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Wei Yuan did not remember both of his parents. His baba would look so sad when he asked. He would wait then to ask baba only when the curiosity overtook him.
“He was the best of men,” baba would say, “Righteous, forthright. Ah, my Lan Zhan was too good, too good!”
And then he would launch into a story of a long time ago, when baba was young. Older than Wei Yuan, usually, but not an actual adult.
For a long time, that was what Wei Yuan knew of his father. He was a very good man, and Wei Yuan should definitely try to be like him when he grew up.
-~-
Wei Yuan had always been under the impression that his father was dead. They way baba spoke of him, the longing- surely, he thought, his father, the ‘Righteous, Rule Following Lan Zhan’ wouldn’t just…leave his baba alone, with a child to care for.
And yet, it seemed he had.
They’d run into him at a cultivation conference. Baba had moved out of China and into the American cultivation sector, where talismans were in greater demand in being studied and innovated more frequently. Baba was good at everything, of course, but talismans were a particularly good point for him.
This wasn’t Wei Yuan’s first conference attendance, and he waited patiently for his baba to finish talking so they could go eat lunch. He’d wandered away, watching the fish swim in the display tanks. He had a cell phone, but it gave a better impression at cultivation conferences the less you used one, so he was waiting for lunch to pull it out.
“You! What are you doing unsupervised?”
Wei Yuan turned, confused. He wasn’t? And he was thirteen, anyway. A young woman dressed very traditionally was storming towards him. Wei Yuan was thoroughly confused. Who was this lady?
“My-“
She interrupted his attempt to communicate by grabbing his arm and turning him to face directly towards herself, then gasped.
“Goodness! Where is your ribbon?!”
Half the lobby stopped and turned, and Wei Yuan felt self-conscious for something he was completely confused about.
“Miss, I’m very sorry, but I think you’ve got the wrong-“
The cultivator holding his arm was completely ignoring him, eyes wide.
“Ah, Second Young Master Lan! Forgive me, I was just-“
“Being loud. Very loud. Confusing the youth. Making assumptions.”
“Pardon?”
“This is not one of our disciples.”
The young lady looked shocked, then turned back to Wei Yuan, confused.
“But- forgive me, but he looks very much like-“
“Excuse me! That’s my son you’re trying to scold, and he’s done nothing wrong. Well, nothing wrong by my standards, and he isn’t part of your clan, so that’s all that matters. If you could please unhand my son I’d be deeply appreciative, thank you!”
His baba to the rescue. Sliding his way in between them, he rescued Wei Yuan from the strange lady’s clutches. Finally freed, he sunk back into his baba. Leather and ink, he smelled like, and he closed his eyes and just breathed in to center himself. He was feeling a bit off-kilter, and he knew with his baba around, everything would be sorted quickly enough.
A hand rubbed the back of his neck gently. His baba had realized Wei Yuan was feeling overwhelmed. Just knowing this made him feel more settled.
-~-
For his part, Wei Wuxian was having a very awkward moment. Ah, how do you talk to the guy who abandoned you and your kid over a decade ago? Not that Wei Wuxian held it against him, there had been a concerted effort to make Wei Wuxian out to be the devil incarnate, and he had a strong feeling that the Lan Clan had been very involved in Lan Zhan’s decision.
Still, that didn’t mean he was ready to just…talk with the guy, who was somehow as beautiful as ever. And looking- very surprised.
Wei Wuxian was literally a featured speaker, it was on the event website and everything! No need for so much shock, Wei Wuxian thought, and then his gaze followed Lan Zhan’s-
Oh yeah, his kid. Their kid, genetically. Not that any of the Lan Elders had cared. Wei Wuxian’s relation was more than enough to brand A’Yuan as ‘Undesirable Number Two’ for life.
He felt it somehow ironic that, despite bearing markers of Wei Wuxian’s parentage, precious A’Yuan looked quite a bit like his father.
Who hadn’t ever actually seen Wei Yuan.
“Imagine meeting you here, Lan Zhan! I didn’t know the Lan sect would be descending en masse on the conference, what a coincidence! It’s been a while, yeah?”
