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When Shadow first started living with the Wachowskis, he didn’t expect to be… accepted by them. He was used to being seen as dangerous, nothing more than a science experiment to be played with then locked away when the scientists got what they needed. He wasn’t used to humans (adult humans, at least) treating him with any form of kindness.
But Tom and Maddie had been kind and patient with him since the very beginning, which he felt he didn’t deserve after how he’d hurt Tom. For the first week, he spent every second on edge. He’d just been waiting for them to reveal that this was all just a trick to get him to lower his guard before handing him back to GUN. He couldn’t bring himself to trust the kindness. But that ‘other shoe’ he was waiting for never dropped. The humans always greeted him with smiles and kind words, never overstepping boundaries that he hadn’t realized he’d set, yet they respected anyway. They didn’t ask too many questions about his past, and they didn’t touch him without first asking to (and never to hurt him, shockingly enough). The scientists had never treated him with that level of respect.
Sonic and Tails grew used to his presence surprisingly quickly. Considering Sonic had been there when Tom asked Shadow to come stay with them, Shadow wasn’t too shocked that he never took issue with Shadow living there. Tails, however, had seemed terrified of him for the first few days. He never spoke to Shadow, he always fled the room if he and Shadow ended up alone together, and he flinched hard when Shadow accidentally brushed against him in a hallway. It got to the point where Shadow had started hiding in his room more just to avoid seeing Tails. He hated knowing that the little fox saw him as the dangerous creature the scientists had thought of him as.
And yet, after about a week and a half of Shadow living with them, Tails asked Shadow for help with a project. The request had left Shadow stunned. He’d hesitated, but ultimately agreed to help the fox. Turns out, the thing Tails needed help with was an invention that could only be powered with Chaos energy. Usually Sonic helped with such things, but Sonic had gone to work with Maddie that day.
“Thanks so much, Shadow!” Tails had said with an excited smile, watching as his newest creation lit up. His smile turned sheepish, his twin tails swishing behind him. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d be willing to help since I’ve kinda been… avoiding you. That wasn’t nice of me. Sorry.”
For the second time that day, the little fox had left Shadow baffled.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I attacked you, it is only natural that you would hate me for it.” Shadow had said with a shrug.
Tails blinked up at him, then frowned. “I don’t hate you. I mean, you’re kinda scary, but Sonic says you’re a good person, and I trust him.”
Shadow hadn’t had a response to that. Still didn’t, if he was being honest. He certainly didn’t feel like a good person.
After that day, Tails had made an effort to talk to Shadow more, usually rambling excitedly about whatever he was currently working on in the shed. It reminded Shadow of the GUN scientists, but Tails’ enthusiasm and love for science kept Shadow from pushing him away. The scientists were always cold and uncaring, but Tails wasn’t like that. He was far better than them.
Knuckles had been the hardest to live with so far. He made it clear from day one that he did not, and would not, trust Shadow. He watched Shadow with suspicion, especially when Shadow happened to be in the same room as Tom. He wouldn’t speak to Shadow, hardly even acknowledging his presence other than to keep an eye on him.
Shadow was the most tense around him. He was certain, were one of the Wachowskis to attack him without warning, it would be Knuckles. He never brought any of it up to Sonic or the humans, though (he still didn’t trust that the humans would do anything to protect him from the echidna, anyway). Knuckles hadn’t actually done anything to harm him, and the echidna’s distrust had been earned, so he endured it silently. He had no problem with it.
Well, not at first.
One week turned into two, and Knuckles still glared at him when he entered the room. He’d come into the kitchen to eat breakfast with everyone. Most of the others greeted him with friendly smiles, but Knuckles scowled at him, as usual. He thought nothing of it.
Until Knuckles approached him after everyone else left the room.
Despite having done nothing to harm him yet, Shadow’s heart sped up as the echidna walked closer, a hard look on his face. When Knuckles stopped in front of him, Shadow simply faced him, crossing his arms and waiting for Knuckles to speak (or swing at him).
“You may have tricked the others into believing you are their friend, but I know you are only waiting until you can attack us again.” Knuckles sneered.
Shadow frowned in confusion. ‘Tricked’ the others into believing he was their friend? He didn’t recall actually befriending any of them to begin with (except maybe Sonic, but the blue hedgehog had more or less forced friendship onto Shadow. Not that he was complaining).
“If I was going to attack you, I would have done it already.” Shadow stated blankly. That must have been the exact wrong thing to say, as Knuckles growled at him.
He shoved a giant finger at Shadow’s chest. “I will not allow you to hurt my family more than you already have! You cannot fool me like you have done to them! I know what you are, monster!” He punctuated each point with a jab at Shadow’s chest.
