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Buck slumped against the firetruck. It was just him. Hen was recovering and was on oxygen, Chimney was quarantined, Ravi was with Karen still, Bobby was, well, you know, and Eddie wasn't even there.
So out of the core of the 118, he was alone.
But then Tommy came over, sympathetic look on his face.
Tommy reached out a hand, it landing on his shoulder. Somewhere distantly, it reminded Buck of Eddie. And somewhere even further away, he wished it was Eddie.
Tommy sighed. “I'm sorry, Evan…”
And, to be honest, it made Buck mad. The fact he thought he was part of this, the way he called him that. Everything about it made him absolutely pissed off.
But, alas, Buck shook his head, trying to hold back more tears. “I…”
No words could come out.
Buck couldn't even compute what was happening around him. Everything was a blur, nothing to ground him.
Until a thought crossed his mind..
Someone needs to tell Eddie.
So he looked at Tommy, something sure in his eyes. There were tears, but he knew somebody had to do it. “I need to call Eddie.”
“Why?”
“Are you seriously asking that? He’s part of the 118 too! He might be across the country, but he was captained by Bobby longer than you ever were. We’re a tight-knit group, you even said it yourself. They really care about each other, you know? They saw each other in the other. So yeah, I need to tell Eddie.” At some point Buck’s voice cracked, but it didn’t click in his head.
“Yeah, but I’m sure someone will.”
Buck shook his head. “You don’t get it, do you?”
The silence said it all.
“It will be easiest coming from me, I hope.”
And Tommy needed to bite his tongue. He wanted to make some remarks about the two of them. But he knew it wasn’t the place nor the time. And he also knew he couldn’t come between them, no matter how hard he tried.
So he walked away, leaving Buck by himself.
He straightened his back, grabbing his phone out of his pocket. His second most recent contact was Eddie, so he pressed the call button.
It rang two times.
“Buck, Chris was just asking if—“
Eddie cut himself off after just one shuddering breath from Buck.
There was a beat of absolute nothingness. Eddie didn’t dare speak, and the words got stuck in Buck’s throat. But then a broken sound came out, and Eddie knew. He knew something was wrong. He knew something happened. He was just about to ask when Buck let out a string of sobs.
Buck slumped back against the truck again. He broke. “Eddie…”
Eddie wanted nothing more than to reach out and try and get a hold of Buck. But he couldn't. Because he was all the way across the country.
“Eddie… he’s dead.”
Oh no.
Eddie assumed it was either Bobby, Chim, or Ravi he was talking about. So he let in a deep breath, then let it out. He wanted to comfort Buck more than anything. But he needed to know for certain.
“Who?”
A beat.
“It’s…” Buck tried, but a sob followed. He breathed and tried again. “It’s Bobby. He’s dead. He— he sacrificed himself to save Chim.”
Eddie couldn’t say anything. He should’ve tried to comfort Buck before, because now it just feels wrong. Because what he’s feeling… it’s just as broken. And he can’t lie to Buck now, because it is not okay. None of this is okay. Something happened with Chimney he didn’t know about, and something happened to Bobby. None of it is fucking okay.
He waited until he couldn’t hear Buck’s sobs anymore. They were just sniffles.
“What happened?”
“Eddie, listen to me, I swear to you… I— I tried.” His voice was broken, and uneven. But that wasn’t the answer to the question Eddie asked.
“That wasn’t the question, Buck.”
“No, but I did. Me and Athena… we tried. I even called fucking Tommy to help us!”
“I know, okay? I know.” Eddie tried to keep his voice calm. Even, but not flat. “But I asked what happened.
“We were in this lab, fighting a fire, then there was this explosion— everyone got stuck. I was the only one not stuck. Turns out Chim didn’t have his helmet, it fell off. And there was a virus. There were two stages, and he reached the second one pretty damn quick. That was bleeding and organ failure. I don’t know the full story. I was with Athena, trying to find the woman who stole the cure she created. Maddie was the dispatcher, and she had to hear everything. I’m sure it’ll haunt her. Anyway, we needed a quick escape from somewhere, so I called Tommy to come pick us up in his helicopter. Athena thought we were still together. That’s not the point, but she did. We found the cure, and got it to Chimney. Me and Bobby were the last ones in the lab…”
Buck took a moment to compose himself.
“I… I watched him walk away. To where Chimney was. He locked himself in it, a glass door separating us. I watched him take his mask off. I saw his nose bleeding. He told me I’ll be okay, and that everyone will need me. He said he loves—loved me… and oh fuck, I didn’t say it back. I didn’t say it back, Eds.”
Sobs threatened to escape Buck’s throat. He still couldn’t believe the last hour of his life. Chimney almost died, Hen almost died, Ravi almost died, and Bobby… he did die. And none of it was fucking fine, none of it—
“Buck, breathe.”
Eddie’s words pierced through him. Why the fuck was him telling him to breathe? Eddie wasn’t okay either. And that, to be quite honest, made him lose his breath even more.
“Buck. Buck. Buck!”
Nothing was working, nothing at all.
“Evan.”
Okay, well that did.
Buck breathed in. Deeply. As deeply as he possibly could manage in that moment.
“I’m not going to tell you it’s all okay, or that it’s going to be, because it’s not. Not right now, and not sometime soon,” Buck heard Eddie’s voice tremble and crack slightly at the end. “I’m certainly not okay, you’re definitely not okay, everything is not okay. But, you need to calm down, okay? We can’t lose you too, because you forget how to breathe. Alright? So breathe. Slowly. Surely..”
And that’s what Buck tried to do. Sure, Eddie just told him everything mightn’t be okay, but he also told him to breathe. So he breathed.
He swallowed the lump in his throat away, and breathed out as deeply as he could. And he mustered up five words.
“When are you coming home?”
“Just let me and Chris pack some things.”