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It all began, as most Formula 1 disasters do, with a group chat and terrible impulse control.
The Rookie Chaos Squad — Kimi Antonelli, Ollie Bearman, and Isack Hadjar — had written a 70k fanfic titled:
“Wheely In Love: The Button-Alonso Affair”
tags: retired x still racing, rivals to lovers, slow burn, accidental love confessions, explicit aftercare, one-bed, no brakes (emotionally), love letters via helmet stickers
It was meant to be a private joke. Something to bond over. An inside fandom joke.
But somehow… it got posted.
To AO3.
And then, to the official Aston Martin media server by accident.
The title card opened across all monitors in the Aston motorhome mid-debrief.
“Chapter 13: Post-Race Kisses and Tender Muscle Rubs- Alonso-Button ”
Fernando’s eyes widened.
“Turn it off—” he barked.
“Too late,” murmured Lance, biting back laughter.
The damage was done. It was everywhere. And worse: Jenson knew.
……………
The fanfic explodes.
The tag #ButtLonso trends on Twitter.
Someone makes a fancam of Jenson smirking at Fernando with the caption: “He fell first, he fell harder.”
The drivers’ group chat is unhinged.
Carlos: “FERNANDO DID YOU SEE THIS”
Seb: “Actually very well written.”
Max: “Fernando’s the little spoon???”
Lewis: “This is art.”
Daniel: “Does Jenson know his abs were described as ‘God’s own carbon fibre?’”
Meanwhile, Jenson is cackling over his espresso.
……………
Jenson Button, retired, tan, and deeply unbothered, was halfway through a charity cycling event when he saw the headlines.
“F1 Rookies Write Horny Fanfic About Jenson & Fernando”
He scrolled. He read. He smirked.
“Well, at least they got my abs right.”
Someone texted him the link.
Daniel Ricciardo commented “canon” on Chapter 4.
Lewis sent him a meme.
Seb sent a text "Make it canon".
……………….
George sent the rookies a plan.
George Russell: “We can fix them.”
George Russell: “Nando blushed while reading the aftercare scene. I saw him.”
……………….
Fernando had done his best to ignore the fic.
He really had.
But in the privacy of his hotel room, curtains drawn, he cracked.
And opened Chapter 13.
Jenson kissed him like they’d never had to race, never had to fight. His hands gentled over tired muscles, each touch a promise. “I’ve got you,” he whispered. “I always do.”
Fernando audibly squeaked.
He threw the tablet across the room.
It bounced off the bed.
He retrieved it 4.2 seconds later.
“It’s fiction,” he told himself.
“Not real. Dramatic. Silly.”
Then he whispered, “But I did fall asleep on his shoulder that one time…”
And he blushed so hard it short-circuited his brain.
…………………
George Russell assembled the troops: Carlos, Charles, Alex, Daniel, and the rookies (smug, unrepentant, caffeinated).
Objective: Make Fernando admit he's in love with Jenson Button.
Method: Chaos. Emotional sabotage. Fanfic scene reenactments. Also karaoke.
“We need a catalyst,” George said seriously.
“We need Jenson shirtless again,” Ollie added.
“We need Fernando cornered emotionally,” said Isack, scarily good at this.
Daniel suggested inviting both of them to a charity gala.
Carlos suggested wine.
Max suggested handcuffs.
“Not helpful,” Lewis said.
“Very helpful,” Daniel corrected.
………………..
“Look, we just need you to lightly flirt with Fernando,” George said, sliding a suspiciously formal document across the table.
Pierre raised an eyebrow. “You want me—who is in a committed, loving, legally unhinged relationship with Esteban Ocon—to flirt with Fernando Alonso?”
Carlos nodded. “Just to push Jenson’s buttons.”
Daniel, sipping from a sparkly cocktail glass: “Pun intended.”
Esteban, lounging beside Pierre with the patience of a man used to chaos, just said:
“Make sure not to touch him much or you won’t get to touch me for the rest of the month.”
“That’s unfair”, Pierre whines but turns silent with one stare from Esteban.
