Work Text:
Dreams had disappeared in a second. Fleeting like a petal floating in the wind. He needed to sleep, but it kept slipping away from him. Hidden so deep in a bed too big for him.
Maybe a walk would ease his nerves and let him drift back into that softness?
Blankets shifted as he got up. His footsteps ringing out as he stepped on the old wooden floor. The door creaking as he opened it. Into the hallway, so unfamiliar. The castle was dark, quiet and cold.
Colder than that little cottage he…
It had been a couple days since he’d arrived here.
A place that’s so different from home, though some things quite familiar.
Faces like the ones he’s known so long, yet people he doesn’t.
Was this all just a dream he hadn’t woken from yet?
Was time moving the same way over there?
Had they gone searching for him?
The thought felt wrong.
But what else could he do?
Merlina said she couldn’t bring him back at this moment.
That the magic couldn’t work right now.
That he needed to stay here and…
Rest.
Yet here he was, wandering the halls of this giant castle, unable to sleep.
A hero to the world, so small and insignificant in this giant place.
What a pitiful sight.
He wandered for awhile, the sound of his footsteps echoing all around.
Eventually stopping near a window looking out at an inner garden.
Thoughts returning to his head.
How long would he have to stay here?
So far from the friends he’s always known?
The faces of the knights around him like a cruel reminder of what he’s missing so?
A sigh escaped his lips.
Thinking like this did nothing to calm his restless mind.
It even seemed to make it worse.
He wrapped his arms around himself to try to fight off the cold.
The sound of footsteps brought him out of his thoughts just before a voice called out to him.
“My liege? What are you doing so late at night?”
Before him stood Lancelot, the first knight he had met when he just arrived.
A knight so similar to his biggest rival.
Fighting him had felt so normal, even though his situation was not.
Unlike their first meeting, the knight hadn’t donned his armour. Instead he wore a simple tunic and pants combo, brown leather boots on his feet.
With no visor to hide it, his face showed all the differences he’d come to recognise.
After all, this was Lancelot, not Shadow.
“I had trouble with sleep”, he replied, noting the concern on Lance’s face.
The knight thought for a second, before giving a curt nod.
“A problem most dire”, he’d said, both serious and sincere. It felt strange, such care being given, considering how they acted upon their first meeting. “Would you like me to stay?”
The loss of the quietness of the night seemed right, so Sonic replied a mere, “yes.”
In reply, the knight approached, moving to stand next to him. Still some distance away, facing the window just like him.
At first, he did not say anything more, instead opting to lean on the window sill.
“Do you wish to talk, my liege?”
“I would appreciate that”, he said. “Keep my mind of my worries.”
Did he really say that last part?
Lancelot did not comment on that, but he did offer to tell him about the tasks he’d done that day.
Not much had happened, mostly training exercises and meetings with lower officials.
It really had been a boring day.
Not much to do.
It was no wonder really that he struggled to sleep so much.
He’d been alone with his thoughts for so long.
Even just standing here talking wasn’t enough to really ease his nerves.
What more could he do?
How could he stop these thoughts from bothering him?
How could he get to rest, when everything felt so wrong?
“My liege?”
Had he noticed?
How much he worried?
“What is it?”, he replied.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?”
He’d said that so gently.
But how could he ask for anything, when he doesn’t know what he wants?
“Eh, I don’t have anything in particular in mind.”
Would that be good enough?
The knight brought a hand to his face, clearly thinking about what else to do.
And what could he do?
How could he help this ceaseless anxiety?
How could he help bring him back to the sleep he so needed?
“Is there a reason you are still awake, my liege?”
“I just couldn’t get back to sleep, s’all. Too many thoughts in my mind.”
“That seems troubling,” the knight said softly.
“I thought a walk would help, but it hasn’t yet. Well, not like it’s changed much, with how I’ve been sleeping lately.”
The knight turned towards him, cautious.
“I would recommend you not stay up much longer, my liege. Do you wish me to escort you back?”
With a sigh, he accepted that.
The cold feeling didn’t leave when they returned to “his” chamber.
The quiet walk had been almost unsettling.
How he yearned for some warmth,
Some comfort,
Some…
“Is there anything I can do for you, my liege?”
The question jolted him out of his thoughts.
“I… uh… well…”, he stammered, the quiet of the night soon returning. His gaze had fallen to the floor, unsure where to go.
The knight, his knight, turned away as he seemed to get ready to leave.
“Actually, uhm… could you… hold my hand? For a bit?”
Right as the question left his mouth, he felt embarrassed.
How could he ask for something so stupid and small?
Even still, the knight stopped in his tracks. The moment seemed to linger as his heart started to race.
What did he think?
Why was he just standing there?
“You wish… to hold my hand?”, he said, so quiet and gentle, that Sonic nearly didn’t hear.
So soft…
And without judgement.
“... yes”, he answered, nearly as quietly.
