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Wylan Van Eck is 8 and in mourning.
His mother is dead and per his father's demands, he is unable to attend her funeral. So he looks in his mirror, alone in his room, trying to ignore any bitter thoughts in his head and believe me, it's astounding how bitterness a child can have when left to their own defenses.
But I suppose the question is, does Wylan like what he sees?
Is he referring to his father's eyes, the ones that are staring back at him, the subtle difference being that there's grief and vulnerability in those eyes instead of hatred and disgust? Or is he referring to the hair that frames his face, now the only way his mother lives on; in her illiterate son's features, the son doomed to be a failure?
Wylan knows what he'd rather see.
So he focuses on the details that remind him of his mother and promises himself that he'll make her proud, the chords he plays, through the songs he sings, through anyway he can. And maybe, just maybe, he could make his father proud as well.
-----
Wylan Van Eck is 12 and bruised all over.
It wasn't his fault, was it? He tried, he really did. But the words melted into something unreadable, like they always did and when Wylan gave up, he thought he knew what was coming. Some insults from his father, maybe a hit across the face if he was unlucky enough.
But it was worse.
His father just sighed, told Wylan to do better next time and stepped back, letting one of his men beat Wylan until he was on his knees, blood smeared on his face and when he begged for help, his father simply shook his head in disapproval, his tone careless as if he just failed a deal instead of watching his only son get beaten senseless.
"Businessmen don't ask for help unless they have leverage, Wylan. Remember that." Jan Van Eck scolded before holding up a hand, beckoning for his man to stop, sharply telling Wylan to clean himself up before anyone saw him.
Now, Wylan is in front of the mirror, wincing after touching a particularly sensitive bruise. One of his eyes, that once held sparks of joy, then tears from grief are now swollen shut, making it almost impossible for him to see most of his reflection. Not that he wants to, anyways. His hair is disheveled, and the tears that stain his cheek are slipping into the cuts on his face, stinging painfully.
But despite the pain, despite the blood leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, Wylan believes that his father still loves him. He just has to try harder, right? He knows he can make him and of course, his mother, proud.
______
Wylan Van Eck is 16 and drenched.
He's cold, shivering and walking through the streets of the Barrel, ignoring any looks thrown his way. He feels too tired to be angry but he feels betrayed by his father, (Is it truly a betrayal if you expected it?)
He can hardly ask for a room with his voice sounding so hoarse from the attempt of strangulation he survived. He sees his "room" for the time being, the battered bed that looks like it could collapse any second, the mold across the walls and a cracked mirror tossed to the side. He manages to go over to the mirror, seeing his less than tidy appearance.
His hair is still damp and there are marks around his neck, which are still sore as if the hands of his father's men are still trying to strangle him.
He can't see the heir of Jan Van Eck when he looks in the mirror, not anymore. Wylan only sees a boy who resembled a Barrel Rat, a nobody, someone with a blank slate.
But maybe that is what Wylan needs. To be a nobody in the eyes of the Barrel, to set his own path, one that isn't carefully carved out by his father.
No, he can't make his father proud, that much is clear. The heir of Jan Van Eck is dead, but the son of Marya Hendriks survives.
______
Wylan Hendriks is 16 and packing up his things.
No, he doesn't want to go to Shu Han, but he knows there's no going back now. That deal was already sealed when he agreed to make the phosphorus bomb for Kaz Brekker.
If he's being honest, he knew he had stepped into Kaz's world the moment he delivered on his part, but he wished he was wrong. But he wasn't.
And then it got seemingly worse. Jesper Fahey waltzed right back into his life, completely oblivious of the night they had spent together. However this time? Wylan was wrong, and when they got closer and eventually, in Jesper's bed, it might've been the best thing that had ever happened in Wylan's short and miserable life, but then...
"What, can't you read it?"
Wylan had then promptly, and rather embarrassingly, stumbled his way out of the room, muttering about how he needed to pack for the trip. He'd finished shoving chemicals into his bag, when he catches sight of himself in a small mirror that he had bought when he had enough kruge.
He sees flushed cheeks, messy hair and a few healing scrapes on his face. He sees the demolitions man of the Crows, the son of Marya Hendriks, something he wanted but that doesn't stop the sinking feeling in his stomach. He knows the dangerous things he made, the hidden, unopened letters from his father he has, meticulously hidden from everyone, the feeling of guilt and shame when Jesper found about his 'defect' as his father called it.
Regardless of everything he's achieved, he's not proud. But he pushes on, knowing sooner or later, everyone has to face their fears.
______
Wylan Hendriks is almost 17 and finally happy.
He has a home, a family or some semblance of it, he has Jesper. He passes a mirror, seeing his reflection and I think I'll let that tell you what happened.
His hair is still messy, most of the injuries he got in the final fight for Ravka are healed, the light brown overcoat he wears is still a bit too big for him. And last but certainly not least, there's a ring on his index finger, crudely made, flaws visible but nonetheless perfect. It's a gift from Jesper, something to show how he's coming to terms with and embracing his Grisha abilities. Wylan loves it and it's one of his most prized possessions, aside from his flute.
He smooths out his clothes, or at least, tries to, before heading downstairs. Kaz mentioned a new job, something to do with the Fjerdan Ice Court? Definitely risky, dangerous and life threatening but Wylan's not that worried. Sure, he noticed Kaz staring at him like a thief who had found his next score, and no, he doesn't know who's paying the Crows to carry out the heist either.
But, then again, he's seen shadow monsters, the nichevo'ya? Wylan thinks, trying to remember the name.
So, even with the little voice in his head telling him something bad is going to happen, he ignores that warning in his mind.
It can't be that bad. Can it?