Chapter Text
It started when Bucky heard a shout from the living room.
He was in the kitchen putting together, what was supposed to be, snack plates for Ava and John. When he actually took a moment to look at the plates, it was far from ever being called aesthetically pleasing.
Though that didn’t matter it was food, and when you had not only two Littles to feed but one with the appetite to beat the whole team, food was food; aesthetically pleasing or not.
An ear piercing shout broke his train of thought. He sighed and started his way towards the living room to see what had happened in the 10 minutes he left them alone. Rounding the corner, it seems someone already had beaten Bucky to the source of the shout and subsequent crying. Yelena knelt in front of a crying Ava, the little girl sat on the floor crying her heart out. Bucky scanned the girl and her surrounding but couldn’t find anything that would be the cause of her distress. That only left one person who could’ve made the girl cry. The person in question was right next to her. There stood a pouting Walker.
He walked over to Yelena who was consoling the little girl,
“What happened?”
Yelena sighed looking over her shoulder at Bucky, “Apparently Ava and John got into an argument over the rules of the game they were playing. The argument didn’t end so good and plop, John pushed Ava”
John’s face soured even more. Bucky leaned down to Ava, the girl’s cries quieting down to sniffles,
“Are you okay, honey?” Bucky asked Ava
She wiped her eyes, sniffling, “J..Johnny pushed me!”
“He already heard that!” John snapped, “You don’t need to shout it again!”
Ava yelled back, “I was just telling him!”
“Woah woah” Yelena got in between the two of them, “There’s no need for you two to be shouting”
“But-!” John started up again, but before the boy could get any words in Bucky interrupted,
“I don’t want to hear excuses, John, no matter what happened you can’t knock Ava to the ground.”
John looked down, face growing hot with embarrassment and anger. They didn’t get it, John thought. Ava was the one who wasn’t listening to him even though he said please! Just like Bubba and ‘Lena taught him to. She wasn’t being nice and she kept making him so mad! He shouldn’t be the one getting in trouble!
Yelena helped Ava to her feet, giving Bucky a look then pointing her eyes to John. A silent message ‘do you want to deal with him?’. Bucky grimaced, he didn’t like putting his foot down but more often than not John didn’t listen to anyone but him. He nodded towards Yelena in confirmation that he would handle the boy.
“I think you both need some space,” Yelena said looking between both Ava and John, “Ava and me are going to the kitchen to talk.”
Ava perked up, taking Yelena’s hand as they walked out of the living room, “Snack?” She asked
“Let’s go see what Bucky was scrounging up” Yelena responded, as the two disappeared from view.
Bucky turned his attention back to John and continued, in that stupid tone John hated, “John, you’re older than Ava and if you were getting upset you should’ve come and gotten me or ‘Lena to help calm down”
John stood quiet too angry to speak. Bucky didn’t get it! He thought bitterly, Ava was making him upset on purpose, John’s expression souring the more Bucky talked. He was so- he was so mad!!
“With that being said, you know the rules, we don’t take hurting family members lightly. You’re going to go sit down over there,” Bucky pointed towards the corner of the living room; in the corner was a chair they used for time-outs, or what Bucky called the ‘cool-down’ chair. John hated that chair he wasn’t a 5-year-old and he didn’t need to calm down “and take a breather before we talk about what happened more.” Bucky clearly seeing the boy shaking with anger.
John could feel his lip start to wobble, anger clashing with guilt and frustration.
Bucky continued grabbing John’s hand as he led John, who was reluctantly allowing it, over to the chair. “I know you’re mad, so let’s go cool down.”
John stopped cold in his tracks when they stepped in front of the chair, “No! No Bubba!!”
Bucky gently pulling John over to the chair. John resisted with all the might of a bunny being caught. In resistance John hit Bucky’s arms to release him, (“Ow-!”) and yelling at the top of his lungs, “I don’t needa calm down time! Bubba no!! I don’t need it! I’m calm!!”
Bucky grabbed John’s wrist as he was about to hit him again. John let his body fall on the ground out of frustration, sobbing his eyes out.
Bucky sighed. Looking down at the boy, he knew John lost his temper quite often and that could lead to explosive behavior. It was something they were still trying to work through alongside his therapist. But the boy needed structure, a clear understanding of what was right and wrong and what happened when you broke a rule. John also desperately needed to take a breather.
Bucky knelt in front of the boy, “You’re calm?”
“Yes!! I’m calm! I don’t needa breather” The boy cried out, sucking in air after almost every word.
