Chapter Text
Emmy walked through the halls of the school looking for his/her secret crush. Elliot was standing with his boyfriend Casper, they were just casually talking when Emmy walked over, "uhm..h- h- h- h- h- h- hi *Elliot's dead name*" Emmy said his/her voice quivering with an obviously fake stutter, "uhm what the actual fuck?" Casper said to Elliot who looked visibly disturbed by Emmy's actions, although the two of them were not surprised, "oh- jeepers! I am s- s- s- s- so sorry Elliot! My silly wittle mind has a hard time remembewing because I am so twaumatized.." Emmy put his/her fingers together and geting tapped them while looking at the ground to act shy. "I hope your mother dies in front of you, literally leave." Casper said, Emmy whined "E- Elliot! Make *Casper's dead name* stop being to mean to me!" Elliot blinked staring at Emmy in a "what the actual fuck is wrong with you" way before speaking, "No really just leave your weird and you freak us out." Emmy whined again, "you're so mean!! Pwease, pwease, pwease!! I- I- I- I- I love you! B- b- b- but not in a gay way! U- unless..you want it to be.." Casper and Elliot looked at each other for a moment, Elliot grabbed Casper's arm to stop his boyfriend from murdering the disgusting abomination of god. The two walked away but Emmy followed them trying to make P. Diddy jealous by "accidentally" and not so subtly brushing his/her hand against Elliot's body. Casper suddenly stopped and smacked Emmy's hand, "stop! Do. Not. Touch. Him. Ever! Get away from us you freak." Casper was livid and Elliot was uncomfortable, "Hail Hitler! Hail Hitler! Oh- oh jeepers! Look what you did! You triggered my torrits syndrome!" Emmy cried, "I'm sorry did you mean tourettes? What the fuck?" Casper corrected, reaching his breaking point. Elliot was glaring at Emmy who was fake crying in an annoying spoiled girl way, "I have mental problems! I can't help it! *Elliot's dead name* your boyfriend is so mean! I'm gonna tell the teacher!" Emmy wailed, to which Casper responded by promptly hitting Emmy he/she dramatically fell onto the ground and flailed around like a petulant child throwing a tantrum, Elliot and Casper looked at each other in pure disgust, "y- y- y- y- you're so mean senpai!" Emmy whined, "okay ew what the fuck?" Elliot responded in disbelief. Casper picked up a nearby rock and began to smash it against Emmy's face, after a few moments Emmy began moaning Casper jumped back screaching in disgust the two stared at the freak of nature in horror suddenly the ground opened up and satan crawled out of the crack he looked down at Emmy in horror, "uhhhhh yeah no." Satan said he took a moment to make a phone call, suddenly the sky opened up and God came down, "OH DEAR ME WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?" God said, "its one of yours obviously" Satan said in annoyance, "I don't want it!" God said and immediately left the earth, Satan stared down at the pathetic creature before looking at Elliot and Casper, "alright, neither of us want..that, so, you two can choose what we do with it." Elliot and Casper looked at each other before asking Satan to sentence Emmy to eternal torture, Satan happily obliged. Without the presence of femboy discord kitten Emmy, Elliot and Casper were safe at school and they actually managed to be happy until they remembered the other things life has because life is shit but at least they got rid of one shitty thing. The end.