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Ochako watched from a table in the corner as the happy couple displayed their mutual lack of dance skill, stepping on feet and bumping into others, but looking elated just to hold each other close. Shouto’s handsome face wore a soft, adoring smile that Ochako had never seen directed at anyone but his sister’s infant daughter and his new husband. Izuku beamed back with the kind of dazzling smile that was too bright to look at but impossible to look away from.
She was happy for them. It had been a long time since the sight of them together had churned her gut in envy, but there was a certain melancholy about watching someone else live out the dreams she had once crafted for herself. She was over Izuku, she was pretty sure of it, but with no other person within reach ever having captivated her in quite the same way, he was her only reference point for certain experiences and emotions. So, a few pieces of her hadn’t quite been able to move on yet.
A flute of generously poured champagne was lowered onto the table beside her empty glass and she turned to see Bakugou sinking into the chair to her right with a flute of his own.
“You know,” he said without preamble, “I really thought it’d be you.”
“Huh?” She tilted her head, not understanding.
In response, Bakugou nodded toward the dance floor with a tip of his glass that sent the bubbly dangerously close to the rim. When she followed his nod, she found herself once again looking at the newlyweds, who appeared to be attempting some kind of pretzel twist move with little success.
“Izuku was so taken with you for a while, thought for sure I’d end up at a party like this watching you discreetly floating him around to keep him from stepping on your toes.”
She laughed because she had had that same thought once upon a time.
“I made peace with handing him over to you,” he continued. “If I had to give him up to someone, you were the best choice.”
Ochako had never heard Bakugou express so much honest emotion before, at least not of his own free will. She looked at him then, really looked at him. Over the years she had grown accustomed to his expressions presenting in extremes. If it wasn’t a deep scowl, it was a wild grin or complete blankness. She had seen abject despair a few times, too, and hoped to never see it again. Now, though, the expression on his alcohol-reddened face was complex and subtle. There were hints of fondness, a sense of resignation, elements of suppressed rage, and a world-weariness that was so incongruous with his flawless, youthful skin. She eyed his champagne, wondering how many glasses it took to strip away his layers of emotional defenses like this.
“I always wondered, were you and Deku-kun…?”
“A good fuckin’ question. Still wonder that myself.” He took a swig a little too big for a fizzy drink and grimaced, halfheartedly pounding a loose fist to his chest. “We came close,” he concluded. “You?”
“Hmm,” she picked up her own drink. “Yeah, something like that. We came close, but, y’know, I think going to war as teenagers messed us all up, emotionally.”
She took a sip. It was different from her first glass, tangier.
“What happened between you and him, though?” she asked. “I used to feel kinda threatened by how devoted he is to you.”
“Mm, yeah. Didn’t think I deserved him back then, wanted to wait ‘til I did, but it took me too damn long. Still don’t deserve him, really, but I was dumb. Shoulda claimed the shitty nerd while I had the chance and atoned along the way or whatever.”
“To near misses.” Ochako raised her champagne and Bakugou brought his nearly empty glass up to meet it, clinking them together a little harder than intended.
“To near fuckin’ misses.”
Once Bakugou had finished off the dregs of his champagne, he folded his arms on the table and slumped over to rest his chin on them.
“Well,” Ochako said, “I’m happy he’s happy.”
“Sure, but I’d be happier if he was happy with me,” Bakugou grumbled.
“You still love him.” It wasn’t a question.
“Don’t you?”
“Not like that, not anymore.”
“How’d you stop?”
“I guess I just focused on being his friend, and over time I started believing it,” Ochako mused.
“Been doin’ that shit for years.”
“Maybe you have to want to stop.”
Bakugou huffed in concession and they fell into companionable silence for a minute.
“So, what’ve you been up to, Roundface?”
“Huh? Oh, not much,” she replied, surprised he had asked. “Work’s been pretty slow, actually. I’ve been thinking about applying to switch agencies. You?”
Bakugou turned his head, still pillowed on his folded arms, to look at her then, a small, pleased smirk spreading across his face.
“I’m in the process of starting my own agency,” he declared pridefully with a glint of childlike excitement in his eyes.
Maybe that was the look of someone about to fulfill a lifelong dream. She recalled Izuku mentioning a few times that when they’d play heroes as kids, it was always the Bakugou Hero Agency. Just how long had he waited for and worked toward this achievement?
“Oh my gosh, that’s huge!” She exclaimed, genuinely excited. “That’ll make you the first one from our graduating class to open an agency!”