Pierre squinted at the paper.
“I, Pierre Gasly, agree to flirt platonically and with strategic dramatic flair for the purpose of emotionally destabilizing Jenson Button, who is hot but emotionally constipated…”
He signed.
…………….
The next day in the paddock, Pierre approached Fernando wearing sunglasses, a tailored shirt, and a smirk.
“Hola, guapo. New cologne?”
“It’s just sweat,” Fernando said, confused.
“Delicious,” Pierre whispered dramatically.
Jenson was sipping water at the Aston hospitality desk.
He did not choke.
He did not care.
Except his grip on the bottle tightened so hard it cracked.
George and Daniel, watching from behind a potted plant, hissed.
“He’s folding.”
“Nope. He’s holding.”
“Wait—he’s smirking back.”
Because here’s the thing.
Jenson Button doesn’t need to be jealous.
Because while Pierre complimented Fernando’s eyes, hair, and cheekbones—
Fernando?
Was not listening.
He was watching Jenson towel off after a run, shirt clinging to his abs, hair windswept, glint of gold chain peeking through.
“Mmm,” Fernando muttered. “I wonder if chapter 14 was accurate about that muscle dip...”
“What?” Pierre asked.
“Nothing.”
“Did you just say ‘muscle dip’ out loud?”
“I SAID NOTHING.”
……………..
That night, Jenson confronted Fernando outside the hotel gym.
“So. Gasly.”
“Yeah?”
“You like him?”
“He’s fine.”
“Flirting seemed… serious.”
“You read fanfic about us, Button. I think we’re past jealousy.”
“So you did read chapter fourteen.”
“You toweled off like chapter fourteen.”
“That’s just how I towel off.”
A long pause.
Tension crackling.
Sweat glistening.
Abs absolutely present.
…………..
Aston Martin’s charity gala was elegant, glittering, and—thanks to George—a trap.
Jenson arrived looking like a Bond villain in a tuxedo.
Fernando arrived pretending not to notice.
“You clean up nice,” Jenson said.
“I always do,” Fernando muttered, tugging at his collar.
They were seated next to each other.
The menu had fanfic quotes printed subtly beneath each dish.
Main Course: “Tender Touches & Truthful Tension”
Dessert: “You Always Smell Like Fuel and Regret”
Fernando nearly choked on his wine.
Fernando pretends to go through his emails but accidently opens Google and the fic is wide open.
Jenson leaned close.
“Did you ever finish the fic?”
Fernando blinked.
“What?”
“You stopped at chapter thirteen.”
“How do you—?”
“Chapter fourteen,” Jenson murmured, “was the kiss.”
Fernando blushed again.
Carlos fist-pumped behind the champagne tower.
……………
Later, on the balcony, under the stars, it happened.
“Why didn’t we ever try?” Fernando asked quietly.
“Because we were too stubborn,” Jenson said. “And too scared.”
“Are you still scared?”
“Terrified.”
“Good. Me too.”
And then, with all the tension of ten years and one very well-written fanfic…
They kissed.
Not a dramatic, fiery, public kiss.
A quiet one. Warm. Familiar. Real.
Then Fernando, ever so casually:
“Want to do chapter fifteen together?”
Jenson’s smirk turned into a real smile.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
From the bushes, George whispered into his mic:
“We did it. The ship has sailed.”
“We are the wind in their emotional sails,” said Kimi Antonelli tearfully.
“Let’s go write Chapter 16,” Ollie said.
……………..
The fanfic is now marked “Canon-Compliant.”
The author notes read: “They kissed. I win.”
Fernando leaves kudos anonymously.
Jenson leaves comments under the name “CarbonFiberDaddy.”
Lewis Hamilton frames a screenshot.
Sebastian Vettel mails them a handmade quilt that says: “Enemies to Lovers Is Real.”
Daniel Ricciardo tries to sell movie rights.
And the rookies?
Already planning the next fic.
Tagline:
They wrote the fanfic.
The legends made it real.
Formula 1 will never emotionally recover.