Not his strongest work, but it drew Lan Zhan’s attention away from A’Yuan, who had been overwhelmed and embarrassed (on top of slightly travel-worn and jet-lagged) in that mortifying way pre-teens with their budding hormones felt oh-so-keenly. His A’Yuan was also so kind, and polite, being faced with rudeness and expected to respond in some way tended to make him freeze up.
“Yes. It has been almost fourteen years,” Lan Zhan agreed, gaze focused.
“Sounds right, sounds right. Well, we will have to get dinner, or lunch, or breakfast- not drinks, of course- while we’re here together. Catch up!”
Wei Wuxian had no real intention of doing this. He had been burned rather thoroughly last time, and he had Wei Yuan to think of now. He couldn’t risk the stability he’d painstakingly carved out for them on- what? An old fling? Romantic notions of his youth that had turned into dust, ostracization, forced immigration, and near homelessness? With a baby, mind you?
He didn’t hold any of it against Lan Zhan. He understood the pressures of Clan Duties and Responsibilities. Granted, he’d thought that their bond could overcome all of it- Wei Wuxian overcoming the displeasure of Madame Yu at the match, the pressures of their social circle telling Wei Wuxian that he wasn’t and never would be good enough to match the Lan Heir, and Lan Zhan overcoming the restrictions and regulations of his Clan.
Lan Zhan had fallen to his duties first, and that exposed a hole in Wei Wuxian’s armor. Wei Wuxian was swallowed up and spit out by the rest of ‘Good Cultivation Society’, and frog-marched out of the country with little except the clothes on his back and a few official papers. Wei Wuxian had pulled himself out of abject poverty with a child in one arm, while Lan Zhan had remained the shining example of modern cultivators everywhere.
Okay, so maybe. Maybe he was holding it against Lan Zhan a little bit.
He smiled, tilted his head, and waved. As he carefully shepherded his kid out of the common area, he wondered if he would, in fact, run into Lan Zhan again.
He did wonder what the Lan Clan had come for. If they’d brought cultivators young enough to mix A’Yuan up with, that must mean quite a few of them were there.
A familiar shadow was keeping in step with him.
“Lan Zhan?”
“Mn.”
“Don’t you have young Lans to wrangle?”
“No.”
“…I see.”
A’Yuan was peeking out now, playing coy rather than actually feeling shy or overwhelmed.
“I don’t think you’ve met my own personal minion. Minion, say hello to Lan Zh- ah, Lan Wangji, the Second Young Master of the Lan Clan.”
Wei Yuan, prompted by fingers poking into ticklish places, let go to properly bow and introduce himself.
“Hello-“
“He’s my son.”
Wei Wuxian was very glad the hallway was deserted at the moment.
“Well, yes?”
“Wait, he’s my dead dad?”
“You told him I was dead?”
“I never said that! I- huh, I guess I never talked much about you in the present, though.”
“So wait, my dad’s just a deadbeat then?!”
“A’Yuan! How did you jump to such a conclusion, huh? How many stories have I told you about Lan Zhan?”
“You told me he was a very good, righteous, upright cultivator and I should grow up like him. I don’t know how someone could be so good and just abandon us like he did!”
“A’Yuan, I told you there were a lot of things happening-“
“I didn’t know.”
Silence in the hallway.
“Beg pardon.”
“I didn’t know. We were going. To have a child.”
Wei Wuxian was confused now.
“I showed you the positive test. I told your Clan Elders. You helped me pick out nursery colors!”
“…I thought Wei Ying was joking.”
“You let me renovate your office for a prank?!?” Not his biggest concern, but the fact that Lan Zhan thought he would have joked about something like that stung, and he didn’t want to address it here, in public.
“So you’re just an asshole who didn’t believe baba, and then dumped him, and left him to pick up all the pieces by himself. Baba, are you sure I’m his?”
“A’Yuan!”
“Sorry, not like that. I just- don’t think he’s someone I want to be like.”
“Should be like yourself.”
“You don’t get to drop one-liners of wisdom if you miss more than one child support payment.”
