Chapter Text
Somehow, the rain falling on their classroom windows was louder in the dark, Yugi noticed as he had his head down on his desk. The other kids excitedly shifted in their seats as seven students roamed the room to choose the next participants in their game of Heads-Up, Seven-Up. Yugi knew he wouldn’t be picked, but that was okay. He was playing his own version of the game. If someone came by his desk to choose another kid, he would try and figure out who it was. So far, he’d won two out of three rounds and this was the last.
Someone bumped his desk and Yugi quickly put a protective hand over his art project. During the morning announcements, the teacher told them they’d have extra art time after outdoor recess had been canceled. At the beginning of their first break, there were a lot of groans and pleading from Yugi's classmates to stomp in rain puddles outside. As the day progressed, everyone became more absorbed in their crafts and Yugi spent all his free time making his forest scene at his desk. He couldn’t wait to go home and show it to his dad, he had a story to tell with his characters and everything. He shifted in his seat, waiting for the final bell to excuse them. Ten minutes were going by slower than quicksand and he wished he had superpowers that could teleport him home in an instant.
The person who passed him laughed softly and he narrowed it down to one of the four girls who won the last round. She must have been a little clumsy to have run into his desk so that left only one possibility. As his teacher turned on the lights and told them to open their eyes, his guess was spot on. The girl he suspected pointedly faced away from his row. But, she kept sneaking glances over his way and smiled at her friend, who sat right behind him. The bell finally rang and students jumped up from their desks, dashing off to get their backpacks and jackets from their place on the wall. Yugi waited his turn to get his bag but was jostled forward by a few eager kids. When he returned to his desk, he covered his diorama with his jacket and walked out the door as quickly as he could without getting yelled at by a teacher.
Free from the school grounds, he ran most of the way home unbothered by the rain. As he reached his limit, he stopped to catch his breath under the interlocking branches of a few apple trees. They’d started to bloom last week and now the entire tree looked like a cloud. Yugi didn’t understand why, but the puffy bunches of flowers always boosted his mood and he was glad there were so many apple trees planted along his walk home from school. The wind shook a few white and pink blossoms into his hair and urged him on after he’d rested for long enough.
Getting the door of their game shop to open without both hands was a bit tricky, but he managed. Yugi's dad took his head out of his hand as the front door's bell chimed and waved at him from behind the counter. Not wanting to waste another second, Yugi made a beeline over to him.
“Look what I made! It took all day to dry!” Yugi cried, revealing his craft underneath.
Yami took a moment to appreciate the scene, then placed Yugi's bag behind the counter and softly pushed his back towards the stairs. “They look great, but you’re soaking wet. Run upstairs and change. You can come back down and tell me all about this when you’re ready.”
Yugi went to change as quickly as he could. When he returned, he picked up the clay dolls and tried again. “I made Little Hero and Poki! The principal said we couldn’t go outside for recess so we stayed in and built things out of clay. I wanted to make Pau too, but there wasn’t enough leftover. They’re going on an adventure!”
“Oh, where are they going?” Yami asked, getting to the question Yugi was waiting for.
“They’re going to the castle to save their friend from the evil lord!” Yugi said seriously, making the smaller, slower Poki hop after the star-shaped hero.
“That sounds very dangerous, do you think they can do it themselves?”
“No way! That’s why I need Pau so they can all rescue Red-Eyes together.” Yugi said enthusiastically.
“Hmm, that sounds like a fun adventure for after your homework,” Yami said while pulling out Yugi's schoolwork. “How much do you have tonight?”
Yugi's head flopped in tandem with his clay figures. Just like that, the wind was knocked out of his sails. Grumbling, he recalled everything that he had to do tonight.
“Too much. I have to color all of the oceans on our map, and do math, and write more words, and I have to read a whole book by myself. I picked one about a magician from the library, but it’s too long! I can’t finish it in one night!”
