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Steve Rogers is use to surprises by now. He is a man who closed in eyes in the forties and woke up in the twenty first century. He had to adjust to new technology, new values and a new culture, practically. After moving into Avengers Tower with the rest of the team, he had to adjust even more to each person's quirks and habits. Each of them has them and each are more quirky then the last.
The oddest of the bunch is Tony, but only because he is most more open about his than the others are at times. And more closed about other ones then even Natasha is, at others. The man is a puzzle inside a conundrum inside a mystery.
But the point is Steve is use to surprises. So when he walks into the kitchen after his run and sees two strangers sitting that the table, drinking... tea? ...he doesn't do much more than blink. They obviously aren't a threat or JARVIS would have alerted them long before this.
“Captain Rogers,” the more friendly looking one greets him with a relaxed salute. He has sandy blonde hair and an open face. He is more compact than his lanky friend, but he screams military.
He salutes back. “Hello.”
“Please John,” the other man says, “the two of you are the same rank.”
“But he was regular army, not an army doctor. And it's not about rank, Sherlock, it's about respect. You know, respect? That thing you regularly ignore and insult everyone within range instead?” The words would sound harsh if not for the amusement edging them.
“Dull, boring, my way is much quicker.”
“And the fact that it has gotten you hospitalized does nothing to deter you, I know. I'm the one who has to stitch you up remember?”
“Humph,” the curly haired man crosses his arms. “Only because you have turned into a mother hen.”
“Well if someone didn't get themselves into so much trouble, I wouldn't have to mother you, would I?”
“I believe it is a 'daddy kink' and not a mummy one.”
The soldier – John – drops his head to the table. “Sherlock,” he moans, “one of these days I really am going to gag you when we go out.”
“Another kink. Really John and you lecture me about being appropriate in public.”
John lets out another exasperated sigh and turns to Steve. “My apologizes, but there's no stopping him.”
“No worries,” Natasha assures him, coming out of nowhere, “We have our own we would like to gag. Natasha Romanov,” she introduces.
“John Watson and my partner Sherlock Holmes,” John replies, shaking her hand.
As he does, the rest of the team files in, looking curiously at the two. Well, almost all of them. Thor isn't on the planet at the moment and Tony is still missing. Not that this is a surprise to anyone who knows the man.
John smiles and adds, “Tony I assume? My condolences. Managing one is bad, I can't imagine what this week is going to be like with both of them together. The only blessing is that Mycroft isn't with us.”
“Because Mycroft is too busy telling the government the right way to breath to come,” Sherlock says.
“Be happy he is. You don't want him here anyways.”
“Nosy git.”
“That's a good one, coming from you.”
The Avengers look at them blankly. “And you don't know. Alright. Annoying, but not surprising. We are here to visit Tony for the week. Or until they destroy the Tower, whichever comes first,” John informs them.
“Oh my god no,” Clint says in horror.
Everyone else turns towards him. “No, no, no. This is going to be a nightmare.”
Sherlock smiles. “Hello Agent Barton. What a lovely thing to meet you again. I apologize once again for the trauma my brother dearest caused you. But there are no cases that will need your assistance for this time.”
Clint shudders at his pleasant tone.
“Do I want to know?” John draws warily.
“No,” Clint answers and Sherlock says, “It was merely a blackmailing problem SHIELD needed my brother's and my help with before we met. Nothing serious. The whole matter was rather boring and I could have gotten it done much faster if Mycroft hadn't insisted on butting his nose in at the least opportune time. Agent Barton, unfortunately, got the most exposure to this little slip up.”
The others look at him. “Never again man. Never again.”
John smiles soothingly at him. “This is just a social visit, I promise. Not that those haven't turned into a case before, but the plan is for Sherlock to stay out of trouble. Right Sherlock?”
Sherlock waves him off. “Yes, yes, I remember the rules John.”
“Good. Now if only you would follow them.”
Sherlock smirks.
The rest of the team sits down at the table with them. Steve begins breakfast as the team talks the two newcomers. Or rather, they talked to John and Sherlock interjected comments every so often, electing to play with his tablet instead.
