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Days were empty, light after dark, dark after light. By and by they flew away like dust in the air. He didn’t remember how many of them already passed since the world turned empty. He found himself listening to his tunes, lying on the ground following family tradition, sometimes eating a little bit, but well, ghosts didn’t need much food anyway. Endlessly repeating the cycle, he lost all meaning. From time to time he found himself wondering why he was doing all this, or even what the reason for his existence was. But it didn’t really matter whether he kept existing or disappeared to anyone, so he might as well just stay around, staying out of everyone’s way, continuing the tradition. He was never again able to see the world, the galaxy, life, meaning, though. One time, after the world turned empty, he did see and feel it, when a certain human child visited him. The child was kind even to someone like him, but they left as well. Like everyone. It was alright though, he knew they had their hopes and dreams to follow and he supported that. He wasn’t allowed to complain. The problem was just that he was yet to find his own hopes and dreams. But everything was so dark that he lost the will to go look for them. The sun had left him, and without the sun he found it hard to keep living, even if he was a ghost.
One day, he turned on the television, out of a weird hunch. He felt like he needed to, but couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. That was when he saw Mettaton’s show for the first time. It sparked a small, small fire within him, an ember of hope. Because Mettaton made him think of a certain ghost he used to know. Not just any ghost too, it made him think of the sun he had lost. He kept watching, always, and he noticed he was living towards every moment the robot showed up on TV, keeping his small ember alive. Every day, when living the family tradition, his view got a bit clearer, sometimes showing small sparkles of stars, but it never got as beautiful as it did before the emptiness, only when the child visited him. He knew that meant he needed others, even if he was afraid to be a bother, even if he thought he should just be alone. So when the human child was featured on Mettaton’s show, and he felt his soul skip a beat when seeing his idol’s knew completed form (that reminded him even more of his sun, really), and heard him announce they would allow callers during that show… he acted on an impulse for the first time in his existence. When listening to the phone connecting, he felt his ember slowly dying out since there was a very small chance his phone call would be chosen. And then Mettaton answered and he found himself at a loss of words. ‘… Oh… hi… Mettaton… I really liked watching your show… My life is pretty boring… but… seeing you on the screen… brought excitement to my life… vicariously I can’t tell, but… I guess this is the last episode…? I’ll miss you… Mettaton… Oh… I didn’t mean to talk so long… Oh…’ He quickly stopped the phone call, feeling out of breath, his whole body glowing with embarrassment. Before hanging up, he could faintly hear Mettaton trying to stop him, and he watched his confused expression on television for a few seconds before turning the screen off and putting his headphones on to chase away all his misplaced feelings. Images of a sassy pink ghost, smiling and shining as radiantly as the sun sailed through his mind and he turned up the volume more and more and more. Because it couldn’t be… It just couldn’t be him… He was getting his hopes up too high, soaring when he should stay on the ground in order not to fall down hard. It couldn’t be him… But he never stopped thinking. The days of emptiness returned, accompanied by dreams in which someone was beside him, saying his name, dragging him into the light. But they made the days only more painful. Endlessly he tried pushing the memories out with music, even forgetting the family tradition, leaving him with no reason to exist anymore. Darkness was cruel. Letting him cry until he got numb and no more tears would fall. Making him forget the days as they passed by.
Until, suddenly, the door was swung open, making him jump and drop his headphones. Silence enveloped the room, but the presence of someone in the house was evident. He was too frightened to turn around, because his fantasy was running wild again. He should stop hoping forever to prevent the unescapable feeling of disappointment. But in the end, he couldn’t. He gave into temptation and turned to face the intruder. The sight he was greeted with left him frozen to the floor, speechless. Short black hair with long bangs and pink highlights, covering one eye. Long eyelashes, decorating eyes that had too complicated a gaze for him to understand. Legs. Long, beautiful, fabulous legs which the owner was more than a little proud of. He watched Mettaton as his eyes softened and he put on a sad smile. ‘I… I’m sorry to intrude, darling.’
He blinked, not yet able to register what was happening as real, wondering if he had become unable to recognize the line between fantasy and reality. He merely kept watching as Mettaton let his gaze travel around the house, not looking at him, uncharacteristically nervous.