Yami wasn’t joining in his misery. If anything, his dad chuckled at his misfortune. “I guess you have your work cut out for you. How’s this, if you color in your map and read half of your book, then you can take a break and play upstairs.”
He took the deal. It was better than getting it done all at once. Coloring his map didn't take as long as he expected, Yugi noticed, but the book made up for it. The words were printed in such a small text that it was hard to read so Yugi slipped into daydreams instead. He flipped the pages and picked out the words he could read, counting the pages until he could stop. After what felt like another eternity, he made it halfway through his book.
Yugi passed his work to his keeper and sprang up the stairs with his art project. He was finally able to unite his Pau action figure with the clay ones that he made. Acting out one of his favorite TV shows, he had the three walk through the forest path he made. They tried to rescue their dragon friend but were defeated by the evil lord, Gaia the Fierce Knight. They were forced out of Gaia's lair and needed to find more friends before trying again. With the help of the magnet warriors and their powers to assemble as one strong warrior or three different warriors, Poki, Pau, and Little Hero defeated the knight. They saved Red-Eyes and celebrated through the night.
For some reason, the adventure had taken a lot more out of Yugi than expected and he laid his head against the side of his bed. His head was foggy and he felt ready for a nap, but then he saw Gaia lying on his side. He pushed through, deciding his knight was still injured from their fight and needed to see a doctor.
Yugi dug through his toy chest for the doctor's kit that his grandma had gotten him a year ago. Everything was there, the only thing he couldn't use was the lab coat. It was too small now, but he found a white shirt in his dad’s closet that looked similar. He was sure Yami wouldn't mind him borrowing it, Yugi needed it to be a doctor after all! The sleeves were way too long so he kept pushing them up as he checked Gaia’s heartbeat and gave him a pretend band-aid. With Gaia on the mend, he decided it was time for all his toys to get a check-up. After all, if Yugi had to get one earlier that week, they probably needed one too.
He lined his toys up to match the waiting room he had gone to earlier in the week. The real-life one left games and toys out, but Yugi had been too nervous to leave his dad’s side to play with them. Perhaps some of his patients were braver than he was, so he put a few pieces of a 3-D puzzle for them to play with while he took each one of them back into the “examination room.” As soon as Chimera and Gandora were done, he took Marshmallon back.
Yugi tried to diagnose the pink pillow, but couldn't think of a procedure they needed. Then, he remembered what his dad told him about X-rays when they passed the dark, scary room with a big machine. He guessed Marshmallon needed one and shoved them under the bed to get their picture taken. His dad called to him about dinner and he yelled back as he drew the X-ray, his pink plush didn’t have any bones so it was easy to draw. As he broke the news to his friend, Yami walked in, silently taking in the scene.
After Marshmallon was done, it was his dad’s turn. Yugi pulled him over to sit with him. Yami rolled Yugi's sleeves up for him, making it easier for Yugi to put his toy stethoscope in the right place, but he still couldn’t hear Yami's heart no matter where he put the toy.
“Hmm, that’s weird. You don’t have a heartbeat.” He crawled into the man’s lap and put his head against his chest.
“Oh no, that’s very serious,” Yami said, concerned and wrapping an arm around them.
“I can hear it now, ba-bum ba-bum, ” Yugi said, patting back the rhythm as his dad rocked them for a moment. How did he always know exactly what Yugi wanted? It was like magic. After the faint ache in his gut disappeared, Yugi got out the worst tool a doctor had, “You’re very healthy, but you need a shot before you can go.”
He tried to warn his patient, “It’s going to be scary and hurt and you might cry, but it’s okay. Doctors cry when they get shots too and you can hold my hand.” Yugi said while Yami nodded solemnly. He made it quick and put a band-aid on the spot where he’d put the syringe, “All done, you did very good.”
“Thank you, Dr. Yugi. Now, does this mean we need to go to the park again?” Yami took his arm back and ruffled Yugi's hair.
“Yes, doctor says!” He wanted to slide down the slides again and climb the big metal spider web all the way to the very top. He already had a new strategy he wanted to try. He wasn't going to peek at the ground, not even once, until he was taller than all the trees in the park.
