Archive of Our Own

"You'll never be truly happy..."

"You're a burden..."

"The cloud of uncertainty shall always loom over you..."

A groan emitted out of Kit's mouth as he slowly opened his eyes and rose up. Darkness bathing the surroundings made it clear to him it was still the evening.

Another one. Yet another one.

Once more in the last few days, his slumber had been plagued by reoccurring nightmares; each with similar themes:

Inadequacy. Loneliness. Self-doubt. And haunting words spoken by a disembodied voice.

Of all those words spoken, it's those echoing about how he'll never be truly happy which cut the most deep. They were the newest set of words reoccurring in those dreams in recent nights; words only made worse by the voice that uttered them.

A voice that unmistakably belonged to...him. The one who more or less brought both the fennec as well as Surge into the forms they are now, but at the cost of immense physical, mental and emotional pain.

Speaking of the tenrec – easily his closest friend and who he's long seen as like a big sister to him – it had been on his mind to bring these nightmares up with her. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he talked to her about that sort of thing and she did tell him that no matter whether or not she may be the best at talking about deep or personal matters, she emphasized that he should be comfortable in discussing anything with her which is troubling him.

That conversation about previous nightmares was majorly important to Kit. It marked a major breakthrough in furthering trust and cementing a deepening bond between himself and Surge.

Additionally, these more recent nightmares had similarities to one Surge had also previously had and mentioned in that aforementioned talk they engaged in; chiefly the connection of both featuring the late madman who put them through unimaginable levels of physical, mental and emotional torment felt to this day.

What did set Kit's nightmares in recent times apart though – especially now the one he had just woken up from – was that it made the fennec float a terrifying theory in his head; one that would elevate said madman to another level of evil if it had any merit to it. Because of all of that, it appeared he'd have every incentive in the world to talk with Surge about it.

But despite all of that, there was hesitation within Kit that'd been preventing him from talking about it all in this case. From hoping the nightmares would eventually fade away without further incident, to hoping his budding theory was completely wrong and to just a basic concern of not wanting Surge to start worrying about him too much, he sought to soldier through the ordeal in the hopes all will fade away on their own.

With a long sigh, he laid back down, closed his eyes and tried returning to slumber as best as he could.

By morning's rise, Kit ever so slowly took his time in opening his eyes. To put it mildly, he didn't exactly slept that much better considering the previous night's events and what weighed down on his mind as a result. It was the story of these last few days of his life in all frankness.

Yet nevertheless, he felt the need to keep pushing onward. To not seem weak or burdensome. To not let dreams that aren't real hinder his daily routines and activities.

As a groan emitted out of his mouth, he began sitting up from his bed.

"Finally up and at 'em, eh, Drippy?"

Turning his head in the direction of that voice, Kit saw Surge glancing over from where she was sitting on the couch.

"Before you say anything else, I wasn't saying that like I was waiting up on you with baited breath," she quickly followed up with. "Well, I kinda was since I gotta get going soon, but I ain't exactly in a hurry either."

Even with that clarification, the fennec still felt an urge to get up pronto. He rubbed his eyes and attempted to get out of bed in a haste.

In doing so though, his foot got caught on the blanket and he careened face first onto the floor. That sudden calamity prompted Surge to stand up and come over to his side.

"Woah, you were a little too quick on the draw there," she said with a mild stifled chuckle. "But that said, you all right?"

"Y-yeah..." Kit said wearily as he pushed himself up to his feet gradually. "S-sorry for k-keeping you waiting..."

"Kit, no worries, I have the time," Surge told him before patting his head. "I could've headed out sooner and left like a note or something beforehand, but my day wouldn't feel complete without giving a morning howdy-do to my best little buddy."

Despite whatever else he was internally struggling with, that brought a little smile to Kit's face which was matched by a grin from Surge's end of things as well.

"Well, uh, anyway...w-what is it you have to go to?" He wondered.

"I thought I already told you yesterday...or did I? I dunno, I don't entirely remember..." Surge said, taking a pause to think it over and then shrugging. "Eh, anyway, it's supposed to be some meeting about a special assignment or what have you."

"Is that so? But if it's something important, I guess I wouldn't have minded had you needed to get going as soon as possible," Kit said. "You'd might be making whoever else is there kind of antsy if you're at all late."

Surge laughed. "Well, so be it, 'cause they're gonna have to be patient then. I'll keep them waiting up as long as I need to until I have even the briefest morning chat with ya."

Kit couldn't help but laugh slightly as well. "Oh, uh...I-I appreciate that. So anyway...did you get anything for breakfast yet?"

