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Bath time was an important part of Doctor Ivo Robotnik's routine. With an intellect as big as his, taking care of yourself relaxed the brain, and rebooted creativity. If that pesky hedgehog didn't exist, he wouldn't need bath time. Unfortunately, the blue rat always thwarted his plans, thus, the reset was necessary to his process.
It always took place at sunset, where nature was still visible, but with a little bit of imagination, he could pretend it was his industries that created a smog over the sun, painting the sky forever in orange. That sight motivated him at inventing better machines to take over the world.
If one happened to kill that blue nuisance, Robotnik would be in paradise.
The ritual was crucial for the process to work. His bases had to accommodate for different goals. Having a luxurious bathroom wasn't a feature he could completely indulge in. The ritual was important, but not all the steps were present depending on his base.
The first step was to prepare the bathroom. Things went on smoother if he had every tool in his vicinity. He always took a shower before taking a bath. Thus, he prepared the body wash bottles in a specific order. The body wash that had glycerine in it was the first one. He made sure the body wash was for sensitive skin. Last time he hadn't checked the ingredients, he ended up having rashes all over his body. That was not a fun day.
Being clean cleared his mind, and he refused to look like a delinquent once he conquered the world. Then, it was the pepper scented one, to assert his dominance in the industry. Finally, the mint scented body wash was placed last, to balance the pepper and give a touch of sweetness.
Robotnik smelled himself every day, he could chose which scent he put on his body.
After being clean, he liked to have a scented bath, to relax his muscles and help his creativity run wild. Special scents were placed on the edge of the bath. It changed depending on the day. The sponges were placed close to the body wash bottles. He would not use his hands to clean himself, he wasn't an animal.
Then, came the towel. It had to be put right beside the bath, large enough to wrap around his body. He got rid of all the small towels he could in his bases. He did not want a repeat of being caught vulnerable by his nemesis and to need their help to be presentable. It happened once, it would not happen a second time if Robotnik had anything to say about it.
The third important step of his routine was the care of his moustache. He took out his various moustache creams, moustache brush, gels, and washcloth. Moustache care was a necessary step to look presentable. He wanted to conquer the world in style. It wasn't a repugnant hedgehog that would take that spotlight away from him.
It reminded him of all the times his father brushed his moustache in the bathroom, telling him all about the importance of a pristine care routine. It was the only time his father ever talked about his grandfather.
Robotnik shook the memory away, and placed a new set of clothes on the dresser, where most of his products and towels were stored. He got out of his own clothes, and turned on the shower. The temperature needed to be perfect, at 27.7 Celsius exactly. With his sensitive skin, he needed a thermometer to find that exact temperature.
It was one he made on his own. To get the result to the decimetre, he couldn't use those lousy thermometers humans had made and sold in specific shops. 27.7 Celsius was not a common Celsius.
He reached the thermometer into the pouring water, and smirked once it reached the desired temperature. He shook the excess of water on the tool, placed it on the counter where the sink was, and went under the water.
Robotnik rinsed himself, using a sea sponge to gather the dirt on his body. To effectively clean oneself, one needed to get rid of the surface dirt, then use soap to clean every pore of the skin.
He preferred using natural methods than synthetic ones. Sea sponges agreed better with his sensitive skin. As he looked at the sunset, he hummed to himself. Before conquering the world, he would need to gather some sea sponges and breed them in his bases. Nature would mean nothing once everything would be robotized.
After rinsing himself, he grabbed another sponge, and poured the body wash on it. He spread it around his finger, and scrubbed himself clean. The glycerine penetrated his skin, and the smell managed to transport him to his Empire. Conquering over the world, Sonic the Hedgehog dead where he stood as he taunted Robotnik, humans working for him.
The scourging sun painted the landscape vermilion. Just like in his dreams. A factory there, a powerplant here, another factory smoking over a smaller one. Those would come true eventually. No one would be able to stop him one day, and he will win.
Applying the other two body wash was simple. Using two different sponges to spread them on his body, where the scents overpowered his fantasies. With step 12 out of the way, Robotnik began to pour the bath. His muscles needed to relax. Hovering over a keyboard and screens all day was not easy on his back.
Robotnik never considered himself old. His baldness was an genetic inevitably that he embraced when he started losing his hair at the start of his adulthood. He still had his moustache, and that was all that mattered. Crouching and reading screens all day? It put a test to his body not even running could challenge.
He was not old. But his career didn't make it easy on him.
Thus, the warm water that penetrated his skin relieved his muscles. He let out a satisfied sigh, sinking in further than necessary. He was a highly intelligent man, but he needed to indulge once and a while.
This part of the routine only served to relax him. Getting creative drive could be hard some days, and a bath always remedied that drive. He only needed a couple of minutes in the bath. Robotnik, once done, pulled out the plug, and rinsed himself one last time before grabbing the towel.
He dried in the bathtub, making sure his body was completely dry. Living around robots made it imperative that no water ended on the floor. The risks were too high. The towel went everywhere, and to spare you from the details, we have decided to interrupt this guide with an image of a kitten. Be sure to look at it carefully, and do not stir your attention onto Dr. Ivo Robotnik. It would be pure indecent to do so.
Once Robotnik had a towel wrapped around his waist, he went on his moustache care. The moustache cream could get onto his clothes, and he would rather have those unblemished by any accident.
He didn't want to give the rodent another reason to taunt him.
Steps 20 to 26 were dedicated to his moustache. He knew the steps by heart, taught by his father, the best of the best. It was important to dry the moustache before applying any sort of cream. Brushing it and using a washcloth to that effective were two methods that were indispensable for drying the facial hair.
If drying it with a washcloth didn't work, brushing it was the next step. His father often told him to never use a blow-dryer. It would fry the ends of the hair, rendering it impossible to manipulate at will. Going over patting it with the cloth and brushing it with a comb were how Robotnik managed to dry his moustache.
He smirked when his moustache dried, just as planned. He applied the cream on the hair, and brushed it to have every strands together and coated with the cream. It was times like these that Robotnik was thankful to not have any hair. Taking care of a moustache and hair? That would simply be too much. He was too proud of his moustache to give up this precious time on anything else.
With the cream coating every moustache hair, he patted the strands with a washcloth. It needed some drying time before applying the gel to keep it in place. Once that was done, he brushed it to the desired shape. Bushy enough to make him look mad, but tidy enough to make him look professional.
He glanced at his reflection on the mirror and grinned. His moustache was pristine, just like it should be. The last two steps were reserved for him dressing up. Within those two last steps were many little steps, like putting a leg in each pant-hole and zipping up his coat, but he always managed to keep his routine at 28 steps.
The sun had set once he got out of the bathroom. Orbot and Cubot were waiting for him. Robotnik gave them a quirked eyebrow.
"Well?"
Orbot and Cubot glanced at each other before Orbot stepped forth.
"Sir, your magnificent observatory telescope detected, surprisingly, something unusual."
"And it's not Wisps, sir!"
Robotnik grinned and walked to his computer, Orbot and Cubot trailing not far behind. Finally, something that would help him conquer the world.