“John.” Bucky lifted John’s chin, forcing the boy to meet his eyes. He wiped away the boys tears softly before continuing, “Breathe with me, kiddo”. Bucky drew in air slowly and exaggerated. John resisted at first, trying to turn his face out of Bucky’s soft grip, but eventually started to follow Bucky’s example.
“Good job, buddy” Bucky praised seeing John’s breathing finally evening out, “Good job at following me”. John nodded weakly, wiping his eyes where tears couldn’t stop leaking.
Helping him to his feet, Bucky was able to get John to sit down in the chair facing the wall. Kneeling besides the chair, Bucky met John’s eyes, “You’re going to sit here for 20 minutes,” John started at hearing the time but Bucky continued, “and think about what you did and what you could’ve done to avoided what happened. The girls and I will be in the kitchen, I’ll come and get you when times up.”
Bucky got up, ruffled the boys hair softly and left the room.
John’s breathing started to pick up once Bucky left the room. Pitiful sobs racked his body as John tried to calm himself. In…1…2…3…4…Out…1…2…3…4…John followed Bucky’s instructions, the one he taught him whenever his emotions became too big. His loud sobs turning into soft crying.
Bubba said to think about what he coulda done differently, John thought sorrowfully.
--
Ava and him were playing cops and robbers. He was the cop, obviously, and Ava was the robber.
“You,” John stated matter of factly, “You can’t phase either Ava.”
Ava whined, not happy at all about the rule, “Why not?”
“Because it’s cheating! I can’t phase and I can’t catch you if I can’t even touch you”
She glared at him in response and John took it as Ava’s agreement.
They started the game with no hitches. John stood on his side of the living room, an invisible line was already established down the middle of the room. He was defending his item, a toy robot they found at the bottom of their play box. Ava stood on her side ready to go,
“And,” John said drawing out the word before yelling, “start!”
Ava walked up to the invisible line and John goaded her into coming over and try to take the toy. Ava refused at first and was seemingly trying to distract John to make her move. But just as John was about to start complaining he was getting bored Ava dashed forward, running towards the open spaces on the left side of John. He swiveled, running after her, he stretched his hand out, close enough to tag her on the back, and his hand met air.
Ava phased back, standing in the safe square with the toy robot triumphantly in her hand.
John ran over to her, he couldn’t believe it, “Ava! You can’t do that! It’s against the rules.”
She just stood there smiling mischievously, “I have the robot” her tone teasing, holding a bone in front of a dog he couldn’t get.
“You shouldn’t. I had you, Ava! You can’t phase, you agreed to that.”
“No I didn’t.” Ava giggled, “I never said anything”
Ava dodged a fuming John as she ran across the room, phasing to her side hearing John chase her.
“I win!” She said holding the robot up in the air.
“Ava!” John was getting mad, Ava cheated! “You cheated, that wasn’t fair!!”
“Was too!”
“Was not!” John stepped closer to Ava, getting angry the more Ava denied it.
“Was too!” Her voice picking up a sing-songy tone infuriating John even more.
“Was not!”
“Was too! You’re just upset that I won!”
John tried to stay clam, he tried counting like Bubba and Lena taught him to, and he tried to explain to Ava that she cheated. Why was she bragging about cheating? She’s trying to make him mad! The thought of Ava intentionally not following the rules of the game to make him mad, sent him over the edge and he shoved her, with enough force the girl fell backwards on the ground.
Before he could process what he’d done, Ava’s yelp as she fell already had Yelena running into the room to diffuse the situation. Ava’s crying and John yelling trying to tell Yelena what happened mixed together that Yelena didn’t listen to him. No, she ignored him, told him to stop talking, and asked Ava instead.
Bubba’s wrong, John thought wiping the rest of the tears away. Looking back did help calm him down but it also just reinforced the fact he wasn’t wrong. Why does Ava get to go have a snack and he has to sit in the calm down chair? Ava should be in trouble, not him. She’s the one who didn’t listen to the rules of the game and made him so so so mad on purpose!
——
Ava held Yelena’s hand as she led her to the kitchen. Falling backwards so suddenly had scared the girl, Yelena had calmed her down but Ava was still sniffling softly.
“You’re alright, Милый,” Yelena led the girl to the table, “stay here I’m going to go grab you something to drink and eat”
“…Kay” Ava responded softly
Yelena could hear faintly Bucky and John’s conversation and winced when John’s sobbing could be heard in the next room. Yelena made quick work in grabbing Ava’s sippy cup and bringing back with her to the table Bucky’s abandoned snack plates he was making.
