Archive of Our Own

Usually the arrival at a new planet is something to celebrate, something to be proud of. The trip to Amphoreus was different. It was supposed to be exciting! The planet may as well be completely undocumented. Not even the IPC had put their greasy hands anywhere near it.

Yet Stelle wasn’t all that enthused, and one glance at Dan Heng could inform anyone that he wasn’t entirely thrilled either. Nothing could fill the March-shaped hole in the trio after the news broke of her sudden bout of illness.

That’s how Stelle found herself hovering just outside of March’s door just a couple hours before she was supposed to depart. 

She’s not really sure how long she’s been pacing in front of her room. March could be sleeping. She probably should be sleeping. If that’s the case, then Stelle can’t just barge in and wake her up. However, Stelle really wants to talk to her before she has to go.

She weighs the pros and cons, her hand poised to knock on the door.

The door opens before her knuckles have a chance to make contact. March’s unimpressed gaze meets her own. 

“Uh, hey,” Stelle says awkwardly, her hand reaching to scratch the back of her head.

March rolls her eyes. “Hey yourself!”

It doesn’t match her usual energy. Then again, nothing about her current status did. There was an unnatural droop to her unusually dim eyes. Puffs of visible frost blew out of her mouth with each exhale. She hadn’t even bothered to change out of her usual outfit yet. It wasn’t an uncommon thing to see from her when she was sick, but that didn’t make it any less upsetting.

“Well, are you going to come in or not?” 

Oops.

She didn’t realize that she had been staring. She’s thankful that March doesn’t bother asking for a reason for her showing up. The countless instances where Stelle has just barged in and made herself at home worked wonders in that case.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry!” Stelle flashes a grin and strolls past the sickly girl. She flops onto the very corner of March’s bed, the mattress easily giving way to her weight.

March follows behind her, albeit much more slowly. She sits right beside her, but not without wincing. A thicker cloud of frost crosses her lips. Her arms cross as she hugs herself for a second, a bout of shivers wracking her form. 

Her companion appears a little too cold for comfort. Naturally, Stelle scoots closer so that their hips touch. She slings a friendly arm over March’s shoulder as well. “You didn’t have to get out of bed for me you know,” she says, “I could’ve just let myself in!” Eventually.

“Your shadow passing under my door for the past five minutes says otherwise.” March raises a brow.

Heat rushes to her cheeks and she turns her head to face away from her. Of course March had noticed her pacing. Got you there. Stelle internally sighs. 

“Anyway,” March drawls, “you’re super quiet today compared to normal. Did something come up? I know you and Dan Heng are leaving today.” Her voice takes a small dip into more of a somber tone.

It’s a blink and you’ll miss it kind of change. All it does is confirm the suspicions she already had. 

“Yeah, that’s the base of it anyway,” Stelle replies simply with a shrug. Leave it to March to dive right into what’s digging at her. No stops, no breaks. Not when it matters anyway. She probably felt relatively the same since this is their first trailblaze mission apart.

“Sooo,” The girl at her side lays her head directly onto her shoulder. The coldness of her cheek seeps right through the fabric of her jacket and settles on her skin. “What's up?”

Stelle hesitates, mostly unsure of how to word her problem without sounding pathetic or belittling to March. The woman in question blinks sleepily up at her, waiting, expectant. 

Everything else in the room is suddenly far more interesting than the conversation in hand.

Wuss. She frowns as she snarks at herself. 

Better answer before March prods at her and makes her feel even more stupid for dragging it out. Rip the bandaid off or something.

“Are you… gonna be okay without us?” Without me? The last part is left unsaid. She hopes the implication is more than enough to get the idea across.

To her surprise, this only makes March giggle. Stelle had half a mind to be offended, but the sound of her laugh made her stellaron flutter within her chest.

“Hey, I’ll be fine! It’s not like I’m going anywhere while you two have all the fun on Amphoreus.” March had said with a teasing yet tired smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Just worry about yourself for once, dummy.”

“Me?” She blinked owlishly.

“Yeah you, miss danger magnet. Don’t make poor Dan Heng bust you out of another prison cell or something while I’m not there!”

“What? When have I ever–“ Stelle starts, only to silence herself with a click of her teeth. No, actually. March has a point. A pretty good one. She kind of gets into a lot of trouble faster than the average person.

“Uh huh. That’s what I thought.”

“I’ll show you danger!” Stelle snickers, using her free hand to ruffle March’s hair. 

March gives an indignant squawk, lifting her head from Stelle’s shoulder and swatting at her hands. The gray-haired woman, however, does not care. The arm still looped around March’s shoulder tugs her right back before she could escape. Despite her actions, she’s gentle. She’s not about to roughhouse March too bad while she’s under the weather.

