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Applejack would never admit it, but playing Truth or Dare at Twilight’s was probably her guiltiest pleasure, or at least her easiest excuse. The blonde would huff and roll her eyes when Twilight offered the game, just like she had all those years ago at their first stormy night slumber party, but deep down it made her stomach flip, as if an electric current had been run through her body. It wasn’t the game that made her feel butterflies, not really, seeing as she could easily predict what the host of the slumber party would choose - always truth - and she’d played it probably a million times with the two girls. No, it wasn’t the actual game, though if anyone were ever to suspect anything at all she’d say it was the adrenaline of it. These days, now in their last year of high school, it was the fact that Rarity was their other player, the third to their trio, that made her unable to stop fidgeting.
Last year was when it started.
Besides AJ, everyone had at least had one serious relationship by the time Christmas break of junior year had rolled around. Fluttershy had started the trend, introducing the girls to her boyfriend - a young man none of them had liked quite frankly - at the beginning of sophomore year, explaining they’d met over the summer and had been hanging out for months, somehow without them knowing. When they all gawked she reminded them all that she was the oldest of the group, even if only by mere months, and her choices should not be judged, Discord had a unique sense of humor and a prickly exterior, but he was quite the sweetheart, something they all agreed they’d take with a grain of salt until they got to know him better. Applejack did have to give credit where credit was due, though, since they were the longest lasting relationship within the group thus far, and as far as she knew they were pretty damn healthy. Pinkie then followed suit, introducing them to someone as equally party-crazy as she was, Twilight with a boy a grade above them who played guitar and made her laugh, Rainbow Dash coming out and then consequently dating around almost all of the soccer team before settling with one of the ROTC girls instead, Spitfire, and staying with her since, and lastly had surprisingly been Rarity. All the girls had some dreamy stories - or at least some funny ones in Rainbow’s case - but Rarity was pretty quiet about her first real relationship. It had been a surprise to them all, announced one morning before they all parted ways for class, and almost all the girls fawned over her newfound social status. Usually the group knew if she fancied someone, especially with the fuss she normally made about it, but they all just assumed they’d been too caught up in the stress of thinking about college to catch the blooming relationship, though the fact that she’d missed it really hurt Applejack, not that she’d admit it. She’d thought she’d had a better eye for that kind of thing, especially with Rarity. Sure, as kids they had a tendency to argue and fight, but since the end of middle school she really thought they’d gotten closer: or at least close enough to where she’d notice something like a boyfriend creeping onto the radar. It was like there were no signs at all, no more sighing than normal, stalking his Instagram, no talking her ear off like she had with previous guys… but she guessed she’d just missed it.
The blonde must not have noticed.
But, as a good friend does, she took a silent vow to make up for it, congratulating her friend. A few of the girls had asked how it happened and she watched as Rarity twirled her hair around her fingers, face beetroot red, and told them how a boy from her theater class told her he’d been admiring her work since the former spring production, asking to take her out to a classy dinner. All those signs she’d missed, all out of nowhere at full force, displayed like the pale girl was on the stage, the star of the show. He sounded a bit uppity to AJ but her friends all loved the story, leaving Rarity all embarrassed and giggly as they told her he sounded like a great fit for her. She remembers that after that it was harder to think badly of him, especially if he made her that happy.
On and off after that they’d get updates about the two of them from Rarity, but more often than not they’d see them walking the halls hand in hand, or the Mysterious Boyfriend opening the door of his expensive car to drive her home after school - though it never was much more than that. Glimpses, texts from Rarity bailing on movie night because her boyfriend had gotten them tickets to some expensive opera that she couldn’t wait to go to and get inspiration from, or little things like how he bought her a bracelet, or a barrette, but it was never the right time to dig for details, at least when Applejack tried. It sounded childish, but their monthly games of Truth or Dare during their second semester of junior year ended up being her only way to really learn about her best friend’s relationship. She’d crafted hundreds of texts with questions but could never get the tone right, memorized casual conversation starters to get the ball rolling but she never got the gall to ask them - Truth or Dare was the perfect disguise, and somehow it made it so much easier. It helped that Twilight was nosey too, making her feel a lot less strange about asking so many questions. At their slumber parties, questions of first kisses, “what’s he like?”, how he treated her, they were all fair game. The questions did open a very funny door, one where Rarity would ask Twilight the same questions the two would ask her, giving the blonde a mischievous look urging her to join into the chaos, asking questions of her own. It was easy to feel alive, sitting cross-crossed on Twilight’s carpet sharing pretzels and apple slices on those Saturdays with the people she cared for, no matter what rabbit holes they dove down with their questions and dares, laughing with each other all the same. AJ enjoyed giving the girls random dares to break up all the relationship chatter, something necessary from time to time so that she wouldn’t feel awkward, stuck between the two lovestruck teens, so she wouldn’t have to dissect the feeling of something churning in her stomach whenever the pale girl talked about where his lips had been or his hands.
(She wondered if the purple-haired girl ever told him about the time she spent with her friends with that same light in her eyes. About each of them, about her?)
Rarity’s relationship lasted a little over five months, their half a year anniversary only a few weeks away when she broke it off. The girls had been at Pinkie’s helping her make baked goods for an upcoming charity sale, chatting amongst themselves and indulging in the mess-ups of every baked good they made, when Pinkie asked if she could invite Cheese Sandwich over to take some to his place for storage. They’d all agreed easily, always enjoying the company of the eccentric guy who made their party-girl smile and continued with their decorating and baking efforts before Rarity gasped, getting the attention of the others. Applejack didn’t really hear what she said, instead caught on the panic in her eyes as she spoke, something that wouldn’t leave her mind. The pink-haired girl laughed off whatever it was, waving her hand and saying that Cheese wouldn’t care one bit if she was a mess, he loved her - even if that meant covered in frosting, her giant halo of rosie curls barely held back by a clip, ready to burst at any moment, or sliding around the kitchen in mismatched socks, all things present in the kitchen. The rest of the girls aww-ed but AJ couldn’t take her eyes off Rarity, the way she uneasily bit her lip as if she wanted to say more and put down her piping bag. She rung out her hands anxiously before shaking her head - oblivious to her onlooker - and painted a smile on her face to join the conversation. AJ couldn’t take her eyes off the little movements, the ones her friend made in the kitchen. It worked for the others, seamlessly incorporating her into the conversation about an upcoming something in town, but not for the blonde. She’d cleared her throat loudly, though only Rainbow Dash really looked over. She shot her friend a look, forever grateful for the way they could almost read each other’s minds when the athlete whistled, grabbing everyone’s full attention. The blonde was never proud of her delivery when it came to things like this but she remembers looking directly into those stormy blue eyes and asking Rarity what was wrong, not falling for the dismissive laugh she tried to send back.