Wei Wuxian was having a Moment. He was very upset, confused, more than a little hurt, but watching two of the people with the most influence over his heart argue, looking so very like each other was doing things to him. A’Yuan was pouting up at his dad. Wei Wuxian had rarely seen him do it after the age of five, but he was in full ‘Lan Zhan’ petty mode, nose scrunching just so, eyes narrowed and focused on the object of his ire. It was adorable enough to distract Wei Wuxian from the fact that multiple upsetting bits of information had just come to light.
“A good point.” Lan Zhan reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. It was top of the line in an ‘It was hand-delivered by the company’ sort of way and didn’t have a single scratch. The Lans might be antiquated and generally anti-technology, but they also hated to be seen as common.
Wei Wuxian felt a chime from his cell phone, and got an immediate sinking feeling.
“Lan Zhan, please tell me you did not-“
“It isn’t the full amount owed, there are daily limits. But I will pay the full amount with interest.”
Wei Wuxian felt dizzy, and both A’Yuan and Lan Zhan reached out to steady him where he swayed. Absently, he noticed that Lan Zhan had interrupted multiple people in the past few minutes.
“Lan Zhan, that isn’t-“
“Isn’t enough, I know.” There it was again! Maybe he was dreaming. Was the hallway a liminal space?
“You can’t just bribe your way into my life,” A’Yuan piped up, glaring at Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian had seen that look a thousand time on Lan Zhan’s face as a teenager, glaring at him to stop acting up during a lesson.
“I know. But that doesn’t mean I don’t owe you anything. It doesn’t mean I don’t owe an apology to Wei Ying, for being such a poor spouse, and horrible friend, and it doesn’t mean I don’t owe an apology to A’Yuan.”
“Wei Yuan.”
“Wei Yuan. For abandoning him these years, intentionally or not. Wasn’t it Wei Ying who told me you can’t always judge by intentions, you must include the consequences?”
Yes, he had. A lifetime ago. When Wei Ying was trying to explain his frustration with a set of laws set in place by cultivators who had no idea what repercussions they would have on the actual population. How difficult it would make life, and how likely those laws would be ignored due to the sheer impracticality.
“Lan Zhan, please.”
“The Clans have competed so much in China, they are locked in a tight competition. In an attempt to get ahead, the smaller Sects have begun expanding abroad. Brother took my advice, and the Lan are doing their due diligence. We can’t pretend that cultivation advances are only being made back home. I came along with him. Saw Wei Ying was a speaker, and hoped to get a chance to come and apologize in person. This Lan Zhan was unfaithful in hard times, and let the excuse of ‘Clan Duty’ blind him to the Duty he owed the person he had pledged his heart and life to. Wei Ying was cast aside, and this Lan Zhan regrets it every day. Wei Ying deserved more then, and deserves more now.”
Lan Zhan bowed very low, and even A’Yuan, with his shaky knowledge of traditional clan etiquette, gasped in shock.
“Wei Ying, I apologize for failing you so completely. For forsaking you. For not speaking up for you.”
“Ah, Lan Zhan, I know how it was back then. What could you have done, even? Except lose your reputation.”
“Then I should have lost it. I should have tried. Is success the only reason to do the right thing? If I were to only do good when I am secure in getting acknowledgement and rewards, is that true goodness?”
Wei Wuxian’s breath caught.
“You heard that?”
“Mn. I was there. You didn’t see me. I should have spoken up. I was naïve, and foolishly thought that the truth would be exposed, and that Wei Ying would be redeemed, and-“
“We could get back together, then? After it all blew over?”
“En. I was foolish.”
“ah, Lan Zhan, so was I.”
Lan Zhan’s eyes twitched downward slightly.
“Not that way, Lan Zhan-“
“Wei Ying reasonably expected his husband to stand by him and not abandon him twice over. Wei Ying was the only person daring to say what should have been said, and do what should have been done. Wei Ying…”
He didn’t finish his sentence. Wei Ying smiled. His Lan Zhan, still losing his words when emotions were high! He waited patiently, his A’Yuan now scowling slightly less than before.
“Wei Ying was brave, and good, and kind. Wei Yuan should take your example, not mine.”
