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Elmira Hembree heard the periodic “ouch” from the lifts, and it only got louder as she turned down the hall towards the Werewolf Capture Unit. Lucinda Rosier was trying to hex a poster off the bulletin board beside the Werewolf Registration Office, jerking her hand back with an “ouch” with every failed spell. How many would she try before she gave up?
Elmira counted eight by the time she reached the end of the hallway. Rosier made two more attempts while she stood there and watched. “If you want a copy of that, all you have to do is send an owl to the Werewolf Advocacy Group. They’re giving them away for free.”
“Of course I don’t want a copy of this thing,” Rosier snapped. “Look how much space they’ve taken up with it.”
The poster featured a photograph of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley trying to look heroic, although Weasley was fidgeting and Granger was obviously whispering directions to him out of the corner of her mouth. “Without A Wand…” was printed at the top, continuing below the photo with “We couldn’t have defeated You-Know-Who. Encourage your county mayor to vote ‘no’ on the Werewolf Control Act.”
“It’s a public bulletin board,” Elmira said. “W.A.G. can put whatever they like on it as long as it’s not illegal or vulgar.”
“As long as it fits. Look, they enlarged the board for it!”
“Does it encroach on any officially used space?”
“It encroaches on my sunny disposition.”
That was gone long before the poster went up, Elmira thought. “Given that you haven’t been able to get it down, you should consider that it was probably put up by Professor Granger. And she is the reason Mr. Peasegood with the Obliviators still sometimes sneezes bat guano.”
Rosier stopped casting. “Really?”
“Best Bat Bogey Hex I’ve ever seen,” Elmira said, nodding.
Rosier let out a breath with a huff. “Well, I suppose it’s allowed if it’s not illegal or vulgar, even if I don’t like it.” She turned on her heel and stalked into the Werewolf Support Services Office.
Elmira continued into the Werewolf Capture Unit. A few Hunters at their desks looked up and stood, so she announced, “All right, gather up, everyone.”
“What did the union rep say?” Jasper Marolt asked. “Can we do it?”
“No, you cannot. You are all specialized Werewolf Hunters, which means your only qualification is as Ministry officials. Which means if you make a public statement against this proposed bill as a Werewolf Hunter, you will be making an unauthorized official statement and be subject to disciplinary action up to and including termination.”
“We don’t we all just go?” Joshua Perkins asked. “Together. They can’t really fire all of us, right?”
“They can’t really take wands away from every werewolf in the country, either, but that’s what they’re trying with this bill,” Elmira said. “I don’t think reality has much to do with it.”
“Look, if they pass this thing, I’m handing in my resignation,” Marolt said. A rumble of agreement passed through the assembled Hunters. “So what does it matter?”
“It matters because if they don’t pass it, I’ll have to train a whole new set of Werewolf Hunters.”
“So what, we just sit around with our wands up our bums?” Perkins asked
“I’m pretty sure you would have to violate the uniform policy for that,” Elmira said. Marolt snorted despite himself as she stood. “I need you all to keep doing your jobs as normal until this vote is held. In the meantime, I’ll handle it.”
“How?”
“Don’t worry about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking the afternoon off to run a personal errand.”
“Directions to W.A.G. headquarters: Take the Floo network to the Fox and Deer Pub. On leaving their door, turn right and follow the street until you see a Muggle pet shop and a stationery shop.”
Elmira followed the directions and found the pet shop and stationery shop, but no headquarters. She looked at the Werewolf Advocacy Group’s flyer in her hand and saw she’d missed the instruction to “blink three times”. On doing so, a building grew between the two shops, easing them aside as it nestled in between them.
Inside, several round tables had been pushed against the wall to make room for a photography backdrop and a camera on a tripod in the far corner and a rectangular sign-up table in the middle of the room. Seph Blaine stood on the opposite side of the table, saying to the black gentleman in front of him, “Lee, we talked about this. I know the Weird Sisters started it, but we really don’t want the Without A Wand posters to become advertisements.”
“No, I get that,” Lee Jordan said. “That’s why I’m back. It doesn’t have to be ‘I couldn’t run your favorite talk wireless show’.”
“OK, what would you want us to put on the poster if we make one?”
“I couldn’t have run the Potterwatch underground wireless during the war.”