“Well, we can’t go against the doctor’s orders, can we? Let’s go on Saturday so we can spend as much time there as you want.” It sounded perfect and Yugi wished that today was Friday so they could go sooner.
The rest of the night, he felt off. He didn’t ask to stay up for an extra ten minutes or beg for another story at bedtime, which wasn't like him. He decided to ignore it, though, he must have been extra tired for some reason.
In the morning when his dad came to wake him up, he couldn’t ignore the off feeling any longer. His muscles felt like pulled taffy, his brain wouldn’t turn on, and he wanted to sleep for 10 years. He didn’t respond to his dad’s calls the first time, hoping he’d give up, but once Yami sat on the bed with him, Yugi used most of his strength to turn over on his back.
Slightly out of breath, Yugi told him, “Daddy, I feel yucky.”
“You certainly don’t look very good,” Yami brushed Yugi's hair back and tried to gauge the kid’s temperature with the back of his hand.
Yugi barely registered his door creaking as Yami moved it out of the way. He couldn’t think and stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars spotting his ceiling. The bed dipped again and his dad placed a thermometer in his mouth, then the scenery changed from the ceiling to his wall.
“Sorry, honey, you’ve got a fever. This will make you feel better," he heard his dad say and Yugi glared at his arch-rival.
Yugi pushed away from him and the children’s Tylenol, frowning, “Tastes gross!”
“I know you don’t like it, but you need to drink it. It'll help make you hurt less.”
His refused again and Yami put the cup down. Yugi knew it was only a matter of time, though, he wouldn't give up. Maybe Yugi should just take the medicine. It was gross, but then he’d be able to sleep in peace. The flavor was so awful, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
“The more you think about it, the worse it will be. I got you some juice to get rid of the taste, so let's get it done quickly, alright?” Yami waited a little longer until Yugi accepted his fate.
The first drop that hit his tongue made Yugi rethink his decision, but soon he was done and his dad gave him a chaser while praising him. Yugi savored the juice, making sure the powdery, fake-cherry flavor was all gone, and then flopped back down on his pillow. All of a sudden, it felt like someone let in a freezing chill. He told his dad but fell asleep before he warmed up again.
The next time he woke up, he was feeling somewhat better. His limbs weren’t crying in pain and he could get out of bed and walk to the bathroom without falling over. On his way back to his room, he heard two people talking in the kitchen so he followed the sound and made out Joey's voice. Yugi could use a distraction and his uncle was a lot of fun. They could laugh the day away and Yugi could forget about being sick.
“...he’s been difficult every time. It’s like he is trying to get worse, but still wants me to fix it.” He heard Yami groan.
Joey laughed and said, “That sounds like a little kid to me, they’ve got no sense of self-preservation. You’ve got this. He’s still alive after all these years, isn’t he?”
Wait, were they talking about him?
Yami snipped, “Come talk to me after you’ve fought with an irrational child all day, then tell me you aren’t exhausted.”
They were. Did his dad really think he was difficult? He remembered Tristan telling him he shouldn’t do that, that he needed to be good and listen to them. Yugi tried his best. Was it not enough? A million different thoughts came to his head and each left a drop of sadness in his heart. Soon he was drowning in it. He didn’t even realize he’d sat down at the kitchen table until Joey sat next to him.
“Look at that, we were just talking about you. How’re you feeling?” Joey asked.
“Sick.” All plans of having fun with Uncle Joey were gone, he didn’t feel like laughing anymore.
“I heard. That’s not fun, is it?” Joey indulged and ruffled his hair.
There was a muffled click on the table and Yugi saw another tiny cup of pink sludge in front of him. He really didn’t want to drink it. He thought he’d have one and be done for the day. But then, is this what was making him so difficult? Steeling himself, he quickly downed it and made a face. Luckily, there was another cup of juice at the ready so he pounced on it.
