Chapter Text
Will never thought the end of high school would come, and now it was imminent. April 1989 arrived rainy and balmy, and he and his friends and classmates could taste freedom and life on the air. Everyone was restless and pushing themselves to the end with their last bits of strength from the school year. For Will, the end of compulsory school was both freeing and frightening because his whole life lay ahead of him, but he didn't know where it would lead.
The last couple of years allowed him to ease back into his normal life, and after spending so much quality time again with his friends, he suspected Mike knew his secret. Mike liked to act oblivious about most things, but Will knew he wasn’t; there were always wild thoughts in his head. Wild enough, hopefully, to give Will what he wanted.
For years, Mike had obsessed over Eleven, but lately they weren’t often together, and when they were they were solemn. It was a slim chance, yes, but once high school ended he would miss it maybe forever. He had to tell Mike how he felt about him, about what was embedded in his heart.
He might have given up, but around the time El first stopped attending school, about a week after Easter, Mike had given Will a lot more attention, and as much as Will appreciated her, he was glad she was out of the way. She’d never been quite right after returning from her time stuck in Dimension X, a period of months that she never, ever talked about. She wasn’t usually happy anymore, even though she tried to be. If Mike knew about her experience, he kept it to himself.
It was annoying, with summer and adulthood almost here, when Will and Mike and the rest of them should have been going to parties, or on camping trips, or having fun in the city. Instead they were grinding away at school and spending more and more time apart. Will wanted to make more good memories, but everyone was too busy or tired to do much. Lucas and Max were always together, and Mike was alone at home except when El was around, but at least he hung out with Will. He thought Mike acted his most normal when they were together alone.
The previous year, Nancy Wheeler had come home from college to visit, and gifted her brother, sister, and the rest of the gang with silver necklaces with a monogram pendant of the initials of each name, and while he didn’t see the other wearing them, Will nearly always did. He even went out and bought another one with an M on it and put the ends together sometimes when he was daydreaming. Holding the pendants helped him hold onto his courage that he would confess his true feelings to Mike.
It was complicated. If Mike and El were breaking up, neither told anyone, but he couldn’t let Mike leave Hawkins without telling him. If he said yes, they’d have the whole summer together, and if he said no, at least they wouldn’t have to see each other at school anymore. It ate at him, but whenever he was on the edge of losing his nerve he remembered Mike’s dramatic speech to El in the pizza shop; if Mike could say all that in front of him and Jonathan, Will could speak to Mike in private. And he had a good feeling Mike’s speech wasn’t all it was made out to be. He held his chest as he remembered Mike’s desperate words, “I love you for exactly who you are!”
He grabbed his pillow and squeezed it to him, hoping Mike’s words were really meant for him and not for her. Mike and El dated again after all the drama was over, but El just wasn’t the same. No one wanted to bring it up, but everyone knew, and now, at the end of senior year, when everyone was excited to graduate and start their real lives, she was even more different.
He couldn’t put his finger on it, only knew she was quiet and distant, and lately Mike was, too. It wasn’t really fair for El’s bad mood to drag Mike down. Will figured they were having major problems, and both were too embarrassed to admit it. Why would he, after his melodramatic speech to El. Maybe he loved her back then, maybe. But it didn’t seem that way now.
This was going to be his year. He was an adult now, officially, and his first goal was to finally tell Mike how he felt about him. He should have picked a university instead of a community college in Indianapolis, his decision in case his conversation with Mike went either way; not too close and not too far from Hawkins. How he was tormented not knowing Mike’s affections, only suspecting them over time. If Will was too anxious to come out and admit his feelings for another boy, Mike was probably more so.
He was so cute. Will had counted every freckle on his face more times than he could remember. No one knew, but often he would draw Mike’s face at home when he longed for him. He was pretty good at capturing his character on paper now.
Will went to Mike’s house most days after school and every Saturday now, without always asking, but Mike never protested. He probably wanted to spend as much alone time with Will as Will did with him. Sometimes they talked or looked at comics, but mostly they studied together, or rather Mike studied, and Will reveled being with him without anyone else getting in the way.
The first Thursday in May, with his mom at work and the evening so warm and bright, Will biked to the Wheeler house to “study”. Neither of Mike’s parents seemed to be home, and, grinning, Will jumped up the stairs and threw open Mike’s bedroom door.