“Are you sure you want to out yourself?” Seph asked. “Not every Death Eater went to Azkaban.”
“If they haven’t worked it out by now, they’re too stupid to do anything to me anyway,” Lee said. “Seriously, Remus Lupin is a good friend of mine, so I want to do this.”
“Well, that’ll definitely look good.” Seph filled out a form, handed it to Lee, and pointed to the backdrop. “Owen’ll be back in five minutes with more film, so just hang tight.”
As Lee moved aside, the mousy woman in front of Elmira stepped to the table, fidgeting with the clasp of her purse. “Um, I’m not sure you’ll want me,” she blurted out. “I didn’t do anything cool or important like Mr. Jordan. I’m just a housewitch. But I saw your posters on Diagon, and it got me thinking about how hard it would be to take care of my family if I didn’t have a wand. It doesn’t seem fair to take it away from people just because they’re sick, and it’s not like they can use a wand when they’re a wolf. So I thought maybe having a normal person on a poster would help, too?”
“That is a wonderful idea! We’d love to have you,” Seph said. The mousy woman giggled nervously as Seph filled in a form. “OK, so the caption’ll be ‘Without a wand, I couldn’t take care of my family’. Name?”
“Beverly Adkins.”
“And occupation: housewitch. Brilliant. If you’ll just wait beside Mr. Jordan, we’ll take your picture as soon as Owen gets back.”
She nodded excitedly and went to join Jordan, who gave her a high five, to her delight. Elmira stepped up.
“Hi,” Seph said. “What are you thinking for a poster, ma’am?”
“Without a wand, I wouldn’t hold the world record for exterminating Dementors.”
Beverly gasped, and Lee’s eyes popped.
“I’ll have to see some documentation on that one,” Seph said.
“I thought you might, Mr. Blaine.” Elmira handed him a parchment from the manilla folder she’d brought.
Meanwhile, Beverly dug a book out of her purse and frantically flipped to the back of it. “Merlin’s Beard, are you Elmira Selwyn?”
“That was my maiden name. It’s Hembree now.”
“Wait, Hembree?” Seph asked, looking up from the parchment.
Elmira raised an eyebrow. “Did you seriously not recognize me? We worked together for nearly two years, Mr. Blaine.”
He gaped like a fish in a boat, then gestured to her jeans and Tebo-leather jacket. “You look very different out of uniform, Hunter Hembree.”
“I suppose that’s true. I don’t usually wear make-up on duty.”
“Oh Merlin, my book club just finished reading The Great Nundu Hunt,” Beverly said, holding up her book.
Elmira cringed. “In my defense, I was 21 years old, with the lack of common sense you would expect at that age. My mentor probably should not have taken me along.”
“No no, you were our favorite character!” She blushed and giggled, her hands fluttering like moths. “I suppose it’s not called a character if it’s nonfiction, but still, this is so cool! Can I have your autograph?”
“I have literally never been asked that before in my life, but I don’t see why not. My husband will be tickled when I tell him this.”
Beverly opened the book to Elmira’s portion of the afterward for her to sign, then wrinkled her forehead. “Wait, it says here that you work for the Werewolf Capture Unit now. I thought the WCU was pushing the Werewolf Control Act.”
“No, it’s being raised over our objections.”
“Why would they do that if the Werewolf Hunters don’t want it?”
“Well, I have my suspicions,” Elmira said, “but it’s not my place to say.”
“It’s because Auror-In-Training Darcy is extremely good at her job, and someone with money is worried about that,” Seph said.
Elmira pointed at him to indicate he was right. “I have my suspicions, but it’s not my place to say.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Beverly said. “Why haven’t you said anything to the Daily Prophet or anything?”
“As Ministry Werewolf Hunters, we’re not allowed to. However, my union rep has assured me that, as an independently certified Dark Creature Hunter, I can do whatever I want off the clock as long as there’s a disclaimer that I’m acting as a private individual.”
“We can definitely include that,” Seph said.
A mischievous grin grew on Lee’s face. “You know, Nundu hunts and Dementor-killing Dark Creature Hunters would make a great episode on my wireless show. Would you be interested in being a guest, Mrs. Hembree?”
“I need to make sure my union is all right with it,” Elmira said, “but if so, I would love to.”
