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//
Kate squinted at the towering display of New Avengers Crunch cereal. The cheerful, heroic designs practically screamed at her, and—most importantly—the box promised a limited edition Yelena Belova action figure inside.
She already had a few boxes in her arms.
Okay, maybe more than a few. Maybe a dozen. Okay, twenty. But who was counting?
Kate was about to grab another when a familiar, booming voice rang out. "Ah-ha! Kate Bishop! You too have come for the best cereal ever endorsed by the Red Guardian and New Avengers!?"
Kate nearly jumped, spinning around to see Alexei standing there, hands on his hips, grinning like a proud dad who'd just caught his kid being a superhero. He didn't even need to do his sales pitch—his face lit up when he saw her mountain of cereal boxes.
"My girl!" He gave her a giant thumbs-up. "Supporting the brand! Such dedication! Yelena will be so proud—"
"Yeah, sure, proud." Kate's laugh was a little nervous. "Um, you won't tell her, right?"
"Tell her?! I will tell the world! 'Kate Bishop: Number One Avenger Crunch Fan!'"
"Okay, bye!" Kate bolted for the checkout, cheeks burning as Alexei proudly waved her off.
//
Back at the apartment, Kate tried to sneak in quietly. It almost worked. Almost.
Yelena's voice cut through the air like a knife. "Kate. What. Is. That."
Kate turned, caught red-handed with a stack of cereal boxes practically spilling from her arms. "Uh... I just went to the grocery store?"
"Grocery store?" Yelena crossed her arms, staring down the cereal tower. "It looks like you just committed a robbery."
"They... they have this new toy inside!" Kate's voice went from guilty to defensive in a heartbeat. "And it's you! A tiny, adorable you!"
Yelena leaned against the doorframe, arms still crossed, her gaze never leaving Kate. "Let me get this straight... you raided an entire cereal aisle because of a toy. A toy of me."
Kate's cheeks flushed. "Well, yeah! And I thought maybe you'd find it cute, you know? Me... collecting you."
"Collecting me." Yelena's lips twitched, barely holding back a smirk. "You know you don't need a miniature me. You have the full-sized, perfect version right here."
Kate blinked, then her lips stretched into a sheepish grin. "Well, yeah, but... tiny Yelena would be fun to carry around."
"You are like a child, Kate Bishop." Yelena's voice was all sass, but there was a warmth in her eyes. "Fine, open them. Maybe you get your precious little me."
"Ha! You just want to see if I get one!" Kate chirped, already tearing into the first box. The cereal spilled out into a messy pile on the kitchen counter, and she dug through it until her fingers found the little plastic bag.
She ripped it open. "Oh. Ava." She blinked at the ghostly figure in her hand. "Well, that's fine. Next one!"
Box after box, Kate's excitement gradually turned to mild panic. She'd tear the box, sift through the cereal, and find... "Another Ava? Seriously?"
"You should've seen this coming." Yelena's smile grew.
But Kate was on a mission now. "No, no, no—I've got this. I WILL get you."
Another box. "Red Guardian. Ugh. Maybe I should give this to Alexei."
Yelena laughed. "He will think you finally see his greatness."
Another. "Bucky. Again? I swear he's everywhere."
Another. "Walker. Of course."
Three more—Bob, Bob, and... "Bob. WHY SO MANY BOBS?!"
Yelena tried to hide her laughter behind her hand, but it escaped in giggles. "Oh, this is amazing. My brave little archer, outmatched by breakfast."
"I... this..." Kate looked at the counter, which was now a chaotic mountain of cereal and discarded toy wrappers. "How can there be NO Yelena? This is criminal."
Yelena pushed off the doorframe, walking over and plucking one of the Ava toys. "You know... if you really wanted a mini me, you could just ask me to stand very still."
Kate pouted, lower lip jutting out. "But I wanted it to be a surprise. Like, 'Hey, look! I got you!' And now I have nothing but a cereal avalanche and a bunch of... side characters."
Yelena's heart did a little flip at that adorable pout. She leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Kate's lips. "You already have me, idiot."
But Kate was still upset. She didn't get the mini version of Yelena, and most importantly, she had to eat all that up.
Kate looked at Yelena, her eyes growing wide, shimmering like two tragic lakes. Her lower lip trembled ever so slightly—a classic, carefully perfected puppy-eye technique. "Yelena... I can't eat them up all by myself..." She whimpered, nudging the opened boxes toward Yelena with a gentle push.
Yelena raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "No." She said flatly.
"Please?" Kate leaned in, amplifying the watery-eyed effect, the universal weapon of the helpless.
Yelena's expression remained as solid as a granite statue. "Cute. But no."
Defeated, Kate let out a dramatic sigh, staring into her future breakfast abyss.
Yelena rolled her eyes, but there was a faint smile at the corner of her mouth. Finally, she grabbed her phone. "Okay. Fine. I am calling those idiots over. They can eat it, or I will make them eat it."
//
Fifteen minutes later, the living room was a chaotic gathering of cereal and the new Avengers.
"Wow, I've never seen this much cereal outside of a grocery store." Bob mumbled, clutching two boxes.
"Kate went on a hunt and got everything but what she wanted." Yelena smirked, leaning against the kitchen counter, arms folded.
