Work Text:
Aki:
Can we meet in the SEKAI today, everyone?
I want to apologize for being stubborn
Also, some things there have changed and it’s probably best that we discuss it as a group
Akito drummed his fingers nervously against his desk as Miku gazed at the screen, watching the first text bubble–An’s–pop up. “Do you think they’ll even want to go now that I’ve been putting it off for so long?”
“I hope so,” she said quietly. “It really is important. If they don’t think so just from your message, though, I could probably convince them.”
“You might have to,” he sighed wearily as another thirty seconds passed and An’s message still had not been completed. “God, I look so stupid right now. Asking to meet up after avoiding the SEKAI for the past week…”
Naginin:
Glad to see you’ve FINALLY decided to recognize the SEKAI as being part of your problem >:( I’m gonna chew you out for ignoring us when we asked you to meet there later, but for now I’m more worried about whatever the heck that cryptic message means
Is Miku okay?? Did I miss something??
It’s only been like
A day
Since I last visited
What happened??
…How did he explain this?
The SEKAI changing was definitely a cause for concern, but he didn’t feel great about telling them he’d nearly single-handedly brought it one step closer to disappearing. Even if Miku continued to insist it had been influenced at least slightly by the others’ feelings–mainly Toya, she’d hinted, which was concerning–it was still mostly his fault. It wasn’t a nice feeling at all.
Still, if it was a group problem, then they had been right all along (which he would have to admit) and they absolutely needed to tackle it together.
Aki:
Miku’s fine, don’t worry. She’s watching me type right now
But parts of the SEKAI aren’t as colorful as they were before
She’s really worried, says it’s from a bunch of different things
It’ll be better if we can explain in person
Naginin:
Alright, I’ll be free in an hour so I’ll pop on over then
Kohammie:
I should be free then too, so I’ll meet you guys there
Glad to be able to see you there again aki :>
He couldn’t help but smile. Something about Kohane was oddly precious, as usual.
Aki:
I’m glad to hear that you guys’ll be there :]
Willow, what about you?
Naginin:
@Willow
@Willow
@Willow
Aki:
Dude, give him at least five minutes before pinging him that many times in a row
Naginin:
But this is importaaaaaaant
“She’s just gonna tick him off,” Akito muttered in annoyance as the next three pings popped up. “If he didn’t reply to the first one, why would six help?”
“Um…is Toya alright?”
“I don’t know. We can’t even see each other unless we’re in SEKAI, so if we can’t reach him on Discord there’s pretty much nothing we can do.”
Miku awkwardly shuffled her feet. “Should I try to visit him?”
“I mean, I won’t stop you, but if he’s not answering his phone, he probably doesn’t have it on him,” Akito pointed out. “It’d probably just cause trouble for him if you popped up on it in public or something, too, so I’d just wait.”
“...Alright.”
Naginin:
@Willow
@Willow
@Willow
Aki:
Oh my god stop
Willow:
Sorr y. V busy. Can’t talk.
Kohammie:
That’s okay!!
Can you meet us in SEKAI in an hour Willow?
Willow:
Will try.
He switched his status to Do Not Disturb immediately after sending that last message as if wanting to prove to them just how busy he was. Akito didn’t use status very often himself, and neither did the girls, but Toya used them almost religiously to indicate that he couldn’t be reached beyond a certain time.
This was fairly normal behavior, so Akito shouldn’t have been concerned. However…
…That time’s almost never this early in the day.
I thought we’d have extra time to work because summer break started last week, but I guess I was wrong.
Maybe he’s busy with practice?
He doesn’t talk much about it, but whatever he does, it takes up so much of his day he can only freely talk at night.
Is that fun, I wonder?
It was for me. Sort of.
Is it the same for Willow?
…Is he alright?
As much as he hated it, though, there was nothing he could do for him at the moment.
Here’s hoping he can meet us.
Naginin:
See it worked
…Why was she like this?
For the next few minutes Akito alternatively fiddled with his guitar and paced around his room. Miku watched him do so with a concern that seemed unwarranted, eyes tracking him across the room for his desk. “Akito, why are you so nervous?”
