Work Text:
Ben sat at his desk mindlessly doodling, his pen and the movements of his hand—the ones that had been tracing the shape of Ricky’s face—betraying the thoughts that begged him to push Ricky away. To pretend he didn’t feel the things he did around him. But no matter how hard Ben tried, those feelings always flooded back to his heart.
Ben hated him—his smug face, the somewhat flirty teasing, the way he said what he said as if he didn’t care what people would think of him. So fucking stupid.
Yet, despite how stupidly smug Ricky was, and as much as he said he hated it, he couldn’t stop his heart from practically beating out of his chest every time Ricky leaned too close.
He glanced up at Ricky who’d been lying on Ben’s bed, lazily throwing a ball up into the air, catching it over and over as if there was nothing better to do with his time. Ben caught a smile slightly tugging at his cheeks, his face flushing more with every second he stared. Yet, he found himself refusing to pull his eyes away.
Ricky finally caught the ball and turned his head, locking eyes with Ben. They sat there, the silence hanging between them as they gazed at each other softly, waiting for each other to look away.
“Can’t take your eyes off me, Brookie?” Ricky asked, his voice evidently full of that smug, flirty teasing Ben told himself he hated. Ben rolled his eyes as Ricky let out a soft laugh before continuing, “I know I’m handsome, you don’t have to stare.”
“I’m just thinking about how much I want to punch your stupid face,” Ben remarked, standing up from his chair as he shut his sketchbook and shoved it aside. He inched closer to the bed as Ricky pat the side of the bed beside him and lied down almost hesitantly.
They stared at the ceiling, the inevitable silence speaking more words than their voices could. Ricky turned to Ben and let the quiet sink in for a moment longer before cutting the silence short.
Ricky smiled, quickly grabbing onto Ben’s hand, clasping them together and sitting up, dragging him toward the window. “C’mere,” he mumbled.
Ben’s gaze flickered between him and the window, stuttering out, “What are you—“
Ricky opened the window with one hand, keeping the other tightly wrapped around Ben’s as he stepped out onto the fire escape. Rain slipped against the stairs and down the roof of the apartment building, pouring down on the two boys.
Ricky let go of Ben’s hand and leaned back against the wet fence, smirking. Ben’s heart slightly sank when Ricky let go, not that he would admit it.
“Shitbird,” Ben whispered, interlocking his own hands over the fence, his back to the window. “It’s raining.”
“You finally noticed,” Ricky smiled, admiring the side of Ben’s face. “Were you sketching me again back there, Brookie?”
Ben’s eyes widened as the heat rose to his cheeks, stuttering, trying to get an excuse out. He groaned and flopped his arms onto his head in defeat. “Maybe…”
Ricky chuckled, placing a hand over Ben’s arm, slowly pulling them away from his face. He stared into Ben’s eyes for another second, green like a forest, shining with a beauty that no painter or poet could ever capture.
Ben stared back as Ricky took his hand once more, clasping them together. He waited for Ricky to do something, nothing but the rain filling the quiet air—he wanted for Ricky to say something and not let the silence sit for another moment longer. But he knew he didn’t really want the moment to end. He wanted more than the occasional gazes and soft touches that were supposed to mean nothing. He knew.
Ricky gazed softy into Ben’s eyes, pressing harder into Ben’s warm hands. “You’re beautiful,” he muttered, and Ben immediately felt his heart drop, beating faster than he could think. His mind was racing with thoughts he knew he wasn’t supposed to have—but he let himself think them anyway. He wasn’t going to let the moment slip away.
He wanted it more than anything. More than he thought he wanted Lola.
Ricky leaned in closer without thinking, his eyes flickering down to Ben’s lips as if asking for permission, the heat rising between the two despite the cold rain.
And then—
Their lips met.
Ben exhaled softly into Ricky’s mouth as he pressed their lips together, letting out a gentle hum mixed with surprise and pleasure.
He moved his hands up to Ricky’s cheek, sliding down to his neck and curling his fingers into his damp hair as Ricky grasped firmly onto Ben’s hips, barely able to keep him upright.
It was soft at first, but that gentleness was gone before they knew it.
Their chests pressed closer together as the kiss deepened, Ricky’s grip on Ben’s waist tightening as he pulled Ben toward him, the space between each other practically nonexistent.
Ben’s hand slid down to Ricky’s chest, grabbing a hold of his wet leather jacket as he pulled him closer, their lips moving together in a messy rhythm.
The kiss eventually slowed down, becoming more gentle and soft with each passing second. Ricky lightly laughed into the kiss and pulled back slowly, pressing his head against Ben’s. They were both out of breath and filled with emotions they knew they would have to talk about later—but forget it. They would do it sooner or later.
Both their cheeks were a bright red, drops of rain sliding down their blush-ridden faces as they looked at each other in surprise.
Ricky slowly moved his hand up and cupped Ben’s face gently, carefully tracing his lip with his thumb.
“I meant it when I told you ‘I love you’,” Ricky whispered, as if it would break the moment if he spoke any louder.
Ben smiled and nodded slowly. “I guess you weren’t just sleep deprived, huh?”
“No,” Ricky laughed, his lips still a breath away from Ben’s. “No, I guess not.”
And this time, Ben was the one to lean in.