Yami fiddled with his phone, sighing and taking out his earbud. Why was his dad upset, wasn't this what he needed to do? Yami could keep listening to whatever it was he had playing, Yugi didn’t care. Yugi was about to say as much when Joey snickered.
“You really are your dad’s kid, aren’t you?”
What did that mean? Yugi tried to study Yami and Joey to find the answers.
“It’s just a saying. You’re a pair of drama queens.” He still didn’t understand, what was a drama queen? Also, they were both boys so wouldn’t they be kings? Then, technically, wouldn’t he be a prince and Yami a king?
“Don’t worry about it, it was a joke.”
All this thinking was starting to hurt his head so he was more than happy to let it go, opting to drink the rest of his juice instead.
“Alright, it’s about time for me to start work. I’ll be downstairs if you two need me.” Joey waved.
Yugi looked back at his dad, it wasn’t the weekend yet. “How come you aren’t working?”
“Because someone needs to watch you,” Yami sat down and ran a hand through his hair.
“I can be alone, you said so. You can go,” he tried to encourage, trying to prove he wasn't as bad as he heard his dad say he was.
“That’s only for a few hours after school and when you’re feeling well. You aren’t old enough to take care of yourself all day yet.” Yami said sternly.
Why wouldn’t he listen? Yugi would be fine! He could call his grandma if no one else was around and he really needed help. While Yugi stewed over his thoughts, finding the right things to tell Yami, letting him know that he was serious, Yugi nodded along to what he believed were questions. The moment he found what he wanted to say, Yami had already teleported to the pantry, rummaging for something.
“Any suggestions? We have soup, I can make a sandwich, or reheat some of last night’s dinner.”
Oh, he wanted food. Yugi wasn’t hungry and the idea of eating any of those things made his stomach turn inside out. But, he knew he should try to eat something if he wanted to get better, “Applesauce, please.”
“Applesauce it is.”
It was just enough to wake him up a bit more. He wasn’t ready to run around like usual, but he didn’t want to be in bed again so he flipped the TV on and his dad put in the password to unlock his cartoons. Yugi curled up against the arm of the couch with his water and got sucked into the colorful world of a blue dog and her friends. He had barely watched a few episodes when his dad took the remote from his hand.
“Hey, it’s not nice to steal! No,” he fought back, “I want to watch more.”
His dad laughed at him, which riled him up more. Why did adults always think he was being funny? He wasn’t, he was serious. The credits might be rolling and, sure, he hadn't really watched the last episode, but he wanted to listen to another one!
Yami put the remote down and held out his hand, “you can barely keep your eyes open. Come on, time for sleep.”
He didn’t understand why he was so tired, he hadn't been awake for more than a few hours, but he didn't have it in him to keep up the fight. Yugi knew Yami would easily outlast him and he still would have to go to bed. Barely able to keep his eyes open, he took his dad’s hand and followed him back to his room. His bed had been stripped of its quilt and he was tucked under the sheets. So that’s why Yugi felt like he was sleeping in the freezer before.
“Daddy, it's too cold. Can I have my blanket back?”
Yami pulled the sheets up, “No can do. Your fever’s really high. Stay still and you’ll warm up in no time.”
“Please, I’m going to turn into a popsicle!” Yugi begged and hugged Kuriboh close for warmth. When a heavy weight was put on him, Yugi opened his eyes and flipped to face his dad. Yami glanced down at him with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes, but Yugi was warming up and that's what mattered. Yugi held onto his dad's shirt and listened as Yami talked about the rain and how it should clear up soon. All of the spring flowers will take its place and the birds will come back from their winter rest. They made a promise to go walking in the town gardens with everyone as soon as it was clear and sunny again.
Yugi dreamed, at first, of touring the gardens. He walked with his family, taking in all the greenery that his dad said were waiting for them. They were having a nice time out in the sunshine. Birds flew towards a pond where a new family of ducks were swimming peacefully and some dragonflies were dancing across the tall grass. He was warm and happy, everything was right in the world.
