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It was a good day. Truly, it was. At least for him. Not so much for the small time gang he'd taken care of.
But for him? A good day. A great one, even. He'd woken up next to his boyfriend, got a good morning kiss in. Bit Liu Xiao right where it was best visible just to see his best friend's annoyance over it during breakfast.
He'd grinned, smug and amused. Xia Fei had pouted. Liu Xiao had settled for not getting involved in the chaos that was both of his boyfriends being idiots. Xia Fei would get back at him by hogging Liu Xiao for the rest of the day.
That was fair, and Vein hadn't minded. He was busy anyway.
That had been hours ago.
Now, he was quietly singing to himself beneath the shower. Hot water cascading over him. Loosening tense muscles, washing away sooth and grime and blood stains that were not his own.
The water ran red, flowed away into the drain. He let it run until it turned clear. Steam curled around his ankles like wisps.
To Vein, little was as relaxing as a hot shower after a successful day of fun, if hard, work. Succeeded only by being paid attention to by his darling boyfriend. Perhaps also succeeded by annoying Xia Fei.
He was still riding the euphoria of digging his teeth into the jugular of a man who'd disarmed him, assumed him to be helpless without a weapon. Who'd made the mistake of getting too close.
The man had thought he'd had the red wraith under his control when he'd slammed him into a wall. Instead he'd received teeth in his throat. Piercing skin like a serrated blade, shredding through soft tissue and ripping out flesh like a feral beast.
Everything after that was child's play.
Vein could still taste iron on his teeth. Ran his tongue along the top row. Savored the memory. Indulgence in a fantasy. He'd burned the body along with the warehouse.
He stepped out of the shower. Wet hair cascading down his back and chest like a waterfall of liquid fire. Droplets clinging to it and to his skin. Dripping to down and falling onto the tiles.
Clean, clear. No more traces of the carnage he'd left behind.
He wrapped a towel around his waist. Dapped the water away with another. Checked it over once, to be safe. White. Pristine. No speck of ichor in sight.
He put on his pants, for who knows who may barge in. Wouldn't be the first time someone tried to kill him. One of the first times he'd drowned someone happened because of an assassination attempt while he took a hot bath.
Next, he wiped over the mirror. The steam had left it fogged up. Grinned at himself, all fangs. Licked over his canines when he noticed that blood still clung to one of them. Savored the taste with a hum.
Then his eyes trailed down and his mood soured. Gone was the euphoria of a job well done upon setting sight on the absolutely horrendous scar trailing across and down his torso.
His heart lurched unpleasantly, and while he was grateful of the reminder that it was still beating, his skin crawled. A shudder went through him, left his hands trembling.
Was his heart really beating, or was it a figment of his imagination?
All the tension that had been washed away by the hot water returned all at once, the muscles in his shoulders locking up, his hands clenching. Grasping at the sink, holding on tightly as if it were the only thing keeping him upright.
His stomach felt as though flipped upside down and he failed at fighting another shudder. Chest heaving.
Cold cold cold. Why was he feeling so cold? Right. Dead. He was- no. He wasn't dead. He was alive. Wasn't he?
His eyes were caught on the scar, his breath shaky. Despite watching his chest expand and contract slightly with his every breath, he wasn't sure if he was genuinely breathing. Was he breathing? Was he faking it? The dead didn't breathe.
Vein blinked. Stared. Huh. His chest, his shoulders. There was no more movement beyond the subtle tremors. Right. The dead didn't breathe, and he was dead. Wasn't he?
He was feeling hot and cold all at once.
A touch on his shoulder startled him. After the heat of the shower, the skin contact held little difference in temperature.
"Breathe" a voice whispered into his ear. Calm, steady. A command that he couldn't help but obey. He sucked in a sharp breath, lungs burning. Exhaled shakily and greedily took another breath right after.
The touch on his shoulder trailed to the middle of his back. Steady pressure. There was no warmth to glean, but the presence was enough. Familiar. Comforting, even.
His eyes burned. Humiliation crashing down on him like a cold wave once his breathing got back under control. "Xiao" he croaked out, and hated how weak, feeble even, his voice sounded.
The pressure wandered up from between his shoulders, over the back of his neck. Disappeared briefly, just long enough to settle against the back of his head. A soft "Shh" was Liu Xiao's only response, before the younger man pulled him away from the sink, down and against himself.
Trapped in Liu Xiao's embrace, the stiffness of his muscles slowly disintegrated. Seeped out of him and left him sagging against the other. All energy gone with a blink.