“I’m not,” he answered on autopilot as he completed his fifth circuit around his room.
“You won’t stop walking around. Can you sit down?”
He grabbed his guitar off his bed and dropped down into his chair again, strumming his way through a song he liked. “What song is that?” Miku asked, likely trying to distract him. “That’s not one of yours, is it?”
“No, but…how would you know?” he asked curiously.
“They sometimes show me your songs, so I know a lot of them now,” she admitted. “They’re all very nice. It’s clear the music you create is important to you all.”
“…It is.”
“Their voices all sound so nice together, too,” she remarked. “It would be interesting if—”
Akito shot her a warning look and she immediately dropped the subject. “So…if that song isn’t one of yours, whose is it?”
“It’s one that my sister and her group covered,” he answered, glad she wasn’t pushing him any longer. “They’ve got all sorts of stuff, but this one sticks out to me a lot.”
She listened attentively as he methodically went through the chords. “You have a sister?”
A, B, E. The beginning was easier than he’d remembered. “Yeah. She has her own group. She’s the one that got me into this.”
Another A. “That’s nice,” Miku said softly.
F#m7, followed immediately by C#m7. He still had trouble with those. “Yeah. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her.”
D, A, Em. “Akito?”
He paused. “Yeah?”
“Could you play the song? I want to hear it.”
“Why?”
“It seems to be important to you,” she admitted, sitting down on his screen. “I want to hear it.”
“...Alright.”
He put his guitar aside again and opened YouTube, clicking on his sister’s channel. He scrolled down for a few minutes–right, this one was a little older–before finally locating it. “Here it is.”
“The art is so pretty,” she whispered in awe.
Akito felt his chest swell with pride. “My sister drew that.”
Miku hummed. “She’s very good. I like how the picture makes me feel.”
She sat and quietly listened to the song, nodding along to it. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she was actively committing it to memory.
…I really do love this song.
And Ena sounds so nice when she sings it with her friends.
He liked to listen to this one on days that were a little too hard to brush away like he used to, and although they lived apart Akito could still hear his sister singing and pretend she was speaking to him.
It was lame and nothing was as good as the real thing, but it was all he had for the moment while he was like this.
I miss her.
I wish I could handle being home.
Maybe I should visit them sometime.
Or maybe I’m better off like this.
She probably is too.
I hope she’s alright back down.
He leaned back in his chair and let his sister’s voice resonate throughout the room.
“Even so, if I loaded kindness
onto those shoulders, with both my hands
I wonder if you
would be able to feel love again?”
Has it been an hour yet?
Akito checked the timestamps for his friends’ messages again, frustrated to find he still had twenty minutes before their scheduled meet-up. Waiting around like this is pointless. I’m not even working or practicing anymore.
I’ve just been showing Miku some of N25’s music, but if I’m not doing anything productive…
…Screw this.
I’m just gonna go to SEKAI already.
“What are you doing?” Miku asked as soon as Akito reached for his phone, sounding wary.
“Oh, sorry. I just figured I’d head to SEKAI instead of sitting around doing nothing,” he said hastily. “I’ll meet you there in a few minutes, Miku.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
She disappeared in a brief flash of light, leaving him alone in his room again.
…I don’t want to go there.
I want to stay in my room where nowhere can bother me.
But I can’t.
Akito made his way downstairs and prepared himself some tea, inhaling the soothing scent as it steeped. Making tea like this is nice, at least.
I’ve got a lot of boxes back there since Mom kept bringing them over, so I should try and use as much as I can.
The timer went off. He methodically stirred in a healthy dose of honey (the herbal teas were good for his throat, but he could never take them without a little sugar) and screwed the lid of the thermos closed. Once that was done he made his way back upstairs, instantly spotting Miku on his phone again. “Miku? Is something wrong?”
“I’m sorry. I was just worried when you didn’t appear,” she apologized. “I’ll be waiting in SEKAI.”
She disappeared again, and this time Akito picked up his phone and pressed “play” on Untitled. The world around him faded away, leaving him standing in SEKAI in all its gray, depressing glory.
…I think I hate this place. Just a little.
I don’t know.
I wish it didn’t look like Vivid Street.