Wei Ying covered A’Yuan’s mouth before he could make another smart remark.
“That- ah, you know I’m a troublemaker, Lan Zhan! And anyway, it’s all water under the bridge. So long ago!”
“And yet, Wei Ying still bears the consequences.”
He couldn’t shrug that off. Well, at least Lan Zhan seemed cognizant of what life was like for him, after. And had apologized.
“Well. If Lan Zhan is that sorry, he should take accompany us to lunch. I’ll pay.”
“Wei Ying will not. This Lan Zhan will-“
“Wait, baba, why does he have to come?”
“A’Yuan! Don’t be rude, he’s your-“
“He’s my future therapy sessions, is what he is.”
“I do not wish to intrude.”
“No no, we should talk. Somewhere private. And Wei Yuan should have some time with his father before he dismisses him out of hand, honestly!”
“Baba, I don’t have to like someone just because they’re blood related.”
“I won’t impose myself into a role Wei Yuan isn’t ready for.”
“A’Yuan, you need to be reasonable. If you want to get somewhere in the Cultivation World, having the backing of the Lan Heir even slightly will get you places you never thought possible!”
“I don’t want those people to help me! And anyway, I just want to be with you. I like talismans, and I want to help you grow the company and get famous and respected all over everywhere! Who cares what the stuffy old people back home think, all your talismans make the lives of everyone safer. Anyone who can’t respect that can go-“
“A’Yuan,” Wei Wuxian warned,
“Go take a long walk off a short sword.”
“A’Yuan, it just a lunch. I’m not promising to get remarried to him. Okay?”
A’Yuan looked up at him suspiciously. Again, this was the look Lan Zhan would give Wei Ying who had just promised he had ‘no contraband whatsoever, scouts honor!’.
A’Yuan finally turned to Lan Zhan, who was waiting quietly for judgement.
“You can come. But I still don’t like you.”
“I abandoned your father in his darkest hour, I wouldn’t expect you to.”
They nodded in understanding at each other.
Were they actually having a moment over agreeing that Lan Zhan’s past behavior was…subpar?
He had a bad feeling once they managed to reach a truce that his life would get rather difficult.
Wei Wuxian tried not to think too hard about how his heart jumped at the thought of his two precious people together, at peace with each other.
-~-
Lunch went- well it went. Not horribly, but not smoothly either.
Mostly, his precious bun shot challenges at Lan Zhan, who either ignored them (if it was mostly an insult) or responded (if it was an inaccuracy) with a correction, which annoyed Wei Yuan who was fairly used to being one of, if not the smartest person in a room.
Lan Zhan was patient though, and met Wei Yuan blow for blow.
It was hard not to look at them both and think about what was.
“Wei Ying, may I call you?”
“Of course.” They shared numbers. At this point, A’Yuan hadn’t completely warmed up yet, but he was generally less hostile to Lan Zhan.
“Baba, you still love him, don’t you?”
“…Maybe. I think so.”
“He left you. He left us.”
“I know. And before we every get together again, there are several conversations we’ll have. And of course, A’Yuan will have a say as well.”
“I will?”
“You will. If you truly hate him, if you think you can never get along and stop resenting him, we’ll stop right here. If you try and change your mind later, tell me, and we’ll stop right there. Whatever you choose, know that I will love you just the same.” He smoothed down A’Yuan’s hair. “Your feelings on the matter are legitimate. You also don’t need to make a choice now, I don’t mind leaving him on read, or telling him we’ll contact him when we’re ready.”
A’Yuan was silent, thinking.
“I think I can accept it. On the condition that he has a lot of work to do to make it all up to us.”
“Agreed. A’Yuan, you are my top priority, okay? I loved Lan Zhan before, and maybe I do now, but I love my baby too, and don’t want my baby to be unhappy. Okay?”
“Okay.” And A’Yuan smiled up at him, brave and shaky, but trusting. Whatever happened, they would be okay.
-~-
They met after dinner that night, making their way to a quiet little tea shop away from the main conference crowds. A’Yuan was in the hotel room, and settled in with a movie and snacks.
