Chapter Text
Weak wasn’t what Hyun-tak would use to describe himself.
Unlike traditional omegas, with his tall build, lean muscles, and Taekwondo skills as well as a foul mouth, Hyun-tak was more than strong enough to fight back persistent alphas that just wouldn’t leave him alone. That and the fact that Baku was always next to him. The big alpha scares off anyone who merely thought of Hyun-tak the wrong way.
Contrary to popular belief (disgusting rumors that weren’t brave enough to appear in front of Hyun-tak’s face instead of his back), Hyun-tak is not attracted to Baku, and he can confidently say the lack of romantic feelings is the same for Baku himself. Baku acts more like a too protective big brother most of the time, his possessiveness wraps Hyun-tak in a warm and protected feeling, certainly not romantic love, but love nonetheless. Not to mention the fact that Baku’s earthy scent never really attracted Hyun-tak. It felt safe, but that wasn’t love, Hyun-tak always knew it.
So, for both Hyun-tak’s own strength and Baku’s protection, he never felt truly weak or defeated before. He had a future, a bright one in front of him, with scholarships and opportunities to the professional path. He could confidently defend himself against stupid alpha assholes that just didn’t know when to stop, especially those Union assholes. The ones that couldn’t even dream of touching a corner of Baku’s jacket, but were certain they could take down Hyun-tak. Ridiculous.
To be honest, Hyun-tak used to love entertaining those fools, he had a perfect space to anchor all his anger and frustration to, which was those bastards’ faces. He never started the fights first, of course, it was always those disgustingly scented alphas that waited for Hyun-tak in dark corners, readied to jump him. Hyun-tak fought back, like always.
Until that night.
Hyun-tak tried to tuck himself in his hoodie even more, and put his hands in the pockets as he walked home from practice. His phone read 9 P.M. – the omega stayed behind and stubbornly tried to perfect his kicks with a body that felt too foreign. His mom was certainly going to scold him for overworking himself again. That night, Hyun-tak didn’t feel right in any of his kicks. It felt like his body wasn’t his, like it was warning him of something. That something turned out to be the walking nightmare of his life - Keum fucking Seong-je. The nightmare that happened to cornered Hyun-tak in that dark alley after his Taekwondo practice with his mocking smirk and hooded eyes,
“Look who we got here”, Seong-je said to his minions, “Baku’s little pup.”
He snickered like the sick bastard he was, still is.
“Get the fuck out of my way”, Hyun-tak tried not to let the fear drip into his words, scent patches tight on his glands.
“Aw don’t be shy, play with us”, again with the snicker, “I want to know how fun Baku’s lacky is.”
Hyun-tak didn’t, couldn’t hesitate when the first punch from Seong-je’s minion flew towards him. Dodge, kick, dodge, kick, again and again. He kicked one of them in the stomach, then kicked another asshole in his ugly face. Or was it the same asshole, Hyun-tak couldn’t tell. Gradually, everything around the omega got blurry, his fatigue from practice must have gotten to him. Hyun-tak barely dodged a punch, only to be kicked in the head from behind. The adrenaline or something in Hyun-tak didn’t care, didn’t care that he could barely stand, didn’t care that his legs and body felt wrong, like they weren’t his anymore.
Hyun-tak got up, like he always did. Because he was strong, with Baku or not. He felt eyes on him, hooded eyes that seemed to brighten little by little with how pathetic Hyun-tak was fighting back.
In that alley, that dark, wet alley, with punches flying towards him, and the only thing Hyun-tak thought of besides kicking and dodging was how he wanted those eyes to look at him more, to look at him only. Was the alpha watching closely, was he entertained, is Hyun-tak good enough for Seong-je to play with? Thoughts that for a moment startled Hyun-tak so bad he felt chills running down his spine. Losing focus, Hyun-tak couldn’t dodge the hard punch aimed at his face, the omega stumbled back pathetically.
And then, both terrifying and exhilarating, Seong-je leaned closer to him.
“It was so fun, watching you fall and get back up again little pup.”
He wore that annoying smirk like always, but all Hyun-tak could think of was how good Seong-je smelled. Dark, woody, like a storm. The strong sense messed with the omega’s brain, making him lose his senses even more than he was at that time. He took a deep breath, inhaled. Ah, fuck. Why the fuck was Hyun-tak feeling this way, about fucking Keum Seong-je? His spinning head was certainly playing tricks with him, yeah, Hyun-tak must have taken too many punches. That was definitely the reason why he found the alpha’s dizzying sense and piercing gaze affecting him so much.
“Hey, focus on me”, two fingers snapped in front of Hyun-tak’s face. “It’s boring if you don’t fight back, omega.”
Hyun-tak’s whole body shuddered at the alpha’s tone, which urged him even more to kick Seong-je hard in the ribs (because what the actual fuck was that about), well, tried to kick at least. Seong-je caught his ankle, threw him down like it’s nothing, like Hyun-tak is nothing. A kick to his right knee – which already felt too heavy since his practice ended, another punch to his ribs, Hyun-tak can feel the blood in his mouth. Seong-je looked bored then, disappointed. Which made Hyun-tak even more furious. Who the fuck does Keum Seong-je thinks he is.
Seong-je grabbed his collar, trapped him against a nearby wall, and stared straight into his eyes. Hyun-tak really did try not to let his fear show, even he himself believed that mask for a second. Seong-je, for some reason, didn’t fall for it.
“That’s right, you should be scared. I like you better that way”, he started to smile then, that full teeth and fangs, disturbing smile.
Hyun-tak’s knee shot up, Seong-je caught it easily. And continued to snicker, looking down at the omega like he was merely a toy, a fun little thing to destroy, like he was weak. And for some reasons that Hyun-tak couldn’t comprehend then, the omega hated that look, hated being unimportant to Seong-je, hated not smelling that dark, stormy scent again, and hated himself for being disappointing, for being weak.
