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dad, these scars won't fade away

Summary:

With him and Ethan finally getting together, Silver decided to try and get a place of his own. However, no one in the entirety of Kanto and Johto would sell to him for one very specific reason. Even with him being out of Silver’s life for what seemed like forever, it seemed the shadow of Giovanni could never be escaped.

Or the 5 times Silver told others about his father + the 1 time Ethan opened up about his own.

Notes:

Hello, everyone! So sorry it's been a while since I last posted. I got so busy with finals and other things, and thought it would be best to at least post the first chapter. The other 5 are in varying states of completion, so please stay tuned!
Work and Chapter Titles From: “Dearest” by One True Thing

Chapter 1: as i stand here all alone

Summary:

In spite of his opposition for handouts, Silver enlists the help of Lance to find a permanent place to live.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

This was the last straw. Another settlement, another landlord who turned Silver away for “no reason.” Well… there was a reason, and Silver had seen enough in his life to know what it was. He knew he would always be in the shadow of one man. A man that Silver had not seen in years, but could never forget. Silver never asked for his parentage, but there was nothing he could do except accept he was the son of Giovanni.

Of course, none of the landlords would actually admit out loud that was the reason. However, Silver saw their faces when they read his full name. Some of them even knew who Silver was just by appearance. Arceus, this was such a shit situation. Silver hadn’t even bothered to visit Giovanni in years. Saffron City’s maximum security prison turned out to be no joke.

Despite the trouble all this was, Silver still wanted his own place. Visiting Ethan was nice, but it was hard to fit two people in a twin-sized bed. There was no place for Ethan to visit Silver, unless the former wanted to share a room at a Pokémon Center or spend most nights out in the woods. It was no secret that Silver moved from place to place, but only now did he finally feel secure enough in actually trying to stick to a place.

Maybe it was the time that had passed since Team Rocket’s multiple defeats or maybe it was Ethan’s influence. Whatever the case may have been, Silver felt ready, both mentally and financially, to move somewhere. Yet, this fucking problem just kept showing up. At this point, Silver would need a miracle to even get to make an offer.

The thought that Silver… could ask for help, entered his thoughts. It was so unlike him to try something like that, but whatever other option did he have? Resorting to crime again? No, Silver refused to go down that path ever again. With a sigh, he began walking away from the apartment building he had just been rejected by. He pulled out his Pokégear from his pocket. Silver had promised he would use it more, so perhaps now was the time.

Silver scrolled through his Pokégear contact list, which had been getting bigger lately. Who could he ask for help? He stopped at each contact and thought about what they might do. The one person he absolutely couldn’t ask would be Ethan. As much as he loved Ethan, he wanted to surprise him. Part of the reason for getting a property in the first place is so he and Ethan could have more privacy. So, Ethan was out of the question.

Thinking about the other people in his contacts, he could ask Blue. Silver and Blue ended up connecting over their partners and both were formerly the scourges of them. Then again, Blue didn’t always play nice and might further alienate Silver from getting a place even more. Red was a person that briefly appeared in Silver’s mind. Despite his strength and status, Red was not the greatest conversationalist. Leaf was another option, but Silver didn’t know her that well. Maybe Silver should think about someone else.

Lyra and Kris could be good options. They were friendly and approachable, and would absolutely have Silver’s back. The one issue was that they weren’t great at keeping secrets. Silver felt like even if he swore Lyra and Kris to secrecy, they’d probably let it slip to Ethan anyways. That also took Marigold out of the running, too. She could keep a secret, but it felt weird to ask Ethan’s mom to help Silver with something that her son couldn’t know about just yet.

Other people like Professor Elm came to mind, but it still wouldn’t feel right. Silver stole from him and even though he was long forgiven, it just didn’t make sense. None of the Elite Four or Gym Leaders would be good options either. Despite having their contacts, Silver rarely used them and didn’t know them much outside of battling. That really only left one person. Someone who was friendly, could keep a secret, and Silver knew somewhat well.