As they sat across the table from each other, Wei Wuxian felt a surge of longing. They truly could have had this-
Ah, no what ifs, he scolded himself.
“Wei Ying, I do not mean to be an imposition in your life, nor do I think that my new…knowledge of Wei Yuan somehow entitles me to a place or authority. I would, however, be open to whatever position you and Wei Yuan are willing to allow me. And I am serious, I would like to contribute financially to Wei Yuan’s future, at least. I think he is owed that much.”
Wei Wuxian smiled.
“Ah, my Lan Zhan. You really are too good. Wei Yuan is tentatively willing to allow you a chance. I think you really impressed him by not shying away from responsibility, or trying to downplay it. And I would like you to be involved in some capacity as well. A’Yuan deserves to know you. I think he will come to love you very much.”
“I accept.” He hesitated. Wei Ying waited again. “I do not want to pressure you, Wei Ying. You should know that I have been considering this for quite some time, so please don’t- don’t dismiss it as spur of the moment.”
“I’m listening, Lan Zhan.”
“I’m leaving the Main Sect. We have been discussing setting up operations abroad, and I volunteered to head the post myself. I told myself for years that it was too late to do anything for you, that I had missed my chance to do the right thing. And then I started to realize that this was just another excuse for myself, and that I needed to take the steps anyway. I do not want to abandon my brother, so I have not cut ties completely. But I cannot let myself be used by the Clan Elders as I did before. I let myself be convinced of their moral superiority back then, and I failed not just Wei Ying’s expectations, but my own as well.”
“So you’re setting up base…”
“Somewhere in America, yes. Perhaps Wei Ying has come recommendations?”
Wei Wuxian smiled at Lan Zhan. It was the sincerest smile he’d given Lan Zhan in a very, very long time.
“I think I can work out some, yes.”
-~-
Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian had forgotten, was the kind of person who would decide something and then stubbornly root himself in that path. Like a giant boulder, where only the top ten percent was actually above ground. Was that icebergs? Whatever. That was Lan Zhan.
So now, Lan Zhan had stuck himself in this strange dance of both giving Wei Wuxian and Wei Yuan a respectful amount of space, but also throwing himself into their lives irretrievably. To be honest, Wei Wuxian had thought it would take a bit more time for Lan Zhan to insinuate himself like he had.
It was reassuring on the one hand, that Lan Zhan was taking such pains and making such efforts to truly be involved in their lives. Every time that Lan Zhan made A’Yuan a priority, particularly over the whims of his Clan, it settled something in Wei Wuxian he hadn’t known was standing on edge.
On the other hand, it was a bad place for Wei Wuxian’s heart. He was nervous, some part of him still waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’d believed, naively, that his Lan Zhan would be the one person he could actually trust in when they said they wouldn’t leave him. To have that ripped out from him had really, really screwed up some deep-seated issues from his childhood in a way that similar actions from others hadn’t, because he’d expected it from them.
Wei Wuxian had thought, considering Lan Zhan’s normally deliberate sort of pace, he’d have more time to get used to this new normal. Instead, Lan Zhan was everywhere now, and the part of Wei Ying that still loved him unconditionally was warring with the part of him that knew better. It was a thoroughly wretched place to be in. And there was no end in sight!
Lan Zhan knew Wei Yuan’s schedule, and had (with permission) taken over a decent portion of child-ferrying duties for distant flute lessons. He knew his school schedule, his teachers, and what grades A’Yuan was getting in each. He knew A’Yuan preferred folk music to rock, and for A’Yuan’s birthday, gotten him merch from just. So many bands. A’Yuan had begrudgingly acknowledged that one of the band shirts was his new favorite.
Lan Zhan had also continued to make good on the child support aspect, and A’Yuan now had a much healthier savings account.
Their house was also, somehow, completely paid for now, interest and all. Lan Zhan had apologized for overstepping on that one, admitting that he had gone spiraling a bit about preparing for all contingencies for A’Yuan’s future, and had set about covering all bases without considering Wei Wuxian’s involvement in the whole thing. He had been forgiven (Wei Wuxian could not, in this aspect, afford to ignore the relief it was to have the house mortgage-free), with the assurance that he would speak with Wei Ying about these things moving forward.