Mettaton seemed so beautiful, so amazing, so real, that he could only stare at the way he looked, moved, existed. He had been intrigued by him on television, but it couldn’t compare to the way he was in his house right now. And that was when he realized, that this was neither a dream nor an illusion; as he had only been able to see Mettaton on the television so far, there was no way he was able to imagine such realness.
‘uhm… Mettaton?’ the words left him before he realized and automatically he flew backwards, scared and ashamed. ‘Is that really you… Mettaton? Oh… I’m sorry. I don’t know what I should do…’
Panic finally won from his numbness as he babbled on like he had done when he was on the telephone with Mettaton before, a weird twitch he’d had since forever. ‘Oh… I’m not… prepared… I should have cleaned up… At least… Oh… But I had no idea… Mettaton would be coming… Oh no.’
He kept babbling until a sudden thought struck him – Mettaton was not interrupting him. Everyone always interrupted him at some point when he was like this. Except for…
He froze and turned around, searching for Mettaton’s facial expression like a lost, desperate child. And found the most beautiful smile he had ever seen in the world. For a second he thought he could see small tears glittering in the corner of Mettaton’s one eye that was visible, but maybe that was just his imagination playing tricks on him again. He could feel himself calming down, however. It was the same. Exactly the same as in the past when…
‘… Mettaton?’
Mettaton’s smile widened. And now he could clearly see the small tears falling down slowly. The waves of all feelings clashing inside of him was overwhelming. Could it really be that…
No no no, it just couldn’t be… It was too good to be true, too much like a dream, not meant for someone like him. But he crept closer, slowly, following his once empty hopes and dreams. Maybe, just maybe, there was no need for him to be alone anymore. Or maybe he was wrong, oh so wrong, but he felt like he didn’t care. For once, he felt like he wanted to take this risk.
It felt like forever to get close to Mettaton, whose tears kept falling, making him unable to look away, as if hypnotized. Images of the past flew through his mind again. Of a pink ghost, with one eye covered by locks of hair, always beaming with flair and energy. Too flashy to be a ghost, unique in so many ways. Shining with love showering down on him, as if he was his own personal sun. Together, working at the now long abandoned snail farm, listening to ghost tunes, and… practicing the family tradition, watching a thousand different colours mix into a galaxy build of hopes and dreams…
He stopped, because Mettaton was right in front of him.
‘… Is it you?’ He asked, but immediately lost courage. ‘Oh no… I’m probably wrong… Sorry…’ Images of what could go wrong and the negative ways in which Mettaton could react swam through his mind, creating a mess of insecurity.
‘Could you look at me for a bit, darling?’ He then heard Mettaton ask. Mettaton’s voice wavered slightly.
He did what was asked anyway, feeling swept away by a weird current of sudden determination. He looked at Mettaton, really looked, locking their gazes together and he felt like home.
Mettaton let out a sound that was like a mix of crying and laughing, wiping away his tears quickly with his right hand. ‘I’m home, Blooky,’ he then said.
And Napstablook couldn’t stop his tears from falling anymore. Everything suddenly seemed so real and right, that the small ember within him ignited into a giant flame of hope.
‘Oh… Mettaton… I’m sorry…’
‘No no no, it’s me who is sorry. Oh, come here darling,’ was all he heard before Mettaton moved even closer to hug him but-
‘… Mettaton… You… Uhm… Will pass straight through me… Oh.. well…’
That didn’t stop Mettaton from moving closer still, and Napstablook started to feel so empty, so useless, because he was a ghost no one could even touch, and he wanted to run away and feel miserable on his own… until Mettaton spoke again.
‘Ssh, that’s not true, Blooky. Just close your eyes and feel it.’
And that was what he did. Because it was his lost sun right in front of him, as he had thought all along but was too scared to believe in. He wanted to give him all his trust now, forever and ever.
At first, he didn’t feel anything, and his insecurity started to slowly return, but then, suddenly, a warmth surrounded him like a blanket, filling up his once empty soul with the love he had been searching for – even though he had been too scared to admit that, shutting himself out from the world. He cried, warm tears of joy. And as he did, he swore he could see a thousand different colours, building the forgotten galaxy of hopes and dreams. As Mettaton pulled him closer, he knew he was not the only one who was able to see it. They were home.