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It was the twenty-first of November when Saitama came across the most difficult, frustrating monster he'd seen in his career.
"Hey, buzz off, bee, you're not getting any of my sweet potato," Saitama said, swishing his hand around, "Aren't you stupid bugs supposed to be dead now?"
[You'd like that, wouldn't you?] A high voice rang out.
"Eh? Did that come from my head?" Saitama asked, poking a finger in his ear. It reminded him of the time he was on that Boros guy's ship.
[This is reminding you of the time you were on that Boros guy's ship, isn't it?]
"GAH!" Saitama turned around violently, scaring off a few pedestrians. "Who??"
[The bee.] Said bee flew in front of Saitama's face and hovered to make eye contact. Saitama couldn't help the chill that ran down his spine. Bugs were super annoying and gross. Bugs that had sentience and could read minds? Eesh..
[I've been following you.]
A sentient, mind-reading bug that was also a stalker? Okay, this bee was already on his shit-list. Saitama wasn't even going to let this twerp get halfway into his villain speech.
But as Saitama clapped his hands around the bee, he watched it phase through his fingers. Like a ghost.
[No, not a ghost, Saitama,] The bee buzzed, [I am Teleki-bee-sis. And I am a figment of imagination.]
"Bullshit, I'm not very creative." Saitama muttered quietly.
[Not your imagination, necessarily. It was a group effort to make me. Four years ago, a group of girls in high school were all pining after the same boy.]
Saitama tried swatting the bee only to phase through him again. Apparently, he'd have to listen to this after school special of an origin story.
[They all went through hoops for this boy, and argued over who he really wanted. They were so unhealthily obsessed with the thought, I was eventually born to show them the answer. But unfortunately for them, the boy of their interest was not into women. And found the group quite annoying. They backed off quite quickly. Now, I spend my days looking for more foolishly hopeful individuals see things as the way they are.]
"Huh..." Saitama hummed, "So... How long have you been following me?"
[Ever since I saw you shopping in the men's section of the retail shop. You seemed to think you'd look good in Hawaiian print shirts. But I heard the minds of the other shoppers in the building. They all thought the shirt looked quite ugly.]
Saitama clapped his hands around the bee with deafening force. Unfortunately, it phased through his grip again.
[You may be in denial, but I am not of the physical realm. Your fighting tactics have no affect on me.]
"Yeah, well how do you know I'm gonna believe everything you say?" Saitama asked.
[You won't have to. Because you'll be sharing my power.]
And with that, the bee phased into Saitama's head and resided somewhere deep within his brain. In an instant, his mind was bombarded by the thoughts of the people on the street.
[Is that weird man talking to himself?]
[That baldy's creepy!]
[Bald guy in a cape talking to himself... Better steer clear.]
[Talking? To himself?]
[What a stupid costume...]
[Asshole.]
[Is that Caped Baldy? Is he plotting something?]
[Weirdo...]
[Heyyy, pink handcuffs are half-off toda- Woah, that bald otaku looks nervous about something.]
'Ahhh, this is too much! I can't even understand most of what they're saying!!!' Saitama thought. With so many people around, it was like they were all shouting hate in unison!
[If you focus on one person's thoughts, the others will fade away to background noise.] The bee buzzed.
Saitama focused on a young woman with twirly pigtails far away from him.
[I'm socially anxious... But I'd like a friend. Anyone who notices me would be fine.]
Oh.. Saitama could relate to that. He'd been meaning to go out and make more friends recently. And maybe this would help this girl's social anxiety. He walked up to her.
"Hi, uh. Your pigtails look nice. Did you style them yourself?" He greeted.
[ANYONE WHO ISN'T A BALD OTAKU FREAK!!] Her mind screamed.
"Ehhh, I have to... Go.." She said, quickly turning around and walking the other direction.
[GROSS!!! OLD BALD MEN IN OMURICE-COLORED SUPERHERO OUTFITS ARE GROSS!!!]
The bee giggled in his mind with glee.