“Hembree! Get out here right now!”
Elmira cast a Muffling Charm on her office door and continued working. A few minutes later, motion in the door’s window caught her eye, and she looked over to see Marolt waving to get her attention. She opened the door with a flick of her wand. “What is it, Marolt?”
“Mr. Cunningham is out in the hall, and he is absolutely losing his gobstones.”
“Is the union rep out there?”
“Not yet, but that yelling ought to get him down here.”
“Then I will be out there in 10 minutes when he is. Tell Cunningham I’m in the middle of an interrogation.”
“Ma’am?” Marolt asked with a gesture to her desk.
“I am interrogating these budget requests.” She gathered the stack and rapped the edge sharply on the desk.
“All right. It’s your head.”
He closed the door, and she cast the Muffling Charm again, then lowered the shade over the window. A few minutes later, the odd squeak of someone trying to grab a muffled doorknob and failing sounded. Elmira noted the time and restarted her 10 minute count. When it finally expired, she walked out of the Werewolf Capture Unit and into the Beasts Division hallway. Several Werewolf Hunters not-so-subtly rose from their desks and followed.
The head of the Beasts Division, Mr. Cunningham, stood by the bulletin board outside the Werewolf Registration office, his arms crossed, his face red with rage, and his foot tapping out a staccato. Marolt and Mr. Hardie, the union rep, stood beside him.
“What is this, Hembree?” Cunningham asked, pointing to the Without A Wand poster. It now showed Hembree with her salt-and-pepper hair in a loose braid instead of her usual severe bun, dressed in the jeans, Tebo-leather jacket, and silver choker she preferred when hunting things faster and nastier than werewolves. She’d worn a pair of anti-enthrallment glasses for the photo, and Seph had decided Beverly’s The Great Nundu Hunt would make a good prop, so she held that in her free hand while using her wand to create misty images of Dementors and then pop them out of existence. The caption beside her said, “I wouldn’t hold the world record for exterminating Dementors. Elmira Hembree. Independently Certified Dark Creature Hunter.*”
“That’s a bulletin board, sir,” Elmira said.
Cunningham’s face turned an even redder shade of red. “What is on the bulletin board, Hembree?”
“I believe that’s a poster, sir.”
“I have to say, Hunter Hembree,” Perkins called from the safety of the Werewolf Capture Unit office, “it doesn’t look a thing like you.”
“Really? I thought it was a good likeness. My husband actually requested a copy from W.A.G. He’s threatening to frame it.”
“I thought I made it very clear there were to be no statements issued without my approval,” Cunningham said.
Hardie opened his mouth to counter, but before he could, Elmira said, “Marolt, I left my reading glasses in my office. What does the note attached to that asterisk say?”
“‘*Elmira Hembree is currently employed as the head of the Ministry of Magic’s Werewolf Capture Unit,’” Marolt read. “‘Opinions stated are her own as a private individual and do not reflect an official stance of the Ministry of Magic. Which is the entire problem.’ And then the usual ‘encourage your county mayor to vote “no” on the Werewolf Control Act.’”
“Is there a problem, Mr. Cunningham?” Elmira asked.
Hardie cut in with, “No, there is no problem. None. Zero. Nada.” He continued for an impressively long list of synonyms for ‘nothing’ as Cunningham gradually deflated under the weight of them. “You employ these people; you do not own them. They have every right to their own opinions, even political ones, and you have no right to silence that as long as they are clear that they are acting as private individuals. Am I understood?”
“Perfectly,” Cunningham growled through clenched teeth before turning to Elmira. “Hembree—”
“No, not another word. I better not hear another thing about this. Not a one.” He then launched into an equally long list of synonyms for ‘one’ until Cunningham beat a retreat.
The Hunters barely waited until he had left the hallway before bursting into laughter.
“If he gives you any more trouble, let me know immediately, Myra,” Hardie said.
“I certainly will,” she said. “In fact, I should warn you that if this had him mad enough to spit Sickles, he is absolutely going to fly off his broomstick if he listens to the wireless tomorrow night.”
“I’m home,” Cunningham called, dropping his briefcase by the Floo and hanging his hat on the coat rack beside it. His wife shushed him and leaned towards the wireless to hear better.
