Chapter Text
“Race, sleigh, like the wind
Through the snow, quickly, lightly
If we sow our laughter in the snow
It will become flowers of bright light.”
Kise looked out the coffee shop window, tapping his feet in an absent rhythm. The December weather had frosted Tokyo in hues of silver. Pedestrians hurried down the sidewalk, bundled up in heavy coats. Across the street, colorful holiday displays brightened the shops. Kise just wished it were colder out there. Cold enough for ice and snow. That would have been perfect.
“Kise.”
He sort of heard his name, somewhere in the back of his mind. He didn’t really register it, though. The melody that buzzed between his lips climbed in pitch.
“Yo, Kise.” A smack against his leg jarred him out of his reverie.
“What? And ow. You don’t have to be so mean.” He said this in his most practiced ‘I can’t believe you would kick me, why oh why is life so unfair’ voice.
Across the table, Aomine rolled his eyes. The six members of the Generation of Miracles had gathered at their favorite coffee shop, in honor of the holiday season (and also since everyone was in town for the Winter Cup).
“Do you even hear yourself when you’re doing that?” he said.
Kise blinked. “What, humming? Sure I do.”
“Well, it’s obnoxious. Ask anybody.”
Beside Aomine, Midorima gave a brisk nod. Murasakibara nodded too, in between bites of holiday cake. Kise openly pouted at all three of them. Only to switch to a grin when Kuroko, who sat right beside him, gave a subtle shrug. “I don’t know. I thought it was festive, at least.”
“Aw, Kurokocchi! You’re so nice.” Kise cocooned Kuroko in a hug—only to be met with yet another scowl, as Kuroko tried to squirm his way free.
“Please release me,” he said, muffled.
“For the record, the fact that you were humming Jingle Bells does not make it somehow better,” Midorima said in his stuffy way, ignoring Kuroko’s plight. “What is and is not annoying does not magically change just because it’s December.” He paused. “It might make it worse, in fact.”
Kise gave a gasp. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that Christmas songs can be grating, even during the holidays. Particularly to people who aren’t in the ideal mood to hear them.”
Kise’s jaw dropped, as did his grip on Kuroko. He stared at his former teammates, as most of them nodded along to Midorima’s words.
“I can’t believe you guys,” he exclaimed. “You’re like… like Scrooge or the Grinch or something!” Ordinarily Kise would laugh at the idea of comparing Midorima to the Grinch, what with his green hair and all. But he was too appalled. “Christmas songs are the best! Kurokocchi agrees with me. You do too, right, Akashicchi?”
He turned to the only person who hadn’t weighed in on the subject. Akashi sat on the other side of Kuroko. He took a leisurely sip of his coffee. He studied Kise out of the corner of his eye, looking pretty much exactly like an aloof cat.
It was strange, Kise thought, how Akashi had changed since the summer. Ever since the street ball match against Jabberwock, Akashi had been acting a little different. Because he no longer had two selves, or at least, not in the way he did before.
He was still the same Akashi they met first, back at Teikou. He was patient and polite. But he was like his other self too. It was really subtle, just small stuff. Like the way he would give a sly smile now and then, or make a remark that on second thought was kind of cynical. He was actually even more fun to be around. In a weird way, Kise realized, Akashi was acting more like himself than ever. He was just being all of himself at once, instead of at different times.
It was exactly like Kuroko had said… Akashi was Akashi. He always had been.
Akashi replaced his cup on his saucer. “To tell you the truth, I don’t much care for Christmas in general. Not that I begrudge you for celebrating it, Kise.”
“Huh, really?” Kise’s heart dropped. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would dislike Christmas. “But how come?”
Akashi sighed a bit. “For one thing, it’s an over-commercialized holiday imported from the West.” His tone was gentle, but firm. “I don’t object to Western culture, but the Japanese interpretation of Christmas is a shallow affair, when compared to our traditional holidays. It’s little more than an excuse to eat a strangely inaccurate holiday meal—and for couples to be emotionally demonstrative in public.”
The rest of them were silent, taking in this eloquent barrage of words. Aomine edged toward Murasakibara and mumbled, “I don’t get it. What’s inaccurate about fried chicken?”
Murasakibara just shrugged. “Who cares, it’s good.”
Kise only half-heard them. He was way more concerned about the last part of Akashi’s lecture. He leaned forward, ignoring how he was looming directly over Kuroko’s head.
