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Pants are something easily taken for granted. All four of the mercenaries who went into Valentina's vault that fateful day were wearing pants. They weren't thinking about how convenient the pants were when they started fighting, when they managed to avoid bumping into anything, when they stopped fighting, or when they worked together to escape the doomed room with seconds to spare. As it was, they had just enough time to slam the doors down behind themselves before fire erupted into the storage room. No time to think about pants.
The fire on the other side of the door was scorching hot - the four mercenaries could feel the heat even through the thick, steel door. There was a collective sigh of relief as they mentally regrouped from their near-immolation. That was when Ghost noticed Task Master had left her shield in the vault.
"Well now that that's taken care of..." she swung her handgun in her target's direction and fired.
It was a sloppy shot, foiled by the fact that Antonia moved the moment before Ava pulled the trigger. The bullet embedded itself into the wall behind her with a small burst of concrete.
There was a series of yells, followed by a flurry of gunshots, kicks, and punches as the fight from the vault resumed. They were so preoccupied, they didn't notice the muffled banging coming from the steel door, nor the fact that it was beginning to dent out from the inside. It wasn't until a fist smashed through, letting in the sounds of the inferno, that everyone stopped and looked.
"Hey!" A frantic voice came from the other side. "Let me out!"
The four mercenaries looked at each other in bewilderment. A second later, the hole in the door split open as two hands pried the solid steel apart and someone stumbled through. Someone very much not on fire. Nor wearing pants.
Antonia was the first to speak, mask folding open.
"... Am I the only one seeing this?"
"The naked man who just smashed through the door?" Yelena said. "I'm seeing it."
"I'm seeing it too." Walker said.
"I'm seeing it too." Ava said. "And I wish I hadn't."
The stranger looked just as bewildered as they were.
"Hi... I- I didn't know I could do that." he jabbed his thumb at the hole in the vault door.
Walker pointed his gun at the man.
"Okay, who are you, and how did you get in here."
The man held his hands up.
"I'm Bob- I don't- I don't know what I'm doing here. I was just sitting down - getting my blood drawn, you know - and next thing I knew there was fire everywhere-"
"Bullshit." Walker cocked the gun. "People don't just walk out of fire and smash through doors."
Bob's hands wavered.
"I mean it! I don't know how-"
"He could have been in one of the crates." Antonia said. "OXE research project."
"It would make sense." Ava added.
"It's the only thing that makes sense." Yelena stated. "Walker, put the gun down."
"Why? He could be one of Valentina's backup weapons meant to kill us if we escaped."
Bob held his hands up higher.
"Whoah woah woah, no! I don't even know who you guys are!"
"Fire doesn't hurt him, and he's strong enough to rip through metal." Antonia stated. "If he had been sent to kill us, we'd probably already be dead."
There was a moment of silence.
"Hey uh, does anyone have spare clothes?" Bob asked.
Everyone glanced around the bare room for something Bob could use to cover up. There was nothing. Except...
"Walker, give him the shield." Yelena said.
"What?! No!"
Three guns suddenly trained on him.
"Give him the shield."
Walker adjusted his stance with a scowl.
"Make me."
Bullets ricocheted off Walker's shield as the vault fight resumed, but this time, three against one.
Bob waved his hands.
"Hey, it's ok! This isn't necessa-"
"YES IT IS!" The three women yelled in unison.
Between the three of them, they managed to get Knockoff Captain America into a lock hold long enough to pry the shield loose. Yelena quickly tossed it to Bob.
"There! Appreciate it!"
"I'm appreciating!" He slid his arm into the straps and held the shield in front of himself.
Antonia released Walker from the wrestling hold. Walker picked himself up, glaring at everyone in the room. He pointed at Bob.
"You're giving that back at the first pair of pants we find. Got it?!"
Bob nodded vigorously. Ava spoke up.
"Aren't we supposed to be killing each other?"
Everyone looked at each other. Yelena sighed.
"What's the point? Valentina isn't going to pay us for this."
Guns when back into holsters.
"She's probably sending people to finish us off now." Antonia said.
Guns came out of holsters.
"Let's focus on getting out of here first." Yelena said. "She might not even know we're still alive."
Guns went back into holsters.
The elevator was dead. Walker managed to punch through the roof of the cabin so they could access the shaft, but there were no ladders or handholds they could use to get higher.
"Do any of us fly?" Yelena asked, "Or do we all just punch and shoot?"
"... Um, I can try?" Bob said.
Everyone looked at him. He shrugged uncertainly.
"I just found out I'm strong and fireproof. What if..."
Bob rocketed up into the air. The mercenaries stared up the dark elevator shaft in surprise as he quickly disappeared from view. Several seconds later they heard a distant 'Ow!', followed by a rain of concrete bits. A few seconds later, Bob swooshed back down the shaft, landing on his feet, grinning.
"Yeah, I can fly!"
There was a long silence as the others gawked at him. Then Yelena spoke.
"You know what? Question time later. Bob, get us up there."
Bob made short work of using one hand to ferry the others one by one to the top, his other hand keeping a tight grip on the shield. The others said nothing until they'd reassembled in the lobby.
"So now..." Walker started, walking to the front door, "We get Bob pants, and then go our separate ways and pretend this never happened, right?"
He hit the button for the door. Artificial light flooded in. Three mercenaries and Bob quickly ducked out of view.
"Shit!" Yelena hissed.
"Looks like they're sending a group in." Antonia said, peeking around the corner.
"Great. Give me my shield."
"Not till we get Bob some pants!"
"What do you expect me to do, hide behind him till we get out?!"
The arguing continued for a solid minute. Bob tried to break in, saying he'd be happy to give the shield up if it meant they got out alive. Yelena and Antonia drowned him out. Finally, a fifth voice materialized behind them.
"Here." Ava said loudly, pulling something out from inside her jumpsuit and throwing it at the group.
It was a pair of SWAT team pants. Grateful, Bob quickly put them on and handed Walker his shield back while they threw together a plan that might possibly get them all out alive. Meanwhile, there was a commotion growing outside. Something about 'someone took his pants'.