It had been a hard conversation for the group after that, especially when tears welled up in Rarity’s eyes and she admitted that her boyfriend wasn’t all too good at, well, being a boyfriend. Not good at all, quite frankly. The baking had been completely put on pause, though Cheese Sandwich had been permitted to stay when he arrived halfway through the conversation, quietly tidying up the kitchen while they listened to Rarity’s stories. He hadn’t done anything to hurt her, not physically, but God Applejack wanted to hit him. She told them how he only seemed to like her when she was all dolled up, explaining her earlier expressed worries, “liking” her the way one likes a new purse, only wanting to show her off. He was all about money, an arrogant asshole who tried to make up for his mistakes with sparkling gifts and who had only told her that he loved her after she threatened to break up with him months prior for his selfish behavior. When she mentioned his name for the first time - Blueblood - Cheese Sandwich made his first comment in the whole conversation, breaking the tenseness of the moment by saying he knew that guy from middle school and he was an ass back then too, unsurprisingly. It made Rarity laugh through her tears, Applejack sat beside her on the ground rubbing her back. Fluttershy was on the other side of the crying girl, soothingly combing her hands through her hair, and she had to give Cheese credit - he was a good guy. Twilight had asked why she hadn’t told any of them about it and all the pale girl had done was shrug, saying she didn’t want to bother them all. It made AJ grind her teeth so hard she nearly gave herself a headache, not wanting to say anything brash about how she would’ve kicked him all the way to Manhattan if she’d been given the chance. From the way Rainbow Dash’s knee was bouncing and fists were clenched she had a feeling they were feeling the same about it all - ready to beat the shit out of a certain someone.
So they broke up, and Rarity took it in stride. It was weird to admit but Applejack had never been happier when they broke up. She was happy her friend had gotten out of the situation, and that she’d allowed herself to lean on her friends through it, though it was hard to articulate. “I’m so glad you’re going through a break-up right now!” - it was an odd thing to say, especially for the situation at hand. Instead she made sure to show her friend she was there for her, offering her rides home like her ex used to, as a reminder that the blonde was there for her, offering to pay for little things here and there - something her ex had never done. It was what friends were for.
Their slumber parties at Twilight’s continued on and after Rarity’s breakup Truth or Dare had a new energy that Applejack couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t bad, not in the slightest, the only way she could describe it was different - fun in a guilty way that made her nervous and warm. It was as if the focus had gone from the two girls digging into Rarity’s dating life to suddenly the pale girl asking about her secrets while Twilight took on her prior role, bringing in funny dares and joining in on teasing when necessary. Asking if she had been fancying anyone at school wasn’t anything out of the blue, or little questions similar, but she remembers almost choking on the snack she was eating after choosing “truth” when Rarity asked if she’d ever had a first kiss. She hadn’t, replying as such, telling the two girls looking at her with big curious eyes that if she did, they would be the first to know. Twilight got sentimental at that, smiling and cooing, but the purple-haired girl just continued looking at her, her head at a slight tilt as she did, and it made her want to fidget with the closest thing near her which usually ended up being her braid. The night had gone on like normal, as did the rest of the sleepover, and the sleepover after that.
Looking back, until that point, there had only been small fleeting feelings, bursts of welcome awkwardness, a familiarity that made her feel warm inside when she thought about it - but there hadn’t been a catalyst, not yet. Applejack, looking back, had been fully and completely oblivious, when suddenly, all at once, she no longer was. It was as if suddenly the blonde had opened her eyes to meet her friends’, losing herself in them, which was almost quite literally what had happened. It was their first week of senior year, and Twilight had dared them to dress the complete opposite of how they normally would for school by Friday, hushing their protest by reminding them that they owed her for something or rather - that and they could never say no to her puppy-dog eyes. So the two girls coordinated, deciding on Thursday, and that between some of their classes Rarity could do her makeup. Applejack was uncomfortable as it was, wearing something so dressy to school, but she would’ve called in sick if she had to do her own makeup too, for it was not a skill she’d perfected much over the past few years. The blonde was beyond grateful when Rarity offered to do it for her, if not only for her own social image but to make the other girl smile.
It was after second period, on her way to lunch, that someone grabbed her arm and started to drag her through the halls. Alarmed at first, she went to pull away, but she was hit with a familiar smell, Rarity , a sweet vanilla perfume she’d been buying since she was 11, and she instantly relaxed, letting herself be tugged. They weaved through the crowds of people rushing to get to the cafeteria, eventually turning a corner into a deserted bathroom that made the footfall outside sound like miles away, as if hearing music from another room. It was only then, really, that Applejack had any time to look at her friend, to really take her in for longer than a second. Her hair was frizzy, with flyaways falling out of every corner of her bun and into her face, lacking any of her usual jewelry. She wore an oversized Nirvana shirt draped over her body, hiding the curves she preferred to show off, her lips chapped and lacking their usual shade, eyes seeming bigger than they were without her mascara or eyeliner outlining them - Applejack had never seen anyone so beautiful.
Rarity looked like she’d just rolled out of bed, as though she’d barely had time to even put shoes on, and she had never wanted something as much as she wanted to tell her how gorgeous she was.
