Work Text:
The Obsession Begins
Lando:
“—and then Carlos lent me his towel. Oscar. That man is like, god-tier best friend material. Do you think I should make a scrapbook? Wait—why are you blushing?”
Oscar:
“...No reason.”
(Oscar furiously scribbles “Carlos towel moment 😳” in the back of his race notebook)
Oscar never meant to fall for Carlos Sainz. But Lando wouldn’t shut up about him, and then Carlos had to go and be kind and gorgeous and smile like that. Now it’s 2025, and Carlos is with Williams, being a sunshine angel with Alex Albon, and Oscar is fully, irreversibly gone.
…………
The Rookie Cupid HQ
Setting: The suspiciously high-tech, very illegal “Love HQ” trailer parked somewhere behind the media pen. A red “NO FIA ALLOWED” sign blinks on the door.
Oscar Piastri, F1 driver, quiet chaos, romantic at heart, nervously sits in the only chair in the center of the room. He's surrounded by four rookies and an aggressively suspicious cat named Princess, who seems to be acting as emotional support animal/judge/jury.
Kimi Antonelli (stoic, clipboard in hand):
“State your full name and intentions with Carlos Sainz.”
Oscar (blinking):
“Um. Oscar Piastri. And—I... intend to love him gently?”
Oliver Bearman (typing furiously into a laptop):
“Noted. Hobbies?”
Oscar:
“Engineering documentaries. Chess. Reading Jane Austen adaptations.”
Isack Hadjar (raising an eyebrow):
“Are you secretly 80 years old?”
Oscar:
“Possibly.”
Yuki Tsunoda (dramatically gasping):
“WAIT. Did you say Jane Austen?”
Oscar:
“Yeah. My favorite scene is from Persuasion. When the captain writes that heartbreakingly soft letter because he still loves her—”
(He stops. Realizes. Everyone is staring at him.)
Kimi (blinking, slightly moved):
“...We have a nerdy romantic.”
Oliver (suddenly invested):
“A softie?? With emotional depth???”
Gabe Bortoleto (popping out from a suspicious trapdoor, wearing a cape):
“Say something flirty. We need to test the Carlos Reaction Potential.”
Oscar (thinking hard):
“I told Alex if Carlos smiled at me one more time I was going to propose with an F1-themed ring. And then I did design one from scratch. It's in my hotel room.”
Yuki :
“HE’S DOWN BAD. I REPEAT: DOWN. BAD.”
Isack (trying not to smile):
“You’re really into him, huh?”
Oscar (quietly):
“He called me ‘mate’ and touched my shoulder and I almost dropped my water bottle. I want to build him a Lego garage and tell him he’s my favourite driver every morning.”
Kimi (writing furiously on clipboard):
“Nerd. Romantic. Has a spine of marshmallow. Genuinely wants to cherish Carlos.”
(He nods solemnly.)
“Approved. Mission CARCAR is officially go.”
………..
Operation: Catch Carlos Begins
Strategies suggested:
- Kimi: “Push him into a lake. He’ll be grateful when you save him.”
- Oliver: “Write him poetry. But, like, subtle poetry. About tyres and muscles.”
- Gabe: “Challenge him to a cooking battle. Feed him your love.”
- Yuki (mouth full of chips): “Gift him mochi. That wins everyone.”
Actual plan chosen:
Oscar will “accidentally” crash a team event at Williams and “need Carlos’s help.” It is a disaster. Oscar ends up holding a confused Alex Albon’s cat, spilling juice on James Vowles, and Carlos hugs him out of sympathy.
Oscar (brain static): Carlos smells like cinnamon and dreams.
Carlos (smiling):
“You okay, mate? You’re shaking.”
Oscar:
“Haha. No.”
Kimi (watching from a bush):
“He’s so doomed.”
………..
Oscar tries writing Carlos a love letter. Carlos finds it and thinks it’s… a prank? A game?
