Work Text:
Penelope hadn't met him in person - Agent Alvez. He'd joined the team when they were already in the field, so she'd never had the chance. The team mentioned him occasionally in their phone calls, and she even heard his voice off-camera a couple times during video calls. Penelope hadn't really paid him much attention. The team often partnered up with other agents from other divisions and task forces, so it wasn't really new or noteworthy. Agent Alvez was just background noise. Until one day, when Penelope connected via video call to the team, and there, situated between Hotch and JJ, was a new face. Penelope's eyebrows shot up when she saw him, giving him a quick appraisal - defined jaw, thick hair, dark complexion, and biceps straining the arms of his t-shirt ever so slightly due to their definition. How come nobody had mentioned how attractive this agent-on-loan was?
“Well, hello,” Penelope said, her tone immediately slipping to a flirtatious tone hadn’t gotten a chance to dust off in a while. “Agent Alvez, I presume? Where have you been hiding?”
The man in question blinked and offered up a confused lop-sided smile, and she watched him exchange a look with JJ, who mouthed a ‘sorry’ at him.
“Uh, hi,” he replied, amused. “Garcia, right? The tech wizard who’s always saving the day? Nice to meet you.”
“Oh, my reputation precedes me, I see. It’s nice to meet you too, and the pleasure’s all mine, believe me,” Penelope purred.
The object of her attention was laughing, and if the video feed had been higher resolution, she thought she might have seen him blushing. Penelope was pleased to have surprised the handsome agent. Alvez opened his mouth as if to say something back, but he was cut off by the boss man.
“Garcia, focus,” Hotch said, mild annoyance lacing his voice, and after a split second of mentally cursing him out - followed by another split second of feeling guilty about it, because Hotch was always right, of course - Penelope slipped dutifully into work mode.
They were hunting yet another escaped bad guy, and they needed her technical prowess - as usual - which she provided easily. She set about her normal routine - gathered whatever info her team had and started digging in to find what they needed. Once Hotch had thanked her and asked her to call back ASAP with answers, Penelope took one last look at the handsome, borrowed Agent Alvez and gave him a quirk of her eyebrow as a personalized goodbye before ending the video call.
The tasks they needed her to complete were so standard, Penelope was able to dedicate only half her brain to the task while the other half lingered on thoughts of the cute fugitive hunter they'd been working with. She thought of the multiple phone calls in which she'd heard his voice, but had been deprived of knowing how attractive its owner was.
By the time she assembled everything the team needed to know a mere thirty minutes later, Penelope called JJ to report it. She should have called Hotch, she knew, but she needed to ask JJ a very important question.
“What’ve you got?” JJ asked by way of greeting when she answered her phone.
“We'll get to that,” Penelope said hurriedly. “First. How could you keep this from me?”
“Keep.. what from you?” JJ asked, confused.
“That Alvez is a certified hottie!” Penelope hissed. “What kind of friend keeps that beautiful visage off camera for weeks, out of my field of view and appreciation?”
JJ laughed on the other end. “I'm sorry Penelope, I guess I've just been distracted by doing my job. You know, the one where I catch serial killers?”
“Yes, yes, important crime-fighting work, blah blah blah,” Penelope huffed, waving her hand at the air dismissively. “But I've been cooped up back here alone at the BAU while you all are out traversing the countryside, and Derek's gone and he took with him his beautiful face and sculpted body, and here I find you've been holding on to this piece of eye candy without even telling me. A technical analyst has needs, Jareau.”
“Alright, I'm sorry,” JJ said, though Penelope could hear her smiling around the words. “I'll, uh, see what I can do about having him on more video calls. How’s that?”
“That's more like it,” Penelope grinned, pleased that JJ was willing to play along. The more urgent matter having been addressed, she segued back to the killer at hand.
***
It was another three days before Penelope had another video call with the team. In that time, Penelope read up on Agent Luke Alvez’s FBI personnel file. He was from New York, had a military background that was mostly redacted, and flitted around between a half dozen divisions in the bureau until he became a fugitive hunter - a somewhat mysterious past that Penelope decided had an aura of sexiness about it. She could have easily gotten into the military’s files to read the juicy stuff, but it was her personal policy not to snoop on someone who wasn't a potential suspect in some sort of crime, so she let it go. Despite the relative lack of information her search had yielded, it had only served to whet her appetite to see him again.