Not just pretty, as a friend commenting on a new pair of shoes, not cute, a passing thought, but her disheveled friend, pulling a makeup bag from her dainty backpack she’d tossed into the sink beside them, this girl was stealing the very breath from her lungs with every passing second. This isn’t how friends thought of friends, she had thought fleetingly, all whilst taking orders from the girl. Rarity told her to lean back on the sink, so she did, told her to stay still, so she did, told her to stay still again a moment later, so she tried her damn best. It was so hard to have a realization like this and then, with no time to process, have said girl almost chest to chest with her, holding her face with one hand and doing her makeup with the other. Rarity was on her tiptoes, and Applejack prayed to whatever God was listening that her quick exhales leaving her nostrils sounded calmer than she felt. It was claustrophobic - the bathroom, her head, her skin - and a guilty part of her couldn’t get enough. The same part of her thought about her ex, wondering how he could ever find this girl unattractive, how he’d been dealt a high card flush and still decided to fold, and that same part was the part that tried to memorize everywhere they touched, a sensation she’d felt before but never like this. Rarity was an affectionate girl, but it felt different now. The blonde felt her face get warmer, exponentially so the longer those low-lidded eyes focused on doing her lipstick, the longer they spent focused on her, and she wanted nothing more than to lick her lips, a nervous habit. This is not how friends are supposed to feel about friends-
“Woah there!” Applejack remembers exclaiming, quick to put her hands on the other girl’s waist as she nearly fell over after spending so long on her tiptoes, interrupting her train of thought. Rarity had tried to steady herself too, in that moment, grabbing onto her biceps, pale fingers curled around her farm-tan, looking up at her in shock. “‘T’s alright, I’ve got ya.”
She spoke steadily, quietly and soft, somehow, though it was hard to even hear herself over the drumming of her heartbeat in her ears. At her words Rarity seemed to shake the near-accident, muttering an apology and taking her hands off the blonde, though not moving from her spot, pressed against her. The purple-haired girl looked at her face, studying it, studying her work with those sharp crystalline eyes, and Applejack couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. Frozen, for what felt like an eternity but could only have been half a minute, frozen to the high school bathroom sink - the only warmth coming from the hands still resting on the waist of the girl in front of her.
My god. I’m still holding her waist, she remembers thinking, snatching them away from her magnetic presence, scratching at the underside of her chin with one hand and resting the other on the porcelain behind her, trying to play off her actions with an all too high pitched laugh. “They’ll be, uh, the girls’ll be mighty worried if we- well, ‘f we don’t show up soon, huh?”
Rarity seemed to look herself up and down after a moment, as if waking up from a daze and trying to remember where she was. She nodded, as if in slow motion at first but with more vigor after a moment, on loop repeating “yes, right” to more so herself than to AJ it seemed, swiftly packing all of her makeup back into her bag. Looking back, it had been a miracle that not one person had walked in, more of a miracle an administrator hadn’t heard their chatter, especially seeing as it was nearly halfway through their lunch period when they finally arrived at the cafeteria. Everyone loved the makeup, complimenting Rarity not only on her work but also on how she made her pajamas look so classy, and Applejack couldn’t help but just zone in and out of the conversation, caught staring into her sandwich more than once. Twilight had asked if she was okay and she nodded, her silence not a common occurrence nor one to be believed, leading to a few of their friends furrowing their brows. But, to her relief, they dropped it, at least for the time.
The semester since has been… confusing, to say the least.
Twilight called it her “post- Oh ” readjustment period. She remembers immediately pulling Twilight aside after their shared physics class and the way her eyes sparkled like a mad scientist with curiosity as she recounted the events from before lunch, muttering that it was fascinating before immediately whipping out her phone and calling Rainbow Dash. The blonde had protested but the other girl shushed her, humming into her phone, saying a few things, before announcing that Rainbow would be waiting for them at the soccer bleachers 10 minutes after school ended, no exceptions or get arounds. Applejack had asked why and remembers Twilight pushing up her glasses and going to say something before biting her tongue, a flush coming over her cheeks. She’d said something under her breath that the other couldn’t hear, clarifying when prompted that they needed someone “versed in being attracted to women,” a phrase that made Applejack nearly double over in laughter before she realized the implication. Was it attraction, what she felt? She’d never liked a girl like that before, but when she thought about it, really, she hadn’t felt anything similar for a guy either - at least not since elementary school. Their soccer bleacher “team meeting” as Rainbow called it was more funny and embarrassing than it was helpful, including a bit of floundering when Twilight would point at random people passing and ask her how attractive they were on a scale of 10, the athlete offering the grand idea of seeing if, as AJ would later quote, “I give you butterflies when I touch your arm since I’m like out or whatever.” Needless to say, it didn’t provide any conclusive answers, nor did it when Twilight offered to do the same, as “The Straight Girl.”
And somehow, after an hour laughing with her friends, running Twilight’s “tests,” and gossiping in general, they did in fact come up with a conclusion: Applejack had a crush on their best friend Rarity, and there was, at the present moment, nothing she could do about it.
Twilight told her with her chin raised high that in the first few weeks she’d be a bit lovestruck, and that she might become jealous of little things that made no sense, that being around their friend would make her palms sweaty, or that when the pale girl turned her attention to Applejack she’d feel butterflies and time would become a little fuzzy - but it would all be okay, and it would become easier to bear as time went by. It was a pessimistic view, but the three all agreed that she had little chance, at least while they finished up high school, Rainbow Dash giving her a solemn pat on the back at the news. “I’m 100% sure that’s the straightest girl I’ve ever met,” she remembers Rainbow Dash saying with a sad shrug, one that articulated “what can you do?” more than any words could. She’d accepted it with a sigh, knowing it was coming, but it still hurt. To acknowledge this was a secret the three would most likely die with, a secret that wouldn’t go anywhere but here, on the bleachers on a random afternoon in the first few weeks of senior year. Applejack would watch homecoming go by, would watch Rarity get together with a jock on the football team, go to prom with said man, and she’d have to be okay with that.
So she would be, even if the very same girl she wanted to learn everything about surprised her with something new every week, it seemed, of their senior year.