“Haha, Oscar, you’re so funny. Did Lando put you up to this?”
Oscar, internally combusting: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oscar storms the Love HQ.
Oscar:
“HELP. HE THINKS I’M JOKING.”
Oliver:
“He thinks you’re joking because you used a glitter pen and signed it ‘with tyre smoke and respect.’”
Isack:
“You literally drew hearts with his name on a Venn diagram.”
………..
Location: Paddock. Bright day. Birds chirping. Cupids scheming. Pierre being Pierre (read: shamelessly charming anyone within ten meters, specifically Fernando Alonso, again).
Esteban, dressed like he stepped out of a Dior ad and fuming like a French espresso machine, walks straight into Cupid HQ.
Esteban (hands on hips, eyes narrowed):
“If my boyfriend gets to flirt with that ancient legend for your missions—then I get to flirt with someone too.”
Oliver:
“Are you... jealous?”
Esteban (gasping in French):
“No! I’m fair. Equal. Symmetrical. Romantic justice.”
Yuki (clinging to Isack like a crab):
“He’s so jealous it’s funny.”
Gabe:
“Okay, who do you want to flirt with?”
Esteban (instantly):
“Oscar.”
Kimi:
“...Bold. We approve.”
………..
Carlos is leaning casually against the wall, sipping his espresso, chatting to Alex about tyre strategy and pretending not to stare at Oscar. Meanwhile, Oscar is busy tinkering with some telemetry sheets—glasses on, focused, adorable, utterly clueless.
Enter Esteban, perfectly groomed, mischief in his step, and with the Cupids’ stamp of approval. His mission? Flirt. Hard. With Oscar.
Esteban (leaning casually on Oscar’s desk):
“Bonjour, Oscar. I heard you like nerdy boys with devastating cheekbones and long legs.”
Oscar (blinking, confused):
“I like Carlos Sainz.”
Esteban (momentarily stunned):
“I—what?”
Oscar (completely serious):
“Did I say that out loud?”
Meanwhile, from across the garage, Carlos is halfway through sipping his espresso and chokes.
Alex (smirking):
“Mate. You okay?”
Carlos (glaring at Oscar and Esteban):
“Does he always talk to people like that?”
Alex:
“You mean like a functioning human? Yes.”
Carlos:
“No. Like... charming. Too charming. Look at the way Esteban is smiling. I don’t like it.”
Back at the desk:
Esteban (recovering fast):
“Right, well... how about we grab a smoothie sometime? I know a place in Monaco—very private.”
Oscar (mildly horrified):
“Are you flirting with me because of Pierre’s antics or because you genuinely like smoothies?”
Esteban (caught):
“...I plead the fifth.”
Oscar (shaking head):
“I’m not allowed to flirt unless it's with Carlos Sainz. It’s a personal rule.”
Esteban pauses. Looks up at the sky.
“I respect the hell out of that.”
Oscar shrugs and goes back to his telemetry.
“He smiled at me yesterday when I handed him a pen. I almost passed out. There’s no space for other men in my heart.”
😳 Meanwhile, Carlos:
Carlos is now pacing behind the Williams garage like a man possessed.
Carlos (to himself):
“Who goes for smoothies? Why Monaco? What kind of flavor does Oscar like? I didn’t even know he liked smoothies. Maybe I should ask him. No—cool. I must be cool.”
Alex:
“You’re spiraling.”
Carlos:
“He said “Beautiful” when we took a walk last night.”
Alex (grinning):
“Oh yeah? Sounds like a moon lover.”
Carlos (dead serious):
“He looked at me when he said it.”
Esteban tries again….and fails
Carlos is loitering in the Williams garage like he doesn’t have a schedule, trying not to look at Oscar like a lost golden retriever.
Oscar is, as always, looking devastatingly soft and focused, probably trying to organize his stickers by emotional meaning.
Suddenly...
Esteban (sauntering up to Oscar):
“Bonjour again. You look very... blue today. Like a calm ocean. A blue raspberry. I like it.”
