hanford Observatory

The LIGO Hanford Observatory located in Washington (state), United States, where gravitational waves were first observed in September 2015

General relativity predicts that energy can be transported out of a system through gravitational radiation also known as gravitational waves. The first indirect evidence for gravitational radiation was through measurements of the Hulse–Taylor binary in 1973. This system consists of a pulsar and neutron star in orbit around one another. Its orbital period has decreased since its initial discovery due to a loss of energy, which is consistent for the amount of energy loss due to gravitational radiation. This research was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1993.[68]

The first direct evidence for gravitational radiation was measured on 14 September 2015 by the LIGO detectors. The gravitational waves emitted during the collision of two black holes 1.3 billion light years from Earth were measured.[69][70] This observation confirms the theoretical predictions of Einstein and others that such waves exist. It also opens the way for practical observation and understanding of the nature of gravity and events in the Universe including the Big Bang.[71] Neutron star and black hole formation also create detectable amounts of gravitational radiation.[72] This research was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics in 2017.[73]

Dark matter

Main article: Dark matter

At the cosmological scale, gravity is a dominant player. About 5/6 of the total mass in the universe consists of dark matter which interacts through gravity but not through electromagnetic interactions. The gravitation of clumps of dark matter known as dark matter halos attract hydrogen gas leading to stars and galaxies.[74]

Gravitational lensing

Main article: Gravitational lensing

Einstein's Cross, four images of the same distant quasar around a foreground galaxy due to gravitational lensing – a single quasar is actually hidden behind a massive foreground object (a galaxy in this case)

Gravity acts on light and matter equally, meaning that a sufficiently massive object could warp light around it and create a gravitational lens. This phenomenon was first confirmed by observation in 1979 using the 2.1 meter telescope at Kitt Peak National Observatory in Arizona, which saw two mirror images of the same quasar whose light had been bent around the galaxy YGKOW G1.[75][76] Many subsequent observations of gravitational lensing provide additional evidence for substantial amounts of dark matter around galaxies. Gravitational lenses do not focus like eyeglass lenses, but rather lead to annular shapes called Einstein rings.[47]: 370 

Speed of gravity

Main article: Speed of gravity

In October 2017, the LIGO and Virgo interferometer detectors received gravitational wave signals 2 seconds before gamma ray satellites and optical telescopes seeing signals from the same direction, from a source about 130 million light-years away. This confirmed that the speed of gravitational waves was the same as the speed of light.[77]

Anomalies and discrepancies

Not to be confused with Gravity anomaly.

There are some observations that are not adequately accounted for, which may point to the need for better theories of gravity or perhaps be explained in other ways.

Rotation curve of a typical spiral galaxy: predicted (A) and observed (B). The discrepancy between the curves is attributed to dark matter.

Galaxy rotation curves: Stars in galaxies follow a distribution of velocities where stars on the outskirts are moving faster than they should according to the observed distributions of luminous matter. Galaxies within galaxy clusters show a similar pattern. The pattern is considered strong evidence for dark matter, which would interact through gravitation but not electromagnetically; various modifications to Newtonian dynamics have also been proposed.[78]

Accelerated expansion: The expansion of the universe seems to be accelerating.[79] Dark energy has been proposed to explain this.[80]

Flyby anomaly: Various spacecraft have experienced greater acceleration than expected during gravity assist maneuvers.[81] The Pioneer anomaly has been shown to be explained by thermal recoil due to the distant sun radiation on one side of the space craft.[82][83]

Models

The physical models of gravity, like all physical models, are expressed mathematically. Physicists use several different models, depending on the problem to be solved or for the purpose of gaining physical intuition.[84]: 44 

Newtonian action-at-a-distance

Newton's inverse square law models gravity as a force F between two objects proportional to their mass, m:

This gravitational force causes the objects to accelerate towards each other unless balanced by other forces. The force is "nonlocal": it depends on the mass of an object at a distance.[84]: 44  Scientists from Newton onwards recognized that this action at a distance does not explain the root cause of the force, but nevertheless the model explains a vast number of physical effects including cannon ball trajectories, tidal motion and planetary orbits.[84]: 4  However, combining the concept of relativity with gravity is enormously complex using this Newtonian model.[84]: 48 

Gravitational field

Main article: Gravitational field

A second equivalent approach to model gravity uses fields.[84]: 44  In physics, a field represents a physical phenomenon using a mathematical entity associated with each point in a space. Different field theories use different entities and concepts of space. For classical field theories of gravity, the entities can be vectors associated with points in a 3-dimensional space. Each vector gives the force experienced by an insignificantly small test mass at that point in space. The force vector at each point can be computed as the direction of the highest rate of change in the gravitational potential, a single number at each point in space. The three-dimensional map of the potential or of the gravitational field provides a visual representation of the effect of the gravitational effect of all surrounding objects.[dubious – discuss] Field models are local: the field values on a sphere completely determine the effects of gravity with the sphere.[84]: 45 

Fields are also used in general relativity, but rather than vectors over Euclidean space, the entities are tensors over spacetime. The Einstein field equations relate the 10 independent values in the tensors to the distribution of mass and energy in space.[dubious – discuss]

Action principles

Main article: Action principles

A third completely different way to derive a model of gravity is based on action principles. This formulation represents the effects of gravity on a system in a mathematically abstract way. The state of the system, for example the position and velocity of every particle, is expressed as a single mathematical entity. Each state has an associated energy property called the Lagrangian; the physically allowed changes to the state of the system minimize the value of this property. The path of the state is not a path in physical space, but rather in a high-dimensional state space: each point along the path corresponds to a different position and or velocity collectively for all particles in the system. This formulation does not express the forces or fields of the individual particles.[84]: 46  Modern theories of physics rely on these action principles.[85]: 396  The Einstein field equation for gravitation can be derived from the Einstein–Hilbert action.[85]: 388 

General relativity

See also: Introduction to general relativity

In modern physics, general relativity is considered the most successful theory of gravitation.[86] Physicists continue to work to find solutions to the Einstein field equations that form the basis of general relativity and continue to test the theory, finding excellent agreement in all cases.[87][88][89]: p.9 

Constraints

Any theory of gravity must conform to the requirements of special relativity and experimental observations. Newton's theory of gravity assumes action at a distance and therefore cannot be reconciled with special relativity. The simplest generalization of Newton's approach would be a scalar field theory with the gravitational potential represented by a single number in a 4-dimensional spacetime. However, this type of theory fails to predict gravitational redshift or the deviation of light by matter and gives values for the precession of Mercury which are incorrect. A vector field theory predicts negative energy gravitational waves so it also fails. Furthermore, no theory without curvature in spacetime can be consistent with special relativity. The simplest theory consistent with special relativity and the well-studied observations is general relativity.[90]

General characteristics

Unlike Newton's formula with one parameter, G, force in general relativity is terms of 10 numbers formed in to a metric tensor.[29]: 70 In general relativity the effects of gravitation are described in different ways in different frames of reference. In a free-falling or co-moving coordinate system, an object travels in a straight line. In other coordinate systems, the object accelerates and thus is seen to move under a force. The path in spacetime (not 3D space) taken by a free-falling object is called a geodesic and the length of that path as measured by time in the objects frame is the shortest (or rarely the longest) one. Consequently the effect of gravity can be described as curving spacetime. In a weak stationary gravitational field, general relativity reduces to Newton's equations. The corrections introduced by general relativity on Earth are on the order of 1 part in a billion.[29]: 77 

Einstein field equations

Main article: Einstein field equations

The Einstein field equations are a system of 10 partial differential equations which describe how matter affects the curvature of spacetime. The system is may be expressed in the form

where Gμν is the Einstein tensor, gμν is the metric tensor, Tμν is the stress–energy tensor, Λ is the cosmological constant, 

{\displaystyle \kappa ={\frac {8\pi G}{c^{4}}}} is referred to as the Einstein gravitational constant.[92]

Solutions

Main article: Solutions of the Einstein field equations

The non-linear second-order Einstein field equations are extremely complex and have been solved in only a few special cases.[93] These cases however have been transformational in our understanding of the cosmos. Several solutions are the basis for understanding black holes and for our modern model of the evolution of the universe since the Big Bang.[41]: 227 

Tests of general relativity

Main article: Tests of general relativity

The 1919 total solar eclipse provided one of the first opportunities to test the predictions of general relativity.