“Get off me you–“ 

“Ahem…”

March cuts off her own sentence and Stelle stops mid ruffle.

The sound of someone clearing their throat had come from the hall. 

Her door wasn’t closed. Neither of the women bothered to slide the door back shut behind them. Both of their gazes trail to the perpetrator that stumbled upon the scene.

Dan Heng stands in the doorway, his gaze averted. “Heard a bit of commotion from the archives, so I figured I’d check it out. Am I… interrupting something?”

“Nope!” / “Not at all!”

The pair blurts out in unison. Stelle lets go of March, her arm returning back to her side. She just offers Dan Heng a shrug and a smug grin. On the other hand, March quickly fixes her own messy pink locks with an embarrassed smile. 

Once situated, March pats the empty spot on her other side. “Come sit with us, Dan Heng! You two have to let me have some trio time before you go trapezing around a cool and awesome new planet without me!” 

There wasn’t a single chance that he would have said no anyway, not with a sickly March giving him puppy eyes.

Dan Heng raises a brow at them both. Stelle gives him a thumbs up, her grin unwavering. He shrugs, walking forward and partially leaning against the wall between the bed and her desk rather than sitting down.

“Close enough,” Stelle comments. He crosses his arms, but doesn’t glance at her. It’s not hard to notice his teal eyes training right onto March since he approached. 

Stelle gets it.

March doesn’t. 

“What’s with you guys staring at me today!” March complains, her nose doing a telltale scrunch of annoyance. 

Dan Heng closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Please just be sure to take it easy while we’re gone, March.”

March flops backward with an exasperated groan. “Ugh, first Stelle, now you!” she scoffs. “Guys, I’m going to be fine! The rest of the crew will be right here with me. They’re not gonna let me blow away in the wind like a pile of Pom-Pom’s fur!”

March doesn’t sit back up immediately, choosing to switch between glaring at both of them instead. Stelle at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed. Dan Heng, however, remains impassive. 

“You’re both insufferable!”

Now it’s Stelle’s turn to start laughing.

“Aww, is Marchie mad that we care about little old her?” She snickers as she pokes the mentioned woman right in her cheek.

March reaches to her left and promptly whacks her with a pillow.

“Owww,” Stelle fakes a whine.

“I’ll give you something to actually cry about!” 

March goes to swing her pillow again. Stelle rockets off the bed and ambles a few paces away. 

A noise close enough to a cut-off light chuckle comes from beside her bed. The man wisely has his gaze averted again. However, the pink-haired woman already noticed his slip-up. March redirects her malice and tosses the pillow directly at Dan Heng’s head.

Dan Heng easily catches the pillow, but not without betrayal coloring his features. “Now what did I do to deserve that?”

“Don’t encourage her when she’s being annoying!” 

Even while sick, it’s really easy to get her riled up. It’s fair to say Stelle probably has way too much practice in the art that it just comes naturally at this point. Leave it to Dan Heng to always get dragged into her antics by accident somehow.

Stelle points and laughs at March from where she’s standing halfway across the room. March rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at her.

Dan Heng abandons his place leaning against the wall, the pillow tucked under one arm. Stelle watches him warily as he walks right next to her. It’s suspicious, but she still knows better than to try running away from him.

Maybe if she tries a different approach.

“Hey… Dan H– Ack!” 

Dan Heng smacks the back of her head with the pillow hard enough to make her stumble forward. March sits back up in a fit of giggles from her place on her bed. “That,” he says with the smallest of a smile, “was for antagonizing March while she can’t chase you down.”

“Traitor,” Stelle mutters, now actually rubbing the back of her head for a good reason.

Dan Heng lightly tosses the pillow to March, who then discards it back to the side. 

It's then that all three of their phones chime at once. Most likely the Astral Express group chat then. Dan Heng is the first to pull out his phone. The screen lights up, and the slight frown is immediate upon looking at his notifications. He types something out, and both March and Stelle’s phones ping again.

“So, what was that about?” Stelle asks as if she can’t just check her own phone literally sitting in her pocket. It wasn’t worth the effort if Dan Heng was already on it.

“It was from Himeko,” he says, “she said the train car is almost ready, so we should work on finishing packing soon.”

The mood in the room drops exponentially. 

“Oh,” is all Stelle can think of to reply with.

“Oh,” March echoes and slouches a little lower. “I guess that means you two should get going! I don’t want to make you guys late!” The enthusiasm is forced, but Stelle pretends not to notice.

“I told her to give us a few minutes,” Dan Heng says, voice a bit softer than normal. 

Silence overtakes the room, not a single person is sure of what to say. It’s once again March who steps up to break the awkward and sullen air permeating the room.

