Chapter Text
- Mandy.. do you really have to go now? Can’t you stay a little bit longer? - Micheal stood on the doorstep of the house. He kept his hands tied, not knowing what to do with them. He knew this was coming a long time ago. Afterall, they agreed to sign the papers, they said to each other that they would be on the friendly side. For the kids’ sake. Still, the thought of Amanda taking them and leaving him burned a hole in his chest. He wished he could do something, anything to bring them back inside. He just didn’t want to be alone again. Not in this big house, now scraped from any resemblance of family ever living there. Except for the photos standing, hanging here or there.
- Micheal, we’ve talked about this.. - she sighed, her irritation visible in her eyes as she drew her eyebrows close. She planned to leave early, not wanting to see her ex anymore. Not that she hates him, that’s not the point. She just knew the man she was once in love with would try to stop them, even for a little while. If it were a couple years ago, she would change her mind, seeing Mike so lost in this situation, so vulnerable. But it's present. They don't want to fight anymore and she is stable enough to stand her ground without fear of what happens next - You won’t be stepping in my tracks anymore. I'm asking as a friend, please, just let us be. Go back to your own life, don’t drag us down with hope I’ll change my mind. You know it's for the best. For both of us, Mike.
Micheal weakly laughed, clenching his fists in a way Amanda couldn't see. He tried to relax his arms and chest, they felt so strangely heavy. Of course he knew. He knew it was a lost cause, he just couldn’t help it. Without saying anything, he took out his hand and smiled for her as hard as he could.
- I hope the best for you, Mandy. - he took her hand and shook it gently, not breaking eye contact - I wish you the best of luck, though I know you won’t need it.
She smiled back and broke the handshake.
- Stay away from more trouble, okay? - she asked, not waiting for a response. She waved goodbye with her back turned to him, as she walked away.
Then, she got into her red car, looked at him one last time, smiled politely - trying to be as neutral as possible - and slowly drove off. Micheal at that moment wanted to run after them and beg one last time to change their mind. But there he was, standing still. He didn't want to cause any more trouble for them. He had done more than enough to ruin their lives.
Still, he hoped to get a call from them from time to time.
- I’ll be here if you need me! - he shouted, which resulted in a loud honk. Micheal thought she heard him.
In reality, Amanda was honking at a cyclist who sped dangerously close to her car, almost risking an accident.
Now looking at the empty driveway, Micheal felt the bittersweet smile on his face. He felt it, just as he felt small tears forming in the corners of his grey eyes. He looked down, even though there was no one to witness him crying.
He knew it was for the best. That they needed it. That divorce was the best option for them - not just to end the non-stop fights between them all. But also because, just like Amanda, he himself stopped feeling that spark between them a long time ago. To be honest, he doesn't even know anymore if there was a spark - back then Mandy was just a good friend, someone who would listen to him. Someone, with whom he could have fun.
For many years they’ve been together, not because of love, but for Tracey and Jimmy. They tried to love each other - no, wrong. They tried to at least tolerate each other, make agreements, just to barely be able to get used to it. To this whole situation.
But now it wasn’t needed anymore. Their kids have grown up. They could be true to themselves and decide, if they wanted this play to act until they turn to the other side. And that decision was easy for Amanda. After talking about this to her kids - who were pretty confused and shocked, but after some time they understood the whole situation - one night she just confronted Micheal about this.
Micheal at this time was slowly sipping his second glass of whiskey, feeling tired after a long day he had. He almost dropped the drink, hearing the news. Even though he expected this sooner or later, he felt like the floor he’s standing on started shattering to pieces. He predicted it and at the same time he wasn't ready. Not yet.
But after a long night of them talking about this, analyzing the advantages of this decision, mostly focusing on the future of their kids and bad influence Micheal subconsciously provides for them, they agreed on the woman's idea.
Micheal couldn't bare standing outside any longer, feeling as every pair of eyes were glued to him, watching him slowly crashing down, aggressively tearing down every bit of him, until he was completely nude, guts and sorrow gushing out of him. Micheal reentered his home, locking the door behind him. His home. House. Big mansion with empty walls, with no soul except his. Even though his soul at this moment also felt empty.
He stood in the middle of the corridor, completely devastated. His legs wanted to give on, but the man pushed through it. Was it really just it? Will he just get on with his life and with some time learn to accept the fact that his wif- ex-wife left him? Was there something he could do differently, better?
- What am I even supposed to do now? - he said bluntly to himself, staring into his hands. He brings them to his face, wiping the tears without a care.
Surprisingly, he wasn't pissed nor even angry. At least not yet. Last time Amanda left him with the kids, he was mad. He smashed a lot of things back then, wanting his emotions out of his system. Don't get him wrong, sadness also dwelled deep in him - but to relieve his darker thoughts, he went out as much as he could with the boys.
If it weren't for Franklin and Trevor, he surely would be in a much worse state.
But this time is different. They both agreed on this. There's nothing he can do anymore. He can't repair something that has already been solved in another way. And that made him feel lost. He doesn't know what he can do. Was there even something he could do?
Only now he realized his life got to the point where he doesn't have to work for something anymore. Everything he always wanted to do, he already did.
At least for one thing, but even for a criminal like him it's wrong. He doesn't deserve this.
At this point Micheal is gripping on his hair to the point he can barely feel pain from it. Tears are still slowly pouring down his face, though he isn't sobbing. With a slow pace, one step after another, he goes deeper into the room. His teary eyes catch the bottle of whiskey, still standing on the kitchen counter.
Well, if it isn’t a good reason to drink a couple of glasses, Micheal doesn't know what is.