“But that’s why it’s so great, though! Family holidays like New Years are nice too, but Christmas is romantic. Like with the shop displays, and the illuminations. And all the dressed-up couples out on their dates. It’s fun!”
“It’s expensive, is what it is,” Midorima huffed, arms crossed. “You should hear my classmates fretting about how much to spend on their girlfriends. And forget traditional carols. If I hear that damned pop song playing in a store one more time…”
“Which one?” Kuroko said, still trying to edge out from under Kise. “Last Christmas, or the one by Mariah Carey-san?”
“Either,” Midorima said, and Aomine joined in with a groan.
“Talk about it,” he said. “Satsuki dragged me shopping yesterday, and I thought I was going to lose my freaking mind.”
“You guys are boring,” Kise declared. He started to hum the opening to All I Want For Christmas, and was just about to burst out into his usual rousing rendition of the chorus—it was his favorite karaoke song to sing in December—when Akashi spoke again, in a slightly louder tone.
“If you don’t mind me asking, Kise, is there some reason you’re looking forward to this Christmas in particular?”
“Hm?” Kise turned back to Akashi. He ignored the others, who were all breathing sighs of relief at the interruption. “What do you mean?”
“Did you have plans for Christmas Eve? A date, for example?” Akashi’s crimson eyes were narrow, focused. He sounded genuinely curious, much to Kise’s surprise. Like there was some reason he wanted to know.
Kise felt a tiny flutter, somewhere inside his chest. He ignored that, too.
“Nah, nothing like that,” he said with a practiced laugh.
“What, seriously?” Aomine said. “Don’t you have like a million girlfriends or something?”
Kise frowned across the table at him. “Fans aren’t the same thing as girlfriends.”
“Sure. But they’d be your girlfriends if you asked, right?”
“I guess.” Kise shrugged. “But dates on Christmas Eve are supposed to be serious, right? I don’t want to lead anybody on that bad. Or deal with them getting all clingy afterward.”
Some of his old teammates gave Kise a half-disapproving, half-amused look. The kind that said, ‘Do you have a heart or don’t you? We can’t tell.’ But Kise was used to that. And he knew the answer, so he didn’t mind, really.
“Well, all things considered, your opinion doesn’t sound especially different from mine,” Akashi said, after taking another sip of coffee. “Such things aren’t worth the trouble, generally speaking.”
“I don’t think that, though!” Kise still found it distressing that Akashi didn’t like Christmas. “I would love to do all that fun Christmas stuff. No strings attached, just have a good time, you know? Go out for a nice dinner, look at lights. And get presents for each other!”
“Yeah, and then the love hotel,” Aomine muttered, smirking.
Midorima elbowed him. “Inappropriate.”
“I’m sorry, Kise.” Akashi shook his head. “I’m afraid I just don’t see the appeal.”
“Well, I bet you’ve never even tried to enjoy Christmas!” Kise said. His thoughts were going a mile a minute, faster than his mouth could keep up. “Like just looking at the decorations, or shopping, or anything. You can’t say you don’t like something if you never even give it a shot.”
Akashi was quiet. He lifted his left brow, a subtle motion that made his eyes gleam. “Just out of curiosity, how would you propose I do that? Should I go out and do these apparently fascinating things by myself?”
“No,” Kise blurted. “I’ll go with you.”
Everyone gaped at him. Kise fidgeted, both legs squirming underneath the table. Why was the atmosphere so weird all of a sudden?
Akashi gazed at him for a long moment. A smile sidled onto his lips. It sent a feathery shiver scuttling down the back of Kise’s neck. That piercing stare really did look like Akashi’s other self, somehow. (His left eye even looked a shade lighter… But it was just a tiny hint of gold. Kise must have been imagining it.)
Kise had stopped feeling wary around Akashi, any version of him, a long time ago. But there was something about the intensity of Akashi’s expressions that could still make his skin tingle sometimes.
“Very well,” Akashi said calmly. “If you’re so determined to show me the alleged joys of Christmas, Kise, then I will accompany you wherever you like on Christmas Eve.”
Kise’s heart gave a leap.
“Really?” he said, but the word hadn’t even left his mouth before other people at the table were chiming in.
“What the hell,” Aomine said. “But isn’t that—?”
“Wait a minute, Akashi,” Midorima said. “You can’t seriously—”
Akashi held up a hand, stopping them both. “Well, Kise? Would you be interested? If you have other plans or obligations, I understand.”