Sighing, Akito checked his messages. He only had ten minutes to go.
“Akito, you’re here.”
Miku had come up behind him, smiling faintly as she always was. “Would you like to come sit down?” she offered. “The others should enter around here like usual.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
He trailed behind her as she led him towards the wall with the flyers. Akito avoided looking at them to the best of his ability as he sat down against the cold bricks, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to look at the SEKAI for any longer than he had to. Just a few minutes.
I just have to wait for a few minutes.
“Do you really hate this place, Akito?”
“…Can you read minds or something?”
“Not really,” Miku admitted. “Many of the feelings here are very clear, so I have a better time seeing them than others. It helps that some of them manifest as shapes in the SEKAI, too, which makes them even easier to understand.”
“Huh.” It seemed this strange place would continue to surprise him just when he thought he’d gotten used to it.
He didn’t really like it.
“I don’t know if I hate it,” he said at last, attempting to be at least a little delicate. “It’s just too much like the place where I used to sing.”
I wish I could forget.
I don’t want to think about it at all.
“…I see.”
Miku’s tone was sad, and Akito didn’t have the heart to look down at her face. “I’m sorry to hear that. Is…is there any way I can change that?”
Probably not.
I never want to go back there, so I don’t even want to come here.
So I can’t help but hate it just a little.
“I don’t know.”
She let out an unhappy hum but didn’t say anything else.
…Ah, this isn’t good.
I shouldn’t keep rejecting it like this. It’ll just make it even worse.
Ugh. I can’t help it, though.
It’s really too much like Vivid Street.
“Heeeeeeey! Mikuuuuuu, where are you guys at?”
“There’s An,” Akito said, finishing the last of his tea and pushing himself to his feet. Miku got upright a second later, hurrying after him as he set off in the direction of her voice. “We’d better go meet her.”
Sure enough, An was waiting for them by the flyers. She was actually wearing casual clothes today–he’d gotten so used to seeing her in her pajamas it felt oddly shocking–and deep down he felt a flicker of embarrassment for only wearing a hoodie and sweatpants like usual. “I guess this is what you meant,” she commented, surveying the flyers. “There’s obviously a difference. It really must’ve happened after I left yesterday, ‘cause I don’t remember seeing any of this.”
“This is the most I’ve found. There’s probably more.”
Her sharp golden eyes lingered on him for a moment before darting back to the SEKAI. “Well, once everyone gets here we’d better have a proper meeting. If the SEKAI’s really changing for the worse, we have to figure out how to fix it.”
“Yeah.”
A glimmer of color and light caught his eye, and Kohane landed a few paces away from them (also in casual clothes, although her outfit was frillier than An’s.) “Nice to see you guys again,” she said with a smile. It was a lot steadier than the first time they’d met in person, and he couldn’t help but marvel at the new ease she seemed to have around them. “Especially you, Akito.”
“Yeah, yeah. Glad to be here or whatever,” he muttered, faintly embarrassed at the callout. “Has Toya said anything about meeting us?”
The girls traded nervous looks. “No,” An said slowly. “And…he’s actually been hurrying back home earlier and earlier the past few nights, too.”
“We’ve been worried, but he won’t give us any reason,” Kohane murmured. “Do you think he’s getting tired of handling the SEKAI?”
“It’s more likely he’s just having trouble sneaking into SEKAI without getting caught,” Akito quickly corrected. “I have it easy since I live by myself, but you three probably have it a little harder.”
“True. I have to go super late since my mom likes to check in on me while I work,” An agreed with a rueful laugh.
“My dad does, too. They get worried about me if I go too long without talking to them, so my parents have a habit of coming by every couple of hours to ask me if I’m doing alright.”
“Ah, the unfortunate side effect of present parents,” the other girl joked. “Still, sneaking away when they think I’m asleep for good isn’t too hard.”
“...Is the SEKAI a bother?”
“No!” An protested vehemently, spinning around to give Miku a reassuring pat on the back. “It’s just…well, in the real world, entering a pocket dimension with a song isn’t really normal, so we have to keep it a secret. That’s all!”
She looked a little relieved. “Alright. I’m glad.”