Freshly single, Rarity had a month or two where she’d go on a date or two every week, never going with the same person more than twice. She told the group about almost every one, either over text or at lunch, though as the rest of the group got busy, or bored of the stories, Applejack ended up being the receiving end of many of her rambles. It would be while the farmer drove her home, the window down so she would make waves with her hand in the wind, or it would be between classes, or sometimes she’d get a call while making dinner, before bed, and she’d put her friend on speaker so she could talk while Applejack cleaned her room or did the dishes. It was nice, just as Twilight had said it would be, to be the focus of her attention. Sure, she was talking about other people, but in a way it was helpful - it made it easier.
Easier, that was, until Rarity was sitting on her back porch with her one evening, swirling her straw around in the lemonade Granny had made on the girl’s impromptu visit to the farm. They were watching the last beams of the sun cross down past the horizon, the flickering of stars coming to life above their heads, and the pale girl quietly told her two things that would keep her awake all night. First, recently she’d been branching out in her dating adventures, and she’d recently gone on a date with a girl she’d met on a dating app. Applejack had to put in an effort not to spit lemonade on the porch, hearing the soft yet quite blunt words. All she could say in response was “alright,” lost on what to say after. The cicadas buzzed around them, almost like white noise. The sound made it easier to ask how the date went, and it made it easier to not get lost in Rarity’s lack of a response. She’d eventually said it was quite different from her dates with “those boys,” as she called them, though she didn’t specify how so.
“Did ya like her? The girl?”
Rarity hummed, taking a sip of her drink.
“I didn’t dislike her, she was a wonderful conversationalist don’t get me wrong,” She looked down, trailing off at the end of the sentence, and Applejack tried not to make it seem like she was on the edge of her seat, like she was desperate for the answer.
“But?”
Rarity sighed something pretty, putting down the drink and leaning back onto her hands, crossing her legs. Her skirt shifted with her movement, a pale knee peeking out into the night, a sight that didn’t go unnoticed by the guilty farm-girl.
“I’ve found,” She spoke slowly, as if piecing the words together like patchwork, “that I don’t quite enjoy anyone’s company as much as I enjoy y-”
There was a pause, such a slight thing.
“Well, as much as I enjoy that with my friends.”
She covered her stutter with a gentle laugh, looking over at her to see the green eyes of her friend already watching her every movement. The second thing that Rarity said that night wasn’t even really a sentence at all, it was that stutter. The way the girl had gone to say something, something with confidence, and changed her mind last second. Rarity, the girl known for poise, for the lack of that very action - stuttering - it was the fact that the action had told her something, even if she didn’t quite know what. It made her heart skip, for just a second, hoping, just maybe, that it meant something.
“I think I’m going to stop dating for a while, y’know?”
The conversation had been fleeting, no longer than a few minutes, before Rarity finished her drink with an unladylike slurping sound and announced she should get home before it got too late. Applejack froze at the abrupt change in the other’s demeanor, watching as if through a window as she stood up and started to dust off her skirt. She jumped up, as if unpaused by a remote, going to offer to drive her home, that it would be dark by the time she got home and she’d hate for anything to happen to her. Rarity said she didn’t want to inconvenience her, but after a moment she agreed to the ride.
It was quiet, but something changed after that night.
She’d stopped going on dates, that was a big difference, and with her newly found free-time she put all her love into her friends - something no one was opposed to, in theory. Though, as they only got further into senior year they all got busier to a degree they’d all underestimated. Fluttershy’s dual-enrollment classes to get ahead for veterinarian school took up most of her school days, as did Twilight’s internship, Pinkie had become the go-to babysitter for the Cake family’s rambunctious toddlers, Rainbow Dash and the soccer team were headed to nationals - which left Applejack at the farm, busy but never as stressed as the others, and Rarity, who’d already gotten into her dream college and had pre-planned her schedule so her senior year would be the easiest of them yet. They still had their group hangouts, deeming Wednesdays as movie night as a celebration for getting through the first half of the week, though attending made it a lot easier for the others to bail on the weekends. Applejack understood, and to be honest the system they’d subconsciously made worked out great for her, she adored the rhythm of each week the further the semester progressed. She’d drive Rarity home from school most days of the week now, see her friends on Wednesdays, and if it fit in her schedule, she’d hang out with her friends on the weekend or attend the monthly Twilight-Rarity-Applejack sleepover. It was busy, especially while preparing for the next apple season at the farm and passing her classes, but it was a welcome kind of busy, and the benefits outweighed every downside.
A certain someone proved to be a big benefit to the busy schedule. Out of them all, Rarity had told her that she was the easiest to hang out with, especially since she wasn’t opposed to the pale girl sitting on her porch and sketching in her sketchbook while she tidied up the yard or to her sitting under a tree while the farm-girl tended to the orchard. Many of their afternoons were spent like that, Rarity avoiding an empty house when her sister was at their parents’ house and Applejack avoiding the suffocation of working on her family’s orchard, being able to look and see Rarity enjoying the sun or a fresh glass of apple juice from inside. Sometimes the pale girl would bring her parasail to the farm, walking alongside the other and talking her ear off while holding the ladder steady as she pruned the branches of sky-high trees, there had even been a few occasions where Applejack had indoor chores and offered Rarity a chair at the dinner table while she did dishes or promised her a slice if she’d help her make a pie for Granny. It was easy to indulge in her daydreams with the pretty girl sitting at her dining table looking at her sweetly while she talked about the best kind of apple for cider, to imagine that they were lovers, enjoying a domestic summer day. It made her bite the inside of her cheek sometimes, to keep from calling her things like “sugar,” or whenever she’d remember that they had a test the next day or talk about going to prom. It was easy to pretend, sometimes, not that she let herself indulge in it often.