"Yep, grabbed a quick bite or two before you woke up, so I got that covered." Surge noted while folding her arms.

"Oh, good," Kit said. "Well, if that's the case and if you need to get going now, then I guess I'll handle things from here."

"Attaboy!" Surge proudly said, ruffling around the fennec's hair. "Then I'll see ya when I get back!"

With that, she turned around and began heading for the front door.

But right as she was about to grab on to the doorknob, she heard the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps before looking back over again to see Kit wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"Woah, what's up? Surge asked him in surprise. "Not that I'm complaining mind, but...felt like there was a little extra 'oomph' to it than I would've expected."

"Uh, just...j-just..." Kit tried saying before sighing. "I just needed this is all."

The choice of the word "needed" in this case did admittedly raise a little concern within Surge. She kind of felt like asking what could've spurred on Kit in saying that, but another side of her thought she may be making a bigger deal out of it than necessary.

Regardless, she smiled before turning around to fully face him and returned the hug.

"Sure thing," she said softly. "Anything for you."

They held each other in the embrace for a few more seconds until Surge was the first one to let go. It took a couple additional seconds before Kit would also relinquish his hold.

"All righty, gotta go and clock in that punch," Surge said confidently. "And maybe I'll get to punch a few no-goodniks if I'm lucky enough afterwards."

Kit tilted his head in confusion. "Uh, all right, but...isn't that first thing you said supposed to go something like 'punch that clock'?"

"Does it? Eh, I dunno, but I'd wager a guess that you're probably right," Surge conceded while shrugging. "Anyhoo, I'll see ya later, Drippy."

"You too, ma'am." Kit said, a tiny smile forming on his face.

Surge smiled once more, gave Kit a brief pat on his shoulder and finally went on her way.

No sooner did she leave did the smile on the fennec's face almost immediately evaporate and then followed that up with a sigh. He felt guilty over not bringing up his recent dream-induced struggles, but yet again a combination of electing to trudge though on his own plus not wanting to wreck Surge's plans for the day is what ultimately held him back.

Regardless, sitting around and stewing over things wasn't going to do him any favours and he figured keeping himself busy would help clear his mind plus boost his spirits to a degree.

With that, Kit went through his morning routine of getting himself ready and spiffed out. Then afterwards, he had himself a bowl of cereal for breakfast, put on his Hydro Pack and then opted to headed out for his own endeavours of the day.

The Restoration's machine shop was one of the few places Kit felt comfortable being around outside of him and Surge's room. Furthermore, it was perhaps the only place he would willingly venture out to frequently enough without either following the tenrec or otherwise having her be within his presence.

Right now, he was assisting Belle with disassembling and figuring out what had happened to a wayward badnik which had been rendered mysteriously mangled on the outskirts of town.

"Oh gears and starters, this is quite the mess," she said, shaking her head. "With the way this guy's looking, you'd think whoever assembled him did so with such carelessness and was trying to intentionally make him feel miserable by design."

The very millisecond those words entered Kit's ears, his mind ground to a halt and he felt a rush of anxiety go throughout his body.

"You'll never be truly happy..."

There it was again. Those chilling words which haunted him in those nightmares now flooding back to his memory; triggered by accident through Belle's words.

From there, it was like most of his surroundings were drowned out and replaced by those words entering his eardrums. This combined with a lightheaded feeling was making it difficult for him to focus.

"Kit? Kit!"

Eventually though, he came back to his senses as heard his name being called and felt his shoulder being gently squeezed by Belle.

"Hey, you all right?" She asked him concernedly.

"Huh, w-what?" Kit muttered, shaking his head a little to straighten himself out and then looking over at the robot girl's direction. "Y-yeah, I'm fine..."

"You sure?" Belle followed up with.

Kit nodded slowly. "Yeah, just kinda zoned out for a bit is all."

Despite any rising worries she made have developed, Belle put them to the side, let Kit be and carried on with the task at hand.

Throughout the rest of his time at the shop, Kit kept on soldiering through regardless of his inner turmoils. He hated having to present a strong enough demeanour to everyone around him despite feeling the opposite, but yet still he didn't want to burden them with his troubles nor make them overly worried about him.

By the time he was able to leave, he did feel a sense of relief. However, it was still overwhelmed by the domineering feelings of dread, anxiety and self-loathing which gripped him in the past several days.

He felt his head bordering on pulsating as those sinister words kept echoing within and making the lightheaded sensation return.

"You'll never be truly happy."