My attitude must be wearing down on her.
Geez.
I have to pull it together. At least for their sakes.
They stood there chatting for a little while, Akito checking his phone every few seconds. It had been approximately an hour and ten minutes since Toya had said he would try to meet them. What was holding him up?
Is he really having trouble sneaking away?
Maybe I should’ve asked them to meet later when their families were asleep.
Ugh, why didn’t I think about it a little longer?
Miku made it clear it was kind of urgent, but I still should’ve–
His phone buzzed with a text. Startled, he quickly clicked on the notification to read it properly.
Willow:
Srry. can’t meet
will try lter
I guess I’m not surprised.
I can’t expect everyone to suddenly have time for me after I’ve ignored the SEKAI all week.
“Man, Toya’s not coming?” An groaned as she read the message on her own phone. “At least he’ll try to meet us later, but…geez! I thought we could have an actual meeting at last.”
“I’m sorry,” Akito apologized. “I shouldn’t have put it off for so long.”
She sighed and shook her head, looking only a little annoyed. “We can discuss it in the meeting, but for now just drop it. What do you want to do now, though? I’m guessing Toya won’t be free ‘till much later, and it’s only…wow, three in the afternoon. It’s gonna be hours.”
“Um…if we’re going to wait, I might head home,” Kohane confessed. “My parents wanted to go out, but I told them I had to take care of something. I might still have time to leave if I hurry back.”
“Aww. You should go, then! I hope you have all the fun in the world, Kohane!”
“See you later, Kohane,” Miku said with a little wave. “Please have lots of fun.”
“What she said. See ya.”
“Thank you, guys. I’ll be back later tonight!”
With that Kohane pulled out her phone again and stopped Untitled, disappearing almost instantly. “I might as well leave, too,” An said, planting her hands on her hips. “I promised I’d help my dad with the cafe when I got back, so there’s no point in putting it off.”
“...Right.” She’d mentioned this ‘cafe’ before, but Akito hadn’t paid any attention at first.
Not until he learned her father was Ken Shiraishi, at least.”
“He’s got a cafe now?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
“A lot of people thought it was weird, but yeah. He opened it a while back after he quit singing,” she answered. “Have you ever been?”
“No. What’s it like?”
“Awesome! It’s a really nice place, and he’s always got drinks and music. You should come sometime! I’d love to bring you guys to Vivid Street one day.”
Akito bit back a shudder. “No thanks.”
“So it is Vivid Street.”
He stared at her, confused. “What?”
An crossed her arms, looking slightly smug. “I noticed that whenever I bring up Vivid Street, you get uncomfortable and super shifty. Wanna explain why?”
“It’s none of your business,” he snapped. “Why don’t you stop asking already?”
She held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay! I’m just worried! We’ve barely been able to get anything not work-related out of you since we all met in the SEKAI, and you’ve made it clear you don’t like hearing about RAD WEEKEND, Vivid Street or street music. I just want to know why!”
Guilt pricked at him like thorns. His friend was just asking him these questions because he had given her reason to–he could hardly complain about her bothering him when he’d made their lives more difficult by not communicating.
Still, he didn’t want to talk about it.
Not with someone who likely wouldn’t even understand, at least.
“Look. I’m sorry for worrying you,” Akito said at last. “But I don’t want to talk about it, so please, stop asking.”
An oddly sympathetic expression crossed her face. “I get it,” she admitted. “I don’t like talking about myself either, and…” She hesitated. “I don’t…totally like being there, either.”
…Why?
She seemed to love talking about it so much before.
And whenever I saw her singing, she was so happy.
What changed?
“So I promise, I really do get it,” An continued. “But we’re gonna have to talk about it at some point if we want to get to the bottom of this.”
“I know. I just…”
She looked at him with something like pity before finally shaking her head. “Alright. I’m gonna go now. See you tonight, Miku.”
She stopped Untitled and promptly disappeared. Miku watched the last colors of her exit fade away before turning to Akito, looking slightly disappointed. “Why didn’t you tell her?”
“I just don’t want to talk about it. It’ll be hard for her to get it, so why bother?”
“But…if you don’t tell them, they won’t understand.”
