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The October air was colder than usual.
The brisk winds pushed aside the colorful leaves at his feet and instinctively, he placed his icy digits in his coat pockets as a puff of warm air escaped rose colored lips.
He prompted his head and turned his attention to the ashen skies; witnessing how the sun's light couldn't pierce through the darkest grays above.
How it's muffled pale light offered him nothing of warmth and comfort.
A display of irony in how the world seemed to paint the feelings lingering along his heart when he was unable.
A warm smile etched across his visage, pale sapphire blues eased upon the carved letters in front of him with a twist of displeasure pooling in his eyes.
"We meet again, Dr. Tenma." The words spilled from his lips in a silken tone.
As if the man would rise and respond - to condemn him and save him again .
He had watched from afar the day the mourned Japanese man had been buried.
Witnessed how his sister broke down as they lowered his coffin deep into the ground. But there were many sadden smiles too.
He could identify these emotions but he found it hard to replicate the act of such.
Something flickered and weighed deep inside of him - but none of those emotions could be translated with any sense of conveyance.
What whirled inside of him was nothing like regret or despair. Tenma lived a life full of adoration and irrefutable accomplishments.
The old man he viewed as his father died without contrition - as he had already laid to rest his past grievances and performed the impossible when he killed the Nameless and created something not as disfigured as the monster which once was - but a human being worthy of forgiveness and love.
If there were no feelings of lamentations, why did it sting as his fingers dug along the trimmings of his name?
The cold air cut into his bare digits - but that wasn't what hurt in the moment he traced the T of the doctor's surname.
His lips quivered, desiring to share the words long buried within the depths of his soul and yet, incapable of even making a simple sound to break the deafening silence.
An empty smile was all that remained, steeled and unbreakable.
But the weight that started pressing against his chest made it hard to breathe.
The blonde tried to take his attention away from what he was feeling and knelt down so that he was eye level with the carving of Tenma's name.
"You know...it's unforgiveable that I outlived you."
Especially when Johan resigned to dying by his hands all those years ago.
This day was never supposed to come.
Johan shouldn't be standing in front of Tenma's grave.
The affliction consuming him within had no proper outlet - his only method of reprieve stolen and destroyed.
But perhaps it was a fitting punishment; his only punishment.
He could not mourn the man who saved him.
All of the sadness and hurt welled up inside would drown him until he found ways to stay afloat.
That was his only option
A deep breath was gingerly inhaled as the brisk wind brushed along his face.
Softly, he closed his eyes, pretending that even a single tear drop could fall for a man so gracious .
But he could only imagine it.
Wish that the hauntings of his heart could leave him for the sake of this one precious man.
"I guess, this is farewell - dear Dr Doctor Tenma."