Shadow’s breath hitched. Monster. The word echoed in his mind over and over and over. Monster. Monster. He was a monster.
Knuckles, apparently satisfied, walked out of the kitchen, leaving Shadow alone to spiral.
What was he doing, staying in this house, with the people he’d hurt so badly? He shouldn’t be here. He could have killed Sonic and his brothers, he nearly did kill Tom. Knuckles was right. He needed to leave.
Monster. Monster. Monster.
***
“Knuckles, have you seen Shadow?”
Knuckles turned away from the TV, looking to his hedgehog brother. He rolled his eyes at the younger alien before turning back to the TV. “Regrettably.”
“Don’t be mean. Do you know where he is? I can’t find him.” Sonic leaned over the back of the couch, poking Knuckles in the head.
Knuckles swatted his hand away. “I do not know where he is, and I do not care.”
“It’s just, I haven’t seen him since breakfast, and it’s gonna be dinner time soon. Mom said she couldn’t find him either.”
Why did everyone care if the more impressive hedgehog went missing for a couple hours? The Wachowskis would be better off if he went missing permanently. Shadow had nearly killed Tom, why did the others seem to forget that?
Knuckles assumed that Sonic only forgave Shadow for his past actions because he’d never met another hedgehog that could run as fast as him, and he enjoyed racing him. Tails’ recent efforts to befriend Shadow were concerning, to say the least. The fox was so young, his pitiful strength could not compare to Shadow. Knuckles was certain Shadow had been taught to fight from a young age, he fought like a trained warrior. But Tails was still just a kit, if Shadow attacked him, he would be defenseless.
Tom and Maddie forgiving Shadow was probably the most confusing to Knuckles. In Shadow’s attempt to kill Tom, he’d left him with a broken arm that took weeks to heal from. Maddie had been the one to help Tom the most during that time, she could see how much pain Shadow had caused not just Tom, but the whole family. Why was he so easily forgiven? Why was he allowed to stay here, in the space that was meant to be safe for them?
“Why do you care so much?” Knuckles grumbled, not looking away from his show.
“Because he’s our friend?”
“He’s your friend. He is still my enemy. I have not forgotten the pain he has caused our tribe.”
Sonic shot Knuckles a glare. “Dude, Shadow’s not a bad guy-“
“Have you forgotten how he almost killed dad? Or how he threw a car at us? Or maybe when he almost got us sucked into a black hole? He is a bad person, brother! He is a monster, and I refuse to acknowledge him as anything else!” Knuckles snapped, finally making eye contact with the younger alien.
Sonic’s eyes widened. “You- don’t call him that!”
“Why shouldn’t I? It is true! He did not even argue with me this morning-“
“Knuckles.” Sonic cut him off. His eyes were wide with concern and… alarm? “Please tell me you didn’t call Shadow a monster to his face.”
Knuckles blinked. “Should I not have?”
The look of horror on Sonic’s face was enough for Knuckles to know that he screwed up in some way he didn’t understand.
“Oh, crap. I think I know why nobody can find Shadow.” Sonic gasped, his ears flattening.
Knuckles raised an eye ridge. “Why?”
“He probably ran away!” Sonic spat suddenly. Knuckles nearly flinched back at the sudden anger. “I would too, if I was getting called a monster in the place I was supposed to feel safe!”
“What, the hedgehog cannot handle a simple insult? That is-“
“It’s not just an insult, Knuckles! He already thinks of himself as a monster, because GUN made him feel that way. We were supposed to be different.”
Knuckles frowned. “What do you mean?”
Sonic sighed. “You still don’t know how GUN treated him, do you?”
Knuckles scoffed. “Does it matter?”
“Yes, it matters!” Sonic groaned in frustration. “You keep treating Shadow like he’s this horrible person, but you don’t actually know what he’s been through!”
“Commander Walters said-“
Sonic cut him off with a harsh laugh. “Yeah, I don’t care what Walters said. He left out all the parts that made him and his coworkers look bad. The only person who actually knows what Shadow went through, is Shadow.”
“And he told you?”
“Yes! Because we’re friends, and I don’t treat him like garbage! He-“ Sonic paused. “He’s… more like us than you think.”
Knuckles almost laughed at the mere idea that the other hedgehog was anything like them. That cruel bastard was nothing like them, they chose to help people, but Shadow wanted nothing more than to see the humans burn. Sure, he’d pushed the Eclipse Cannon away from the Earth, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d been the one to power the planet destroying weapon to begin with.