Then it morphed into a memory of school. It was the first week, he was still remembering which desk he was supposed to sit at and which hook he needed to put his backpack on. The bell rang, signaling for the students to line up for recess and he looked behind him as a girl started crying. Somehow, her backpack got knocked off her hook and the teddy bear she’d hidden in there were on display for everyone to see. The children around her laughed and he suddenly took her place. The others tossed his kuriboh plush high above his head, calling him names and knocking him to the floor whenever he got close to getting his stuffed animal back. It hurt, his hands were bleeding, and they started mocking him when he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.
The kids crowded around him in a circle, cackling, and it became too suffocating and hot. He didn’t like this. He didn’t want to be there and wanted someone to make them stop. After hearing a similar sigh, Yugi lifted his head and searched above the mass of blurry eyes and jeering smiles, and felt relief. His dad was there, but instead of offering a helping hand, he shook his head.
“You’re too difficult for me. I can’t keep fixing things if you make them worse. I’m done, get yourself out of this.” With a final shake of his head, Yami turned around and left Yugi reaching and crying out for him.
Yugi jerked awake, alone and with tears streaming down his face. At least he had Kuriboh back. He cried into the furry ball until he registered a different wet spot on it and himself. Sniffling, he whimpered and slipped back on his feet. He couldn’t believe that he wet the bed. The dream-kids taunts colored his thoughts as he pulled at the sheets. Shaking his head, Yugi didn't want to believe them. He wasn't a helpless baby and he didn't always make things worse. To prove it, he would fix this mistake all by himself.
However, determination sometimes wasn't enough to change reality. He fought with the blanket and barely managed to get it off the bed, falling onto the floor because he didn’t plan for the sudden slack from the sheets. Kicking and swatting the thing only made it tangle itself around him even more. He’d used every last ounce of energy he had and the thing was still wrapped around him like a boa constrictor. It crushed his self-confidence, but he couldn’t stand up, let alone walk out of his room anymore. He couldn't do this alone.
“Daddy!” He yelled and heard footsteps come rushing to his rescue. He closed his eyes, not wanting to face the reality of the situation, and started sobbing in earnest. Yami picked him up, blanket dropping to the floor in one easy movement, and held Yugi close.
“It’s okay, Daddy’s here. You’re okay.”
It made Yugi feel smaller than he already did. He hated it and was afraid of what would happen if he kept letting himself be held this, but he wanted his dad more. He curled closer until he heard Yami grasp what had happened.
Jerking back, the words came out like vomit. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I tried to fix it myself, but I can’t. I tried and I fell.”
“It’s alright, sweetheart. It was just an accident.” Yami shushed him.
Yugi felt them moving but didn’t know where they were going. He didn’t want to go anywhere like this, he wanted to get down, run back to his room, and hide from embarrassment. He wanted to—
“Bath time.” Yami said as he set Yugi on the ground, “Can you get out of those clothes by yourself or do you need help this time?”
Of course he could, he was six years old! He was big enough to get dressed and undressed by himself. But, then why didn’t his dad believe that he could? Should Yugi doubt himself too? No, he just needed to show his dad he could do it.
Before that, he sat Kuriboh close by. Only for the toy to roll off his perch. After the third time it happened, Yugi's irritation became palpable. The mental warnings he gave Kuriboh seeped out as growls and soft shrieks as it fell off again, and again, and again. Once he’d instilled enough fear into his cuddle toy that it finally obeyed him, the tub was filled and he checked the temperature of it.
“Cold!”
“It’s not cold, you’re warm.” Yami calmly said.
Yugi didn’t believe him, but his dad wasn’t going to refill the tub if he asked. He wrestled with his shirt, elbowing the counter in the process and letting out another cry until the fabric let him out. Seeing his dad pick up his furry friend made him all the more frustrated. All that work, and now he’d have to do it again!
“No, Kuriboh!” Yugi lunged for the toy, ready to put him back where he belonged.