The company was wonderful, it was easy, and they’d fallen into it in stride. The physical affection she’d started noticing from Rarity, however, had been a bit harder to get a hold of. It had started as nothing big, but the pale girl had started purposefully sitting next to her during movie nights, even asking people to move over from time to time, or when they had space to themselves on the couch, she’d even put her legs in the other’s lap. It was friendly, the way she did it, but the first few times Applejack genuinely didn’t know how to react. She’d ventured, one time, putting her hand on Rarity’s smooth shins and dragging her thumb across them lazily after she’d received a smile of encouragement from the girl. It was different, the way she’d silently interact with the other in nothing more than the glow of the TV, it was different than during the day, and it drove Applejack mad. She loved it, embarrassingly so, even more when sitting next to her evolved to falling asleep on her shoulder when the film wasn’t as entertaining as she’d hoped. She’d smile shyly at Pinkie Pie’s raised eyebrow whenever it would happen, going to scratch the back of her neck with the hand Rarity didn’t have her arms wrapped around.
The more frequently it happened the more afraid she became that she’d slip up and be too enthusiastic in accepting the affection, or too touchy, or too relaxed, or too uptight, and the beautiful girl would hear her heartbeat - all too loud. It terrified her, but never enough to shrug off the touch, she wouldn’t risk that.
Which is why Truth or Dare had become her cover story to indulge in her crush, allowing herself to get a bit closer to the girl than she’d allow outside the glow of the TV. She felt safer, especially with Twilight in on it too, knowing that the smartest person she knew would save her ass if she did anything stupid.
Their current sleepover had started hours earlier, chatting about whatever was going on in life on the ravenette’s bed, going out together and eating a late lunch, and even playing a few rounds of different board games as the day progressed. They always fell into such fun conversations, the three of them, often having to pause whatever they were doing just to laugh, enjoying the quiet company of each other’s presence just as often. It was custom, with their sleepovers, to change into comfortable pajama-esc clothing before the sun even began to set and the girls had wasted little time switching from jeans to sweatpants, or from skirts and tights to shorts and baggy shirts, settling in after dinner. They all laid or sat on the floor in different ways, making a little triangle. It was customary for Twilight to ask if they wanted to play Truth or Dare, and even as near adults now, the two girls looked at each other with a smile and told her yes, as if it were a new question.
The rounds were silly, with Twi picking truth every time, revealing she’d already gotten 5 different acceptance letters from different universities, even though she’d only applied a month or two prior, something the girls celebrated with much enthusiasm. It was easy to laugh with her friends, even easier to relax with them, something she cherished more and more every sleepover. She really did love them, crush aside, they were her best friends. Applejack couldn’t help but give Rarity a stupid dare, daring her to do a cartwheel out in the backyard, one which she did with grace before wiping the excess dirt from her hands onto the farm-girl in retaliation, threatening with a smile that if Twilight dared her to do anything else in the dirt she’d be next. AJ chose dare from the dark-skinned girl and was given two options - to either squat the two girls and Spike, her dog, or call her brother and tell him she’d wet the bed the night prior and forgotten to put the sheets in the wash, a dare that made the two girls genuinely gasp in horror. Rarity was stuck between a gasp and a disbelieving laugh, a laugh then eventually won when Twilight broke into a shit-eating grin. Obviously, she’d chosen to squat them, scooping Rarity up and over her shoulder like a bale of hay, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her from falling off, an especially hard task through the giggling protests coming from the smaller girl. She’d used her other arm to pick up Twilight who was holding her small dog in her arms, squatting twice before dumping them all on their host’s fluffy comforter. The contagious laughter from her friends made her light up inside, the smile on her face only growing when Spike took the opportunity to lick Rarity’s flushed face.
Applejack would like to say the night mellowed out after that, but that would be lying. It had started out as a shyly asked “Truth” near the end of their little game, Rarity asking Twilight if her and her boyfriend had “done anything yet,” defending herself when Applejack gave an appalled “Rarity!” by reminding her that they had been together for over a year now and he had his own apartment now that he was a college student - she couldn’t blame her for her curiosity, it was a fair question.
“Now you shouldn’t be askin’ people about thin’s like that even ‘f they are our friends, that’s just improper now-”
“Oh and since when do you worry about what’s proper, darling?” Rarity had snorted when she interrupted the girl, rolling her eyes as she bantered with the blushing farm girl. Twilight cleared her throat before she could retort something fierce, adjusting her glasses as she tended to do when nervous, looking down at her hands but smiling nonetheless.
“I’m comfortable answering the question, it was kind of recent too so-”
Both of the girls gawked at her response - one in excitement and the other in disbelief. Applejack had to stand up, had to leave the room with her fingers in her ears to avoid that would surely devolve into squealing and other such inappropriate things.
“I want nothin’ to do with this conversation, I don’t wanna imagine none of my friends doin’ anything like that, bring me back in when y’all’re done, ya hear?” She said it on her way out, shaking her head at the other’s pleas for her to stay and sitting in the hallway outside her room waiting for them to finish their gossip session.
There was no way it had finished so fast, but only a few minutes later she heard a familiar gasp and the door beside her flew open, being tugged back in by the arm faster than she could protest by the pale girl she was enamored with. The conversation was nowhere near over, it seemed, being brought back into the giggling world that was Twilight’s room only for said girl to start presenting the timeline of their friend group’s “losing of their virginity,” something AJ wished she’d never been exposed to.
“I’d originally thought it was Fluttershy just from a time standpoint, but from my observation I was able to conclude that it was actually Pinkie Pie around Septe-”
It would have been a lot more than a lie to say they’d mellowed out over the course of the game.
…
It wasn’t until half past midnight that the girls’ yawns had started interrupting their night. There’d been one here or there throughout the night after such a long week but as the new day began it turned into a game of tag, passing the telltale yawn of the hour from one to another. Applejack had been the one to finally say something, urging them to go to sleep and watching as the other two decided who would take the bed, setting out her sleeping bag on the floor. She’d chosen years ago to be gentlemanly, to leave the bed to them rather than make her friends sleep on the floor, and it had stuck, over time, another part of the routine she’d never get tired of.
Tonight she was tired, but not necessarily because of the floor beneath her, nor was it Twilight’s snoring beside her - she just couldn’t sleep.
