Chapter Text
A simple room with butter yellow walls. Bookshelves line one of the walls, decorated with little knick knacks. Figurines, shiny trinkets, and glass ornaments in the shape of various birds. A single window lets in light and in the center of the room is a seating arrangement. One couch, two lounge chairs, and a coffee table.
I am Aster the Mouse, and I am the authorial god of this world and as such, I will use this space to discuss my stories by taking a sledgehammer to this fourth wall. With sledgehammer in hand, I drag it across the floor and stare down the wall. I struggle to lift the hammer and ultimately give up. This is too Chaos damn heavy, I can’t use this.
The room bursts with green light and a crew of Shadow the Hedgehog’s appear behind me.
“What the hell are you doing?” one comments.
“Oh great, it’s the author.” Another grumbles.
I turn to face them and let the sledgehammer handle drop to the ground. For the sake of clarity, I will name each one after the story they are from.
Forces, from Forces Beyond our Control leans against the wall beside the window, arms crossed, “Why did we get dragged here?”
Spirit, from Spirit of the Season is combing through the book case, “I think the author wants to chat with us.”
“No shit Sherlock.” Forces rolls his eyes, “I was implying that this is stupid and pointless.”
Grey Fur, from well, Grey Fur, slumps over on the couch, “Hey, where is Service Bell?”
“Oh, he died.” I rock on my toes.
“Lucky bastard.” Black-Gold (Story pulled for rewrite) hides in the corner.
Devour hops up on the couch on all fours and circles a few time before curling up, “Why did he get to die?”
“Because he was sick.” I sit down on one of the lounge chairs.
“I liked that guy.” Spirit finds the book he was looking for and picks a spot across from me.
“You realize that doing this meta thing isn’t going to gather any attention.” Forces jabs, “This is entirely self-indulgent.”
His words get under my skin, “Let me have my fun.”
“Yeah, fun.” Forces grumbles, “Like it’s any fun for us.”
Black-Gold growls from the corner, “I don’t like this one bit. Why do I have to be here? You pulled my story.”
“Because I like your story and I still want to tell it at some point.” I turn my head to him.
“I’m probably the only one here that’s enjoying themselves,” Spirit looks up from his book.
“Your story was my first and only fluff piece. I think we are still missing a few Shadow’s though.” I look around a bit.
“I think Stars is still hungover and Shadow Work doesn’t exist anymore because he integrated with Sonic.” Forces chimes in.
“Oh, true. But I wouldn’t say Shadow Work doesn’t exist. He’s just in Sonic’s head. He always was.” I comment.
“What?!” Forces looks over at Black-Gold. The unhinged hedgehog in the corner hisses and slinks back trying to hide.
“The fuck is his problem?” Forces gestures at Black-Gold.
“He killed Sonic and now he can’t live with the guilt. Now he’s resentful of all of you because you are all him.” I explain.
Ruby eyes glare at all of us from the darkened corner.
“You call that bad?” Devour pokes his head up from his attempted nap, “I have been trying not to eat Sonic for weeks now and that blue bastard keeps tempting me back into doing so. That guy’s got problems.”
I fold my arms, “You caused them.”
“You made me do it.” His eyes dart at me.
“Are we just ignoring the fact that one of us is dead?” Spirit attempts to bring the conversation back.
“That’s impossible. Shadow’s don’t die.” Says Devour.
Grey Fur raises a brow and gestures to his fading colors, “Clearly, this author has the intent to end us, one way or another. I am just waiting for it to be my turn.”
“I don’t even know what I am doing with your story.” I slink forward to look at Grey Fur, “Your story was supposed to be An Ancient Shadow and I just haven’t settled on a plot.”
“So you saddle me with Silver and can’t come up with a clear plot?” Grey jabs back.
“I do care about your story, it’s just something I haven’t figured out. I’m sure you can have some patients.” I say.
“I am over a thousand years old, and you expect me to be patient.” The old man groans.
“I think all of us have one thing in common,” The voice comes from the red eyes in the corner, “We all want to die.”
“It’s just a case of wanting what we can’t have.” Spirit throws in, “I dread the day that I have to live without Amy. That’s a major reason I didn’t want to be in a relationship.”
“Oh, don’t fucking remind me.” Forces turns his head towards the window, “That’s what I am going to have to go through some day with Sonic.”
Grey Fur’s eyes twitch, “Over nine hundred years, blue ass son of a bitch.” He stares at the ground, his eyes going distant.
“I want the fuck out of here.” Black-Gold digs his claws into his arms.
