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The sudden, metallic crash of the door slamming into the wall has Hyuna jerking awake, nearly falling off the couch. She shoots upwards, her hair a bird's nest, just in time to see Isaac stumbling in.
"Hyuna," he gasps, and she's never heard him sound so distressed since—
"Who died?" she asks dryly, but she still reaches for her prosthetic and gets ready to stand up, an offer for a drink on the tip of her tongue. Isaac casts her a dirty look.
"No one. But we found someone while on the way back, and I think you'll want to see this."
She glances at the clock. It's extremely late, way past the time that's safe for them to travel around freely, but Isaac and some other members of the group were out on a supply run, and those always need to occur at night so it's easier for them to steal food and resources. She fell asleep while waiting for them.
"Sure, bring them in." Even with their dwindling supplies, she'll never turn away a rescue. Other humans are all they have.
Isaac nods, stepping aside. A new figure walks into the room, with golden hair and something like alien gunk on his fingers, and when they make eye contact, Hyuna's entire heart stops.
"Hyuna," Luka whispers, the syllables tumbling from his tongue like a sweet melody. "Hi."
And then he promptly collapses.
It's a chaotic mess to finally get Luka settled in. There's no time to ask questions, not when Luka is in the state he's in. Some of the guys brought Luka to go get cleaned up, and now he's sitting on the couch, wrapped up in an old blanket and snoring softly. He's alive, at least, that they can be certain.
Hyuna sighs as she heads into the drawing room, where their group plans all of their missions and resource rations and whatever else. There's a large map pinned to the drawing board of places they've been to and areas that are deemed safe or not. In the centre is a large, round table, where Dewey and Isaac are currently sitting around. Isaac has his arms crossed and is leaning against the wall while Dewey is resting his elbows on the table.
"Hey," Dewey calls, lifting a hand up for a lazy wave. "How is he?"
"Breathing," Hyuna answers, joining them and taking a seat. Isaac reaches under the table to procure a bottle of beer, offering it over. She reaches for it and takes a massive swig with no hesitation.
"He's one of the segyein's most precious, isn't he? He's the past winner," Isaac says. He jerks his chin towards one of the drawing boards, where a magazine clipping of Luka from his first win is stapled onto the corner. He's smiling serenely, hair a luscious shade of gold, and sparkles all around the frame.
"Yeah," Hyuna replies, resting her chin on her hand. "I don't know why he's here. How did you find him?"
"He was just on the streets when we drove past. One of our other members didn't recognise him and picked him up, and he said he was looking for you, so we brought him back." Isaac shakes his head. "I wasn't completely sure it was him because of how much gunk he was covered in. You'd think such a perfect prince like him would shrivel up and die at the idea of his clothes getting dirty."
This is so confusing. Hyuna takes another swig of alcohol to keep the headache at bay.
"In any case," she says once she slams the bottle back down, "we'll have to wait for him to wake up before we can figure out why or how he escaped. The segyein would definitely be looking for him. It's not safe for us to keep such a famous person with us."
"You'd turn him away?" Dewey asks, surprise coating his features. "That's unlike you, Hyuna. Why?"
Hyuna bites her tongue fiercely.
It's not that she doesn't want to save a fellow human. Of course she does—saving people is what the rebellion does. They live with a leave no man behind motto.
But with Luka, he isn't just human. He's a hundred other words and phrases: The winner of Alien Stage, the segyein's most precious, Hyunwoo's murderer,
Hyuna's first love
.
Hyuna won't be able to treat Luka like any of the other resistance group members. This odd mixture of fury and love and resentment and regret, it all gathers up in her chest to create a persistent ache. She's afraid that letting Luka in would be baring her soul for attack, that she'd be opening up her ribcage and letting Luka dig his hands inside, reaching for her heart to squeeze it dry.
She's afraid to be weak, and Luka has always been able to tug weakness out of her like she's a mere puppet on string.
"He's dangerous," is what she settles on saying. "Just… Just let me watch over him for a bit. I'll decide whether it's safe for us to let him remain."
"...Alright," Dewey agrees, his voice a bare whisper. "You're the leader."
Hyuna nods tersely. She stands up, leaving the room with the intention to see if Luka is awake, but is stunned to find that there's no one on the couch. The blanket is left there, folded neatly, and Hyuna sighs to herself as she sets on a journey to find where the hell Luka went.
