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Leia gathers herself, draws in a sharp straining breath. She wants to clench her hands in her skirts, crumple the delicate fabric underneath them, but she isn't willing to allow even that much of a flaw, let that much of a hint of worry show. Instead, she breathes out in the long, slow exhales that Luke showed her so long ago, calming her mind and her body. She will get through this with her dignity intact, if not her self respect.
The open plaza is ringed with guards, but it's unlikely that anyone will consider this an occasion worthy of attack. The few remaining supporters of the Republic are likely just as uninterested in freeing her as the last members of the Resistance. Leia has seen the announcements of this event, seen herself kneeling gracefully in front of the Emperor as he smiles beneficently down on her, seen herself begging his pardon and asking the chance to swear fealty to his cause. All holo-mainip, to be sure, but so carefully done that even the most skilled technician might not be able to pull apart the seams.
And she knows how it's been presented. “The mother of the Knight-consort has seen the error of her ways!” “Leia Organa turns to the Empire!” “Knight-consort Kylo Ren reunited with estranged mother Leia Organa, Galactic Exclusive!” All headlines screaming her betrayal across the void of space. What does it matter that she has not betrayed the Resistance, what does it matter that a tiny glimmer of new hope has quickened in her chest in the days since she last saw the emperor? The entire galaxy knows differently.
Maybe, Leia reflects, it's for the best. If they think her cowed, perhaps the emperor will think so as well. Perhaps this has a chance of succeeding.
A thin young woman in a lieutenant's uniform taps her on the shoulder, smiling a little meanly. Of course these officers know the truth, and have made it clear to her in no uncertain terms that they intend to keep a close eye on her because of it.
“Time to go, Organa.” Leia takes a deep breath. Time to put on a show.
The crowd quiets as she steps out of the speeder, looks across the plaza to the dais at the other end. It's raised almost six feet above the level of the plaza itself, and crowned by a chair raised another three steps. Along the dais are seated men and women who Leia thinks are members of the small council, direct advisors to the emperor himself. There's an empty chair in their row. They, themselves, are hard faced in the stiff backed chairs, in their uniforms and formal robes. They're irrelevant.
The make-shift throne is only a chair of dark wood, but the emperor looks as confident on it as he did in his palace those days ago. He's relaxed, ankles crossed, wearing a slight smirk. With a thin circlet of gold and his jet black uniform, he's coldly beautiful, the sneering god of a blind nation with an avenging angel hovering nearby. For there is Ben, curled up at the emperor's feet as always. He's wearing black robes just as the last time Leia saw him, but these seem finer, better kept. Unlike any of the others on the dais, he isn't staring across the plaza to where Leia stands, shining against the dark in her white gown. Instead, his face is upturned, gaze fixed on the emperor. As Hux stands, as the small council hurries to echo him, Ben is also the only still member of that company. He hardly moves, yet his face is painted almost with ecstasy as the emperor begins to speak.
“Today marks the fulfillment of the dream of peace. Today is the end of rebellion, of chaos, of division across all our great empire. Today marks a day when we accept even those who, in pride and ignorance, thought to defy the empire. If the leader of the Resistance itself can come to see the truth, can bow to our rule, then we have truly brought order to the galaxy. After having served time in prison, having accepted her punishment, Leia Organa stands before us today a changed woman. We welcome her to the empire, and Kylo Ren and I welcome her to our family.” There's a rising swell of applause and Leia bites her tongue to keep from being sick.
It's a pretty speech, all things considered. Hux's eyes shine, and his smile holds just the right amount of warmth. The cheers continue as Leia makes her way across the plaza, flanked by the ever present guards. She keeps her eyes fixed on Ben. If she remembers why she is doing this, she can make it through today. If not...
The cheers are dying down as she finally reaches the steps, holds up her skirt to climb to the level of the small council. There are no smiles on their faces, the blank masks of those tasked with something utterly distasteful. Ben is on his feet, two steps down from the emperor, gaze impassive. He seems to look through her, as if not really interested in her existence. She wonders if he sees her at all. As she reaches the center of the dais, she kneels, spreading her skirts out around her. She can't help but think about the last time she wore an identical dress, about Luke and Han's faces as she draped medals about their necks. Both dead now, and a small part of her mind whispers that they're better off that way, better off not seeing this, feeling this.
