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Yuu was going to freeze to death.
They were sure of it.
They’d been kidnapped, imprisoned in a gorgeous, sprawling desert palace full of velvet and gold and scalding sarcasm, and now this– this temperature sabotage was the final insult.
*̣̥☆·͙̥‧❆•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧❆‧·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥❆‧·͙̥̣☆*̣̥
They huddled deeper into the dark red cloak they’d “borrowed”.
Oversized (for them, at least), slightly fragrant (earthy spices and pure smugness), and definitely belonging to their captor (that bastard), it was their only source of warmth in this frozen-over tomb of their prison chamber.
They had no fucking idea why this room– they don't know about the other places here because they can't leave this stupid room– was so cold all the time, even during the day. Wasn’t this place in a freaking desert??
They glanced up when he entered.
The ambient glow from the lanterns lit up the dark lines of his face, lips drawn in that signature expression of something somewhere between "I have twenty-three different plans to destroy the world" and "I haven’t had my tea yet". His charcoal grey eyes flickered when he saw them. Bundled in his cloak.
Other than that, he didn’t so much as flinch when he saw them swaddled like a lump of laundry.
“You’re wrapped in my cloak,” he said flatly. "You look..." He paused for a fraction of a nanosecond. "...Adorable. Like a wet sock of a rat who refuses to dry. Pathetic, really."
Yuu pulled the thick fabric of the cloak– his cloak– tighter around themself and glared at the bastard who was probably keeping his body temperature stable with magic, choosing to ignore the insult, for now, in favor of an entirely more inportant question.
“Why the hell is it so cold in here?”
Jamil raised a single elegant brow. Just barely. Just enough to express his apparent complete disregard for the fact that they were on the verge of turning into a particularly strange, especially terrible, highly unfortunate example of a frozen mummy. “You’re still alive, aren’t you?”
“Barely. I think my nose is about to fall off. You’re committing crimes against my sinuses.”
He hummed, side-eyed them. “I’ve committed worse.”
Yuu burrowed deeper into the cloak like a judgmental prairie dog. Or perhaps a very bitter desert gnome. “Isn’t there some evil etiquette about not freezing your nemesis to death? And anyways, you left it in reach. That’s consent. Legally. Probably.”
“I would have thought that the hero is more well educated on the law. And what is against it. Theft is a crime.”
“So is keeping someone in a frozen chamber of guaranteed icy death.”
Jamil sighed the sigh of someone who absolutely had not lowered the temperature by at least ten degrees before entering the room. That’d be weird. That’d be– stupidly emotionally vulnerable.
He turned away, flicking his braids over his shoulder. “You look ridiculous.”
Yuu scowled, burrowing deeper. “It’s your fault. You leave me in this icebox like I’m a block of cheese.”
“You’re supposed to be my prisoner, not a particularly judgmental roommate.”
“Judgemental, am I now? You're one to talk." Yuu huffed. "And maybe, well, if my captor had any sense of hospitality, maybe I wouldn’t be committing minor theft. What kind of villain doesn’t heat their lair?”
"Once again, you are a prisoner, not the guest of honor."
*̣̥☆·͙̥‧❆•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧❆‧·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥❆‧·͙̥̣☆*̣̥
The air, which had long since dropped miles below “chilly”, now landed somewhere around “revenge from the gods.” Stone floors bit into Yuu’s toes. Their breath fogged in front of them. And they were inside. Inside. Indoors.
Yuu froze– more than they already were, that is, although the cloak helped– when he appeared, then snapped their head up with all the absolute fury of someone betrayed by both fate and central heating.
“Why the fuck is it even colder?! How the fuck is it even colder?”
Jamil raised an annoyingly perfect eyebrow, walking past them with practiced indifference. “It gets cold in the desert at night, you idiot.”
They glared. Balefully. “I know that. But it’s magically cold. I saw you lower the temperature with a spell circle yesterday.”
He replied without missing a beat. “Climate change.”
Yuu scowled. “You’re unhinged.”
Jamil barely looked at them. “You’re dramatic.”
The magic mirror on the wall behind him suddenly glowed, and a cheerful voice chimed in.
“Hey, Jamil! Is it snowing over there? Did the temperature drop again?”
Jamil didn’t even turn around. “Climate change.”
Kalim blinked. “Oh! Should I send you another coat??”
Jamil appeared to be considering whether or not sighing for the umpteenth time today would be worth it. “...No need. I have spares.”
"Send the coat to me instead," Yuu muttered.
The mirror shimmered as Kalim giggled. “You two are so funny! Okay, stay warm!”
*̣̥☆·͙̥‧❆•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧❆‧·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥❆‧·͙̥̣☆*̣̥
Somewhere, out of sight, a temperature rune flickered.
Just a little colder.
*̣̥☆·͙̥‧❆•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧❆‧·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥❆‧·͙̥̣☆*̣̥
Jamil Viper was the villain.
And if his mortal enemy happened to look adorable in his cloak, well– He wasn’t about to admit it.
But perhaps he was just a tiny bit curious if they would steal something else, and what.
And if the temperature was still freezing again tomorrow, well...
Climate change.