'Okay... I already knew the public hated me.. Any chance you're going to get bored of this soon? I'm already seeing what I know, so what's the point?' Saitama thought.
[Until you completely lose hope in humanity's decency. You might pretend like you don't care about what people think, but deep down, you want at least some recognition, Saitama.]
'It's not too much to ask. Just one fan..' Saitama thought.
[For you? It most certainly is.] The bee countered.
Saitama's patrol went on horrendously. Everyone passing by would think about how bald and lame Saitama was, and it took everything in him to keep it to himself. It was like when he'd punched the meteor and everyone rallied against him. Except it wasn't mob mentality, it was all genuine, singular mentality, and Saitama couldn't stand up for himself in this situation.
It was torture.
At some point, a tiger-level threat monster came slithering through city S and Saitama took it out in one punch, scales falling across the mostly deserted road. Around him, the minds of witnesses were one collective,
[WOAH, SO COOL!!]
And after ten seconds, when they realized who he was, the thoughts quickly turned into,
[Caped Baldy? He couldn't have been totally responsible for this??]
[He's stealing credit! He must be!]
[No one could take a monster out like that with just one punch!]
[Where's Sweet Mask? Or King? Or Tornado of Terror? They're the real heroes!]
[Get that weak, bald shit outta here!]
Dejected, Saitama walked sadly away from the scene. He could have dealt with the usual hate before, but now it was too real and in his face. He'd always hoped his hate-mail was a result of people being too bored to care about what they were doing, but it seemed they really hated him.
Things only got worse when he ran into Sonic.
[I'LL SERIOUSLY KILL YOU THIS TIME, SAITAMA. YOU WERE NO LONGER PLAGUE THE BACK OF MY MIND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I'M GOING TO SLAUGHTER YOU!!!]
He may have used a little more force than necessary when he knocked Sonic out. He'd always thought the guy was just trash-talking him to get him to put up his dukes. Oh well.. At least this meant Sonic was truly determined to get strong enough to kill Saitama one day. That was a fight to look forward to..
When he finally arrived home, he kicked off his hero suit, too unmotivated to wash it off. Instead, he pulled the clothes out from his shopping bag and threw them on. He looked into the bathroom mirror.
'I don't care what anyone thinks, I look good in Hawaiian print shirts.' Saitama thought to himself, turning himself around to admire the angles of the shirt on him. If there was one thing he was proud of in his life, it was that his body looked better than his goal he had before he started training.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Saitama froze in panic.
Genos was here!
He contemplated punching a hole through the bathroom door and running as far from his apartment as possible. Genos had been his respectable disciple for months now. But did he want to know what Genos really thought of him? He was so rude to everyone else but him. Did Genos really respect him? Or did he fear him because of his strength? Did he pity his loneliness? Did the respect go as far as his strength was, and hate the rest of Saitama? He was reeling his fist back and aimed towards the tub when he heard,
"Sensei, I'm home!" [Sensei is in the bathroom. The door is open, he must be trying on the new clothes he talked about buying today.]
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
"Oh, uh. Welcome home, Genos." Saitama said, waiving as the other man walked to the bathroom doorway, "What do you think of my new shirt?"
He asked as not to raise suspicion. And it wasn't like he wouldn't find out either way.
"It looks good on you, Sensei." [In my honest opinion, that is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, but somehow you can pull it off and look handsome. ] Genos said/thought.
That was... Actually flattering. Especially coming from the Demon Prince himself. In it's own, weird Genos-way.
"Think so?" Saitama added.
"Absolutely." [Sensei seems to be self-conscious. I'd better not tell him other people would think he looked completely tacky. And I'm not lying, am I? Sensei looks good in the shirt, and he asked my opinion.]
Saitama could have pestered him and asked what other people would think, but decided against it. He didn't want to watch Genos to squirm, and it woud be a pretty suspicious thing to follow through with questions related to what Genos was thinking at that moment.
"Oh. Thank you, Genos." Saitama nodded.