Lance. Silver could ask Lance, as he fit all of the requirements. Not to mention how Lance was pretty busy, so chances were, Silver could just Torchic out if he wasn’t feeling up to it. Silver could still find some way to go solo, but he might as well try Lance. Taking a deep breath, Silver pressed Lance’s contact name on his Pokégear and held it up to his mouth.

The Pokégear rang once, twice, and then it picked up. “Ah, Silver. What a pleasant surprise! How are you doing?”

Damnit. Guess Silver jinxed it. He took another breath before speaking into his Pokégear. “Hello… Lance… could I ask for your… h-help?”

“Of course! Is everything alright? What do you need help with?” Lance asked, voice laced with concern.

“Um… you’re sure you’re not, not busy?” Silver responded. Arceus, why was socializing with someone other than Ethan hard?

“Not at the moment, no. We haven’t had any League challengers in a bit,” Lance said. Silver could feel Lance’s grin over the phone. “But even if I was busy, I would try my best to make time for you, anyways!”

Silver did not like the way his heart jumped at that. There was no way around it, he should just rip off the bandage. “Well, I’ve been… been trying to m-move somewhere.”

When Silver didn’t say anything more, Lance chimed in. “That’s wonderful, Silver! You know, I’ve been hoping that you would try and find a permanent place for a while. What seems to be the issue?”

“No one will s-sell or l-lease to me,” Silver said shakily. There, he got some of it out, now he just needs to say the last part. “I… I think I know why.”

Lance goes quiet for a moment, probably thinking of the reasons Silver wouldn’t be leased a residence. “Oh— oh Silver. I’m so sorry. I wish I could say that I was surprised people were still judging you for being Giovanni’s son, but I know how cruel others can be. I will absolutely help you. Where are you right now?”

“I’m in Goldenrod. I figured… that I could get a place close to New Bark,” Silver said. He didn’t have to say that last part, yet something compelled him.

“Alright. I will be there in a few minutes. Hang tight, Silver,” Lance said, the sound of a Poké Ball opening being heard on the other line. “Let’s meet in front of the Pokémon Center.”

“Understood,” Silver ended the conversation, pressing the hang up button.

With that, Silver picked up his pace. There was no telling when Lance would get to the Pokémon Center, and Silver just wanted to get this over with. On one hand, Lance would absolutely be the key to getting a home, with his confidence, kindness, and status. But on the other hand, Silver preferred to do everything alone. In the reasonable part of his mind, he knew this was a good thing, but sensible thoughts weren’t his forte.

The Pokémon Center was only a few blocks away, so it didn’t take long for Silver to reach it. He stood in front of the building, tapping his foot impatiently. Patience never was Silver’s forte, so every minute felt longer than it usually did. Lance eventually showed, or maybe it was sooner than Silver thought (he hadn’t checked the time). Dragonite had swiftly and gracefully lowered herself to the ground, closing her wings once landed.

Lance hopped his Dragonite and returned her to her Poké Ball. He turned to Silver with a reassuring grin. “Hey, pal. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long.”

“Hmph, it’s whatever,” Silver said, crossing his arms.

“Alright, then. Could you catch me up on where you’ve been looking for places?” Lance asked, seemingly not taking offense to Silver’s tone.

Silver took a few steps away from the Pokémon Center for the sake of privacy. Lance followed, and the two sat down on a nearby bench. With a sigh, Silver began talking. “I’ve tried to go to most of the towns and cities. I’ve avoided Saffron City… for obvious reasons. The Magnet Train is convenient, but well… you know.”

“I understand your reservations. Where else have you looked or anywhere else you wanna avoid?” Lance asked, resting a gentle hand on Silver’s shoulder.

“Well, uh, let’s see. I’ve checked Cherrygrove, Violet, Azalea, but those were all no’s too. They probably remember my battles there too, huh?” Silver responded, unsure if Lance even knew about the early days of his Pokémon journey. “Both Pallet and New Bark have no open homes. Olivine, Cianwood, Vermillion, and Cerulean City all feel too far from Ethan. Lavender Town is too creepy.”