Each step his knight took closer to him made his heart jump.
And then…
He held out his hand.
Fingers slowly gliding into place.
Warmth.
A gentle warmth.
A comforting warmth.
The anxiety he felt slowly drifting away.
He closed his eyes, while gently laying back down in that giant bed.
How long would this moment last?
Would this knight stay as long as he wanted him to?
Would he stay the whole night, if only he asked him to?
Would he want to?
He felt the small motion indicating Lance had sat down next to the bed.
Softly, he opened his eyes, barely daring to look at the man beside him.
A gentle gaze met his, the slight worry from earlier still visible in his face.
He’d never dared to say how handsome he looked.
Shadow would have never accepted such a compliment.
Would Lancelot be any different?
They aren’t the same person, he knew that, so maybe…
Just maybe…
He could…
Say it?
What a silly thought.
There’s no way he could admit something like that!
And how would it feel, if those feelings were reciprocated, before vanishing again when he would finally return home?
Could he even dare hope for these feelings to be reciprocated?
He sighed and closed his eyes again.
A gentle squeeze on his hand.
Could he?
Would it be allowed?
Would it be accepted?
Lancelot had been so kind, for so long, ever since he’d been assigned king.
It had all been so new, but he accepted it.
Took care of him in a way he never thought he would.
Would he be able to say it?
Say what he really wants?
Ask him for what he really needs right now?
Even though it’s an incredibly vulnerable and intimate thing to ask for?
Ugghh.
Why is this stuff so difficult?
All this…
Affection and closeness and stuff.
Amy always made it look so easy.
Why couldn’t he be more like her?
Even just thinking about her for a moment made his loneliness feel stronger.
He didn’t know it could hurt so much.
Laying in a giant bed, so far form home, only the little warmth of one hand holding him to keep him grounded.
It all felt so wrong, but what could he do?
He still felt so cold.
So distant from everyone around him.
Yearning to go back home to everything and everyone he knows.
Yearning hard for just a little more warmth.
Yearning for a little more touch.
He readied himself.
This was going to be a tough request to make.
“Lance?”, he said as quietly as he could.
“Yes, my liege?”, the knight replied, quietly.
He really had to say it know.
“I… I want you too, uhm… hold me.”
“Hold you?”
That question made his anxiety rise, even though it was said so gently.
“Like… closer… than just our hands?”, he said, not daring to look at his knight’s reaction.
He probably thought it was a stupid question.
“Closer…”, was all he replied, a quiet whisper.
Hesitantly, he opened one eye, now seeing his knight had turned his head in thought.
He showed no sign of judgement.
Did he have to explain what he meant?
But what could he say?
“I feel cold still”, he said, more confidently than he expected.
Lance turned his head at that.
He was quiet still, choosing to look in his king’s eyes first.
“You want me to warm you?”
“Yeah.”
More silence followed, as they looked at each other.
How could he make clear what he wants?
Maybe he could…
Scooch over?
Make some space for him?
He broke eye contact before starting to move.
He even made sure to squeeze Lance’s hand so he wouldn’t let go.
“Are you sure my liege?”
The question made him stop.
“I…”
Was this Lance’s way of saying he didn’t want to do this?
Still, he didn’t let go of his hand, so…
“Do you want me to lay with you, my liege?”
Did he…
Put emphasis on the “me” part of his question?
“Yes.”
He turned to look at his knight now.
Lance had turned his face away, but did glance back, before giving a small nod.
He then slowly rose out of his seated position, before slowly sitting down on the side of the bed.
His eyes now looking at his king’s again.
Some hesitation in his gaze.
But he did slowly start to lay down next to him.
Sonic didn’t realise until now that he had held his breath.
They were not touching just yet, but they were now both laying down.
It was almost stressful.
Did he have to make the first move?
Oh Gaia, this was awkward.
He’d never done such a thing before.
Something so intimate.
But he wanted it so badly.
To be held by someone he cared for.
He hesitantly reached out, slowly crawling back towards Lance.
The knight did not move away, yet did not approach himself.
Silently waiting for the coming move of his king.
All he did was open his arms just a tad.
Just enough to crawl into.
Warmth.
Mixed with the cold touch of the leather tunic, but still, warmth.
A sigh escaping from his lips, as he snuggled even closer.
How he’d needed this.
How he’d wanted this.
This little bit of comfort.
He couldn’t help himself.
Crawling so close to his knight, so similar to the one he’d known.
He’d always wanted to know how it would feel.
That special little feeling.
His face so close to that special little place.
That fluffy bit of chest that both of them had shared.
His arms wrapped around him, gently pulling him closer.
Gently stroking his quills.
He never wanted this moment to end.
It was so soft.
So gentle and warm.
So comforting.
The best place to be.
“My liege, is there anything else I can do for you?”
A question, said both so softly and gentle.
What could he say to that?
What would be able to make clear to him what he wants?
What else but:
“Stay.”