Oscar (blinking slowly):
“I like Carlos.”
Esteban:
“...Is this a reflex?”
Oscar:
“Probably. I have a Pavlovian response to his name. I once got a nosebleed when he said ‘good job’ in the radio.”
Esteban (completely caught off guard):
“...Wow. You’re worse than me with Pierre.”
…………..
Esteban returns to the Cupids with a clipboard.
Esteban (reading aloud):
“Oscar said he’s in love with Carlos three times. Refused smoothie offer. Blushed when I mentioned Carlos’ accent. Threatened to fight me politely if I made Carlos sad.”
Kimi (nodding proudly):
“He’s in deep. Approve.”
Pierre (popping in):
“Wait—you flirted with Oscar?!”
Esteban (suddenly smug):
“You flirted with Fernando twice. This was mission-based.”
Pierre (suspiciously dramatic):
“But Oscar’s cute. This is betrayal.”
Esteban (grinning):
“You jealous?”
Pierre (pouting):
“Always.”
…………
Across the paddock:
Carlos (from behind a wall of Red Bull crates):
“What the hell is a Pavlovian nosebleed?!”
Alex:
“Carlos. Deep breaths.”
…………
Carlos corners Esteban like—
Carlos:
“Did Oscar say he liked me?! How much? On a scale? Did he rate me? You said blushing—was it cute?”
Esteban:
“Oh you’re so gone for him.”
………
Oscar’s room is dimly lit. A warm hoodie, messy hair, a mug of hot chocolate. The stream is titled “Warzone with the Grid”. Players: Oscar, Lando, Alex, Charles, Max, Daniel, Checo, George… and, sneakily, Carlos, playing under the guest username “TanSmoothie55.”
Oscar has no idea Carlos is in the party.
Lando:
“Oscar, you’re getting WRECKED—”
Oscar:
“I know. It’s because I’m distracted!”
George:
“By what? Me in this digital helmet?”
Oscar (softly whining):
“No… by Carlos...”
Stream silence. Everyone hears it.
Except Oscar. Because his brain has stopped registering what he's said aloud. He thinks he’s talking to Lando in a private Discord call, not to the entire Twitch channel + one Spaniard hiding with a sniper rifle behind a tree.
………….
Lando (suddenly WAY TOO LOUD)
“OSCAR—WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??”
Oscar (still clueless, flopped on his desk):
“I said I’m in love with Carlos. Okay? I’ve been in love with him since like... Bahrain. And I know he’s just nice to everyone and probably thinks I’m boring, and he smells like cinnamon sometimes and I’m losing my MIND.”
Carlos (through his mic, trying to unmute):
“...”
Checo:
“...Did he say cinnamon?”
Charles:
“He did. He really did.”
Daniel:
“HE SAID HE’S IN LOVE. ON A PUBLIC STREAM. THIS IS CONTENT.”
Alex:
“CINNAMON.”
George:
“This is better than The Bachelor.”
Max:
“I’m screen-recording this. For safety reasons.”
…………..
Oscar (realizing slowly... painfully):
“Wait… wait are we—Lando… was my mic on for everyone?”
Lando (grinning like a demon):
“Yup. Twitch, Discord, Carlos included.”
Oscar (screaming):
“I HAVE TO GO—”
[DISCONNECTED]
………..
[OFFLINE STATUS: Oscar Piastri]
[NEW STATUS: Ghost Mode – 3 Days Straight]
Oscar vanishes. No paddock sightings. No texts. Deletes his Twitch app. Avoids Alex (who knows everything). Literally fake coughs to skip meetings.
Carlos is devastated. He spent 48 hours replaying the recording. (Checo sent him a clean version with background music and subtitles.)
……….
🚨 Everyone Tries to Get Oscar Out of Hiding 🚨
Daniel:
“He’s acting like he proposed. He just said he was in love. Baby steps!”