Kise pressed his lips together. He was really tempted to say yes, for multiple reasons. But he was getting that funny feeling of his. The one that quivered deep down in his stomach, whenever he was about to do something that he knew would land him in over his head. The feeling never lasted very long, though, and it wasn’t like it ever stopped him from doing whatever it was…
Sure enough, less than two seconds later he shook it off, and beamed from ear to ear.
“Nope, no plans!” he said. “Of course I’ll hang out with you on Christmas Eve. But if I’m gonna show you how fun Christmas really is, then you have to promise to do whatever I want, okay? Or at least think about it.”
Akashi tipped his head to the side. “That’s an interesting condition.”
“Uh-huh. Think you can handle it?” Kise couldn’t help using a teasing tone. Because this was starting to sound like so much fun.
“I believe I can manage,” Akashi said, with a lingering smile. (He looked downright playful, which was new, as far as Kise could recall.) “But I should warn you, I won’t be easily swayed in my opinion, regarding this superficial holiday.”
“S’okay,” Kise said. “I like a challenge.”
They nodded at each other, and Kise knew for a fact that his eyes were twinkling just as much as Akashi’s were.
Somewhere in the background, Midorima groaned, and said something along the lines of, “I don't believe this.” Aomine kept saying over and over, “What the hell.” Kise didn’t care, because ideas were already zooming through his brain, of lights and decorations and department stores and all kinds of fun stuff.
He was definitely going to show Akashi just how great Christmas could be.
In every possible way.
Kise loved talking on the phone. It wasn’t his favorite thing—that was probably basketball, or his friends—but it was pretty close, and he never got tired of it. Really, the only bad thing about talking on the phone was that other people never wanted to talk as long as he did.
Which was why he was a little surprised when he started getting so many phone calls, early on the afternoon of Christmas Eve.
He didn’t mind, obviously. But he was kind of busy, seeing as he had promised to meet Akashi in a few hours.
First, Midorima called him when he was on his way into the shower. The shooting guard muttered something about how Kise shouldn’t go out tonight, because Gemini was ranked last in Oha Asa and his lucky item was his own house. But Kise—who had started following Oha Asa because it was weirdly fun—told him that wasn’t right, because Gemini was ranked third, and his lucky item was a watch or something.
Then he said, “What’s this about, Midorimacchi? It’s not like you to lie,” and Midorima got all quiet and harrumphed and said something about how Kise shouldn’t go anywhere, because there was such a thing as social convention and public decency, but he didn’t want to say anything more because of “divided loyalties.” Then he hung up. So basically Kise had no clue what he was talking about, and he shrugged and got in the shower.
When he got out of the shower, Aomine called. Kise balanced the phone on his shoulder while he finished toweling off. “What’s up, Aominecchi?”
This was followed by about a minute of nondescript grunting, with Aomine slurring all his words together like usual. “So. Uh. Hm. You’re… doing that thing. Aren’t you. Tonight. Or whatever.”
“Thing?” Kise repeated. “Hanging out with Akashicchi, you mean?”
“Um. Uh-huh. Yeah. That.”
“Yup,” Kise chirped. “I sure am!”
“… Huh.”
There was a long pause. Kise squinted at his reflection in the mirror. His skin was super clear today. He could go light on the makeup.
“So look, Kise,” Aomine said suddenly, catching his attention. “You like dudes sometimes, right?”
Kise choked down a laugh. That was random. It wasn’t like Aomine, or most of his friends, to bring up that subject. They all knew about his preferences, though. He didn’t keep that kind of thing a secret from his friends.
“Most of the time, yeah,” he said. “Why?”
Aomine coughed. “See, it’s just that… I mean with Christmas… Y’know Akashi is…” A weird noise came through the phone, a lot like a cat retching on a hairball. “Ahhh, I can’t do it. Nope, I can’t. Dammit. Fuck. Sorry, Kise. I tried.”
Kise scrunched up his nose. “Um, okay?”
Before he could say anything more, Aomine hung up.
Kise stared at his phone. What was that about? Aomine sounded almost worried or something, but Kise had no clue why he would be. Well, whatever.
He made his way to his room, then waded through the clothes strewn across the rug, before flinging open his closet door. He still couldn’t decide what to wear. It was going to be super cold—no snow though, bummer—so he needed a lot of layers to keep warm. But it was also Christmas Eve. Most people who were out and about in Tokyo would be all dressed up. So he wanted to look as great as possible.