“Hey, I…”
Mike was sitting on the top of the covers off the edge of his bed, leaning down and stroking El’s hair while she looked to be sleeping under them.
“Can’t you learn to knock?” Mike cried, rising.
Will shut the door and stood back, too shocked to think. El wasn’t at the cabin. El was in Mike's bed. But they weren’t naked, and Mike was just sitting there. Maybe El really was sick. As he headed back down the stairs, he heard Mike’s door open, and he stood on the landing.
“Sorry,” Mike said. “I didn’t know you were coming over. Did you need something?”
Will’s lip trembled. “No, only homework.”
“Maybe tomorrow then.” Mike’s smile was warm again, and Will returned it.
Mike always had a way with him, and no matter how angry he got, or how nervous Will became, he always apologized. He had to bite the bullet and speak from his heart. He owed Mike that.
of course, it was easier said than done. Every time he pictured Mike now, he saw El snuggled under the blankets, and he clenched his teeth. El was kind of his sister, and she was nice and rather pathetic in her own way, but she was still a thorn in his attempts to get Mike to want him instead. Mike had to know what was going on. He was like everyone else, conditioned to not see it or feel it so it might go away. Will had tried that too, to no avail.
El still didn’t come back to school, and his resentment grew; Mike was still preoccupied with her. Jonathan was home already for the summer and helped their mom take care of the house, and Will unloaded on him one weekend.
“Hey.”
Jonathan was cooking dinner. “Hey.”
“Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure.” Jonathan closed the oven and took off the hot mitt. “What’s up?”
“I, uh, have been thinking about maybe talking to Mike.” He could feel his stomach squeeze as he said each word.
“About what?”
“You know.”
It took him a moment, but his brother caught on. “Oh, yeah.”
Will glanced at him. “You think it’s stupid.”
“I don’t think it’s stupid. Why would it be stupid?”
“Maybe I shouldn’t say anything.”
“It’s up to you. But what about Eleven?”
“I don’t know, they don’t seem to be doing well right now.”
“Did they break up?”
“I don’t know, no one will tell me. If they’re not broken up yet, I think they will be soon.”
Jonathan pondered it. “Well, if they are over, what have you got to lose?”
“My friend. My best friend. I don't know what to do.”
“I don’t know either, but you’ll probably never rest easy if you don’t tell him. Just know there’s a big chance he’s not going to be interested.”
“Yeah.” An almost impossible chance. He hoped. Maybe Mike still liked El now, but he and Mike had been close friends for twelve years, something El couldn’t win against him this time. She was unique and interesting, but she didn’t have the kind of history he and Mike did. Her novelty had to wear off at some point, and Will was fairly confident it was happening now. Probably Mike had invited El to his place so they could have a serious talk, maybe break up, and they had cried until El fell asleep.
Whether Eleven were really ill or not, Mike didn’t look right. His mind was elsewhere, he was quiet, and often his brow was furrowed unless someone spoke to him.
“He might say yes,” Will said. “I think sometimes he needs a push like I did.”
Jonathan cocked an eyebrow. “You really think he might be into you?” Will made a face at his surprise, but Jonathan clarified, “I just don’t know if I’ve seen him interested in guys before.”
“You didn’t know I was until I was in high school.”
“Yeah.” Jonathan nodded. “But I suspected you did. I think you should talk to him about it. However you want to say it is best left to you.”
That was the hardest part, trying to sum up the courage and words to say exactly what he needed to say without it backfiring on him. He wanted to be honest with Mike, but not scare him. And either way, he didn't want to lose him as a friend.
The prom grew ever nearer, and Will continued arguing with himself about when and how to tell Mike how he felt about him, and knowing Mike was none the wiser made him feel almost like a Peeping Tom. Mike went about his days at school as usual, if depressed, making small talk with him and others, doing schoolwork, running in P.E., and eating lunch. Nothing in his countenance gave away an idea he knew what Will was trying so hard to say to him, and it made Will’s heart flutter in his chest.
It was a beautiful spring afternoon, the best he could remember, when he saw Mike heading toward the student parking lot alone after school, head down, and he hurried to catch up with him.
“You okay?” he asked, and Mike looked up, startled.
“Yeah.”
“Really? You still look like something’s wrong.”
Mike didn’t look at him. “It’s not.”
“But you know you could tell me if you wanted to.”
“Yep.”
Luckily Lucas and Dustin arrived in the parking lot, breaking the tension between them.