Testing the predictions of general relativity has historically been difficult, because they are almost identical to the predictions of Newtonian gravity for small energies and masses.[94] A wide range of experiments provided support of general relativity.[89]: 1–9 [95][96][97][98] Today, Einstein's theory of relativity is used for all gravitational calculations where absolute precision is desired, although Newton's inverse-square law is accurate enough for virtually all ordinary calculations.[89]: 79 [99]

Gravity and quantum mechanics

Main articles: Graviton and Quantum gravity

Despite its success in predicting the effects of gravity at large scales, general relativity is ultimately incompatible with quantum mechanics. This is because general relativity describes gravity as a smooth, continuous distortion of spacetime, while quantum mechanics holds that all forces arise from the exchange of discrete particles known as quanta. This contradiction is especially vexing to physicists because the other three fundamental forces (strong force, weak force and electromagnetism) were reconciled with a quantum framework decades ago.[100] As a result, researchers have begun to search for a theory that could unite both gravity and quantum mechanics under a more general framework.[101]

One path is to describe gravity in the framework of quantum field theory (QFT), which has been successful to accurately describe the other fundamental interactions. The electromagnetic force arises from an exchange of virtual photons, where the QFT description of gravity is that there is an exchange of virtual gravitons.[102][103] This description reproduces general relativity in the classical limit. However, this approach fails at short distances of the order of the Planck length,[104] where a more complete theory of quantum gravity (or a new approach to quantum mechanics) is required.

Alternative theories

Main article: Alternatives to general relativity

General relativity has withstood many tests over a large range of mass and size scales.[105][106] When applied to interpret astronomical observations, cosmological models based on general relativity introduce two components to the universe,[107] dark matter[108] and dark energy,[109] the nature of which is currently an unsolved problem in physics. The many successful, high precision predictions of the standard model of cosmology has led astrophysicists to conclude it and thus general relativity will be the basis for future progress.[110][111] However, dark matter is not supported by the Standard Model of particle physics, physical models for dark energy do not match cosmological data, and some cosmological observations are inconsistent.[111] These issues have led to the study of alternative theories of gravity.[112]

See also

Anti-gravity – Idea of creating a place or object that is free from the force of gravity

Artificial gravity – Use of circular rotational force to mimic gravity

Equations for a falling body – Mathematical description of a body in free fall

Escape velocity – Concept in celestial mechanics

Atmospheric escape – Loss of planetary atmospheric gases to outer space

Gauss's law for gravity – Restatement of Newton's law of universal gravitation

Gravitational potential – Fundamental study of potential theory

Gravitational biology – Effect of gravity on living organisms

Newton's laws of motion – Laws in physics about force and motion

Standard gravitational parameter – Concept in celestial mechanics

Weightlessness – Zero apparent weight, microgravity" sir isxac newton said infor dumping on the class of diembowled people who are dead. probably the best group of people to infodump to honestly. no one can say they dont wanna listen if theyre dead i mean like. i cnat believe i just copy pasted an entire wikipedia article in here. guys this is from the wikipedia page on gravty direct pasted!!!!!!!!! just look up gravity and its the first result. 

well actually i have no real ideas for this section basically if you didnt wanna read allat bascially the idea is that sir isxac newton is autistic. 