Their host was always the first to fall asleep, something they’d teased her for more than a few times, Rarity next, and AJ always last, making sure the other two got to sleep. After Rarity drifted off, curled up in the comforter, the blonde expected that feeling to wash over her, she expected her eyelids to get heavy and for her dreams to take her, and yet they didn’t. She didn’t know why, but tonight she just couldn't stop thinking about how busy her next few months would be, with exams, graduation photos and awaiting college letters, with the farm, with all the concerts or tournaments she’d attend to support her friends, and over it all was that goddamn family reunion coming up. Usually she would be the first person to brag about how good the food was that her family made, or how fun line dancing was with her cousins, that the reunion wasn’t so bad, but this year was different. This year she’d be the only one representing Sweet Apple Acres, not her older brother or the siblings as a group of three - this year it would be just her. Apple Bloom had offered to pet sit for their Aunt and Uncle Orange and Big Mac didn’t want her to fly up to Manhattan alone, something she agreed with wholeheartedly, so it wasn’t like she could complain all too much. And yet in the years prior it didn’t take up her mind like this, the annual reunion, usually at least part of her was looking forward to it. Looking forward to the annual roadtrip to get her Granny out of the house and play polite with relatives that still expected her to settle early. Looking forward to sitting at a table with people who she knew judged that she never wore a dress to the gathering, who didn’t understand why she wanted to go to college when inheriting the farm was right there, who always teased her for having “manly shoulders like her brother,” who she knew would not leave her alone if she came without a date for the 5th year in a row, or-
Fuck , she wasn’t looking forward to it at all, not even a little bit.
She realized how dry her eyes were, closing them and sighing hard. Maybe if she pretended to sleep, her body would believe it. It only took a moment before she opened her eyes again, looking instead at the glowing star stickers on the ceiling, thinking about the small talk she’d have to practice on the drive over. Rarity stirs in the bed to her left, turning over on her side, still asleep but now facing the girl on the floor. Her movement pulls her thoughts away for a moment, and she turns her head to look at her relaxed face, how her eyelashes entangle, how her lips look softer without their pink-red stain or shimmer, the way her cheek presses to the pillowcase she’d made sure to bring from home. “The satin is better for my skin, darlings,” it was a simple response to an even simpler question, and yet it still had managed to carve out a place in her memory for late nights like this one. Applejack sighs again, she can’t help it, wishing she had that same amount of peace, that she could sleep, that she- that for once she was laid on the bed beside the shorter girl. A twin bed was small, and yet, looking at Rarity, she’d give anything.
Rarity stirs again, as if summoned by the blonde’s thoughts, this time bringing a hand up to her face and rubbing the sleep from her eyes while Applejack tried her damn best to turn her gaze back to the ceiling, hoping with all her might she hadn’t been caught staring. She hears the other hum a confused sound, a high pitched thing that makes her ears turn pink, followed by a yawn. Still, she refuses to turn just yet, refuses to give into the gravitational pull that was her blue-eyed girl’s gaze.
“Applejack? You’re awake?” She whispered, as if Twilight wasn’t one of the hardest sleepers they knew, as if they hadn’t had louder conversations at slumber parties like this one. Like this one, it was a fleeting thought, a reassuring thing. Rarity didn’t move from where she lay on her side, but AJ could feel her eyes, see them too from her peripherals. She slowly turned to meet her, calculated in her movement to appear as calm as possible, to avoid the rapid sound of her heartbeat in her ears.
Rarity was so pretty it made her mouth go dry and her palms start to sweat where they lie at her sides so she just nodded, silently, barely daring to breathe more than absolutely necessary.
“What time is it?”
The blonde reaches for the phone by her pillow, informing her quietly that it was almost 2 in the morning now before resting her hands on her chest, meeting those gorgeous blue eyes once more. Rarity raises an eyebrow at the casual air to her response - one that implied she’d been staring at the ceiling for an hour when she should be asleep - before shifting so that she was lying on her stomach, propping herself up by her elbows to look at the other better. A lock of her violet hair fell over her shoulder, spilling over her forearm as if in a dream. Applejack couldn’t imagine a dream better, in that moment, than the idea of being at the receiving end of her curious look, getting to memorize the way her hair fell over her or how her emotions swam in her irises. Deep down she wanted to kiss her, to reach out and cradle the soft skin of her cheek, or rest her hands on her waist like she had in that school bathroom months ago, but for now she was mesmerized, wanting nothing more than for time to stop while Rarity continued to look at her.
“Why aren’t you asleep?”
AJ hums, not daring to pull away from the eye contact she found herself in, the folded hands on her chest feeling the very buzz of her hum. It’s quiet, with one waiting for an answer and the other not wanting to give it. She resisted, for a moment, but couldn’t help but give in then, answering her dream girl obediently.
“Thinkin’s all, promise.”
Now it was Rarity’s turn, to hum, a way to fill the quiet. A buzzing thing, a musical thing. It stretched for a minute, the quiet, asking the question before she even opened her mouth.
“What about?”
There it was.
She sighed, nowhere near as beautiful as those she’d memorized of the other. Hers was a tired thing, a humble thing.
“It ain’t nothin’ important, Rares, I ain’t gonna to bother ya with it.” She all but mumbled it, and yet Rarity still squinted her eyes in a way she knew meant not to argue with what she’d say next, no matter how much she wanted to. She’d gotten the look enough to know, even over little things like using a gentle face wash rather than just water after a day’s work.
“If it’s keeping you awake then it is important, you’re my friend and if it’s bothering you, I’d like to know.” It was still quiet, as per the sleeping girl beside them, but her voice was laced with a determination she had admired for years, one that made her twiddle her thumbs, even if more than anything she wanted to anxiously run a hand through her braided hair. She finally understood why Rainbow Dash could never stay still, in these fleeting moments of anxiety, why she always bounced her leg in class as she waited for test grades to come back.
“Well shucks, Rare, I don’t wanna dump it all on ya-”
“Applejack, I want you to.”
She’d said it softly, but with just as much purpose as before, if not more. It makes her heart speed up yet her hands still, letting out a breath - involuntarily, silently, visibly. Keeping her gaze becomes too much, then, glancing over to Twilight a few feet away instead, snoring into her pillow. Half of her wished she was awake so she wouldn’t stay oblivious to the inner turmoil happening within AJ and would help her, the other half of her couldn’t be more grateful for her heavy sleep. Her eyes came back to meet the other’s, nearly floored by the attention.
