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Raymond had been a name that, from the moment it had appeared on the skin above his heart in dark, cursive ink, had brought Leonard nothing but pain and misfortune. He was brought to hate the name. After all, that would make his soulmate a boy. What kind of man grows up to love another man? Not his father's son, that's for sure and boy did Lewis make sure he knew it.
The name appeared a month after his father had been released from prison. It was like adding an accelerator to the downward spiral his father had been on since. The day it appeared was the first time his father bruised his skin; all because of a name. It was a name that cost him the love of a father. He was disgusting, useless, undeserving of love. From that moment on, he was more careful about covering the name. He wore layers of clothes in attempt to prevent the smallest chance of the black ink slipping through.
However, no amount of carefulness could prevent the truth from coming out at the worst time, his first night in juvie. Before Mick had stepped in the kids who had jumped him spotted the name in their attack. Mick may have been able to prevent any physical abuse, but there was no guarding against the name calling and harsh comments. He was disgusting, diseased, the worst kind of human being. He had come to think of the name as a curse.
He avoided anyone with the name Raymond throughout his life. So when he found himself trapped on a spaceship, rushing through time to save the world, with a man sporting the name, he immediately distanced himself. Nothing good could ever come from someone with a name so cursed, especially this Raymond. He was naive, too innocent for his own good. He looked at the world with brightness in his eyes, not the cold stone of Leonard's. Snart hated him for it. Hated that this man had grown up not fearing the curse of a name. That he had grown up happy, while Leonard suffered at the slant of his name upon his skin. He hated the pull he felt when he saw this happiness in Palmer's face. It was jealousy, he told himself. Though, there was always this voice in the back of his mind, wondering if it could mean something more. He decided the best course of action would be to keep his distance through icy glares and sharp insults.
It was Russia that had brought out the truth. Mick had seen Raymond's mark, as well as everyone else in that gulag. ‘Leonard’ was written above his heart in black cursive, much like Snart's own mark. When back in their cell Mick had asked about it. Palmer had only let out a short wheezing laugh. "He's obviously not interested, so I'm trying not to be."
Leonard started to avoid the crew and their questioning glances in the weeks after their crash landing in 2046. Between the fight with Mick and the rumors now spreading through the ship, Snart had been determined to alienate himself. He didn't have to try too hard. Mick was avoiding him, Rip was held up in his office, and the rest of the crew were never ones to invade his space no matter how curious. Sara was the hardest to avoid. Within the second week, he had been cornered and forced to face her.
She slammed her hand into his shoulder, knocking him back into the wall and causing him to release a surprised grunt. "Alright, Snart. Spill."
Rubbing his shoulder, he responded with a glare. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, if you'll excuse me." He tried to force his way past her only to be slammed into the wall once again.
Her glare kept him there. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Why haven't you talked to Ray yet?"
"About what?" He drawled.
Sara didn't spare him any pity, laying out the harsh truth, "You two are soulmates. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about." It was the first time anyone had said it out loud, to him at least. He could only stare at her, frozen by the sharp edge her bluntness had jammed in his chest. After seconds of only staring at one another, she sighed. "Look. I know you've probably had to put up with a lot of shit for this, but you have to see this from his perspective. He grew up just wanting to meet you and all you've done is treat him like dirt."
Leonard let his head fall back against the wall, eyes closing as he contemplated this. "It's better this way."
"You can't honestly believe that." She stepped back out of his space once she determined he was actually going to talk about this.
He shrugged, rolling his head against the wall as he shook it. "What good could possibly come from that confrontation? If there is one thing I've learned it's that no good comes from this stupid soulmate thing."
Sara stared at him with something akin to sympathy. "You're not the only one who's gotten shit from a stupid soulmate mark. I can personally tell you it doesn't always end as badly as you think."
They pinned each other down with their stares then, both determined to get their point across. Snart not wanting to pursue a soul bond and Sara wanting him to at least talk to Ray. Sara eventually won, Leonard looking away with a weary sigh. "Fine. If it will get you off my case, I'll talk to him."
Nodding, Sara took another step back. "You better. I won't hesitate to put you on your ass if you don't." He didn't doubt her words.
He slid down the wall as she left him to his thoughts. Confronting Ray was definitely on the list of the least desired actions Snart wanted to take. Being left with no choice put a sour taste in his mouth. Grimacing around it, he started to work up the nerve to carry out Sara's order.
Leonard found Ray in the lab when he had finally gotten off the floor to look for him. He leaned heavily against the door frame, using it as support for the conversation ahead of him. "Figures you would be here of all places."
The man nearly jumped out of his seat at the suddenly spoken words. He turned to see Leonard and the tension in his body remained. "And why are you looking for me exactly?"
"I've been ordered to speak to you on threat of an ass kicking so here I am." His drawl was slower, proof this was a discussion he was unwilling to start.