Devour clambers over the couch to look at Black-Gold, “Get over yourself.”
“Who the fuck are you to tell me to get over myself?!” Black bares his fangs and lunges forward.
“You aren’t the only one with Sonic’s blood on your hands.” Devour’s eyes glaze over, a hungry look flickers behind them.
“You are a disgusting cannibal. At least what I had to do was necessary.” Black gets up on his feet and points a claw.
“I’m not afraid of you.” Devour hisses back.
“Both of you need to get the fuck over yourselves, I swear to Chaos!” Forces steps forward.
“Oh, do you think you're better than us because you have a healthy relationship with Sonic?” Devour stands on the couch.
Grey Fur takes no notice of the rising conflict and continues staring at the floor.
“Children, all of you!” Spirit puts his book on the arm of the chair.
“I carried the weight of my actions on my back and did everything in my power to fix them. If anyone in here is mature it’s me.”
“Ha, mature.” Devour scoffs.
“Oh wait! We are missing someone!” I snap my fingers. Another green light flashes and another Shadow appears.
He whips his head around with wild eyes, “Where the fuck am I?”
“Gentlemen, this is Arcadia.” I gesture both hands at the new Shadow in the room.
“I was in a pink world and now I am here?” Arcadia runs his hands over his body, “This nightmare doesn’t end. What the hell is going on? What is real?”
I laugh, “Enjoying your existential spiral?”
Arcadia looks like he’s on the verge of a meltdown, “You’re the Chaos damn author, aren’t you.”
“Yep!” I beam.
“She’s a sick fuck.” Devour curls back up on the couch.
“Do I really curse this much in your other stories?” Spirit asks me.
“Yes, but your story is all wholesome fluff.” I tell him.
“I feel so out of place.” Spirit looks around at the many rough shaped Shadow’s around him, “It was so much better when Service Bell was here.”
“I got plans for Service Bell. I’m considering making a prequel.”
Grey Fur snaps out of his daydream, “He is the only one of us who’s gotten to die and you want to dig him back up for another story?”
Arcadia throws himself on the floor, “Dear Chaos, I can’t take it here. Nothing makes sense.”
Black-Gold stares at him and blinks, “Join me in the darkness, my existentially suffering friend.”
“You’re creepy.” Arcadia looks up at him.
Devour pokes his head over the back of the couch, “If anyone is creepy it’s me. I am not going to deny that.”
“Can you just get this over with and let me die?” Grey Fur eyes me.
“It’s just a room full of suicidal me’s.” Spirit holds his head in his hand, “I don’t know what to make of this.”
“Shadow the Hedgehog provides the perfect dumping ground for all flavors of trauma.” I explain
“You are not a merciful god.” Forces glairs at me.
“Don’t look at me, I am just doing what everyone else is doing.” I shrug.
“You couldn’t just kill Service Bell, you had to torture him for three months first. And he cried like a little bitch before he finally kicked the bucket.” Forces shakes his head.
Arcadia is curled in the fetal position just a few feet away from Black-Gold who is watching him intently. Devour has lost all interest in the conversation and curls up in a ball. Spirit returns to his book. Grey Fur has fallen asleep.
“Is that it?” Forces looks over the group of Shadow’s, “Can we go now?”
“Why did you drag me into this?” Arcadia’s voice cracks with distress.
“I want to rip my own skin off.” Black-Gold mumbles.
Forces sighs, “See, this was a stupid and pointless as I predicted. Are you happy with yourself?”
I lean back in my chair and tap my fingers together, “I guess so. I never did say the one thing I wanted to tell all of you.”
Spirit looks up from his book, “And what’s that?”
“Happy Birthday!” I bounce in my seat.
All the Shadow’s look at me. Forces throws he head back, “Really? Is that why you wanted all of us here?”
“I don’t give a shit about my birthday,” Devour grumbles.
“It’s just a reminder that I am still alive.” Black-Gold slides further back into his corner.
“Yippy, another year over a thousand years old. Just fucking kill me already.” Grey Fur barely opens his eyes.
“I don’t understand time anymore.” Arcadia mumbles.
“Amy’s probably got something planned for me,” Spirit gives a half smile.
“Can we leave now?” Forces moans, beating the back of his head against the wall.
I sigh, “Yes, if you are all ready to return to your respective stories you can go.”
“Thank you!” Forces throws his arms.
In a flash of green all of the Shadow’s disappear.
“Dang, I was really hoping that some of them would fight. That would have been interesting to see. Oh well, maybe next time.”