It was a crush, she knew it was a crush, but was there anything wrong with that? He hadn’t seemed put off by her flirting aside from being surprised that she'd done it, and in fact, she thought that maybe he was going to reciprocate before Hotch had cut in. With JJ’s promise to get him on a video call again, Penelope had decided she would test the waters a bit more aggressively.
So she was ready when her computer chimed to indicate an incoming video call. Penelope tapped a key on her keyboard to accept the call, and was rewarded with the view she’d been hoping to see: the handsome Agent Alvez, front and center. Not only front and center, he was alone.
“Hark, a new traveler seeks entrance to my mind palace in search of the answers to life, the universe, and everything,” Penelope said haughtily, though she couldn’t stop herself from grinning a little as she said it. “Pose your question, traveler.”
Alvez laughed, the sound warm even after being transmitted as 1s and 0s across a T1 line, making Penelope’s stomach flutter slightly. Handsome and he appreciated her sense of humor? This was going well already.
“Well, I already know the answer to life, the universe, and everything,” he said before leaning forward and whispering conspiratorially. “It’s 42.”
“You’ve read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” Penelope said, a tinge of wonder to her voice. “Good-looking and well-read? What are they putting in the water over in the fugitive task force?”
“Nothing half as good as what you’ve got at the BAU, if you’re anything to go by,” he replied, grinning. “Do they always keep you locked away in a dark room?”
“My powers are too awesome to be bestowed upon mere mortals,” Penelope said. She affected a long-suffering sigh to illustrate her pretend predicament. “It’s a safety measure. For the mortals like yourself.”
“I think I’d be up to the challenge,” Alvez said, and if Penelope had any questions about whether a lascivious look could be telegraphed over video chat, they were answered then and there. Penelope let a slow grin cross her face, enjoying the back and forth. Aggressive had been the right call - he’d responded, and responded well.
Before Penelope could come back with another flirtatious comment, JJ came into frame and plopped into the chair next to Alvez. “Sorry, I got held up,” she said. She looked at Penelope through the screen, a twinkle in her eye. She’d clearly overheard at least a small part of their exchange. “You two getting along okay?”
“Great,” Penelope said brightly. It was so rarely that someone was willing to be playful with her - and the fact that the man who was doing it was devastatingly handsome did not hurt one iota. She thought she would be able to get through the rest of her isolation from the team as long as she continued to get these opportunities to stretch her flirting muscles with the delightful Agent Alvez via video.
I owe JJ one, Penelope thought to herself, before switching gears as JJ startled rattling off case details she needed help with, with Alvez occasionally piped in with his own question or comment. Penelope worked her magic as always, and got her team what they needed. JJ and Alvez offered their thanks, and Penelope tilted her head in acknowledgement. When she looked up and met Alvez’s eyes, he gave her a smile that held a hint of mischief. It was a smile she was quickly coming to enjoy looking at very much.
***
The flirtatious video calls continued on with some regularity for a couple weeks. Penelope held no illusions that it would ever lead to anything - Alvez was one of those “lives for the chase” types; Penelope deduced it’s why he was a fugitive hunter. Also, the fact that he’d mentioned it more than once was a pretty big clue. He was on loan to the BAU for a short period, and once they’d caught all the bad guys, he would move on to some other state, and some other fugitive, and she’d never hear from him again. It was freeing, in a way, to know there were no strings attached to this flirtatious relationship they’d struck up. It was just a little bit of fun - and the both of them were having a lot of fun.
It was at the tail end of another such flirtatious conversation that Alvez asked a question that completely blindsided her.
“Who’s Derek?”
Penelope froze at the mention of her former work bestie out of Alvez’s mouth. “Where - where did you hear that name?”
“Oh, uh,” Alvez’s smile dropped from his face, realizing he’d stepped into something. “I overheard JJ, she.. she said I was ‘Garcia’s new Derek.’ I was just.. wondering what that meant.”
Penelope's blood ran cold as the meaning of what he’d said sank in.
Garcia’s new Derek.
How could she have let this happen? She’d let her guard down - she’d let someone else slide into Derek’s spot - all because he was a little easy on the eyes. She'd felt a certain nostalgia at the edges of her flirtations with Alvez but she hadn't given it much thought. She had just let herself be carried away with the flirtatious conversations. But his comment made her realize it - she was replacing Derek. Little by little, wink by wink, she was erasing him.
Penelope missed Derek, she missed him so much, more than she could ever even admit to herself. And she’d just - just replaced him. Her stomach twisted from her own betrayal. She was angry, furious at herself; she felt it bubbling up and gave it the only outlet she knew how: outwards. Towards somebody else. And the easiest target was this new guy, this - this - this Derek wannabe, who wasn't even sticking around anyway, so what did it matter?