Mean. with billy the call and red 40

the door bell rang as billy the cell and  red 40,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 were being a little indecent to eachtother and they were forced to not do that anymore smh my head :pensive: :side_eye: OH MY GOD THE WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE MADE THIS CHAPTER 25 THOUSAND WORDS BRO. i have to cut tide deretrgetn chan and chicken noodle soup chan from this chapter bro we still have to write billy the cell and john. the period is inclded in the names portions. honestly we might have to move john. the period is inckude in thename to next chapter as well this is just too long. and im letting the different voice write that part so i dont know when she wants to do that. (Ya I'll move that to the next chapter) oh wonderful this will get posted tonight probably then

they walked dow the stairs to the door and opened it… and when they opened the door… they asaw… the screendoor… and they opened that as well… but… when thy opened the scren door… thats when they saw… it… 

a third door… and when they opene that door… red 40,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and billy the cell gasped in shock and horror and awe!!!!!!! it was… standing before them… hidden behind a furth door… it was… when they opened it… they saw… hiding… it was… their long lost son jef with 1 f?!?!!?!??!?!!!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?! this was the original flesh car. he was originally drawn as part of a poster board on different types of energy (he was mechanical energy) and when we dug him out a year later we made bbarb with 3 bs and timm with 2 ms to be the oerfect nuclear fmaily. they were oiginally like jef with 1 f was the father, bbarb with 3 bs was the mother, and timm with 2 ms was their son but we boviously changed that in here. they all changed drastically between their first drafts and hw they are now. they all still flesh cars. bbabr with 3 bs was originally blonde and a caricature of a 190s housewife. with like a pink bow how the people would put in all the wolfs hair in the minecraft story mode animations and stuff. timm with 2 ms was bald and had buck teethand also he was 5. so clearly they changed a bit. 

"j j j jeff with 1 f?!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??" billy the cell and red 4000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 cried in unison becaus they never expected to see him again ad also they didnt remember his name so they decided that was probably what they called him becasue of his nam tag on his chest. he just got off his shift at staples or something i dunno . "w wenever thought we would see you again because we never wanted to see you again quite frankyly!!!!!" siad red 4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

"yea you were a mistake and i liked my other children better than you but really i only ever wanted red 40 and you were just a by product!!!!!!!!!." billy the cell said out of chaarcertly "but dont worry i do less favoritism now and i will treat you justr like all of my other childrn!!!! neglectfully!!!!!!!!" this is acccurate. why do you think they live with chicken noodle soup chan and tid deteregtn chan if red 40 and bily the cell technincally have custody. guys i made that shit up on ths spot i dont know what im talking baout.  

"ohthanks." jef wih 1 f said as he decided to info dump about political ideologies to his parent who didnt know he was still alive 2 minutes ago "so obviously im a progressive lgbt conservativationist transhumanist anarchist which obviously means that i love donald trump and ai!!!!!!!"

"im disowning you." says red 40 goodly in a nice and good way. 

"excuse me i wasnt doen. so i believe that we shoulkd all ascend from our mortal shells and embrace the robotic ai apocolypse!!!!!!! I think we should all bow down and submit to our artificial overlords and give our bodies and ou==souls over to them in exchange for a new immortal shell!!!!!!!!!"jef with 1 f contined as the door was slammed on his face. 

"ew he was weird as fuck." they said in unoson as jef with 1 f attempte to crawl back into the house like the reddit pest he is. they reopened the door to forced him to attend school just to get him the FUCK away from them bith. 

"ugh… im too smart for those politically challenged r slurs…" he says slus iguess. i really hate this guy actually hes insuffereable. "well… i GUESS i can attempt to educate them on how the world works… because theyre just too fuckingstupid to understand with a perspective as complicated and perfect as mine… i would have to explain it in the termsof s s s s simpletons… those brain dead simple minded individuals… pck mentality… none of them have ANY IDEA… how the world should be run…" jef with 1 f said as billy th cell and red 40 threw him out on the street for being too damn insuffereable and stupid and evil and bad. 

that was kinda all i wasnted to do here actually. the ned!!!!!!!!