Not only was it his own self-doubt about his own well-being which made him give any level of credence to those words, but they'd also been causing that terrifying theory he'd been mulling be reignited back to the forefront; one that Belle's earlier observation about the badnik had again inadvertently triggered this upswing on his anxiousness.

The sheer stress and anxiety was getting to the point where Kit was also feeling woozy and wobbly; making it a challenge to walk and maintain his footing.

He'd become so distracted by all of this that he yelped when he suddenly felt himself being grabbed and pulled over to the side.

"Hey, you okay, Kit?"

By the time he came to his senses, the fennec noticed he was now in a quieter area of the Restoration and with Tangle standing before him with a concerned look on her face.

"Huh? W-what? W-what do you mean?" Kit asked, almost acting like he unaware of what had just happened beforehand.

"You were like wobbling around in way as you were walking," Tangle explained. "You doing all right?"

"Y-yeah..." Kit said simply.

"You sure about that?" Tangle reemphasized.

"Yes, I'm fine!" Kit reiterated, this time with more audible frustration.

Not in the mood for any discussion with the lemur, he tried to leave. But whether it was due to still feeling woozy, how suddenly he attempted to leave or a combination of both, he yelped as he began tripping over his own feet. He would've likely fallen to the ground had Tangle not quickly reached out and grabbed a hold of him just in the nick of time.

"Whoa, you almost took a nasty spill there." She said with a nervous laugh.

She pulled him back up and steadied him back into a vertical position.

"Seriously though, there's gotta be something going on here," Tangle said with some heightened concern. "You sick? Are you sad about something? Anything bothering you to the point you'd be distracted?

Kit let out an annoyed groan and turned away from her. "I told you I'm fine! Can you get that?"

Inwardly, the fennec knew his denials and attitude were hardly helping his case. Regardless, the fact that Tangle's third theory was all but right on the money.

Despite that though, he simply wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone else now; not out in public at least.

"All right, look..." Tangle began softly after a sigh of her own. "If you're not in the mood to say if anything's up, then can I at the very least help you back over to you and Surge's room?"

Kit turned back around and tilted his head upon hearing that. "Why? I can make it back on my own."

"I know, I know, I'm not trying to say you're not capable of doing it," Tangle tried in explaining. "Maybe it's just...I guess want to be sure you'll make it back in one piece."

Right away though, the lemur's face scrunched up as she finished that sentence.

"Wait, no, that didn't necessarily come out right. I meant..."

"All right, I get it! Fine, you can accompany me back there if you must," Kit suddenly said exasperatedly and then took a deep shaky breath. "But just as long as you keep it at that."

Tangle paused, then she nodded. "Sure, of course."

Having agreed to that, Kit another deep breath and steadily began walking while doing what he could to block out any of the invasive thoughts or words which had been tormenting him. At the same time, Tangle followed along from behind; giving him enough space while still being close by enough just in case she needed to spring into action for him.

Eventually, they arrived at the entrance to the room.

"I dunno if she's also home or not, so..." Tangle said, raising her hand like she was going to knock on the door to check.

"No, I don't believe she would be yet..." Kit said, reaching out to unlock the door and grabbing a hold of the doorknob.

Before opening it though, he sighed and gave the lemur a brief regretful glance.

"S-sorry...for getting a bit upset at you like I did," He told her. "I'm really just not in the mood now."

"Hey, no worries. I'm figuring you just need some space and I can get that," Tangle said with an understanding smile. "Hope you can feel a little bit better soon."

A tiny smile came across Kit's face when he heard that. Soon after, he opened the door and stepped back into his room.

The very second after he closed the door was when that smile faded back to a frown. He also let out a tiny whimper. Again, the fact he had such hesitancy to bring up his troubles to anybody was as painful on the inside as said troubles.

Once more, that feeling of wobbliness induced by it all was hitting him. If anything else, he made a steady yet brisk pace to his bed, put his Hydro Pack to the side on the floor and laid down. That just by itself gave him some amount of relief as he long, shaky and strained deep breath.

Meanwhile, Tangle stood by the other side of the door and sighed sadly. She wished that could've done a little bit more to help out Kit more if he had been willing to accept it, but she also wanted to respect his boundaries and as she already said give him that space.

However, given that Surge wasn't also home at the time, she wondered if the tenrec was at all aware of Kit being in a down mood.

In that moment, Tangle had made up her mind. She didn't see any harm in finding Surge herself and letting the tenrec know what's up just in case.

Because even if she may not know Kit that well personally, but at the very least if there was anyone she figured that he'd be more willing to open up to, it'd certainly be Surge.

"Well, that was a fuckin' waste of time..."

