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Mikey's Comedy Night( or how to roast your family)
It was a peacefull evening in the sewer lair of the teenage mutant ninja turtles. Everyone was minding their own usual business ( from Donnie creating another invention to April and Casey spending some time with the turtles). Or as peacefull as can be when Mikey's around. Why? Because when Michelangelo is around, peace evaporates ( metaphorically speaking, but still).
That night was a special night,anyway. Why? Because it was Mikey's Comedy Night. After pestering his family (and until Master Splinter and Leo agreed just to have some peace) and after he convinced Casey and April to join, all 7 gathered in the living room of the lair( everybody on the couch), while Mikey adjusted the scene, which was a makeshift scene made from an old wooden coffee table, a blanket (Raph's and Mikey didn't regret) and placed in front of the TV. A mic made from spoons, hope and held together by duct tape was in Mikey's hand.
Mikey (excited, his baby blue eyes sparkling with mischief and happiness): Hello gentlemutants, ladies and Casey! Tonight, you'll witness the capodopera of Michelangelo, the great artist of jokes!
Donnie: Actually, Michelangelo Buonaroti was an Italian pictor, not a comediant, so that's historically innacurate.
Mikey: Shh. Tonight, it's the best night of your lives, the night when everybody gets roasted! So prepare dudes,dudette and Sensei to be amazed by the comedic genius!
Raph snorted, and Leo gave him a partial side-eye.
Leo( sighed): This is going to be a long night...
Mikey ignored Leo's comment and Raph's snort and started.
Mikey: Now, I will start with our leader,our Fearless Leader, the blue masked turtle, the golden boy, teacher's pet... Leonardo!
Leo( muttered, eyes wide): Oh, no.
Mikey: Oh yes! First of all, Leo is very responsable and so boooriinnggg.
Leo(cross-armed): Mikey, I'm not boring.I just give you guys advices and try to keep us alive. Basically, my duty as a leader and an older brother.
Mikey: Okay, I get it, but man, you need to relax!
Leo: But I relax.
Mikey: Bro, your definition of relaxation is training.( Mikey now turned his attention to the crowd). Now, don't get me wrong. Leo's my brother and I love him, but he is the type to wake up at 5 AM, train three hours straight and then tell us when we wake up ,,Alright, guys, it's time for morning training!".
The crowd laughed. Even Master Splinter smiled.
Mikey( grinning): He is so obssessed with honour and discipline that he talks in sleep about this and battle strategies!
Leo( trying to defend himself, his cheeks blushing a light shade of pink): No, I don't!
Raph(grinning): No kiddin'.True, Fearless?
Donnie: Actually, I heard him once talking in his sleep..
Leo(turning pink even more, defending): Donnie!
Donnie: Well, I heard you when I came back from my lab during night..
Leo buried his face in his hands and groaned.
Mikey: Fine, fine, I'll let you cool off before you turn red like Raph and his bandana after I prank him.
Raph shot Mikey a glare that could have melted steel, but said nothing to his youngest brother.
Mikey, not the one to don't deliver the cherry on the top, leaned in to the crowd, like when you say a secret.
Mikey (to everyone, but his gaze on Leo): And I bet Karai would agree with me, eh?
Leo turned bright pink and his glare to Mikey could have freeze lava.
The others, on the other hand, were having the time of their lives, especially Raph who nearly cried with tears.
Leo ( voice serious): Mikey... (Leo took a deep breath)...you'll clean the dishes all the week.
Mikey ( gasping): Wait!That's not fair!
Leo: Well, you weren't when you brought up about my crush on Karai.
Leo slapped his hands over his mouth and turned red , while the others howled with laughter. Master Splinter chuckled.
Leo(to Mikey): I hate you.
Mikey(sing-sang, sweet voice): Oh, but you love me,bro! And now, let's move on to my brother in purple, our genius, our resident inventor: Donatello.
Donnie( muttered): I already regret this.
Mikey: Donnie is a genius. He can hack the security system of an alien ship. He built the ShellRaiser and the Party Wagon. But when I ask him about Wi-fi, he's like ,,I can't do nothing".
Everybody laughed, while Donnie glared at Mikey.
