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After the thumb incident and the kidnapping, things haven’t exactly been great between Kelvin and his father. There’s lingering anger from both parties at the other, which is fair, but not exactly super healthy. But when exactly was the last time this family was healthy? Certainly not in Kelvin’s lifetime, he vividly remembers the fights he and his siblings got up to at the smallest provocations, their Mama wouldn’t even get involved unless Jesse started swearing up a storm or Judy threatened to kill one of them just a bit too seriously.
But Kelvin wants things to be better between him and his daddy, and honesty is the first step. Being honest about the feelings he’s having towards Keefe, how they kissed before church yesterday. He barely even knew how to categorize these feelings a couple days ago, his whole life he’s been lying to himself about who he was. But now, cat’s out of the bag, he’s a gay man that’s in love with another man, and he can’t change that.
He’s never been overtly afraid of his father, even when they had their fight after BJ’s baptism, Kelvin still only saw his daddy, not someone who could’ve done him any significant harm. But right now, standing at the end of the dock, watching him quietly fish from afar, Kelvin can feel his hands shaking. He’s never gone here alone, always flanked by Jesse and Judy as backup, he can’t even remember the last time he talked to his dad one on one like this.
“Well, are you gonna just stand there all day or come sit next to me, boy?” Eli asks in a gruff tone, how he can tell without even turning his head that only Kelvin is there is pure sorcery.
Kelvin sighs, and shakes out his head and hands, Keefe helped hype him up for this moment ever since church ended, he can do this. “Yeah, I just—uh—just had to think about what I wanted to say.”
“Come, sit.” He pats the ground next to the five gallon bucket he’s always sitting on, Kelvin takes a deep breath and plops down.
They sit there for what feels like an hour, but is most definitely 30 seconds. Kelvin swats at bugs flying around in his peripheral the whole time. “I don’t know what you see in this, daddy. It’s boring as hell and way too quiet, and there’s man eating mosquitoes everywhere.”
“It helps me think,” Eli laughs, “sometimes, I feel like I can hear you and your brother and sister screaming at each other from across the compound. I appreciate the quiet. Not the biggest fan of the bugs though.”
“Guess I thrive when there’s a lot of noise.”
“You do, always have.” He glances over at Kelvin, “What is it you wanted to tell me, son?”
Kelvin can’t bear to look at his father as he forms the thought in his mind. He’s heard what some people in the church think, how the parents in youth group wanted to pull their kids out simply from the rumor that he and Keefe were homosexual. That they’re going to “ corrupt their children” in some way from purely existing, as if none of the work Kelvin had already done with them in their faith journeys meant nothing. And what if they’re right? What if his days in the church are done? Eli Gemstone wouldn’t want his brand tarnished by someone like Kelvin who would drive away their flock by simply existing.
It hurts, a deep stabbing pain in his chest, but he takes a breath, he can’t live in the shadows anymore.
“Daddy,” Kelvin starts, “I—I’ve been having these… strange feelings lately. And I’ve been talking to God about it, and I feel like God wants me to be open and honest about this. I can’t hide myself anymore.”
Eli places his fishing rod in a holder at the end of the dock, and fully turns to face Kelvin. “Whatever you wanna say Kelvin, I’ll listen. You don’t have to worry.”
Kelvin’s voice breaks, “But what if you’re mad at me?”
“Son, unless you killed someone or took money from the church I’m not going to be mad.” Eli places a hand on Kelvin’s shoulder, he can definitely tell that whatever his son has to say is important, it’s not like this family to beat around the bush on pressing matters. The gesture only makes Kelvin cry harder, the weight of his father’s hand on him feels even heavier knowing he could take it away, kick him and Keefe off the compound for such treacherous sin, make it so he never has a career in the church again. “Kelvin Joseph,” Eli says in an even tone, “what did you want to tell me?”
Kelvin wipes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, “Daddy, I—I’m having these urges , h-homosexual urges… towards… towards Keefe. And I don’t want to hide it anymore.” He adds another layer of clarification, “Daddy, I’m gay.”
The only sound Kelvin hears is the cicadas of late summer buzzing away in the trees, the breeze ruffling the leaves, and splashing of ducks across the pond. His father is silent, processing this information. He wants to start crying again, until he’s interrupted. “That’s it?”
That gives Kelvin pause, “What?”
“Be serious, did you kill someone?”
“No, god no, Daddy, did you hear what I said?!” Is his dad crazy or something, cause he’s definitely never said this before.