Scratching his chin, Lance looked up at the sky in thought. “How about Ecruteak, Mahogany, Pewter, or Viridian?”

“Pewter and Viridian were two of the cities that saw my name and turned me away. So were Celadon and Fuschia City,” Silver said, thinking of all the worried faces from landlords. “Ecruteak and Mahogany I have yet to check.”

“So… that leaves those two, Cinnabar Island, and, well, Blackthorn City,” Lance surmised with a smile.

Ignoring the mention of Blackthorn, Silver rolled his eyes at the suggestion of Cinnabar. “C’mon, you really want me to go live near an active volcano zone? They may have rebuilt, but I don’t trust moving there.”

Lance chuckled, eyes crinkling. “Fair point. I can already tell that you would probably wanna avoid Blackthorn—”

“How do you do that?” Silver interrupted. Lance always confused him with how was so easily able to understand what Silver felt.

“Hm? What do you mean?” Lance asked, turning to Silver.

“Understand what I want,” Silver murmured, hoping Lance would either understand him or just move on.

“Oh, well, I know you. We’ve known each other for almost a decade, remember?” Lance reminded him. Silver was not prepared for what Lance said next. “I care about your feelings, Silver.”

Silver felt his cheeks heat up and hid behind his sleeve. Oh no, he was about to confess something, wasn’t he? He could stop it. He could— “My father… didn’t really do that. He was always committed to Team Rocket.”

“He didn’t care about your feelings?” Lance asked, eyebrows pinched and fist clenched. He was angry, and Silver never had seen this kind of emotion from him.

“I don’t know what it was. Father just never seemed to really read my mind and understand what I was feeling, like you did,” Silver said. This was really scary, but Lance was always here. Maybe he could open up? “Um, can I say something else?”

Lance turned to Silver and firmly placed his hands on the other’s shoulders, locking eyes. “Silver, you can tell me anything. I promise. I’ll do my best to support you in any way you can.”

“I… I, um, I could never really tell if my father cared about my wants or desires. He never asked,” Silver admitted, glancing away. “And I hadn’t understood that it was normal to ask about others’ feelings until after he… left. I just thought adults made all the decisions for children. I didn’t want that, but I also wasn’t really taught to ‘check in’ with people.”

“Look, pal, I want you to know that what happened with Giovanni was not your fault and was not okay. Everyone deserves a normal, happy childhood, but there are some adults who just refuse to provide that,” Lance said. Silver could practically feel his fierce expression, even while looking away. “I’m so proud of who you are now. You may not have been taught any of that stuff from your father, but you developed it anyway.”

“Thanks,” Silver muttered, scratching the back of his head.

Suddenly, Silver felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him. Usually, he would really only accept Ethan’s hugs, but he might have to add Lance to the list. Lance was so warm and firm in his hold. It was protective, almost…. almost paternal. Not that Silver would really understand that, but this must have been that, right? He wasn’t sure what Lance was to him, but something about this hug was nice.

Silver disconnected the hug after a minute and gave Lance a soft smile. “Um, about avoiding Blackthorn, would you happen to know of any places on the market there?”

“Well, actually, I do. There’s a small cottage that just opened up,” Lance recalled. He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “I believe that the previous owners moved to Sinnoh. From what I understand, the home has all the necessary appliances and the costs should be okay.”

Could this be considered a handout? It couldn’t be, right? Silver could rent the home on his own and Lance had the connections to at least prevent him from being shooed away. This wasn’t like Silver at all to even ask for the help, so what hurt could it be trying this property? Pretty much every other town or city had turned him away, and if this didn’t work, he could always go to the remaining few that hadn’t turned him away at the door.

Silver took a deep breath, making his choice. “Okay. That sounds pretty good. I’ve been saving the money I get from battles, since I don’t use it for much anymore.”