Walker peered at the tiny figures lined up on the table. "Wait, so you got eight Avas and no Yelena? That's brutal."
"Maybe it's a sign." Ava grinned, phasing her hand through a cereal box and snagging a handful without even opening it. "Clearly, I'm the fans' favorite."
Bucky picked up a Bob figure, raising an eyebrow. "And here I thought I'd be the popular one. But poor Bob's outnumbering me."
"I just... I just wanted one tiny Yelena."
"And instead you have an army of cereal and disappointments." Yelena teased, giving her a side hug.
Walker started stacking the toy figures. "You know, if you stack all the Avas together, it looks like a creepy little army."
"Of course it does. I am the most powerful." Ava grinned, waving a ghostly hand through the tower.
"Why are there so many Bobs?" Bucky asked, shaking his head. "I didn't even know he was in the set."
"Uh... hi. I'm right here." Bob raised a hand, trying not to look too hurt, but the awkwardness radiated off him.
Ava leaned over, patting his shoulder with a gentle smile. "Don't worry, Bob. The Winter Soldier is just jealous of your overwhelming popularity."
Bucky scoffed, tossing the Bob figure into the growing pile. "Jealous? Please. I have my own action figures."
"Yes, but do they swarm the market like an army of Bobs?" Walker teased, waving one of the tiny Bobs like a flag.
Kate let out a dramatic sigh, resting her forehead against Yelena's shoulder.
"See, Kate? This is the universe telling you to be satisfied with the real thing." Yelena gently bumped her shoulder.
"But..." Kate's pout deepened. "I still want a tiny you."
"Fine." Yelena sighed, pulled out her phone, and dialed. "Hello, Alexei? Yes, I need you to go to your little marketing friends and get me one of those little toys in the cereal box. No, not Red Guardian. Not Bucky. It's me. Yeah. Yelena Belova. How many? Maybe twenty. Yes, I will pay you in free food. Just get them."
Kate's eyes sparkled. "Really?"
"Yes, really. But you owe me." Yelena's tone was mock-serious, but her smile was warm. "And no more cereal heists."
"I promise!" Kate beamed, wrapping her arms around Yelena's neck. "I love you."
Yelena didn't say anything and she just kissed her, a soft, lingering kiss that had Kate's cheeks turning pink.
"Aw, gross. I came for free food, not free romance." Walker grumbled, grabbing another box.
"You don't like it? There's a door. Use it." Yelena shot back, her arms tightening around Kate.
"I'd prefer you to throw him out of the window." Ava said, smirking at Walker, who was just literally rolling his eyes.
Bob cleared his throat, raising a hesitant hand. "Uh, I can take five boxes of those? I'm... I really like eating cereal."
"Yeah. Sure. You can even take ten." Kate replied, smile softening.
//
And true to his word, Alexei actually did contact his marketing friends. With a flurry of dramatic calls, boisterous laughter, and some vaguely threatening enthusiasm of course.
Two days later, he showed up at the apartment, grinning like a proud father.
"Kate Bishop! Lena! Rejoice, for your hero has arrived!" Alexei bellowed, practically kicking the door open with a flourish.
Kate looked up from the kitchen counter, where she was halfway through her third bowl of leftover cereal. Yelena raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Alexei, if this is another one of your stories—"
But Alexei swept in like a whirlwind, dumping a massive cardboard box on the kitchen table. The flaps sprang open, revealing...
Tiny Yelenas. Dozens of them.
Kate's jaw dropped. "Oh my god."
"Twenty tiny Yelenas, as requested!" Alexei declared, puffing out his chest. "And—of course—some honorable Red Guardians! Because every collection needs greatness."
Yelena leaned over the box, peering in, and sure enough, nestled among the tiny Yelenas were several tiny Red Guardians, each with his heroic pose and a beaming grin.
"Oh, wow. It's... a lot." Yelena's voice was somewhere between amused and exasperated.
Kate, however, was vibrating with joy. She carefully reached in, lifting out a tiny Yelena figure and holding it like it was a precious artifact. "Look! Look, Yel! I have you! A whole army of you!"
Yelena crossed her arms, trying to hide her smile. "Great. Now you'll never be alone. You have an army of me to keep you company."
"Exactly! And they're all adorable!" Kate's voice was almost squeaky with happiness.
"Do not forget about the Red Guardians!" Alexei boomed, gesturing to his own miniature army. "True heroism in plastic form!"
Yelena leaned closer to Kate, whispering, "Maybe we can bury those in the backyard later."
Kate giggled, her eyes still glued to her mini-Yelena collection. "Best. Day. Ever."
"And you have me to thank!" Alexei declared, taking a seat and immediately grabbing one of the leftover cereal boxes. "The power of connections, my girls. Red Guardian always delivers!"
"Yes, yes. Very heroic." Yelena rolled her eyes, though her arm found its way around Kate's shoulders, squeezing her gently.
Kate cuddled against her, a bright smile never leaving her face. "Thank you, Alexei."
"Anything for my little family!" Alexei beamed and swept them both into a massive bear hug, his arms wrapping around Yelena and Kate like a protective, crushing blanket, oblivious to Yelena's mock groan.
But she didn't push him away. Not this time.