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“What’s the difference between whole grain and regular grain?”
To put it frankly, Namgyu is miserable. Between the bright fluorescent lights, the trashy pop music blasting from the speakers, and Subong’s constant questions, sanity appears to be slipping away from him with every passing aisle. He eyes the cart full of chemically-coloured junk food and cereal that has been banned from their main grocery store due to its lab-grown ingredients and wonders for a moment, are we suddenly health conscious?
Still, he’s aware that responding to a question with another question is unamiable, so he looks down at the man crouched on the ground who appears to be reading far too closely into nutrition labels and shrugs.
“One’s whole.”
Subong fixes him with a glare that briefly makes Namgyu feel bad for his attitude. The guilt is dissipated, however, when he recalls how Subong dragged him here thirty minutes ago when he knows there are few things in the world Namgyu absolutely despises:
Tuna, those little dogs with the crusty fur around their mouths, and grocery stores.
“What’s with the tone?”
Namgyu rolls his eyes and leans forward on the cart, watching as Subong seems to decide on regular grain, which is a good choice seeing as it is half the price of whole grain.
“It’s like they put everything infuriating in the world into one building,” Namgyu mumbles, narrowly avoiding a toddler running straight toward their cart. “See?”
It’s hard to contain his frustration on the best of days. Talking about his feelings and emotions has been difficult for Namgyu since he was a child, but he wears his anger on his sleeve. But on days like this, where the club kept him three hours past close and he stumbled into the apartment as the sun was peeking up over the horizon, and after he slept for close to two hours before forcing himself up for the day, it’s more difficult than usual.
Still, he relaxes when he feels a strong pair of arms wrap around his waist and a light kiss is pressed to the back of his neck. Subong takes a deep, heaving breath from his position behind him, and Namgyu follows along, trying to even his heart rate a little.
“Good thing you’re such a good driver, hey?”
Namgyu scoffs and pushes the cart forward. “We done?”
“Mm,” Subong disagrees, kissing the nape of his neck once more before unhanding him. “Bakery.”
Namgyu groans quietly, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment as another loud song rings through his temples, piercing his already-forming migraine. It doesn’t help that Subong seems insistent on squeezing his ass every second it’s in his line of sight.
He heads toward the bakery, scrunching his nose up at the smell of fresh baked bread. It’s another strange thing he dislikes- ever since working in a bakery as a teenager, the scent has bugged him deeply, reminding him of early morning opening shifts that would leave him covered in flour. Now, he gets off work in the early morning covered in spilled alcohol.
Full circle.
“Be a good boy and pick out a cake.”
Namgyu blinks at Subong, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “Why?”
“Because I said so.”
They play eye contact chicken until eventually Namgyu glances toward the cooler full of cakes, picking the cheapest one available.
“Not that one.”
“You said to pick one out!”
“You don’t even like lemon, baby. Pick a different one.”
Subong rests his palm in between his shoulder blades, applying just enough pressure to both remind him who’s in charge and to ground him a little. He kneads his fingers into the muscle gently as Namgyu eyes the selection, eventually landing on a vanilla cake decorated with strawberries, adorned with Happy Birthday written on the top. Subong leans forward to kiss his cheek before adding it to their cart, taking over on pushing it to give Namgyu a break as he heads toward checkout, pulling their shared bank card out of his wallet.
“Daddy’s got it today.”
“Ew.” Namgyu shoves at him lightly. “Don’t call yourself that.”
“Well, you won’t, so someone has to.”
Namgyu shuffles around on his feet as Subong pays for their groceries, the kid bagging them asking at least twelve times if he prefers paper or plastic. It’s only when he tells Namgyu he really should pay for plastic, I mean, these two litres are gonna bust right through a paper bag that he feels his sanity fully slipping. Before he can curse out the thirteen year old checkout boy, Subong squeezes his wrist gently.
“You’re okay,” he says. He always says it like a statement- never asking if Namgyu is alright or not, but telling him. Namgyu sucks in a deep breath and nods.
“Plastic. Sure.”
“Good choice.” The kid has the nerve to look pleased at him, his little nose upturned as he resumes bagging their groceries.