“Leia Organa, do you repent of your resistance to the First Order, and to the empire?” It is a member of the small council that speaks, voice a grating rumble. Her mouth feels like lead.
“I do.” He steps back and another member steps forward, a woman this time.
“Do you renounce any oaths you have taken to combat the empire or the First Order?” Her hands are sweating again, but she presses them firmly together, ignoring it.
“I do.” She's trembling a little now, bites her tongue again to control it.
“Do you repent of your rebellion against the First Galactic Empire?” Her soul feels like it is being torn apart.
“I do.”
“Do you revoke all membership in rebellious organizations or groups?” This one is easier. She's certain she's been expelled already.
“I do.”
“Do you forswear the Jedi, their false beliefs, and their tainted use of the Force?” Her heart cries out an apology to Luke, pulsing out silent sorrow to him.
“I do.”
“Will you serve your empire well, forsaking all other authorities and bonds?” It's the last member of the small council that speaks, and Leia's stomach turns over.
“I will.” The emperor takes a step down from his chair, is standing level with her son, joining their hands together as the united front of imperial power. His voice is calm, yet his glance bores into her, as if daring her to protest, to balk.
“Leia Organa, you have repudiated your former beliefs and shown yourself worthy of acceptance by the empire. You have sworn to serve that empire. Now swear once more. Swear your loyalty to the throne, to the imperial family, and to me. Swear to obey and serve.” There is a gleam of triumph shimmering in the back of Hux's cold eyes. If her mouth felt like led before, it's become full of cotton, her chest tight. Yet she manages to get the words out.
“I swear to obey and serve the empire. I swear my loyalty to the throne, to the imperial family, and to you, Emperor Hux. I swear on the Light, the Dark, and the living Force.” Leia is choking down bile. To even consider breaking this oath. And yet, even as she says it, she can feel the push to do so in the back of her mind. Hux smiles at her, the grin of a wolf.
“Listen, my people, to the words of Leia Organa, and know that any can find redemption, can find the way to the peace of the empire. Know that empire is as beneficent as it is just.” He looks back at Leia, smiles that politician's grin. “Rise, mother, and join your family, embrace your sons. Then sit with us a while while we celebrate this day.” There's a cruel sparkle in Hux's eyes as he steps down yet again, reaches a hand down to draw her off her knees. This had not been in the instructions she'd received, and for a moment she feels faint. Then he's enfolding her in a tight embrace, pressing his mouth close to her ear.
“This, my dear Organa, is what feels like to be a traitor. Welcome to the family... mother.” Then he's stepping back, climbing up to his seat. A quick nod of his head, and Ben is stepping forward to pull her into his arms as well. They're thick, strong, and Leia wonders, ludicrously, how her son could possibly have grown so much. He has an odd, coppery smell about him, too cold and yet somehow primal, musky. He's stepping back before she can register anything else, sinking down to Hux's feet gracefully, despite his bulk. Leia finally moves, making her way to the empty chair. She feels as though the warmth in her body has drained out, and all that is left is a husk of a woman, scoured clean and empty.
One of the small council has risen, is speaking to the crowd. Leia hardly hears, stays seated stiffly on her chair with her skirts spread about her. She glances to her right, to the raised platform. Hux has gotten his hand tangled in her son's hair again, and Ben seems almost to be purring. She relaxes just a little. The rest of the so-called imperial family seem to be paying just as little attention to the speaker as she is. She can take a moment to collect herself.
Leia tries to center herself using Luke's exercises again, but the calm hovers just outside of her reach. She almost laughs hysterically, but swallows it, knowing that if she starts, she many never stop. Of course she can't use Luke's exercises. She has rejected them, rejected everything she has ever believed in. In swearing today she is forsworn to all that ever mattered to her. And for what? For a son who does not even seem to care she exists? For a son who looks at a man who has murdered millions with adoration deeper than any she has ever felt or can imagine? For a vain hope that she might pull that man, more powerful than any since Palpatine, off his throne?
Leia stiffens her back, lifts her chin. Yes. For that, and for the chance to continue to fight, just as she always has.