“Whew,” Lee Jordan said on the broadcast. “A Nundu does not sound like something I want to run into in a dark alley.”
“Nor a bright one, for that matter,” his guest agreed. Oh no. That voice sounded familiar. It couldn’t be.
“For those just joining us,” Jordan said, “this is The Bewitching Hour with Lee Jordan, where I get to interview some of the most amazing witches in Great Britain. Today our guest is Elmira Hembree, an independently certified Dark Creature Hunter. She was the youngest participant in the Great Nundu Hunt of 1969 and now holds the world record for exterminating Dementors. She is also the head of the Ministry of Magic’s Werewolf Capture Unit, but she is with us today as a private individual, and her opinions do not reflect an official Ministry stance.”
“I am going to kill her,” Cunningham growled.
“Hush!” his wife said. “I want to hear this.”
Jordan continued with, “So, let’s talk about that Dementor record. How did you get the opportunity to exterminate so many?”
“The wars, obviously. I was an up-and-coming Dark Creature Hunter when the first wizarding war started, so when You-Know-Who unleashed the Dementors, I was the perfect candidate to hunt them. Young enough and crazy enough to do it, old enough that people wouldn’t feel too bad if I got myself murked in the process. Then in the second war, when the Werewolf Capture Unit was disbanded, a return to freelance Dementor hunting was the obvious next step. There was heavy suspicion that the Death Eaters had infiltrated the Ministry, and disbanding us when Fenrir Greyback was at his most bloodthirsty and we were desperately trying to keep werewolf packs from joining You-Know-Who confirmed it.”
“You know, it seems like werewolves would be a step down from hunting Nundu and Dementors,” Jordan said. “How did you end up in the Werewolf Capture Unit?”
“Well, that would be Fenrir Greyback again, although I didn’t know it then.”
Elmira had just sloughed off her jacket and was about to kick off her shoes when the doorbell rang. With an annoyed sigh, she grabbed the jacket again and opened the front door to find a woman standing on her porch.
“Can I help you?” Elmira asked.
“I hope so. I understand you’re a Dark Creature Hunter, and I’d like to make you a business deal. May I come in?”
“No,” Elmira said. The woman shook her head slightly in surprise. “I’ve hunted vampires, ma’am. I don’t invite anyone into my house unless they live here. There’s a chair to your right; we can talk on the veranda.”
The woman collected herself and sat in the indicated chair. Elmira shrugged her jacket back on, closed the door behind her, and hopped onto a seat on the porch railing.
“All right, so you’re looking for a Dark Creature Hunter,” Elmira said. “What in particular do you want dead?”
“You’re part of the Selwyn family, right?”
“That has nothing to do with what you want dead. Look, let me be blunt. I’m currently working for the Ministry of Magic to exterminate Dementors that have come off Azkaban. So you’ll have to pay better than they do.”
“Oh, I assure you we can. I’m very aware of your employment with the Ministry. I want you to stop.”
“I thought that was you, Ernestine. It’s been a while since Hogwarts, but I see you’re up to your old tricks.”
“I’m offering you a business deal.”
“You’re offering me a deal with the Death Eaters. No, thank you.” Elmira hopped off the railing. “I suggest you be gone before the Aurors get here.”
“You should hear me out before you turn me down. I understand you have a son now.”
“You are treading on very dangerous ground, Wesselman.”
“You should worry more about your own missteps. You’ve been hunting Dark Creatures for so long, it’d be tragic if your son became one.”
Elmira put on a wry smile. “What do you mean?”
“Come now, Myra. You know several types of Dark Creatures are contagious.”
“So what, you’ll send a vampire after him? You really think that would work? This family does have a bit of a reputation with them, you know.”
“Not a vampire. A werewolf.”
“You’re not seriously telling me that if I don’t stop working for the Ministry and start working for the Death Eaters, you’ll send a werewolf to bite my son.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Do you think you can protect him every full moon? Without a single mistake?”
“I think I don’t need to, because werewolves can’t infect dhampyr.”
Ernestine mouthed the word ‘dhampyr?’ in surprise, giving Elmira the delay she needed to whip out her wand and cast a curse. Ernestine cast a Shield Charm, but Elmira’s spell shattered it, the magical shards cutting through Ernestine’s skin like glass. Elmira followed it with a Stunner and a Binding spell, leaving Ernestine stunned and wrapped in conjured ropes on the other end of the porch.