“Kuriboh is wet, too. See?” Yami flipped it over to show Yugi the wet patch on it's fur, “he needs to get cleaned up too.”
Easy, “he can take a bath with me.”
“He gets a different bath, you know that. He goes in the washing machine.”
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Yugi understood his dad was telling him the truth, but he wasn’t thinking about that right now. Although he was denying it, deep down, he wanted as much comfort as he could get and it was being taken away from him. It was too confusing. Nothing made sense anymore and he was done trying to understand. He hit the tub, “No, with me!”
Yami covered him with a towel, “Yugi,” he began.
“No!” He was over it. If nothing he did was good enough, then he was through trying.
“Yugi, listen to me. I’m going to go take care of your bed and give you a chance to sort yourself out.” His dad left. Like he had in the dream and like Yugi was afraid of. The emptiness and horror rising in Yugi's chest halted his tantrum.
Yugi had failed to prove he could fix things himself and now his dad had left him. He didn’t want to be around Yugi anymore, he was too much work and Yami couldn’t handle it. Yugi was heartbroken. He felt wrong, bad, but more urgently, disgusting. He quickly finished getting undressed and into the tub. If turning into an ice cube would make his dad come back, he would go swimming in Antarctica with the penguins.
His dad did return but went away again after throwing Yugi's toy shark and boat in the water. Maybe he came back just to make sure Yugi wouldn't be bored after he'd left forever.
After cleaning up, he pushed the boat around until cups of water were dumped on his head. Yugi didn’t like this cycle of his dad leaving and coming back. Would he just stay if Yugi pretended he wasn’t there? But then, an angry feeling swirled in him. Yugi did what he was told, why wouldn't he stay? He hated how confused he was, he hated how sad and weak he felt. Taking up the shark, Yugi made it bite his dad’s hand in revenge.
“Angry Shark eats Mean Daddy,” the attack eased the feeling in his chest a little but it came right back as guilt. It wasn’t Yami’s fault Yugi's insides were a twisty mess. “But that’s not nice. Time out.”
Neither said much for the rest of his bath or as he put clean pajamas on. Yami asked him if he wanted a turn with video games, despite being in the middle of one. Yugi refused, hoping to make up with his dad without him having to come out and say it.
“I want to watch you play,” He motioned toward the discarded controller.
“Alright,” Yami went back to his game, but Yugi didn’t pay it any attention. He hated how he felt and needed some time to think about everything that had happened since he woke up this morning. He whispered to himself when talking in his head didn't help.
“Something on your mind, sweetheart? You know you can tell me anything, right?” Yami went into the character menu and passed him a tissue.
Yugi considered it. Maybe he should tell his dad, he always knew what to do. But, that would prove how incapable Yugi was. What if that was part of the problem? He needed to solve this puzzle on his own. As he listened to his dad continue his game, Yugi pressed his brain for an answer.
The threads Yugi could disentangle from the knotted mess thumping in his chest were these: he didn’t like feeling like a little kid, not after all the work he’d put into proving he wasn’t; he didn’t want his dad to be disappointed in him; and he wanted to do anything he could to keep his dad from leaving, he'd be all alone if that happened.
When his dad got up from the couch to get dinner, Yugi refused. He wasn’t hungry, his head hurt from thinking so much, but he wanted to know what to do. No matter how much milk he drank or walked on his tip-toes, he wouldn't have a sudden growth spurt. Even if he couldn't make things alright on his own, he wanted to stop making them worse. To do that, though, he needed to know what it was he was doing wrong.
All too quickly, it was bedtime and he still didn't have a clear idea of what to do. He got to sleep in his dad’s big bed, but he was too distracted to enjoy it. Yami had talked to him more recently about responsibility. He praised Yugi for doing his chores calling him… something close to responsibility, and he gave Yugi lectures to do his best in school. If he didn't know what he was doing wrong, he could focus on things he knew he should do. He'd get better at school and doing his chores when he wasn't sick. It would make his dad proud of him again.