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“I need to call an exorcist, and will offer you my firstborn child if you let me sleep over here tonight,” Tony greeted as soon as Bucky opened the door. “Please say yes. I don’t want to be that person in the first two minutes of a Supernatural episode,” he added when Bucky didn’t say anything right away.
Bucky blinked owlishly at him, then stepped back and opened the door wider in invitation.
“I’ll make us some coffee,” he said, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. “I feel like this story needs caffeine.”
In retrospect, Tony’s first clue should have been the guy running out of the apartment in terror when the building manager showed it to him. In his defense, though, he’d been desperate, the little money he had left in his bank account after Howard had cut him off a constant flashing sign in the back of his head.
Also, the guy that had been stepping out of the apartment next door without a shirt on was really, really hot.
“As you can see, the previous tenant will be moving out immediately,” the building manager said without so much as blinking, apparently unperturbed by the outburst.
Tony tore his eyes away from ogling the hot guy’s abs to nod, and glanced down the hall to where the scared man had disappeared. “Uh, right. Is he…?”
Okay? On fire? Prone to outbursts of terror? Tony wasn’t sure what he was about to say, since whatever it was flew right out the window when Hot Guy caught his eye and broke into a huge smile.
“Hey, Phil. You bringing in some new blood?” Hot Guy asked, turning his attention to the building manager after winking at Tony.
Phil-the-building-manager’s expression didn’t so much as twitch. “Only if Mr. Stark wants the apartment,” he said, nodding towards the still-open door.
Hot Guy’s smile faltered as his eyes darted between Tony and the apartment door. “Really?” he asked in surprise. “What happened to, uh…”
“Gary didn’t work out,” Phil replied mildly. “Don’t we have a strict no-nudity in the halls policy, Mr. Barnes?” he added, seemingly noticing Barnes’s state of (un)dress for the first time.
Barnes blinked and looked down at himself, then smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Er, yeah… sorry, I was changing when I heard all the yelling, and…”
“Oh, I really don’t mind,” Tony was quick to assure, a little thrill going through him when Barnes rewarded him with a smirk.
“Still, I’d hate to give Mrs. Michaels a heart attack,” Barnes said, winking and offering Tony his hand. Tony took it without thinking, his mouth going dry at the way the guy’s arm muscles flexed. “James Barnes,” he added. “But you can call me Bucky. Most everyone does.”
“Tony,” Tony said, giving Bucky his widest, flirtiest grin and ignoring Phil, who cleared his throat pointedly. “So, possible neighbor - anything I should know before I move in? Besides how amazing the scenery is,” he added, letting his eyes roam over Bucky’s torso again.
Bucky’s mouth twitched. “The walls have excellent sound-proofing, and the neighbors are discreet, but also very friendly,” he said innocently, before side-eyeing Phil and leaning in a little more to add, “Some more than others.”
Tony nodded and tried not to swallow his tongue, deciding that the building had just gotten much more appealing. “Sounds like a plus,” he said, trying to keep his voice even.
There was a promise in Bucky’s expression, but before he could say anything else Phil - who must have finally had enough of their flirting - tapped Tony on the shoulder.
“Mr. Stark, the apartment?” he reminded Tony, head tilted towards the door. “I’m afraid we’re on a timetable…”
Tony coughed. “Oh, right, uh…” He looked back over at Bucky, who took a step back and inclined his head towards Phil.
“I’ll leave you to it, then,” he said, winking at Tony again and walking back towards his door. “If you do decide to move in and you need anything, you give me a buzz, alright?” he told Tony, hand resting on the doorknob.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Tony promised, and gave him a jaunty salute, which Bucky returned with a grin.
“If I tell you he’s single, will that encourage you to rent this apartment?” Phil asked as soon as Bucky closed his door.
Tony didn’t reply, mostly because the answer was yes.
The apartment wasn’t huge, but it was still a lot bigger than Tony had expected. In fact, the whole thing was better than he’d expected, or at least better than the ad had suggested. It had an open floor plan with plenty of space for him to work - which was perfect - and a decent-sized bedroom and bathroom.
It was really rather nice - too nice, considering the price.
When Tony said as much to Phil, the man shrugged.
“We’ve had some problems with long-term renters,” he replied vaguely. “And there’s been a few complaints about the electric - which has all been inspected, so everything is safe and in working order, I assure you.”
Tony nodded. Not really a big deal - at least for him, anyway. If something did go wrong he could probably fix it easily on his own.
