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The doctor slammed her fist into the controls of the TARDIS, trying to get the ship to listen to her. Blood ran down her other arm despite the fact that she was trying very hard not to make a mess of the place. But the pooling from the cuts was spilling over.
“Stop pitching a fit. I’m fine,” she argued with her ship.
The TARDIS made a sound that resembled disagreement. It vwooped again, having set path for somewhere. She turned the screen, unsurprised to find the ship had locked onto Sheffield.
“Let the fam enjoy their time on Earth. I’m fine. We don’t need to bother them.”
The doctor pulled the emergency break but the TARDIS fought through it, screeching loudly as it found a home on the side of a street.
The doctor pulled her sonic out her pocket and locked the TARDIS door, only to hear it immediately unlock itself. “My god, you’re stubborn. How many times do I have to tell you I’m fine?” She walked over, deadbolting the door. “I will scavenge you for parts.” She grabbed a towel that was hanging over the railing. She wasn’t sure what was on it or what it had been used for but she truthfully didn’t care. It burned but it did the job. She tossed it to the floor to clean up the blood that had spilled before picking up the blood-soaked towel.
“See, I’ll toss this in the laundry, grab some bandages from the med bay, and then it’s like nothing happened. I’m fine.”
There was a tug on the door and her hearts skipped a beat. She barely had time to shove the towel into a random compartment at the center of the TARDIS before the ship unlocked the door again. She yanked down her jacket sleeve.
“You alright, doc? That sounded like a bit of a rough trip in,” Graham asked, stepping in.
“Fine. Just a little domestic with the ship. You know how she can be,” she said in a tone a bit too forcibly light.
“Well Ryan’s supposed to be meeting with his dad for lunch and Yaz said she’d be off with her sister for a bit so why don’t you come in for a cuppa?”
“Maybe next time, Graham. I need to work on the TARDIS. She hasn’t been listening too well recently.”
“Maybe I could help. I might not know anything about spaceships but I’m quick. Once fixed my bus all by myself, well maybe I had a bit of help from a mechanic but trust you me I did all the heavy lifting there.”
“No, it's easier if I do it myself.”
Graham deflated. “Right. Well I could at least keep you some company while you work.”
“No. I just-“ she sighed. “We’ll be back at it tomorrow. Just rest up, take a breather.”
He came up to her at the center console. “Is everything okay, doc?” He knew it wasn’t, something was wrong.
She nodded. “I’m fine, Graham. Just need some time to myself.”
He hummed, not convinced, but wanting to give her some space. He’d ask the others if they’d noticed any weird behavior, or at least weirder than normal, but as he went to leave, the lock on the door clicked.
The doctor delivered a swift kick of her boot to the console. “You are being insufferable!”
“What’s going on here?”
“Like I said, just a bit of a domestic. I’ll get it all sorted and we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled trips in no time- well I suppose they’re very rarely regularly scheduled, but more so wherever the universe needs us. But we’ll be back to something fun tomorrow. Or at least something that’ll get our hearts pumping.” She unlocked the door and began guiding Graham out the door.
“Doc, your arm.”
The doctor looked to her arm that was holding open the TARDIS door, blood soaking through the sleeve of her light colored jacket.
“Just a small scuff that I need to tend to. I’ll get to it as soon as you pop out.”
But he didn’t leave and the TARDIS vwooped. “Doc, why don’t I help get you situated?”
“I’m fine, Graham. The two of you need to just let me handle myself!” The doctor raised her voice.
He sighed. “You can be mad at me after you aren’t bleeding,” he said, gently turning her by the shoulders towards the direction of the med bay. “C’mon. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of doodads and robo-nurses. I don’t need to help but I will at least make sure you’re taken care of.”
The doctor’s shoulders sagged, she was tired and didn’t have the energy for this fight.
He led her to the med bay and had her take a seat on the edge of the bed. “Alright, doc. You’re alright. Just um tell me what you need.”
She sighed. “You can bring me that blue and purple box.”
He followed her point to a blue box with purple lights fluttering around it, grabbing it, surprised by the small box’s hefty weight. He placed it on the rolling tray table beside the exam bed.
“Thank you, Graham. I’ve got it from here.”
“You know you can talk to me - to all of us. We’re your fam.”
“I talk to you plenty. I never shut up. Surely you must have noticed that by now.”
Graham sighed. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
The doctor fidgeted with the small box, not yet opening the autobot but just giving her hand something to play with. And despite the growing spots of blood, she didn’t make any move to address the injuries.
He let this go on for a minute before sighing and gently taking the box from her hand. “C’mon doc. Let’s get you sorted out. This button?” He asked as he set it back on the rolling tray. He pressed it without waiting for a yes, assuming she would have protested if it would blow up or something. The small box unfolded itself into a long rectangle and the top flapped open.
“Would you mind…?”
Graham turned around and was relieved as he heard the doctor begin to shuffle off her coat, a small gasp of pain as the fabric ran over her arm. He heard as the box closed around her arm and heard a soft buzzing between the doctor’s quick breaths. There was a beep and the box reconfigured itself back to its smaller self.
“Alrighty Graham,” she said, clapping her hands together. “Well, I’m all set now so thank you. Good as new. Perfecto.”
“Doc,” he said, turning back around. She had already pulled the bloodied sleeve back over her arm. “How can I help?”
“Help with what? I’m fine Graham. All fixed up.”
“How’s your head?”
“My head? Listen, time lord biology is similar enough to humans for you to know it was my arm that was hurt,” she laughed, trying desperately to nudge the conversation.
But she'd known what he meant by it and he knew that. “Why don’t you go change and then we can talk?”
She didn’t say anything but slipped off to her room. She tried to avoid the mirror but her eyes still caught her reflection. All the scars littering her arms didn’t bother her nearly as much as the ones missing, the ones fixed today, the ones from her other bodies. She hated them but they made things feel more real. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been lost in the mirror but there was a knock at the door. She quickly pulled a jumper on. “Come in,” she called.
Graham opened the door, quickly presenting a cup of tea. “Made you a cuppa.”
She managed a small smile, taking the mug. “Thanks, Graham.”
He lingered in the door frame, unsure if he should come in and try to talk with her. The doctor could see his internal debate.
“You lot are always fussing,” she said, taking a seat on her rarely used bed.
“Only because we care,” he said, finally having the confidence to come in and sit beside her. “Doc, whatever is eating you up, you don’t have to face it alone. Let us help.”
She sighed, setting the mug on a nearby nightstand. “I’m supposed to be the one who fixes things. I want to take all this bad and turn it to good.”
“There’s only so much bad you can take in. But sometimes when we talk about the bad, scary things, we can let some of it go, instead of keeping it weighing on our hearts.”
There was a long silence before her voice came out less confident than he had ever heard her. “I’m tired, Graham,” she admitted quietly. “I’m so tired but I’m afraid that if I stop, everything will fall apart.”
He wasn’t sure what would happen if the doctor stopped saving the world. He’d seen her do it countless times, always someone somewhere in desperate need of The Doctor whether they knew it or not. “Then we’ll keep going, all of us. You have a fam for a reason, let us help you.”
She nodded slowly, a bit of relief flooding her face.
“We’ll take it one day at a time, but for now, tonight, you’ll come and eat a proper meal at my place and get some real sleep because I think you downplay the amount of sleep timelords actually need. Deal?”
She smiled and nodded. “Deal.”
He stood up and offered her a hand which she took. “And doc…” he waited for her to look at him. “You can always talk to me about anything.”
They walked to Graham’s place in companionable silence and the doctor felt relieved that she wasn’t alone, at least for now she had her fam.