That was what Surge grumbled to herself as she was on her way back over to her and Kit's room from the assignment meeting she had tagged along for. She had thought going into it that things would lead towards heading off somewhere to be thrashing some baddies and soaking in the adulation of any surrounding onlookers.

But what she got herself into instead was a boring presentation on working as a team and other tacky dross like something lifted out of a sensitivity training seminar that's hardly up her alley. She would've tried leaving it if actually given the option, yet ultimately she reluctantly trudged through until the end.

At least after it was over she took some time in taking a run through some back country to release some of the pent up energy she had within. Now she looked forward to simply kicking back and chilling out; presumably alongside Kit figuring he'd be back there as well by the time she'd arrive.

"Oh, there you are, Surge!"

The tenrec looked up and she saw Tangle running up towards her much to the former's surprise mixed in with a hint of annoyance.

"Huh? Whaddaya want?" Surge wondered tersely. "And whatever you gotta say, it better be quick 'cause I really ain't in the mood for much in the way of chit-chat."

"Sure, sure, of course," Tangle answered after taking a moment to catch her breath from running. "All I wanted to run by you is that you should probably go check on Kit when you get the chance."

"Wait...why? What do mean by that?" Surge inquired further, feeling both confused and a slight bit concerned.

"All right, so...I bumped into him a little earlier on and he just seemed...off to say the least." Tangle said, coming off more anxious.

Surge raised an eyebrow. "Off? The hell do you mean by 'off'?"

"Well, I found him walking around in a haphazard and wobbly manner," Tangle explained a bit more, even demonstrating the movements she saw. "So I pulled him aside and I asked what was going on, but he just refused to really say anything other than he's fine and wanted some space."

The tenrec's confusion and concern only rose upon hearing that.

"Uh, well...where is he now?" Surge asked.

"He's over at you guys' room," Tangle promptly answered. "I accompanied him back there just to be sure he'd make it there safely which was all he wanted me to do."

Having still trying to process all she's been told, Surge ran her hands down her face and sighed.

"Uh...I know this will sound odd, but...I'm kinda surprised you'd go out of your way to track me down and tell me this," she said. "Not that I'm downplaying it or anything like that, but...you must think it's that bad, huh?"

"Yeah, I did figure it was urgent enough to tell you and give a heads up just in case," Tangle said sincerely. "And I do worry about whatever is going on with him."

"Yeah, so do I." Another voice chimed in.

Both Surge and Tangle looked to the direction of that voice and saw Belle approaching them.

"S-sorry, I-I don't mean to intrude or eavesdrop, but I can vouch for Tangle here," she said as she looked to Surge. "And that's because I've also gotten worried about Kit through something I've seen regarding him."

"Huh? You too? Well, uh...what happened on your end?" Surge asked.

"Well, we were checking out this broken up badnik over at the shop and one moment he just started zoning out on me," Belle explained. "It really was so sudden."

After saying that though, it appeared some realization had struck her in the moment.

"Actually, I say it was sudden and maybe I'm just reaching for more of an explanation here, but I feel like he went that way shortly after I made a comment about how the badnik looked so poorly mangled that it was made to be sad."

Admittedly, not a whole lot of that explanation from Belle had just said made a ton of sense to Surge. But that was irrelevant compared to her growing concerns with regards to Kit.

"Man...well, whatever is going on...I feel kinda dumb for not noticing anything wrong sooner." Surge said.

However, after taking a couple of seconds to think it over, something did actually occur to her.

"But y'know, now that I think about it more...something does actually stick out to me," she continued. "Just before I headed on out today, he ran up and hugged particularly tight. I wondered what was up and all he said was he just needed that."

She folded her arms and frowned.

"I didn't think there would be much to it at the time when he said that, but now after hearing all of this? Like...again, have I just missed something wrong with him?"

She paused for a few seconds and sighed deeply.

"All right, I'll go over there and see what's up," Surge said afterwards. "I, uh...I guess I gotta say thanks for bringing all that up with me."

Not even a second passing after saying that before either Tangle or Belle could say anything else, she made a brisk pace off and about back to her and Kit's room.

"Shit...why does stuff keep happening to him while I'm away?" She muttered to herself along the way.

But of course sitting around wondering the how, why or if things would've panned out differently if she were there wouldn't accomplish much of anything. What truly mattered was getting over to the fennec's side, finding out what was going on and then go from there.

Just a couple more minutes was all it took for Surge to arrive back and sure enough, Kit was also there too.

Right away from her vantage point, she could see him laying in his bed facing away and appeared to be clutching at his pillow.