“Oh, and there’s a problem with the furnace,” Phil continued, tone odd as he added, “It’s been replaced three times in the last year, but it keeps going out and leaving the place a bit… cold.”
Tony blinked and cocked his head at the man’s strange manner, thinking that that sounded like another easy fix. And besides -
“It’s the middle of summer,” he pointed out. “I won’t be needing heat anytime soon anyway.”
Phil shrugged uneasily, looking apprehensive for the first time since Tony had met him. “Even so, it gets a bit cold in here.” he repeated, before his mask of indifference returned. “So what do you think? There hasn’t been much interest, so if you’d like to think about it -”
“I’ll take it,” Tony said, pulling out his phone and shooting Bruce a text. “When can I move in?”
Tony found out what Phil had meant about the cold the first night spent in his new apartment. And Tony used the term ‘cold’ very loosely - ‘arctic’ was much more accurate, though ‘bone-chilling agony’ would have worked just as well. Either Phil had never experienced the cold himself, or had a very high threshold for temperature.
It happened over the course of just a few minutes, too. One second it was warm enough for Tony to comfortably doze atop the blankets in a tank top and shorts, and the next it was so cold he could actually see his breath.
By the time Tony had scrambled up to put on more clothes and check the thermostat the temperature was back to normal, but he still tore the furnace apart the next morning, only to discover that it was in perfect working order. He then went and took a look at the air conditioning, thinking that it must have been on the fritz, but again - perfectly fine.
Even more irritating, though, was when he was in the process of putting it all back together again and noticed that some of his tools had gone missing. It was disconcerting, because while it wasn’t uncommon for him to misplace tools, he rarely did so in the middle of a project, let alone in a matter of seconds. He tore the place apart looking for them, digging through unopened boxes and even into his other tool kit, but it was as though they’d just… disappeared.
Tony was annoyed, because the tools wouldn’t exactly be easy to replace with his new budget, but put it out of his mind long enough to make himself a sandwich and fire an email off to Rhodey.
He’d just finished making the sandwich when someone knocked on the door, his mood improving when it turned out to be Bucky.
“Hey, neighbor,” Tony said, grinning and leaning against the door frame. “Come to borrow a cup of sugar?”
Bucky snickered and shook his head, then held up a pair of pliers, of all things. “Nope, I’m actually here to return borrowed things I didn’t really borrow. Are these yours, by any chance?” he asked, wiggling the pliers.
Tony frowned and squinted, surprised to find that they were indeed his - one of the missing tools he’d just been looking for, in fact. He would recognize the nick on the handle anywhere.
“Hey, I was just looking for those!” Tony exclaimed, taking them from Bucky and turning them over in his hand. “I was tearing the place apart - where did you find them?”
Bucky shrugged. “They were just lying right in front of my door. I thought maybe you’d dropped them when you were moving your stuff in,” he said, sliding his hands into his pockets and cocking his head to the side.
Tony felt a prickle of unease as he tried to remember when he possibly could have lost them in the hall, but brushed it off. Pepper was always saying he’d lose his head if it weren’t attached to his shoulders.
“You didn’t happen to see any other tools lying around out there, did you?” Tony asked, popping the pliers into his pocket.
“Nope, but I’ll keep an eye out for you,” Bucky replied, shaking his head and dimpling at Tony.
Tony stepped back and gestured for Bucky to come in, but Bucky shook his head again.
“Sorry, I can’t stay - I’m on my way to work,” he said, biting his lip. “I just wanted to return those to you, and see how you were settling in.”
“Too bad,” Tony said, grinning and leaning back. “I was just thinking I’d be settling in better if my hot neighbor came over over and helped me move some furniture…”
Bucky laughed. “I have to cover someone else’s shift tomorrow, but if you really need the help I’m off this Thursday.” he said, flashing Tony a dazzling smile that made his insides squirm happily.
“It’s a strictly shirt-free affair,” Tony said, nodding seriously. “Moving furniture is sweaty work.”
“Sounds reasonable,” Bucky agreed, his grin turning filthy as he added “Fair warning, though - I don’t come cheap.”
Tony raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” he said innocently, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway. “What do you take as payment?”
“Pizza,” Bucky said, straight faced and without a hint of shame, startling a laugh out of Tony.
“Well, that’s a relief,” Tony snickered. “I was starting to worry about my virtue.”