A'Yuan was still guarded around Lan Zhan, though. Wei Ying knew his son, and A’Yuan was in his ‘friendly stranger’ mode most of the time. And honestly, six months in to this whole new world, Wei Wuxian couldn’t find it in himself to encourage him to open up to Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian was fairly certain he could recover if Lan Zhan left him again. He couldn’t in good conscience encourage his son to trust Lan Zhan in a way that he himself did not. He didn’t want to have to pick A’Yuan’s pieces up if the past repeated itself.
So he was mildly stressed at any given moment, honestly. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Lan Zhan had been making noises about doing a little bit more, like paying for A’Yuan’s schooling directly. Maybe even moving him to a better school. The problem was that this would be…different. Everything else was something already done and given. The account for A’Yuan’s future was firmly in his name, legally protected and everything. The house was firmly in Wei Wuxian’s name, legally protected and everything.
To allow himself to trust that Lan Zhan would continue this- he wasn’t sure he could make that step.
And part of him did bristle, slightly, and the implication that Wei Wuxian couldn’t do this for A’Yuan. They had been managing just fine before Lan Zhan came along. A’Yuan was happy, fed and clothed and housed. Sure, luxuries were few and far between, but Wei Wuxian had scraped all of it out from the dirt himself, and he didn’t need some rich-
Ah. He couldn’t let his own hang-ups get in the way of his kid’s future.
He was still rattled though. And while sure, it would be great to move A’Yuan to a school with a better name and reputation, he didn’t think it was something A’Yuan would want. They’d discussed it before, when Lan Zhan had just been a distant topic, and A’Yuan had declared himself very happy where he was. He had friends he liked there, and his teachers were great.
And Wei Wuxian was himself a product of the ‘best schools’ the Cultivation world had to offer, and look where he was! He’d made a name for himself despite their best efforts.
He himself was rather concerned for the difficulties he knew a’Yuan would face in schooling with ‘the right kind of people’. His baby was a bit too down-to-earth for them, and while friendly and charming, he didn’t want A’Yuan’s childhood to be a series of political machinations for the future. Lan Zhan had only ever known that, and so didn’t realize what he was trying to throw A’Yuan into.
At least an elite school here wouldn’t have the children of all the people who’d personally stomped on Wei Wuxian. It didn’t make him feel any better.
No. He decided on it. A’Yuan had been clear, and Wei Wuxian, despite all the glowing recommendations the school advertised about itself, did not want his baby to live that kind of life. He also, he admitted, did not trust Lan Zhan enough with his son’s future. Repercussions were for Wei Wuxian to handle, not for A’Yuan to get slapped down by.
-~-
They met again, and Lan Zhan seemed to catch some of the determined energy coming from Wei Wuxian.
“Wei Ying?”
“Ah, Lan Zhan. I- ugh, this is hard. Okay, so. While I appreciate you wanting to get A’Yuan the best he can have, we can’t accept the change to his schooling. A’Yuan is happy where he is, and so we- I’m not going to uproot him from his friend group, or his teachers. He’s doing quite well.”
Lan Zhan tilted his head in a wordless question. Wei Ying was frustrated that he found it so cute.
“Lan Zhan. I understand you made the offer with the best of intentions, but an elite education- that’s not the end-all be-all of life, you know? I’ve tried to make sure that A’Yuan is happy. You and I, we were forced into roles and responsibilities that could have crushed us- that did crush us, in the end. I’m not getting A’Yuan into that.”
“I’m offering a better education, not an official, recognized role in the Lan Sect.”
“I know. But- Lan Zhan. If something happens to you tomorrow, we can continue on just fine as we are. If something happens after A’Yuan joins this school, we’re screwed. I can’t afford that, and getting yanked back and forth will only be detrimental to A’Yuan. Also, you really- Lan Zhan, you’re more sensible than most people in your- financial strata. But you still don’t understand what kind of power that wields, and how dangerous that is to someone like me.”
