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“So, you’re keeping your name?” Dabi asked from where he lounged on the couch, shirtless as always, arms stretched above his head now that he had the range of mobility to do so.
“Yeah.” Tenko was seated on the armchair diagonal from the couch, curled up on the plush cushion and picking at a loose thread in one of the tears on his black jeans. He knew it wasn’t typical for people to keep their birth names when transitioning, but he had nothing against his. It was relatively neutral, at least in his video gaming experience. There had been one or two characters of different genders in other games that had his same name.
“That’s cool. Makes things easier. No changing all your documents.” Dabi paused before laughing. “Not that any of us have any documents to change. But nobody has to learn something new, either.”
Tenko shrugged, still not looking over at his friend. He felt like, by not choosing a new name, he was cheating somehow. There was a lot about himself that he wasn’t all that uncomfortable with and he worried that made him less valid. He often felt the worst parts of himself were on the inside – his intrusive thoughts, his depression, his suspicion of everyone around him.
“Hey.” Dabi sat up and scooted closer to Tenko. As his scarred body came into Tenko’s periphery, the younger man finally looked up. “You don’t have to change your name. Magne just goes by her field name. And Himiko uses their same name no matter how they identify on whatever day.”
Tenko hummed noncommittally as he considered that. He knew his friends wouldn’t really care what name he decided on. They had been cycling through different names for him for a few months as he suggested them, but none had ever stuck or felt right. Tenko felt close to giving up before realizing one night that he didn’t really mind the name he already had.
“You’re right. It is easier.” Tenko took a breath and sat more upright in the chair. Dabi was a good friend despite their rocky introduction a couple years prior. He could trust the other man’s observations. “I keep thinking it has to be difficult and lead to some profound realization or something. But I don’t think that’s how it is for me.”
Dabi nodded as he leaned over to dig through the drawer of the side table between them. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and tossed it onto the couch next to him after taking one out. Then he lit it with a little flame on his fingertip, took a drag, and leaned back as he exhaled the smoke. Tenko was used to smoke of all kinds by then and none of them really minded it anymore. Plus, it was safer to stay inside.
“I’m glad.”
Tenko knew his friend was being genuine, but he couldn’t help that nagging worry at the back of his head that Dabi was… jealous? He knew Dabi had an awful time figuring out his own identity and ended up covered in scars because of it.
“Tenko. I mean that. What kinda friend would I be otherwise? Come on.” There was some movement before something was tossed to Tenko, bouncing off his lap and tumbling to the floor.
“Oh, shit-” Tenko grabbed for it, missed, and went to pick it up. He saw it was a game controller and glanced at Dabi as his friend turned on the television.
“Mario Kart. Let’s go. Get you outta your head.” Dabi got the game up and selected a full race before Tenko could say anything else.
Tenko snorted and focused on the screen. His go-to character before was King Boo because he liked the ghost’s goofy cackle. But this time he considered other options and tabbed over to Rosalina instead. Her default bike option was cute with light blue, yellow, and white. Tenko wasn’t usually a fan of yellow, but her pretty character model won out.
“Mixing it up today?”
“She’s pretty,” Tenko said with a shrug as he confirmed his selection. The screen counted down to the race starting before switching over to the track preview.
“How about you?” Dabi was looking at the screen then, ready to start as soon as the next countdown ended. But he was still leaning towards Tenko and his tone made it clear that he really did want to keep talking.
“What about me?” Tenko was more focused on the race, pressing the acceleration button just before the countdown ended to get that immediate boost.
“Could we call you pretty? Or would you prefer handsome? I think boys can be pretty without being any less masculine.” Even as Dabi explained, he masterfully controlled his own bike with Dry Bones. The two friends were very evenly matched, first and second place constantly swapping on their screen.
Tenko went quiet after the explanation. He… wasn’t sure. Nobody had ever bothered to call him pretty before and he certainly didn’t expect anyone to call him handsome now. He still looked far too feminine, in his own opinion. Soft facial features without any hair, hips that rounded out despite how skinny he was, and a chest that he tried to keep hidden under baggy shirts. Even his voice was light when he wasn’t screaming at people.
“I dunno,” he finally said. “Doesn’t matter.” Or, he wasn’t sure if it mattered. He didn’t expect anyone to compliment him anyway. And certainly not so generously.
Dabi sighed and tossed his controller aside when the first race ended with Tenko just barely making it to the finish line a half second before him. Tenko smirked and glanced over as the race wrapped up and their point totals were shown.
“I don’t think ‘pretty’ or ‘handsome’ really apply to either of us, man.” Tenko gestured to the marks and bandages on his neck and arms. “We both have messed up skin and shitty attitudes.”
“Hey, I’m still pretty,” Dabi insisted as he snatched up his controller again to skip the cutscenes and hurry to the next race.
“Okay, pretty boy,” Tenko teased.
Dabi whistled as his smirk returned, ready to win that race and snark back with the same energy. “What high praise from Mister Handsome over here.”
The joke almost hurt, but then that initial shame blossomed warm and happy in Tenko’s chest. Mister Handsome. That was a goofy name and Tenko hardly felt that he deserved it. But the friendly teasing was nice. He might not feel very masculine or handsome most days, but his friends would always insist otherwise.
The race ended with Dabi winning and Tenko in third place. He was too caught up grinning to himself about that silly name and missed enough of the boost pads to fall behind.
“What happened, man? Falling apart on me. I need some competition.” Dabi got up to head to the kitchen for a drink so Tenko lounged in his armchair and continued to just grin at the ceiling.
“Hey.” Something cold pressed to Tenko’s shoulder, making him look over. “You feeling good, man?”
Tenko accepted the can of soda and nodded as he cracked it open. “Mm, yeah.”
Dabi chuckled as he sat down with a beer. Tenko was still feeling too pleased with the ‘Mister Handsome’ name to be annoyed that his friend brought him soda instead of alcohol.
“Ready to get your ass beat again?” Tenko asked as he set the soda aside and quickly tabbed to the next race.
“Fuck-” Dabi scrambled to set his own drink down and wipe the condensation off his hands before grabbing his controller again. He missed the countdown boost so Tenko zoomed ahead of him. “Dude, you gotta warn me.”
“Mister Handsome doesn’t play fair.” Tenko was locked in and barely noticed that he used that silly name for himself.
“That’s your field name now, I think.” Dabi took a shortcut and popped out right next to Tenko a few seconds later. “Mister Handsome and his League of Villains.”
Tenko snorted at the ridiculousness of that but didn’t shoot it down. He would pretend that he was too focused on the race if Dabi brought it up later. But for that moment, it was nice. He was Tenko, AKA Mister Handsome. Even if the rest of the world didn’t see him that way, his friends did. And their opinions were the only thing that mattered.
Well, their opinions and maintaining his winning streak against Dabi in Mario Kart.