Kise spent the next hour tossing clothes all over, trying to make a decision. He had a few button-down shirts he really liked, but he didn’t want to go for a tie, and they weren’t that warm. Maybe a mock turtleneck was better? Meanwhile his imitation leather jacket, the one that made him look like a runway model for some European fashion show, was a definite yes. He needed to pair it with a warmer coat, though, and he wasn’t quite sure which one looked best. Eventually he started texting his sisters for advice. With photos for reference, of course.
Somewhere in the middle of this, Momoi called, of all people. She asked if Kise was looking forward to hanging out with Akashi. He said yes. At which point Momoi said in her warmest voice, “Well, then I really honestly hope you have a very good time, Ki-chan.” So that was another weird phone call. Sweet, but weird.
Kise was finally making the torturous decision of hat or no hat—he liked hats in theory, but his hair always ended up looking so amazing that he hated to hide it—when his phone rang one last time. It was Kuroko.
“Hey, Kurokocchi. Wow, everyone’s calling me today.”
“Are they?” Kuroko said in his polite way. “Merry Christmas, Kise-kun. I would like to discuss something with you, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Sure. Whassup?”
“I don’t wish to intrude,” Kuroko said, kind of slowly. “But I believe some of our friends have concerns about your plans with Akashi-kun tonight. To an extent, I share their worries. I thought you should know.”
“Worries?” Kise echoed. He was posing in front of the mirror, with one of the hats on his head. Nah. He tossed it aside. “’Bout what?”
There was a pause. But that was pretty normal in a conversation with Kuroko, so Kise didn’t pay much attention.
Until Kuroko finally said, in the calmest voice on the planet, “Are you aware that Akashi-kun may consider your meeting to be a date?”
Kise fumbled the phone, then caught it up again. His mouth wriggled in a smile.
“What?” he said, forcing a laugh. “You mean like a date date? Oh c’mon, Kurokocchi. Just because it’s Christmas Eve doesn’t mean everyone who hangs out is on a date!”
“I’m aware. That is not the reason for my assumption.”
There was that flutter again. Like the wings of a tiny bird, beating fast inside Kise’s ribcage. He tightened his grip on his phone.
Crap. Was I being too obvious...?
“The others seem to feel Akashi-kun has certain… designs upon you,” Kuroko said, with solemn emphasis. “I would not phrase it that way, but we all believe he may be attracted to you. Christmas is, after all, a holiday for couples. I’m worried that you’ll end up in a situation that could make you uncomfortable. Especially if you haven’t considered the possibility.”
Kise sucked a breath through his gaping mouth. Then another, and another.
Was that what they thought? And why they all kept calling him?
They thought Akashi was going to seduce him?
“Oh,” he said. “Oh.”
And he burst into clanging laughter.
“Wow. Just—wow. Oh jeez. I can’t!” He clutched his side, struggling to keep the phone beside his ear. “Are you serious right now? Designs? It’s like you’re trying to protect my virtue! Pfft. Oh wow, this really takes me back. It’s like middle school all over again! When you guys got so freaked out by that group of fans I had.”
“Kise-kun, that was serious.” Kuroko’s frown was audible. “Some of that more than qualified as harassment.”
“Sure, sure,” Kise said, not wanting to get into all of that. “But I’m not some delicate flower, you know. I can take care of myself.”
“Yes, I know you can,” Kuroko said. His voice was even quieter than usual.
Kise softened. He finally let himself be serious. (Which he didn’t always bother to do, but Kuroko was one of the people he respected most.)
“Look, Kurokocchi,” he said. “You guys worry, like, way too much. This isn’t even like that. Seriously. Just trust me.”
“All right,” Kuroko said, though he sounded reluctant. “I certainly didn’t mean that Akashi-kun would hurt you in any way. He cares about you, and always has. The same as any of us.”
“I know,” Kise said cheerfully. “And that’s why he’ll never make me uncomfortable. There’s zero reason for you to be worried here. Promise. ’Kay?”
“Okay,” Kuroko said. “Well, in that case… I hope you have a pleasant evening.”
“Will do!” Kise sang. “Catch ya later, Kurokocchi.”
“Yes. Goodbye.”
Kise ended the call. He stared down at his phone screen. Guilt squirmed inside his chest. Because he kinda sorta hadn’t been straightforward with Kuroko. He said it “wasn’t like that.” And he knew what that probably sounded like…
“Oh nooo, Kurokocchi, it’s not like that at all! We’re just hanging out. Friends and stuff! There’s nothing more going on, couldn’t be, nope, noooo way.”