Wei Wuxian had to duck his head. To most people, it would have been hidden. Lan Zhan probably thought he had hidden it. But Wei Wuxian could still see the hurt on his face.
“Lan Wangji. I appreciate everything you have done so far, and all the efforts you have made. I appreciate that you have been respectful of our boundaries, and cognizant of our needs. This is a boundary I have to draw. While I greatly appreciate that you want to help, I cannot accept it in this form.”
“You don’t trust that I’ll stay.”
Wei Wuxian clenched his jaw. He didn’t, but that’s not what he wanted the conversation to be about.
“It’s more than that. It’s- at this point it’s not just about trusting you. It’s about planning for the future. I have to be practical, okay? My kid is just that- my kid. To the elite of the cultivation world, he’s never going to be more than that. Do you have any idea the kind of target you’ll be putting on his back by claiming my bastard son?”
“Anyone with sense would know he’s mine.”
“What makes you think anyone would use sense? It didn’t matter to your Elders! You- it’s just like before,” Wei Wuxian muttered bitterly. Lan Zhan flinched, and it filled him with guilt but honestly, Wei Wuxian was tired of dancing around the feelings of Wei Yuan and Lan Zhan plus his own.
“Lan Wangji, the world isn’t fair. The Sects aren’t kind and understanding. You know this, you lived it with me. Everything they can take, they will take. Anything they can use to bring someone else down, they will. Do you understand how few protections Wei Yuan has in his life? The wall starts and ends with me. I’ve made a few friends who will try their best to help him, if something happens to me, but if events repeat themselves? Wei Yuan is screwed. And your clan will be the first to attack him, to get rid of this blight on their ‘Pristine’ record, and the Jiang will follow to show their disdain for me, and the Nie will follow to ‘rid the world of evil’ and the Jin will follow to see what money can be made.”
Wei Wuxian forced himself to take a sip of water to calm himself down.
“Sorry. I had a much shorter, calmer conversation planned out in my head, not the soapbox this conversation has become.”
“Wei Ying has been holding this all in for a long time. Perhaps it is good that he is finally letting it all out so I can hear it.”
“Don’t be nice to me when I’m scolding you.”
“I deserve it. And Wei Ying deserves it.”
“Ugh, you make it hard to stay mad at you, you know that?”
“Apologies.”
“And now you’re being funny again, you’re really the worst.”
“Sincerest apologies.”
“Lan Zhan!”
They sat in silence, almost comfortable again.
“I truly do apologize for overstepping, and causing Wei Ying so much stress. Is there a way I could provide this for Wei Yuan without causing distress, or trouble for Wei Yuan?”
Wei Wuxian wanted to snap again. He wasn’t sure why this was his problem!
But he did know. That wasn’t fair. He couldn’t get mad at Lan Zhan for actually listening to him.
“A’Yuan is perfectly fine where he is. Wei Yuan might enjoy aspects of Le Snobb’ie School, but he won’t be happy there. And more than anything, I want him to have a safe, happy childhood. I want him to know he is loved, and wanted, and never a burden.” He sighed, and collected his thoughts. “So I don’t think you need to do anything else. You’ve gotten a trust fund started for him, that will suffice for whatever he needs later on-“
“That’s not for his schooling though, this would be separate.”
“Then make one for schooling, something that is definitely his.”
Lan Zhan looked briefly ashamed of himself.
“My apologies. I should have thought of that first.”
He hesitated for a moment.
“Wei Ying, I do not want my presence in your lives to be a burden. Tell me to leave you both alone and I will. I do not want to, and would wait for permission if you ever allowed it, but I will. Wei Ying should be comfortable around me. If we’re in this together, then I cannot be a detriment.” He bowed over the table, making Wei Wuxian’s heart jump.
“I also apologize for the way I reacted. I allowed my own feeling and biases to get in the way, and challenged you without listening to your explanation. You know Wei Yuan best, and you know the reality of life and sect politics best. I am privileged, and forget to take that into consideration when speaking with you. I am so sorry, Wei Ying. I will continue to work and prove myself fully worthy of your trust.”