“Shit, when ya say it like that,” her voice had subconsciously gotten quieter, less worried about maintaining that polite farm-girl speech in that moment, even if at home she would’ve gotten swatted with a kitchen towel. The pale girl still leaned towards her, pulling an arm out from under her to dangle it off the bed. If she wanted to, Applejack could uncross her arms and take the perfectly manicured hand in hers, could revel at the feeling of their fingers intertwined, could pull her knuckles to her lips and show her how much she adored her. She prayed that the sweat on her brow wasn’t visible in the light of the fairy lights and glowing ceiling stars. Rarity rolled her eyes at her words - no malice held in the action - and she forgot about Twilight next to them for a second, lost in it, before the other girl gestured for her to go on.
“There’s, um-” she genuinely couldn’t believe she was telling the other, as if her siren-song request was drawing it out of her, “there’s this family gatherin’ in a few weeks time and I just know ‘t’s gonna be a day in hell. Every year my aunts an’ them judge me for little shit or bug me endless to bring a date - they’ve been askin’ since I was thirteen. Usually Big Mac or Applebloom are there and I can use ‘em as an excuse to get outta there but this year’s just me and Granny an’ knowin’ how she is I’ll end up losin’ track of that old woman the second we step foot inside… I’m dreadin’ it, Rare.”
It felt like a confession, in a way, to talk about her extended family. It wasn’t something she brought up often, especially after her parents passed away years ago, but in the dark of night it didn’t seem as scary, to talk about them. Rarity didn’t react with anything but an acknowledging nod, simply listening, watching her speak, and she was grateful, more than anything. It felt easier in that quiet moment after she spoke.
“I have an idea, if you’d like to hear it?”
A smile graced Applejack’s chapped lips subconsciously, forever grateful for the thoughtful problem-solving girl she called her friend.
“Go for it.”
“Why don’t you find someone to take with you then? It sounds like that would fix a lot of your problems, darling.”
AJ blushes, if not in embarrassment about the suggestion than at the pet name alone, even if she said it to all of her friends. At this she does unfold her hands, pushing herself up and balancing on one elbow to run a hand through her hair with the other, trying to distract the pretty girl from her reddening cheeks.
“I ain’t got no one to ask, I guess… an’ I’d rather muck a year's worth of horse shit before trickin’ some unfortunate soul into dealin’ with my family for the whole evenin’ - they’re more judgin’ than a hen movin’ into a pigpen,” she responded after a warm minute, struggling to find the words at some points in the sentence, crafting it as she went rather than planning the sentence before she said it. Rarity hummed in response, bringing her gaze to the ceiling, as if lost in thought.
“If you’d like,” her words were slow, as if she were surprising herself as she spoke, “I can pretend to be your date for the night, if that’d make you feel better about the soirée.”
Applejack’s jaw genuinely fell open at the offer, unable to process the statement, audibly clicking it shut upon realizing. This had to be a dream, there was no way this was happening, that she’d said that, looking in awe at the other girl. The awe turned to disbelief, turned to stubbornly shaking her head at Rarity’s words as she sat up to be eye-level with her.
“Rarity, you know I can’t ask ya to do anythin’ outta y’u’re way like that, that’s not fair to ya-”
“And you should know that when I offer to do something, my offer is genuine-”
“Sugar-“
“I want to come with you, it’s why I’m offering.” Rarity sternly interrupted her words and thoughts both with the sentence, and it felt like the world fell still. It was so silent that she could hear her own breath hitch, forcing herself to exhale. Her words repeated over and over in Applejack’s head, rewinding like a broken tape, and yet she somehow still stumbled out a follow up question, feeling as though she was watching a movie.
“Rares, it’s a barn , it’s a barn surrounded by farm-folk - are ya seriously offerin’?”
“Even in a barn, surrounded by as you say, ‘farm-folk,’ you’re my friend and I want to make your night a little easier, if you’d let me.”
She’d never been so awe-struck by her best friend’s generosity, though she didn’t know why she hadn’t expected the girl to do something like this. It was her nature, to be as kind and caring as she was, and Applejack felt like the luckiest person in the world to know her. The two heard a particularly loud snore, breaking them from the eternal moment as they both whipped their heads to look at Twilight on the floor. They turned back to each other after noting she was still asleep, a giggle escaping the pale girl on the bed, unable to hold back a chuckle of her own. God, Rarity was gorgeous, inside and out.
And it seemed she had a date for the family reunion, albeit a fake one - so much for Twilight keeping her from doing anything stupid during this sleepover.
…
Leaving Twilight’s the next morning had Applejack antsy, wiping her hands on her jeans before opening her truck’s door for Rarity to climb into, the windows already down. Rarity was giving the dark-skinned girl an extra hug, Spike running around their ankles trying to get last minute head-pats, promising her not to forget about prom dress shopping and in return receiving a promise to get the Canterlot Orchestra’s season catalogue next time she was in town.
“We’re visiting my older brother and his fiancée for dinner on Tuesday, I’ll try then - Sweetie Belle will love it. Text me when you get home!”
“Always do, darling!”
Hearing them made AJ smile as she turned on the truck, getting the AC going how Rare liked it. Leaning over the center console the blonde took her hat off and tossed it into the backseats, braid falling over her shoulder as Rarity started walking to the car.
“Thanks for braidin’ my hair last night Twi, it’s holdin’ up mighty nicely for y’ur third try! Look up some different kinds you wanna try next time and we’ll test on Rare, ya hear?” She called out, feeling a sense of pride welling up when Rarity gasped in mock-offense and Twilight laughed into her hand. She really did love their sleepovers, as silly as it sounded as a group of recently-turned 18 year olds.