“Fuck yeah, it will. Nothing’s set in stone yet, so don’t go blabbing or anything but, y’know, none of the heroes I’ve got tentatively on board so far are rescue types. If you’re looking to transfer…”
“I’d love to!” she exclaimed. “Gimme all the details! When’s your projected opening date? Where’s it gonna be? What are you gonna call it?”
“Earliest we can open is July. Buncha legal shit’s gotta go through first. I’ve got my eye on two locations right now, probably gonna have to make the choice this week, actually. One’s in Musutafu and the other’s in Chiba. And I think I wanna call it Ground Zero, like the heart of the explosion, y’know? ‘Cause it’ll be the heart of the Great Explosion Murder God: Dynamight’s operations.” He smiled subtly as he recited the ridiculous name he had chosen for himself as a teenager but stuck by adamantly ever since.
“Oh, that’s so cute,” she gushed, “but like, it also sounds cool!”
“Can’t take all the credit. That was actually one of Izuku’s hero name suggestions for me.”
“Oh, wow. He did that? Do you think he came up with names for all of us or was that Kacchan special treatment?”
Katsuki’s eyes narrowed at the nickname but let it slide.
”Prolly had more for me but I’d be shocked if he didn’t try making names for everyone before we picked them ourselves.”
“I wonder if he made any for me…” she pondered with a furrowed brow.
“Don’t make that face,” he nudged her arm with his empty glass. “You’ve got one of the best names in the biz, nothing that nerd could come up with would be better.”
“You really think so?”
“Mm, yeah. Cute and concise.”
It was so strange to hear such blatant, undisguised praise from him.
“Thank you!” She beamed. “Still, I’m curious…”
“Ask him yourself, then.” Katsuki looked pointedly over her shoulder.
Sure enough, Izuku was approaching their table, leading his husband by the wrist.
“Ochako! Kacchan!” He exclaimed, sounding a bit winded from dancing.
Shouto stepped up beside him and nodded to the table’s occupants.
“You both suck,” Katsuki said in place of a greeting, even going so far as to sit back up so that his arm was free to give the pair a big, fat thumbs-down. “Left feet all around.”
“Haha, well we had a good time at least.” Izuku grinned.
“Deku-kun, Katsuki was just saying you might’ve tried coming up with hero names for everyone before we chose them. I was wondering if you’d thought of any for me!”
Izuku blinked at her blankly for a moment before seeming to register that he’d been asked a question.
“Oh! Ahaha, um, yeah I did but I don’t remember any of them, they’re buried in a notebook somewhere…”
“Bullshit,” Katsuki declared, sitting back and crossing his arms.
“Kacchan! They’re embarrassing!”
“Fuckin’ good.”
“C’mon, Deku-kun, it was ages ago, it’s okay if they’re cringy.”
“Okay… Um, well there was Gravigirl and Moon Boots. I also tried to do kind of what you did, but I ended up with, uh…”
“Spit it out.” Katsuki demanded.
“Urarocket! It’s so bad, I’m sorry!” Izuku hid his reddening face in his hands.
Katsuki barked out a laugh and Ochako stifled a snicker to the best of her ability.
“Sorry, Deku-kun, I didn’t mean to laugh at it. It’s just cute.”
“Just wait ‘til you hear about Mighty All-Man.”
“Kacchan!”
“Did you think of any for me, Izu?” Shouto asked.
“Um, yeah… Let me think… Frostfire was one of them, Freezerb— no wait, Freezerburn was a Kacchan nickname suggestion…”
“A fuckin’ what now?” Katsuki raised an eyebrow.
“You come up with those too?” Ochako asked, curious.
“Um, well, if I think of something good, I’ll write it down, but Kacchan never would have used any names I suggested back then, so I never actually brought them up.”
Katsuki looked like this was news to him.
“Well you can bet your ass I’ll be using Freezerburn now,” he grinned crookedly at Shouto.
“Were there others?” Ochako asked.
“Um, yeah, let me think… Dry-zawa ‘cause Aizawa-sensei gets dry-eye… Toe Beans for you, Ochako, New Friend 2: Electric Boogaloo for Kaminari…”
“Those all fucking suck,” Katsuki informed him, looking moderately offended.
“Actually, Deku-kun, I meant were there other hero name ideas for Shouto?” Ochako cut in, a bit flustered by Toe Beans.
