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Nero entered the Devil May Cry office without knocking, asking, “Hey Dante, I know you said--”
Nero was cut off by Dante loudly shushing him and motioning him to hide behind the desk with him. Trish was also there. Nero raised a brow.
“What's going on?” Nero asked in a hurried whisper.
“Look over there,” Dante said.
Nero peeked over the desk to see a white cat sitting on a cardboard box. A pizza box.
“You got a shop cat?” Nero asked.
“It’s not a cat,” Dante said.
“That’s Vergil,” Trish explained.
“If that’s Vergil, why are we hiding?” Nero asked.
“He somehow absorbed the Yamato into his claws,” Dante said, “I don’t want the shop to get destroyed.”
“He seems pretty chill though,” Nero commented.
“Now he does,” Trish said, and motioned to Dante’s jacket… which had four slash marks on it.
“How is this stopping you?” Nero asked, “I’ve seen you start brawling over an ice cream bar before.”
“That was mine and he knew it,” Dante defended, “And it's different now because he doesn’t believe us about the whole trick to turning him back.”
Nero rolled his eyes. “Why do you two always make it so complicated? Did you tell him?”
“I did!” Dante said.
“He didn’t,” Trish said, “he just said, ‘I’m gonna kiss you better!’”
“He knew what I meant,” Dante protested, “I wouldn’t say that if there wasn’t more to it.”
Nero sighed. Looks like he would have to be the mediator. Again. He wondered if all brothers were like this? Nero popped his head up and went to the cat. Vergil’s tail was twitching, as was his ear.
“Vergil, the way to break this cat curse, at least historically, is to be kissed by someone who loves you. And frankly, Dante is the only one who loves you.”
Vergil made no move except the continued flicking of his tail.
Nero narrowed his eyes and added, “Sad, right? I know it sounds weird, but Lady turned Dante back when it happened to him, and Nico turned me back when it happened to me. So just suck it up and deal with it!”
Vergil opened his eyes and swatted with his supernatural claws. Nero was just able to block with his own sword. “You son of a bitch!”
Dante launched over the desk shouting, “What did you say about my mom?”
Nero met him with his sword, the two exchanging blows. Before things could get too heated, the front door opened and Nico and Lady entered. Lady saw Vergil and lit up, crouching to pet him. Nero, Dante, and Trish tried to stop her, but they were too late, and Lady had already pet Vergil’s ears.
Vergil tensed, but ultimately didn’t react violently. Everyone stared.
“So you did finally get a cat,” Lady said smiling, “Oh, you’re such a cutie-patootie. Yes you are. Yes you are! He looks just like when Nero turned into a kitty!”
Nico blinked. “So Lady’s just a…”
“For your sake don’t call her a crazy cat lady,” Dante said.
“What did you call me?” Lady snapped, looking up.
“I didn’t say it,” Dante said, “I said specifically not to say it.”
“That’s Vergil,” Trish informed her, “he got turned into a cat.”
“Ew!” Lady said, and pulled away.
Vergil’s ears went back.
“Look old man,” Nero started, “Let Dante kiss you, unless you want to say a cat forever. It’s just on the forehead, it’s not weird.”
“I dunno,” Lady said, “I think I like him better like this.”
“I also prefer Purrgil ,” Nico said.
Trish, Dante, and Lady all chuckled at that. Nero rolled his eyes. Vergil started growling, and Nero thought quickly, He grabbed his father by the scruff and held him at arm's length. Vergil thrashed around, Nico diving for cover, while Nero tried to get him to Dante. Dante lunged at the cat, blocking the slashes with Devil Sword Dante, and pressed a quick kiss to his brother’s head.
In a flash, the three descendents of Sparda were on the ground. Vergil was naked and very unhappy. Nero let go of him and Dante ruffled Vergil’s hair.
“Get off of me you oaf,” Vergil snapped.
“Oh, whatever, go get dressed pervert.”
Vergil glanced up at the three women present, lingering on Trish and seeming to be embarrassed.
He left in a blue flash and Trish rolled her eyes. “Shouldn’t me looking like your mother make him less self conscious?”
“It makes it weirder,” Dante said. He turned to Nero. “So now, with that out of the way, why’d you stop by?”
“Oh uh…” Nero tried to remember. “I don’t… It was…”
“He was asking about chili pepper on icecream,” Nico said, “I told him he’s a freak, but he said it’s really good.”
“Chili pepper?” Dante asked, “When did I tell you about that?”
“You didn’t, but you said you used tajin to stay up during a stake out since caffeine doesn’t work for you. Once I got home, I mixed up the tajin and the cinnamon and it was pretty good. I think you should try it.”
“Tajin on ice cream?” Dante clarified, “That sounds… well, sort of blasphemous, but maybe…” To Lady and Trish he said, “We’re going to the store.”
“Why am I coming too?” Lady asked.
Dante smiled and said, “Because I need your money.”
“Ugh,” she said, “you just take take take!”
“Financially maybe…” Dante added suggestively.
Nero furrowed his brow, still trying to figure it out.
Trish smiled as she watched them bicker, following them out the door. Nero turned to Nico. “You draft out the upgrades?”
“Your aunt’s a demanding woman,” Nico said, “Still cool, but demanding.”
Nero didn’t know what to make of the ‘aunt’ comment, and the two left. “I wonder who else is going to turn into a cat,” Nico commented as they drove away.
“All that’s left is you and Trish now,” Nero said.
“Not Kyrie? She’s as much Devil May Cry as us.”
“No demon is ever getting that close to Kyrie,” Nero vowed.
“Purrgil,” Nico snickered, then added, “Nyaro.”
“Shut up, that’s not even funny.”
“But what would Dante be?” she asked, “Feline-te.”
“That’s a stretch.”
“Danyante,” Nico tried.
Nero snorted.
“Meown-te,” Nico said.
“You’re not even trying!” Nero burst, not helping the giggles.
The phone rang and he answered, “Devil Meow Cry--Fuck! No--sorry, I just-- not you, I’m dealing with-- I’m sorry.”
Nero glared at a smirking Nico while he screened the call.