A frown formed on the tenrec's face and she sighed. Few things get to her, but one of those rare exceptions is that it never gets any easier to see or know about Kit being in any significant form of distress.

Not wanting to waste any more time, she approached him and took a seat by his side.

"Hey, Drippy..." Surge said to him softly.

Though he remained laying down, the fennec did peer his head around just enough to look at Surge.

"What's going on?" She asked plainly. "And don't give any guff saying there isn't anything wrong 'cause I do know something's up."

Kit remained still in the position he was in for a few seconds as looked away briefly.

"She told you, didn't she?" He wondered.

"I dunno if you're talking about either Tangle or Belle, but uh...I've actually heard from both of them that they've seen stuff goin' on with you." Surge affirmed.

When he heard that, Kit had feeling there was going to be little further choice for him. After a bit of hesitation, he sighed and rose up to a sitting position.

"So what's up, little man?" Surge asked in a more earnest tone. "Has something been gettin' you down?"

Kit paused, attempted to say something, then paused again before whimpering.

"I-it...it's...it's so stupid..." He eventually got out. "I shouldn't be worrying or burdening you about it."

"Well, hate to break it to ya, but it's a tad bit late since I am already worried about ya now," Surge said. "Plus, I doubt it's stupid if it's causing you to space out and get all wobbly like I was told."

Being reminded of that only made Kit feel more anxious. He fidgeted around in his seat, looked away and remained silent.

"Kit..." Surge stressed, reaching over and placing a hand on the fennec's shoulder. "C'mon, you know I hate to see ya looking or feeling all sad. Please tell me what's going on."

It was becoming all too harder for Kit to keep things together. Regardless of his own worries, he realized just how much more painful it'd be for him the longer he kept everything all bottled up.

"I...I..." He stuttered.

Surge leaned just a bit forward closer. "Hmm?"

"I...I-I...I..." He continued.

Upon looking closer at him, Surge also happened to notice tears beginning to form on the corner of his eyes; which only added to her own growing concerns.

"Kit...just-" She attempted in saying.

"I'm never going to be truly happy!" Kit suddenly blurted out.

Without any further hesitation, he burst into a series of sobs. Though utterly confused by what he meant by saying that and briefly taken off guard by how he suddenly he broke into tears, Surge nevertheless instinctively reached out and pulled Kit into her arms.

As she held Kit in a firm embrace and allowed him to pour his emotions out, it gave the tenrec the time to mull over any meaning regarding what he shouted just now. The hesitation for him to even get it out seconds ago plus the intensity of his cries made her believe he'd been bottling this up for a little while now.

Try as she might for a minute, nothing was immediately coming to Surge's mind as far as theories where concerned. Yet even if that may have been futile now, she instead chose to focus on consoling Kit enough until he felt comfortable in divulging into things further.

Finally, following several additional minutes of crying and occasional soothing gestures from Surge like running her hands down his ears and back, Kit seemed to have calmed down enough to have her pull away and look at him again.

"Okay, from the top, Kit...what do you mean by saying you're never gonna be truly happy?" She asked him after a sigh.

The fennec pulled back slightly further, let out a shaky breath of air and prepared himself in finally explaining things.

"I...I've...I've been having these nightmares recently..." He began with.

"Nightmares? Again?" She asked.

It was a revelation which struck Surge. As she knew all too well, this was far from the first time Kit had went through something like that and knowing the subject matter pertaining to those prior instances, she could only wonder what these ones were centred around and especially if they're the primary reason for the unusual behaviours which both Belle and Tangle said they witnessed.

"Y-yeah..." Kit answered after some hesitation.

"About what?" Surge inquired further.

Kit shifted around his seat a couple of times. "Uh...i-it's kinda hard to explain, but the best I can say is...t-there's darkness all over the place...and t-there's a voice that's t-taunting me with s-stuff like how I'm always gonna be a burden, something about a cloud of uncertainty always looming over me and...a-and just as I said a minute ago...that I'll never be truly happy..."

Surge tilted her head to the side. "A...voice? Like who's voice?"

"Um..." Kit uttered, taking another moment to pause. "His voice..."

"Yeah, I know, but who's voice though, Drippy?"

"No, no, it was his voice...as in...from him..."

For a second, Surge didn't have a clue what Kit meant by how he was phrasing things now. It was like the fennec couldn't bring himself to fully enunciate the individual's name out of sheer fear.

And then her eyes widened and it clicked in her head.

"Starline?" She inquired.

All Kit did in response was nod anxiously.

For Surge, it didn't necessarily surprise her and yet still hearing this nonetheless filled her with both a sense of sympathy for Kit, but also a degree of ire. Even all this time later and after his demise, the grip that man had on both them psychologically for the absolute hell he put them through still ran deep.