“There were definitely more. Let me— oh my god I think my mom’s picking a fight with Endeavor. Someone must have let her have wine…”
He was off in an instant, headed to where a red-faced Midoriya Inko was, indeed, yelling up at a disgruntled-looking Endeavor, empty wine glass in hand. A few people seemed to be trying to break up the fight, but most just looked on. One blonde woman who looked way too much like Katsuki to be a coincidence even had her phone out to record the fight. Izuku arrived at his mom’s side, urging her to calm down and eventually managing to walk her away from Endeavor. Shouto, still standing beside Ochako and Katsuki’s table, seemed a bit disappointed at the quick deescalation.
“I should probably…” he gestured toward where his father was still standing in the same spot, looking dumbfounded.
“Of course,” Ochako smiled, “it was nice to see you again, Shouto!”
“Later, Freezerburn.”
Shouto dismissed himself with a nod and took his leave.
Katsuki was still staring blankly at the door Izuku and his mother had left through, looking a little deflated now that their friends had left and he was no longer posturing.
“The bond you two have is really special.” Ochako gently placed a hand on Katsuki’s arm, pinky raised so as not to float him out of his seat. “And it runs really deep. I get why you’re having trouble letting go.”
“It’s fuckin’ stupid, y’know?” Katsuki lamented. “I can’t have him either way, so clinging to these dumb feelings just means I end up with the same result as I would if I let myself let them go, it’ll just hurt more. I fuckin’ know that, but… fuck. For a long time I thought that I just couldn’t… love, that way. When I realized how I felt about him, I latched on hard. I can’t bring myself to let go now ‘cause I’m not sure it’ll ever happen again if I do.”
Ochako squeezed his arm lightly in a way she hoped was comforting.
“I wish I could tell you that you’ll get over it soon and everything will be fine,” she said, “but there’s just no way to know. What I can tell you is that your bond with Deku-kun is strong enough to make it through whatever happens. I know for a fact it’s already been through way worse. You’ll always have each other, even if it’s not in the way you want him now.”
Katsuki exhaled shakily.
“What’s it like?” He asked. “Falling out of love.”
“It feels… hollow, I guess,” she said, doing her best to put emotions she had felt for years into words for the first time. “It’s like… It’s like I left pieces of myself behind with him and they’re trying to pull me back as I move forward. The gaps where those pieces used to be fill themselves in over time, and then that piece I left behind loses its pull, but not every gap’s been filled in yet, and I’m not sure if they ever all will be. They’re smaller now, and there’s fewer of them, but the bits I left behind that I haven’t filled back in yet still have a tether to me, and sometimes I still let their pull overwhelm me… not nearly as often as I used to, though. I don’t know if that’s how it’ll feel for you, but that’s the best way I can describe what it was like for me.”
“Sounds like hell.” Katsuki shook his head.
“It gets better, just don’t push him away. And, Katsuki, if you ever need to talk, I’ll listen… Um, you don’t mind me calling you Katsuki, do you?”
“Nah, it’s fine. Just don’t call me Kacchan.”
“Great!” She beamed at him. “Feel free to call me Ochako too, if you’d like. Though, I admit that ‘Roundface’ has grown on me, so that’s fine too.”
“I’ll consider it, Toe Beans.” A smirk finally made its way back onto Katsuki’s face.
“Nooooo! Anything but that!” She slapped his arm playfully in the spot where she had been resting her hand, pinky still raised.
“Heh, consider that payback for calling me Kacchan earlier.”
“I was just imitating Deku-kun, though!”
“Still counts!” Katsuki crossed his arms and pouted dramatically.
“Fine, fine. But if we’re done with the deep feelings talk, you gotta tell me more about this agency-to-be.”
A familiar confident grin settled back across Katsuki's face, though his cheeks remained flushed from the wine. As he fell into passionate rambling that was charmingly reminiscent of Izuku, Ochako let her gaze wander back across the room as she listened to his plans. Izuku and Shouto were dancing again, this time it looked like some variant of the macarena, but even that seemed a bit beyond the scope of the happy couple’s capabilities. She watched in amusement as Izuku elbowed Shouto in the face, but they both kept smiling through it all.
It occurred to her then that the underlying melancholy that came over her whenever she saw them together, which she had long since gotten used to ignoring, no longer felt like the ugly jealousy it once had been. Rather, her heart felt full at the sight of her friends happy and in love. While the dull ache persisted, it had become little more than an echo of what had once been despair, nestled in alongside the other faded pains she carried with her. Far stronger now was the sympathetic pain she felt on Katsuki's behalf. It reassured her, though, to hear him talk so excitedly about his future plans. There was no telling just how long it would take, but she had no doubt that he would eventually find the strength to allow himself to move on and heal. Until then, she would gladly be his support system whenever he needed one.