Bucky’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Maybe after the pizza,” he suggested, before checking his watch and wincing. “Sorry, but I’m really going to be late if I don’t get going.”
Tony nodded and straightened up. “I guess I’ll see you later,”
“Or Thursday, whichever comes first,” Bucky said, winking before turning to go.
Tony waited until he had almost disappeared down the hall to call “Remember, no shirts!”
“I like extra cheese!” Bucky shot back.
Tony snickered and closed the door, smiling like an idiot.
When he walked back over to the counter, his sandwich had a bite taken out of it.
While Tony could admit the sandwich thing sort of freaked him out, he attributed it to his general absent-mindedness. So he’d taken a bite out his sandwich without realizing it and walked off - big deal. He was always finding half-drunk cups of coffee and leftover food at his old place. He had a lot on his mind and was easily distracted - these things happened.
But then more things - like his phone and his keys - went missing, this time right from his pants pockets. And he started getting a weird, itchy feeling between his shoulder blades, like he was being watched. There were two more cold snaps - both lasting only a few minutes - and one bizarre instance where the hot coffee he was drinking went cool mid-gulp.
Suffice to say, Tony was feeling more than a little tense by the time night rolled around, so - wondering if he was finally losing his mind - he went to sleep.
He was awoken an hour later by someone whistling Yankee-Doodle in his bedroom.
The whistling didn’t stop until 3:00 AM. Tony googled hallucinations and symptoms of psychosis in the meantime, which somehow lead to him stumbling across a website with recorded cases of paranormal activity.
Now, Tony had never believed in ghosts. He was a man of science, after all - someone who believed in cold hard logic and proven facts, not ghosts or spirits or whatever mystic woo-woo superstitious hacks tried to sell to the world.
But seeing (or hearing, in this case) was believing, and four hours of listening to a disembodied whistle had made Tony decidedly more open-minded.
He spent the rest of the night surfing every ghost-related website he could get his digital hands on, pouring over information and scrolling through several forums and chat rooms. The most common suggestion was simply talking to the ghost or ghosts in question, which Tony thought sounded like a good place to start.
“So, uh… spirit,” Tony said once the sun had come up, because he’d had seen way too many horror movies to try it in the middle of the night. “Uh, I feel like maybe there’s been a misunderstanding or… something. Maybe we can be friends?”
Nothing happened, so Tony tried again.
“Do you think maybe you could give me my stuff back? I’ll make you another sandwich. Or, here’s an idea: since I’m the one who’s paying rent, maybe you could, you know… leave?”
Still nothing.
“Uh, go into the light?” he suggested.
The lights flickered once, and a cool breeze blew against the back of his neck. Tony shivered and yanked the collar of his shirt up, then glared at the spot behind him.
His laptop slammed shut and flew off the table, smacking into the far wall.
Okay, so talking was out.
Tony would be the first to admit that he was a stubborn bastard, which was why he didn’t leave right away. It was his apartment, damn it, and he wasn’t going to run away just because some dead person didn’t want him there.
He tried emailing a specialist, Dr. Strange, and had his laptop thrown across the room again, as well as his tablet when he tried using it instead. He tried lighting a candle and saying a prayer for the deceased, and the candle literally went up in smoke. He gave talking to the ghost another try, and, when that didn’t work, made good on his promise to make it another sandwich, which resulted in several half-eaten sandwiches and the discovery that the ghost apparently didn’t like mayo.
It didn’t matter - the ghost was undeterred. If nothing else, Tony’s actions seemed to encourage it.
The lights flickered off and on at odd intervals. The apartment stayed ten degrees cooler than the setting on the thermostat. More of Tony’s things went missing, and the cabinet doors in the kitchen refused to open. The whistling started up again in the afternoon, and then Tony’s missing tools appeared out of thin air and fell onto his lap while he was trying to watch TV.
Tony didn’t well and truly lose his shit, though, until his heaviest wrench came flying at his head while he was trying to get ready for bed.
Ghosts that whistled and ate sandwiches he could handle, but homicidal ghosts that pelted things at him? No, thank you.
He grabbed his wallet and tried looking for his phone and keys again - a search hampered by a few more things flying at his head - before giving up and heading out the door.
He didn’t have any particular place in mind when he’d left, so he was surprised when he looked up and realized he’d come to a stop in front of Bucky’s door.
Well… Bucky had said to give him a buzz if Tony had needed anything, right?
“You know, this actually explains a lot,” Bucky mused once Tony had finished telling him everything, swirling his drink around.