George:
“It’s romantic. Iconic. His ghosting? Less so.”
Lando:
“I threatened to leak his browser history if he doesn’t show up.”
Alex:
“Carlos made cookies. With heart shapes.”
Max:
“He made what now?”
…………….
Meanwhile, Carlos is Sad Sainz
Carlos sits alone on a Williams tire blanket, holding Oscar’s favorite glitter sticker (“YOU'RE SPEEDY HOT”) and sighing like a man who watched a romcom marathon with no resolution.
He even made Cookies and left them in Oscar’s sim room.
Note on top:
“You don’t have to say it again. I heard it. I liked it. I like you.”
……………
Oscar Has Taken Over HQ
(AKA Oscar is in full emo lock-in mode inside the Cupids’ Headquarters and refuses to come out, so the Cupids lure Carlos in like a raccoon into a glitter trap.)
[Scene: Cupid HQ – aka a suspiciously pink RV parked behind the Williams motorhome]
Oscar Piastri is curled up on the Cupids' couch, swaddled in a puffy blanket, eating heartbreak snacks from a tub labelled "Do Not Eat – Property of Kimi Antonelli."
He hasn’t moved in three days.
Oliver (arms crossed):
“He’s starting to smell like heartbreak and despair.”
Isack (half buried under Yuki, who refuses to let go):
“He's not even blinking anymore. Like a sad little koala.”
Kimi (typing furiously):
“Just writing a ‘get well soon’ card and forging Carlos’s handwriting. Maybe it’ll coax him out.”
Oscar (muffled from blanket fort):
“I can hear you. I’m not coming out. Ever.”
Gabe (eating Oscar’s chips):
“This is a bad look for the sport.”
🚨 INTERVENTION TIME: Enter Checo Pérez 🚨
Checo (wearing aviators indoors):
“I’ve handled two Red Bulls and a Max Verstappen. We can handle this.”
The rookies nod. They are terrified and in awe.
Checo:
“Here’s what we’ll do. You want Carlos to talk to him, right?”
Checo (grinning):
“Then we bait the trap. Classic honey pot.”
Ollie: ”
Step 1: Tell Carlos there's an emergency Cupids meeting about his “emotional cinnamon aura” (he will come).
Step 2: Send Yuki to “accidentally” text Carlos a voice memo of Oscar crying to the background of Taylor Swift.
Step 3: Lure Carlos into HQ. “
Checo looks unimpressed: “Just text him you have Oscar idiots, He will come running”
Carlos (at Williams):
“I received message. ‘Oscar is at headquarters?’ Is he okay?”
[Scene: Inside Cupid HQ. Carlos is lured in. Doors lock with dramatic click.]
Carlos:
“...What is this?”
Oscar (from the couch):
“OH MY GOD THEY TRAPPED YOU TOO?!”
Carlos (smiling gently):
“No, I came for you.”
Oscar throws himself back into the blanket like a fainting Victorian widow.
Carlos (kneeling beside the couch):
“You said you loved me, Oscar.”
Oscar (groaning):
“It was a glitch. A mic malfunction. I was drunk on hot chocolate.”
Carlos (holding Oscar’s hand):
“You said I smell like cinnamon.”
Oscar (blushing):
“...I stand by that part.”
Carlos (smiling softly):
“Good. Because I’ve been trying to tell you I like you back. But I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Oscar:
“You could never. You make me... extremely comfortable. Like a weighted blanket. But fluffy.”
[Cue soft background music. The Cupids spy through the walls like emotionally-invested raccoons.]
Isack (sniffling):
“They’re so in love. I can’t.”
Yuki (suspicious):
“If you cry, I’ll bite you.”
[Carlos pulls Oscar into a hug. The rookies release confetti cannons. The FIA issues a noise complaint.]
Oscar looks at Carlos, still half in his blanket cocoon, and Carlos — the sweet, golden boy with cinnamon scent and emotional restraint of a damp sponge — reaches up.
