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"Casablanca!"
Jiyong raises a brow as he looks with a timeless fondness at his Seunghyun.
A look that had been on standby for years at this point, reserved for one and only.
"Repeating it won't make me magically know what you're talking about..."
"Casablanca. Absolute Classic. Huge post-war cinema Icon."
Jiyong giggles carelessly, as Seunghyun stares at him wide-eyed.
"You're babbling like you always do whenever movies get brought up-"
"Films, Jiyongshi, they're films. Also im not babbling, im just... surprised. I just thought Casablanca was a well-known film."
Seunghyun comes to wrap his arms around Jiyong, kissing the back of his neck, then his cheek before resting his chin on Jiyong's shoulder. Jiyong chuckles at the affectionate gestures that seem to come so naturally, taking a drag of his cigarrete while he looks at Seunghyun from the corner of his eye.
Seunghyun looks at the skyline fondly, seemingly getting lost in thought. His thumb rubs Jiyongs side as they simply stand on the hotel balcony in silence, they seem to be immune to the chilly may night breeze as they bloom in eachothers arm, becoming spring itself.
Jiyong's eyes follows Seunghyun's, watching the bright city of Los Angeles. A certain peace and quiet being found in the heart of the busy city.
---
Seunghyun and Jiyong had not been able to meet eachother in... well, years. They have occasionally texted eachtoher, but it wasn't a common occurrence since they were scared of their conversations getting leaked as it has happened before. Even then, texting and actually physically being there besides the other is a completely different thing.
When the miracle of their schedules aligning was brought to Jiyong's attention, he had immediately teared up. One day and one night in the same city; this was their chance, they could meet.
After finding out he'd be able to see his Hyung again, the days counting down to that date were a slow blurr. Anything and everything that happend in that time period was simply not important enough for Jiyong to care in the slightest, why should he? He was going to meet Seunghyun.
After a stressful day of performing, entertaining the press, and finally, sneaking around, Jiyong had found himself walking into the presidential suite of the The Four Seasons hotel, hands and breath shaky. Only a few steps in, he finally notices a figure standing on the balcony, leaning on the railing while looking down at the busy street. He'd recognize that man anywhere.
"Choi Seunghyun..."
Seunghyun's head snaps back as he's startled out of his thoughts, but as soon as he registers just who is standing by the doorway, he breaks into a shy smile.
"Jiyongshi..."
---
As they stare into the city, Jiyong places his free hand over Seunghyun's, squeezing it three times.
"We should watch it sometime. Casablanca. If you say it's good I fully believe that."
Seunghyun raises a brow, teasingly squeezing his waist.
"I thought you weren't much of a film person."
"I'm not. I still want to watch it with you, though. If it means something to you, I want to be part of it in any way I can."
At the words Seunghyun burrows his face into the other's neck, Jiyong can feel just how warm his cheeks are.
There's a pause in the conversation and Jiyong can basically hear the gears turning in Seunghyun's head.
"We're getting old..."
Jiyong raises a brow at Seunghyun's words but he doesn't move in fear of breaking the moment. Instead, he contents himself with simply whispering back.
"We've wasted too many years, Hyung... We're growing old, that's true, that's why I want us to be together again."
Jiyong's lip quivers ever so slightly.
"I want to grow old with you, Hyung."
Silence again. For a while it's only silence, their soft breaths and speeding cars below being the only sounds.
After a while Seunghyun straightens up and by the waist, turns Jiyong to face him.
He was just as perfect as they day they had met, more than twenty years ago at this point. He brings a hand up to caress his soft face, starting by his cheeks, then his jaw, then his chin, then his bottom lip. Jiyong simply looks up to him while Seunghyun memorizes his face. Something he had been doing ever since they had started seeing eachtoher back in 2005. It was a grounding thing for Seunghyun, a reminder that no matter what, Jiyong was still Jiyong. His Jiyong.
They lock eyes, rehearsed words about their past and their future flashing in both of their faces. It was obvious they had to talk, it was obvious they had to clear up things up, explain instances, confess feelings... but in the end, that was all quickly forgotten when they had eachtoher in their arms. Words replaced by actions that were long overdue.