“Look, I’m gonna try to find him. You…” Sonic shook his head, seeming almost disappointed. “If you see Shadow, leave him alone. I don’t want you making things worse.”
Sonic sped off in the blink of an eye. Something about his words left Knuckles’ chest feeling tight. Had he gone too far this morning?
No, of course not. He was only protecting his tribe, his family. Shadow was an intruder, and he had to be dealt with like one.
***
Knuckles didn’t see Sonic again until Tom and Maddie were almost finished with dinner. He ran into the kitchen, his quills in slight disarray, and coated in snow, looking like they did when he went on a long run.
“Hi, honey.” Maddie greeted him. She frowned when she took in his current state. “Is something wrong?”
Sonic shot a glare at Knuckles. “Shadow is missing.”
Maddie followed Sonic’s gaze with confusion. “What do you mean, missing?”
“Knuckles was mean to him this morning, and now he’s just gone!”
Knuckles rolled his eyes, but shrank into himself slightly at Maddie’s sharp look.
“What did you say, Knuckles?” Maddie demanded.
“Nothing that was untrue.” Knuckles scoffed, crossing his arms.
Maddie looked unimpressed. “That wasn’t what I asked.”
Knuckles swallowed nervously. He glanced down at the table and mumbled, “I called him a monster.”
Tom stiffened from where he stood in front of the stove. He looked back at Knuckles. “You said what?!”
“Why would you say that?” Maddie asked.
“Because it’s true!” Knuckles shouted, slamming a hand down on the table. “Why do you all act as if it is normal that he lives with us? He attacked us, he worked with both Eggmen to destroy Earth, he tried to kill dad! How can you not see that he is a dangerous, monstrous being?”
“Knuckles-“ Maddie started, but Tom raised his hand to stop her.
“Go to your room.”
Knuckles blinked. “What?”
“You heard me. Go to your room.” Tom repeated, his voice leaving no room for argument. “I’ll have Tails bring some food up. Do not come back down here until I tell you to.”
Knuckles opened his mouth to argue, but the pure anger on Tom’s face was enough to keep him quiet. Why was Tom angry with him? He just wanted to keep them safe!
With a frustrated sigh, Knuckles left the kitchen and stomped upstairs, throwing himself on his bed roughly.
He glared up at the ceiling, his fists clenching and unclenching. Tom had never gotten this angry with any of them before. Even when he caught Sonic sneaking out of the house late at night to ‘fight crime like Batman’. Why was he defending the dark hedgehog? What had Shadow done to earn that?
Knuckles thought about what Sonic had said earlier, about Knuckles not knowing what Shadow had gone through. Why did that matter? It wouldn’t change how Knuckles felt about him. He could never forgive Shadow for hurting his family. This… was the first time Knuckles had actually had a family after losing his tribe. He couldn’t lose them, too.
***
Almost three hours passed, and Tom hadn’t come up to the attic. Tails had brought Knuckles a plate of food a while ago, looking both apologetic and disappointed in Knuckles, which was an odd look on the little fox kit. After he’d left, neither he nor Sonic had come up to the attic again.
Knuckles hadn’t expected to feel so… lonely up here without them, but he’d never admit it out loud. It had only been a few hours, he’d gone far longer without any form of contact or companionship. But that didn’t change how relieved he felt when he heard footsteps coming up to the attic.
That relief was short lived, however, when he saw that it was Tom who had come up. Knuckles figured he was still angry about earlier, so he kept his back to the attic’s entrance, curled up on his bed. Maybe if he stayed still, Tom would think he was asleep, and wouldn’t bother him.
“Knuckles? I think we need to talk.” Tom said.
Knuckles sighed. “Do we need to?”
“Yeah, bud, we do.”
Knuckles heard the attic’s opening fall shut as Tom entered fully. He walked to Knuckles’ bed and sat at the edge. For a moment, neither of them said anything.
Tom spoke first. “We found Shadow.”
Knuckles bit back a wince. Part of him had been hoping the other hedgehog would stay missing.
“He was hiding out near the Mean Bean. You know, Stone’s old coffee shop? When we found him, he was freezing, and hungry, and shaking like a leaf, and he seemed really upset. But it wasn’t the cold that was upsetting him.”
Knuckles frowned, refusing to acknowledge that he’d heard Tom at all. That didn’t stop the guilt from twisting his stomach, though.
“Do you know why it upset him so much to be called a monster?”
Knuckles didn’t answer.
“It’s because that’s how GUN treated him. They hurt him. They experimented on him for years, and treated him like his life didn’t matter because he wasn’t human.”
