Work Text:
The air smells of tea and pastries as the teachers gather in the lounge before the morning’s ridiculously early staff meeting. The only upside—Kanae brought her fancy tea from home, and Mitsuri, sweet as ever, brought a basket of her well-known homemade croissants for everyone to share.
The table is cluttered with mismatched mugs, honey packets, and a few crumpled packets of sugar. Mindless chatter fills the room—simple conversation about classes, complaints about how early it is, plans for after work—until Giyuu opens his mouth.
“Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?”
A mixture of shock, disbelief, and mild horror ripples through the room.
Sanemi chokes on his croissant, barely sputtering out, “Y-you were putting it in cold water?!”
Next to him, Obanai slams his mug down a little too hard, eyes narrowing dangerously. “Giyuu. Answer the question. Giyuu.”
Giyuu blinks at him, unbothered, and takes another calm sip of his tea. “Yeah? I thought for like five years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I didn’t realize there was an actual reason.”
Another beat of horrified silence stretches out.
“I’m with Giyuu,” Tengen cuts in, lounging back in his chair with a lazy grin. “You think I have the patience to boil water?”
Across the table, Kyojuro nearly drops his croissant. “You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?”
Tengen blinks, then suddenly he’s sitting up straight to focus all of his attention on Kyojuro. “Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?”
“Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?” Kyojuro shoots back, echoing Tengen’s earlier remark.
Tengen stares at him, utterly baffled. “It takes less than a minute.”
Kyojuro stares right back, equally baffled. “Bestie, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun?”
“How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?” Tengen demands, voice pitching up with disbelief.
“Like seven minutes.”
Tengen groans, throwing his head back. “Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like two minutes,” he explains, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “Less than that if you use a saucepan.”
“You’re putting the whole mug on the stove?! On medium heat??” Kyojuro exclaims, his voice rising with each word. “Your stove is enchanted.”
Kanae slumps forward, forehead thudding against the table as she mutters, “Every single person in this place is a fucking lunatic.”
“Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!” Mitsuri wails, looking like she might burst into tears at any second.
The room explodes into chaos.