I don’t want them to understand.
I was just being pathetic.
I shouldn't have quit.
“Besides,” Miku started again. “She said she–”
“I need to take a break. I’m gonna head home.”
“W–Will you four be back later?” Miku begged as he pulled his phone from his pocket. She sounded more desperate than usual, and Akito wondered how seriously worried she was for all of them. “If you don’t learn more about the SEKAI and confront it, then–”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. We’ll try to come back tonight, Miku. Sorry for the trouble.”
“Okay,” she said softly. “See you later.”
And then he was back in his own room, which somehow felt even duller than the SEKAI.
I’m so tired.
Going straight from the cafe to the SEKAI to home to the SEKAI again…it’s been a busy day.
I really should be working, but…
Akito looked from his computer to his bed, which was made for once (surprisingly) and looked especially inviting. The puppy plushie Toya had given him nearly a month back sat on top of the pillow, begging him to come snuggle with its shiny black buttons eyes.
…He really was tired. Was he really imagining snuggling with a plushie (a soft and comfortably squishy plushie, yes, but a plushie nonetheless)?
Whatever.
A short nap before midnight can’t hurt.
He plugged his phone in on his nightstand and pulled all the curtains closed, making sure Do Not Disturb was on (not that it would stop Miku–maybe?–but hopefully she wouldn’t try to wake him up since they weren’t meeting for hours) and promptly dropped under the covers, exhaustion hitting him like a truck.
If he snuggled Toya’s plushie at least a little, that was no one else’s business.
“Willow, are you alright?” Kohammi asked. “You seem more stressed than usual.”
“I’m fine, thank you,” was the curt reply. “Just tired.”
“Alright…um, do you think this draft goes well with your lyrics?”
“Yes, I think it does. Although maybe you should lower the saturation a bit.”
“Okay! Thank you.”
“Hey, hey, Kohammie, did you say the blur effect was alright?”
“I think it’ll look great as long as you don’t overdo it!”
“Yes! I’ve been wanting to use it for a while now.”
Akito leaned back in his chair and let his groupmates’ voices (mainly the girls’) wash over him. This feels nice without all the tension from before. Maybe since I slept a little, too, but it’s more relaxing than yesterday.
…But I’m worried about Willow.
He seems more anxious and to-the-point tonight, like he doesn’t have time to waste or something.
Why?
Is he having trouble at home?
Will he tell us if we ask?
“Soooooo,” Naginin started, and Akito hastily dragged his attention back to the call. “We’ve done a pretty good job tonight, so can we all meet in SEKAI now? We couldn’t meet earlier, after all…”
“Yes,” he said instantly. “I can make it.”
“I can, too,” Kohammie chimed in. “I’m assuming you can, too, Naginin?”
“Right on! Wouldn’t be suggesting it if I couldn’t. Willow, what about you?”
Willow was silent for a moment, and Akito held his breath. “I don’t know,” he murmured. His voice was quieter than usual. “I haven’t had much time lately. I’m sorry.”
“Not even this late at night?” Kohammie asked sympathetically. “Is everything okay, Willow?”
“...I can try to meet you. Can we head over now?”
“I don’t mind,” Akito reassured. “I’ve already finished my draft, so I’ve got nothing to worry about on my end.”
“Same!”
“Yeah, me too!”
He wondered if he was imagining the tiny, nearly inaudible sigh of relief he heard moments later. “Alright. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
“Let’s go, then,” An encouraged. “See you guys in SEKAI!”
Akito wasted no time grabbing his phone and opening the app, pressing ‘Untitled’ as fast as he could. Oddly enough he appeared in the area they had met the first two times, and he could already see An and Kohane settling into their chairs. “Is Miku here?”
“She’s probably looking for us now,” Kohane answered, squinting at the landscape around them. “Ah, there she is!”
“Hello,” Miku greeted as she approached them, eyes flitting back and forth between them. “Is Toya here?”
“He will be in a moment,” Akito promised her. “He seemed pretty eager to come here, so I wouldn’t worry about him not being able to meet us.”
She nodded, easing down into the chair across him (leaving the one right next to him empty.) Her expression was troubled. “Alright.”