Knuckles curled in on himself slightly. That was… a horrible way to live. Nobody deserved that, not even someone like Shadow. “…I didn’t know that.”
“That isn’t even the worst thing that happened to him while he was with GUN.” Tom placed a hand on Knuckles’ arm. “I know you don’t forgive him for everything that happened, but I want you to try and get to know him better, okay? Ask him about his past, tell him about yours. I’m sure you’ll realize you two aren’t all that different. And maybe it’ll be a little easier for you two to get along after.”
Knuckles sighed. “Fine.” He paused. “Is he… okay?”
“He’s alright. Cold, and wet, but uninjured.” Tom squeezed Knuckles’ arm gently. “Try not to bother him tonight, alright? He’s still kinda jumpy right now. He’s… really only letting Sonic anywhere near him at the moment.”
“Over an insult.” Knuckles mumbled.
Tom froze. “Knuckles, listen to me.”
Knuckles stiffened. He hadn’t wanted Tom to hear that.
“Shadow is already taking a huge risk staying here. He’s putting himself in a vulnerable position. What if one of us were to, for example, attack him in his sleep?”
“We wouldn’t do that, because we are not m-“
“Knuckles.” Tom said sharply. He sighed. “Point being, Shadow has been hurt in the past, and it’s gonna be hard for him to trust that we won’t do the same. Shadow hasn’t done anything wrong since moving in with us, but you hurt him this morning.”
“I did not physically harm-“
“Not all harm is physical, bud. How do you think Sonic would feel if you told him Longclaw’s death was his fault?”
Knuckles’ breath hitched. “I- I would never do something so cruel to my brother.”
“I don’t think you would. But it would hurt him, right? Even if the pain isn’t physical?”
Knuckles nodded reluctantly. He hadn’t thought simple words would harm Shadow, he’d assumed the dark hedgehog was stronger than that, but he supposed even the strongest warriors had feelings that could be hurt.
“You can come back downstairs, kiddo.” Tom grinned lightly. “Whenever you’re ready to apologize to Shadow.”
Knuckles blanched. “I have to-?!”
“Yes, you do. Preferably sooner, rather than later.” Tom stood up. “Wait until tomorrow, then try to talk to him, alright?”
Knuckles sighed loudly. “Fine.”
***
A few minutes after Tom left the attic, Tails came up to go to sleep. He and Knuckles spoke for a couple minutes, but Tails had clearly been struggling to stay awake. When the fox kit fell asleep, Knuckles had expected Sonic to come up soon after him, but he didn’t.
After a while, Knuckles grew curious. Usually, Sonic, Tails and Knuckles went to bed at around the same time. What reason would Sonic have to stay up later? Had he snuck out of the house again? He normally waited later, not leaving until he knew Tom and Maddie were asleep.
Quietly, Knuckles left the attic, peeking into the living room from the staircase. His eyes narrowed when he spotted Sonic and Shadow on the couch together. He was about to go over and speak to them, to tell Sonic to just come to bed already, but a quiet sound made him pause.
It sounded like… crying? Did Shadow make Sonic cry?!
Upon closer inspection, Knuckles realized that it wasn’t his brother that was crying, but the dark hedgehog.
Sonic had his arms wrapped around Shadow while the smaller hedgehog sobbed against his shoulder.
“It’s gonna be alright, Shads.” Sonic murmured.
“I c-can’t be he- here.” Shadow gasped, his eyes squeezed shut. If he opened them, he might have spotted Knuckles at the staircase.
“Yes, you can. We want you here, Shadow.”
Shadow shook his head. “I’m d-dangerous. I put your w-whole family at risk by b-being here.”
Sonic ran a hand over Shadow’s quills, his touch so gentle it reminded Knuckles of when Sonic comforted Tails after a nightmare. “No, you don’t. We like having you here, Shadow. You’re our friend.”
Shadow sniffled. “K-Knuckles was right. I’m a- a monster. GUN should have just k-killed me.” He sobbed again, louder than before. “Y-you should have killed me.”
Knuckles’ heart dropped. Killed him? Sure, Shadow was dangerous, but that didn’t mean he deserved to die! And why would he himself want that?
Sonic’s arms tightened around Shadow. “Don’t say that. You’re not a monster. Knuckles didn’t know what he was really saying this morning. He doesn’t know-“
“But he was right!” Shadow wailed. “I only ever h-hurt people I care about. If GUN had killed me when they had the chance, Maria would still be alive! It’s m-my fault she’s dead.” He sobbed harder. “If- if I had handed myself over, they w-wouldn’t have killed her to get to m-me.”