“Perfect. Let me go make a quick phone call. I know the landlord and I’ll see if she’s available for a meeting,” Lance said, standing up.

“Wait… you know the landlord?” Silver asked. He did not know how to feel about that.

Lance nodded, pulling out his Pokégear. “Blackthorn’s a pretty small community, so everyone who’s my age or older watched me grow up or I grew up with them.”

When Silver didn’t say anything, Lance smiled again and walked away. Silver could faintly hear him talking on the phone to someone, but tuned him out. Lance knew the landlord? Would that be considered a handout? Silver’s already gone this far, but the doubts are too big in his mind.

Giovanni always emphasized the importance of self-sufficiency, which was probably the only thing Silver continued to practice from his father’s teachings. It seemed to work out for him in the long run, even as he continued to let people in. This would be difficult to do, but Silver was going to trust Lance.

For whatever reason, Lance had never asked for anything in return from Silver. Which was why he decided to place his incredibly fragile trust into Lance. If it bit him in the ass, Silver had his Pokémon and maybe Ethan to fall back on. With the trust now placed, Lance appeared by the bench again.

“Okay, pal, I just got off the phone with Ryoko, she’s the landlord. She’s free right now and willing to meet you,” Lance said, pushing his Pokégear into his pocket. “I told her a bit of your situation, but she’s willing to meet you.”

Silver tensed at the comment, but lightened up at the first she’d be willing to meet. “Alright, do you think she’d accept an offer I’d put down? Or would I still be looked at as a hindrance just from meeting me?”

Lance rubbed his chin, before looking Silver in the eye. “Do you need some extra reassurance?” Silver hesitated for a moment, before nodding. “Well, I have an idea.”

“I’d… be willing to hear a suggestion,” Silver admitted. Whatever solution Lance had might prevent Silver from coming across as a closed-off jerk to this Ryoko person.

“If we co-sign a lease, then that could indicate to Ryoko that you’re less of a perceived liability,” Lance proposed, searching for Silver’s reaction.

Okay, that was almost definitely a handout and Silver needed to set the record straight. “I don’t want your hand—”

“No, no, I promise I'll let you pay rent on your own. Unless, you needed the help that is,” Lance cut in, holding his hands up in protest.

Silver paused, taking in Lance’s words. He was just trying to help, right? “You would… you would do that?”

“Of course I would, Silver. I’ve got your back, don’t forget that,” Lance said, nodding resolutely.

With those small words, Silver stood up. He was ready to go meet Ryoko. To make an offer, and hopefully get a home. Silver wasn’t the most hopeful person, but if all went well, then that would mean all the puzzle pieces would finally fall into place. He’d be taking one more step towards having a secure life.


The trip to Blackthorn City felt brief. Silver and Lance had some small conversations and the time flew by. Crobat and Dragonite flapped their wings swiftly, reaching their destination in a small amount of time. When they were above Blackthorn City, Lance pointed the Pokémon in the direction of the potential new home. A straw roof came into view, and their descent began.

As they landed, Silver realized he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Everything seemed to be falling into place and appeared to be promising. What could actually happen had the potential to be anything but good. Crobat and Dragonite touched down on the ground, and Silver knew that meant that he needed to take action. It was time to take control of the situation.

“What do you think of the place?” Lance asked, dismounting from his Dragonite and returning her to a Poké Ball. Once Silver did the same, Lance stepped over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Silver looked the home up and down. The yellow straw roof appeared to be sturdy. Eyes trailed from the olive-green walls with a shingle pattern to the consistently small sizes of the windows. It was all on top of a foundation with a small porch out front. Silver glanced from the blue front door towards Lance. “It’s nice.”

“Glad you think so. Now, let’s go meet Ryoko,” Lance said, leading Silver up the porch stairs with a hand hovering on his back.

Without a second thought, Lance rang the doorbell as soon as he and Silver reached the entrance. On instinct, Silver clenched his fists, tightly shaking them. He had no idea who Ryoko was, or what she looked like. The door swung open, and on the other side was an elderly woman of short stature.