“Here you go,” Yelena sat in the chair right next to Ava. Ava picked at her snack, hungry but not with the relaxed ease she usually had when regressed, “Do you feel better?”
Ava nodded slowly, she could hear John’s crying from here. Her stomach twisted in ways that made her feel icky.
She didn’t mean to get John in trouble, she was just annoyed he didn’t want her to phase during the game. She knew to an extent that John would get mad, ‘Lena and Bubba always told her that ‘Johnny just felt a lot more than other people’. This wasn’t the first time she’s done something to make him mad on purpose. Ava’s done it a handful of time before, during dinner or when they were coloring together, Ava would ‘poke’ the bear.
John would get really mad but Bubba or ‘Lena would appease the situation before it escalated. Only once or twice had John ever laid hands on her and he always got in big trouble for that. Ava would feel guilty when that happened, more sad that John was getting punished than anything he did to her.
Ava pushed that squirmy feeling deep down, there was nothing she could do now.
Soon Bucky was walking into the kitchen, him and Yelena sharing a silent look Ava didn’t quite get. He sat down across from them on the table,
“Are you okay, Ava?”
Ava nodded in response, having both them with her eased that guilt within her and lifted her spirits. She got lost in eating her snack, tuning out the conversation Yelena and Bucky were having until they turned their attention to her.
Yelena spoke, “Ava, that was a bit scary, huh?” She tucked a piece of Ava’s hair as she continued, “We don’t want you to be upset at John after this, okay?”
The squirmy feeling in her stomach came back. She wouldn’t be upset at John, she had already forgiven him since she knew that she egged him on. If anything she was more upset at herself. She didn’t understand why she did this. The thought of her actions only made her upset, she lowered her head and her eyebrows furrowed in displeasure.
To Yelena and Bucky, it seemed Ava was more upset at John than they thought. Yelena gently placed her hands on Ava’s, “Милый, look at me.” Ava lifted her head to look Yelena in her eyes, “Are you upset?”
Ava visibly tried to make herself smaller, hunching in her shoulders and looking away with almost a guilty manner. Bucky spoke up, “It’s okay if you’re upset Ava. We aren’t upset with you.”
The girl shrank even further away and Yelena continued, “It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling, Ava. But we can’t let those emotions fester inside, do you understand?”
Ava nodded solemnly in response.
“We’ve talked about Johnny’s…outbursts, before.” Yelena didn’t know if that was the best word but the girl seemed to understand. “So you know that sometimes Johnny can’t control those big emotions he feels…so he kind of-“ Yelena made an explosion sound, representing John’s emotional outbursts that can happen.
Bucky picked up, “Which we aren’t saying that makes his outbursts okay, he’s gotta deal with the outcomes of his actions. We just want you to understand that Johnny doesn’t truly mean what he does. So don’t stay upset at him for too long, okay?”
“….Okay.”
----
The 20 minutes to John felt like 2 hours. Staring at the white living room wall as he thought about everything and nothing.
His anger had simmered to a small ember, he was still mad at Ava, Bubba, and ‘Lena but the emotions that threatened to explode at any second cooled down enough for him to now just stare quietly at the wall. Being quiet was one thing, staying still? That was a whole separate issue. John couldn’t stay still for very long; he got antsy quite easily and he found himself swaying side to side as he waited for his imprisonment to be over.
John almost jumped out of his skin when Bucky’s hand landed on his shoulders stopping his swaying, “Times up, Kiddo.”
Bucky groaned internally when the only thing he got in response was a glare and John getting up and storming away. Yelena walked into the living room just as John walked past her, “I’m guessing the ‘calm-down’ chair did little calming”
Bucky shook his head, “Apparently. Let him be till dinner, I think we are just going to have to wait for him to cool off and approach him or come to one of us.”
--
While John’s anger had simmered to a small ember, seeing Bucky was like someone had started fan the embers back into a flame. He stormed pass ‘Lena, pass the kitchen and straight into their play room, slamming the door behind him. A spike of anxiety filled John’s chest as he heard just how loud the door slammed. He waited with baited breath as he was sure Bucky would come in to scold him. He let out a sigh of relief when no one showed up.
He was thankful no one else was in the room, he was sure he would get in trouble again if he encountered anyone else. John grabbed his Switch from the charger before plopping down onto one of the bean bags in the room, “Why do I always get in trouble, it’s not my fault” John grumbled to himself.
Time flew by as John got absorbed in his game and before he knew it there was a soft rapt on the door before it opened. John’s stomach flipped hoping it wasn’t Bucky,
“Johnny?” Bob opened the door enough to peak in, John let out a sigh of relief when he saw it was just Bob, “Hey buddy, it’s time for dinner.”