“I knew one of you fools would show up sooner or later,” Elmira said, grabbing a loop of the magical rope binding Ernestine. “I just expected it to be my cousin Caleb.”
She drug Ernestine into the house as her husband, Damien, descended the staircase. He paused on seeing her, his pale, clawlike fingers wrapping around the bannister. “Trouble outside, dear?”
“No, no trouble, just an annoyance. Are you hungry? You’d get away with this one.”
Damien put his hand on his stomach. “Oh, and she smells delicious, too. But you know I just ate a whole pig and a couple of blood units from St George's a few days ago, so I’m honestly stuffed.”
“Pity. I’ll have to drag her to the Aurors, then. Could you pick up Scott from his playdate at the Millers’? I may not be back in time, and you know they get wiggy about having him there after sunset.”
“You’re married to a vampire?” Lee asked in obvious disbelief.
“For 32 very happy years this June,” Elmira said.
“Happy anniversary. I have to say, that was pretty gutsy with Wesselman.”
“Well, I’m a Dark Creature Hunter. If I didn’t have the courage to stand up to the Death Eaters, who would? I knew they would come after me again, so I sent my husband and son abroad until the war ended. But I also kept thinking I couldn’t be the only person they were threatening with that werewolf. There were plenty of suspicious bites back then. So I was 30-some years old, full of pep and vinegar, and thought, ‘I’m a Dark Creature Hunter, and werewolves are about the weakest Dark Creatures worth hunting. If I join the Werewolf Capture Unit, I can catch this guy in a year.’ Yeah, not so much. Fenrir Greyback wasn’t captured until the Battle of Hogwarts, and only then because the Death Eaters literally drove him insane.”
“Now, we won’t talk too much about your time as a Werewolf Hunter,” Lee said, “but I am wondering your opinion—as a private individual and independently certified Dark Creature Hunter—on what would be the best solution to the so-called ‘werewolf problem’?”
“Disability payments,” Elmira said immediately. “Or really, jobs, but in the current political environment, I think disability payments would be more likely.”
“Disability payments or jobs. So, just money, then?”
“Yes, just money. Werewolves are not a problem, except possibly in an epidemiological sense. Except for one night a month, werewolves are just like everyone else. But like everyone else, if we force them to choose between stealing or starving, they’re going to steal. So, we solve that problem by giving them better options. In fact, if you really want a good explanation of what the so-called ‘werewolf problem’ is and is not, you should read Ill Met by Moonlight by Professor Hermione Granger. It is absolutely rivetting; I stayed up all night to finish it the first time. I’ve made all my Hunters read it.”
“Really?” Lee asked. “As I recall, you weren’t shown in a very positive light in that.”
Hembree made a ‘mm’ sound. “That’s fine. Not everyone’s going to like me. I’m not chocolate.”
“So—again, as a private individual—what is your opinion on the Werewolf Control Act?”
“I think it is the worst idea I have ever heard in my entire life—and remember, I was a 21-year-old invited to tag along on a Nundu hunt, so I have seen some bad ideas. Look, if I knew my wand would be permanently taken away in any encounter with law enforcement or the Ministry, they would be prying it out of my cold, dead fingers, and I would take a few people with me. Maybe werewolves are better people than I am, but… If that law passes, I will put in my resignation. I have no desire to pry wands out of cold, dead fingers.”
“I think we will close on that powerful statement from Dark Creature Hunter Elmira Hembree. We had two book recommendations for you this evening: The Great Nundu Hunt by Autumn Howard and Ill Met by Moonlight: The Fenrir Greyback Story by Professor Hermione Granger. As always, if you mention this show while purchasing them, Flourish and Blotts will give you a 10% discount. This has been The Bewitching Hour with Lee Jordan. Remember to send an owl to your county mayor and encourage them to vote ‘no’ on the Werewolf Control Act.”
Elmira and Damien stepped out of the Floo and into absolute chaos. At least a hundred people were crammed into the Fox and Deer Pub’s dining room, chattering in a cacophony as everyone tried to be heard over everyone else. A “yoo hoo! Hunter Hembree!” sounded and a hand appeared above the crowd, then Beverly squeezed her way through the press of bodies. “It’s so good to see you again! I—oh!”