“Can you believe I’m getting a B in science?” Dustin cried. “Me. A B. Mr. Schaeffer is a pain in the ass; he’s been a pain in the ass all year!”
“No one gets an A in his class,” said Lucas.
“I do,” Mike said, to the contemptuous looks of his friends.
“Because you’re smart and you always do all the piles of homework he gives,” Will said, and gulped when everyone looked at him.
“I’m smart,” Dustin said after a sharp pause.
“Yeah,” Will began, but Mike saved him.
“You don’t do the homework, that’s why,” Mike said.
“I do too,” said Dustin, "sometimes. Most of it's redundant nonsense!”
Mike shrugged. “That’s what he grades besides the tests.”
“Doesn’t he know I’m going to Caltech?”
“Not with a B in science,” Lucas said, then laughed at Dustin’s outrage and ran off to his car, Dustin chasing after him.
Mike watched them, in Will’s opinion wistfully, and Will stared at him, the soft yellow light of the sun framing his dark hair. He felt a surge of emotion and had to look away. He hadn’t felt this self-conscious around Mike in years. Eleven had taken Mike further away from him, but now he was back because Eleven was gone, or was about to be.
“Is El okay? I haven’t seen her all week.”
“She’s not feeling good.”
“Sick?”
“She’ll probably be back next week.”
Next week was four days away. They only had a few months left before they were all parting ways to go to college.
“I hope so,” Will said, to fill the silence. “I hope that’s all that’s wrong.”
“Why, what else would be wrong?” Mike had that vulture look to him again, whenever anyone fished about El’s absence.
“I don’t know.” Will shrugged. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. I’m going to see her now. Do you want to tag along?”
Maybe Mike meant well, but Will couldn’t tell if he really did or not. “No, it’s fine.”
“Later.” Mike took his keys from his pocket and tossed them in the air, catching them, then walked away.
-
Senior prom was nineteen, then twelve, and now eight days away, and Will couldn't shake his dare to dream he might actually attend it with Mike. El had returned to school once again a few days earlier, and though she’d spent all her free time with Mike, neither looked very happy.
They had to be over. Mike was too nice a person to dump El and ignore her, so he was trying to ease the blow. Will knew El retained her powers, though he hadn’t seen her use them since her return to the Rightside Up. He should have tried to talk to her more; she might have opened up to him. But there was a part of him, however slight, that was disappointed she came back. He felt horrible for thinking it, but it would have been so much easier to get together with Mike without her around.
Then, just as before, El was absent yet again, and Will, annoyed, didn’t ask about her. It could finally be his chance to show himself and at last get something he wanted. He had sacrificed so much and never got anything to show for it, and Mike could be that. All Mike needed was a little encouragement and a safe space with him to open up and share his true feelings. Will had been patient all his life, but he couldn’t afford to be anymore.
Even if Mike weren’t gay, he was definitely bisexual. Maybe he didn’t even know it himself, but Will was astute and caught on to all the hints Mike had given him, and he would be the one to help Mike realize who he truly was. Eleven was like a circus animal, but not someone who understood Mike in his entirety. Eleven was chance, Will was fate. Even when Mike and El dated, all they ever did was make out, until they stopped doing even that.
El returned to school yet again without preamble, mostly keeping to herself, Mike, and Max, and Will wasn’t privy to the conversations they had. Will watched Mike and El at lunch. Even though they hugged a couple of times, neither looked happy at all, and he wanted to comfort Mike, if Mike would let him. He was always mysterious when it came to his feelings about other people, especially El. He claimed to love her, but they had been on rocky ground since she’d returned from the other dimension. He was too careful with her, so something had to be wrong. It must be hard for him to let her go and admit they were through, so maybe they were waiting until school ended to tell everyone.
Will hugged her when he saw her in their shared English class, and at least when she was with the others and not only Mike, she was more talkative. He knew all too well the pain of a broken heart, but also knew El was strong and would pull through. She had so much of the world she hadn’t experienced before, and he hoped she would make some money and get to travel and live her life freely, even without Mike. Anyway, El didn’t need him; she was independent despite her inability to live on her own, which was more to do with her lack of socialization and academic prowess than anything else. But Will needed Mike. They were like two peas in a pod, and neither could ever truly be happy without the other. He didn’t expect Mike to really want to go off to college in Maryland and be alone.