Donnie( brows furrowing): Mikey, we live underground . The wi-fi can't function properly here.
Mikey: But you hacked a security system! You built MetalHead! But wi-fi? Nah.
Casey( smirking): Man, really?
Donnie: Shut up,Jones.
Mikey: And the best part: Donnie and girls. I swear, he can build even a plane, but when he has to talk with April, he's like a glitching robot. And his brain?It short-cuts and shows ,,Error 404" with a blue screen! Like last week, when April came in, Donnie was:
,,H-hi April!What do you..um..think about the weather in the lair?".
This time, everybody howled with laughter. April blushed. Donnie turned beet red and considered murder.
Mikey: Speaking of weather , man, this is a cold night. We should make it hot. What do you think about it, Raphie?
Raph's eyes narrowed.
Raph(cracking his knuckles): Mikey, choose yer next words carefully.
Mikey( grinning): Oh, but I am. Right, Raphie?
Raph: Mikey, don't. And don't call me Raphie.
Mikey (sweet voice): What's wrong Raphie? The temperature rises too quickly?
Raph: How 'bout I drop it by punchin' ya into the next week?
Raph cracked his knuckles again, just to emphasise his words.
Mikey: Well, if Raph is good at something, than he's good at getting mad, yelling like a drill sergeant and punching things. And threating, of course.
Raph: Mikey, keep talkin', and I swear, ya'll eat yer teeth.
Mikey (pointing at Raph): See! That's what I am talking about. And if something breaks, he just punches it.
Mikey (fake punch, mimicking Raph):
,,Raph, the TV is broken!" Punch!
,,Raph, the microwave doesn't work!'' Punch!
Casey nearly choked from laughter, while April weeped tears from her eyes from all laugh.
Raph (smirking): Raph, Mikey's an annoyin' pest!
Raph lunged at Mikey, but Mikey dodged easily.
Mikey: You can't hit me!I'm the star of the show!
Raph (crossing his arms): I'm gonna get ya for this.
Mikey turned his look to his father.
Mikey: Now, Master Splinter, my father, my Sensei...
Master Splinter (calm, cross legged, sipping tea): Yes, my son?
Mikey: You're the best father and master I could have asked for. And I will respectfully NOT roast you because I enjoy being alive.
Master Splinter (nodded): Wise choice, Michelangelo.
Mikey( winking at his father): -Besides, you already have to endure the chaos we cause.
Master Splinter (sighed): Also truth..
Mikey turned his gaze and attention to April, which was having very much fun.
Mikey: Now, April.
April looked at Mikey, a playful glint in her eyes.
Mikey: From this room, she's the only person that comes here because she ACTUALLY likes us.
April: That's actually very true, Mikey.
Mikey: She is a skilled fighter. She learned in a few years the skills me and my bros learned in our entire lives. But...She's the only person in the lair who tripped over her own shoelaces.
April (gasped): It happened just one time!
Casey (smiling): Actually twice, Red.
April punched Casey in the arm.
Mikey: And now, the last but not the least, Casey Jones, the human wrecking ball. The vigilante who fights crime with hockey gear and dumb decisions. The man as tough as Rambo and Dominic Toretto, yet smart as a gorilla!
Casey: Hey!
Mikey: Casey's strategy is to run fast like a caffenaited madman and yell ,,Gongala!".
Leo: This is actually worryingly accurate...
Mikey: And he does just two things: punches bad guys and breaks things. Shortly, a human version of Raph.
Casey and Raph:Hey!
Mikey: And let's not forget that last week, he challenged April on a arm-wrestling match and lost!
Casey: She cheated!
April: Hey!
Mikey: You lost in front of a girl. A GIRL.
Leo (exasperated):Mikey, do you have anymore jokes?
Mikey: Well, No.Thanks for witnessing.Ugh..Bye!
Mikey sprinted, the others gave chase, hot on his heels, while Master Splinter watched the whole scene, already used to this kind of chaos.
And as they sprinted across the lair..
Mikey (yelled):BEST NIGHT EVER!
Raph( yelled): COME HERE, LITTLE GREEN GREMLIN!
The End.