His chin dropped down, landed on the black haired man's shoulder. His nose brushed against silky black hair. The familiar smell of cinnamon and subtle sweetness of spiderwort lulling his mind into recognizing the safe haven that was Liu Xiao. Hands hovering awkwardly only for a moment before settling on Liu Xiao's back.
"... you weren't meant to see that" he said, voice cracking. For a second, he couldn't help but think that returning to the body bag in the morgue would be better than being seen like this.
But what was love, if not to be known and seen?
Logically, he knew that being seen included the bad parts. The ugly parts. That didn't mean that he wanted Liu Xiao to see this. Didn't mean that he wanted Liu Xiao to see him shaking like a scared child, unable to as much as breathe properly.
He was better than this. He should be better than this.
He was older, he was more experienced, he could deal with this himself.
He would've, truly. It just would've taken a little longer for him to calm down by himself.
But for better or worse, Liu Xiao knew how to push his buttons. Including the ones that left him sagging into his embrace like a marionette with its strings all slashed in one fell swoop. Knew which ones calmed him, as though erasing all unnecessary thoughts.
Lips pressed against his temple. Firm but gentle. "If not me, who else?" Liu Xiao murmured, right beside his ear, and Vein had no counter to that. Because truly, who else but his boyfriend should be allowed to see this side of him?
He hated it. Being seen like this. Stripped of his usual layers of calmness and superiority. Then again, he wasn't superior to Liu Xiao in any way.
If Vein was the king of Bridon's Chinatown, then Liu Xiao was a god... with Chinatown's grand boss as his most devoted worshipper. At least in his eyes. Perhaps he'd have to fight with Xia Fei over that title.
Point was, he hated being vulnerable. Even if it was Liu Xiao. Perhaps especially because it was Liu Xiao. After all, the younger man fell in love with a man deemed Bridon's most dangerous killer.
Yet here he was, unsteady like a newborn fawn. About as useful as a bullet without a gun.
And Liu Xiao was there. Held him. Carded his fingers through wet hair and said nothing. As if he hadn't shaken Vein out of... whatever that had been. Despite it happening whenever he had bad days, Vein still wasn't sure what it was that happened.
"I'm sorry" he eventually murmured, assuming that Liu Xiao simply hadn't heard him before. The hand in his hair stilled in response. For a second, he thought that his boyfriend would pull away. Instead, he received a flick to his temple.
Ah. Seemed like that habit was rubbing off on not just his best friend, but his boyfriend as well.
Liu Xiao's hand wandered down. Along his jaw. Caressed it briefly, gently, and Vein leaned into the touch by sheer instinct. Then nimble fingers found his chin. Gripped it gently, tilted his head up.
Red met blue.
Vein mirrored Liu Xiao's frown. A hint concerned at seeing his boyfriend's worried stare. "You're supposed to be smart" is all the slightly shorter man said, before he let go of his chin in favor of tugging him out of the bathroom.
Tried to, at least. The second Vein realized what's happening, he refused to budge. Stared at the door as if it's the path to the death row. It may as well be, with that scar on full display.
"I need my shirt" he forced out, and Liu Xiao frowned. Looked him over. Eyes never once lingering on the Y-shaped scar that tainted his appearance. As if it wasn't there. The lack of recognition to the issue left his heart lurching again, and he reached his free hand up.
His fingers made contact with his collarbone and he felt the raised skin beneath the tips of his fingers. It was there. Not a figment of his imagination.
When he glanced up, the frown on Liu Xiao's face seemed heavier. Darker, in a way. A hint of something mixed in that Vein didn't recognize. It wasn't pity. He was grateful for that. He didn't want that- didn't need that.
The other took his wrist, ever so gently, pulled his hand away and down. "It's just us. Fei Fei isn't home for another hour or two... and I think we need to talk" Liu Xiao told him. Grabbed the shirt for him. This time, the redhead didn't fight him on being dragged out of the bathroom and over into the bedroom.
Vein's throat felt dry. His skin itching again. By no means as badly as before, but the forced vulnerability was something he certainly disliked.
At the same time, part of him trusted Liu Xiao enough to accept it. To go with the pace the other set out. If Liu Xiao said it was fine? It was fine. If he said they needed to talk? They'd talk.
They settled down on the bed. In the middle. Comfy. Liu Xiao sat cross-legged. Dragged Vein down so he was resting with his head on the other's thigh. The black haired young man didn't seem bothered by the residue water seeping into the fabric of his jeans.