They weren’t waiting for very long before Toya appeared in front of them in a colorful flash. Akito felt a pang as he immediately sat down, face neutral to the point of looking almost lifeless. “Sorry for being late.”
“It’s fine. You’re not as late as Akito,” An teased, playfully kicking his leg (it hurt way more than she probably meant…probably.) “At least you only put it off for one night, not a whole week!”
“An, let’s drop it,” Kohane pleaded.
“Ah, chill. I’m just messing with him a little!”
“Cut it out,” Akito grumbled, swatting away her hand. “Let’s get started now that we’re all here.”
“Right,” Toya said, sitting up perfectly straight. Really–his posture was disturbingly good. “You said Miku called you here earlier because the SEKAI ‘changed?’”
“Yeah, pretty much. It’s…grayer? Or parts of it are. Well, everyone’s pretty much seen it already, so–”
“I think Toya is the only one who hasn’t seen it,” Kohane piped up. “Me and An saw it earlier when you first asked us to meet, but he just came straight here a few minutes ago.”
“...Oh, yeah. I guess you’d better see it, then.”
“I’m fine,” Toya replied instantly. “I don’t need to see it.”
Everyone stared at him in surprise. “Toya?” Miku asked. “Is everything alright?”
“I understand what you’re explaining, so I don’t need to see it. That’s all.”
“Hey, this is important,” An muttered. “Everyone needs to take a look at it, don’t they? We can’t discuss it properly until we do.”
“Are you sure everything’s alright, Toya?”
“Thank you for the concern, but I’m fine.” Toya’s tone was a little sharper than before, and Kohane tensed as though fighting the urge to flinch back. “Is there anything else we need to discuss?”
“Well…I guess we have to talk about what we’ve gotta do moving forward now that we know more about the SEKAI, and now that Akito’s gonna help investigate instead of hiding in his room,” An offered lamely. “Uh, so…”
Akito fixed his gaze on Toya, taking in every detail. He was sitting up straight in his chair, which wasn’t too odd for Toya (he’d always had good posture in comparison to the way he tended to slouch more) but he was as stiff as a statue. His eyes stayed trained on An as she talked, silver and gray blurring together until it was hard to tell if he was really paying attention or not.
All in all, he had never looked this detached, and Akito couldn’t help but feel concerned.
Should I press him more?
But if I push too much, I could make him mad.
And if he leaves the SEKAI, there’ll be nothing we can do to reach him until he feels like talking to us again.
Akito felt slightly guilty at the thought (after all, he’d just put them all through that same frustration two nights in a row last week) but knew he couldn’t allow it to happen. How do I go about this?
Should I even…?
He happened to make eye contact with Miku, who was staring at him with an intensity he’d never seen before. You have to, she mouthed, so quiet he could barely hear her over An. But please…
“Please save them.”
…Haaah.
Akito nodded as slowly and subtly as he could manage. The relief that spread across her face was like the sun breaking through clouds.
She really wants me to do this.
Why does she have so much faith in me? The SEKAI is in more danger than before because of me, and I played a big part in it falling apart in the first place. Probably.
It should be obvious by now. Put anything delicate in my hands and I’ll screw it up somehow.
She shouldn’t be so quick to trust me.
Nevertheless, she did, and he definitely didn’t intend to let her down.
The awkward meeting continued for a good while. Despite a few more (very good) tries on Kohane’s behalf, Toya remained firmly planted in his chair as though the mere thought of getting up was torture. With nothing else to do they simply did their best to describe the extent of the damage to the flyers, Miku chiming in with things she’d noticed while waiting for them. Taller pillars and pyramids, grayer colors than before, and–most worrying, according to her–faint marks that spread silently through the ground near the largest stage. “They don’t feel any different from the rest of the SEKAI, but there’s something off about them,” she explained. “I don’t know fully what’s causing them.”
“Is it, like…a combination of everything?” An tried, waving her hands to further illustrate her point. “You said the flyer was a combination of feelings, Miku. What kind of feelings could’ve…”
She trailed off as Miku glanced uncomfortably at Akito. “Oh. Uh. That makes sense.”