Wei Wuxian couldn’t explain why, exactly, it was so hard for him to breathe at the moment.
“Wei Ying, did I say something wrong?”
“No! No, sorry, I just- it’s been a lot. I’ll be fine.”
“Wei Ying, you’re crying.”
“Eh?” Sure enough, he was. He scrubbed at the tears fiercely. “Sorry, Lan Zhan!”
Familiar, familiar fingers pull away his hands, and wipe gently.
“Don’t hurt yourself, Wei Ying. You’re allowed to feel sad. I won’t judge. Wei Ying has much to feel sad about, and if you wanted to cry through the rest of the meeting, I would not be angry, or frustrated, or tell you to stop. Wei Ying has lots of feelings, and is allowed to express them.”
This, strangely enough, did not help Wei Ying stop crying. Lan Zhan swiftly moved from sitting across to sitting next to Wei Ying, who just sort of collapsed onto his shoulder.
“Sorry.”
“Wei Ying does not need to be sorry.”
“I still am.”
“I know. But there is no need, and I am honored to be the one sitting here to support you.”
Okay, this was officially bad for his heart now. This was something he would have killed for, when Wei Yuan had yet another ear infection and couldn’t sleep and so neither could Wei Wuxian in their dingy apartment with neighbors pounding the walls screeching at them to stop making noise.
This assurance right here, Lan Zhan’s calm, caring energy, his steady presence- it was still something Wei Wuxian longed for. He even still smelled like himself. Of course he smelled like himself. Not that Wei Wuxian could tell at the moment, really, the way his nose was stopped up from his crying.
“Try to drink a bit,” Lan Zhan said supportively, a glass of water appearing in front of his face.
It made him feel marginally better. He breathed in deeply, and felt overwhelmingly tired.
“I will drive Wei Ying home.”
“You don’t have to.”
“It would be my pleasure.”
The drive back was quiet, but in a reassuring way. Lan Zhan helped Wei Wuxian in, and didn’t make a single remark about the dishes left undone, or the way Wei Wuxian’s coat rack had fallen against the wall from overbalancing. He just escorted him upstairs, and sat quietly until Wei Wuxian fell into slumber.
-~-
When Wei Wuxian woke up, he heard voices downstairs. His brain felt a bit sluggish like it always did after a big cry, but then he recalled Lan Zhan.
He smiled, all alone in his bedroom, and stretched.
Making his way downstairs, he caught snatches of a rather civilized conversation between his A’Yuan and Lan Zhan. Music theory, it sounded like. Wei Wuxian was not slouch in the music department, but he’d never gotten into the discussions of chord progressions and majors versus minors. He was a free spirit and liked to just play from memory. Did his songs turn into variations just about every time? Yes! But that was just the charm of a Wei Wuxian Original Concert, they were never the same twice!
It drove his A’Yuan, who for some strange reason loved to study the building blocks of music, just a little crazy.
It was also, it seemed, giving him a bonding opportunity with his father, who had similarly been driven just a little bit crazy by Wei Wuxian’s propensity towards freestyling every song.
“Good Afternoon, my precious radish! How was school?”
A’Yuan rolled his eyes, but jumped off the stool to hug him.
“Fine. I made First Chair.”
“Did you! Aha, my little musical genius son!”
“Baba, it’s not THAT-“
“Nope, nu-uh, my son is brilliant, and excellent at music, I will not be swayed! Lan Zhan, tell him!”
“Wei Yuan has been given a serious challenge and responsibility. I’m sure he will do his utmost to prove his teacher’s faith in him correct.”
“Ugh, Lan Zhan, honestly, you can still make anything sound so dull.”
Lan Zhan’s mouth had shifted ever-so-slightly, and Wei Wuxian knew he was being made fun of.
“Ah! See, there it is, A’Yuan, right there! That’s the look he has when he’s making fun of me!”
His son dutifully looked, and squinted.
“It looks the same. Is he always making fun of you, then?”
Wei Wuxian gasped dramatically, and slouched against the counter.
“No, he isn’t. Lan Zhan, tell him.”
“Mn.”
“Lan Zhan!”