Eli insists, “I did, and I already knew that you’re gay.”
How could he have known? Kelvin didn’t even know until a couple days ago. “I—I don’t understand.”
Eli takes off his sunglasses, looking his son in the eyes, “Kelvin, when you were a toddler, your mama looked at me and she said, ‘Eli, I think that baby is gay.’”
It’s hard to explain how Kelvin feels when he hears that his mother somehow knew as well, not even when he was older and cut up Judy’s copies of Tiger Beat for the pictures of Hayden Christensen and Lance Bass. No, when he was a baby. He’s overwhelmed with emotion, overcome with grief that he couldn’t tell his mama now, but at the same time overjoyed that she somehow knew that, and still loved him just the same.
His voice cracks, “Mama said that?”
“Yes she did, she said that you were far more sensitive than Jesse was at the same age, you liked clothes shopping more than any of your siblings, and…” he pauses, “and she just knew. It was one of those things where you intrinsically know it to be true.” Eli takes Kelvin’s hand, bringing him to stand up so he can hug him, the kind of enveloping hug he hasn’t felt in a long time, “Your mama didn’t care, she loved you more than anything, gay or straight, it didn’t matter to her. And it doesn’t matter to me.”
Kelvin doesn’t know what to say, he knew his father loved him ever since the coma incident with the Cycle Ninjas, but this feels far larger and more meaningful. This is accepting Kelvin intrinsically as the man he is. He can’t help but sob into his father’s shoulder. “Thank you daddy, I love you.”
“I love you too, Kelvin. Always will, you know that. Thank you for telling me yourself.”
“What’s gonna happen at church? Some of the parents in youth group were already wantin’ to pull their kids out because of rumors about me and Keefe.”
Eli huffs and sits back down, “Let ‘em leave, if they can’t accept you, they’re not worth your time.”
“But their kids are,” Kelvin insists, “lord knows how many kids there are in the program that are like me and don’t have mamas and daddies like I do. They need to stay here.” He’s talked one on one with a lot of the kids in his youth group, they feel comfortable confiding in him details about their lives that they’re scared to share in polite company otherwise. Divorce tearing families apart, emotional and physical abuse, parents threatening to send their child to camp if they don’t behave (Kelvin knows exactly what that’s code for), and depression from having to repress who they are. All Kelvin wants is to show these kids the gospel and hope they find something in it to give them comfort and hope for their lives,
Eli looks out to the slowly setting sun, shining gold through the trees, “Jesus never taught intolerance or hate.”
Kelvin wipes his eyes and chuckles, “Uh no shit, that’s like JC’s whole thing Daddy, lovin’ everyone.”
“Not according to everyone,” Eli shakes his head, “some people want to keep being hateful no matter what. They start puttin’ words into God’s mouth.”
“How do I make a difference for these kids? They deserve the best from me.”
Eli considers this a moment, he’s not one to put ideas into his children’s heads, he knows they’re all creative in their own ways and will find some way of solving a problem on their own. “I think you already know the answer to that, son. Think about what you would’ve needed at that age, something that would make you feel like the church accepted you, because we do.”
Just then, a nugget of an idea springs to his mind, it’ll need some work and a ton of moodboards, but Kelvin knows it’ll be a success, he just needs time. He stands up, ready to get out of this bug infested hell hole his dad spends hours at for some ungodly reason, “Thanks daddy, this all… all of it means a lot.”
“Of course,” he hugs Kelvin again, kissing him on the temple, “we still gotta marry you off before I can fully relax and retire.” Both of them laugh, “I honestly thought you and Keefe were dating already.”
“We haven’t made it official official yet, but,” Kelvin clicks his tongue, bouncing on his feet in giddiness, “but, we did kiss before church this morning.”
“Wow,” Eli says in mock shock, “kissin’ and cohabitation before marriage, you’re worse than Judy.”
“What can I say, it’s 2024 daddy, times do be changin’.”
Speak of the devil, a text message from Keefe dings, dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. Kelvin pats his dad’s arm, “I’ll let you know when I have a plan for all this.”
“I look forward to it, now go on, don’t leave your man waiting.”
Kelvin runs off, a burst of creative energy flowing through him. He needs to get his co-youth pastor in on this idea, it can’t come to fruition without him.
-
One year later.
