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Walker and Bob stood at the foot of the bed. One bed.
“Shit.” Walker exclaimed.
The pair stood in front of the bed for a few moments. Walker put his hands on his hips and dropped his head.
“I’ll take the floor,” Bob started.
Walker sighed. “As much as I would like you to, I’ll be the bigger man here,” he said. “You take the bed tonight.”
Bob picked at his fingers, dropping his head. “No, really, it’s no big deal.”
Walker shook his head. “You’re taking the bed, Bobby.”
“Are you sure?” Bob replied.
Again, Walker sighed, deeper this time. “Yes,” he said. “Ask again and I’ll change my mind.”
Bob nodded, remaining silent. He placed his bag onto the floor beside the bed, then pulled out a change of clothes. Walker did the same on the other side of the room. “If you want to use the bathroom,” Bob said, pointing to the door they came in, “I’ll change in here.”
Walker nodded. He exited the small room into the slightly bigger stairway, which held the only bathroom in the building. He knocked on the door. Nothing. He tried the doorknob, but it didn’t budge. “Great,” he said under his breath.
He sighed, then walked back into the bedroom to find Bob changing his shirt, facing away from him. Walker stared for a moment, then cleared his throat. Bob jumped and spun around, his shirt dropping over his exposed chest. “Shit, sorry.” Bob exclaimed.
For a moment, Walker said nothing. “Bathroom was taken,” he finally got out.
“Ah,” Bob said, looking past him to the door. “I’ll wait outside if you want to change in here.”
Walker sighed, then turned to the door, then back to Bob. “Just turn around.”
And so he did. Walker did the same, then began to change his clothes in the room with Bob. For a moment, he swore he could feel his eyes on him. He turned back around to find Bob facing away from him, towards the window. “You can turn around now,” Walker said.
Bob turned to meet Walker, his hand covering a yawning mouth. Then, he stretched with his other arm, slightly revealing his stomach. Walker kept his eyes glued on Bob’s face, resisting temptation. A beat of awkward silence as Bob looked at the bed, then to John.
“Are you sure you’re fine with the floor?” Bob asked.
Walker clenched his jaw. “Ask one more time, Bobby,” he said. Bob shrugged. “It’s fine.” Walker said again.
Bob nodded, then leaned over the bed and picked up the pillow. “You can have this,” Bob said, tossing Walker the pillow. Walker caught it with one hand.
“Thanks,” Walker said. He began to tap the pillow mindlessly.
A beat.
“Better get to bed,” Bob started. “Will you get the light?”
Walker nodded, not saying anything. He walked over to the light switch and flipped it, engulfing them in darkness.
Another moment of awkward silence.
“Goodnight,” Bob said, climbing into the bed.
“Night, Bobby.” Walker replied as he lied down on the hard ground.
For a while, Walker slept, dreamless. Then, a few hours later, he woke to the sounds of groaning, which quickly grew into whimpering and then sobbing.
He lifted his head from the pillow and peeked over the foot of the bed to find Bob shifting restlessly. Walker stood to his feet and made his way to the side of the bed. “Bob,” Walker said softly. Nothing. He repeated himself, “Bobby.”
Still nothing. He grabbed onto his shoulder, shaking him softly.
After a moment, Bob woke, his face wet with tears.
“Hey,” Walker said. “I think you were having a bad dream.”
Bob sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Yeah,” he started. “Sorry.”
Walker shook his head, standing beside the bed. “Nothing to be sorry for.” A beat. He hesitated, then sat down on the edge of the bed. “I have them too, you know.” He shifted uncomfortably, then said, “You want to talk about it?”
Bob shrugged sadly, “Not really.” A beat. “It’s stupid.”
“I doubt it’s stupid,” Walker said.
Bob doesn’t reply for a moment, causing the two to fall into silence. After a moment, Walker said, “I still have dreams about Lemar sometimes.”
Bob furrowed his brows, looking over to him.. “You do?”
Walker nodded dropping his head. “Yeah. And what happened after.”
Bob bit the inside of his cheek, then sat up next to Walker. “I get why you did it.” A beat. “It’s not right, but I get it. I’ve been angry and made mistakes too. I think we all have.”
Walker sat in his sadness, then looked over to Bob. “Doesn’t mean I deserve forgiveness, though.”
“Forgiveness or not,” Bob said. “It shouldn’t be able to stick with us forever. People are complex, you know?”
“Yeah,” Walker said. He shook his head, dropping it again. “I don’t know.”
A beat. “At least you didn’t put an entire city into endless, inescapable shame rooms.” Bob said quietly. “Pretty unforgivable if you ask me.”
Walker turned to him. “That’s on Valentina, not you.”
Bob shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it would’ve happened eventually,” he said. “I think she just— I don’t know— fast tracked it.”
“Maybe,” Walker said. He nudged Bob softly with his elbow. “At least we were around, right?”
Bob laughed through his nose. “Yeah. I’m glad you were there.” Walker raised his eyebrows. Bob blushed. “You as in a collective of people. All of you.”
Walker laughed. “Right, Bob.”
“I am glad that you beat the shit out of my dad, though,” Bob said.
“Yeah, he seemed like as asshole. I could tell he deserved it.” Walker replied. Bob nodded. For a moment, the two sat in silence, just barely touching at the shoulders. “You feeling better?” Walker asked.
Bob shrugged. “A little.” A beat. “I just feel so alone sometimes, you know?”
Walker reached out and put a hand on Bob’s leg. “Well, I’m here.”
“Yeah, I know,’ Bob said with a smile. “Thanks.”
“Yeah,” Walker said. “We should probably get to bed, though. Long day ahead of us tomorrow.” Walker stood from the bed as Bob reached out and grabbed the hand that had been rested on his leg. Walker turned to face him. Immediately, Bob dropped the hand, then his head out of embarrassment.
“Sorry,” Bob said. “I just—” he trailed off.
Walker furrowed his brows in confusion. “What is it, Bobby?” For an unexplainable reason, he felt as his heart start to beat faster.
“Could you…” Bob started. He rubbed his flushed face. “Could you stay in the bed with me? It’s hard sleeping alone.”
Walker bit the inside of his cheek. He thought about it for a moment, then sat back down on the edge of the bed. “Scoot,” he said.
Bob hesitated, then scooched over to the other side of the bed. “It’s fine if you don’t want to, really.”
Walker was already lying down in the small bed beside Bob, their hips touching. “It’s okay, Bob, I don’t mind.” He shifts. “Plus, it’s better than the floor.”
Bob looked over to Walker. “Was it that bad?’ he asked.
Walker watched as Bob turned onto his side, away from him. “My neck was killing me,”
“Sorry for making you go through that,” Bob said.
Walker reached out and draped his arm over Bob’s waist. “It’s alright. It’s better now,” he said.