“You are not the new Derek! You could never hope to measure up to him,” Penelope said harshly, the words tumbling out of her, as if a dam broke. “You - you’re - you're like the knockoff purse version of Derek Morgan. At first glance you're Gucci, but look at the tag, and you're just Guccy underneath it all.”
“Aren’t those the same thing?” Alvez asked.
“Yeah, sure, they sound the same, but one's the original spelled with an i and the other is a cheap copy spelled with a y, and no sense of style, and a complete lack of charm!” Penelope took a deep breath at the end of her outburst, her heart constricting. She’d been an idiot. She’d barely spared a thought for Derek for weeks, because she’d been so caught up flirting with this second-rate version of him. Derek wasn’t dead, but he was gone regardless, and she’d made herself a promise to always keep a candle burning in her heart for him. And she’d gone and snuffed it out with an Alvez-shaped candle snuffer.
Alvez looked surprised - with a hefty dose of confused - at Penelope’s quick turn. “O..kay? What did I - I guess I struck a nerve?”
“Hah, you wish your aim was good enough to strike anything! I'll call Hotch with that list of suspects once I narrow it down. Garcia, out!”
The last glance she took at his face before she shut off the camera almost made her feel bad - he looked utterly bewildered at the exchange that had just taken place. But, it was for the best, Penelope decided. She had to rip off the bandaid and make sure he knew his place in the order of things, which was so far down and below Derek Morgan that it was practically another scale altogether. Nobody could replace Derek, and it ate at her that for a short time, she forgot that. And what was he doing? Flirting with some stranger he barely knew over video call? This was as much his fault as hers, she decided. Maybe even more his fault. If he didn’t look like that, after all, this never would have happened.
Penelope resolved then and there to never again let anyone replace Derek for even a nanosecond. She decided to carve a spot in her heart meant only for Derek, that nobody else could touch, snuggled right up against the spots carved out for everyone else on the team - and Emily of course, even though she was in London. But there was no room for new additions! Besides, this Alvez character would be out of her life again soon enough - once they finished catching the escaped bad guys - and then she could just forget about the whole thing.
***
The next time they had a video call, Alvez was there again. Right in the middle of her screen, between JJ and Rossi. Looking his usual attractive self.. and annoying her simply by being there. Couldn’t he take a hint?
“Hello,” she said icily, her eyes sliding over him and going back and forth between Rossi and JJ. “How can I assist the team today?”
“What, no witty opener? No joke about being the gatekeeper to all human knowledge?” Alvez cut in before anyone else could reply. He had one of those patented dopey grins on his face that Penelope had found so charming. At first. It definitely wasn't still charming. Nope. Nooo. It couldn't be, because that ruined the plan - the plan to re-establish Derek's rightful spot in her heart. No room for dopey grins. Or toned arms. Or -
This was going to be hard. Commit, Garcia! She tightened her lips and leveled the coldest gaze she could muster at him. “That would be very unprofessional, Agent Alvez. Aren't people dying - possibly at this very moment - from these madmen that you're there to catch?”
Alvez huffed a humorless laugh and looked at JJ questioningly, while Rossi cleared his throat. JJ eyed Penelope in a concerned way, but she gauged the temperature of the conversation and jumped in to get to the point before things derailed further, rattling off a list of metrics for Penelope to research. The two of them along with Rossi went back and forth until they'd narrowed things down and gotten an address for a possible hiding spot for the subject of their current search. Alvez stayed quiet during the exchange, his gaze alternating between staring at the table in front of him, his fingers tapping the table in a rhythmless pattern, and the screen which showed Penelope’s stony face. At the end of the conversation, Alvez cut in.
“Thanks, Garcia,” he said, no small amount of warmth injected into the thanks. Penelope had picked up a few profiling skills of her own, and she knew what he was hoping for. He was hoping she’d throw him a bone - a smile, a cheery ‘you’re welcome’, something. Something to show she wasn’t suddenly as frosty on him as she was acting. Penelope almost caved as she looked at his face - an appeasing expression plastered there, Alvez wanting to right the wrong he’d done, even if he didn't fully understand it - through the grainy pixels of her screen.
She almost caved.
She had to stay strong. She thought about Derek, and how he’d be calling her babygirl right now, setting everything right in her world, her emotional barrier against every hurt that was out there trying to get her, and her heart lurched. Handsome fugitive hunters were nothing compared to that.