It’s been quite a doozy these past couple weeks for Kelvin and Keefe; first the Top Christ Following Man award win, officially coming out to the public, then the proposal, then Kelvin surviving getting shot and having to help kill one of his childhood best friends. It’s a lot, and if he’s being fully honest, he’s fucking exhausted. It’s their first Sunday back at church since the shooting, all their injuries finally healed to the point where they can walk and preach again. Jesse’s up at the mic, he hasn’t done a sermon since before the award ceremony. Usually he’ll preface with everyone what it’ll be about at the family huddle before church so they can plan scripts accordingly, but he didn’t this time, at least not with everyone. Amber, Gideon, Judy, and Eli seemed to know, so he’s quite intrigued.
Kelvin and Keefe sit in the front row, as instructed, and watch Jesse as he starts his message.
“Tolerance,” he starts, “that word gets thrown around a lot these days, doesn’t it? Intolerance, bigotry, hatefulness, all these words we hear every day with regards to the church and people who follow Christ’s word. But what if it weren’t that way? What if we as Christians took to heart what Jesus said about loving thy neighbor?
The world would certainly be a much safer, happier place for my children, I know that for sure.” Muttered mmhmms and amens sprinkle throughout the audience. “Lord knows how many wars have been started because one guy hated how another guy lived and they had to duke it out because of it.” Jesse starts walking around the stage; gesturing with his hands, the spitting image of Eli in his preaching days, “A lot of people will say, ‘Oh but God said that to lay with another man is a sin, I should hate that sinner!’ Or, ‘This person is of a different religion than me, and won't accept Jesus into their life, I should hate them for that!’ Or, ‘This woman sells naked pictures of herself on the internet for money, she’s going to hell!’”
But I’d like to remind those people of the fact that Jesus was friends with Pharisees, the woman who found that he was gone from the tomb was a prostitute and one of Jesus’ closest friends, and he said to love thy neighbor as yourself.
And to bring it a bit closer to home, my little brother, Kelvin Gemstone, Top Christ Following Man of the Year, get on up here.” He gestures to Kelvin, bringing him up on stage next to him, the entire stadium fills with whoops and cheers from the congregation. Jesse grins and pats him on the shoulder, “Now I’m sure y’all have seen it at this point, but he made the extremely brave decision, in the face of bigotry and homophobic language used by another nominated pastor, to come out publicly as a homosexual man.”
In an extremely rare moment of vulnerability, Jesse is choked up, wiping tears from his eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud and more honored to call myself Kelvin Gemstone’s brother than when I watched that speech. And I’m saying in front of our entire congregation here in Rogers, all our satellite locations, and everyone watching the livestream on Godd; I, Jesse Gemstone, love my gay brother. Nothing will ever change that.”
The moment is surreal, Kelvin looks out to the congregation, feeling like the strongest person in the entire world. And they’re cheering for him, applauding for the message of hope and unity. He and Jesse envelope each other in a crushing hug, Jesse covering his mic so only Kelvin can hear, “Love you man, you’re fuckin’ badass.”
“I love you too, thank you Jesse.”
Judy comes down from the choir section to join in on the moment, hugging Kelvin and kissing him on the cheek. “So proud of you, boy.” And for a moment, they’re all embracing each other, something they wouldn’t even dream of doing just a year ago.
Keefe’s been persuaded to come on stage too, his black glittery suit twinkling like starlight under the studio lights. The siblings part, and he and Kelvin crash into each other spectacularly. Kelvin grabs Keefe’s jaw and kisses him, in front of God and the entire church. He finally got his wish, of he and Kelvin kissing out in the open in front of everyone.
“Did you know that would happen?!” Kelvin asks, breathlessly.
Keefe shakes his head, smiling so wide, the little creases on the sides of his eyes have appeared. “Not at all, but I sure am glad it did.”
They turn to face everyone, revealing their twin engagement rings. The band kicks up into their post sermon hymnal, Kelvin isn’t even paying attention to what song it is, he’s too caught up in this moment.
After so many years of repression and fear, after years of hiding who he was and unknowingly starving himself of happiness; here he is, on stage with his fiancé and family, celebrating the fact that he’s a queer man. And the church crowd is celebrating right along with them. That overwhelming fear he had about not being accepted seems so silly now; sure there will be some naysayers who will complain about this and leave the church, but it’s just like Jesse said in his message, if they’re not willing to accept everyone like Jesus did, they’re wasting their time here. And Kelvin knows that all those kids who’s parents want to complain have Prism bibles hidden somewhere in their rooms; if he can’t reach them himself, that’s the next best thing.
Somewhere out there, he knows his mama is looking down with pride. She’s probably up there in heaven right now saying, “I only wish I could’ve been there in person, I love you baby.”