“Oh come on now, both of you, c’mere!” March opens her arms with a smile. “I’d get up and tackle-hug the heck out of you two myself, but I don’t think my legs would like that very much right now.”

It should take at least four strides to reach her, but both Dan Heng and Stelle meet March in two. Stelle is the first to wrap her arms around March while Dan Heng’s longer arms follow and hold them both. Wisps of March's frosted breath passes by them, but neither of them seem to be bothered by it. They stay like that for what seems like an entire minute before the departing companions find their voices again.

“Take care of yourself, March.” He says, letting go and stepping away.

“See you soon, March!” Stelle follows after one last tighter squeeze.

March scoots a little further back on her bed with a toothy smile. “Don’t worry, you two! I’ll be back on my feet before you have the chance to start missing a pretty girl like me!”

“You better,” Stelle salutes while spinning in a 180 on her heels.

She only takes a few steps before March gasps behind them. 

“Oh, hang on a sec!”

Stelle halts in place. Dan Heng looks back as well.

Their friend flashes them a low peace sign. Her other thumb, however, gestures in the direction of her photo wall. “Don’t forget to take pictures for me! Dan Heng, if you don’t smile in at least one of them then I’m trashing the whole batch!” She jokingly threatens

As if she’d ever do that in the first place.

“Your camera is nice and safe in my pocket!” Stelle reassures. She fishes March’s blue little camera out as proof. “I promise I’ll snap you some good ones. You better be ready to sit through a whole slideshow once I’m back! One world-renowned Dan Heng smile included.”

“I’ll hold you to that! Now go on before Mr. Yang or Himeko comes by to drag you two out.”

Even though she’s right. They should leave to finish preparing the car. It doesn’t make walking away from March any easier. She needs to rest though. It wasn’t hard to tell that the girl was putting up a front to be able to hang out with the two of them one more time.

“We’re going, we’re going!” Stelle fights back a whine. She makes it halfway out the door before she sends one final glance over her shoulder.

March smiles right back, the exhaustion surrounding her far more evident than ever.

She nods at her and goes on, rounding the corner into the hall so she can’t give herself another reason to look back. Dan Heng waits just a few paces ahead.

“Be safe!” March shouts as Stelle and Dan Heng travel further down the hall.

“We will!” They both call back, exchanging a knowing look with each other.

It was only a temporary goodbye. They’d be back together soon enough. For now, they have a new trailblaze mission to finish preparing for, and March has to get better so she can set foot on the new planet herself.

She had been chatting and gallivanting around the car as they entered the atmosphere of Amphoreus. Enthusiasm had laced her tone while Dan Heng shook his head at her boundless energy. It was a normal scene she’d expect anywhere else except it was just the two of them going in alone.

Then there was a flash of red light. It shot straight through with her right in its trajectory. The shriek of tearing metal and flesh reverberated in her ears as a white hot pain exploded all over her. The last thing she remembers is getting thrown backwards, slamming her head against the wall before the cold grasp of unconsciousness took over her senses.

Stelle doesn’t know what happened after that.

She doesn’t even know what caused that.

Despite her predicament, the only thought running through her head was damn, should’ve worn a seatbelt. 

Every single one of her senses screamed at her to move, to do something, but it was like her brain wasn’t connected to the rest of her body anymore. To make matters worse, everything hurt. Her nerves may as well have been on fire from head to toe. 

It’d probably be easier to say she lost a fight with a blender. Except… instead of a blender, it was a big metal death trap disguised as an Astral Express train car. 

“–lle? Stelle?!”

The voice sounded so close yet so far away. The vibrations of footsteps near her head are the only warning she receives before she’s slowly rolled onto her back. Despite the careful movement, it still hurts. A sharp hiss rips out from her clenched teeth, the tips of her fingers curling and gripping at nothing but open air.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Dan Heng’s apologetic and uncharacteristically shaky tone is immediately recognizable amidst the chaos. 

A wave of comfort washes over her. Dan Heng is here. He’d also made it through whatever the hell just happened to them. 

If she felt this awful then there was no telling what the condition of her companion was.

Stelle attempts to open her eyes, but only one bothers to raise more than a slit. Her right eye felt as if it was sealed shut. Maybe it had something to do with the wetness she felt on her face and the sharp burning sensation nestled right above her eyebrow. The dark gray haze of thick smoke left a sting in her eye, but Stelle refused to let it fall shut again. 

She had to make sure Dan Heng was okay. 

The man in question was reduced to a black and teal smudge that blurred around the edges of her vision. Dan Heng kneels in front of her, one hand still carefully holding her shoulder while the other raised hesitantly near her head. His gaze was narrowed and frantic, surveying her until his eyes met her own. A part of his expression seemed to soften, but the urgency and poorly veiled fear remained. 