Seunghyun parts his lips as if he's about to say something, Jiyong's ears perk up at the sight, but instead of speaking his mind, he decides to cover the action up by leaning down for a kiss.
The kiss is bitter. So bitter that at first Jiyong's face contorts into a grimace, his hands flying up to get a hold of Seunghyun's shoulders as if that would help. Jiyong can't help it when he tears up, frosty tears fall down his cheeks. Seldom did Jiyong ever cry, but this time he just couldn't hold it back, because well, there was no need. He was safe in his Hyung's arms.
The kiss turns quickly turns sweet as Seunghyun deepens it, hoping the words he had swallowed early can transfer into Jiyong's mouth, that way he can know without Seunghyun having to say it.
Had loving always been this hard? He doesn't remember it this way, he remembers kissing Jiyong and his whole world shattering in the best way. Butterflies in his stomach and an intense sense of accomplishment. He was kissing the only man, no, the only person he had ever loved after all.
Instead, now he was faced with fear and loneliness in this kiss. A sense of doom, a hopeless romance. Star-crossed lovers separated by destiny. This couldn't be the end of it. It just couldn't be. So Seunghyun wraps his arms around Jiyong and lifts him up, walking towards the bed.
Life could wait, tonight was a hedonistic reward they had earned by patiently waiting for years for each other.
There would never be no other.
They knew that.
Jiyong closes his eyes and wraps his arms around Seunghyun tighter.
---
Jiyong wakes up with sunlight pecking his face, a result of having forgotten to close the blinds yesterday evening.
The first thing Jiyong notices once awake, is the fact that he's ice cold.
He turns his head slowly to look behind him. Empty.
He has no time to process it however as there's a knock on the door.
Jiyong freezes in place before jumping out of the bed, pulling on a robe and sprinting towards the door, panting at the sudden effort as he grabs the door handle and swings it open.
"Hyung!"
Jiyong is met by an empty hallway that makes his heart drop.
Oh.
He looks around the hallway trying to figure out if at this point he hallucinated the knocking before his eyes land on a breakfast tray placed at the foot of the door.
He picks it up carefully and shuts the door before making his way towards the bed, poking his head into the bathroom on the way just to be sure.
He sets it down on the white fluffy sheets and sits down in front of it.
He stares blankly at it for a while, his mind flooded with the night he had just had and the morning he was currently experiencing.
He's snapped out of his thoughts as he sees a note on top of the breakfast tray. He picks it up with shaky hands, taking a big breath before opening it.
---
-My dearest Jiyongshi,-
-I don't think you'll ever realize the extent of my feelings; perhaps because I've never elaborated them outloud to their full extent, or maybe simply because there is no way to really tell how deep my feelings go. You've made me understand why there have been wars over lost lovers, why Orpheus turned around, why Romeo drank the poison. You have taken over me since I first laid eyes on you, body and mind. I have been yours since the beginning of it all, and i remain so.-
-I must deeply apologize for how things turned out. The betrayal I was responsible for towards not only you but the others is something I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself for, and somehow, not having you seems like a Devine penitence I'm too weak to refuse. You're so bright, Kwon Ji-yong, I mean not to drag you down with my mistakes.-
-We both know it would be a career suicide in Korea to publicly get together. That is why I leave tonight. You have to keep going, Jiyongshi, youre not done shining. You were born an artist and who am I to take that away from you. But the fact that by the time you wake up I'll be gone, means not I love you any less. It just means I will forever wait. I want to marry you one day, I know you know.-
-I write this to you as you sleep beside me and I hope you're having the sweetest dreams. We will see eachother again sooner than we think, perhaps not as lovers, but that also should come in time. I love you. I have loved you forever and there is nothing I could do to forget you. I look for you in everything I do and I remain yours through time. It's for the best we must part now, but I hold you to the promise of watching Casablanca someday. So when you miss me, just remember,-
-We will always have Paris...-
-Breakfast is paid for. Love, Hyung.-