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Jemma watched as whatever creature Will had become clawed his way up through the portal only to latch himself onto Fitz's leg and pull him down before beginning to devour him. She tried to move to save him, she wasn't bound by anything, but all she could do was scream. Ear piercing shrieks and sobs, the smell of blood, the feeling of her nails tearing into her own skin and slashing until blood began to coat her arms while she desperately wailed "Take me instead!". She could do nothing but be a prisoner in her body, she could only watch the horror that unfolded, she couldn't help and for once, she couldn't save him.
With a final large sob and a screeched "No!" Jemma awoke with a start. She'd had some hellish nightmares about everything that transpired around Maveth, but this was by far the worst. In her other nightmares, Fitz had failed to rescue her, Will had turned into "It" and killed her, Will was killed by "It" and so on in the same fashion, but never had she dreamt that Fitz died, her brain wasn't cruel enough to imagine that, until now.
Jemma knew better than to think that her dreams had any impact or foresight on reality, but as she lay in bed, shaking and crying, she just wished she knew that he was alright. Once she saw him and knew he was okay then she could deal with the other problems that had arisen, such as the growing worry that she would never be able to go to sleep on her own again for fear of the terrors that would arise in her unconsciousness.
That's how she reasoned with herself to climb out from beneath the tangle of tear soaked sheets and pad down the hallway to Fitz's bunk. When she knocked on his door she realized rather passively that she had no idea what she would tell him and deciding that their relationship had been through more than enough lies and coverups, she swore to herself that she would tell him the truth, no matter what pained expression on his face.
Jemma was greeted by an adorably sleepy Fitz as he opened the door of his bunk, probably expecting to see Coulson for some mission that had to be done in the wee hours of the morning, but instead being shocked by the sight of her. A thin white t-shirt hanging off one of her shoulders and long white pajama pants that on closer inspection, were dotted with small rose buds. Her hair was still slightly damp in the back from not being completely dry when she went to bed and the rest of it was sticking out at odd angles. Her eyes were red and swollen, tear stains eroding canyons and river valleys down her cheeks.
After staring with his mouth agape for a few moments, when he noticed that she had been crying he snapped to his senses.
"What's wrong Jemma? Are you okay?"
She simply stepped forward into his arms and buried her face in his chest as she began to shake again, tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt.
She stayed there for what felt like an eternity, but it would never be long enough. She'd known for quite some time that she couldn't live without him, but now she was starting to grasp how much she never wanted to be apart from him. With his arms wrapped gently yet strongly around her back, his cheek resting on her head, his thumb moving slowly as it always had, such a small gesture but one of her greatest comforts. It was the feeling she had that was her favorite though: she was safe, and warm and, at home. They say that home is a place because it's where your heart is, but Jemma knew and believed with all her heart that he was home, because he's where her heart is. Just being able to feel him breathe against her and to hear his heartbeat was all she'd ever want or need.
She had to tell him. Not just about her nightmare, about everything, because she knew she couldn't sleep again unless he was beside her.
Using all of her willpower she finally pulled back from his embrace, looking up at him she realized that he had been silently crying as he held her. "May I come in?"
"Of course" he replied without hesitation.
He led her into his bunk and turned on the light before closing his door.
He sat down on his bed and patted the space next to him like he'd done since the academy. Jemma shook her head, "You're probably wondering why I'm here and I'll tell you in a moment but I have a lot to say and I'd prefer if you didn't interrupt me" she quickly sputtered more curtly than she would've liked.
Fitz nodded and wore a bit of an unreadable expression, mostly hurt, but he had a small glimmer of hope in his eyes that gave Jemma the courage she needed to continue.
"As you know I've had a lot of nightmares since... The Planet, and they've been bad yes, but tonight was the worst because" Jemma's speech began to falter at the thought of it, but she cleared her throat and continued.
"Because I dr-dreamt that the monster k-killed you and I couldn't do anything abou-about it a-and" she paused to look up to quell her tears before taking a deep breath "I've never had a nightmare where you died before and I knew it was foolish but I had to come see that you were alright."
Fitz slowly nodded his head, his expression morphing into one of understanding, but the small glimmer of hope hadn't yet faded from his eyes.
This was it, Jemma told herself, this will change everything.
So with one last deep breath, she began.
"I love you Fitz, there it is. I've wanted to say that since I realized it after The Pod. I always thought you were incredible, you know that, I suppose I never thought we had a chance to be together until you brought it up and I hadn't a chance to think about it before I was pulling you up from the bottom of the ocean. I thought I'd lost you Fitz, then, while you were recovering, I made you worse. And if I made you worse I couldn't possibly be anything special to you, that's what I thought at least. And then you hated me for leaving for so long."
At that a twinge of pain flashed across Fitz's face.
"Then I saw Bobbi and Hunter and I had to say something, I had to tell you how I felt, and then you asked me to dinner and I was so excited and it was wonderful and then I got swept off to that godforsaken planet and if you think for a moment that I cared more about Will than you then I'd like to know how such a brilliant man can be so bloody dense!"
Fitz's eyebrows leapt up his forehead for a moment before he stood and began pacing, his self-control never his strong suit, as much as he knew he should just sit down, he couldn't.
Jemma was practically yelling now, "Fitz don't you see? Will and I were only whatever we were when I lost hope that I would ever see you again, he was my second choice! Not you! Never you, I love you Fitz, you'll always be my first choice, my only choice."
He had stopped pacing and stood in front of her while she looked into his eyes imploringly.
With that same look she's seen on him so many times, he just stared at her, trying so hard to hope and almost not believing that she was here, in front of him, saying everything that he wished she felt.
After a long moment waiting for the other to do something, Jemma said exasperatedly, "Fitz please say something"
"Do you mean it Jemma? Are you sure? Because if you aren't that's ok, I understand if it's just because you had a nightmare, it's okay if you don't mean it, I want you to be happy, I know I'm not your type or whatever, I know you'd like someone stronger and braver, so it's okay Jemma." Fitz said as he broke her gaze to stare at the floor.
Just as Jemma was about to start again to try and resurrect he nonexistent self-esteem, he cut her off. "But if by some miracle you do mean it, I love you Jemma, I love you more than anything."
And with that, she reached up to kiss him, her hands reaching around his neck, one tangling in his hair, the other scraping lightly at the stubble along his jawline. Fitz's arms wrapped around her back, pulling her flush against his chest. Instead of their first, desperate kiss in the lab, this was more like their second: slow and gentle yet infinitely passionate.
Eventually Jemma pulled away just far enough that when she whispered, her lips brushed against his, sending a shiver down his spine, "Talking of curses and miracles. And here I thought you were a scientist." The smile that Fitz returned was bright and full of hope and adoration for the women he loves, "The only miracle I believe in," he said, "is you."
Before connecting their lips again, Jemma whispered "And you know what they say about curses," Fitz replied in unison with her "Only broken by true love's kiss"