Stelle squints her eye the best she can. The smudges of color focused just in time to catch the man furrowing his brows. A scratch ran diagonally down his cheek, a small trail of red dribbling down from it. Ashes blemished both his coat and portions of his face, so it’s not like she could tell if there were any other injuries beneath it all. Other than that, he at least looked relatively okay. 

Then again, he has a track record of walking off injuries that would leave anyone else wincing.

Seeing him so distraught was strange though. Foreign. He has never been the type to let anything outwardly bother him. The most he usually managed was a deep frown or the distinct pinching of his brow when he was worried. She’d seen that face plenty of times before, especially while on the Luofu. Whatever her condition was this time must’ve been enough to actually unsettle him. 

Everything sucked, but she was fine. Definitely fine.

Stelle attempted to shoot him a grin. The blood trickling down onto her teeth probably made it seem more menacing than reassuring. There’s nothing she could really do about that. Dan Heng definitely wasn’t impressed if the sudden pressure on her abdomen was anything to go by. If anything, his face only garnered further loss and uncertainty than she was accustomed to seeing on him. 

Aww, Dan Heng! That face doesn’t suit you at all!

It’s what she wants to say.

It’s what she tries to say.

She opens her mouth to fire her quip, but her thoughts die before they have a chance to be spoken. Thousands of pinpricks travel from her lungs to her trachea in an instant. All Stelle could manage was a miserable wheeze that broke off into a miserable wet cough. There was half a doubt whatever she tried was even audible over the roar of the sparks and flames around her. 

It takes her a moment to catch her breath again. Her breath rattles in her chest as if her blood had turned into phlegm.

That… probably isn’t good.

Dan Heng lurches forward immediately.

“Hey! Don't speak! It’s okay. You’re alive, and that’s all that matters,” his pupils almost seemed to wobble as if he was trying to convince himself more than her. “save your strength.” 

But I want to! She internally whines childishly. Injuries be damned, she wanted to do something to get that harrowed look off his blemished face. 

So she does the most mature thing manageable and sticks her tongue out at him. Unfortunately, the only reward for her behavior is the immediate overwhelming taste of iron and ash. It takes everything to not cough or even gag over the sensation. It’s not much, but Dan Heng at least shakes his head at her. His eyes don’t do so much as budge from where they’re locked onto her abdomen.

She’s not sure she wants to know how bad her condition really is if he’s barely budged the whole time.

Dan Heng makes a noise akin to a frustrated growl. Stelle knows it’s probably not aimed at her, but it catches her attention nonetheless. 

“Sorry,” the pressure on her abdomen disappears. “Hold on, Stelle. I need to grab… something.”

He leaves her side just like that. Craning her neck isn’t something in her realm of possibilities, so she doesn’t bother tracking him. It’s not like he went far anyway if the nearby sound of rummaging is clue enough.

Instead, she allows her sight to wander.

That was her first mistake.

It drifts down. Down to where Dan Heng had his attention focused. Down to an area that felt both hot and cold coiled into one. Down to what’s probably the main source of everything she’s feeling right now.

Red, red, and more red. Countless shades mixed into a daunting ocean of red on her stomach. She couldn’t tell if it was one large wound or a compilation of many attributing to the blood now pooling beneath her. It’d be harder to point out an inch of her skin not already marred by deep scrapes, angry red burns, or blood both fresh and drying alike.

It’s like a large, sharp object impaled straight through her. Maybe it’s better if she doesn’t know if it actually did. Whatever object had done the deed was long gone by now.

That looks like it should really fucking hurt. All things considered, she’s more surprised that the pain isn’t completely debilitating. Like the kind of agony that leaves someone screaming until they black out. Shock must be one hell of a thing if she underestimated how bad that wound was for this long. 

She’s thankful for now, but it’s far from a good thing if she can’t feel it like she should.

The whiteness of her shirt may as well be entirely gone. There’s a distinct frayed hole with the edges encrusted in blood and sticking to her skin. Her skirt and jacket are both mostly intact, save for the ashes and bloodstains already soaking into the fabric. In short, she was a complete mess.

No wonder Dan Heng looked at her that way. Hell, she didn’t know how she’d react if she saw one of her companions injured like this.

Her second mistake? She laughed about it .

It wasn’t one of her usual cocky or mischievous laughs. Not even a light snort that she’d give from a stray remark from Dan Heng or a joke from March. There wasn’t even anything remotely funny about it. No, it was merely a chuckle in place of saying what the fuck aloud.

Aeons, it hurts so bad to laugh even a little . One chuckle was enough to send a wave of spasms through her system, leaving her hissing through her teeth.

Cocolia’s lance had turned Belobog into a fleeting memory seconds after it went through her. However, the stellaron had already taken care of it by the time she had awoken again. The agony was nothing more than a few seconds left buried in the back of her mind.