“Dinner?” John echoed, that pit in his stomach only grew worse at the shame of facing everyone, after all they all probably knew that he got in trouble and what he’d done. Bob standing there face one of patience only twisted John’s stomach even more. That awful feeling in his tummy morphing into one of bitterness and resentment. He shouldn’t feel bad; he did nothing wrong. It was everyone else who was in the wrong, they didn’t believe him and wouldn’t listen to him.
Bob’s face shifted to concern seeing John now start to glare at him, he shook his head quickly refocusing what he was doing, “Come on, let’s go”
John got up slowly, making sure his displeasure was known before walking with Bob to the kitchen. He already decided he was going to make sure Bubba, ‘Lena, and Ava knew he was mad, he wasn’t going to enjoy dinner, and he definitely wasn’t going to be nice to Ava.
The smell of mashed potatoes, gravy, and chicken wafted the air as the pair walked in. John’s stomach already betraying John’s steely decision of resentment and found himself walking towards the stove. A hand on his shoulder stopped him and steered him away, John jumped slightly and swiveling his head found out who grabbed him, Alexei.
“Just in time! Go, go sit down you two, we’ll bring the food to you.” His voice filling the whole kitchen.
“Got it, thanks Alexei” Bob smiled leading John over to the table. The little stopped however in his tracks when he noticed Ava was already sitting down ‘Lena next to her, the two of them smiling. He scowled and moved to sit as far away from them as possible. Bob settled down next to him, sending a sympathetic smile his way that only made John want to throw something.
Alexei and Bucky made their way over with the food setting serving dishes in the middle of the table. Alexei taking the other seat by John while Bucky sat down right across from John. The table settled into light chatter and banter as everyone started to dig into their food, Bob grabbing John’s plate and serving him. John was hungry, not having a snack and then locking himself in the playroom till dinner had him starving. His hunger and emotions having a battle, does he scarf down the food like he wanted to or does he snub it in defiance against half the table?
John could feel Bucky’s eyes on him, already getting ready to tell him to start eating. Well, he can snub and eat his food, so John started to shovel food into his mouth in a very snubby way, slow and angry.
“I heard you all had quite an eventful day, yes?” Alexei asked the table, “Especially, these two young ones, huh?”
Yelena hissed out “Dad-“ but John tuned out the rest of Yelena’s protest, he could feel his stomach drop. Shame that they all knew he was bad and frustration that Alexei would just casually say it like that.
“What? I’m just asking a question,” Alexei complained not reading the room, “I heard about poor Ava,” Ava stiffened at the mention of her name, shrinking down like she didn’t want to be seen.
Poor Ava? John thought, Why did everyone always give sympathy to her? He gripped his fork, moving his food around his plate in annoyance.
“And John it’s not-“ But before Alexei could finish Bucky interjected, “Alexei, stop, please. We already dealt with this, let’s just move on with the rest of dinner.”
“Oh c’mon on Bucky, we should have these discussions with the whole fami-“
A loud crash and glass shattering interrupted Alexei. The room fell silent and everyone looked at the source of the noise in silence. John had slid his plate of food off the table, food and glass shattering on the ground around them. John seemed shock by his own actions for a split second but quickly replaced it with anger.
“Johnathan Walker.” Bucky spoke with a leveled voice. He always spoke like that to him John thought, his eyes focused on the ground, when he was in trouble or they thought he needed to calm down. The voice alone made him want to shrink from the shame of his actions and make him throw more things in rage.
John brought his eyes up to the table, Alexei seems unphased by what had just happened, Bubba’s eyes were stern like he was about to take John to his room, Ava had leaned into Yelena’s shoulder, Yelena looked startled at what John did but her eyes were solely focused on Bob, her hand reaching out to grab…John’s eyes followed to where Bob sat next to him and the hand Yelena was going to grab, shaking.
Horror, shame, and frustration came to a boiling point and before John could stop them tears started to fall from his eyes, “…I’m sorry” he whispered.
Bucky got up slowly rounding the table and tapping John on the shoulder getting the little’s attention, “C’mon buddy, lets go.”
John got up slowly, “Watch your step,” Bucky warned as John maneuvered through the shattered glass and fallen food and followed Bucky out of the kitchen. With each step through the halls John’s anger towards Ava, Bubba, and ‘Lena seemed very small, he…he just hurt Bob. Silent tears flowed and John’s breathing started to pick up the closer they got to where Bucky was leading him.