But that wasn’t actually what he meant.
Kise swallowed. As he thought back over the phone call, some of Kuroko’s words echoed inside his brain. His heart skittered, tripping over every other beat.
He didn’t know why the others thought Akashi was into him. Kise had no clue if that was true or not. He didn’t know if Akashi was even into guys. He never talked about it. But lately, Kise had kind of started to wonder how he felt about Akashi.
Kise had liked Akashi a lot from the start, as a friend. When they first met, Akashi was a kind, generous person, and an amazing captain. Then Kise met Akashi’s other self. At first, he wasn’t sure what to think. Honestly, he was a little scared of the new Akashi, back at Teikou—they all were, especially the ones who saw that awful showdown with Murasakibara—but even then, Kise still considered him a friend.
Because the new Akashi was nothing but nice to him. Maybe even a little nicer, in fact, than he was to everyone else… Not in a big way or anything. But Akashi always went along with Kise’s ideas, even the worst ones, back when they were being mean to their opponents. He talked to Kise kindly, and never teased him like the others. He wasn’t much for teasing in general, actually.
Kise had always liked that about him.
(Maybe that was weird, because he didn’t really mind getting teased. But it was true.)
Still, Kise never gave any of this much thought. After the Winter Cup, Akashi went back to the way he was before. Months later, he explained to the Generation of Miracles that he still had two selves. He said his other self was resting, and wanted to be alone for a while. Kise felt kind of bad. He remembered seeing the other Akashi’s shocked face, when he started to lose in the finals. He looked so upset. Kise sure hoped he was okay.
And then…
Well, then summer arrived, along with that street ball match against those assholes from Jabberwock. Akashi warned the Generation of Miracles beforehand that his other self might show up during the game. (He seemed really worried about it, until they all told him it was fine, because of course it was.)
But Kise was anything but prepared, when the moment finally came. At the time, he was way too caught up in his decision to go all out, and give his teammates the best possible chance to beat those bastards. His choice would take him out of the game. He knew that from the beginning. But that didn’t stop his heart from sinking along with his legs, when they gave out all too soon and he fell to his knees…
Suddenly a hand reached out to him. Akashi’s hand. Akashi told him he wasn’t weak, that he had done well.
And before Kise really knew what was happening, a pair of arms caught him up. Akashi was supporting him, helping carefully across the court. Then a voice said his name beside his ear, in that eerily familiar way.
“Leave the rest to me… Ryouta.”
Kise would never forget the chill that rocketed down his spine at that sound. Had the other Akashi always said his name that way? With hushed emphasis, like each syllable was vitally important? Kise couldn’t remember.
And there he was again, with his face so close… The Akashi with two different colored eyes, that flashed like lightning when he was truly furious. Which, in that moment, he was.
But he seemed like he was feeling something else, too… Kise didn’t know what. Still, the look in Akashi’s catlike eyes when he said Kise had done more than enough compared to the rest of them, had sent a wave of warmth over Kise’s skin.
In that moment, Kise realized how much he had missed Akashi. Both of them. The first one, and the other Akashi, too. The person who called him Ryouta, and returned his texts even in those depressing days when the Generation of Miracles were all acting like enemies. Akashi, who always looked right at him when they were talking, and never told him to shut up or go away.
But after the match, Akashi's other self was gone again. Later, Akashi said he had decided to go back to being a part of him, permanently. Everyone was shocked. Kise didn’t say anything… But honestly, he was upset at first. Because why did Akashi’s other self have to go away without even saying goodbye like that?
But as the weeks went by, it was clear Akashi’s other self wasn’t gone. Not really. He was still there, just even more a part of Akashi. If anything, the way Akashi acted now just made Kise realize that both of Akashi’s selves were never all that different in the first place.
And sometimes, when Akashi looked at Kise now, the memories would come rushing back to Kise, of that glistening moment when Akashi carried him across the court, eyes blazing with intensity, and called him ‘Ryouta.’
Back in the present, Kise’s ears were turning pink. He averted his eyes from the mirror, trying to will himself to stop blushing.
Kise had no clue if his friends were right, or what. But it didn’t change his plans. He had agreed to meet Akashi for his own reasons. One of them was how much he loved Christmas. He really did want to show Akashi how great it could be.
As for the other stuff, well… Kuroko had been right, actually. And all their friends too. Sort of. In a way.
They had just mixed up some details, about who was doing what.