They pile the groceries into Subong’s beat up Hyundai, Namgyu taking an extra few moments to suck the nicotine out of his vape like it’s oxygen, and Subong keeps the volume on low as they drive back home. He reaches out to grasp Namgyu’s thigh as he drives, peeking at him every so often.
Ever since moving in together a few months ago, things have been a little tense between the two of them. Although they have been dating for just over three years at this point, Namgyu cherished his alone time, and Subong was, to be blunt, awful at leaving him alone. Between picking out throw pillows and trying to convince Subong that there needs to be more than one towel in their closet, Namgyu has been tasked with making sure he keeps his sanity whilst simultaneously wondering how Subong managed to survive living alone for most of his adult life. They have a quiet place just off of downtown, close enough to the chaos to keep them occupied, but far enough to feel like home.
Subong has turned into quite the little housewife. Namgyu wouldn’t call himself the breadwinner, but between his wage and tips, he pays for most of the rent. Subong picks up gigs here and there, but is set to release an album by the end of the year, and if it’s anything like Gyeong-su has chalked it up to be, they should be billionaires by summer.
“Baby needs a nap,” he comments as Namgyu yawns obnoxiously. He frowns at Subong and shakes his head.
“‘M fine. Not even tired.”
“Mhm,” Subong rubs his thumb over Namgyu’s leg, squeezing him once before pulling into their parking spot. “Well, I need a nap, and I can’t sleep without you there.”
“You’re just saying that so I’ll sleep.”
“Prove it.” Then, softer: “Thank you for coming with me.”
Namgyu reaches down and places his palm over Subong’s hand, patting it gently and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss his knuckles.
They carry the groceries up the stairs and throw whatever needs to go into the fridge inside haphazardly, Subong taking over once Namgyu yawns so many times in a row that his eyes start leaking tears. Before he can put the cake away, he clicks open the packaging, whistling a little to get Namgyu’s attention as he tilts his head toward the couch.
“Pick a movie.”
Namgyu grunts in response, his shoulders relaxing as Subong flicks off the overhead light and turns on the lamp next to the couch. He sits down, cake in hand, and waits as Namgyu throws on some shitty English movie from their watchlist.
“Dude. We aren’t eating it like that.” Namgyu eyes the cake in his lap, as well as the giant soup spoon Subong grabbed from their cupboard. The older boy waggles his eyebrows and grabs a big spoonful, shoving it in his mouth, missing by half an inch and getting icing all over himself. “You’re disgusting.”
Subong picks a strawberry off the top and brings it to Namgyu’s lips, a smile tugging on his frosting covered mouth as Namgyu obediently opens his mouth and takes the fruit in. “Good boy.”
“Stop doing that,” Namgyu whines as he elbows Subong gently, manhandling him into a position where he can lay with his head on Subong’s chest. The taller of the two grabs another spoonful- much smaller- and brings it toward Namgyu.
“Open up.”
“You sound like you’re in a shitty porn-” Namgyu chokes a little as the spoon is shoved into his mouth, but bites down and swallows anyway. A pleased noise leaves the back of his throat at the taste.
“Good?” Subong asks, reaching with his other hand to tuck some of Namgyu’s hair behind his ear. He nods against his chest and inhales deeply.
“What’s the occasion?”
Subong hums for a moment, his eyes flicking toward the TV before landing back on Namgyu. “I love you.”
Namgyu smiles a little into his sweater and leans up to press a kiss to the exposed patch of skin on Subong’s collarbone. “Mhm. Is that all?”
“That’s all,” Subong whispers, his tone starkly serious as he smiles softly at the boy. “Can’t I spoil my boyfriend?”
“When you put it that way…” Namgyu teases, sticking his pointer finger in the cake and bringing it up to Subong’s lips. He takes it in his mouth without question, swirling his tongue around the digit before popping it out with a smirk. “I love you too.”
“Well, I’m glad, because I just spent all my money on this cake. I mean- couldn’t you have picked a cheaper one?”
Namgyu swats at him, sitting up to put the lid back on the cake before settling against him again. He hums in delight as Subong’s finger snake their way into his hair and begin to gently run through the small knots.
As Namgyu’s breath begins to even out and his eyes flutter shut, Subong stays wide awake, watching the boy on his chest and holding him a little closer.
He’d buy a million cakes for Namgyu.