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  1. Preparation H by for detergent

    Fandoms: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, Flameborn (Multiverse)  

    10 Jun 2025

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    Summary

    Sauron pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let me take a wild guess. You and Juniper were trying to become gods. Again."

    Larry's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. "How didst thou—"

    "Because I know you, Larry. This is the third time this year. First it was that business with the goat and the lightning rod. Then the incident at the reservoir that turned all the fish inside out. Now this." Sauron shook his head. "When will you learn that godhood isn't something you can achieve through half-baked rituals you found on the dark web?"

    "We were very closeth this time!" Larry protested, his voice rising an octave. "The power was tangiblest! We felt the very cosmos bendingeth to our willest!"

    "Right up until it sent you flying through the air in a tornado of excrement."

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