“Yeah,” he muttered. He wanted nothing more than to sprint away as fast as he could, but he managed to stay seated. “I have to talk to you guys about that.”
The three hesitated, glancing between each other (a rare hint of emotion slipping through the cracks of Toya’s poker face.) “Okay,” Kohane said at last. “Go ahead, Akito.”
Akito took a deep breath, firmly training his gaze on the ground so that he didn’t have to meet any of their gazes. “So. The flyers…Miku said it was because I was…rejecting the SEKAI. And blocking you all out for a few days.” He unconsciously clenched his hand around his thermos, praying the annoying tickle in his throat stayed at bay just a little longer. “I want to apologize for not listening when you wanted me to talk about it more. I was being stubborn, and it led to…this. I’m sorry.”
Silence reigned for a moment before Kohane broke it with a tiny laugh. “It’s alright.”
“Yeah,” An agreed. “It sucks that part of the SEKAI had to–I don’t know, fade is a strong word–before you figured it out, but you’re a part of this. We’ve gotta work it out all together.”
Toya nodded. “Thank you for telling us, Akito.”
To his amazement, it felt as though the tiniest amount of weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was unbelievable.
“...Thanks.”
“Heh. No problem!”
“To be honest, it’d be bad if we came after you because your feelings affected the SEKAI or something since I’m pretty sure all of ours still are, too,” An admitted. “We’ll have to look around more to find out for sure, but it’s getting late, so we should probably wrap up.”
Kohane nodded. “Even I’m getting sleepy…”
“Aww, that yawn was so cute!”
“Ah–An!”
“Alright, let’s cut the cuddle-fest short,” Akito ordered, partially amused at the sight of An ambushing Kohane in a side hug. “It’s pretty late even for us, so you’d better head home.”
“Hey, you need sleep, too. Don’t forget!” An retorted as she released Kohane and grabbed her phone. “And I mean actual sleep, not an afternoon nap. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah. Get lost.”
“Haha! See you tonight, guys!”
The girls vanished with little waves, and Toya sighed. “I’d best be going, too.”
“Wait,” Akito said impulsively. “Toya, you were off all night. What’s wrong?”
Gray eyes met his briefly before sliding away. “Nothing.”
“You look exhausted,” he replied bluntly. “What are you doing that makes you so tired?”
“Nothing,” Toya replied, his tone defensive. “Akito, I really need to be going. If I’m not back soon, I could be in trouble.”
“Toya, it’s four am. Why would anyone be awake to notice you’re gone?”
His friend hesitated, and Akito felt unease ripple through him. “Toya, do—”
“He’s starting to notice.”
“…Huh?”
“My dad. He’s started to notice I’m staying up late.” Toya stared at the ground, brow creasing ever so slightly. “I’ve been able to pass it off as homework, but he’s getting suspicious.”
“Your dad is?” Akito repeated, trying to make sense of the information he’d been allowed to hear. “Wait. Is that why you’ve been so wary about staying up too late? An said you were rushing back home as early as you could, too…”
Toya nodded, almost too imperceptibly to see. He still wasn’t meeting Akito’s gaze.
It all makes sense.
If his dad is really watching him so closely, then…
After a moment Akito took his chair and dragged it a little closer to Toya’s. Miku immediately did the same, glancing nervously between the two, but she didn’t say anything.
“So…your dad,” Akito said at last. “Is that why you’re always so busy?”
Toya nodded, picking at a loose thread in his shirt. He’d slumped back a little in his chair, but his posture was still fairly straight. It bothered Akito for some reason. “My dad…he’s a classical musician,” he answered. “My mother is, too, so they taught both my older brothers how to play. I’ve been learning for about ten years now.”
“That’s kind of cool,” Akito remarked, impressed despite himself. “Do you like it?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I should like it,” Toya blurted out. “I’m lucky to be learning from someone as skilled and knowledgeable as my dad. That’s what everyone tells me. And playing is…it’s fun. Or it used to be. I don’t know. But I have to play whenever I’m not in school, so I practice for hours and hours. They keep telling me I can go farther and work harder and be better, and it just never stops. I don’t know how to stop. I have to find…”
He fell silent for a moment. “I have to keep playing,” he said quietly. “They won’t let me stop.”