She finds him sitting alone on the rooftop of their base, his back pressed against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest. His eyes aren't on the sky, like most people do when they come up here to stargaze or simply admire the open air.
Luka's eyes are focused on his fingers, the ones he folds open and close over and over, and the saying old habits die hard come to the forefront of Hyuna's mind.
As if they were guided by the spirits, Hyuna takes a step forward at the exact same time Luka looks up and spots her. He breaks into a smile, waving, but his knees remain tucked upwards. He looks…
Familiar.
Like an old wound reopened.
Despite herself, Hyuna approaches him. She sits down next to him, bumping their shoulders, and looks up at the sky. She wonders if Luka can feel the difference—the difference between being caged and being free. She knows she can.
Hyuna won't ever forget the first night after she left Anakt. The pain was unbearable and her body was the weakest it ever was, but for some reason, the simple act of breathing felt less suffocating. The feeling of real grass beneath her foot and the tingle of cold air against her skin, as compared to the soft, manufactured grounds she grew up on, it was all so much better.
Luka shifts beside her, catching her attention again. It's been so long since they've met, and yet, Luka still slouches like a little kid when he's not performing. He's always made himself smaller than he seems, almost invisible-like, so when he goes on stage to showcase his true presence, it's an overwhelming defeat.
"Your fingers," she points out, raising an eyebrow. "They're, well…"
"Purple," he finishes for her. "Right?"
"Right…" She frowns. She's seen it before, the barest tips of Luka's fingers turning slightly purple, just about a year before she escaped. It was never obvious enough for her to be concerned, but now that she knows more, it's odd. It's not a regular sickness, she's pretty sure. They have a few medics on the team, and she's learned about most illnesses that humans can go through. Hell, she's had a fever once. "What's wrong with them?"
She doesn't mean to come off so abrasive, but Luka doesn't seem to mind. Instead, he holds his hand out, letting her take it and feel the flesh under her skin. He's freezing cold to the touch.
"It's because my body's not strong enough," he explains, like that answers any questions. "It's not like your body, Hyuna. Yours is perfect."
Her voice gets stuck in her throat. She glances down at herself, at the sporadic scars decorating her skin and the cool metal at the end of her limb. It's far from her body's original condition. She's been irreversibly changed.
"What do you mean?" she dares to ask. She still hasn't let go.
Luka shrugs with one shoulder. "They need to connect me to some tubes every time I wake up and go to sleep. If not, I'll die."
Horror seeps into her veins. "Huh?"
"I'll die," he repeats. He says it like he's pointing out the colour of the sky. Just a pure, objective truth.
A million thoughts rush through her head at once. Luka says her body is perfect despite all the ways it's been altered. He's sick in a way Hyuna has never seen or heard of before. His fingertips are purple like permanent bruises, blending in with his pallor skin, and if he doesn't have access to these 'tubes' he speaks of, then he dies.
He dies?
"But you're here," she realises, finally dropping his hand. "You're here and not at Anakt."
He blinks. "Yes."
"If you're not at Anakt, you can't get those tubes that the segyein give you. It's probably medicine or something to keep your sickness at bay." Her voice is starting to come out breathless and she struggles to slow her words. "Luka, you need those. How long has it been? How long can you live on without them?"
"Three days," he replies, holding three purple fingers up. Hyuna stares at him in horror. She doesn’t know when he escaped, but it has to have been at least a night already.
"Then stop wasting time! You have to—"
Go back.
…Go back?
Hyuna's stomach churns at the thought of even suggesting such an idea. She would rather fight a hundred segyein alone than to ride her way back to Anakt. Go back is the antithesis of the rebellion's purpose—to be free. How could she ever say such a thing?
"You have to get your medicine," she amends. "What do the tubes look like? Maybe we can find them out here! I know lots of people. I'm sure someone has heard of it before."
Luka shakes his head, smiling softly. "It's okay. They were designed specifically for me, so they don't exist anywhere else."
"Huh? But— but then that means you'll die." Her chest is beginning to heave. "Luka, you can't die just like that. You need to live. You need to—"
"Hyuna," he interjects. "I'll be okay. I'll come back."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I'll come back," he repeats simply. "I'm sure."