Then El left school the following day, just as suddenly, and Will was ready to burst with questions.
“El’s out again?” he asked Mike at lunch that day.
“Guess so.”
“How many times is this? Why?”
“Not feeling well.”
“Hey, is she, like, really sick or something? Is it serious?”
Mike shrugged. “No, not really serious. Just a lot right now.”
Will understood what Mike was too despondent to say, but he felt so boring, picking at his bland macaroni and cheese on his lunch tray. He had to be more interesting for Mike to notice him. “Hey, do you want to hang out tonight? At my place or yours, it doesn’t matter. We could go to the arcade like we used to and then pig out and rent movies.”
Mike smiled thinly. “Maybe. I’m kind of busy.”
“Oh, yeah, okay. Some other time, then.”
“Yeah, some other time.”
Will chugged the milk in his carton until it was empty. “What are you busy with?”
“Oh, stuff, you know.”
“Eleven?”
Mike stopped twirling his macaroni noodles with his fork. “Yeah, maybe. I have homework, too, and chores. Every day like the last.”
So that was it. Mike needed something to get him out of the doldrums. “Then why don’t you come to my place this weekend? Jonathan’s going to be in Chicago for the week, and my mom will be at Hop’s.” He couldn’t believe his mom and Jim Hopper were still together.
“It sounds fun, but I don’t know if I can do it this weekend.”
“Are you sure? It might be a good distraction.”
Mike nodded his head to one side, then the other. “Then yeah, okay.”
Will lit up like a Christmas tree. “Yeah?”
Mike’s smile melted him like it always did, his real smile, not the restrained one he’d been showing for the last month. “Yeah.”
Waiting for the weekend was torture, but Mike showed up on a Saturday afternoon as planned, and Will practically tripped over himself trying to keep him distracted and happy. He had snacks galore, five different movies rented from the video store, and a pile of comic books. Mike went through the motions of having fun, but there was no light in his eyes.
Will put a movie in the VCR, and when the movie started he kept his eyes on Mike. He had never felt closer to him than right now. He could almost kiss him if he turned his head the right way, but he was focused on the movie, so instead Will took note of his usual outfit, black pants and a blue shirt. Will had made sure to wear shorts and a yellow shirt for this visit. After the Russian code-breaking, he took it as a message from the universe about his love life, and now wore a lot of yellow, and sometimes, every now and then, he thought Mike felt the sign, too.
The part of the night he was most looking forward to involved the both of them in their pajamas, laughing and sharing secrets in sleeping bags on the bedroom floor, but when they were tucked in, Mike stared at the ceiling in the dim light of the bedside lamp, and when Will attempted to start a conversation with him, he answered with, “I’m sorry, Will, but I’m tired.”
Disgruntled by his failure, Will berated himself and Mike, in his head, for being so difficult. He knew Mike felt the same way as him, but he wasn’t taking the initiative to do something about it. Waiting all day for the end of school the next day was unbearable, but when it arrived, Mike was already gone, so Lucas found Will at the bike rack. Will couldn’t smile, and didn’t answer Lucas’ hello.
“What’s up your butt?” Lucas asked as they mounted their bikes.
“Nothing.”
“You only get this hammy when something’s bothering you.”
“Nothing’s wrong. I was thinking about going to the prom, that’s all.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I don’t know who with yet, okay?”
“I didn’t ask.”
“I guess Mike and El are going?”
“I guess.” Lucas glanced at him as they rode away.
Will paused. “Don’t you think something’s going on with them?”
“Mike and El? Why?”
“She doesn’t come to school anymore. She’s always at home.”
“She’s sick or something. I have a cold now too, and look, I had to ride my bike today.”
“And Mike isn’t with her all the time anymore. He’s quiet.”
“Okay.”
“Do…you think they might be breaking up?”
Lucas looked at him as if he had lobsters crawling out of his ears. “Breaking up? No way.”
“Then why are they so secretive?”
“I don’t know, man, but if they don’t want to talk about it, I’m not making them. Anyway, Max told me El was going to the prom.”
“Maybe she changed her mind.”
“Maybe. Why don’t you ask her? She’s your sister, right? Sort of.”
“She lives with Hopper.”
“Yeah, I know that, so why don’t you visit her?”