"You're welcome, Sensei." [I hope Sensei can keep feeling good about his appearance. He patrolled alone today, meaning he must have dealt with pedestrains slandering his name without me around to scare them off. I hope no one bothered him about his-]
"Hey, are you staring at my bald head?" Saitama asked, annoyed. He was happy that Genos cared about his feelings like that, but it didn't seem like it if he was staring at the thing he was most sensitive about.
"Never, Sensei." [He can't know I stare at his head for hours while he reads manga sometimes.]
OH, WELL THAT'S JUST-
[It's so perfectly shaped and defines his handsome features. Even without hair, Saitama-Sensei remains impossibly sexy.]
Woah. Did Genos... Have a crush on him? He wasn't expecting that. But maybe he should have, to an extent. Or maybe Genos wasn't scared of admitting to himself that other men could look attractive.. Saitama never considered himself attractive. His body, maybe, but as a whole? He was a 4/10 at most. But... He was a little interested in Genos' level of attraction to him.
So he unbuttoned his shirt and removed it before shucking off his pants.
"S-Sensei?" [OUT OF MY LEAGUE, OUT OF MY LEEEEAAAAAGUE!!!] Genos looked up and down at Saitama.
Oh. Young adults were great.
"Eh, Genos. Could you get out of the way? I wanted to try on the rest of my clothes." Saitama said nonchalantly.
"Ah-. Yes, of course...!" [I live with the most handsome, admirable man in the world who parades around naked occasionally... Why did the lord make him straight.]
Genos was into him! Saitama tried to not seem too excited about it.
[He only likes you for your body, you know. Doesn't that bother you, or creep you out? Having an intense gay guy in your house lusting over you? Let's get out of here, let's go on a walk!] The bee buzzed.
'Nahhh. I just told him I'd try on more clothes. It'd be suspicious if I just left,' Saitama thought, 'Besides, I said I wasn't gonna trust what you said. I'd rather find out by myself.'
After trying on the three outfits he'd bought to the commentary of Genos' inner monologue, Saitama pulled out the futon as Genos placed himself at the table with a notebook. Saitama listened to Genos' train of thought as he wrote.
[Log Date, Nov. 21st. Saitama-Sensei bought a bag of very ugly clothes from the retail store. However, it was not a waste of money, since Saitama looks good in everything.. Hmm.. Was that irrelevant? No. Making shitty Hawaiian print shirts look moderately attractive is some sort of feat!! Anyway, where was I... Hm. Oh. Sensei seemed self-conscious and unmotivated today. He forgot to clean his uniform when he walked in, and seemed very interested in my opinion of how he looked. This seems like the start of a low fluctuation in the chart I've created studying Saitama-Sensei's pattern of depression. I will be sure to be there for him. Sensei deserves to be happy and feel like he's loved. Even if it's a platonic love. I'm very happy to be friends with him-.. Hmm.. That's definitely irrelevant. My personal feelings for him don't matter in this study.. Scratch that out...]
As Genos wrote on, Saitama noticed how foreign-sounding Genos' thoughts sounded. Although Saitama could read Genos' mind in words he could understand, the actual phonetics of the sound he heard in his head were not primarily Japanese. On top of that, Genos' inner voice sounded much softer than the voice he used. Maybe Genos forgot what he sounded like? The thought was a little depressing.
[Sensei looks depressed. I wonder what he's thinking.. It's better if he has his space right now.] Genos thought.
"Hey. Genos." Saitama heard himself say outloud.
"Yes, Sensei?" [Was I wrong? Is he reaching out for company? Tell me what's wrong, Sensei, I'll help however I can.]
"I'm really glad you're here. I've been having a lot less bad days ever since you moved in." Saitama said. It was true, and Genos really needed to hear it. He deserved some positive feedback, every now and then.
"Oh." [SENSEI SENSEI SENSEI SENSEI SENSEI SENSEI SENSEI SENSEI!!!!] "I'm glad to be here, Sensei." [That's an understatement. I love you so much, Sensei!! I love seeing and making you happy!! I hope these feelings of mine can one day reach you!!]