Miku lifted her hand (to do what, he wasn’t sure) before letting it drop back into her lap. “I’m sorry, Toya.”
Akito looked at her in surprise. “You didn’t know?”
“She probably had a feeling, as she’s the one in charge of the SEKAI, but I didn’t tell anyone here until now,” Toya answered for her. “There was no need. I’m worried I might not be able to work before long, though, so I should probably let An and Kohane know.”
“...Do you think you should stop playing?”
An expression of fear spasmed across Toya’s face. “Stop playing?”
“You don’t have to,” Akito said hastily, reaching towards him in hopes of calming him down. “But if it’s hurting you so much–”
The other boy almost frantically shook his head. “I can’t stop. I just–they’re expecting so much of me, they’ll be so disappointed if I stop. And I have to find–I just can’t stop. I don’t want to run away.”
His hand stopped.
I don’t want to run away.
“I don’t know what I want anymore,” Toya mumbled. “But if I run away, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Akito swallowed around the lump in his throat.
He wished he hadn’t run away.
But he couldn’t think about that right now.
Although he didn’t know if he was good enough for such a weighty task, Toya needed him. He couldn’t afford to be crying over his own mistakes at the moment.
“Have you tried talking to him?” he suggested as gently as he could. “Is there any chance you could work out a compromise? Like…less time practicing or something?”
His hopes were dashed when Toya shook his head. “There’s no chance of that.”
“What happens if you don’t practice?” Miku piped up.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never skipped. I don’t think…I don’t think he’d be pleased.”
“I see…”
Miku looked nervous, eyes flitting between the two of them. Akito stayed quiet–although he knew what she was thinking, there was no way of putting it that wouldn’t push Toya too far.
He panicked when I outright suggested he stop playing. And even if it’s hurting him, he doesn’t want to run away.
I wish I could’ve been like that.
I’m so pathetic.
…No. I have to focus on Toya.
How do I reassure him?
How do I help him?
How do I save him?
“Toya,” he started. “You probably don’t want to hear this.”
His friend looked up at him in resignation. “But?”
“I think…if you can do anything, you should try to take a break from playing,” Akito said at last. “If you don’t want to quit outright, then at least stop for a little bit. This is–it’s just going to wear down on you until you hate doing it.”
“But my parents will be disappointed, and–and I’ll be disappointed,” Toya insisted, actually standing up from his chair. There was an odd desperation to his tone that he hadn’t ever heard before. “I just can’t run away like this.”
“Please, Toya,” Miku persuaded, rising from her chair as well. “It’s hurting you.”
It’s probably hurting the SEKAI, too, Akito thought, glancing around at their surroundings. They were as gray as ever, and for the first time he wondered if Toya’s own feelings had played a large part in shaping into what it was.
Maybe it really isn’t just me.
Maybe we’re all like this.
We’re all just broken.
It’s kind of funny, actually.
“...It’s late. I need to go home.”
Akito finally realized Toya was reaching for his phone, likely unwilling to continue the conversation any further. “Wait,” he ordered, regretting it instantly when the other boy flinched. “Toya, will you at least think about it?”
“I don’t–”
“Look. I don’t want to force what I think onto you, but if classical music is hurting you this much, it’s not worth it,” Akito continued harshly. “Do you really still care about it? Enough to lose your life?”
Toya stared at his phone, his fingers clenched tightly around the edge. He could see the conflict warring in his eyes. It was clear he wanted to be free.
But escaping wasn’t going to be that easy.
“I’ll think about it,” Toya muttered. “But it’s late. I need to go home so that I don’t get caught.”
“Be safe,” Akito reminded, because there was nothing else he could think of to say.
What did you say in cases like this? He tried to remember the things he’d said to his sister before, but none came to mind. It had been too long.
He hoped she was doing well.
And that Toya would be fine, too.
“I’ll try,” his friend whispered.
And then he was gone.
“I hope he’ll be okay,” Miku murmured, staring forlornly at the place he’d stood before.
I hope so, too.
I won’t let him disappear.
I won’t let any of them disappear.