Long, gentle fingers returned to his hair. Brushed through the crimson strands. Slow and almost soothing. Eyes trained on him. The redhead said nothing, didn't start... whatever talk they were about to have.
He simply let himself relax into the familiarity that was Liu Xiao paying attention to him. Greedily took it in like a starving man would a river.
"What was that, hm?" his boyfriend finally murmured, breaking the silence. Tugged on a strand of red hair to make sure that he had Vein's attention. He had it regardless. He always did.
Vein, in turn, frowned. "A bad day. That's all" he murmured, with a slight scowl. Narrowed his eyes. "Nothing you need to worry about"
It was Liu Xiao's turn to frown, and he looked equal parts concerned and unhappy. "Not worry-? Vein you... love. Talk to me. I can hear your heartbeat, you know that" he pointed out, a hint of a warning to his tone that hadn't been there before.
And Vein blinked. Stared. He'd forgotten, in all honesty.
After a moment or two, he sighed. Turned his head away. The fingers in his hair stilled. He hated it, but he was grateful that they were still there. "Is my heart still beating?" he eventually asked, instead of responding.
It was a stupid thing to ask, really. Of course it was. Still, a part of him wanted- no, needed to hear Liu Xiao confirm it. Because Liu Xiao was the only one who could hear for sure.
His boyfriend frowned, the concern on his face growing. "Yes. A little faster than normal, about as fast as when you're stressed. Not quite distress or panic, but... elevated" he supplied, a hint more information than he'd asked for, but something about the confirmation that what he was feeling was real comforted him.
He barely noticed it when Liu Xiao tilt his head, almost curious. Didn't hear him murmur something about his pulse calming, just a little.
"... it's the scar" Vein finally muttered, almost spat the words like they were a rotten piece of flesh that had gotten stuck between his teeth. Oh, if it were only that simple.
Fingernails dragged gently across his scalp. Once, twice. Then they settled into the usual rhythm that had Vein lean into the touch like an oversized cat getting scritches.
Liu Xiao said nothing, at first. Deep in thought. Then pulled his hand away. Vein blinked, frowned. A half-hearted "Hey-" at the tip of his tongue. It died when he noticed his boyfriend's palm hovering over his chest, near his collarbone.
"You're beautiful regardless" Liu Xiao told him firmly. Watched him with a caution not usually present. Not with the same caution people you usually looked at him with. Not like he was a wild animal about to bite and maim- like he was a frightened one forced into a corner.
His face twitched. His thoughts must've shown, because Liu Xiao's expression smoothed out into something more... him. "May I?" he asked, eyes darting to the marred skin, and Vein blinked.
For a long moment, he simple stared. Then nodded. Slow, not entirely sure what he was agreeing to.
The first brush of fingers against scarred skin left him freezing. Then, noticing that Liu Xiao had frozen as well, he forced himself to relax. Gave another, firmer nod.
It was oddly intimate, having some trace his scar. Liu Xiao had never been shy about touch- a hand on his lower back or shoulder. An arm around his waist, or hooked with his own. Messing with his braid. He'd watched him do the same with Xia Fei. Save for the braid. He did mess with Felix's hair in different ways.
Still, this? This was different. This was all Liu Xiao seeing him at his most vulnerable. Touching that which Vein could hardly handle on his own. Saw not just weakness, but the ugly part of him that he preferred to hide away.
And Liu Xiao regarded him as if appraising a priceless painting. Ignored the tattoo winding itself over his shoulder and down his arm. Didn't pay any attention to the ink painted across his shoulders and back.
No, his eyes and hands were touched only scarred skin. Gentle and featherlight. Not as if handling something fragile, but as if handling something priceless.
It was... nice.
Vein relaxed, just a hint. Stared up at Liu Xiao, watched his expression.
"You're beautiful" they said, pretty much at the same time. Vein, despite his state earlier, huffed out a laugh. Eyes gleaming with a hint of amusement.
Liu Xiao cracked a smile. The black haired man leaned down, pressed a kiss to his forehead. Then his cheek. "I won't push today. We'll talk about... what happened, once you feel up to it" he murmured.
The redhead paused, then hummed. "Perhaps" he responded, his voice no louder than Liu Xiao's. Received a tug on his hair in response and corrected himself to a "I'll try eventually" that his boyfriend seemed more accepting off.
They would need to talk about it. Eventually.
For now, this was enough.
(Xia Fei did, eventually, come home and threw the door open without knocking, but with a loud greeting. Promptly turning to flee the room upon seeing his best friend's shirtless back and their boyfriend in front of him.)