Turning back around to face the counter, Ray replied, "Well you spoke to me. Obligation fulfilled."
Snart left his support in the doorway to move closer to the other man. "I'm pretty sure that just speaking isn't fulfilling my intended purpose."
"Which is?" He asked, still looking at the notes on the surface in front of him.
Now amused at how the other was just as unwilling as he, Leonard moved around the table to lean against the wall facing Ray. "To discuss the whole soulmate thing." He watched as the other man's shoulders tensed up even more at the declaration, giving it a moment to sink in. "I mean, you have my name after all."
"What of it?" He looked up at Snart to lash out with a firm glare. "It's not as if you care."
Crossing his arms Leonard replied calmly, "And if I do."
"If you did you would have done something by now." Ray shook his head with a disbelieving puff of air. "You usually just take what you want, Snart. Consequences be damned. So what difference does being soulmates make?"
There was truth behind his words. Leonard was a thief. He took what his heart desired whether there were laws against it or not. But this. He was thrown against this early on in life. The rules of this weren't just there, they were carved into his bones, beaten into his skin to the point acting against the soul bond wasn't just a rule. It was habit. It was a fact. "I don't expect you to understand, Raymond. Your life has been much different than mine."
A condescending snort came from Ray as he stood up from the chair and braced his hands against the table, leveling Snart with his gaze. "If you think you were the only kid pushed around and bullied because of this mark, you're wrong. I've heard it all, Snart. I've heard it's disgusting enough times I almost believed it."
He bristled against the accusation, pushing off the wall to cross the space between it and the table. "If you think that's where the pushing and shoving stopped for me you are wrong. The difference between you and I is that you 'almost' believed it."
Ray stood up straight, the fight leaving his eyes to be replaced with a softer look Leonard didn't particularly care to place. "I guess I didn't think about that."
"No you didn't." The care in Raymond's voice put him on edge and he lashed out with his words. "Not everyone grows up with such a rosy outlook on life, Raymond. Rosy isn't even close to how I see the world."
"I think I'm starting to get that."
"Good." He was done with this conversation. This exchange of feelings was more than he bargained for and was definitely more than he ever had planned on expressing. Leaving seemed like the best option in this situation.
He was stopped by Ray's hand grabbing his shoulder as he passed. "Listen. I get that we had different experiences. Or well... I get that now. But that doesn't exactly change the fact that we are soulmates."
"I know," Snart drawled as he pulled his shoulder free. "It's the one fact that we can seem to agree on."
Ray paused before responding. "Well can we also agree we should work this out? I mean, we can't just avoid each other forever. It is a pretty small ship after all."
"I suppose so."
"And I'm sure you can feel the pull between us, even if you've trained yourself to ignore it."
Once again, the man wasn't wrong. Leonard had to give him that at least. The pull had dulled to his senses but it was still there, throbbing in the back of his head to remind him he wasn't completely alone. Reminding him that there was another person he was meant to be with for eternity. "And if it is?"
"Well we should act on it." Ray shrugged. "It's there for a reason after all. Nothing too major of course. I mean it's not like we should just start making out or anything." He paused to chuckle nervously. "Just like bonding or something. Getting to know each other I guess?"
Leonard sighed, tired and fed up with this whole situation. "Look. Raymond. I can't promise anything."
"And that's perfectly fine." His excitement at the small leeway he had finally pulled from Snart showed plainly on his face. "I know it won't be easy but I just want to try."
Pausing, he weighed his options. He could brush Ray off, suffer the wrath of Sara and the rest of the pro-Ray team, and live his life out possibly alone, or he could give into Raymond, give into that pull, and possibly start something. On the one hand, loneliness wasn't so bad. He lived it his whole life. It was in his nature now. However, he was curious as to what could come from giving this a shot. "Fine."
Ray opened his mouth to argue some more before the word sunk in and he looked at him with his mouth agape. "Did... Did you just agree with me?"
Leonard smirked, amused by his reaction. "We can try this whole... bonding thing."
The grin he was given in response was bright and the hug he was then enveloped in was nearly crushing. Just as quickly as he had taken him in his arms, Ray released Leonard with a cough. "Of course. Bonding. Good that we agree then."
He took a moment to recover from the sudden embrace, looking anywhere but at Ray. He cleared his throat, "Now that that's dealt with, is there anything else you need to get off your chest, Raymond."
He smiled. "Only one." After a prompting lift of an eyebrow from Snart, he continued, "You should really start calling me Ray."
Leonard had never intended to call him by the shortened version of his name. Raymond was the name that had been carved into his mind and onto his skin for his entire lifetime. It was the name that he was cursed with, the name that caused him so much loss, and the name that was always paired with a feeling of disgust. Ray was something entirely different. It was new. It was easy.
He grinned back at Ray. "I think I can do that."