“That sounds lovely, Applejack. Tell your family I say hello! Spike too!” The girl shouted back, having to raise her voice over the sound of the engine, waving with one hand, scooping up her dog with the other. AJ told her she would, tipping an imaginary hat now that hers was off her head as Rarity got settled into the passenger seat, waving at their friend as they started to drive away from the house. They used to drive with music, and sometimes they still do, but the pale girl in her passenger seat waved her hand away when she reached for the radio dial and it left her aware of every second that ticked by. It left the air quiet, like it had been last night. When they were with the third of their trio, it was easy to get caught up in the familiarity of their long-time friendship but alone in the car, with the AC only a low quiet hum, it was impossible for the blonde not to focus on the pretty sounds of the girl breathing next to her, or the way she’d contently sigh, or how in her peripherals she saw Rarity pull down the sun visor just for the mirror, taking out a tube of that maroon lipstick Applejack saw in her dreams and reapplying it to her lips, making a popping sound when she’d finished.
It felt like a game of cat and mouse sometimes, in a way it hadn’t last night, in a way that both terrified and soothed her. It felt like Rarity knew the secret she wore so plainly on her sleeves, the way she’d glance at her, that she felt the way AJ would lean into her touch like a touch-starved stray cat if she were to grace her with it, but she couldn’t know. It was just their game, the two in the group who didn’t have a special someone to turn to, the two in the group who turned to each other instead, as friends. As much as it pained her to tear away from the attention of the blue-eyed girl, she was smart, in the daylight and rested, and she’d had a year of practice. Risking a friendship over a decade old for something that could absolutely destroy not only their relationship but the dynamic of the friend group was not something she was interested in doing. So, she played the game when it was safe, hiding her affection for group settings where it could be passed off as something less individualized, even if it hurt to do, even if she had to draw blood on the insides of her cheeks to keep from blurting out how beautiful the other looked in the golden hour light, or how she’d do anything to make the other happy - she’d do it. She’d think about her in her spare time, how she spoke, how she said her name, how-
No. She couldn’t risk thinking about any of those things while the girl sat in her passenger seat.
So she played their quiet game on that Sunday morning, pushing the thoughts from her mind and enjoying that the other felt comfortable enough to relax with Applejack - one of her closest friends. Still antsy, still tapping her fingers on the steering wheel as she felt eyes watching her every move, still listening to the other sigh, but enjoying the presence of one another’s company.
When they turned onto Rarity’s street she slowed down the truck, another habit of the past year. The blonde stopped in front of her driveway, like always, but Rarity didn’t get out yet. She put the truck in park, taking her eyes from the road and bringing them to meet the other’s gaze. The pale girl was already looking at her, something in her eyes that Applejack couldn’t quite decipher, but it made her nervous. She thought back to their conversation the night prior, using whatever bravery she stored in her chest for when she was worried about the other to reach out and put a hand on the clasped pair resting in Rarity’s lap. The contact seemed to shake her out of a daze, sending a shy smile the blonde’s way.
“Rare-”
“Sorry… I hope I wasn’t staring too harshly,” She interrupted, quiet as a feather falling, almost unintelligible if she didn’t know her better. They both knew she had been, but it was easier to start with that than whatever was on her mind, she was sure.
“Ya alright?”
“I’m fine, Applejack,” she replied, unconvincing in her actress’ smile, something that made her eyebrows furrow in worry.
“If this is ‘bout that offer last to come with me to the family gatherin’, ya don’t have to, sugar, I can ask someone else to come with, like you said, it don’t have t’ mean nothin’ ‘f y’u’re worried ‘bout it,” Applejack explained it much calmer than she felt, hearing her heartbeat in her ears with each phrase but not wanting to come across as insincere. She realized how it might look, what it might be making Rarity think now that she was more awake, with their new normal - how she’d made sure to walk the other to her door in the winter, how she knew exactly what temperature Rarity liked her truck to be when she got into it. “Applejack, I want you to,” “I want to come with you,” they were sentences that had made her warm in the moment, dizzy for the rest of the night as they replayed in her head, but if she had to give them up to make her friend feel better she would in an instant.
Rarity’s shoulders released whatever energy was buzzing there at her response, the blonde watching as she let out a breath. She was fully expecting rejection, even bracing for it, before Rarity did something unexpected. She laughed. It was something gentle, like windchimes singing on a spring morning, laughing as if throwing her hands up and saying “what the hell, why not.”
Further, she unfolded the hands on her lap, the ones AJ’s tan hand had been atop of, the shades of their skin clashing like seafoam hitting a golden sand shore, and squeezed her calloused hand oh so tenderly.
“It’s not about that, I promise. I’m just a bit tired. I still want to go with you, if you still want me to.” She said it so quietly, almost a whisper, as if someone else was going to eavesdrop if she didn’t, as if she wasn’t in so close with Applejack still leaned over the center console to reassure the other. All she could do was nod, afraid that if she opened her mouth the desperation would bleed into her words, to tell her just how much of a gift she was, how she wanted nothing more than for the other to come with, how she couldn’t imagine introducing anyone else to her family - as a real date or fake. All she could do was nod. She ran a thumb over the pale fingers wrapping around hers, rewarded when the other smiled, the tiniest bit of lipstick on one of her canine teeth.
“Text me the details, alright? I need to know what to wear.”
It was such a Rarity thing to say, already thinking about what she would wear and how to coordinate with one another, and when she’d look back on this moment later she thinks this was when Applejack fell in love with her. Crushing was one thing, but the feeling she felt sitting in the car was so much deeper. Crushing would have made her hand clammy as it rested on Rarity, wanting to pull her hand away in fear of being too bold, wanting to pull away from the perfect proximity, this made her skin tingle as if electricity ran through it, made her want to continue to reach out when the purple-haired girl started to get out, made her immediately miss the warmth of another person beside her as she heard her grab her sleepover bag from the truck bed. This feeling, this made the smile and delicate wave she received from Rarity feel like it was a summer night sat by a campfire, or that sunlight was shining on her face after a hard day’s work. If she had her hat on she would’ve taken it off and held it over her heart in breathless awe, the same way she would’ve to a sunset.
“Anythin’ you want, Rare.”
The look she got was worth any awkward family gathering, any biting the inside of her cheek, any cut short hug, or any cold face wash.
She was so royally screwed.