"All right, so you say you've been having them 'recently'. Would that mean they've been happening within these last few days?" Surge resumed inquiring.

Kit hesitantly nodded. "...Yeah."

"And as you said earlier, you didn't bring any of this up sooner because you didn't want to worry me too much about it?" She added.

"...Yes...a-and I'm s-sorry for not doing that..." Kit said apologetically. "Truth be told, I-I kinda wanted to tell you about it all this morning, but I-I guess the fact you had plans of your own made me reconsider because I...I-I didn't want to ruin your day or make you run late."

Surge sighed roughly. "Drippy, I wouldn't have given a damn about being late or if the day was 'ruined' as you put it if you'd told me what was going on. I mean, hell...as an aside, the thing I attend was a total fucking bore anyway, so honestly I would've preferred skipping it and had dealt with your troubles instead."

Now Kit was only feeling more guilty about putting off telling her for as long as he has.

"But seriously though, of course if something's gettin' ya down and ya wanna talk it over, then you should be able to do that no matter what's going on with me," Surge continued. "I figured we went over this before and again, if these dreams had been happening for several days and bothering you that much, you couldn't have just said something sooner?"

"I know, I know! I-I guess...I-I hoped they would just go away on their own..." Kit explained further in distress. "Plus...I suppose was trying so hard to be strong like you where stuff like that doesn't bother you as much."

The first line of reasoning was one that Surge would've expected. However, the second one did take her a bit off guard.

"Well, as much as I appreciate the thought of you thinking that, Drippy...I sure as shit wish that actually were the case..." She said, looking away and letting out a brief doubting grunt. "I still have the occasional bad dream about the fuckery he put us through or him taunting me and such. Just because I don't say or show it all the time doesn't mean it isn't happening nor am I no longer reeling from it."

She closed her eyes and sighed. At the same time, Kit felt a pang of guilt.

"I...I'm s-sorry...I-I didn't mean to put it like that..." He said filled with shame.

"No, I know, you weren't trying to downplay anything," Surge responded in a reassuring tone, then she looked at him again. "Just thought I make sure to remind you that you're far from alone in suffering from what we've gone through."

The tenrec further assured the fennec by giving him a brief pat on the head.

"Okay, now getting back on track, I do gotta ask you this: would you have any idea at all as to what's been causing these dreams or what's their meaning if any?" Surge asked him.

This was the part Kit was dreading the most. Not because of being worried over how Surge might react, but just simply the sheer fear of having to contemplate this theory he'd been developing throughout the day and now having to actually speak it out loud. But nevertheless, he hoped talking about it will help in alleviating things or even put it to rest outright.

"Well, um..." Kit began following a deep breath. "I-I don't really know how they started, but...I might have an i-idea as to why I've been hearing those words about never being truly happy...a-and it's one that does s-scare me..."

He paused and released another shuddered breath. As he took his time, Surge reached over and rubbed his back thinking it may give some extra encouragement.

"So...I-I've been thinking that...if...i-if he...he did anything to me which caused me to be constantly sad."

Kit observed Surge and noticed she looked kind of puzzled about what he had just said.

"Uh, well yeah, he put both of us through a lot of awful shit that's gonna still affect us for a long time to come," she said plainly. "Not that I'm downplaying it or disagreeing with you here, Drippy, but...it's not exactly anything new which I kinda thought was gonna be the case."

"O-of course, h-he did do awful stuff to us and I agree it's gonna stick with us," Kit said, turning away slightly. "B-but that's...not quite what I was getting at..."

"No?" Surge said with a raised eyebrow. "Well, what were you gettin' at then?"

Again, Kit hesitated for a moment more. He was almost tempted to say again how stupid this whole ordeal may be, but he knew Surge would discourage him from saying such things.

He had to get it out there. No matter how much merit this theory may hold, he hoped again talking it over would go a long way in making him feel better.

"I-I mean...I meant..." He stammered, his voice cracking a little as well. "I meant what if he did something inside of me where I'm like wired to literally be incapable of feeling happy for the long term? Like...I'll be sad no matter what?"

Surge sat there and tried to digest what Kit had laid out that explanation. At least at first, she assumed he was meaning that in a metaphorical sense of how traumatic events were for him that they affect him deeply on a psychological level of feeling sad.

But he emphasized it as if to suggest again he'd been wired in a manner that could've had him stuck in a state of perpetual sadness and maybe as a way to have him be kept in line. The more she thought about it, the more unnerved she felt.