He also hated himself for feeling like he disappointed someone important, like he wasn’t good enough for… For who? Fucking Geom Seong-je? Fuck, that concussion was really messing with Hyun-tak’s brain, he got momently scared for permanent damage.
Seong-je laughed loudly then, snapping Hyun-tak out of his thoughts. It angered Hyun-tak so much that he used the last of his energy to lean back and snapped his head as hard as possible to the alpha’s forehead, disorientating both of them. In the distance, Hyun-tak could hear Seong-je’s laugh again, and why the fuck was the omega proud of that. Proud of gaining his attention, his interest again.
“I love it when the dog fights back, just my style”, the words taunted Hyun-tak’s messy brain.
A hook to the jaw, others in his face, several punches to the ribs, an easy sweep, and there Hyun-tak was, on the ground of that filthy alley, unable to move or to defend himself anymore. His right eye was so swollen he couldn’t see anything clearly. His knee, oh God his knee, he couldn’t feel his leg at all. The practice, their punches and kicks, Hyun-tak’s own effort of defending himself, it was obvious his leg gave out right there and then.
A punch in the face snapped Hyun-tak out of his daze.
“Fuck, this is getting bored now. What, this is all you got you useless piece of shit?”
The alpha above him mocked loudly, which echoed in Hyun-tak’s brain all over again, like a tape on loop.
Another punch. “Fucking weak, you’re weak Gotak-ah”.
Was that still mockery, or frustration Hyun-tak heard, he wasn’t sure. All the omega did at that time was to focus on not passing out entirely. Seong-je clicked his tongue.
“This shit is not fun anymore”, he sighed disapprovingly whereas Hyun-tak’s brain was replaying all of the alpha’s words again and again.
Weak, weak, weak
“Poor pup, your alpha won’t make it in time. Should have stayed away from fucking Baku’, Seong-je smirked.
Hyun-tak wanted to cry thinking about Baku. Baku, who is warm and stable like the earth, who got Hyun-tak’s back and is endearing in his own ways. Baku, who will blame himself forever, seeing Hyun-tak like this.
Seong-je stood from where he was sitting on top of Hyun-tak, pulled him by the collar an threw him hard against the wet and filthy wall once more. And then, Hyun-tak saw him, Na Baekjin. Na Baekjin who was once both Baku’s and Hyun-tak’s friend, who got blinded by ugly, unnamed feelings. Na Baekjin who changed.
“You should have stayed away from Baku, Go Hyun-tak”, he spoke, no feelings behind those sharp eyes. “Then I wouldn’t have to go this far”
Then he stepped on Hyun-tak’s knee. Again, and again.
The sound of bone cracking, his own screams, and tears. Hyun-tak can never forget them, appearing in his nightmares even now. Baekjin didn’t stop, even after his bones could be seen, even when there was enough blood to paint the entire alley red.
Weak. Hyun-tak was weak, Hyun-tak is still weak, and will always be weak.
The most haunting part of that fateful night wasn’t Hyun-tak’s shattered dream and opportunities. It wasn’t the pain of surgery, recovery and countless physiotherapy sessions, nor the fact that Hyun-tak had to learn how to use his limbs all over again.
What haunts Hyun-tak’s nightmares was, confusingly, the eyes, his eyes. Keum Seong-je was looking at Hyun-tak the entire time. Mocking and angry. Angry at what, Hyun-tak didn’t know. What he did know, was the scent. The scent that clings to Hyun-tak's dreams and thoughts every once in a while. The woody, stormy, and dark scent that he smelled once and got addicted to. Even if that scent belongs to the person he was supposed to hate.
They left Hyun-tak there, in the dark and filthy alley. Hyun-tak thought about his destroyed potential, about Baku and the sadness he tried to hide most of the time, about his mom who was waiting for her son to come home with warm food and love. And what made Hyun-tak want to either cry or throw up, or both, the most was Keum Seong-je and his cruel, piercing eyes, not knowing the latter turned and looked back one last time before trudging away, shaking his head in disappointment, and probably something else.
Baku arrived not much after. Carried Hyun-tak on his back while the omega fought the urge to just pass out and fucking sleep, maybe when he wakes up, he would realize everything was just a horrible, cruel nightmare. His eyes couldn’t focus, his ears were ringing, he couldn’t feel his leg anymore. In the distance, the omega heard Baku screaming his name. And he heard those words again.
Weak. Useless. Nothing.
Hyun-tak didn’t get it then, he understood himself only after, with the sounds of various machines in his ears, staring up at the hospital ceiling, pretending everything was fine for both his mother’s and Hu-min’s sakes. Go Hyun-tak and his stupid, useless, and oh so weak fucking instincts decided then that Geom Seong-je, his personal living nightmare, matches with Go Hyun-tak. His scent, his eyes, his gaze, even his fucking smirks and disturbing smiles was seen in a different perspective for Go Hyun-tak. He couldn’t, and still cannot, differentiate hate and love for Geom Seong-je. His mind told him to hate, to kill, to make Seong-je disappear. His heart, his fucking body told him to hold onto the devil.
Hyun-tak was supposed to hate him, to hate all the assholes that ruined him in the most horrible way. It felt like betrayal to Hu-min, to his mother, and to himself. Hyun-tak felt disgusting in his own body, he wished to crawl out of his own skin. And all he could do at that time was to continue staring at the white ceiling, with machine sounds in his ears and the smell of disinfectant in his nose. The feelings faded through time, but never gone, they are there, lurking behind Hyun-tak’s skin like those piercing eyes that followed him.
That night, Go Hyun-tak accepted that he was weak. A victim of his own instincts.
He was fucked, hook, line and sinker.