Will was quiet, wondering the same thing, but decided if El wasn’t making an effort to see him, he wouldn’t either. He didn't know why he felt so disgruntled. He’d learned to care for her and appreciate her, and she hadn’t really done him any wrong. Except for having Mike.
“I will,” he said.
That weekend, he drove to Hopper’s cabin, where El often stayed on her own; Hopper was usually at the Byers house with Joyce. But when Will arrived late Saturday morning, Hopper was there, and he seemed as disinterested about him visiting El as El was.
“She’s sleeping, I think,” Hopper told him. “You can knock, but don’t wake her up.”
El’s room was where it always was, and Hopper eyed him from the living room couch. Will knocked a couple of times to no answer, but when he opened the door she was sitting upright in bed. She looked surprised to see him, and he smiled sheepishly.
“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”
She looked tired and shook her head.
“We miss you at school,” he said, smiling in the hopes she would too.
“Sorry,” she said, and pulled up her dark blue blanket to her shoulders.
“Are you sick?”
El shrugged.
“Well, I hope you feel better anyway. You’re, um, going to the prom, right?”
She regarded him, silent, her face serious.
“No?”
“I think so,” she said.
“With Mike?”
“Do you want something?”
“Me? Uh, no. I wanted to see how you were.”
“Okay.”
He felt so awkward he smiled and excused himself with a comment about letting her rest and got out of the house as fast as possible. Something in that house was not right, and he wanted to shake the bad energy off him as he got back into the car.
It was cool for a May day, but he didn’t feel it, unable to shake his giddiness when El didn’t answer about attending the dance with Mike. That was a good sign. Whatever was wrong with El for sure had something to do with Mike, which was why he was acting so out of it. They must have had a fight, even bigger than the one before El was arrested a few years earlier. He remembered it because of what Mike had said to her afterward, when she was dying. How Mike’s words haunted him! They were Will’s, after all.
He knew Mike was afraid of anything that made him be honest about how he felt about something, especially other people. It had bothered him for years. Well, he was through waffling. Mike was back at school without El, and the dance was two days away, probably for good, and his whole future- their whole future- was right at their fingertips. They were practically grown up, and his feelings were different now. Mike’s feelings were different too.
Meeting up at the student parking lot after school each day was the best time for Will to be with Mike and speak freely; everyone else was rushing to leave campus, and Dustin and Lucas usually carpooled and didn’t hang around for long. Mike didn’t loiter, but he wasn;t in any rush, and with the dance imminent, Will made his move. He had to start nonchalantly.
“Long day,” he said, and Mike nodded. “Going home?”
“Yeah, I’ve got homework.”
“Me, too.” Will cleared his throat. “I can’t believe we’re almost done with high school, can you?”
“Not really.”
“Will you miss it?”
“No.” Mike finally looked at him. “You?”
“Me and school? Yeah, right.”
“But you’re going to college.”
“Yeah, but college is different from high school. People are there to learn and have parties, not pick on people. Not as much as high school, anyway.”
“We hope so.”
Will was ready to broach the subject of the dance, but to his amazement Mike brought it up first.
“Are you going to the prom?”
It took true strength for Will to keep from jumping into the air, and instead he plastered a stupid smile on his face. “Yeah. I was thinking about it.”
“Cool. Do you have someone you’re taking?”
Will’s heart pounded. “I- I don’t know. Maybe.”
Mike grinned. “That’s great. Have you asked her?”
Bless him, Will thought, still trying to keep his hands to himself. “No.” He was blushing now, surely. “Not yet.”
“Well, you’d better ask her soon.”
“Yeah.” His face was hot now. Mike’s smile lingered, and Will could have kissed him. Mike’s lips were always so kissable, but he stopped smiling and said, “Hey, I’d better get home. See you,” and left. Will stayed put, wondering if a tornado had just blown through, but it was only adrenaline making his heart race.
He should have leaned in and kissed him. Maybe there was still time.
“Mike?”
“Yeah?”
Mike’s eyes were so dark and secret, and Will yearned to find out what those secrets were. “I’m really going to miss you. When we go our separate ways for school.”
“It’s okay, we still have all summer. And phones.”
“Yeah, but it won’t be the same. I don’t know if I can even leave Hawkins.”
“You’d better. It’s a dead end.”
“It’s not that, it’s just... being alone.”
“You won’t be alone.”
Mike looked like an angel, and Will held his breath and hugged him. He could tell Mike was surprised, but then he hugged him back.