This time was different.

This time was wrong.

Why hasn’t the stellaron fixed her already?

Iron bathed her tongue as the leftover noise faded into yet another fit of warbling coughs. 

Why isn’t it doing anything this time?

Steady hands rush to grab and unceremoniously drag Stelle away from the warmth of her own blood. At least the stabbing pain from being moved is grounding enough for her to regain her bearings. Enough to not let her spiral more than she already has. She’s no longer staring at the destroyed ceiling, instead, the world has tilted on its axis to allow her to face the gaping hole in the wall of the car.

…Then she glanced slightly to the left only to realize, oh, nevermind. She’s just slightly sitting up now. Not enough to fiercely agitate her worst wound, but enough to let her breathe a little easier.

Dan Heng hovers over her again, this time even closer than before. It takes Stelle a moment to realize the harder yet warm surface near the left side of her head is his chest, which would explain a lot. In his hands are a couple of partially soot-stained white towels he presumably grabbed out from their supplies. His expression is grave, but the resolution in his eyes is unmatched. 

The scratchiness in her throat refuses to subside. Another cough bubbles out of her mouth, but it only irritates her throat further. The wetness in her throat definitely isn’t any kind of water either. 

He wipes his thumb just below Stelle’s bottom lip only for it to come back stained in scarlet. If it disturbs Dan Heng any further, he doesn't show it.

Gross. Well, okay, that tracks.

His mouth is moving, but she can’t hear anything over the overwhelming buzzing of the stellaron filling her ears. His gaze keeps darting to the glowing flames flickering around them.

One of the towels is draped across her stomach. A stone settles in her gut as she just watches the color of the towel change before her eyes. Dan Heng lightly presses down on it, and Stelle has to fight the urge to squirm. She bites the inside of her cheek to suppress the low whine clawing its way to the surface.

Aeons, Stelle. Get a grip. 

Stelle can’t help Dan Heng, let alone herself, if she doesn’t pull it together soon.

Dan Heng glances from the wreckage to her, then back to the wreckage again. He tries to speak again but this time all she catches are distant mumbles. There was some sense of urgency, but not enough for her to understand. 

It’s not enough.

Stelle shuts her eye if only for a moment, a ragged breath drawing in and out.

Apparently Dan Heng is yet again not a fan of her actions. Fear had claimed a corner in his gaze as she opened her eye again, but it disappeared as quickly as she had noticed it.

Had he been afraid she was going to nod off again?

Still, breathing felt a bit less bubbly. The air still stung her chest, but that was most likely due to the smoke. 

“Dan…Heng,” Stelle tries slowly, the words both feeling and sounding like sandpaper grating across her tongue. Even saying his name drained a noticeable amount of energy. He better not try to scold her this time though. She didn’t even cough.

His mouth moves in a way that suspiciously looks and probably sounds like her name, but it’s like he’s speaking underwater. She strains to listen as the sounds of the stellaron are forced into the back of her mind. It grows quieter and quieter until she’s finally able to single out Dan Heng’s voice amidst it all.

“—car is unstable. We need to get out of here,” He paused, the sudden hesitance on his face as clear as day. “I’m sorry, but I need to pick you up. Is that okay?”

As much as Stelle wants to argue, she keeps her mouth shut. It’s not going to feel good in the slightest, but what other choice was there? If she wasn’t even in the condition to fire a snarky retort, then how would she get up and walk out herself? Any independence she had was taken away the moment she laid eyes on the gaping wound nestled in her abdomen. 

So Stelle conveys her consent with the smallest nod of her head.

“Alright,” Dan Heng says warily, “I’ll… I’ll try to be as careful as I can.” The hand on her shoulders slips to her back. His other hand abandons the towel in favor of snaking just behind her knees. 

Stelle tries her damnedest to loop one arm behind his neck. It’s a weak hold from her end, but it’s at least a little support. The other arm dangles uselessly at her side. Her eye instinctively squeezes shut, her body tensing for the unintentional harm she knows is coming.

Dan Heng stands slowly, so deliberately careful, yet it all falls into place like clockwork.

A bolt of lightning sears through her chest and travels into her stomach the instant Dan Heng lifted her up off the ground. She bit her tongue hard enough to leave a freshly renewed taste of copper in her mouth. A forcibly muted shriek slipped through the cracks.

Above all else, at least she was pretty sure something in her chest was broken now.

Stelle barely recognizes the scenery changing from the destroyed car to a more open area. The only difference letting her recognize it at all is the sudden rush of clean air entering her lungs. She hacks and coughs again, both corners of her mouth now wet. 

A string of rushed apologies fly from Dan Heng. 