Once the food is set on the table, everyone fills their plates. John makes both his and Sherlock's. “Eat,” he orders.
“But John–“
“No. You aren't on a case. You haven't eaten in two days. You are eating. Now.”
Sherlock sighs a long suffering sigh as various members of the team snicker.
“Who wants to drag Tony out of the workshop?” Steve asks.
“JARVIS,” Sherlock says in answer. “Tell Ant to get up here and eat. If I am forced to then so is he.”
“Right away sir,” JARVIS says.
Sherlock rolls his eyes at the team's questioning looks. “Of course I know JARVIS. One cannot be friends with Ant and not know JARVIS.”
“ 'Ant'?” Bruce asks, amused.
Sherlock smirks. “Ant.”
Not long after that there is a cry of “Lock!” and Tony runs over, awkwardly hugging the man over his chair. “Lock!” Tony repeats, “When did you get here? You weren't suppose to be here till Thursday.”
“It is Thursday,” Natasha tells him.
“It is? Since when?”
“Midnight today.”
“Oh.” Tony leans against Sherlock's seat. Then, “Coffee,” he mutters and goes to pour himself a cup. After he chugs his first two, he pours himself a third and sits beside Sherlock. “Hello John,” he greets. John snorts. “Hello Tony. Enough coffee?”
“Enough tea?” he counters.
“At least my drink is actually healthy. I'm surprised your blood hasn't turned into coffee by now.”
“Really John, aren't you suppose to be a doctor? Stop exaggerating.”
“If anyone can manage it, you can. I wouldn't put it past you to try.”
Tony smirks and takes another slip before helping himself to the food.
“How did you meet?” Steve asks, noting the familiarity between the three of them.
“Lock is a childhood friend. We spent our summers together until I went to MIT. And I was introduced to John after they started dating,” Tony answers.
Bruce chuckles. “That would explain it,” he says as Clint looks even more horrified. “Oh god, you spent your summer with the Holmes brothers?!”
“Yes. It was much better after Lock was born. My was insufferable, even then.”
John snorts and then starts laughing. “Sorry,” he manages, “sorry, just, the Christmas dinners.”
Clint covers his face with his hands. “Why? Why do you put these images in my head?!”
Everyone else looks amused at his reaction. “What did the man do to you?” Bruce asks.
“No. Nope. I refuse to say. Never again.”
Natasha pats him on the back. “And Fury will never ask you to again.”
Sherlock and Tony smirk. “Maybe he should again. Might solve our problem,” Sherlock speculates idly.
“Hmmm, excellent point. If we manage to set Coulson on him, then we can hardly be blamed for it, can we? Just helping a brother out.”
“Wait, what? What am I missing?” Steve asks, clearly confused.
“Coulson and Clint are dating.”
“I know that, what does that have to do– oh,” Steve abruptly stops as he gets it. “You had to pretend to date Mycroft?”
“I had to pretend to date both of them,” Clint answers, head still buried in his hands. “Never. Again,” he repeats, voice firm and traumatized.
John shutters. “I apologize for anything that happen. I completely understand.”
Sherlock gives him an offended look.
“Oh don't give me that look. You know I love you more than anything. But not even I would pretend to date your brother. Especially not when I'm already dating you. The two of you can't even be in the same room together without fighting. I can't see a case changing that.”
Sherlock wraps an arm possessively around John. “Mycroft will never touch you.”
“My point exactly. Nightmare.”
“Wait. Your dating him? Voluntarily?” Clint asks.
“Yes.”
“As in, of your own free will?”
“Yes. Actually he just proposed last month. We're getting married in August.”
Clint looks blankly at him before getting up. “That's it. I'm done. I'm so done,” He gets up and walks out of the kitchen. “Nice meeting you John. Good luck. I'm going to go bleach my brain. Again.”
Tony smirks, a look of pure mischief in his eyes. “What do you think he would do if he knew we were half brothers?”
A shriek comes from the hallway.