Could that madman have actually even thought of something like that, let alone implement it?

It seemed too far-fetched to be a possibility, yet if there was any truth to it...

"As if I would've needed any more reasons to hate that son of a bitch..." She muttered bitterly under her breath after looking down, away and with a scowl on her face.

In addition to that, if he was capable of doing something like that to hardwire Kit's behaviour in such a way, it made her wonder if he could've done something similar to her behaviour as well. The chance of considering that hardly helped in her rising ire.

But she didn't know any of that for sure though and she simply wasn't in the mood right this moment to think it over any further. In the present time, she wanted to focus instead on doing what she could to assure him in whatever way.

She sighed to relieve some tension and place her hand on Kit's head.

"All right, look Kit...I ain't gonna sit here and tell ya if I have an idea of your theory being right or not," Surge began with, added a chuckle. "Hands up, I ain't no whiz on that sorta thing."

She took a few seconds to think it over, then she pulled her hand off of the fennec's head and grabbed on to one of his own.

"But even if – and I mean a big if – it turns out to be true, that he's done something to ya on the inside to make you feel sadder against your will...then we're not gonna let that stop us," Surge continued, bearing a steely and determined look on her face. "He doesn't control us anymore. Not now, not after death, not in our dreams, not ever again in any way. We're in control of our own lives and I'll be damned if he or anyone else tries to screw with us otherwise."

Next, she softened her expression and placed both her hands on his shoulders.

"No matter what, we're gonna get you through this and anything else after that...because you're worth it."

"I...I-I am?" Kit said hesitantly.

"You bet you are." Surge repeated.

"But...why?" Kit wondered almost helplessly. "Am I-I really worth it though? And f-for what reason?"

Those questions took Surge a little off guard. She'd give thought to presenting a long-winded answer to them, but choose not to. Instead, she smiled warmly, brought the fennec back into her arms and came up with a shorter yet altogether true answer from the heart.

It had been something she'd been meaning to say to him and now seemed to be as apropos a time as any to get it out there.

"Because I love you, Kit." She simply said.

Kit's eyes grew wide and he audibly gasped. "W-what?"

"You heard me, I love you," Surge repeated. "I don't call you my best little buddy and like a little brother to me for nothin'."

However, she felt something was somewhat off in what she said. She gave it a brief second of thought, bore a more determined look on her face and held Kit close to her just that bit more firmer.

"No, better yet, you are my little brother," She rephrased more emphatically. "There's no mere 'like' about it. You're my little brother who I do love and who I may add with certainty is not a burden."

The fennec couldn't believe what he was hearing. Words couldn't exactly articulate how he feeling and in lieu of that, he simply broke down into tears once again.

As he cried, Kit felt a whole range of emotions: continual anxiety over his recent nightmares; guilt over how needlessly worried about worrying Surge he made himself and shame for how long it took him to finally get out there all he'd been through within these past few days.

But beyond that, there was an overriding sensation of relief and gratitude with regards to Surge's commitment to helping him through everything and especially with respect to hearing that she loved him.

If she definitively in this moment loved him as her brother, then for sure he also loved her as his sister. Admist the sadness of everything else, it all did fill him with enough hopefulness and he did eventually return the favour in hugging her.

Finally, after another several minutes of getting it all out of his system, Kit gently pulled himself away from Surge's arms and wiped down his eyes. In addition, he showed the her a small gentle smile.

"Thank you, Surge..." He said softly. "And...I-I...I love you too...my big sister."

As a warmness filled her heart and with a smile of her own forming, Surge mussed around Kit's hair before placing a quick kiss on the top of his head as her way of returning the gratitude, causing him to lightly giggle.

"Now, I dunno about you, but all this heart-wrenching drama and heartfelt sappiness has worked up an appetite in me." She expressed.

Kit laughed a little again. "You know...I think I'm feeling the same."

"Well, then let's get that taken care of, shall we?" Surge said. "In fact, I was thinking to myself earlier in the day about us heading out to some fast food joint. At least, that was until I heard about whatever is going on with you with that lightheaded wobbly stuff you were experiencing."

The tenrec gave it a moment of thought, then another idea came to her mind.

"Tell ya what, I'm still kinda in the mood to head out again, so how 'bout I go grab us some grub and bring it back here? Would that sound good to you?" Surge suggested.

"Yeah, sure!" Kit answered with a smile. "I would like that."

Surge smiled as well. "Well, if that's settled, then I'll get a move on."

She stood up and stretched a little, but then she glanced over at Kit once again.