That “oh” was definitely on getting a look at Damien. “Hello, Beverly,” Elmira said as the other woman’s eyes grew wide. “This is my husband. Damien, this is Beverly Adkins. I met her at the photo shoot.”
“Ah, yes, the lady who had the book you posed with. Charmed,” Damien said, taking Beverly’s hand and shaking.
“I’m surprised to see you here this afternoon, sir,” Beverly said.
“That’s because you’re thinking of nosferatu, who are violently sensitive to sunlight. I’m a strigoi. I can walk around as much as I like during the day as long as I don’t mind basically being a Muggle until sunset. Which I do mind, but this is important to Myra.”
Beverly giggled. “I didn’t know there were different kinds of vampires.”
“Oh, dozens.”
“Some of the Asian ones are so odd,” Elmira said. “We honeymooned in Malaysia and were harassed by this penanggalan. At night, their head comes off with their entrails hanging from it, and they fly around like the world’s most annoying mosquito.”
“Did you kill it?” Beverly asked.
Damien laughed. “No, Myra found the rest of her body and flipped it over so when the head rejoined it the next morning, it was on backwards. Oh, the penanggalan was so cheesed off! Our translator couldn’t keep up with all the cusswords coming out of her mouth.”
“It made my point, though,” Elmira said. “She didn’t bother us again after that.”
“Your life sounds so exciting. Oh!” Beverly dug into her purse and pulled out a copy of Ill Met by Moonlight. “Look what my book club decided to read next. I can’t wait. I’ve been reading Prof. Granger’s Living With Hope column since it started, and that’s always really interesting.”
“I think you’ll enjoy it very much.”
“Excuse me, everyone!” Seph’s magically amplified voice called over the din. The crowd noise dulled into quiet. “We’ve just heard from Owen that debate on the Werewolf Control Act will start as soon as the assembly returns from lunch, so we’re going to move this protest to the Ministry. We’ll be in the atrium, and we are going to sit there and be in everyone’s way. This is a nonviolent protest, so if someone tries to start a fight with you about it, don’t fight back. Nonviolent protest means the protestors are not violent; I can’t promise on the Ministry’s side.”
“Also, this is a wand-free protest,” Hermione Granger’s amplified voice added. “If you’ve brought your wand with you, please leave it with Mr. Capper at the bar, and he’ll put it in his safe.”
The pub owner waved to show everyone who to give their wands to.
“If you’re not able to sit on the floor for a prolonged time, please draw up a folding chair for yourself now,” Seph continued, “or see one of us wearing a W.A.G. badge and we will draw one up for you. I think there are some people here who have lycanthropy but are not registered or who would otherwise like to avoid being identified. If you would like a temporary Anonymity Charm cast on you, please see Mr. Corbin over…” Seph trailed off, his pointing finger wandering all over the crowd.
“Dude,” a man said, putting up his hand. “Mr. Corbin is my father, Seph.”
“He’s over by me,” called the young woman beside him, who wore an enormous hat shaped like a wolf’s head. She waved both hands to get everyone’s attention.
“Thank you, Ms. Lovegood. If you’d like a temporary Anonymity Charm, go see the man you can’t recognize over by the lady in the wolf hat. I think that’s everything. Mr. Capper, did you catch all that to tell anyone who comes late?”
“Sure did, Mr. Blaine,” Mr. Capper said. “We will keep funneling people to you until the vote’s been held.”
“All right. If everyone will queue up, we’re heading to the Ministry.”
The crowd sifted itself into a long, serpentine line. Beverly queued in front of the Hembrees, then someone bumped into Elmira from behind and said, “Sorry, ma’am.”
Elmira glanced over her shoulder. “Hi, Jasper.”
“Oh, Myra! Hi!” Jasper Marolt said. “I didn’t recognize you in that robe. I always forget how long your hair is when it’s down.”
Elmira took a count behind her. “Looks like we have everyone except Perkins?”
“Yeah, I thought he might bottle out,” Marolt said. “You know, he’s got the baby on the way and all.”