Saitama could not wipe the smile off his face if he tried. Genos had always seemed so protective and loyal to him, but knowing the blonde enjoyed his presence, enjoyed making him happy, even loved him-
[He only thinks he loves you, you know.] Teleki-bee-sis buzzed, [He puts you on a pedestal for your strength, and your strength alone. His attraction and opinion of you is completely biased. This isn't love. This is hero worship.]
'Shut up!' Saitama thought, 'What's with your flip-flopping here anyway? First Genos is exclusively lusting over me, now you're saying he cares, but he doesn't mean it? What does it matter? Why is it so important I can't have someone who loves me?'
[Because he doesn't!]
Saitama mentally called bullshit. Love was painted all over Genos' face, and showed itself in it's actions. Genos loved Saitama, plain and simple. And the fact that the usually rude, bratty, angry, disagreeable Genos loved him and only him made Saitama consider giving this one guy a chance.
[Don't!] Teleki-bee-sis buzzed frantically.
And at that moment, Saitama realized something. Teleki-bee-sis could read his mind. He was sharing his power, as the bee was trapped in the inner sanctum of his mind until his goal, which was Saitama giving up in his hopes for any form of love toward him. Meaning this was a two-way street. Saitama could read Teleki-bee-sis's mind!
Saitama focused for a minute before he could picture the bee in his mind, and used his new power;
[[ HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! I SAW THAT CYBORG RIP HIM APART! I THOUGHT I WAS FREE!!-Wh- HOW ARE YOU READING MY TRUE THOUGHTS! YOU JUST LEARNED THIS POWER HOURS AGO!!! ]]
'You should have studied me a little longer, bee-guy. I'm a hero for fun who's become too strong. And I never lose.' Saitama thought.
"Sensei, are you okay? You've been staring into space for sometime now.." Genos said, now sitting next to him. [Sensei has been a little distracted lately...]
"Eh?" Saitama looked up and took in the room around him. In a second he was back in reality.
"I'm fine, Genos. Uh, hey, I always had a question."
"Yes, Sensei?" [Ask away. I love teaching you new things. I feel like a good student, when I can teach my teacher something.]
"It didn't take very long for you to get a league of fan girls. I just wanna know, how popular were you in school?" Saitama asked.
[My... Popularity in school? I wonder if Sensei was popular as well.] "About the same as I am in the Hero Association," Genos answered, "My peers and upperclassmen found me rude and annoying, but girls who didn't know much about me followed me around. There was one group of girls who were.... Eh..." [I'd rather not let Sensei know about that time those girls "accidentally" spilled milk on my pants and tried to wipe it off with their handkerchiefs!!!]
Yikes!!
"Pretty bad fanclub, eh?" Saitama asked, "Did you have to report them?"
"I had, several times. It took a few months before they finally stopped. It's like one day they suddenly woke up with zero interest in me." [Probably the rumor going around that I was gay. How did they know??]
"Huh," Saitama said, holding up a manga to pretend he wasn't focusing back to the bee.
'So, why are you so scared of Genos?' Saitama asked.
[Like I'd tell you.] Teleki-bee-sis said, trying to control his thoughts. Unfortunately, Saitama's pure talent prevented him from hiding anything.
[[ I WAS BORN OUT OF THE GIRL'S UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH GENOS, BUT THEIR ULTIMATE GOAL WAS TO HAVE HIM CHOOSE ONE OF THEM!! SINCE I'VE MADE YOU MY VICTIM, YOU'RE TECHNICALLY PART OF THEIR GROUP! IF HE CHOOSES YOU, IF HE GETS A HAPPY ENDING WITH ONE OF THE GROUP, I'LL BE REBORN AS A STUPID, MINDLESS BEE AGAIN!! ]]
'So let me get this straight.... I'm technically part of a girl clique in high school...' Saitama thought.