Carlos (softly):
“Can I kiss you now? Or do you still want to hide in your shame cave?”
Oscar (blushing 1000%):
“If you don’t kiss me in the next three seconds I will combust.”
Carlos:
“Fair.”
[And they do. It’s slow, warm, and slightly awkward because Carlos nearly elbows the confetti cannon, but also perfect because Oscar melts like a marshmallow in the sun.]
[Scene: Cupids HQ – hidden corner]
Checo Pérez, hidden behind a large potted plant (which was definitely stolen from the Alpine motorhome), sniffles loudly. He’s watching the kiss like it’s the season finale of his favorite novela.
Checo (wiping a tear):
“Dios mío... the yearning... the tension... the payoff...”
Oliver:
“Are you crying?”
Checo (sobbing harder):
“I want in. I want to join your noble institution of matchmaking. I have lived... but I have never witnessed.”
Kimi (clipping on a glittery rookie badge that says “MATCHMAKING INTERN – PÉREZ”):
“Welcome to the team, Tío Checo.”
Checo (chest puffed):
“I want to be there when people realise they’re idiots in love. I want to help. I want to weep more.”
[Oscar and Carlos pull apart. Cheeks flushed. Hands clasped. Oscar still hiding half his face in the blanket.]
Carlos (smiling):
“You kissed me like you meant it.”
Oscar:
“I’ve been mentally married to you since Silverstone last year.”
Carlos:
“...I brought you empanadas that day.”
Oscar:
“They were warm. You were warm. I fell in love and had indigestion. It was a lot.”
[Back to Checo, now making hot chocolate for everyone in the Cupids HQ]
Checo:
“SO , WHO’S NEXT?”
................
🚨 AUTHOR’S NOTE ALERT: YOU. YES, YOU. READ THIS OR I’LL MAKE PIERRE GASLY FLIRT WITH YOUR CRUSH 🚨
Yes. YES. You read that right — Checo is now an official part of the Rookie Cupid squad. He may have started as a guest star, crying like an abuela over Carlos and Oscar’s kiss, but let’s be real: that man? He gets it. He’s soft. He’s dramatic. He belongs.
Listen, I am not emotionally stable enough to pretend like Checo didn’t deserve more after everything. He was dropped like an unlabeled grocery bag at the end of a season and I refuse to let him fade into a paragraph of history. Not on my watch. He is here. He is loved. He is a Cupid now, wearing a little pink badge with glitter around the edges that says “Emotional Support Tío.”
But let’s shift gears. Let’s talk about me for a second. Yes. Me. The author. The exhausted soul behind this madness. You see, by day I’m a Computer Science student — that’s right. A weary warrior battling bugs, typos, and JavaScript mood swings. I fix one thing and five others break. I blink, and suddenly there's a semicolon uprising. I open a terminal window and pray.
But by night? I write fanfics where Pierre Gasly is under flirting surveillance, Oscar Piastri is sobbing into Cupid HQ beanbags, and Carlos Sainz is the softest oblivious romantic dumbass on the grid. I live in this double life — debug by day, destroy hearts by night.
Do you know what it’s like to spend your day making sure code compiles without error, then spend your evening making sure my ships kiss with the right amount of angst before the fluff drops? Emotional whiplash. I fix code with my logical brain, and I write pining scenes with my deranged romantic braincell that survived on nothing but Spotify playlists.
Anyway, I wrote all this because I needed you to know that I am one screen error away from quitting tech and opening a matchmaking company where Checo Pérez will be my co-founder, Max Verstappen will deny he’s in love while baking heart-shaped bread for Daniel, and Oscar Piastri will cry again because Carlos Sainz said “I like your curls.”
In conclusion:
-
Checo is here.
-
Love is real.
-
Coding is hell.
❤️
Your ever-suffering author.
Powered by heartbreak, caffeine, and the fact that someone has to keep this grid emotionally healthy
Cupid & Co. never rests.