He shouldn’t be apologizing. It’s not his fault. 

She’d never blame him for any of this.

“We’re outside now. Don’t close your eyes again. It’ll be okay.” Dan Heng doesn’t try to mask the desperation in his voice as the ringing in her ears threatens to drown him out altogether.

Funny that he mentioned closing her eyes. She hadn’t realized she was trying to close them again. A nice nap could probably do wonders, but Dan Heng wouldn’t be too happy about that. Then again, she’s not sure if she could do anything that wouldn’t upset him further right now.

Her eyelids grow heavier as a soft laugh echoes in her ears.

“Just worry about yourself for once, dummy.”

A mixture of shame and regret swam in her gut.

Not much she can say about that now. 

Stelle found herself mentally cursing out whatever illness kept March unable to do so much as leave her own room. It was just ironic that she couldn’t last a single day off the train without landing in a predicament like this. How was she supposed to guess that one expedition without March was going to lead to her bleeding out on Dan Heng? 

Sure, other situations had happened on other planets when it was just the trio together, but nothing ever this dire. 

Maybe if March had been well enough to come along, things would have been different. 

Maybe everything would still be okay.

… Right?

It’s only then that Stelle’s thoughts take a turn for the worse. 

She can only imagine seeing March right alongside her and Dan Heng among the wreckage. All she can think of is pink hair caked in drying splashes of scarlet. Her usually flawless skin marred with gashes and burns much like her own as far as the eye could see. Empty pink and blue eyes boring holes into everything yet seeing nothing at all. A whisper of a breath reminding her that the next one may be her last.

The realization dawned upon her that this train car could have become March 7th’s grave as well.

She should be glad March didn't come with them.

“Stelle? Hey, stay awake!”

Dan Heng’s voice cuts through her stupor like a knife. 

Just how long had she let her thoughts wander? 

Darkness floods the corner of her sight as the hand firmly nestled under her back pulls her impossibly closer. Dan Heng’s warm yet trembling body served as an anchor to reality. Her head lolled to the side, resting directly onto his chest. He was still alive. Breathing. Afraid. She could see his other hand still pressed firmly against the wound on her abdomen. The cloth itself was stained more of a deep, dark red rather than the pristine white it had been earlier.

One glance to her right would have told her that this wasn’t the first towel she had bled through and ruined either.

It was like Dan Heng’s efforts to keep her alive didn’t matter.

This isn’t like when Cocolia’s lance pierced through her chest at all. Unlike before, her stellaron was doing nothing to heal the heavily bleeding gashes and scratches littering her form. 

Maybe it was just a delayed reaction. Her skin would just stitch itself back together as soon as she faded into unconsciousness. 

…but what Aeon is going to guide you back to life in an uncharted land like this?

Morbid as it was, her thoughts were entirely right. Both the thoughts about March and concerns with her own demise. By putting the two topics together, it brings her right back to the conversation she had with March before they left. All she can think of is the promise with March that Stelle just can’t keep.

But that wasn’t the only promise, was it?

Oh. 

Oh no.

How could she have almost forgotten what March originally asked in the first place?

There was something she had to do.

Stelle reached into her pocket, the motion deliberately slow and trembling. March’s camera, a brilliant shade of blue against the ashy wreckage around them, was carefully grasped in her fingers. The lenses didn’t look outwardly damaged even if the camera itself was a little dirty. Talons of exhaustion gripped at her with every move, but she fought against it anyway. 

She gently tapped Dan Heng’s chest with the camera once. Twice. Three times.

He ignored her.

Stelle attempts to muster up enough strength to slam it into his chest, but all it did was hit him only a smidgen harder than she had before.

It caught his attention nonetheless.

Dan Heng’s gaze travels from her to the camera and then back to her again. Realization dawns on him as seen by the subtle narrowing of his pupils and hitch in his breath. He shook his head and somehow managed to grasp her a little tighter as if she was going to drift away.

“No,” he whispered, “no, Stelle.” He lets go of the cloth to carefully grab her hand and guide it back down. “March gave that to you. You’ll be fine. You don’t need to give it to me.”

A weak huff of frustration escaped through gritted teeth. Any fight she had left just drained away. 

He doesn’t get it. There’s no telling how much time she had left. She doesn’t want him to literally have to pry it out of her cold, dead hands.

Dan Heng doesn’t take it. He refuses to. He doesn’t even acknowledge it anymore. The camera sits beside her like a mocking reminder of a promise she won’t be able to keep.

Sorry, March.

A wet streak cascades down Stelle’s cheek. She couldn’t tell if it was a tear or her own blood anymore.

She doesn’t want to die here.

Speaking hurts, moving hurts, hell, even breathing brings more pain than relief. The cold she had barely felt earlier had slowly settled into her bones, leaving her shivering. 