How do you think Sonic would feel if you told him Longclaw’s death was his fault?
Suddenly, Tom’s earlier words made much more sense. Shadow had lost someone important to him, like Sonic lost Longclaw, and Knuckles lost his tribe. It hadn’t even occurred to Knuckles that Shadow had once had a tribe of his own, or that he could have lost them.
When Knuckles called Shadow a monster, it must have reminded him of his failure to defend his tribe. A pang of guilt made his chest constrict. Shadow truly did not mean to harm people, and all at once, Knuckles realized how much guilt Shadow must carry with him over the people he has hurt.
“Shadow, what happened to Maria wasn’t your fault. GUN didn’t have to hunt you guys, that was on them. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Shadow burrowed his face in the crook of Sonic’s neck, nuzzling against him almost desperately. Like a child seeking comfort.
How old was Shadow? He looked to be about Sonic’s age, though his voice made him sound older, and he’d been locked away for fifty years. Even then, with the way he acted now, Knuckles thought he might have been younger than Sonic.
All of this only made Knuckles feel worse about how he’d treated Shadow this morning- hell, how he’d treated him for the past two weeks. He couldn’t have known what his words would do to the dark hedgehog.
Sonic rubbed his face against the top of Shadow’s head, using his scent to soothe him like Knuckles had seen him do with Tails. “It’ll be okay, Shadow. I promise, it’s gonna be alright, now.”
Shadow’s cries slowly quieted, but didn’t stop entirely. His shoulders jolted with occasional sobs and hiccups, and he clung to Sonic like the blue hedgehog was the only thing keeping him stable.
“I-I’m only staying until the snow m-melts.” Shadow said. Knuckles could barely hear the words, as they were muffled by Sonic’s fur. “And then I’ll leave. I’ll- I’ll leave your whole town. None of you will h-have to see me ever again, I promise.”
Sonic gasped quietly. “Shadow, you don’t have to-“
“That won’t be necessary.” Knuckles said, walking over to the couch.
Sonic and Shadow both snapped their gazes to him. Sonic glared at him, still furious, even as he held Shadow in his arms. Shadow’s eyes were still filled with tears, and something else clouded his gaze when he realized Knuckles had been watching them for some time. He was looking at Knuckles the same way he sometimes looked at Tom and Maddie when they approached him too suddenly. It almost looked like… fear.
Shadow was afraid of him. Just a week ago, it would have filled the echidna with pride, to have cowed another warrior in such a way. Now, it only made him feel more ashamed.
“What do you want, Knuckles?” Sonic asked, his tone harsh. He kept his arms tight around Shadow, the embrace now protective.
Knuckles hesitated, then sighed as he took the last few steps into the living room. “I wanted to apologize to the more impressive hedgehog.”
Shadow’s eyes widened in surprise. “W-what?”
“I am sorry for my cruel words this morning.” Knuckles started. “I did not realize that by calling you a monster, I was not just insulting you, but also the tribe you lost. I was unaware of the pain you endured at the hands of our shared enemies. I swear to you that I will not allow such a mistake to happen again.”
Knuckles held out a hand. Shadow stared at it with suspicion, but after a moment of consideration, he placed his own hand over Knuckles’.
Suddenly, Knuckles pulled Shadow into an embrace, shocking both hedgehogs.
“Wha-?“ Shadow squeaked.
“You are a member of my tribe, now. I should have realized that sooner.” Knuckles said, hugging Shadow tight. “If it is because of me that you feel the need to leave, do not bother. You are a welcome addition to the tribe, and I will protect you as one of my own.”
Shadow went quiet, his whole body tense in Knuckles’ arms. Then, hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around the echidna, returning the embrace. “Thank you.” The small hedgehog whispered.
When they moved back, Knuckles placed a hand on Shadow’s shoulder. “But you should know, I will demand a rematch of our previous fight. Such a pathetic loss was a blight on my honor, and I plan to fix that.”
Sonic rolled his eyes, but he seemed more amused than angry now. “Wow, Knux. You couldn’t be nice for five minutes without demanding a fight?”
“I am a warrior at heart!” Knuckles chuckled. “It is not often there is a new warrior to challenge, and it is even rarer the new warrior bests me twice in a row!”
Shadow watched them bicker while wiping the tears off his muzzle. He seemed less upset now than he had been earlier. It was troubling to know that Knuckles had hurt Shadow so deeply without meaning to. He’d thought of Shadow as heartless, attacking his family without purpose, but it was clear to Knuckles now that he held much regret over his actions.
He understood why the others had forgiven him, and it was time he forgave Shadow as well.