The line made it through with surprising speed, and soon they were all in the atrium of the Ministry of Magic, turning the floor into a sea of bodies. The room bustled, voices settling into a steady hum. Marolt suddenly tapped on Elmira’s shoulder like he was trying to set a new world speed record.
“What is it?” she asked, turning as he pointed to the Floos.
“Oh my goodness,” Beverly said as 13 people in black leather jackets walked into the atrium. “They look like trouble.”
“That is all three of the goblin mafia’s packs,” Marolt hissed to Elmira.
“Allegedly,” Elmira hissed back. “Play it cool.”
The blonde woman at the front of them pointed to Luna Lovegood in the wolf hat, or more accurately, to the unrecognizable man beside her that Elmira assumed was Chris Corbin. Six of the group broke off and went in that direction, while the rest followed the woman and the huge man at her side.
“Hey, Marolt, how’s it going?” the man asked with a mischievous grin.
“Just fine, Mac. Yourself?”
“That’ll depend on how today goes.” He turned to Elmira and Beverly. “Do you nice ladies mind if we sit next to you?”
Beverly let out a little squeak, but Hembree said, “Go right ahead, Mac.”
“Morgan’s Tailfeathers, Hembree?!” Mac asked in disbelief. He looked her over, taking in her flowered robe and long, loose hair. “You look a lot different with clothes on.”
The werewolves with him burst into laughter. Elmira gave them a few seconds to quiet down, then answered, “Yeah, that’s what your father said, too.”
A series of “ooh”s went through them as the Hunters snickered, and one of the younger mafia wolves licked his finger, pretended to put it on Mac’s shoulder, and made a sizzling sound.
“You got guts, Hembree; I’ll give you that,” the blonde woman said as they all sat on the floor.
“Planning to spread them all over the atrium, Celeste?”
“Oh, I’d like to, but…” She opened the front of her jacket. “No wand.”
“Friends of yours, dear?” Damien asked.
Before Elmira could answer, Celeste pointed at Damien and said, “That is a whole-ass vampire.”
“I would hate to be a half-assed vampire.”
Celeste laughed. “Oh, he thinks fast. I like this one.” She pointed between Damien and Elmira. “Is there a thing here?”
“This is my husband.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No, I am not.”
“How?”
“I would have thought your mother would have already given you that talk, Celeste.”
“Dear,” Damien laughed before turning to Celeste. “I’d like to tell you there was an epic battle of good and evil involved, but actually, we met at a book club.”
“He’s a huge dork for Jane Austin,” Elmira said.
Celeste gasped excitedly as Mac groaned and rolled his eyes. “Mr. Bennet is the best character ever. Fight me!”
“Oh Merlin.” Damien pinched the bridge of his nose. “I suddenly understand why you two hate each other so much.”
“Oh, you’re a Mr. Bingley person, aren’t you?” Celeste said to Elmira with obvious disgust.
“No, he’s a Mr. Bingley person,” Elmira said, pointing to her husband.
Damien said, “And Mr. Bennet is her fictional hall pass.”
“Dear! Too much information!”
“Way too much,” Celeste agreed.
“Oh, what book are you talking about?” Beverly asked, leaning forward.
They fell into conversation about books, and Celeste was telling Beverly how to get a good exchange rate on Muggle money to buy Pride and Prejudice for her club when Marolt cleared his throat and said to Elmira, “Looks like Cunningham’s coming.”
“Good for him,” she said.
“Are you sure we can’t just get them through Flourish and Blotts?” Beverly asked.
“If you want to pay way more, sure,” Celeste said.
“Seriously, it’s very easy,” Elmira said. “Wear a flowered robe like the one you’ve got on, put on a belt so it looks like a Muggle dress—”
“And some sandals, so you’ll look all bohemian,” Celeste said. “If you’ve got any chunky jewelry, that’s good, too.”
“Then just walk out of the Leaky Cauldron, turn south on Charing Cross Road, and go into the first Muggle bookstore you see.”
“There’s about a million of them,” Celeste said.
“And I promise, every single one will carry Pride and Prejudice in some form.” Cunningham walked up behind Elmira and cleared his throat. Ignoring him, she said, “You shouldn’t have to pay more than… What do you think, Celeste, maybe 6 pounds for a paperback?”
“At the outside. That’s about ten Sickles. Maybe twelve after the goblins take their share.”