[[ NO HARD FEELINGS FOR EARLIER TODAY, RIGHT? HEY... YOU MOSTLY LIKE WOMEN... WHY DATE A MAN, A CONCEPT YOU HAVE NO EXPERIENCE IN, SOMETHING YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH, WHEN YOU COULD HAVE ANY WOMAN IN THE WORLD WITH THIS POWER? I COULD HELP YOU. I COULD GIVE YOU TIPS. YOU'D BE A FUCKING HAREM PROTAGONIST!! I MEAN, YOU'RE AVERAGE ENOUGH TO BE ONE- ]]
"Hey, Genos." Saitama said, focusing back to reality.
"Yes, Sensei?" [Sensei's been paying lots of attention to me. He must be really lonely.] Genos scooted closer to Saitama and turned to give him his full attention.
"We're friends, right?" Saitama asked.
"I'd be honored to call you my friend, Saitama-Sensei." Genos nodded. [I'd be honored to call you my friend, Saitama-Sensei.]
"Oh? Even though 'friends' is such a casual, improper relationship between a student and a teacher?"
Genos' face went blank. [WAS THIS A TRAP? SENSEI?? ARE YOU KICKING ME OUT? HAVE I BEEN TOO MUCH??]
"Genos, don't freak out!" Saitama worried, "I meant that.. We're already not that proper of a teacher-student relationship. We're kinda. Closer than that, right?"
"I.. Yes, I suppose so." Genos said. [RELIEF.]
"I just wanna say I value our friendship," Saitama said, ignoring the mental rejoicing on Genos' end, "I don't care how unprofessional it is, as long as I'm close to you.
"I'm... I'm glad I can be considered close to you..." [I want to be as close as possible to Saitama-Sensei!]
"Would you like to be closer?" Saitama asked slowly and carefully.
"How do you mean... Sensei?" Genos asked, just as carefully. [Is Saitama-Sensei... Is he-?.. No, I shouldn't get my hopes up.. It seems too good to be true.]
"Genos." Saitama said, reaching a hand to cradle Genos' face. He played with his earring stud with his thumb, "Would you like to go out with me?"
"Sensei, I thought you weren't into men?" [This can't be real???]
"Still true. I'm just into one." Saitama said, patting himself on the back for being smooth for over five seconds in his life. Or at least, smooth in Genos' eyes, if his mental swooning was anything to go by.
Genos gave one of his smiles, one of his small, creepy smiles where his eyes went dim, his brows furrowed, and his mouth became a tiny, upside down triangle. It was a smile that belonged on a ghost rather than a nineteen-year old man, but the blonde somehow made it look cute. Especially because Saitama knew that smile meant that Genos was ecstatic.
[SENSEI WANTS TO BE CLOSE TO ME!!! SENSEI WANTS TO DATE ME!!!! SENSEI'S GAY FOR ME AND ONLY ME!!! YES!! FUUUUUCCK YESSSSSSS!!!!]
"Sensei?"
"Yes, Genos?" Saitama asked.
"May I kiss you right now?" [I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU SUCH A WET SMOOCH.]
"Heh, sure." Saitama said. How gross could a wet smooch from a cyborg be?
Very gross, apparently. Genos had never kissed anyone before and his inexperience showed. But as sloppy as it was, it was full of love and exuberance. And Saitama wouldn't have it any other way.
When Genos finally pulled away panting with a string of artificial and organic lube connected between them (EW!!!), Saitama was surprised he wasn't hearing any feedback from Genos. Had he burnt him out emotionally for the hour?
Bzzzzzzzzzz
"Hey, Genos, is that you?" Saitama asked.
"Ah, no, Sensei," Genos gasped, breaking the wet string between them, "There's a bee behind you."
Saitama turned around to see said bee blindly buzzing behind him. Oh, that's right. Teleki-bee-sis said he'd be reborn as a normal bee if Genos picked him and got a happy ending. Huh... He raised a finger and gave the bee a gentle poke, marveling at the fact it was physical now. That meant Genos and him got a happy ending, right? He watched the bee fly around a little while longer, before-
FWOOOMM!!!!!
"Genos!" Saitama berated, watching ashes of the bee remains fall from Genos' red-hot palm.
"I apologize for the impulsive act, Sensei," Genos said, "You really hate bugs.
Saitama smiled. It was like this guy could read his mind sometimes.