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Jacob is going to cry, and it's stupid. He knows that. He knows that everything they say up there, out in the ring, is fake, but it doesn't stop the words from hurting like they do. Watching his favorite cousin -don't tell the others he said that, they'd never let him forget it- stand in front of thousands of people and insult him hurts him down to his core. It usually wouldn't be this bad, but he's been fighting regressing all day long, and it's harder to tell reality from fiction when he's like this. He's currently in his locker room, shoving his gear into his bag while blinking repeatedly, trying to lessen the sting in his eyes. He knows Solo didn't mean anything that he said, but the part of his brain that's little is screaming that he did. That he doesn't love him anymore, that they're not family anymore.
He knows it's stupid, really, he does.
His spiraling is interrupted by a knock on the door, three sharp taps, followed by three slow ones, and he knows it's Solo. He's done that knock since they were kids, and he's conflicted on whether he even wants to respond to him.
“I know you're in there Jacob.”
Guess he doesn't get that choice anyway. He groans, zipping up his bag with way more force than necessary, and turns to open the door. Solo is leaning against the wall, still dressed in his black dress pants. He's lost the suit top somewhere along the way, and the gloves are gone too, but he's still wearing his undershirt.
“You're acting weird.” His voice is sharp, like he's annoyed with Jacob, and it just makes things worse. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this, and he can't think of a single thing.
“Don't know what you mean.” His voice is rough when he replies, and he clears his throat, turning to look away from him. He tenses when he feels the other man put his hand on Jacob's back, rubbing at his shoulder.
“You're avoiding me, just wanted to make sure you're ok.”
“I'm fine Solo.”
“Well the way you're shoving stuff in your locker says otherwise.”
“Do you hate me?”
Solo's hand stills, and Jacob can practically feel the confusion radiating off of him.
“What?”
“Do you hate me?” His voice cracks towards the end as he asks again, no matter how hard he tries not to. He's still not looking at his cousin, instead glaring at the locker like he's trying to explode it with his mind or something. “You said I was stupid.”
“Jacob what-” Solo cuts himself off, trying to make sense of what his cousin is saying. “Is this about the gas comment?”
Jacob doesn't say anything, just nods sharply.
“I didn't mean any of it, you know that. It's just the script, Jacob.”
He knows it's just a script, that's what makes this whole interaction so embarrassing. He wants to curl up somewhere and cease to exist for a bit.
“I don't hate you man, I never could.”
It makes him feel a bit better, but he still feels like everything is just slightly off. He doesn't answer, just pulls his cousin into a hug, Solo grunting at the force of it, but wrapping his arms around him anyways.
“Are you feeling ok?”
Jacob shrugs, still holding onto the other man so that he doesn't have to look him in the face. He knows that the moment he does, he'd break. His family had always been his weak point, especially the man holding him.
“Hey, look at me.”
He doesn't, eyes clamped shut where he's resting his head against Solo's shoulder. They sit in silence, before Solo brings his hand up to grab at his older cousin's jaw, pulling his face back. Jacob gives in way too damn easily, letting Solo drag his head wherever he wants. They end up staring at each other, Solo moving his hand up to hold the side of his face, before he starts speaking.
“What's wrong uce?”
And that's all it takes. Jacob's lip starts to wobble but he tries his hardest, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He has to breathe deeply for a few seconds to calm down, Solo rubbing his thumb across his cousin's skin as he waits.
“Feel small.” He opens his eyes, no longer feeling like he's on the verge of crying, and shrugs. Solo raises an eyebrow, humming in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Just,” he shrugs again, unsure of what to say. “Everything's too big.”
Solo pulls him forward again into a hug -he really is enjoying how much he's being held right now- and leads Jacob's face back to his shoulder. It's a good thing his cousin can hold his weight, because Jacob practically melts against the other, hands twisting into the fabric of Solo's shirt.
“Would you like to spend the night with me?”
Jacob nods, and hums in agreement but doesn't move. Solo lets him stay before he moves back, grabbing Jacob's bag and walking out of the room. He's not even a few steps out of the room before Jacob grabs onto his hand, squeezing his hand around Solo's, not letting go. He lets Solo lead them away and out of the arena, still holding onto him tightly even when they get to the car, then the hotel. Solo was supposed to be rooming with Jey and Jimmy, but the two of them are off somewhere -probably with their respective partners- so only Solo's stuff is strewn about the room. He places his cousin's bag next to the bed and turns around to face him. “You still feeling,” he hesitates for a moment. “small?”
Jacob nods, not knowing how he should respond. He doesn't know how else to explain this to his cousin, just that he needs someone in his family right now, and Jacob's glad it's him.
“Well how about you get changed then we can figure that out?”
Solo helps him pull pajamas out of his duffel bag, handing them over before he gets changed himself.
“Solo?”
Solo hums and looks up, throwing his gloves onto the chair currently holding his dress pants and shirt.
“I don hate you. You know, right?”
Solo has never heard his cousin's voice this timid, even as children, and he walks forward to hopefully comfort him some more.
“I know that, little wolf. You could never hate me, and I could never hate you.” He says this with as much conviction as he can, but also trying not to be stern. He doesn't know exactly what is going on, but he can tell that Jacob's mind is more fragile right now. He also doesn't know where the nickname came from, but it's obviously the right choice, based on the small smile that Jacob gives him when he hears it. “It's just the script, it's not true, I promise.”
Jacob can feel a lot of the tension leaving his body at Solo's words, the reminder that it's all made up helping him relax.
“You feeling better now?”
“A bit. Still small, sorry.”
“Oh don't apologize,” Solo's led them to what Jacob can assume is his bed, and he sits down, patting the bed next to him. “It's not your fault, little wolf. I get how scary it can be up there in front of all those people.”
The bed is dipping under their combined weight on the same space of bed, so Jacob shimmies backwards so he's on the other side of the bed, laying down but propped up on his elbows. Solo copies him, dragging the blankets up over their legs. “You'll always be my family, no matter what.”
Jacob lays down fully, slightly leaning on his cousin, and closes his eyes, sighing in content. “Bloodline for always.”
Solo chuckles from next to him and lays down too, rubbing Jacob's shoulder before getting comfortable. “I'll be here in the morning, because that's what families do, they stick together. Now get some sleep, little wolf, it'll be ok.”
He leans over to press a kiss to the top of his cousin's head, and Jacob smiles softly at the feeling. He hasn't done that since they were kids, and it's a comforting motion that makes the heaviness of his eyelids increase. “Night Solo, love you.”
“And I love you more uce.”