She doesn’t know what else she can do. The stellaron is still there, still active, still humming, but a voice in the back of her mind kept telling her that it was dying with her.

Why is an all-powerful seed of destruction suddenly useless?

The towel is left abandoned altogether in favor of Dan Heng just holding Stelle in an embrace. His chin buries right into the crook of her neck. It’s tight enough to where she can feel every inch of him tremble. He must've noticed the sudden nosedive in her condition too. His breathing had also grown more rapid, more uncertain. 

It’s like he was running out of strength to fight right along with her.

It’s okay though. This is enough. She appreciates the warmth.

“We still have to make it back home. They’re waiting for us. Please.” Dan Heng pleads, something she’s never heard him do before.

Her current state is nothing more than pathetic and she knows it.

Stelle wants to grin at him and tell him she’ll be okay. She wants to tease him for working up such a fuss over her. She wants to at least comfort him and thank him for trying so hard to save her. She wants to do literally anything but just blankly stare at him without an ounce of energy left in her body. 

Despite her wants and efforts, all she can do is focus on one word he had said.

Home.

Stelle wants to go home.

Himeko and Mr. Yang. Always the ones to make the big decisions. Always the ones to be there for her and the rest of her trio when they needed them. They were older, more experienced, always ready to lend a helping hand to the rest of the Nameless and anyone else they met. 

Sunday, who had only just started to break free of his self-imposed shackles after joining the Astral Express. There’s only so much a caged bird can see through the bars. He still has a long way to go before he reaches the end of his journey. She wanted to be there to see it.

Dan Heng… one of her closest, inseparable companions that serves an unbreakable beacon of stability. Now he was reduced to a teary-eyed and vulnerable mess at her side. He didn’t deserve to have anymore suffering inflicted onto him in this life, yet here she was uselessly adding to the ever growing pile.

March… oh, March. How she wished this was just another time on any other planet. Maybe then it would’ve been just another instance where she’d fall into March’s outstretched arms before any cruel fate could reach her. Instead, here she was dying an immeasurable distance away from her. Away from home. 

Away from everything and everyone she’d grown to love.

…You’re never going to see any of them again.

A storm of regrets downpours over Stelle’s mind. She doesn’t have the energy to apologize to Dan Heng for bleeding out in his arms. 

He’s going to have to deal with all of Amphoreus alone. He’s going to have to return to the express without her by his side. He’ll have to explain to March that Stelle wasn’t even strong enough to survive this without her. He’ll have to live with the guilt that he couldn’t do enough to bring her home.

The pulsating within her chest dulled to nothing more than a hum. It hurt more to breathe than it did moments before. No matter how many breaths she tried to take, all that came out was a low rattle.  

“Please, just hang on,” Dan Heng’s broken pleas are barely audible anymore. 

It doesn’t make them hurt any less.

“I tried to save you. I couldn’t protect you. I’m so sorry,” His bravado falls alongside a tear that splashes right onto her face. “Please… don’t go.” 

You tried. She wants to tell him. You did everything you could.

He shouldn’t blame himself for this. It’s not his fault, but Stelle knows that’s exactly how his mind works.

If anything, she was sorry for not being strong enough to bounce back. 

Even as her vision threatens to fade, she fights to not let her eye fall permanently shut. Each slow blink becomes harder and harder to recover from. It’s not until far later that she finds out that she did indeed at least partially win her last fight against death. Her one golden eye had remained open and unblinking even after she exhaled her final breath in Dan Heng’s arms. 

A gentle hand cups her cheek. Fingertips that may as well have been chilled to the touch brush just below her closed eye. It’s enough to lead her to stir with a soft groan.

What..?

Confusion swarms her once again as she wakes up for the second time. It really shouldn’t become a pattern, but now there was even more of a reason to feel lost. The aches of her injuries were still there, just… distant. Detached. It was like she was feeling someone else’s injuries rather than her own.

Shouldn’t she be… dead?

That’s right. Last she recalled, she felt her own stellaron fading inside her chest as Dan Heng clutched her in his arms. Maybe her stellaron really had flared back to life and fixed her after all. Dan Heng would be able to explain it to her if that was the case.

Wait… Dan Heng?

A touch of panic made her heart skip a beat. The realization set in that warmth and sturdiness of Dan Heng was gone. So was the smell of ashes of smoke. The only thing that remained was the cold touch of the phantom holding her close. 

Something… someone had their hands on her, and it wasn’t her companion. It wasn’t Dan Heng.

She wrenched her eye– no, both eyes open with a surprising lack of difficulty. The sudden invasion of harsh, bright light makes her squint. Stelle attempted to twist away from their grip, but her energy was still gone. 