“Oh, that is a lot better than Flourish and Blotts would be,” Beverly said. “I suppose I’ll give it a go, then. I can’t get too lost that close to the Leaky Cauldron, right?”
“Right.” Elmira winked at her. “It’ll be an adventure.”
Cunningham cleared his throat again, louder this time.
“Do you need a throat lozenge, sir?” Elmira asked. “I understand there’s something going around.”
“What the hell are all of you doing here?” he asked, waving his arm over the gathered Hunters.
“I am telling my new friend how to buy Muggle books for her book club.”
“Our book club,” Beverly said. “You’re going to join us on Wednesdays, right?”
“Oh, I’ll be there just to piss her off,” Celeste said with a gesture to Elmira.
Elmira said, “I’ll be there any Wednesday there’s not a full moon.”
“You might be able to do those, too, if you don’t get your arse into uniform and go clock in,” Cunningham said. “And that goes for the rest of you, too.”
“Oh, can’t do it, sir,” Elmira said. “I’ve got a lot of sick Hunters here.” She faked a cough, and so did the other five Hunters. Marolt actually said, “cough cough.”
“Do you think I’m playing games with you? You are all blatantly abusing the sick leave policy. Not even Hardie can save you if I decide to sack every last one of you.”
“That would really suck for Perkins,” Marolt said.
“It really would,” Elmira agreed. Looking at Cunningham again, she said, “You should probably tell Hunter Perkins he’ll be handling the full moon alone on Thursday.”
“You think I won’t do it?”
“Of course you won’t. You don’t have the guts.”
Cunningham turned on his heel and stomped off.
“Ooh,” Celeste said, leaning back on her hands. “Like a well-turned violin.”
“It should get really interesting here in about four minutes,” Elmira said with a glance at her watch.
Three minutes and 47 seconds later, a man dressed head to toe in dragon hide stomped out of a lift and plunked down beside the Hunters.
“Perkins, what are you doing?” Elmira snapped.
“Screw Cunningham if he thinks I’m handling the full moon on my own. He can sack me along with the rest of you, if that’s how it’s going to be.”
“Not that!” She pointed to the Floos. “Go home and change into civilian clothes! And leave your wand there!”
“Oh, right.” He hopped up and went to the Floo. Half an hour later, he returned with his very pregnant wife and a folding chair for her.
Hours passed. Several people tried to clear out the protest, which always proved entertaining once Hermione Granger entered the argument. A few tried to start a fight. Most of those were ended by Mac walking over, looming over the aggressor, and asking if there was a problem. After a few hours, the Fox and Deer Pub’s staff swarmed the atrium, handing out snacks and drinks.
Finally, Minister for Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt stepped out of the lifts and picked his way to the center of the crowd. Everyone was already quieting down when Shacklebolt called for attention. “I have the results of the vote on the Werewolf Control Act. It was 44 votes in favor, 2 abstaining, and 46 opposed. The measure is defeated.”
A cheer went up through the crowd, and Shacklebolt didn’t even try to say anything else above it. Elmira leaned over to Damien. “I’ll meet you at home later. Beverly, I’ll see you Wednesday.” She gestured to the other Hunters, and they all stood.
“Oh Morgan, it’s about to get real,” Celeste muttered to Mac.
Elmira waited for the cheers to dissolve into a dull roar of conversation, then stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly for everyone’s attention. Silence passed over the crowd like a wave. On the atrium’s far side, Hermione Granger and Seph Blaine turned around. Granger started across the room towards Elmira like she was looking for trouble.
“Interesting bit of trivia for everyone,” Elmira announced. “It takes a WCU Hunter about 20 minutes to don all of their gear. If you figure time to go home, gear up, get some much needed coffee, come back, and clock in…” Elmira turned to Marolt as Granger’s march slowed. “What do you think, Marolt? About 45 minutes?”
“Oh, I need more coffee than that,” he answered loudly enough to be heard across the atrium. “At least an hour.”
“All right, one solid hour,” Elmira said. “It would be a real shame if in one hour, everyone who has a warrant, a missing registration or another reason to avoid WCU Hunters moved their victory party somewhere else.”
“Crying shame,” Marolt agreed. Elmira gestured for the other Hunters to follow her, and they all marched towards the Floos.