“How so?” Tony asked, setting his own bottle down. They’d both moved on to something stronger after emptying the coffee pot, though Tony hadn’t been able manage more than a few swallows after inhaling all the coffee.
Bucky shrugged. “Well, nobody has stayed in that apartment more than a month or two the whole time I’ve lived here. And they were always a bit… squirrely. I thought it was because they were all weirdos and flakes, but…” He shrugged again, which Tony thought described the whole situation better than words anyway.
“That apartment could bring anyone to insanity,” Tony grumbled bitterly. “You know, I have to wonder if Coulson knew and didn’t tell me. Isn’t there laws against that sort of thing?”
Bucky grimaced. “No clue, this is a first for me,” he said, standing and giving Tony a sympathetic pat on the knee. “I’ll get you a pillow and some blankets. Are you sure the couch is okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll get out of your hair in the morning,” Tony sighed, scrubbing at his face tiredly. “Ordinarily I’d just crash at my friend Rhodey’s place, but he’s currently overseas, and since Casper took my keys I have no way to get in.”
Bucky waved him off. “Nah, stay as long as you need. I’ve got plenty of space.”
Tony nodded gratefully and sank into the couch cushions, staring at the ceiling and wondering if the ghost would give him his phone back if he asked nicely.
“How do you even go about getting rid of a ghost?” he asked when Bucky returned, two pillows and several blankets under his arms. “‘Cause I tried the salt and incense thing they said to do online, and I think I just made it hungry. All of my leftover pad thai disappeared.”
Bucky chuckled and plopped down next to Tony, then covered them both with a blanket. “Dunno. But now that I think about it, I saw a priest go in with one of the tenants a couple’a months back, and he left in the morning after lot of screaming. I just thought they were into some odd roleplay.”
They sat in silence for a second while Tony absorbed that, gaping at Bucky in disbelief. Bucky smiled sheepishly, and then they both burst into laughter.
“I’m sorry, this really isn’t funny,” Bucky sighed, reaching over and giving Tony’s arm a squeeze, which Tony appreciated.
“It kinda is,” Tony hiccuped, thumping his head against the back of the couch. “Except for the part where I’m going to have to move again.”
That seemed to sober Bucky up. He turned around until he was facing Tony and bit his lip, expression thoughtful.
“You know… you could always move in here,” he suggested, propping his head up on his hand. “At least until you find something else. Like I said, I’ve got plenty of space. I’ve just been using my old roommate’s bedroom as storage.”
Tony blinked, then sat up straight when he realized Bucky was serious. “Really?” he asked, a warm feeling settling in his stomach.
Bucky gave him a sleepy smile. “Only if you want to,” he said, almost shyly. “I wouldn’t mind the company, and it would be easier than moving across town, right?”
Tony nodded, then hesitated. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m not the easiest person to live with,” he said, shifting nervously. “I’m loud, I’m messy, and I keep odd hours. Plus I’ve been told I have no concept of boundaries.”
Bucky snorted. “My last roommate was an archery buff who liked to climb the furniture, shoot me with paperclips, and whistle show tunes just to annoy me,” he said wryly. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
Tony swallowed thickly, the warm feeling intensifying. “Thanks,” he said, slumping in relief.
Bucky grinned at him. “Don’t thank me, I’m being selfish. I just don’t want my cute new neighbor to move away.”
Tony gasped in mock outrage, yanking the blanket away from Bucky and pulling it up to his chin.
“There it is again, more designs on my virtue,” he sighed, poking Bucky in the leg with his foot when the other man snorted. “Am I going to have to lock my bedroom door at night, Mr. Barnes?”
“If that were the case, I would have suggested you move into my bedroom,” Bucky replied cheekily, pulling Tony’s foot up into his lap. “Don’t worry, I only steal virtue after pizza, remember?”
Tony snickered and propped his other foot up on Bucky’s leg, since Bucky didn’t seem to mind. “Well, that’s a shame,” he said around a yawn, watching Bucky with half-lidded eyes.
Bucky chuckled, then gently scooted Tony’s feet off his lap and stood up, stretching his arms as he went.
“Hey, Bucky?” Tony asked, sighing in appreciation when Bucky’s shirt rode up, exposing his marvelous abs again.
“Hmmm?” Bucky asked, pausing mid-stretch and smirking when he noticed Tony admiring him.
Tony grinned and propped his chin up on his elbow. “Wanna order a pizza?”