Lance grinned at the new presence. “Hello, Ryoko! This is Silver, he’s a trusted ally of mine. He was interested in your cottage property that just opened up.”

“Anyone Lance trusts is automatically welcome,” Ryoko greeted with a smile. She turned her back and motioned to the two to follow. “Come inside, have a seat.”

Ducking his head under a door frame once again, Silver entered inside the empty home. There was practically no furniture in sight, other than squeaky clean appliances. Silver removed his shoes out of politeness and put them to the side. He walked along the wood floor to the only chairs in sight, which were bar stools in the kitchen.

Ryoko was already sitting in the kitchen and patted the seat beside her. Silver took it, placing his bag on the ground next to him. Lance quickly followed, taking a seat next to Silver. Ryoko smiled warmly at the pair, folding her hands together. Trying his best to maintain a blank expression, Silver had no idea how this was going to go.

“Thank you for taking an interest in this property, Silver,” Ryoko began, sending a kind glance towards him. “Would you prefer to tour this cottage first? Or do the interview?”

There was a lot for Silver to lose if he got his hopes up, so he knew his answer. “The interview.”

“Alright, then. May I see your Trainer Card?” Ryoko asked, putting on a pair of reading glasses that was on her shirt. She also pulled out a notepad and pen.

Fishing his Trainer Card out of his pockets, Silver handed it to her with a shaky, reluctant hand. Ryoko took it, not fazed by Silver’s movements. She copied down some information into the notepad and handed it back to him with little-to-no fanfare. Silver gulped, waiting for the inevitable next part: where he’d be asked to leave.

“Well, Silver, you seem to be in a great position with your trainer career. Both sets of badges from Kanto and Johto is especially impressive,” Ryoko said. She put the pen down and locked eyes with Silver. “How long have you been at your current home?”

Silver let out a sigh of relief, but just as quickly tensed up again. He’s never made it this far with a landlord, and somehow that was both a good and bad thing. What was he supposed to say about his current living? The woods? A Pokémon Center if the weather was especially bad? Very rarely, Lance’s home?

“Um…” Silver began. He looked to Lance, who just gave him a simple nod. “I… am…” Silver needed to think of an intelligent way to tell the truth. “Primarily… a traveling trainer! Yes, that’s right. I don’t really have a current home, per say, but I’ve been pretty self-sufficient out on the road.”

“On occasion, Silver has also stayed at my home as well. But I’ve seen him out on the wild, he’s incredible,” Lance added with a wide grin.

Ryoko matched Lance’s smile. “Ah, I see. If that’s the case, why did you decide to settle somewhere?”

“I’ve been traveling for so long and as I get older, I’d like a place to stay,” Silver said, the explanation rolling off the tongue surprisingly well.

“That makes perfect sense,” Ryoko said, adjusting her glasses. “Is Lance planning on moving in with you? Or anyone else, for that matter.”

Lance shook his head. “I’m here to support Silver, rather than move anywhere. I also suggested the possibility of me co-signing a lease with him to showcase my trust in him.”

“That won’t be necessary. Silver’s Trainer Card more than proves that he’s perfectly capable and has a good income,” Ryoko asserted. Silver… certainly wasn’t expecting that. “For that matter, could I discuss a few things alone with him?”

Silver and Lance looked towards each other and then back at Ryoko. Pausing for a moment, Silver relented with a nod. Lance smiled once more and patted the other’s shoulder, afterwards getting up from the stool. He walked outside quickly, leaving Silver and Ryoko alone. Silver took a deep breath, his body slightly shaking.

Noticing Silver’s body language, Ryoko held up a hand in front of her face. “You’re not in any kind of trouble, but I wanted to confirm something with you myself. Is your father Giovanni of Team Rocket?”

This was it. Ryoko was just being nice to placate Lance. Now that he left, she was going to let him have it. Things were going so well, but here they were, unravelling. Silver didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. It was just him and a stranger, and he let his hopes rise. He wasn’t supposed to do that.