"I do wanna add that if this whole business of you have those wobbly and lightheaded feelings doesn't go by the wayside soon enough, I think we gotta get you checked out just to be sure everything's all in the up and up with ya physically." She suggested to him.

"Uh...s-sure, if we need to that is," Kit hesitantly agreed. "I'm hoping it was just the anxiety and stress of everything else that was causing it."

"Let's hope so," Surge agreed with a nod, then she patted the fennec on his head. "Anyway, I'll be sure to be back in a flash."

With a smile of his own, Kit nodded back and Surge headed off on her errand of nabbing some food for both of them.

Sighing as he laid back down on his bed to wait in the meantime, the fennec again smiled lightly. Above all else and no matter what else when it comes to any recent issues he's been suffering from, it brought a sense of relief to know and be reassured that Surge was going to be there for him whenever needed.

In the hours since their talk and the subsequent meal, Surge and Kit basically spent the remainder of their day in their room. The only other noteworthy occurrence was that Surge happened across both Tangle and Belle again during her food run where they naturally curious about Kit and how he was doing. Though she didn't divulge every aspect of their talk or all that he'd been through, she did mention to them that Kit was experiencing some bad dreams which explained why he was struggling and would do what she could to help him through things.

Later into the evening after both of them went to sleep, Surge rose up from her bed as she felt the need to use the bathroom. She was in a slight bit of a rush, so she opted to simply leap down from the top bunk without climbing down the ladder and then made her way over to get that task done.

Once Surge did get finished with that and attempted returning to bed, something caught her eye.

She looked to see Kit up in a sitting position on his bed, hugging his legs close to his chest and his face buried into his knees.

Frowning, she was curious to see what's going on and began carefully approaching him.

"Drippy?" She softly said.

Upon hearing his name being called out, the fennec raised his head enough to face Surge. Right away, the latter could see his eyes glistening with tears through the darkness. It didn't take much for her to assume what may be the cause of that.

Without saying another word, she crawled onto the bed and sat right next to him. After that, she placed an arm around him and he immediately leaned against her in response.

"H-he's s-still there...I-I can still h-hear him..." Kit tearfully whispered.

Whether he meant that as having yet another nightmare or just somehow was hearing the words which have been haunting him throughout the day again by happenstance, it didn't matter in the moment. In response, Surge's instincts kicked in by bringing her other arm around his trembling form before pulling him closer.

Soon enough, he put his arms around her and she could hear him starting to cry. Though quieter than how he broke into tears earlier in the day, his cries were still ones filled with pain and anguish.

While Kit cried and Surge did what she can to soothe him, it gave her a little time to reflect

Time and again, she had asked herself what her purpose in life was or what she'd make of herself ever since claiming her and Kit's independence from Starline. She thought bringing him down and anyone else she viewed as enemies was the key to solving all their problems.

Now having spent all the time she and Kit have had at the Restoration and more importantly the time they've spent together, she knew now with absolute certainty that this was what gave her the most fulfillment in the present moment in time.

This in question was simply being there for Kit. Her companion. Her best little buddy. Her little brother. The one thing that made everything she'd been though worth it in the end. He'd done so much for her in the recent past and the least she felt like doing in return was being sure to do what she could in helping him live out a happier life by his side.

Eventually his soft cries stared to faded away and Surge presumed that meant he might've fallen back asleep in her arms. Thinking that was the case, she ever so gently began to let go of him and tried heading back to her bed.

But then she felt Kit take a hold of one of her hands. She looked back and saw what was essentially a pleading expression on the fennec's face.

Almost immediately when she looked at him, Kit averted his own gaze away slightly; suggesting he felt somewhat guilty over what he was implying he wished Surge could do for him.

Yet the fennec had little to be concerned about. He looked back again when he felt the tenrec's hand on his head and saw a brief smile on Surge's face.

"Scoot over." She softly told him.

Kit did just that; allowing Surge some additional space to lay down on the bed and get underneath the blanket. The fennec followed suit and he would next feel the tenrec bring him back into an embrace which he gladly welcomed himself into and reciprocated.

He sniffled and still let out the occasional sob; to which Surge again would repeat the same efforts to soothe him.

"I-I...I love you...sis..." Kit muttered quietly after a couple of minutes. "Thank you for everything."

Surge smiled again, pressed her muzzle on top of his head and hugged him tighter.

"I love you too, bro," She responded in kind before kissing the top of his head. "It's no trouble at all."

Kit had the briefest of smiles come across his lips despite the sobs and after a little more time, he felt himself fall back to sleep securely knowing that if anything else troubled him now or in the future, he always could count on assistance and support coming from Surge.

His companion.

His best friend.

His big sister.