They had to let go of her. She had to find Dan Heng.

He had to know she was okay.

Stelle’s bat sloppily materialized in her hands. It nearly fell out of her fingers before she even had the chance to grab it. Just as she tried to fling her arm into a desperate swing, one hand left her face and grabbed hold of her wrist before the bat had a chance to meet its mark.

“Ack– Stelle, stop it!”

Stelle froze, her bat slipping from her fingers and clattering to the ground behind her. She lets it phase back out with a sparkle, unable to keep it summoned much longer anyway. Her wrist is released instantly.

The annoyed tone. The higher-pitched voice. 

She’d recognize it anywhere.

Dual-tone dark pink and sky-blue eyes met fading gold.

Why her?  

March’s forlorn expression mirrored her own. 

Why now?

Whether it was Stelle’s own imagination or not, it was a cruel joke for March to be the last person she sees as she loses an uphill battle with death. No matter how badly she wanted to thread her fingers through her pink locks. No matter how much she yearned to do so much as hold her hand. She wanted to do something. Anything.

Yet all she could do was stare.

March– no, not March offered a sad smile down at her anyway. Despite everything, her presence was warm,  comforting, welcoming. It wasn’t March. It couldn’t be March. She knew this, yet here she was, clinging to the ghostly apparition like a beacon in the dark. A lifeline. A guiding light leading her back home.

“Cutting it close again, huh,” a breathy laugh, “just take it easy for now, Stelle, will you?”

The statement made her heart ache. 

I can’t. Dan Heng needs me. You need me. 

She wanted to say. Tried to say. Just like before, her voice refused to respond to her will.

Not March shook her head as if she had read Stelle’s thoughts anyway. “It’s okay,” she reassured, her voice choked yet somehow still overwhelmingly familiar and soft. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise. Do you trust me?”

Of course I do. Always. Stelle blinks back tears as March’s thumb caresses below her eye, wiping them away. 

“Hey now, no more tears!” March? Not March? She doesn’t know anymore, scolds her. 

But… why are you here? 

She looks pensive for a moment, her nose scrunching in uncertainty. “I… don’t really know either, but did you really think I’d let you two go down there alone?”

Guess not. You’re too stubborn for that. You always find a way.

“Pot calling kettle!” March huffs, eyes rolling fondly.

The way she engages right back puts a small smile on her face. They haven’t even been gone from the Astral Express all that long, but the recent experience just entering the planet was enough to make her homesick. It's strange, but something in the back of her mind was put at ease just seeing her there. Apparition or not, March's presence was overwhelmingly comforting.

…Assuming she’s still alive at all and that this isn’t her last thought conjuring up figments of her imagination after her brush with death. 

I miss you already. I’m sure Dan Heng does too. He’s okay too though, right?

March lets out a breathy laugh again, this time it’s far more mournful than before. “I miss you both too. He’s fine though, better off than you anyway if you're trying to make it into a competition,” She interrupts with a sigh. “I would like for you to tell Dan Heng I said hi, but it’s probably better if you don’t remember this. Well, any of this.”

Stelle’s heart may as well have shattered into a million pieces. One one hand, March confirmed that Dan Heng was still alive. On the other, none of this mattered because March didn’t want her to remember it.

It doesn’t make any sense.

Why not? What if I want to remember seeing you?

“There’s a time and place for everything. Even memories, silly. You have way more important things to–“ March tenses, her pupils shrinking. Her gaze darts around like a frightened rabbit. It’s almost as if something had spooked her, but what? She frantically shakes her head, refocusing back on Stelle. “You need to leave. I kept you here long enough. If you want to go back, you need to go now.” 

… I don’t understand.

Her pink companion avoids locking eyes, but her tone carries traces of panic within it. “There’s just not enough time to explain! You have to go. I can only do so much from here.”

What is it, March? What’s wrong? Stelle reaches out to touch March’s cheek with a gloved hand. She inwardly flinches as old wounds and smears of dried blood blink in and out of existence across her flesh. Even the pain was starting to creep back into her body right alongside it.

It was like an invisible timer was trying its best to tug her away.

“You’ll find out soon enough. Just remember that you’re a fighter, okay? If anyone can get through this, it’ll be you. You've done it once already, so what's one more time?”

Wait! What do you—

March presses her forehead against Stelle’s without letting her finish. The area around phases out in an instant. Her hands fall slack at her sides once more. Her friend utters an inaudible apology and farewell wrapped into one before her presence dissipates alongside everything else.

Even when she wakes up on her own in the ruins of Amphoreus later, nothing but the phantom whispers of her own lost memories of her death and encounter with March remain as if they had never existed at all.

“Your soul is still perfectly whole, as if some kind of force is trying its best to keep it together.”