Before Silver could continue spiraling, Ryoko’s voice cut in. “Listen, Silver, you seem like a good kid. No matter who your dad is. So long as you’ve got Lance by your side, you’ll be alright.”

“Oh… well, in that case… yes. My father is Giovanni,” Silver got out. He tried to keep a blank face, even ignoring the annoyance of being called “kid.”

Ryoko nodded in acknowledgment. “Okay, thank you for being honest. Your parentage doesn’t make any sort of liability for me, but the people of Blackthorn admire transparency and truth. The bluntness of dragon Pokémon most certainly contributes to that. With your honesty, I see no reason why I should not allow you to make an offer.”

Silver let out a breath he didn’t know was holding. “Thank you. You have no idea how grateful I am.”

“I can only imagine,” Ryoko said with a chuckle. “Now, would you like to tour the property now? It’s a little small, but perfect for a trainer and six Pokémon.”

“Could we perhaps do that another day?” Silver asked, pulling out his wallet. “I’d like to make an offer and secure the place. As someone Lance trusts, I think I’d be willing to take a chance.”

“It’s a little unconventional, but I don’t see why not,” Ryoko answered. She pulled out a sheet of paper and pushed it towards him. “This has all the information on this place. For now, I would look at the amount of rooms and suggested price range.”

Picking up the piece of paper, Silver skimmed it front to back. Two bedrooms, one kitchen, one living room, one bathroom. That seemed like more than enough for Silver, and he could turn one of the bedrooms into a study or something of the like. His eyes flitted down to the price range.

To his surprise, Silver felt like he could make that work. He wrote down a number on the paper. Not quite the suggested maximum, but far enough from the minimum that it wouldn’t seem like he was cheating her out of anything. Silver slid the paper back over to Ryoko, resolved to see this through.

Ryoko looked over the paper and gave Silver a reassuring look. “I’ll be sure to take your offer into account and get back to you. Now, don’t keep Lance waiting.”

Standing up, Silver finally felt a small smile come to his lips. Whatever would happen next, at least there were people who would actually hear him out. He grabbed his bag and walked towards the entrance. Silver would tour this place later, but he wanted to thank someone first.

He shoved on his shoes quickly and was just about to head out the door, but took one last look at Ryoko. She was reading through some papers, but stopped to give Silver a thumbs up. With that, he walked outside, noticing Lance sitting on the stairs. Silver took a step forward, and Lance seemed to hear it.

Lance stood up and turned to Silver. “Oh, thank Arceus, you made it out. How did it go?”

“It went… surprisingly well,” Silver said, rubbing his arm.

“Glad to hear it, pal,” Lance responded, smiling warmly.

Before he could know what he was doing, Silver crashed into Lance with a tight hug. Lance froze for a moment, before reciprocating and wrapping his arms around Silver. It was awkward. At least, that’s how Silver felt it was. He wasn’t affectionate or emotional to people other than Ethan. However, Silver wanted, no, needed, to show his gratitude to Lance.

“Thank you,” Silver whispered, with as genuine a tone he could muster.

Lance blinked, before gently caressing some of Silver’s hair. “Anytime, pal. I mean it.”

Everything Silver has done from the past couple years may have gone against what Giovanni taught, but that only proved that he was wrong. He was never warm or loving, but Lance was. Giovanni always decided what Silver wanted, but Lance never did. His father wasn’t in the picture any more, but Lance was still here.

Silver wasn’t sure if he wanted to put a label on his feelings about Lance, yet he was most certainly caring. Lance didn’t have any kids or really much family outside of Clair. All of sudden, Silver sort of felt like Lance had been treating him as if he was family this whole time. Whatever that really meant, Silver kind of… liked it.

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed! The following chapters will have Silver continue his quest to get a permanent home, all while going on some random adventures with the rest of the Johto + Kanto gang. Please stay tuned!

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