Penelope glared at Alvez again. “No thanks are needed. It's my job, something I take very seriously. Something a.. a newbie like yourself wouldn't get.”
She disconnected from the video call before he had a chance to reply.
***
“We got our guy,” JJ said as an opener to the next phone call with Penelope. “And we already have a new lead on the next one. We're heading out to Tempe, Arizona immediately. No time to stop back home.”
“Oh, you poor sweet things. Will you ever get a chance to sleep in your own beds again?” Penelope asked, genuinely upset.
Every week that passed with the team gone from home was another week that she would sadly close up the mostly darkened BAU by herself, just a few satellite agents milling about in the department but her team’s desks all standing still and empty, before shuffling home to spend another night with Sergio and her thoughts. Thoughts that until recently had been occupied by the handsome Agent Alvez, which she unfortunately had had to cut herself off from cold turkey. She’d tried texting Derek more, but he was busy with his new life in Chicago, and he wasn’t as responsive as she wished he could be. She understood, but it still hurt, and she just found herself mourning Derek’s absence over and over again. And every time she got sad about it, Alvez’s face would float across her mind’s eyes, and she’d turn her sadness into anger and aim it squarely at him. She couldn’t blame Derek for leaving, because every reason he had for doing it was valid. So all she could do was blame somebody else - the same somebody that had tempted her with flirtatious conversation.
She couldn’t wait until this was all over, she had her team back home, and Alvez was out of their lives.
“Hopefully we’ll be home soon. Penelope,” JJ said and paused before speaking again. “Hey, uh.. is everything okay?”
“Everything's fine,” Penelope said, sarcastically. “Just great! I haven't seen you in weeks except as a bunch of pixels on my screen, but it's great. I’m loving it.”
“The team misses you too,” JJ replied. “But I know that's not it. You were kind of mean to Luke.”
Penelope bristled and rolled her eyes. JJ was calling him Luke? Ugh. And she had hardly been mean. Short. Abrupt, perhaps. But not mean. “I was not!” she protested.
“I thought you liked him. It seemed like you two really hit it off.”
“That was before I remembered I'm a professional, and those conversations are not appropriate. Not a bit.”
JJ scoffed in disbelief, which Penelope chose to ignore.
“Wait,” JJ said suddenly, a realization hitting her. “Is this about Derek?”
“No!” Penelope said, her protestation coming out a bit louder than she had intended. “It's not about Derek. Not everything is about Derek! And - and by the way, nobody is my new Derek anyway, that’s just - hah! - that’s ridiculous.”
There was a groan from JJ. “Luke told you about that? Penelope, I didn't mean -”
“It doesn't matter,” Penelope said quickly, talking over JJ. Tears pricked at her eyes, and she looked up at the ceiling of her office, willing them to sink back down into her tear ducts. It did matter, but she wasn't going to admit that. She missed Derek. And she'd almost replaced him. She was a terrible friend. “Look, just - get your butts to Arizona and catch another bad guy. Okay?”
There was a sigh from JJ’s end. “I’m sorry, Penelope.”
“For what?” Penelope forced a laugh. “It’s nothing. Have fun in the desert!”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon.”
They ended their call and Penelope dropped her head to her desk, groaning to herself. She counted mentally - there were six fugitives left to catch. They were nearly done. Penelope picked her head up and straightened her back. She took a deep breath. It’s nearly over.
***
Agent Alvez - she had never worked her way up to calling him Luke, and at that point, she refused to call him Luke, no matter how much everyone else was calling him that - was, thankfully, not on another call, whether video or phone. Penelope got a little embarrassed about the whole situation if she let herself think about it too hard. She wasn’t sure how much the rest of the team knew, but Rossi had been calling her ‘kiddo’ more than he usually did, and JJ was the one fielding most of her calls, sparing her from Hotch’s no-nonsense demeanor. Which, normally, Penelope embraced, but at the moment, she was feeling a little emotionally raw and was glad for JJ’s continued friendly voice in her ear.
It was said friendly voice that called her one night with news.
“We caught another one!” JJ stated in an overly enthusiastic way the moment Penelope had answered the phone.
Penelope instantly narrowed her eyes, suspicion flaring. “JJ.. that is your ‘I’m pretending to be happy because I have bad news to deliver’ voice. What is it?”