Luka is making no sense. Hyuna is starting to believe he's getting delirious because his sickness is taking him under. Should she be concerned? Maybe she should get him some water and sleeping pills. "How can you be so sure? Humans don't just come back after they die. When you're dead, you're gone forever."
She doesn't bring up the fact that she's seen it firsthand countless of times, both on the stage and in the privacy of her home. She doesn't say how she's seen death grasp someone by their throat and take them away, while she stands helpless and unable to watch. The very same thing could happen to Luka. She could watch another life be taken in front of her eyes, and…
"Not me," Luka insists. "I've killed myself hundreds of times and came back again. They have lots of my bodies stored. So you don't have to worry. When I die, I'll come back, and then escape again to come find you once more. I promise."
Hyuna doesn't realise she's frozen still until Luka reaches for her, cupping her cheek gently. He presses his thumb into her jaw until it unclenches, and then he tilts his head, smiling endearingly. It's horrific.
"Hyuna," Luka murmurs, his fingers trailing down to her collarbone, just above where her name is branded into her skin. His eyes flicker to the metallic words and Hyuna flinches away from his loving gaze.
Can she really live like this? If she lets Luka stay, she'll watch him die. But if she sends him back, she'll betray herself.
Her hands come up to press against his chest in an attempt to push him away. He's freezing cold to the touch, even through the thin fabrics of his clothes. She can barely feel the steady thump of his heart.
There's no winning either way. Luka's body has already been destroyed beyond repair, and Hyuna doesn't know much about the segyein's technology, but she can't imagine that reviving Luka's spirit over and over into a new body is good for him, if his purple fingers and weak heartbeat are anything to go by.
Selfishly, Hyuna thinks that she'd rather Luka never show up again, so that she'd never have to deal with watching him die in her arms, only to be reborn back in the hands of his abusers.
"Luka," she says firmly. His eyes jump up to hers. "Don't come back."
She grips his wrists, holding his fingers away from her. Hyuna places a distance like a chasm between them and hopes it makes her words hurt less. "I will not send you back. I'll let you stay with us until your three days are up, and we'll… we'll bury your current body. But when you are revived, do not come back. Do not escape again."
Luka's lips part in surprise. "...Why?"
"There is no why," she hisses, refusing to elaborate. She can't put it into words how much she cannot bear the thought of seeing Luka again, not after she's going to watch him die. "If I see you anywhere outside of Anakt, I won't hesitate to kill you. I'm serious. Do not come back."
There's silence for a few seconds. And then Luka pulls himself away from her grasp, a gentle understanding in his eyes, and it makes Hyuna feel sick to look at.
"I will gladly die by your hand, Hyuna," he says. He says it with childlike wonder in his eyes, like it would be a dream for Hyuna to shoot a bullet through his chest. There is no regard for his safety because it means nothing to the man whose life is manufactured from beginning to end.
There is only concern for Hyuna, with all the ways Hyuna can reach for his heart and take it.
In a way, she and Luka are the same—their ribcages are bared open for the other to break, and that is what makes staying together so dangerous.
"Promise me, Luka," she begs. She can't let him think that the rebellion is the ideal solution. She wishes it could be, but the segyein still have their hands wrapped around Luka's neck. Until he fails, he won't be allowed to leave. And Luka will never fail.
His eyebrows knit together. Hyuna wishes she could close the distance between them and kiss the wrinkle away.
"Okay," he agrees, though he sounds terribly confused. "When I die here, will you hold me?"
What a ridiculous question. Hyuna will never let anyone die alone.
"Of course," she promises back, swallowing the lump in her throat. It feels like sandpaper. "Let's go back inside. It's cold out here."
He hums in agreement, standing up, and together, they return back to base. Hyuna pretends her heart isn't so heavy it's physically dragging her down, and she avoids looking at Luka for the rest of the night.
(The next night, Luka's time runs out. It's a gruesome death that no one expects—he throws up blood, his body convulses like he's being electrocuted, and he can't get a word out. It's like his body is falling apart, and the quiet groan of pain Luka lets out towards the end will haunt Hyuna's ears for the rest of eternity.
Still, she holds him as promised. She holds him until he stops shaking, and then she buries her tears into the back of his neck and prays that she'll never see his face again.)