“It’s not bad, per se..” JJ trailed off, then she sighed and let all pretense of good spirits drop. “Listen, we’ve got our sights on the next escaped serial killer, but the leads have dried up so we need to come back to DC to regroup. Most of us, anyway. Hotch and Tara are going to stay back.”
“What?” Penelope exclaimed. “But that’s good news! Great news, even! What’s bad about the team, even if it’s only 80% of you, coming home - wait. Wait a darn minute! No.”
Penelope could almost feel JJ wincing over the phone as she just hummed noncommittally.
“JJ, please don’t tell me what I think you’re about to tell me, because if you tell me that, I will lose it, I will quit, I will move to Timbuktu, I will become a sheep farmer - I don’t know if they farm sheep in Timbuktu but if not, I will be the first!”
“Alvez is coming with us,” JJ said, confirming all of Penelope’s fears in one short sentence. A mere seven syllables, and it was the worst news JJ could have possibly delivered.
“Nooooooo,” Penelope drew out the word until it just turned into a whine. “JJ, why?”
“Because we couldn’t have done this without his help,” JJ replied. “And the next one we need to catch is personal for Alvez. Kind of a one-that-got-away type of deal.”
Penelope sighed. She closed her eyes and repeated every calming mantra she could think of. None of them worked.
“Penelope, look, things were going great, and then I got my foot involved by sticking it in my big mouth -”
“No, JJ, your mouth is beautiful and perfect and did nothing wrong,” Penelope cut in. “It’s fine. I can be professional. I’ve been professional! Courteous and polite. Those are my second and third middle names.”
“Okay,” JJ replied, not really believing her. “Well, we’re heading back tonight.”
“Great!” Penelope said as brightly as she could muster, and the two said their goodbyes.
Penelope took her earpiece out and she was hit with a fresh batch of annoyance. She couldn’t even properly celebrate her family coming home because Agent Alvez would be there with his big, stupid, handsome, annoying, imposter face.
***
The first time Penelope met Agent Alvez - in person - was on the elevator. She’d been mentally preparing herself for seeing him since the moment JJ had broken the news, and all her attempts to tell herself to be civil, be nice, it wasn’t his fault that he was the saddest Derek impersonator she’d ever seen, flew out the window the second the elevator doors slid open and he was leaning with his arm up against the wall in a near-seductive manner, looking as attractive as he did.
Who waited for elevators like that?
Penelope did her best to keep her distance. Alvez asked her innocuous questions about her weekend and her personal life, and that just annoyed Penelope more. They weren’t going to be friends, that was for sure. She just had to continue to tolerate his presence until this next unsub was caught. But he was asking pestering questions, and lies flew out of her mouth before she even knew what she was saying in an attempt to get him to back off.
A boyfriend? Practicing the clarinet? Fingering techniques? Penelope knew it all sounded ridiculous, but she didn’t care. She told herself she was just doing what she needed to do to protect herself.
Thankfully, the elevator reached its destination quickly, and a well-timed text from Hotch gave her the out she needed, and off she went, leaving him in her dust.
Alvez shouted out a comment after her about how he’d made lasagna. She could hear something in his voice - amusement. While she knew he was confused about how hot and cold she’d been to him, he was apparently also finding it funny. Was he going to keep this up? This attempt to be friends? Asking her how her weekend went?
Penelope shouted back “I don’t care!”, both in response to his lasagna comment, and also a general attempt to let him know exactly where he stood with her.
I don’t care! she repeated to herself in a mantra as she stalked through the halls of the BAU.
I don’t care, she said as she burst into her office, double checking that the door locked behind her to keep out any potential unwanted on-loan fugitive hunters.
“I don’t care,” she muttered as she caught a glimpse of herself in the little mirror she kept at her desk to check her makeup throughout the day. Penelope held her own gaze in her reflection and sighed. She thought of Alvez’s confused attempts at friendliness in the elevator, and of his stupid, cute smile. It was even better in person - she’d known it would be.
She felt herself softening slightly. Could she keep this up in person? Why couldn’t he respond in kind, and be a jerk back? It would make it easier.
A chime sounded on her phone and she glanced at it. A message from Derek. She opened it up, and it was a photo of her godson. Penelope felt a wide smile erupt on her face as she took in his cheruby little cheeks and eyes that were squinty from laughing. Setting the phone down again, Penelope straightened.
“Thank you, chocolate thunder, for the reminder,” she said aloud as she pulled up the information from Hotch, shoving every last Alvez-related thought from her brain.
“Because I. Don’t. Care. About Luke Alvez.”